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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Checking in after 22 years
Post Info TOPIC: Checking in after 22 years
Living Free


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Checking in after 22 years
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Hello!

I'm not real sure how this online version of Alanon works.  I hope that I'm not out of bounds by starting a topic to explain why I'm here.

I am not currently living with or affected by an alcoholic.  

I learned about Alanon 26 years ago, right after I left my alcoholic/abusive husband.  I was so thankful for the 4 years that I spent in this program.  Well in the process of learning to live again, I met my current husband of almost 22yrs.   I thought I had everything under control,  I stopped going to Alanon and left everything that reminded me of my first marriage behind.  As if it never happened.  It is only by the grace of God and the sweet loving patience of my dear husband that we are still married.   

Over time I have become an emotional and mental wreck.  I'm a control freak.  I have OCD tendencies.  I recently quit my high paying job because after 20 years I can't handle the stress of it anymore.   I use to thrive on stress and now I'm filled with anxiety, insomnia and I suffer panic attacks for no reason. My mom has also passed away and I feel so alone.  I have developed a severe fear of alcohol and I have always feared that my current husband will become an alcoholic.  I hate that I can't relax and have one drink with friends without a HUGE anxiety/panic attack taking over.

Is it possible that my issues are stemming from my past?  Are all of my buried emotions resurfacing?  Reading the other topics and comments I am realizing and remembering all the benefits of this program and how much it truly helped me before. 

I would like to stick around for awhile and rediscover those roots that have become so jumbled and out of control. My heart tells me that this is where I belong and I miss the feeling of belonging to something that is bigger than myself and sharing with people who really get it.  If too much time has passed and my issues do not belong here anymore please tell me.  

Thank you 

 



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hotrod


~*Service Worker*~

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Welcome Living Free, as is stated in the alanon literature alanon  is for anyone who lives with or has lived with the disease of alcoholism.  I can identify.I left program thinking i was cured when  I felt the benefits of program and once sobriety entered my home.  I thought"I have the tools and  I can do this by myself."   I found out how wrong I was and returned a little humbled but grateful.  

It was pointed out to me that this is a "WE" program and like the alcoholic if I practice the program I receive a daily reprieve from my" isms".  I need to keep coming back in oder to grow and maintain my spiritual connections.  So please do keep coming back and join in. 



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Betty

THE HIGHEST FORM OF WISDOM IS KINDNESS

Talmud
Iamhere


~*Service Worker*~

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Welcome Free - welcome to MIP - glad you found us and glad you shared. I am one who wonders if we who love/live with an alcoholic (or have done so) are affected more so than them at times. I am not certain if it's the past that is affecting your present but certainly working on you and applying the principles and steps can't do anything but help at this point.

I have taken 'breaks' in my recovery, and it's not worked out well. I am one who just does better with purpose and structure and consistency. I do believe our brains are unique, impressionable and hard-wired to make us each different in our own way - some deal with change, stress, loss, joy, serenity, comfort differently than others.

Glad that you've come back - sending you positive thoughts and prayers that just for today, you can find a bit of comfort in your return - take care of you and be gentle!!

__________________

Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging.  Pause before assuming.  Pause before accusing.  Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret.  ~~~~  Lori Deschene

 

 
Living Free


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Thank you so much for taking the time to reply and thank you for welcoming me.

I have always known that I should've never left but I wasn't sure how to add this to my new life.  Thank goodness for technology!  I look forward to working the program again.

I have searched for my little blue book with no success.  Do you know of an online version?

Thanks again!

LF



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kismetstrand


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Hi and welcome Living Free! You can find Al-Anon literature and other info at this link ecomm.al-anon.org/shop


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Let your light shine in the darkness.
"I can't just bring my mind to meetings...I must also bring my heart."
Jerry F


~*Service Worker*~

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Aloha Living Free and welcome back...I need your Experience, Strength and Hope (ESH) because I came to understand that the insanity which raged in my life before I got to Al-Anon had been there for a long time and had become so normal that I accepted it as "the" part of my life I should be having.  I was born and raised in the disease so did not know any different.  Successive 4th steps revealed it's long presence in my life from childhood.  Even with a family religion I could not understand a power greater than myself who could help me.  What was there to help...we were normal.  It wasn't until 1979 and in my 3rd alcoholic/addict relationship that I came to clearly understand that I was insane and that I needed more information about what was going on.  It took me two trips to get inside the doors of the program and then to make the choice to stay (38 years ago).  I came to know and know that I know what the disease was in my life and how I behaved in it and supported it.

Al-Anon and the steps, traditions, concepts, support, literature and all else is what is necessary for me to live in sanity and support of my life and the lives around me.  MIP is a big part of my family today.  When I come here I come home.  Welcome back.   ((((hugs)))) wink



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Living Free


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I appreciate the link to the literature Kismetstrand. Thank you everyone, for the welcome and support.

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Suburban Denizen


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Hi, Living Free...

You're not alone. I was involved in Al-Anon in the late 1980s for about 3 years, then circumstances changed and I thought my need for the fellowship changed as well. It would have been good for me to have stuck around, but (after 25+ years!) when I once again found I needed it very badly, Al-An on re-welcomed me with open arms. It is an amazing gift.

Onward!

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"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the little voice at the end of the day that says 'I'll try again tomorrow.'"

Mary Anne Radmacher
Enigmatic


~*Service Worker*~

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Welcome Living, glad to have you

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Paul

"...when we try to control others, we lose the ability to manage our own lives."  - Paths to Recovery 
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