The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
My daughter has so much resentment she is not going to heal and I am losing hope of every having a good relationship with her. SHe is drinking occasionally but otherwise white-knuckling it and not going to meetings and thus she is overcome with resentment and self pity and last night I dug a hole for myself and wanted to die. I am a recovering addict / alcoholic and she always like to bring up the past and what loser I was and boy when she wants to lay on the guilt to manuipulate me she knows exactly what buttons to push and so lastnight I fell for her tricks and bought into the idea that I am still a loser. I am losiing hope. All she wants from me is what money I have and the stuff the money I can buy.
I know my daughter is sick and there is no reasoning with her but my anger and hurt just came out last night. I tried praying the St. Francis prayer so that I could be a consoler and bring peace, etc. but I am about done trying. I am trying to take it day by day or hour by hour and trying to detach from her behavior and keep my self healthy but is so hard when it just goes from bad to worse.
I need help in learning how to cope with her anger and resentment.
Welcome ChurchLady , You are not alone. Alcoholism is a three fold, chronic, fatal disease over which we are powerless.
In order to recover from the insanity of attempting to cope with the disease, The Alanon recovery program was established. Face to Face meetings are held in most communities and the hot line number is in the white pages . I urge you to checkput the program. It was here that I broke the isolation caused by living with the disease, had my self esteem and self respect restored as I developed new tools to live by and a supportive community to grow with
I have attended Al Anon meetings but not consistently enough to understand a lot of the principles. I live in a rural area where there aren't a lot o meetings and so just today joined this chat room and am glad I did.
Welcome to MIP Churchlady - glad you found us and glad that you joined in. I too am in recovery and I too have children who are affected by the disease. It's a difficult path, but Al-Anon has been a huge gift for me. I am sending you positive thoughts and prayers - know that there is hope and help and you are not alone!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
