Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

usf1970 · usf1970

I'm in a bit of a crisis (self-inflicted) and my sponsor is on vacation. I don't want to bother her. I have a medically complex 8 yo grandson and he is currently in the hospital. I read a FB post on my daughter's page about another child having similar problems and it turned out that the issue was cancer. Th...

WestMan · WestMan

Was giving a good friend a ride this morning. Eventually during our conversation she asked how my AW has been and was wondering if she was still going to meetings. She said my wife had told her about the addiction and starting AA. I told her that I appreciated her asking but that she would have to ask my wif...

Iamhere · Iamhere

The reading today is about adopting healthy behaviors to replace adaptive unhealthy behaviors many of us practice before recovery. The writer discusses the suggested closing portion --- "let there be no gossip or criticism of one another." --- and works hard to leave judgmental attitudes out...

SoggySlippers · SoggySlippers

Just wanted to say hello again.It's been awhile since I've been here and it's good to be back. As much as I try to make myself believe that I don't need people,that I can deal with all of this on my own,it's simply a big fat lie.

mamalioness · mamalioness

I wrote this on Facebook this morning the doctors told the girls Jane was imminent and they would give her one more morphine to make sure there was no pain They didn't have to drug her..She , when her breathing mask was pulled off, barely fluttered her eyes and she passed away peacefully....Thank you A...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

This weekend was the trip back to Illinois and really had a nice time .. it was good to see old friends and watch the kids have fun. I did not see my daughter much as she was out and about with her BFF. I love those kids without question and I feel so badly that they don't have the same relationships here curr...

Kmtaylor · Kmtaylor

Hi today the concept of powerlessness has been reinforced. I realize I can't control or change what my AH is doing. I feel so disrespected I just don't know how to handle it. My AH uses other things as well and has been leaving things around the house. I don't want to see it, smell it, nothing. I don't want i...

Ducky · Ducky

Hello, I am new to this forum, and came her specifically for some opinions on the matter of my MIL. My husband and I are expecting our first child in January and had our gender reveal this last weekend. I picked up his mother and brought her to our home, when she got to our home within 15 minutes she could bar...

BethBethBeth · BethBethBeth

Hi all. I just need to vent and hopefully get some ESH. My AH and I have been in therapy a month. He admitted to being a 'problem drinker' (right?) in our first session. I have known this for a while and been going to alanon and working the steps one day at a time so I am a baby in recovery. In our third sessi...

a4l · a4l

It drives me absolutely nuts to deal with a 62 year old professional victim. Everything's so rooted in the past and its just selfish. Everyone has had problems been hurt. Why can't we lock people in a room and slogan them to health?? Grrr. Just a foo vent. I must remind myself, Christopher Robyn didn't t...

kadriliisa · kadriliisa

Where i can find al anon book Pathways to recovery electronically?

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

The author of today's page addressed the illusions that can limit serenity: The illusion that we can or should control others, and the illusion that the emptiness we feel inside can be filled with something outside of our self. AlAnon suggests that healing begins when we see what we need to heal withi...

Rakiaanan · Rakiaanan

i am really weak now , i keep forgiving my boyfriend drunk behavior . up and down . i can love him anymore

a4l · a4l

Today I am grateful for my sanity as I know it, work in progress that it is. I'm waist deep with the foo, and its great but there are definite aspects of certifiably insane, literally. Having said that, every generation brings a bit of hope. Makes me wonder how much of mental illness is a fear defense. ...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good Morning Everyone- Today's reading is about the defense mechanisms we may learn having grown up or living with alcoholism. The writer specifically mentions how he/she learned to hide from his/her alcoholic parents. Over time the writer learned to hide in obvious ways, and more subtle, such...

Mapper · Mapper

I am someone who is a doer. I've always been one to get things done when they need to get done. I'm constantly cleaning the house, doing yardwork, running errands, paying bills. I rarely sit still for 5 minutes when H is at work because that's my time to get things done. Because when he's home he'll make ja...

kayS · kayS

I'm new here and, I don't know, sort of new to life with an alcoholic/addict. 6 years now. To me it feels more and more like this is my life rather than a bump in the road. My husband of 23 years - someone I've been involved with since we were both in 8th grade (so 33 years now), is addicted to opiates. It st...

nobody7 · nobody7

I am new to this message though not new to the program. I have gone through so many changes in the last five years that were very necessary for my well being. I am in a safe place and doing okay. But I am having trouble with going to any meetings so this feels safe to me for right now. I work the program as b...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

Today's page considers the struggling newcomer to AlAnon, and suggests not overwhelming them further with a flood of advice. A warm welcome, some encouragement and reassurance is suggested. A newcomer's arrival can benefit all as it is an opportunity for them to find relief and hope, and for us to b...

lookingup · lookingup

Managing time,,time managementPermalink Reply Quote More Hello everybody,hope all is having a great weekend im working on how to manage my time, seems I spend way to much time on one thing when I should be spending my time elsewhere, if that makes sense,this is a everyday issue in my life,,I star...

Mapper · Mapper

We had a housewarming/anniversary party to go to this past weekend. It is a very good friend of my H. I was a little afraid of going because my H and his wife had a falling out a few years ago, but are now over it, but it was still awkward to go hang out with people who I haven't seen or talked to in over two years....

Iamhere · Iamhere

Some may remember and some may not but I have a cousin who lost her 18 YO son in a horrific car accident about 1.5 years ago. As I can only guess, and not imagine, she's not been the same since and has some severe depression, PTSD, grieving issues. I've been reaching out to her ever since inviting her to go t...

mamalioness · mamalioness

Ever since I got into recovery, I have slammed, cursed, wished death upon active alcoholics ALL because My mother was one of the worst kind...Instead of 30 pieces of silver, she sold me to my bio sire, HER husband for a quart of Seagram 7...That is all I was worth..."Trafficked" by my own bio mother...a...

hotrod · hotrod

The ODAT reading for July 23 speaks about having "racing thoughts" and urges that we take time to examine their validity.. The reading suggests that many times these raising thoughts are so complex that it is difficult to reason them out, so that it is best if we not waste our time doing so. That we c...

mamalioness · mamalioness

I have been, for my entire life, battling the "can't stay in the moment" issue...not being able to stay in the present....not in my body, et al, common and expected, actually, byproducts of severe child abuse and trauma...I had to dissociate from my mind/body for so long, it became a habit... my RX???...

hotrod · hotrod

ODAT Reading for July 22 speaks about trying to understand the disease of alcoholism. It points out that reading scientific books on the disease, unless we are professionals in the field, will give us no additional information because nothing will be gained by an in-depth study of the disease. It p...

Charlotte22 · Charlotte22

Hi Everyone, I KNOW that HIGHER POWER is is in these boards and rooms and speaks through others. When I was in my 20s i was very depressed and someone told me about A l anon after hearing about my father and the alcoholism in my family. After 1 years in AL ANON the depression completely went away! I found...

mamalioness · mamalioness

2017 has been the year from hell and I could simmer in that and "woe is me" on that and make it WORSE if that is of my choosing, but I choose to find the roses amidst this "manure" ladened year Grateful for: I made my peace with my sister, on my own, reached out and forgave and established some sort of "OK" rela...

LexieA · LexieA

I am going to not figure out what might happen in my future, but look at the present moment and see the beauty in my surroundings. I am going to enjoy my visit with my sister and not think about what my AH might do! I am going to bring humor into my day like making laughing animal noises with my kids to not feel t...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading is all about core Al-Anon - how we are powerless and can recover if we are willing to believe and trust a power greater than ourselves. The opening line - "The people I love won't take care of themselves, so I have to do it. How will they survive unless I ....." - that is often the thinking o...

shrnp · shrnp

I hope nobody minds if I share this, I can't talk about it to anyone right now. My ex-husband just called me and he is getting paroled after spending 25 years in prison. It blew my mind when he told me. Where I live they have almost abolished parole and I was not expecting it. I have to wait for my son to get ho...

mamalioness · mamalioness

all the stresses since December have finally caught up with me...I felt myself going "south" for a while now......Real sick today!!! ...Was supposed to work today, but texted her and told her I was ill.... Yesterday, I am crying because I can't be mindful, racing fearful thoughts abound, doing my se...

Skorpi · Skorpi

I am still struggling with letting natural consequences for decisions my wife makes play out. Luckily, HP has provided many opportunities for me to practice not rushing in and "saving" the day.

Most recent from this morning: she was due to get off probation in the fall, and with no violations. Ho...

Mary99 · Mary99

I am an ACOA, with many alcoholic family members. I don't drink. My husband drinks wine occasionally. I read with interest the thread where sponsors told people in Al- anon to " remove themselves from all things alcohol", because I have largely been doing this over the years. I also related to people w...

uncreativename · uncreativename

I have gone to meetings in the past, but haven't stuck with it. I am just recently trying again. What I learned in my short attempts at attending meetings before was very helpful to me. I recently had an experience that showed me that I really do need more help in dealing with the alcoholism in my family. T...

Mapper · Mapper

H is so up and down all the time with his mood. Every day I hold my breath hoping he will come home happy from work. Some days a coworker or customer will really get to him and he will come home upset and snap and pretty much anything I say or do. Those nights are so long because I feel like Im walking on eggshell...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Good morning MIP Family! Today's reading discusses change being inevitable and joy. Many of us rarely felt joy before recovery. The program often leads us to find it more frequently. For many, we become too busy trying to avoid change to enjoy the gifts we have for fear of loosing them. What we co...

elrlagoon1996 · elrlagoon1996

Hi everyone, I am new to this journey. My husband is an all day drinker (vodka martini & land shark) who retired last year which only gives him more time to drink. He has a history of anxiety and anger (neither of which he will admit). I am finally seeking help because I am tired of this life (20 year...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

Have I turned my will and life over to a power greater than myself? Hmm .. seems to be the question of the day .. acceptance. Acceptance of self as well as others. I spent yesterday afternoon trapped in a training I had originally been looking forward to and found it horribly awkward and uncomfortab...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

Today's author shared in wonderment how AlAnon interaction at a local level is a part of a worldwide group, that we are truly not alone. The ties that bind us are the positive experiences we have and share when we focus on the common goal of understanding the alcoholic and encouraging the relatives and...

VickiR · VickiR

As some of you remember, I have been separated from my AH for a week and a half, after I called the police after a domestic incident. It has been so painful to be ripped apart like this, even though I know it's for the best, we were together for 10 years, many of them great, and suddenly he has been ejected fro...

a4l · a4l

I had a lovely month with my mother. It was tiring and I had to breathe deeply at times, but we got through it and I'm glad. Time is not as long as I used to imagine it was. I'm glad I didn't throw the baby out with the bathwater. The kids had a great time, the girls love to talk and eat and there's just some thing...

WestMan · WestMan

Reading through some of the posts this morning on break and those are the words that keep popping out at me repeatedly. I appreciate this about Al Anon. That the program recognizes that I need this. That I should be focusing on myself and the shortcomings I can work on. Also, that I can stop the way I typic...

SaraLin · SaraLin

My alcoholic boyfriend told me via Facebook last night that he's been cheating on me. His message was short & to the point and he refused to respond to any of my questions after that. I didn't sleep all night and haven't heard from him today. I am in so much pain. He's done a lot of shitty things to m...

Lyne · Lyne

So after 8 or 9 weeks of sobriety, my A is going to resume her friendship with a married couple who drink too much. These people are like indigestion-they keep moving away and then moving back. I feel so disappointed and discouraged. It was hopeful and fun to think that we might have a different and be...

Bethany66 · Bethany66

Sometimes I feel like I havent got a reason to complain if I hold my life against anothers. My A is not physically abusive, doesnt go to jail, doesnt wreck cars or lose jobs. He is 13 years older than I am, retired and spends almost all his time at home. He cooks dinner most nights while I work, he does the...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

Today's page reviews Tradition Five and our "...one purpose: to help families of alcoholics...by practicing the 12 Steps of AA ourselves, encouraging and understanding our alcoholic relatives, and by welcoming and giving comfort to families of alcoholics." The author found a way to focus on sel...

Jerry F · Jerry F

I was looking for an Avatar that kinda sorta demonstrated the alcoholic personality and there it was right in my back yard. I call this bird "Cockarooster" because he is soooo cocky starting his crowing early in the morning and trying to get the feral chickens in the neighborhood to gather around h...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning Everyone- Today's reading speaks to the relief of letting go of elf-pity and replacing it with a sense of humor. The writer describes being at a meeting where she is complaining about her husband and the situation they were in- someone else at the meeting laughs at what she is describing...

_bunny_ · _bunny_

I feel like I'm taking on a bit too much recently, and to retrieve back some of my "me" time to focus on taking care of myself, I've been practicing saying "no" more often than normal. It's mainly just to small 5 to 10 minute requests from friends or family, such as picking up the mail while someones out tow...

Ruby456 · Ruby456

Hi I am new to forum but so need help and advice. Been with husband for long time and he has always been massively heavy drinker. Big personality and life and soul of everything. Doesn't want to drink at home but wants to be out til late most nights drinking maybe for up to 6 hours a day. We split once years...

bzz123 · bzz123

I went to my first meeting last night and I am so glad I went. We were talking about detachment with love and I was wondering if you had some examples of what works for you and/or examples of things that you have done. I'm currently in this detachment state, but with anger and/or numbness and I would like t...

courage101 · courage101

JULY 17, 2017 MONDAY EVENING AL-ANON MEETING IN PROGRESS 9PM EST (6PM PACIFIC) TOPICS: Self Esteem, Not self confidence. The website link to the group meeting room is http://www.12stepforums.net/chatroom2.html. There are other ways to join the room also. Using mIRC or other chat client, th...

BreathingInAndOut · BreathingInAndOut

Thank you everyone for coming together and creating this safe, supportive community. I am learning a lot, and I am feeling better. Releasing myself from attempts to control others and from the guilt of not being able to control others has in itself done so much for me. I feel more whole and more hopeful...

mamalioness · mamalioness

We have had horrid rains here in TX....everyday it is raining..pools of water standing near a couple of areas around my house....bailing out puddles so the mosquitos don't have a breeding fest......its awful...every day, i rush out to play tennis before the now expected deluge comes...I have been...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

Today's author became involved with the qualifiers' problems to the point of forgetting that happiness is possible regardless of what the drinker decides to do. After beginning recovery in AlAnon, the author heard that "youll have to make it whether the alcoholics do or not." Choosing to detach f...

MissM · MissM

Al anon has given me the opportunity to develop some wonderful new perspectives on things that once seemed very black and white. One of these is the ability to enjoy the wonderful qualities people have, even when they might also be someone that I need to detach from in other ways. I see this as a great gif...

Parame · Parame

I don't understand how a man can tell you he loves you in Oct, talk about living together, Nov starts drinking and pushes you away, by Dec on a binge then recovery for the 5 or 6 time. Comes out after 5 months while you've waited only to give you a typed letter saying the same excuses he stated in Nov that aren...

el-cee · el-cee

I've had the old head for a wee while. This feeling of dis-ease. Thinking it's the old fears creeping in. I've been having nightmares they are like horror movies blood and violence and death and I've had fear for my family. That old something bad is going to happen I can feel it type of thing. I hate that my...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

In terms of what is "right" or "wrong" for us, what we "should" or "should not" do, or what is/is not "healthy", AlAnon is very clear: we seldom know that for ourselves, and never for others, be they new or experienced. That knowledge belongs to god or higher power alone. These pages provide some helpfu...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	acceptance (Preview) I'm in a bit of a crisis (self-inflicted) and my sponsor is on vacation. I don't want to bother her. I have a medically complex 8 yo grandson and he is currently in the hospital. I read a FB post on my daughter's page about another child having similar problems and it turned out that the issue was cancer. Th...	usf1970	20	778	Jul 28, 2017 by usf1970
	I think I did the Right Thing (Preview) Was giving a good friend a ride this morning. Eventually during our conversation she asked how my AW has been and was wondering if she was still going to meetings. She said my wife had told her about the addiction and starting AA. I told her that I appreciated her asking but that she would have to ask my wif...	WestMan	14	717	Jul 28, 2017 by shrnp
	C2C (Courage to Change) 7/27/17 (Preview) The reading today is about adopting healthy behaviors to replace adaptive unhealthy behaviors many of us practice before recovery. The writer discusses the suggested closing portion --- "let there be no gossip or criticism of one another." --- and works hard to leave judgmental attitudes out...	Iamhere	7	602	Jul 28, 2017 by 2HP
	It's Been Awhile (Preview) Just wanted to say hello again.It's been awhile since I've been here and it's good to be back. As much as I try to make myself believe that I don't need people,that I can deal with all of this on my own,it's simply a big fat lie.	SoggySlippers	5	528	Jul 28, 2017 by a4l
	Sister died today (Preview) I wrote this on Facebook this morning the doctors told the girls Jane was imminent and they would give her one more morphine to make sure there was no pain They didn't have to drug her..She , when her breathing mask was pulled off, barely fluttered her eyes and she passed away peacefully....Thank you A...	mamalioness	20	4960	Jul 27, 2017 by hotrod
	Weekend Visit .. (Preview) This weekend was the trip back to Illinois and really had a nice time .. it was good to see old friends and watch the kids have fun. I did not see my daughter much as she was out and about with her BFF. I love those kids without question and I feel so badly that they don't have the same relationships here curr...	SerenityRUS	8	545	Jul 27, 2017 by Aline
	I am powerless (Preview) Hi today the concept of powerlessness has been reinforced. I realize I can't control or change what my AH is doing. I feel so disrespected I just don't know how to handle it. My AH uses other things as well and has been leaving things around the house. I don't want to see it, smell it, nothing. I don't want i...	Kmtaylor	5	639	Jul 27, 2017 by Iamhere
	Need advice for relapsing MIL (Preview) Hello, I am new to this forum, and came her specifically for some opinions on the matter of my MIL. My husband and I are expecting our first child in January and had our gender reveal this last weekend. I picked up his mother and brought her to our home, when she got to our home within 15 minutes she could bar...	Ducky	4	512	Jul 26, 2017 by WestMan
	Alcohol, intimacy and ridiculousness (Preview) Hi all. I just need to vent and hopefully get some ESH. My AH and I have been in therapy a month. He admitted to being a 'problem drinker' (right?) in our first session. I have known this for a while and been going to alanon and working the steps one day at a time so I am a baby in recovery. In our third sessi...	BethBethBeth	6	640	Jul 26, 2017 by Iamhere
	The victim routine is killing me. (Preview) It drives me absolutely nuts to deal with a 62 year old professional victim. Everything's so rooted in the past and its just selfish. Everyone has had problems been hurt. Why can't we lock people in a room and slogan them to health?? Grrr. Just a foo vent. I must remind myself, Christopher Robyn didn't t...	a4l	8	638	Jul 26, 2017 by Iamhere
	Step one stories electronically? (Preview) Where i can find al anon book Pathways to recovery electronically?	kadriliisa	3	621	Jul 26, 2017 by kadriliisa
	7-26-17 C2C - Illusion of Control (Preview) The author of today's page addressed the illusions that can limit serenity: The illusion that we can or should control others, and the illusion that the emptiness we feel inside can be filled with something outside of our self. AlAnon suggests that healing begins when we see what we need to heal withi...	Enigmatic	3	655	Jul 26, 2017 by Lyne
	hi i want some support (Preview) i am really weak now , i keep forgiving my boyfriend drunk behavior . up and down . i can love him anymore	Rakiaanan	29	1054	Jul 26, 2017 by Aline
	Gratitude and sanity (Preview) Today I am grateful for my sanity as I know it, work in progress that it is. I'm waist deep with the foo, and its great but there are definite aspects of certifiably insane, literally. Having said that, every generation brings a bit of hope. Makes me wonder how much of mental illness is a fear defense. ...	a4l	5	659	Jul 25, 2017 by a4l
	Hope for Today July 25i h (Preview) Good Morning Everyone- Today's reading is about the defense mechanisms we may learn having grown up or living with alcoholism. The writer specifically mentions how he/she learned to hide from his/her alcoholic parents. Over time the writer learned to hide in obvious ways, and more subtle, such...	yanksfan51	5	532	Jul 25, 2017 by PosiesandPuppies
	The frustration of things piling up that don't get finished! (Preview) I am someone who is a doer. I've always been one to get things done when they need to get done. I'm constantly cleaning the house, doing yardwork, running errands, paying bills. I rarely sit still for 5 minutes when H is at work because that's my time to get things done. Because when he's home he'll make ja...	Mapper	6	717	Jul 25, 2017 by Bo
	letting go (Preview) I'm new here and, I don't know, sort of new to life with an alcoholic/addict. 6 years now. To me it feels more and more like this is my life rather than a bump in the road. My husband of 23 years - someone I've been involved with since we were both in 8th grade (so 33 years now), is addicted to opiates. It st...	kayS	6	737	Jul 25, 2017 by Jerry F
	Feeling inadequate (Preview) I am new to this message though not new to the program. I have gone through so many changes in the last five years that were very necessary for my well being. I am in a safe place and doing okay. But I am having trouble with going to any meetings so this feels safe to me for right now. I work the program as b...	nobody7	13	793	Jul 24, 2017 by Iamhere
	7/24/17 ODAT Newcomer Greetings (Preview) Today's page considers the struggling newcomer to AlAnon, and suggests not overwhelming them further with a flood of advice. A warm welcome, some encouragement and reassurance is suggested. A newcomer's arrival can benefit all as it is an opportunity for them to find relief and hope, and for us to b...	Enigmatic	5	629	Jul 24, 2017 by Aline
	Managing time ,time management (Preview) Managing time,,time managementPermalink Reply Quote More Hello everybody,hope all is having a great weekend im working on how to manage my time, seems I spend way to much time on one thing when I should be spending my time elsewhere, if that makes sense,this is a everyday issue in my life,,I star...	lookingup	6	704	Jul 24, 2017 by mamalioness
	H spent the night at a party rather than come home with me. (Preview) We had a housewarming/anniversary party to go to this past weekend. It is a very good friend of my H. I was a little afraid of going because my H and his wife had a falling out a few years ago, but are now over it, but it was still awkward to go hang out with people who I haven't seen or talked to in over two years....	Mapper	13	815	Jul 24, 2017 by mamalioness
	Fellowship Prayers, Please (Preview) Some may remember and some may not but I have a cousin who lost her 18 YO son in a horrific car accident about 1.5 years ago. As I can only guess, and not imagine, she's not been the same since and has some severe depression, PTSD, grieving issues. I've been reaching out to her ever since inviting her to go t...	Iamhere	10	638	Jul 24, 2017 by andromeda
	I don't want to slam alcoholics anymore!!! (Preview) Ever since I got into recovery, I have slammed, cursed, wished death upon active alcoholics ALL because My mother was one of the worst kind...Instead of 30 pieces of silver, she sold me to my bio sire, HER husband for a quart of Seagram 7...That is all I was worth..."Trafficked" by my own bio mother...a...	mamalioness	16	891	Jul 24, 2017 by mamalioness
	ODAT READING 7-23-2017 (Preview) The ODAT reading for July 23 speaks about having "racing thoughts" and urges that we take time to examine their validity.. The reading suggests that many times these raising thoughts are so complex that it is difficult to reason them out, so that it is best if we not waste our time doing so. That we c...	hotrod	7	619	Jul 24, 2017 by mamalioness
	Mindfulness----a little trick i learned---use what you can, leave the rest (Preview) I have been, for my entire life, battling the "can't stay in the moment" issue...not being able to stay in the present....not in my body, et al, common and expected, actually, byproducts of severe child abuse and trauma...I had to dissociate from my mind/body for so long, it became a habit... my RX???...	mamalioness	19	843	Jul 23, 2017 by mamalioness
	ODAT READING 7-22 (Preview) ODAT Reading for July 22 speaks about trying to understand the disease of alcoholism. It points out that reading scientific books on the disease, unless we are professionals in the field, will give us no additional information because nothing will be gained by an in-depth study of the disease. It p...	hotrod	13	739	Jul 23, 2017 by mamalioness
	Coping with Depression in Al anon Recovery (Preview) Hi Everyone, I KNOW that HIGHER POWER is is in these boards and rooms and speaks through others. When I was in my 20s i was very depressed and someone told me about A l anon after hearing about my father and the alcoholism in my family. After 1 years in AL ANON the depression completely went away! I found...	Charlotte22	6	1164	Jul 23, 2017 by Bo
	Finding the roses in the manure (Preview) 2017 has been the year from hell and I could simmer in that and "woe is me" on that and make it WORSE if that is of my choosing, but I choose to find the roses amidst this "manure" ladened year Grateful for: I made my peace with my sister, on my own, reached out and forgave and established some sort of "OK" rela...	mamalioness	3	633	Jul 22, 2017 by hotrod
	Just for today (Preview) I am going to not figure out what might happen in my future, but look at the present moment and see the beauty in my surroundings. I am going to enjoy my visit with my sister and not think about what my AH might do! I am going to bring humor into my day like making laughing animal noises with my kids to not feel t...	LexieA	8	1341	Jul 22, 2017 by mamalioness
	Courage to Change (C2C) 7/21/17 (Preview) Today's reading is all about core Al-Anon - how we are powerless and can recover if we are willing to believe and trust a power greater than ourselves. The opening line - "The people I love won't take care of themselves, so I have to do it. How will they survive unless I ....." - that is often the thinking o...	Iamhere	6	615	Jul 21, 2017 by Iamhere
	I got some news today. (Preview) I hope nobody minds if I share this, I can't talk about it to anyone right now. My ex-husband just called me and he is getting paroled after spending 25 years in prison. It blew my mind when he told me. Where I live they have almost abolished parole and I was not expecting it. I have to wait for my son to get ho...	shrnp	11	844	Jul 21, 2017 by shrnp
	taking care of me (Preview) all the stresses since December have finally caught up with me...I felt myself going "south" for a while now......Real sick today!!! ...Was supposed to work today, but texted her and told her I was ill.... Yesterday, I am crying because I can't be mindful, racing fearful thoughts abound, doing my se...	mamalioness	10	823	Jul 21, 2017 by hotrod
	Letting Natural Consequences Occur (Preview) I am still struggling with letting natural consequences for decisions my wife makes play out. Luckily, HP has provided many opportunities for me to practice not rushing in and "saving" the day. Most recent from this morning: she was due to get off probation in the fall, and with no violations. Ho...	Skorpi	8	712	Jul 21, 2017 by hotrod
	Can I, should I exclude an alcoholic from a family gathering? (Preview) I am an ACOA, with many alcoholic family members. I don't drink. My husband drinks wine occasionally. I read with interest the thread where sponsors told people in Al- anon to " remove themselves from all things alcohol", because I have largely been doing this over the years. I also related to people w...	Mary99	29	1360	Jul 21, 2017 by KT2015
	Atheist trying another shot at al-anon ( 1 2 ) (Preview) I have gone to meetings in the past, but haven't stuck with it. I am just recently trying again. What I learned in my short attempts at attending meetings before was very helpful to me. I recently had an experience that showed me that I really do need more help in dealing with the alcoholism in my family. T...	uncreativename	51	2192	Jul 21, 2017 by 2HP
	I just can’t get over being affected by his moods! (Preview) H is so up and down all the time with his mood. Every day I hold my breath hoping he will come home happy from work. Some days a coworker or customer will really get to him and he will come home upset and snap and pretty much anything I say or do. Those nights are so long because I feel like Im walking on eggshell...	Mapper	8	746	Jul 21, 2017 by LexieA
	Courage to Change (C2C) 7/20/17 (Preview) Good morning MIP Family! Today's reading discusses change being inevitable and joy. Many of us rarely felt joy before recovery. The program often leads us to find it more frequently. For many, we become too busy trying to avoid change to enjoy the gifts we have for fear of loosing them. What we co...	Iamhere	5	693	Jul 20, 2017 by Iamhere
	new here my post (Preview) Hi everyone, I am new to this journey. My husband is an all day drinker (vodka martini & land shark) who retired last year which only gives him more time to drink. He has a history of anxiety and anger (neither of which he will admit). I am finally seeking help because I am tired of this life (20 year...	elrlagoon1996	8	675	Jul 20, 2017 by Aline
	Powerlessness .. and my part (Preview) Have I turned my will and life over to a power greater than myself? Hmm .. seems to be the question of the day .. acceptance. Acceptance of self as well as others. I spent yesterday afternoon trapped in a training I had originally been looking forward to and found it horribly awkward and uncomfortab...	SerenityRUS	5	688	Jul 20, 2017 by SerenityRUS
	7-19-17 ODAT (Preview) Today's author shared in wonderment how AlAnon interaction at a local level is a part of a worldwide group, that we are truly not alone. The ties that bind us are the positive experiences we have and share when we focus on the common goal of understanding the alcoholic and encouraging the relatives and...	Enigmatic	3	641	Jul 19, 2017 by Aline
	Starting over in life (Preview) As some of you remember, I have been separated from my AH for a week and a half, after I called the police after a domestic incident. It has been so painful to be ripped apart like this, even though I know it's for the best, we were together for 10 years, many of them great, and suddenly he has been ejected fro...	VickiR	14	827	Jul 19, 2017 by tiredtonite
	Round circle. (Preview) I had a lovely month with my mother. It was tiring and I had to breathe deeply at times, but we got through it and I'm glad. Time is not as long as I used to imagine it was. I'm glad I didn't throw the baby out with the bathwater. The kids had a great time, the girls love to talk and eat and there's just some thing...	a4l	8	700	Jul 19, 2017 by _bunny_
	Put the Focus on Me (Preview) Reading through some of the posts this morning on break and those are the words that keep popping out at me repeatedly. I appreciate this about Al Anon. That the program recognizes that I need this. That I should be focusing on myself and the shortcomings I can work on. Also, that I can stop the way I typic...	WestMan	17	932	Jul 19, 2017 by LexieA
	He cheated on me (Preview) My alcoholic boyfriend told me via Facebook last night that he's been cheating on me. His message was short & to the point and he refused to respond to any of my questions after that. I didn't sleep all night and haven't heard from him today. I am in so much pain. He's done a lot of shitty things to m...	SaraLin	10	744	Jul 19, 2017 by SerenityRUS
	In pain today (Preview) So after 8 or 9 weeks of sobriety, my A is going to resume her friendship with a married couple who drink too much. These people are like indigestion-they keep moving away and then moving back. I feel so disappointed and discouraged. It was hopeful and fun to think that we might have a different and be...	Lyne	11	764	Jul 19, 2017 by Iamhere
	Pity Party time (Preview) Sometimes I feel like I havent got a reason to complain if I hold my life against anothers. My A is not physically abusive, doesnt go to jail, doesnt wreck cars or lose jobs. He is 13 years older than I am, retired and spends almost all his time at home. He cooks dinner most nights while I work, he does the...	Bethany66	23	988	Jul 19, 2017 by LexieA
	7/12/17 C2C – Encouraging and Understanding the Alcoholic (Preview) Today's page reviews Tradition Five and our "...one purpose: to help families of alcoholics...by practicing the 12 Steps of AA ourselves, encouraging and understanding our alcoholic relatives, and by welcoming and giving comfort to families of alcoholics." The author found a way to focus on sel...	Enigmatic	10	727	Jul 19, 2017 by Lyne
	The Avatar (Preview) I was looking for an Avatar that kinda sorta demonstrated the alcoholic personality and there it was right in my back yard. I call this bird "Cockarooster" because he is soooo cocky starting his crowing early in the morning and trying to get the feral chickens in the neighborhood to gather around h...	Jerry F	26	777	Jul 19, 2017 by Jerry F
	Hope for Today July 18 (Preview) Good morning Everyone- Today's reading speaks to the relief of letting go of elf-pity and replacing it with a sense of humor. The writer describes being at a meeting where she is complaining about her husband and the situation they were in- someone else at the meeting laughs at what she is describing...	yanksfan51	6	753	Jul 18, 2017 by DavidG
	It's my right to say "no" (Preview) I feel like I'm taking on a bit too much recently, and to retrieve back some of my "me" time to focus on taking care of myself, I've been practicing saying "no" more often than normal. It's mainly just to small 5 to 10 minute requests from friends or family, such as picking up the mail while someones out tow...	_bunny_	4	1151	Jul 18, 2017 by Iamhere
	Trying to Cope once more (Preview) Hi I am new to forum but so need help and advice. Been with husband for long time and he has always been massively heavy drinker. Big personality and life and soul of everything. Doesn't want to drink at home but wants to be out til late most nights drinking maybe for up to 6 hours a day. We split once years...	Ruby456	2	591	Jul 18, 2017 by mamalioness
	'detachment with love' (Preview) I went to my first meeting last night and I am so glad I went. We were talking about detachment with love and I was wondering if you had some examples of what works for you and/or examples of things that you have done. I'm currently in this detachment state, but with anger and/or numbness and I would like t...	bzz123	23	1412	Jul 18, 2017 by Jerry F
	MONDAY EVENING AL-ANON MEETING IN PROGRESS 9PM EST (6PM PACIFIC) TOPICS: Self Esteem, Not self confidence. (Preview) JULY 17, 2017 MONDAY EVENING AL-ANON MEETING IN PROGRESS 9PM EST (6PM PACIFIC) TOPICS: Self Esteem, Not self confidence. The website link to the group meeting room is http://www.12stepforums.net/chatroom2.html. There are other ways to join the room also. Using mIRC or other chat client, th...	courage101	0	485	Jul 17, 2017 by courage101
	An Update - Not, perfect... Making Progress (Preview) Thank you everyone for coming together and creating this safe, supportive community. I am learning a lot, and I am feeling better. Releasing myself from attempts to control others and from the guilt of not being able to control others has in itself done so much for me. I feel more whole and more hopeful...	BreathingInAndOut	3	631	Jul 17, 2017 by a4l
	i know this isn't alanon, but HOLY MOLY!!! WHAT a MONSTER (Preview) We have had horrid rains here in TX....everyday it is raining..pools of water standing near a couple of areas around my house....bailing out puddles so the mosquitos don't have a breeding fest......its awful...every day, i rush out to play tennis before the now expected deluge comes...I have been...	mamalioness	11	818	Jul 17, 2017 by mamalioness
	7-17-17 C2C (Preview) Today's author became involved with the qualifiers' problems to the point of forgetting that happiness is possible regardless of what the drinker decides to do. After beginning recovery in AlAnon, the author heard that "youll have to make it whether the alcoholics do or not." Choosing to detach f...	Enigmatic	5	742	Jul 17, 2017 by tiredtonite
	Grateful for gratitude? (Preview) Al anon has given me the opportunity to develop some wonderful new perspectives on things that once seemed very black and white. One of these is the ability to enjoy the wonderful qualities people have, even when they might also be someone that I need to detach from in other ways. I see this as a great gif...	MissM	9	772	Jul 17, 2017 by Lyne
	I don't understand (Preview) I don't understand how a man can tell you he loves you in Oct, talk about living together, Nov starts drinking and pushes you away, by Dec on a binge then recovery for the 5 or 6 time. Comes out after 5 months while you've waited only to give you a typed letter saying the same excuses he stated in Nov that aren...	Parame	13	777	Jul 17, 2017 by Bo
	Fear (Preview) I've had the old head for a wee while. This feeling of dis-ease. Thinking it's the old fears creeping in. I've been having nightmares they are like horror movies blood and violence and death and I've had fear for my family. That old something bad is going to happen I can feel it type of thing. I hate that my...	el-cee	16	971	Jul 16, 2017 by Jerry F
	Advice Giving, AlAnon Principles/Traditions, and Group Unity ( 1 2 ) (Preview) In terms of what is "right" or "wrong" for us, what we "should" or "should not" do, or what is/is not "healthy", AlAnon is very clear: we seldom know that for ourselves, and never for others, be they new or experienced. That knowledge belongs to god or higher power alone. These pages provide some helpfu...	Enigmatic	58	5330	Jul 16, 2017 by hotrod
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.