Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

The author of today's page addressed the illusions that can limit serenity: The illusion that we can or should control others, and the illusion that the emptiness we feel inside can be filled with something outside of our self. AlAnon suggests that healing begins when we see what we need to heal withi...

Rakiaanan · Rakiaanan

i am really weak now , i keep forgiving my boyfriend drunk behavior . up and down . i can love him anymore

a4l · a4l

Today I am grateful for my sanity as I know it, work in progress that it is. I'm waist deep with the foo, and its great but there are definite aspects of certifiably insane, literally. Having said that, every generation brings a bit of hope. Makes me wonder how much of mental illness is a fear defense. ...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good Morning Everyone- Today's reading is about the defense mechanisms we may learn having grown up or living with alcoholism. The writer specifically mentions how he/she learned to hide from his/her alcoholic parents. Over time the writer learned to hide in obvious ways, and more subtle, such...

Mapper · Mapper

I am someone who is a doer. I've always been one to get things done when they need to get done. I'm constantly cleaning the house, doing yardwork, running errands, paying bills. I rarely sit still for 5 minutes when H is at work because that's my time to get things done. Because when he's home he'll make ja...

kayS · kayS

I'm new here and, I don't know, sort of new to life with an alcoholic/addict. 6 years now. To me it feels more and more like this is my life rather than a bump in the road. My husband of 23 years - someone I've been involved with since we were both in 8th grade (so 33 years now), is addicted to opiates. It st...

nobody7 · nobody7

I am new to this message though not new to the program. I have gone through so many changes in the last five years that were very necessary for my well being. I am in a safe place and doing okay. But I am having trouble with going to any meetings so this feels safe to me for right now. I work the program as b...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

Today's page considers the struggling newcomer to AlAnon, and suggests not overwhelming them further with a flood of advice. A warm welcome, some encouragement and reassurance is suggested. A newcomer's arrival can benefit all as it is an opportunity for them to find relief and hope, and for us to b...

lookingup · lookingup

Managing time,,time managementPermalink Reply Quote More Hello everybody,hope all is having a great weekend im working on how to manage my time, seems I spend way to much time on one thing when I should be spending my time elsewhere, if that makes sense,this is a everyday issue in my life,,I star...

Mapper · Mapper

We had a housewarming/anniversary party to go to this past weekend. It is a very good friend of my H. I was a little afraid of going because my H and his wife had a falling out a few years ago, but are now over it, but it was still awkward to go hang out with people who I haven't seen or talked to in over two years....

Iamhere · Iamhere

Some may remember and some may not but I have a cousin who lost her 18 YO son in a horrific car accident about 1.5 years ago. As I can only guess, and not imagine, she's not been the same since and has some severe depression, PTSD, grieving issues. I've been reaching out to her ever since inviting her to go t...

mamalioness · mamalioness

Ever since I got into recovery, I have slammed, cursed, wished death upon active alcoholics ALL because My mother was one of the worst kind...Instead of 30 pieces of silver, she sold me to my bio sire, HER husband for a quart of Seagram 7...That is all I was worth..."Trafficked" by my own bio mother...a...

hotrod · hotrod

The ODAT reading for July 23 speaks about having "racing thoughts" and urges that we take time to examine their validity.. The reading suggests that many times these raising thoughts are so complex that it is difficult to reason them out, so that it is best if we not waste our time doing so. That we c...

mamalioness · mamalioness

I have been, for my entire life, battling the "can't stay in the moment" issue...not being able to stay in the present....not in my body, et al, common and expected, actually, byproducts of severe child abuse and trauma...I had to dissociate from my mind/body for so long, it became a habit... my RX???...

hotrod · hotrod

ODAT Reading for July 22 speaks about trying to understand the disease of alcoholism. It points out that reading scientific books on the disease, unless we are professionals in the field, will give us no additional information because nothing will be gained by an in-depth study of the disease. It p...

Charlotte22 · Charlotte22

Hi Everyone, I KNOW that HIGHER POWER is is in these boards and rooms and speaks through others. When I was in my 20s i was very depressed and someone told me about A l anon after hearing about my father and the alcoholism in my family. After 1 years in AL ANON the depression completely went away! I found...

mamalioness · mamalioness

2017 has been the year from hell and I could simmer in that and "woe is me" on that and make it WORSE if that is of my choosing, but I choose to find the roses amidst this "manure" ladened year Grateful for: I made my peace with my sister, on my own, reached out and forgave and established some sort of "OK" rela...

LexieA · LexieA

I am going to not figure out what might happen in my future, but look at the present moment and see the beauty in my surroundings. I am going to enjoy my visit with my sister and not think about what my AH might do! I am going to bring humor into my day like making laughing animal noises with my kids to not feel t...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading is all about core Al-Anon - how we are powerless and can recover if we are willing to believe and trust a power greater than ourselves. The opening line - "The people I love won't take care of themselves, so I have to do it. How will they survive unless I ....." - that is often the thinking o...

shrnp · shrnp

I hope nobody minds if I share this, I can't talk about it to anyone right now. My ex-husband just called me and he is getting paroled after spending 25 years in prison. It blew my mind when he told me. Where I live they have almost abolished parole and I was not expecting it. I have to wait for my son to get ho...

mamalioness · mamalioness

all the stresses since December have finally caught up with me...I felt myself going "south" for a while now......Real sick today!!! ...Was supposed to work today, but texted her and told her I was ill.... Yesterday, I am crying because I can't be mindful, racing fearful thoughts abound, doing my se...

Skorpi · Skorpi

I am still struggling with letting natural consequences for decisions my wife makes play out. Luckily, HP has provided many opportunities for me to practice not rushing in and "saving" the day.

Most recent from this morning: she was due to get off probation in the fall, and with no violations. Ho...

Mary99 · Mary99

I am an ACOA, with many alcoholic family members. I don't drink. My husband drinks wine occasionally. I read with interest the thread where sponsors told people in Al- anon to " remove themselves from all things alcohol", because I have largely been doing this over the years. I also related to people w...

uncreativename · uncreativename

I have gone to meetings in the past, but haven't stuck with it. I am just recently trying again. What I learned in my short attempts at attending meetings before was very helpful to me. I recently had an experience that showed me that I really do need more help in dealing with the alcoholism in my family. T...

Mapper · Mapper

H is so up and down all the time with his mood. Every day I hold my breath hoping he will come home happy from work. Some days a coworker or customer will really get to him and he will come home upset and snap and pretty much anything I say or do. Those nights are so long because I feel like Im walking on eggshell...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Good morning MIP Family! Today's reading discusses change being inevitable and joy. Many of us rarely felt joy before recovery. The program often leads us to find it more frequently. For many, we become too busy trying to avoid change to enjoy the gifts we have for fear of loosing them. What we co...

elrlagoon1996 · elrlagoon1996

Hi everyone, I am new to this journey. My husband is an all day drinker (vodka martini & land shark) who retired last year which only gives him more time to drink. He has a history of anxiety and anger (neither of which he will admit). I am finally seeking help because I am tired of this life (20 year...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

Have I turned my will and life over to a power greater than myself? Hmm .. seems to be the question of the day .. acceptance. Acceptance of self as well as others. I spent yesterday afternoon trapped in a training I had originally been looking forward to and found it horribly awkward and uncomfortab...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

Today's author shared in wonderment how AlAnon interaction at a local level is a part of a worldwide group, that we are truly not alone. The ties that bind us are the positive experiences we have and share when we focus on the common goal of understanding the alcoholic and encouraging the relatives and...

VickiR · VickiR

As some of you remember, I have been separated from my AH for a week and a half, after I called the police after a domestic incident. It has been so painful to be ripped apart like this, even though I know it's for the best, we were together for 10 years, many of them great, and suddenly he has been ejected fro...

a4l · a4l

I had a lovely month with my mother. It was tiring and I had to breathe deeply at times, but we got through it and I'm glad. Time is not as long as I used to imagine it was. I'm glad I didn't throw the baby out with the bathwater. The kids had a great time, the girls love to talk and eat and there's just some thing...

WestMan · WestMan

Reading through some of the posts this morning on break and those are the words that keep popping out at me repeatedly. I appreciate this about Al Anon. That the program recognizes that I need this. That I should be focusing on myself and the shortcomings I can work on. Also, that I can stop the way I typic...

SaraLin · SaraLin

My alcoholic boyfriend told me via Facebook last night that he's been cheating on me. His message was short & to the point and he refused to respond to any of my questions after that. I didn't sleep all night and haven't heard from him today. I am in so much pain. He's done a lot of shitty things to m...

Lyne · Lyne

So after 8 or 9 weeks of sobriety, my A is going to resume her friendship with a married couple who drink too much. These people are like indigestion-they keep moving away and then moving back. I feel so disappointed and discouraged. It was hopeful and fun to think that we might have a different and be...

Bethany66 · Bethany66

Sometimes I feel like I havent got a reason to complain if I hold my life against anothers. My A is not physically abusive, doesnt go to jail, doesnt wreck cars or lose jobs. He is 13 years older than I am, retired and spends almost all his time at home. He cooks dinner most nights while I work, he does the...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

Today's page reviews Tradition Five and our "...one purpose: to help families of alcoholics...by practicing the 12 Steps of AA ourselves, encouraging and understanding our alcoholic relatives, and by welcoming and giving comfort to families of alcoholics." The author found a way to focus on sel...

Jerry F · Jerry F

I was looking for an Avatar that kinda sorta demonstrated the alcoholic personality and there it was right in my back yard. I call this bird "Cockarooster" because he is soooo cocky starting his crowing early in the morning and trying to get the feral chickens in the neighborhood to gather around h...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning Everyone- Today's reading speaks to the relief of letting go of elf-pity and replacing it with a sense of humor. The writer describes being at a meeting where she is complaining about her husband and the situation they were in- someone else at the meeting laughs at what she is describing...

_bunny_ · _bunny_

I feel like I'm taking on a bit too much recently, and to retrieve back some of my "me" time to focus on taking care of myself, I've been practicing saying "no" more often than normal. It's mainly just to small 5 to 10 minute requests from friends or family, such as picking up the mail while someones out tow...

Ruby456 · Ruby456

Hi I am new to forum but so need help and advice. Been with husband for long time and he has always been massively heavy drinker. Big personality and life and soul of everything. Doesn't want to drink at home but wants to be out til late most nights drinking maybe for up to 6 hours a day. We split once years...

bzz123 · bzz123

I went to my first meeting last night and I am so glad I went. We were talking about detachment with love and I was wondering if you had some examples of what works for you and/or examples of things that you have done. I'm currently in this detachment state, but with anger and/or numbness and I would like t...

courage101 · courage101

JULY 17, 2017 MONDAY EVENING AL-ANON MEETING IN PROGRESS 9PM EST (6PM PACIFIC) TOPICS: Self Esteem, Not self confidence. The website link to the group meeting room is http://www.12stepforums.net/chatroom2.html. There are other ways to join the room also. Using mIRC or other chat client, th...

BreathingInAndOut · BreathingInAndOut

Thank you everyone for coming together and creating this safe, supportive community. I am learning a lot, and I am feeling better. Releasing myself from attempts to control others and from the guilt of not being able to control others has in itself done so much for me. I feel more whole and more hopeful...

mamalioness · mamalioness

We have had horrid rains here in TX....everyday it is raining..pools of water standing near a couple of areas around my house....bailing out puddles so the mosquitos don't have a breeding fest......its awful...every day, i rush out to play tennis before the now expected deluge comes...I have been...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

Today's author became involved with the qualifiers' problems to the point of forgetting that happiness is possible regardless of what the drinker decides to do. After beginning recovery in AlAnon, the author heard that "youll have to make it whether the alcoholics do or not." Choosing to detach f...

MissM · MissM

Al anon has given me the opportunity to develop some wonderful new perspectives on things that once seemed very black and white. One of these is the ability to enjoy the wonderful qualities people have, even when they might also be someone that I need to detach from in other ways. I see this as a great gif...

Parame · Parame

I don't understand how a man can tell you he loves you in Oct, talk about living together, Nov starts drinking and pushes you away, by Dec on a binge then recovery for the 5 or 6 time. Comes out after 5 months while you've waited only to give you a typed letter saying the same excuses he stated in Nov that aren...

el-cee · el-cee

I've had the old head for a wee while. This feeling of dis-ease. Thinking it's the old fears creeping in. I've been having nightmares they are like horror movies blood and violence and death and I've had fear for my family. That old something bad is going to happen I can feel it type of thing. I hate that my...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

In terms of what is "right" or "wrong" for us, what we "should" or "should not" do, or what is/is not "healthy", AlAnon is very clear: we seldom know that for ourselves, and never for others, be they new or experienced. That knowledge belongs to god or higher power alone. These pages provide some helpfu...

hotrod · hotrod

Learn How The Twelve Steps Work.Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by being active on this board as we go through the 12 Steps of recovery together!Step 11 has been posted to the Step Work Board, Here is the link:http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t63751346/alanon-...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

I have got to remember that every day is not going to be awful and every day is not going to be awesome .. LOL .. no matter what I can start my day over at my choosing. If I can avoid eating people verbally when they find my last nerve .. priceless .. sigh. Thanks for letting me share :)

hotrod · hotrod

The ODAT Reading for today, Sunday 7-16 , speaks about the word"Immaturity". It points out that many of us speak of the alcoholic as being "immature" and childish. but that we too are just as immature and that is why we selected an alcoholic as a partner-- It is like a "child calling to a child". The sug...

courage101 · courage101

JULY 16, 2017 SUNDAY MORNING AL-ANON MEETING IN PROGRESS 10AM EST (7AM PACIFIC) TOPICS: Rejection, Real or Imagined? The website link to the group meeting room is http://www.12stepforums.net/chatroom2.html. There are other ways to join the room also. Using mIRC or other chat client, the ser...

unbroken13 · unbroken13

Good Morning, I know it has been a long time since I have posted here. There has been so much going on it would make anyone's head spin. One good thing has come out of it though, my AH is 24 days sober. Of course this is after he shot a hole in the wall and went to a neighbor and asked her if she wanted to (in his wo...

courage101 · courage101

JULY 15, 2017 SATURDAY EVENING AL-ANON MEETING IN PROGRESS 9PM EST (6PM PACIFIC) TOPICS: Powerless, Surrender to win. The website link to the group meeting room is http://www.12stepforums.net/chatroom2.html. There are other ways to join the room also. Using mIRC or other chat client, the s...

WestMan · WestMan

I haven't seen this come up on here so I hope I'm not breaking the rules. I'll keep it clean. My AW came to bed and wanted to be intimate. Internally I was a bit hesitant but that didn't last long and we went ahead and had sex. I didn't realize until we were well into it that she had almost certainly been drink...

DavidG · DavidG

P. 267. This chapter begins by talking about ambivalence. "In our young lives love and fear were as intimately blended as with scotch and soda." Family life was a rollercoaster ride. Through young innocent eyes this was our normal- this was our world as we knew it. "We learned to deny,minimise, exagg...

Aline · Aline

Hiya, doing some more thinking :D Wanted to share. I realized after a very recent crazy episode that I've been kind of (not sure what to call it) forcing myself into recovery. Like, I've been intellectually getting ahead of myself in the stage of recovery I'm currently at, thinking if I know and unders...

courage101 · courage101

JULY 15, 2017 SATURDAY MORNING AL-ANON MEETING IN PROGRESS 10AM EST (7AM PACIFIC) TOPICS: Powerless, Surrender to win. The website link to the group meeting room is http://www.12stepforums.net/chatroom2.html. There are other ways to join the room also. Using mIRC or other chat client, the...

MissM · MissM

Today's C2C speaks about allowing people to work their program in their own way and time. It suggests that each of us work al-anon in the way that is right for us and some people may take longer to find their way than others, and that is just fine. It suggests that even if we feel frustrated when someone is r...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	7-26-17 C2C - Illusion of Control (Preview) The author of today's page addressed the illusions that can limit serenity: The illusion that we can or should control others, and the illusion that the emptiness we feel inside can be filled with something outside of our self. AlAnon suggests that healing begins when we see what we need to heal withi...	Enigmatic	3	623	Jul 26, 2017 by Lyne
	hi i want some support (Preview) i am really weak now , i keep forgiving my boyfriend drunk behavior . up and down . i can love him anymore	Rakiaanan	29	1021	Jul 26, 2017 by Aline
	Gratitude and sanity (Preview) Today I am grateful for my sanity as I know it, work in progress that it is. I'm waist deep with the foo, and its great but there are definite aspects of certifiably insane, literally. Having said that, every generation brings a bit of hope. Makes me wonder how much of mental illness is a fear defense. ...	a4l	5	628	Jul 25, 2017 by a4l
	Hope for Today July 25i h (Preview) Good Morning Everyone- Today's reading is about the defense mechanisms we may learn having grown up or living with alcoholism. The writer specifically mentions how he/she learned to hide from his/her alcoholic parents. Over time the writer learned to hide in obvious ways, and more subtle, such...	yanksfan51	5	504	Jul 25, 2017 by PosiesandPuppies
	The frustration of things piling up that don't get finished! (Preview) I am someone who is a doer. I've always been one to get things done when they need to get done. I'm constantly cleaning the house, doing yardwork, running errands, paying bills. I rarely sit still for 5 minutes when H is at work because that's my time to get things done. Because when he's home he'll make ja...	Mapper	6	686	Jul 25, 2017 by Bo
	letting go (Preview) I'm new here and, I don't know, sort of new to life with an alcoholic/addict. 6 years now. To me it feels more and more like this is my life rather than a bump in the road. My husband of 23 years - someone I've been involved with since we were both in 8th grade (so 33 years now), is addicted to opiates. It st...	kayS	6	701	Jul 25, 2017 by Jerry F
	Feeling inadequate (Preview) I am new to this message though not new to the program. I have gone through so many changes in the last five years that were very necessary for my well being. I am in a safe place and doing okay. But I am having trouble with going to any meetings so this feels safe to me for right now. I work the program as b...	nobody7	13	747	Jul 24, 2017 by Iamhere
	7/24/17 ODAT Newcomer Greetings (Preview) Today's page considers the struggling newcomer to AlAnon, and suggests not overwhelming them further with a flood of advice. A warm welcome, some encouragement and reassurance is suggested. A newcomer's arrival can benefit all as it is an opportunity for them to find relief and hope, and for us to b...	Enigmatic	5	598	Jul 24, 2017 by Aline
	Managing time ,time management (Preview) Managing time,,time managementPermalink Reply Quote More Hello everybody,hope all is having a great weekend im working on how to manage my time, seems I spend way to much time on one thing when I should be spending my time elsewhere, if that makes sense,this is a everyday issue in my life,,I star...	lookingup	6	667	Jul 24, 2017 by mamalioness
	H spent the night at a party rather than come home with me. (Preview) We had a housewarming/anniversary party to go to this past weekend. It is a very good friend of my H. I was a little afraid of going because my H and his wife had a falling out a few years ago, but are now over it, but it was still awkward to go hang out with people who I haven't seen or talked to in over two years....	Mapper	13	780	Jul 24, 2017 by mamalioness
	Fellowship Prayers, Please (Preview) Some may remember and some may not but I have a cousin who lost her 18 YO son in a horrific car accident about 1.5 years ago. As I can only guess, and not imagine, she's not been the same since and has some severe depression, PTSD, grieving issues. I've been reaching out to her ever since inviting her to go t...	Iamhere	10	602	Jul 24, 2017 by andromeda
	I don't want to slam alcoholics anymore!!! (Preview) Ever since I got into recovery, I have slammed, cursed, wished death upon active alcoholics ALL because My mother was one of the worst kind...Instead of 30 pieces of silver, she sold me to my bio sire, HER husband for a quart of Seagram 7...That is all I was worth..."Trafficked" by my own bio mother...a...	mamalioness	16	853	Jul 24, 2017 by mamalioness
	ODAT READING 7-23-2017 (Preview) The ODAT reading for July 23 speaks about having "racing thoughts" and urges that we take time to examine their validity.. The reading suggests that many times these raising thoughts are so complex that it is difficult to reason them out, so that it is best if we not waste our time doing so. That we c...	hotrod	7	593	Jul 24, 2017 by mamalioness
	Mindfulness----a little trick i learned---use what you can, leave the rest (Preview) I have been, for my entire life, battling the "can't stay in the moment" issue...not being able to stay in the present....not in my body, et al, common and expected, actually, byproducts of severe child abuse and trauma...I had to dissociate from my mind/body for so long, it became a habit... my RX???...	mamalioness	19	811	Jul 23, 2017 by mamalioness
	ODAT READING 7-22 (Preview) ODAT Reading for July 22 speaks about trying to understand the disease of alcoholism. It points out that reading scientific books on the disease, unless we are professionals in the field, will give us no additional information because nothing will be gained by an in-depth study of the disease. It p...	hotrod	13	705	Jul 23, 2017 by mamalioness
	Coping with Depression in Al anon Recovery (Preview) Hi Everyone, I KNOW that HIGHER POWER is is in these boards and rooms and speaks through others. When I was in my 20s i was very depressed and someone told me about A l anon after hearing about my father and the alcoholism in my family. After 1 years in AL ANON the depression completely went away! I found...	Charlotte22	6	1114	Jul 23, 2017 by Bo
	Finding the roses in the manure (Preview) 2017 has been the year from hell and I could simmer in that and "woe is me" on that and make it WORSE if that is of my choosing, but I choose to find the roses amidst this "manure" ladened year Grateful for: I made my peace with my sister, on my own, reached out and forgave and established some sort of "OK" rela...	mamalioness	3	600	Jul 22, 2017 by hotrod
	Just for today (Preview) I am going to not figure out what might happen in my future, but look at the present moment and see the beauty in my surroundings. I am going to enjoy my visit with my sister and not think about what my AH might do! I am going to bring humor into my day like making laughing animal noises with my kids to not feel t...	LexieA	8	1276	Jul 22, 2017 by mamalioness
	Courage to Change (C2C) 7/21/17 (Preview) Today's reading is all about core Al-Anon - how we are powerless and can recover if we are willing to believe and trust a power greater than ourselves. The opening line - "The people I love won't take care of themselves, so I have to do it. How will they survive unless I ....." - that is often the thinking o...	Iamhere	6	583	Jul 21, 2017 by Iamhere
	I got some news today. (Preview) I hope nobody minds if I share this, I can't talk about it to anyone right now. My ex-husband just called me and he is getting paroled after spending 25 years in prison. It blew my mind when he told me. Where I live they have almost abolished parole and I was not expecting it. I have to wait for my son to get ho...	shrnp	11	810	Jul 21, 2017 by shrnp
	taking care of me (Preview) all the stresses since December have finally caught up with me...I felt myself going "south" for a while now......Real sick today!!! ...Was supposed to work today, but texted her and told her I was ill.... Yesterday, I am crying because I can't be mindful, racing fearful thoughts abound, doing my se...	mamalioness	10	786	Jul 21, 2017 by hotrod
	Letting Natural Consequences Occur (Preview) I am still struggling with letting natural consequences for decisions my wife makes play out. Luckily, HP has provided many opportunities for me to practice not rushing in and "saving" the day. Most recent from this morning: she was due to get off probation in the fall, and with no violations. Ho...	Skorpi	8	676	Jul 21, 2017 by hotrod
	Can I, should I exclude an alcoholic from a family gathering? (Preview) I am an ACOA, with many alcoholic family members. I don't drink. My husband drinks wine occasionally. I read with interest the thread where sponsors told people in Al- anon to " remove themselves from all things alcohol", because I have largely been doing this over the years. I also related to people w...	Mary99	29	1319	Jul 21, 2017 by KT2015
	Atheist trying another shot at al-anon ( 1 2 ) (Preview) I have gone to meetings in the past, but haven't stuck with it. I am just recently trying again. What I learned in my short attempts at attending meetings before was very helpful to me. I recently had an experience that showed me that I really do need more help in dealing with the alcoholism in my family. T...	uncreativename	51	2100	Jul 21, 2017 by 2HP
	I just can’t get over being affected by his moods! (Preview) H is so up and down all the time with his mood. Every day I hold my breath hoping he will come home happy from work. Some days a coworker or customer will really get to him and he will come home upset and snap and pretty much anything I say or do. Those nights are so long because I feel like Im walking on eggshell...	Mapper	8	714	Jul 21, 2017 by LexieA
	Courage to Change (C2C) 7/20/17 (Preview) Good morning MIP Family! Today's reading discusses change being inevitable and joy. Many of us rarely felt joy before recovery. The program often leads us to find it more frequently. For many, we become too busy trying to avoid change to enjoy the gifts we have for fear of loosing them. What we co...	Iamhere	5	657	Jul 20, 2017 by Iamhere
	new here my post (Preview) Hi everyone, I am new to this journey. My husband is an all day drinker (vodka martini & land shark) who retired last year which only gives him more time to drink. He has a history of anxiety and anger (neither of which he will admit). I am finally seeking help because I am tired of this life (20 year...	elrlagoon1996	8	634	Jul 20, 2017 by Aline
	Powerlessness .. and my part (Preview) Have I turned my will and life over to a power greater than myself? Hmm .. seems to be the question of the day .. acceptance. Acceptance of self as well as others. I spent yesterday afternoon trapped in a training I had originally been looking forward to and found it horribly awkward and uncomfortab...	SerenityRUS	5	653	Jul 20, 2017 by SerenityRUS
	7-19-17 ODAT (Preview) Today's author shared in wonderment how AlAnon interaction at a local level is a part of a worldwide group, that we are truly not alone. The ties that bind us are the positive experiences we have and share when we focus on the common goal of understanding the alcoholic and encouraging the relatives and...	Enigmatic	3	605	Jul 19, 2017 by Aline
	Starting over in life (Preview) As some of you remember, I have been separated from my AH for a week and a half, after I called the police after a domestic incident. It has been so painful to be ripped apart like this, even though I know it's for the best, we were together for 10 years, many of them great, and suddenly he has been ejected fro...	VickiR	14	793	Jul 19, 2017 by tiredtonite
	Round circle. (Preview) I had a lovely month with my mother. It was tiring and I had to breathe deeply at times, but we got through it and I'm glad. Time is not as long as I used to imagine it was. I'm glad I didn't throw the baby out with the bathwater. The kids had a great time, the girls love to talk and eat and there's just some thing...	a4l	8	656	Jul 19, 2017 by _bunny_
	Put the Focus on Me (Preview) Reading through some of the posts this morning on break and those are the words that keep popping out at me repeatedly. I appreciate this about Al Anon. That the program recognizes that I need this. That I should be focusing on myself and the shortcomings I can work on. Also, that I can stop the way I typic...	WestMan	17	896	Jul 19, 2017 by LexieA
	He cheated on me (Preview) My alcoholic boyfriend told me via Facebook last night that he's been cheating on me. His message was short & to the point and he refused to respond to any of my questions after that. I didn't sleep all night and haven't heard from him today. I am in so much pain. He's done a lot of shitty things to m...	SaraLin	10	706	Jul 19, 2017 by SerenityRUS
	In pain today (Preview) So after 8 or 9 weeks of sobriety, my A is going to resume her friendship with a married couple who drink too much. These people are like indigestion-they keep moving away and then moving back. I feel so disappointed and discouraged. It was hopeful and fun to think that we might have a different and be...	Lyne	11	731	Jul 19, 2017 by Iamhere
	Pity Party time (Preview) Sometimes I feel like I havent got a reason to complain if I hold my life against anothers. My A is not physically abusive, doesnt go to jail, doesnt wreck cars or lose jobs. He is 13 years older than I am, retired and spends almost all his time at home. He cooks dinner most nights while I work, he does the...	Bethany66	23	946	Jul 19, 2017 by LexieA
	7/12/17 C2C – Encouraging and Understanding the Alcoholic (Preview) Today's page reviews Tradition Five and our "...one purpose: to help families of alcoholics...by practicing the 12 Steps of AA ourselves, encouraging and understanding our alcoholic relatives, and by welcoming and giving comfort to families of alcoholics." The author found a way to focus on sel...	Enigmatic	10	692	Jul 19, 2017 by Lyne
	The Avatar (Preview) I was looking for an Avatar that kinda sorta demonstrated the alcoholic personality and there it was right in my back yard. I call this bird "Cockarooster" because he is soooo cocky starting his crowing early in the morning and trying to get the feral chickens in the neighborhood to gather around h...	Jerry F	26	728	Jul 19, 2017 by Jerry F
	Hope for Today July 18 (Preview) Good morning Everyone- Today's reading speaks to the relief of letting go of elf-pity and replacing it with a sense of humor. The writer describes being at a meeting where she is complaining about her husband and the situation they were in- someone else at the meeting laughs at what she is describing...	yanksfan51	6	717	Jul 18, 2017 by DavidG
	It's my right to say "no" (Preview) I feel like I'm taking on a bit too much recently, and to retrieve back some of my "me" time to focus on taking care of myself, I've been practicing saying "no" more often than normal. It's mainly just to small 5 to 10 minute requests from friends or family, such as picking up the mail while someones out tow...	_bunny_	4	1104	Jul 18, 2017 by Iamhere
	Trying to Cope once more (Preview) Hi I am new to forum but so need help and advice. Been with husband for long time and he has always been massively heavy drinker. Big personality and life and soul of everything. Doesn't want to drink at home but wants to be out til late most nights drinking maybe for up to 6 hours a day. We split once years...	Ruby456	2	557	Jul 18, 2017 by mamalioness
	'detachment with love' (Preview) I went to my first meeting last night and I am so glad I went. We were talking about detachment with love and I was wondering if you had some examples of what works for you and/or examples of things that you have done. I'm currently in this detachment state, but with anger and/or numbness and I would like t...	bzz123	23	1330	Jul 18, 2017 by Jerry F
	MONDAY EVENING AL-ANON MEETING IN PROGRESS 9PM EST (6PM PACIFIC) TOPICS: Self Esteem, Not self confidence. (Preview) JULY 17, 2017 MONDAY EVENING AL-ANON MEETING IN PROGRESS 9PM EST (6PM PACIFIC) TOPICS: Self Esteem, Not self confidence. The website link to the group meeting room is http://www.12stepforums.net/chatroom2.html. There are other ways to join the room also. Using mIRC or other chat client, th...	courage101	0	453	Jul 17, 2017 by courage101
	An Update - Not, perfect... Making Progress (Preview) Thank you everyone for coming together and creating this safe, supportive community. I am learning a lot, and I am feeling better. Releasing myself from attempts to control others and from the guilt of not being able to control others has in itself done so much for me. I feel more whole and more hopeful...	BreathingInAndOut	3	596	Jul 17, 2017 by a4l
	i know this isn't alanon, but HOLY MOLY!!! WHAT a MONSTER (Preview) We have had horrid rains here in TX....everyday it is raining..pools of water standing near a couple of areas around my house....bailing out puddles so the mosquitos don't have a breeding fest......its awful...every day, i rush out to play tennis before the now expected deluge comes...I have been...	mamalioness	11	782	Jul 17, 2017 by mamalioness
	7-17-17 C2C (Preview) Today's author became involved with the qualifiers' problems to the point of forgetting that happiness is possible regardless of what the drinker decides to do. After beginning recovery in AlAnon, the author heard that "youll have to make it whether the alcoholics do or not." Choosing to detach f...	Enigmatic	5	699	Jul 17, 2017 by tiredtonite
	Grateful for gratitude? (Preview) Al anon has given me the opportunity to develop some wonderful new perspectives on things that once seemed very black and white. One of these is the ability to enjoy the wonderful qualities people have, even when they might also be someone that I need to detach from in other ways. I see this as a great gif...	MissM	9	721	Jul 17, 2017 by Lyne
	I don't understand (Preview) I don't understand how a man can tell you he loves you in Oct, talk about living together, Nov starts drinking and pushes you away, by Dec on a binge then recovery for the 5 or 6 time. Comes out after 5 months while you've waited only to give you a typed letter saying the same excuses he stated in Nov that aren...	Parame	13	728	Jul 17, 2017 by Bo
	Fear (Preview) I've had the old head for a wee while. This feeling of dis-ease. Thinking it's the old fears creeping in. I've been having nightmares they are like horror movies blood and violence and death and I've had fear for my family. That old something bad is going to happen I can feel it type of thing. I hate that my...	el-cee	16	933	Jul 16, 2017 by Jerry F
	Advice Giving, AlAnon Principles/Traditions, and Group Unity ( 1 2 ) (Preview) In terms of what is "right" or "wrong" for us, what we "should" or "should not" do, or what is/is not "healthy", AlAnon is very clear: we seldom know that for ourselves, and never for others, be they new or experienced. That knowledge belongs to god or higher power alone. These pages provide some helpfu...	Enigmatic	58	4918	Jul 16, 2017 by hotrod
	Step 11 posted (Preview) Learn How The Twelve Steps Work.Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by being active on this board as we go through the 12 Steps of recovery together!Step 11 has been posted to the Step Work Board, Here is the link:http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t63751346/alanon-...	hotrod	0	533	Jul 16, 2017 by hotrod
	Starting My Day Over .. (Preview) I have got to remember that every day is not going to be awful and every day is not going to be awesome .. LOL .. no matter what I can start my day over at my choosing. If I can avoid eating people verbally when they find my last nerve .. priceless .. sigh. Thanks for letting me share :)	SerenityRUS	7	730	Jul 16, 2017 by Jerry F
	ODAT Reading 7-16-2017 (Preview) The ODAT Reading for today, Sunday 7-16 , speaks about the word"Immaturity". It points out that many of us speak of the alcoholic as being "immature" and childish. but that we too are just as immature and that is why we selected an alcoholic as a partner-- It is like a "child calling to a child". The sug...	hotrod	5	637	Jul 16, 2017 by mamalioness
	SUNDAY MORNING AL-ANON MEETING IN PROGRESS 10AM EST (7AM PACIFIC) TOPICS: Rejection, Real or Imagined? (Preview) JULY 16, 2017 SUNDAY MORNING AL-ANON MEETING IN PROGRESS 10AM EST (7AM PACIFIC) TOPICS: Rejection, Real or Imagined? The website link to the group meeting room is http://www.12stepforums.net/chatroom2.html. There are other ways to join the room also. Using mIRC or other chat client, the ser...	courage101	0	521	Jul 16, 2017 by courage101
	Long Time (Preview) Good Morning, I know it has been a long time since I have posted here. There has been so much going on it would make anyone's head spin. One good thing has come out of it though, my AH is 24 days sober. Of course this is after he shot a hole in the wall and went to a neighbor and asked her if she wanted to (in his wo...	unbroken13	7	770	Jul 15, 2017 by Kmt
	SATURDAY EVENING AL-ANON MEETING IN PROGRESS 9PM EST (6PM PACIFIC) TOPICS: Powerless, Surrender to win. (Preview) JULY 15, 2017 SATURDAY EVENING AL-ANON MEETING IN PROGRESS 9PM EST (6PM PACIFIC) TOPICS: Powerless, Surrender to win. The website link to the group meeting room is http://www.12stepforums.net/chatroom2.html. There are other ways to join the room also. Using mIRC or other chat client, the s...	courage101	0	562	Jul 15, 2017 by courage101
	Not sure what this means (sex) (Preview) I haven't seen this come up on here so I hope I'm not breaking the rules. I'll keep it clean. My AW came to bed and wanted to be intimate. Internally I was a bit hesitant but that didn't last long and we went ahead and had sex. I didn't realize until we were well into it that she had almost certainly been drink...	WestMan	18	880	Jul 15, 2017 by Iamhere
	A reading from "From Survival To Recovery". (Preview) P. 267. This chapter begins by talking about ambivalence. "In our young lives love and fear were as intimately blended as with scotch and soda." Family life was a rollercoaster ride. Through young innocent eyes this was our normal- this was our world as we knew it. "We learned to deny,minimise, exagg...	DavidG	13	1824	Jul 15, 2017 by Iamhere
	Progress not perfection (Preview) Hiya, doing some more thinking :D Wanted to share. I realized after a very recent crazy episode that I've been kind of (not sure what to call it) forcing myself into recovery. Like, I've been intellectually getting ahead of myself in the stage of recovery I'm currently at, thinking if I know and unders...	Aline	8	761	Jul 15, 2017 by mamalioness
	SATURDAY MORNING AL-ANON MEETING IN PROGRESS 10AM EST (7AM PACIFIC) TOPICS: Powerless, Surrender to win. (Preview) JULY 15, 2017 SATURDAY MORNING AL-ANON MEETING IN PROGRESS 10AM EST (7AM PACIFIC) TOPICS: Powerless, Surrender to win. The website link to the group meeting room is http://www.12stepforums.net/chatroom2.html. There are other ways to join the room also. Using mIRC or other chat client, the...	courage101	1	590	Jul 15, 2017 by hotrod
	Courage To Change 15/7 (Preview) Today's C2C speaks about allowing people to work their program in their own way and time. It suggests that each of us work al-anon in the way that is right for us and some people may take longer to find their way than others, and that is just fine. It suggests that even if we feel frustrated when someone is r...	MissM	4	591	Jul 15, 2017 by hotrod
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.