The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Today's reading is about the gentleness of our program. Specifically the writer mentions that in his/her recovery there was a realization that when acceptance or someone caring for him/her was felt, there was a type of pain associated with the pleasure. There was difficulty in accepting simply feeling good.
The writer suggests that taking small steps was helpful-limiting physical contact, leaving meetings early if necessary, sharing thoughts with sponsor. This reading makes me consider how change-- even when necessary and overall positive, is difficult and can feel painful. When we are in the process of change (losing weight, changing jobs, a change in relationship) -- we may feel the pain of it profoundly. I know there have been and will be moments of profound pain in recovery-- and I have learned for myself to recognize these as signs of change.
The writer mentions our slogan 'Easy Does It'. It's one of my favorites because it encompasses so much. I will think about that one today and work on it- in small, gentle steps.
I hope we all feel the wonder of our program today! Have a great Tuesday-
Thanks Mary for the reminder of how to treat oneself. As I was taught self-loathing and harsh criticism, it has not been an easy journey to like/love and care about myself. In fact, it's taken a lifetime, ODAT, with improved progress since program. Self-destruction is a difficult habit to break, and living with an active alcoholic is like the icing on the cake. But I've learned I don't have to stay broken, and with daily attention to Alanon, I am making progress. Of course, not perfection, but I no longer see that as my standard to live by. What a relief that is! So today I will be mindful of Easy Does It, Lyne
Happy Tuesday Mary - thank you for your service, the daily and your ESH. I love Easy Does It - mostly because it's so contrary to my personal style before recovery. I was a steamroller - hard on myself as well as others. I could bark orders and give advice that, if only followed, would surely result in a much better life for others! What I learned when I came to recovery is that each moment I focused beyond myself, whether my focus (obsession) was on my qualifier, a friend, another -- I was cheating myself out of growth, development and change.
I had to learn how to live in a healthy way and be a healthy person before I was of service to others. Each business meeting we have at my home group, we discuss being gentle in our group. We believe that most who enter the rooms have not been heard in a long while, or if they did find courage to speak up at home were belittled for their feelings or even just ordered how to move forward.
It is in Al-Anon that I learned the use of I statements is much gentler than using You statements. Using I statements helps me mentally keep the focus on me even when there is chaos around and really teaches me how to be giving and of service without forcing my ideas down another's throat.
When forced, I will always choose happiness over being right. I work recovery for my own sanity/health and knowing change is inevitable, arm myself daily with the tools of recovery to help me get through it with grace and dignity!
Another hot, hot day in my area - working to stay cool and hydrated....make it a great day all!
__________________
Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Good Morning Mary, Lyne and IAH Thanks for the powerful shares on this important subject. I too have found that change, even for my own good is sometimes painful so that I need to take it slow and be gentle with myself. Staying stuck in the pain was comfortable and familiar. I can remember leaving an alanon meeting early, even though I felt supported and understood, however I did not want to interact with the other members as it was too frightening. It is good that alanon is a gentle program, as it is evident that program does so understand our disease.Progress not perfection is the goal Thanks for your service.
-- Edited by Iamhere on Sunday 31st of January 2021 01:06:00 PM
Good afternoon Mary, thank you for Today's Reminder to be gentle with ourselves and thank you for ESH everyone. I too feel growing pains when experiencing change. I still have a difficult time maintaining healthy care of myself without deliberately concentrating about it. I will go for a period of time, getting proper sleep, eating right, exercising and having a relaxing period. Then I slip and have to start again. Don't know why it is so difficult to be kind to myself as just routine since I do feel better when I do. Easy does it helps a lot and so does progress not perfection. Just finished my afternoon walk with my pup and oh my goodness it's hot and humid out there. Hope tonight's walk will be a bit cooler :)
-- Edited by Stan1 on Tuesday 11th of July 2017 01:09:12 PM
