Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

nmike · nmike

Well, I was snowed in for 3 days and I will try to make it to town today. I need more medication for my pre-cancerous cells. The treatment is bearable and I feel very good about taking care of this. My A although sober for a long time has such walls up that it is so hard to talk to him about anything. Everything...

leesa123 · leesa123

hi i would like to find a sponsor. i'm australian but am doing a phd in switzerland. i'm a 34 year old female. i'd appreciate it if somebody could help me

thank you leesa

Powerless · Powerless

My husband and I had a long, honest talk yesterday and I was able to express my anger at his addiction (making sure he knew i was distinguishing between him and it) and my pain and fear for him. I told him that with all of the cocaine he is liable to have a heart attack inhis truck one day and I dread the d...

Barbara · Barbara

and some let it be up to the sponsee as to how often they get in touch? Do some leave it up to the sponsee on how they are going to work the program? Id like to hear about the different sponsor experiences - thank you

Barbara · Barbara

Im finding reading the Conference Approved Literature is a hugh part of my recovery. Anyone else think this too? That and speaking up at meetings.

Juster · Juster

This is my first post. I have been visiting this site frequently before signing up. Just reading about everyone's experiences has helped me a lot. I see that I am not alone and that the problems I have are very similar to many of yours. I have an AW who is a beautiful person in ev...

Nshala · Nshala

OK, I am hoping that someone will give me some ideas of what to do with myself. I called my friend yesterday. And, he hasn't called back. I just get so worried. I know, logically, there is no reason to worry--that he can take care of himself (or at least should). And, I also know...

Barbara · Barbara

Can I myself get in trouble if I reach out and send a hang in there email?

Barbara · Barbara

"Detaching myself from a person with the flu protects me from catching the illness. Emotionally detaching from alcoholism increases the likelihood that I wont catch an overabundance of anger and anxiety."

kismetstrand · kismetstrand

SIMPLE MATH >From a strictly mathematical viewpoint: What Equals 100%? What does it mean to give MORE than 100%? Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%? We have all been in situations where someone wants you to give over 100%. How about achieving 101%? What equals 100...

Jeannie · Jeannie

Sorry I haven't posted. I was down with the flue and so where a bunch of the kids. It really walloped our household. I have been going form work to bed and back to work. Doing not much of anything else. I feel much better, just drained. The kids who where well took turns helping out and doing whatever shop...

Lunamoth · Lunamoth

" I really struggled with the process of finding a sponsor. I felt as if I were asking somone to be my friend. If I had to ask then I didn't really need that kind of friend. However, what I yearned for was somone with whom I could talk deeply and who would receive my confidences with resp...

busybee1206 · busybee1206

Hi, Im new to the forum. I was wondering if this type of group deals with families of a marijuana user? If not, do you know of one? I could really use the help. I'm married to a pot smoker. Thanks

TLC2 · TLC2

I see you haven't posted for awhile, and can't help but worry about you.I know a lot of us tend to crawl into our shells when things get too much. I hope you are ok, and just busy taking care of YOU! (and those wonderful animals of course) Always praying for you. Love Ya, TLC

sweetums · sweetums

Well my kids have been expressing more and more lately that they really miss my ex-A. I haven;t taken them to see him for the past seven weeks because to honest I just didn't know how to handle the situation. Their father and I seperated many years ago and they see him reg. and so this puts my ex into a funny '...

Christy · Christy

Being with my husband again constantly for 24 hrs, I realize I may need some help. I, along with the Dr's didn't realize how "off kilter" he really is. I've been up with him since 5:30 a.m. No way could he roam around the house alone. He may try to take his meds unsupervised and take them 3x because he fo...

Debbie Lee · Debbie Lee

MARCH 13 I'm apt to think of Step Seven-"Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings" -as a Step I take tearfully and on my knees. I've had that experience, but I want to entertain the possibility that Step Seven might be taken with joy-and even humor. Sometimes the sign that I ha...

Barbara · Barbara

have you attended an anniversary? did you enjoy it? what happens? any literature available?

mastiff · mastiff

hi all, i just got back from an award ceremony at my son's school. I was sent something a few weeks ago saying he would be presented a special award, which of course made me feel warm inside, and when i found out what it was, i was in tears, below is why. My oldest son is from a previous marriage, a bro...

kitty · kitty

I guess I'm still in shock over the way my mother has acted towards... since my accident Tuesday, she hasn't called to check on me once. All I have done for her, I have done out of love, it just feels like she doesn't love me. If she cannot manipulate me ~ &/or get her way, she is "dis...

mastiff · mastiff

hi all, i know for me, self worth was something i had absolutely none of when i came to alanon. I think many if not most alanoners seem to say or find the same thing when they work their steps, so i was wondering if some could share their es&h on what they did to gain self worth? Would love to...

Powerless · Powerless

Over the past few days I feel myself changing more. I have been coming here for quite some time, but he I have made more progress this weekend than I ever had. My husband did not give me his while check on Friday as he normally does and I did not ask for it. I know that the money he kept went...

maresie · maresie

I just finished watching the Mrs. Harris film on HBO. I thought it was a great reminder of many of the issues I still face. I could relate tremendously to being seduced by, lied to, have the goal posts changed and more by a man who I felt tremendous ambivalence about and who I swifly became very atta...

lilleah · lilleah

why am I so angry with my a? he hasn't been out in a long time, and he even let me go out last week. So why, when he told me he was going out tonight after work, did I get so angry? I shouldn't be. I thought maybe it was because he waited until the last minute again, but I know that if he would have told me sooner, tha...

Diane43 · Diane43

I can't take the rejection, humiliation and bs of this relationship any longer... I called him last nite to talk, but think he is avoiding my calls.. I remained calm and left a message for him to call me back. Until I put closure to this, I can't move on. I would really...

ashraven · ashraven

Well, the subject is a bit obvious...lol. I'm wondering how to go about finding an Alanon sponsor. I know I need one, but I have no idea where to begin looking.

Becky1 · Becky1

As I have said in the chatroom, I adore Keith Urban, country singer. Last year, when hub and I were separated for almost 4 months due to a restraining order, I bought his CD, and I about played this song to death. It helps me when I start panicking about if my A husband and I will stay married or not (...

twinmom2 · twinmom2

Feeling my feelings I know is a good sign that I'm healing and recovering, but boy the change in emotions from day to day is so extreme. Yesterday, I was exhaused, I have not been sleeping very well. I spoke with my "a" on the phone and his mood was happy and carefree. The evening befor...

Maria123 · Maria123

I got by with a lil help from MY friend too (tee hee) and one of the nicest things that happened was that my boss said "wow I really like your paper; it's really interesting. She's the daughter of an A and has a ton of isms (tee hee). She asked what the 12 steps were (lol). Alcoholi...

JulieLynn · JulieLynn

I have posted several times about my a husband and I being seperated. It has been 4 months this time around. We have been together for four years and married two years. From the beginning it has been an emotional roller coaster ride. I think that I am ready to let the ride end.&...

paintthinnr · paintthinnr

Thanks to all who gave me the inspiration to go to my meeting last night, despite not being in th mood. It was, of course, a terrific meeting. Part 1 of step 4. Attitudes. It was actually really inspiring, and I did as some suggested and talked about the good things going on in m...

maresie · maresie

My counselor has been going over with me how much alcoholism there was in my family of origin. Last night (I am beginning to enjoy my dreams now rather than dread them) I rememberd going to my sister's house. My younger sister who I always felt I missed out a relationship with...

Ria · Ria

Hi everyone, I'm not only new to this site but new on-line too. It's a challenge to do something different and so far I'm loving it! I've been in Al-anon UK for over 5yrs and my A has been clean and sober for 2yrs 6months, a day at a time. For this I'm truly grateful. Howe...

penny · penny

Just as i expected, I got home from work to find my A lay on the sofa having a love affair with a bottle vodka. For now the obscenities have'nt started but I am sure they will come. When I walked through the door my stomach was in complete turmoil, I saw him and felt sick, numb with disb...

Diane43 · Diane43

Good morning everyone, I woke up this morning feeling anxious and having anxiety. This guy who I have been seeing went out last weekend to a benefit, and he was totally wasted. He had fallen down, wanted to fight and gave my 20-year-old son 20.00, then tried to co...

mastiff · mastiff

hi all, thought i'd share these lyrics with you, i thought they were beautiful. The singer is Kenny Chesney, composers are Jason Sellers and Michael Dulaney. It's called "Some people change" and is off kenny's "when the sun goes down" cd. love ya all, trina Some People Change His ol...

bob6502 · bob6502

Dear friends, "Life is a package deal. It is not enough to look only at the parts we like. It is necessary to face the whole picture so that we can make realistic choices for ourselves and stop setting ourselves up for disappointment...Our lives will remain unmanageable as long as we pretend that onl...

ashraven · ashraven

I did everything I could to help my A stop drinking but it all has been fruitless. He doesn't even seem to care about quitting anymore. I'm about to give up on him. I just don't know what else to do.

kitty · kitty

By now u all know I had an accident in the wee hrs tuesday around 2am... car ran me off the road, I hit the curb & am left beatned in the face, cracked windscreen, in shock. Rushed to the ER, couldn't raise my parent's for the world from 4-6 am, finall y 7 got a friend to come colllect me. Dunno as o...

Debbie Lee · Debbie Lee

MARCH 11 "I've chosen my epitaph," says an Al-Anon friend. "I want it to read, 'He's finally minding his own business.''' We laugh, enjoying some relief in contemplating the lighter side of a serious subject, those defects of character that seem so hard to shake. Laughter makes o...

hudsond · hudsond

Today as I have read several posts (not just today really, but for the past couple of months as well) I just feel like I grew up in a bubble! My family was so different from those that I read about on this site. We grew up in the church-I'm not sure there was an alcoholic/addict of any kind in my f...

mebjk · mebjk

Hello, all, I thank you all for being here. At the same time, I have a question to ask of all of us on this forum. I know, from my years in Alanon, that true recovery happens when we work the steps with a sponsor. The Steps are a miracle, because our HP helps us to work them,and actually does the work, in my...

Robinks · Robinks

Hi everyone - I really need some group prayers. My son is going to stay with his dad for 10 days, spring break, I am sad. To make this time tougher, a woman has been calling my cell phone and leaving lovey dovey messages. I worked though that, then today one of my crazy neighbors that has filed...

Christy · Christy

(((Dear friends)))) As I began to post, I told my husband how all of you were so supportive and prayed for us both throughout the last month. He said: Please tell them that I am very grateful and that I sure do appreciate their prayers, I believe it worked. He is still pretty frail bu...

ditto · ditto

The story begins with R, an internet friend who is coming to visit me. He wished to go out to dinner with us on Saturday night, so I made reservations for 3 at Seasons 52. On Thursday R called to ask if he could change the plans and meet us on Friday. I agreed to this. But, then I had the quandry as to what...

rosie light shines · rosie light shines

March 9 Small Things "In the past, we made simple situations into problems; we made mountains out of molehills."Basic Text, p. 87 Making mountains out of molehills seems to be our specialty. Have you heard it said that to an addict, a flat tire is a traumatic event? Or how about those of us who for...

whitie · whitie

After work today I went back to "our house" to sign our tax returns. I also had a chance to pick up a few of my belonging while I was there. Most importantly I was looking for my journal that I've searched high and low for since Oct. when I left. I finally found it in a box on the book shelf and was able to get...

maresie · maresie

For me al-anon is about using the muscle I build up and practice practice practice. I have been practising not fighting with the A trying to be cooperative and being civil. For that I have been greatly inspired by people in this room. I cannot do this work in a vacuum I need support, I need feedback...

lin0606 · lin0606

My husband is out of town for the winter, working up north. He's been doing this or some variant of it for years, we are used to it, so that's not the problem (though it is starting to get lonesome). His mother is very ill, and may be dying. There is a lot of old stuff between him and his sister, and this si...

ditto · ditto

I suppose I should start off by telling you that I have had a number of people that I loved die. So, I understand the impact of death. And normally I am empatheic when I learn that someone has died because I know what it is to grieve. An A and his friends went to a bar. It was not enough fo...

nmike · nmike

Hi, I am snowed in in a rural area. I was going to go to town and do some errands and do something nice for myself. I also need more medication for face - pre-cancerous cells treatment. Because of the change of plans I can feel myself trying to sink into self pity and really start blaming my A for leaving me...

Powerless · Powerless

I went to Barnes and Noble today to buy Courage to Change, but when I came home I realized I bought the wrong one. I'm going to read it anyway. I bought two other recovery books, but am not sure if I can say what they are. One is a daily meditation book about the twelve steps. I just...

maresie · maresie

My life has changed course recently in that I am working out there in the world. I can see how easily it is for me to get off course of my centeredness and much of it seems to be in picking up a resentment and not letting go of it. There are so many ways I can hold onto it. The way I get served at Starbucks, a slight...

been on both sides · been on both sides

Okay, new here. First time ever posting on a message board. Please be kind. Been reading posts for several days now. As my name says "been on both sides" I am an A. Don't hate me yet. Working on my recovery. And now living with a full blown A. He's on a rampage right now. Tearing thru our storage. To find a shi...

sdisnie · sdisnie

Once they have attained sobriety and are working the steps, going to AA and show the want to stay sober, what are the right and wrong things for us al-anoners to do? I know we still concentrate on ourselves and do our thing, but what else? Do we offer to go to meetings with them, or talk about t...

canadianguy · canadianguy

So as of yesterday, March 9, I am officially divorced. The papers were (finally) filed last month, and the official date has come and gone. Yesterday was a bit of a reflective day for me, but not one of particular sadness. In many ways, I think I 'grieved' the failure/loss of my marriage...

kismetstrand · kismetstrand

I was told here when brand new that I wanted to look for someone who knew the program and LIVED the program, someone active in it and whose ESH (experience, strength, hope) I liked. There were a couple women at my ftf (face to face) group who I had my eye on, by listening to their story I could see how f...

myst n rayne · myst n rayne

The last few nights I have been kept awake buy these burning questions... Why do we call it a disease? Is it not a choice? How does my A choose not to drink for a day or a week? I lost my dad to cancer a year ago...he could not choose to be cancer free for a day, a week, but my A...

d53sjurne · d53sjurne

dear all, I replyed to d day post last night and then read on to find another earlier one. I can't tell you how comforting it was to see how many here have A-kids. I waswondering as I've hung around recently if there were more than spouses on this site.I needed so bad to see this. I have an A-dau and A-mom. I...

rtexas · rtexas

Last night my A asked how long it would take for me to do this program? Well... It is not a summer school class and I don't have a schedule for graduation.... <sigh> I told her I had spent 41 years getting this way and there is no telling how long it will take me to get back. She still res...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	I bottomed out with my A (Preview) Well, I was snowed in for 3 days and I will try to make it to town today. I need more medication for my pre-cancerous cells. The treatment is bearable and I feel very good about taking care of this. My A although sober for a long time has such walls up that it is so hard to talk to him about anything. Everything...	nmike	3	477	Mar 13, 2006 by Becky1
	i seek a sponsor (Preview) hi i would like to find a sponsor. i'm australian but am doing a phd in switzerland. i'm a 34 year old female. i'd appreciate it if somebody could help me thank you leesa	leesa123	4	279	Mar 13, 2006 by Becky1
	A tragedy (Preview) My husband and I had a long, honest talk yesterday and I was able to express my anger at his addiction (making sure he knew i was distinguishing between him and it) and my pain and fear for him. I told him that with all of the cocaine he is liable to have a heart attack inhis truck one day and I dread the d...	Powerless	9	327	Mar 13, 2006 by Becky1
	are some sponsors more involved than others? (Preview) and some let it be up to the sponsee as to how often they get in touch? Do some leave it up to the sponsee on how they are going to work the program? Id like to hear about the different sponsor experiences - thank you	Barbara	1	460	Mar 13, 2006 by Jerry F
	did you find alot of your recovery depended on the reading you were doing (Preview) Im finding reading the Conference Approved Literature is a hugh part of my recovery. Anyone else think this too? That and speaking up at meetings.	Barbara	5	290	Mar 13, 2006 by nmike
	I'm New Here (Preview) This is my first post. I have been visiting this site frequently before signing up. Just reading about everyone's experiences has helped me a lot. I see that I am not alone and that the problems I have are very similar to many of yours. I have an AW who is a beautiful person in ev...	Juster	15	459	Mar 13, 2006 by Juster
	Anyone else have this problem? (Preview) OK, I am hoping that someone will give me some ideas of what to do with myself. I called my friend yesterday. And, he hasn't called back. I just get so worried. I know, logically, there is no reason to worry--that he can take care of himself (or at least should). And, I also know...	Nshala	6	451	Mar 13, 2006 by Gailey
	brother has a restraining order now on the entire family not just mother (Preview) Can I myself get in trouble if I reach out and send a hang in there email?	Barbara	4	384	Mar 13, 2006 by Barbara
	Hope for Today - pg 68 - Detachment (Preview) "Detaching myself from a person with the flu protects me from catching the illness. Emotionally detaching from alcoholism increases the likelihood that I wont catch an overabundance of anger and anxiety."	Barbara	0	426	Mar 13, 2006 by Barbara
	Ha! Gotta love it... (Preview) SIMPLE MATH >From a strictly mathematical viewpoint: What Equals 100%? What does it mean to give MORE than 100%? Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%? We have all been in situations where someone wants you to give over 100%. How about achieving 101%? What equals 100...	kismetstrand	4	357	Mar 13, 2006 by Ria
	Whole family was sick (Preview) Sorry I haven't posted. I was down with the flue and so where a bunch of the kids. It really walloped our household. I have been going form work to bed and back to work. Doing not much of anything else. I feel much better, just drained. The kids who where well took turns helping out and doing whatever shop...	Jeannie	2	324	Mar 13, 2006 by doxie
	Sponsorship, Hope for Today, Feb. 11th (Preview) " I really struggled with the process of finding a sponsor. I felt as if I were asking somone to be my friend. If I had to ask then I didn't really need that kind of friend. However, what I yearned for was somone with whom I could talk deeply and who would receive my confidences with resp...	Lunamoth	1	387	Mar 13, 2006 by mebjk
	Is Al Anon only for families of alcoholics? (Preview) Hi, Im new to the forum. I was wondering if this type of group deals with families of a marijuana user? If not, do you know of one? I could really use the help. I'm married to a pot smoker. Thanks	busybee1206	8	1227	Mar 13, 2006 by busybee1206
	Debilyn? Where are you? (Preview) I see you haven't posted for awhile, and can't help but worry about you.I know a lot of us tend to crawl into our shells when things get too much. I hope you are ok, and just busy taking care of YOU! (and those wonderful animals of course) Always praying for you. Love Ya, TLC	TLC2	1	249	Mar 13, 2006 by leo
	I was so selfish! (Preview) Well my kids have been expressing more and more lately that they really miss my ex-A. I haven;t taken them to see him for the past seven weeks because to honest I just didn't know how to handle the situation. Their father and I seperated many years ago and they see him reg. and so this puts my ex into a funny '...	sweetums	2	307	Mar 13, 2006 by nmike
	Hubby not as well as I thought.. (Preview) Being with my husband again constantly for 24 hrs, I realize I may need some help. I, along with the Dr's didn't realize how "off kilter" he really is. I've been up with him since 5:30 a.m. No way could he roam around the house alone. He may try to take his meds unsupervised and take them 3x because he fo...	Christy	10	399	Mar 13, 2006 by Karilynn
	March 13th Courage to Change (Preview) MARCH 13 I'm apt to think of Step Seven-"Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings" -as a Step I take tearfully and on my knees. I've had that experience, but I want to entertain the possibility that Step Seven might be taken with joy-and even humor. Sometimes the sign that I ha...	Debbie Lee	1	423	Mar 13, 2006 by Midnight
	AlAnon anniversary meeting (Preview) have you attended an anniversary? did you enjoy it? what happens? any literature available?	Barbara	1	297	Mar 13, 2006 by abbyal
	my precious son (Preview) hi all, i just got back from an award ceremony at my son's school. I was sent something a few weeks ago saying he would be presented a special award, which of course made me feel warm inside, and when i found out what it was, i was in tears, below is why. My oldest son is from a previous marriage, a bro...	mastiff	15	595	Mar 12, 2006 by Jayda
	Bittersweet (Preview) I guess I'm still in shock over the way my mother has acted towards... since my accident Tuesday, she hasn't called to check on me once. All I have done for her, I have done out of love, it just feels like she doesn't love me. If she cannot manipulate me ~ &/or get her way, she is "dis...	kitty	4	314	Mar 12, 2006 by kitty
	Self Worth- what do you do for it? (Preview) hi all, i know for me, self worth was something i had absolutely none of when i came to alanon. I think many if not most alanoners seem to say or find the same thing when they work their steps, so i was wondering if some could share their es&h on what they did to gain self worth? Would love to...	mastiff	8	614	Mar 12, 2006 by Lunamoth
	Changing my Behaviors (Preview) Over the past few days I feel myself changing more. I have been coming here for quite some time, but he I have made more progress this weekend than I ever had. My husband did not give me his while check on Friday as he normally does and I did not ask for it. I know that the money he kept went...	Powerless	4	317	Mar 12, 2006 by Lunamoth
	Mrs Harris (Preview) I just finished watching the Mrs. Harris film on HBO. I thought it was a great reminder of many of the issues I still face. I could relate tremendously to being seduced by, lied to, have the goal posts changed and more by a man who I felt tremendous ambivalence about and who I swifly became very atta...	maresie	0	285	Mar 12, 2006 by maresie
	why am I so angry? (Preview) why am I so angry with my a? he hasn't been out in a long time, and he even let me go out last week. So why, when he told me he was going out tonight after work, did I get so angry? I shouldn't be. I thought maybe it was because he waited until the last minute again, but I know that if he would have told me sooner, tha...	lilleah	7	487	Mar 12, 2006 by d53sjurne
	This has to stop (Preview) I can't take the rejection, humiliation and bs of this relationship any longer... I called him last nite to talk, but think he is avoiding my calls.. I remained calm and left a message for him to call me back. Until I put closure to this, I can't move on. I would really...	Diane43	11	420	Mar 12, 2006 by diamond
	How to find a sponser (Preview) Well, the subject is a bit obvious...lol. I'm wondering how to go about finding an Alanon sponsor. I know I need one, but I have no idea where to begin looking.	ashraven	5	310	Mar 12, 2006 by maresie
	Music that helps me deal (Preview) As I have said in the chatroom, I adore Keith Urban, country singer. Last year, when hub and I were separated for almost 4 months due to a restraining order, I bought his CD, and I about played this song to death. It helps me when I start panicking about if my A husband and I will stay married or not (...	Becky1	0	314	Mar 12, 2006 by Becky1
	Feeling lost and angry... (Preview) Feeling my feelings I know is a good sign that I'm healing and recovering, but boy the change in emotions from day to day is so extreme. Yesterday, I was exhaused, I have not been sleeping very well. I spoke with my "a" on the phone and his mood was happy and carefree. The evening befor...	twinmom2	3	443	Mar 12, 2006 by maresie
	I got an A on my thesis paper - bout effects of Alcoholism (long) (Preview) I got by with a lil help from MY friend too (tee hee) and one of the nicest things that happened was that my boss said "wow I really like your paper; it's really interesting. She's the daughter of an A and has a ton of isms (tee hee). She asked what the 12 steps were (lol). Alcoholi...	Maria123	8	1029	Mar 12, 2006 by gardengal
	Letting myself feel the pain (Preview) I have posted several times about my a husband and I being seperated. It has been 4 months this time around. We have been together for four years and married two years. From the beginning it has been an emotional roller coaster ride. I think that I am ready to let the ride end.&...	JulieLynn	7	373	Mar 12, 2006 by Maria123
	Thanks (Preview) Thanks to all who gave me the inspiration to go to my meeting last night, despite not being in th mood. It was, of course, a terrific meeting. Part 1 of step 4. Attitudes. It was actually really inspiring, and I did as some suggested and talked about the good things going on in m...	paintthinnr	3	278	Mar 12, 2006 by Maria123
	becoming a caretaker (Preview) My counselor has been going over with me how much alcoholism there was in my family of origin. Last night (I am beginning to enjoy my dreams now rather than dread them) I rememberd going to my sister's house. My younger sister who I always felt I missed out a relationship with...	maresie	7	641	Mar 12, 2006 by Diane43
	Just For Today... I will have a program (Preview) Hi everyone, I'm not only new to this site but new on-line too. It's a challenge to do something different and so far I'm loving it! I've been in Al-anon UK for over 5yrs and my A has been clean and sober for 2yrs 6months, a day at a time. For this I'm truly grateful. Howe...	Ria	4	331	Mar 12, 2006 by Maria123
	Keeping Busy (Preview) Just as i expected, I got home from work to find my A lay on the sofa having a love affair with a bottle vodka. For now the obscenities have'nt started but I am sure they will come. When I walked through the door my stomach was in complete turmoil, I saw him and felt sick, numb with disb...	penny	7	411	Mar 12, 2006 by Diane43
	Feeling anxious this morning (Preview) Good morning everyone, I woke up this morning feeling anxious and having anxiety. This guy who I have been seeing went out last weekend to a benefit, and he was totally wasted. He had fallen down, wanted to fight and gave my 20-year-old son 20.00, then tried to co...	Diane43	5	437	Mar 12, 2006 by Diane43
	lyrics (Preview) hi all, thought i'd share these lyrics with you, i thought they were beautiful. The singer is Kenny Chesney, composers are Jason Sellers and Michael Dulaney. It's called "Some people change" and is off kenny's "when the sun goes down" cd. love ya all, trina Some People Change His ol...	mastiff	5	347	Mar 12, 2006 by Becky1
	Courage to Change, July 9 (Preview) Dear friends, "Life is a package deal. It is not enough to look only at the parts we like. It is necessary to face the whole picture so that we can make realistic choices for ourselves and stop setting ourselves up for disappointment...Our lives will remain unmanageable as long as we pretend that onl...	bob6502	2	1084	Mar 12, 2006 by nmike
	Giving up (Preview) I did everything I could to help my A stop drinking but it all has been fruitless. He doesn't even seem to care about quitting anymore. I'm about to give up on him. I just don't know what else to do.	ashraven	4	360	Mar 11, 2006 by ashraven
	bitter moments (mom, ugh) (Preview) By now u all know I had an accident in the wee hrs tuesday around 2am... car ran me off the road, I hit the curb & am left beatned in the face, cracked windscreen, in shock. Rushed to the ER, couldn't raise my parent's for the world from 4-6 am, finall y 7 got a friend to come colllect me. Dunno as o...	kitty	7	486	Mar 11, 2006 by cedarpines
	March 11th Courage to Change (Preview) MARCH 11 "I've chosen my epitaph," says an Al-Anon friend. "I want it to read, 'He's finally minding his own business.''' We laugh, enjoying some relief in contemplating the lighter side of a serious subject, those defects of character that seem so hard to shake. Laughter makes o...	Debbie Lee	2	1692	Mar 11, 2006 by d53sjurne
	Feel like I grew up in a bubble! (Preview) Today as I have read several posts (not just today really, but for the past couple of months as well) I just feel like I grew up in a bubble! My family was so different from those that I read about on this site. We grew up in the church-I'm not sure there was an alcoholic/addict of any kind in my f...	hudsond	3	362	Mar 11, 2006 by Ria
	Working the Steps? (Preview) Hello, all, I thank you all for being here. At the same time, I have a question to ask of all of us on this forum. I know, from my years in Alanon, that true recovery happens when we work the steps with a sponsor. The Steps are a miracle, because our HP helps us to work them,and actually does the work, in my...	mebjk	5	308	Mar 11, 2006 by Powerless
	Please Pray For Me (Preview) Hi everyone - I really need some group prayers. My son is going to stay with his dad for 10 days, spring break, I am sad. To make this time tougher, a woman has been calling my cell phone and leaving lovey dovey messages. I worked though that, then today one of my crazy neighbors that has filed...	Robinks	9	469	Mar 11, 2006 by alanon_2002
	Hubby came home today :) (Preview) (((Dear friends)))) As I began to post, I told my husband how all of you were so supportive and prayed for us both throughout the last month. He said: Please tell them that I am very grateful and that I sure do appreciate their prayers, I believe it worked. He is still pretty frail bu...	Christy	11	372	Mar 11, 2006 by bob6502
	What is wrong with him?! (Preview) The story begins with R, an internet friend who is coming to visit me. He wished to go out to dinner with us on Saturday night, so I made reservations for 3 at Seasons 52. On Thursday R called to ask if he could change the plans and meet us on Friday. I agreed to this. But, then I had the quandry as to what...	ditto	3	295	Mar 11, 2006 by peewee
	nickel - dime aggravation (Preview) March 9 Small Things "In the past, we made simple situations into problems; we made mountains out of molehills."Basic Text, p. 87 Making mountains out of molehills seems to be our specialty. Have you heard it said that to an addict, a flat tire is a traumatic event? Or how about those of us who for...	rosie light shines	3	366	Mar 11, 2006 by Ria
	the wretched journey (Preview) After work today I went back to "our house" to sign our tax returns. I also had a chance to pick up a few of my belonging while I was there. Most importantly I was looking for my journal that I've searched high and low for since Oct. when I left. I finally found it in a box on the book shelf and was able to get...	whitie	5	569	Mar 11, 2006 by mebjk
	not starting the war (Preview) For me al-anon is about using the muscle I build up and practice practice practice. I have been practising not fighting with the A trying to be cooperative and being civil. For that I have been greatly inspired by people in this room. I cannot do this work in a vacuum I need support, I need feedback...	maresie	2	325	Mar 11, 2006 by BlueCloud
	A Reminder (Preview) My husband is out of town for the winter, working up north. He's been doing this or some variant of it for years, we are used to it, so that's not the problem (though it is starting to get lonesome). His mother is very ill, and may be dying. There is a lot of old stuff between him and his sister, and this si...	lin0606	3	274	Mar 11, 2006 by mebjk
	A sad tale (Preview) I suppose I should start off by telling you that I have had a number of people that I loved die. So, I understand the impact of death. And normally I am empatheic when I learn that someone has died because I know what it is to grieve. An A and his friends went to a bar. It was not enough fo...	ditto	2	290	Mar 11, 2006 by d53sjurne
	Determined to have a good time.... (Preview) Hi, I am snowed in in a rural area. I was going to go to town and do some errands and do something nice for myself. I also need more medication for face - pre-cancerous cells treatment. Because of the change of plans I can feel myself trying to sink into self pity and really start blaming my A for leaving me...	nmike	4	374	Mar 11, 2006 by aunitedway
	Bought the wrong book (Preview) I went to Barnes and Noble today to buy Courage to Change, but when I came home I realized I bought the wrong one. I'm going to read it anyway. I bought two other recovery books, but am not sure if I can say what they are. One is a daily meditation book about the twelve steps. I just...	Powerless	6	449	Mar 11, 2006 by nmike
	staying centered (Preview) My life has changed course recently in that I am working out there in the world. I can see how easily it is for me to get off course of my centeredness and much of it seems to be in picking up a resentment and not letting go of it. There are so many ways I can hold onto it. The way I get served at Starbucks, a slight...	maresie	3	265	Mar 11, 2006 by d53sjurne
	looking for a place to go (Preview) Okay, new here. First time ever posting on a message board. Please be kind. Been reading posts for several days now. As my name says "been on both sides" I am an A. Don't hate me yet. Working on my recovery. And now living with a full blown A. He's on a rampage right now. Tearing thru our storage. To find a shi...	been on both sides	11	446	Mar 11, 2006 by aunitedway
	What is the right or wrong thing to do living with someone in recovery (Preview) Once they have attained sobriety and are working the steps, going to AA and show the want to stay sober, what are the right and wrong things for us al-anoners to do? I know we still concentrate on ourselves and do our thing, but what else? Do we offer to go to meetings with them, or talk about t...	sdisnie	5	444	Mar 10, 2006 by Ria
	It was just another day... (Preview) So as of yesterday, March 9, I am officially divorced. The papers were (finally) filed last month, and the official date has come and gone. Yesterday was a bit of a reflective day for me, but not one of particular sadness. In many ways, I think I 'grieved' the failure/loss of my marriage...	canadianguy	8	562	Mar 10, 2006 by Maria123
	In asking for a sponsor... (Preview) I was told here when brand new that I wanted to look for someone who knew the program and LIVED the program, someone active in it and whose ESH (experience, strength, hope) I liked. There were a couple women at my ftf (face to face) group who I had my eye on, by listening to their story I could see how f...	kismetstrand	5	417	Mar 10, 2006 by maresie
	concerning question need your help! (Preview) The last few nights I have been kept awake buy these burning questions... Why do we call it a disease? Is it not a choice? How does my A choose not to drink for a day or a week? I lost my dad to cancer a year ago...he could not choose to be cancer free for a day, a week, but my A...	myst n rayne	8	524	Mar 10, 2006 by Ria
	My A-child,A-Mom,A-bro broke me (Preview) dear all, I replyed to d day post last night and then read on to find another earlier one. I can't tell you how comforting it was to see how many here have A-kids. I waswondering as I've hung around recently if there were more than spouses on this site.I needed so bad to see this. I have an A-dau and A-mom. I...	d53sjurne	4	466	Mar 10, 2006 by maresie
	Changing me is soo hard... (Preview) Last night my A asked how long it would take for me to do this program? Well... It is not a summer school class and I don't have a schedule for graduation.... <sigh> I told her I had spent 41 years getting this way and there is no telling how long it will take me to get back. She still res...	rtexas	7	720	Mar 10, 2006 by maresie
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.