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When to let the cat out!?
(Preview)
I had planned on telling my husband we were leaving yesterday, but my son screwed it up Saturday by qualifying for State Westling competition in two weeks.
I'm ready to to tell him anytime, but have been waiting for the boys wrestling to finish up as not to upset their lives by living with a prick with t...
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jrtjosey
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5
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368
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Quoting from Al-Anon Literature
(Preview)
Hi Everyone,
I wanted to point something out to any of you who might not know this. Our conference approved literature, One Day at a Time, Courage to Change ... etc. has all been copyrighted by the WSO (World Service Office).
It is okay for us to quote up to one paragraph of this material at a time...
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david62
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3
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273
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Post Rehab/Still not happy
(Preview)
Firstly, this board is great. Just found it a week ago, and find myself checking it all day. Great source of inspiration. My situation is a follows, and wondering if anyone else feels (or felt) like this.....
My wife of 13 years has been a pretty chronic alcoholic for most of our marriage, getting wor...
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Jeffr
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8
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295
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dry drunk syndrom
(Preview)
Hi, I'm new here and looking forward to the support. My husband will not have drank for 5 years this October. He doesn't drink but he seems to be slipping into the same personality characteristics he had when he was drinking. If I have a complaint, he throws something back at me that I have d...
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dideeh
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2
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385
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do you ever find recovery to be too much and walk away for a while?
(Preview)
Seems to me recovery is at times too much soul-searching, can be too depressing. Id like to just walk away and focus instead on the happy exciting feelings coming my way next week (going to Disney World).
As they say at Mickey's House "Dare to do what dreamers do" "Make a wish, dream a dream and y...
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Barbara
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4
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317
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I bottomed out with my A
(Preview)
Well, I was snowed in for 3 days and I will try to make it to town today. I need more medication for my pre-cancerous cells. The treatment is bearable and I feel very good about taking care of this. My A although sober for a long time has such walls up that it is so hard to talk to him about anything. Everything...
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nmike
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3
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433
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i seek a sponsor
(Preview)
hi
i would like to find a sponsor. i'm australian but am doing a phd in switzerland. i'm a 34 year old female.
i'd appreciate it if somebody could help me
thank you
leesa
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leesa123
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4
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239
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A tragedy
(Preview)
My husband and I had a long, honest talk yesterday and I was able to express my anger at his addiction (making sure he knew i was distinguishing between him and it) and my pain and fear for him. I told him that with all of the cocaine he is liable to have a heart attack inhis truck one day and I dread the d...
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Powerless
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9
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277
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are some sponsors more involved than others?
(Preview)
and some let it be up to the sponsee as to how often they get in touch? Do some leave it up to the sponsee on how they are going to work the program? Id like to hear about the different sponsor experiences - thank you
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Barbara
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1
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417
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did you find alot of your recovery depended on the reading you were doing
(Preview)
Im finding reading the Conference Approved Literature is a hugh part of my recovery. Anyone else think this too?
That and speaking up at meetings.
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Barbara
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5
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241
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I'm New Here
(Preview)
This is my first post. I have been visiting this site frequently before signing up. Just reading about everyone's experiences has helped me a lot. I see that I am not alone and that the problems I have are very similar to many of yours. I have an AW who is a beautiful person in ev...
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Juster
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15
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419
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Anyone else have this problem?
(Preview)
OK, I am hoping that someone will give me some ideas of what to do with myself. I called my friend yesterday. And, he hasn't called back. I just get so worried. I know, logically, there is no reason to worry--that he can take care of himself (or at least should). And, I also know...
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Nshala
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6
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406
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brother has a restraining order now on the entire family not just mother
(Preview)
Can I myself get in trouble if I reach out and send a hang in there email?
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Barbara
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4
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322
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Hope for Today - pg 68 - Detachment
(Preview)
"Detaching myself from a person with the flu protects me from catching the illness. Emotionally detaching from alcoholism increases the likelihood that I wont catch an overabundance of anger and anxiety."
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Barbara
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0
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378
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Ha! Gotta love it...
(Preview)
SIMPLE MATH >From a strictly mathematical viewpoint: What Equals 100%? What does it mean to give MORE than 100%? Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%? We have all been in situations where someone wants you to give over 100%. How about achieving 101%? What equals 100...
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kismetstrand
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4
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312
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Whole family was sick
(Preview)
Sorry I haven't posted. I was down with the flue and so where a bunch of the kids.
It really walloped our household. I have been going form work to bed and back to work. Doing not much of anything else. I feel much better, just drained. The kids who where well took turns helping out and doing whatever shop...
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Jeannie
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2
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281
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Sponsorship, Hope for Today, Feb. 11th
(Preview)
" I really struggled with the process of finding a sponsor. I felt as if I were asking somone to be my friend. If I had to ask then I didn't really need that kind of friend. However, what I yearned for was somone with whom I could talk deeply and who would receive my confidences with resp...
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Lunamoth
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1
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342
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Is Al Anon only for families of alcoholics?
(Preview)
Hi, Im new to the forum. I was wondering if this type of group deals with families of a marijuana user? If not, do you know of one? I could really use the help. I'm married to a pot smoker. Thanks
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busybee1206
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8
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1053
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Debilyn? Where are you?
(Preview)
I see you haven't posted for awhile, and can't help but worry about you.I know a lot of us tend to crawl into our shells when things get too much. I hope you are ok, and just busy taking care of YOU! (and those wonderful animals of course) Always praying for you. Love Ya, TLC
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TLC2
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1
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202
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I was so selfish!
(Preview)
Well my kids have been expressing more and more lately that they really miss my ex-A. I haven;t taken them to see him for the past seven weeks because to honest I just didn't know how to handle the situation. Their father and I seperated many years ago and they see him reg. and so this puts my ex into a funny '...
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sweetums
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2
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271
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Hubby not as well as I thought..
(Preview)
Being with my husband again constantly for 24 hrs, I realize I may need some help.
I, along with the Dr's didn't realize how "off kilter" he really is.
I've been up with him since 5:30 a.m. No way could he roam around the house alone. He may try to take his meds unsupervised and take them 3x because he fo...
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Christy
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10
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356
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March 13th Courage to Change
(Preview)
MARCH 13
I'm apt to think of Step Seven-"Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings" -as a Step I take tearfully and on my knees. I've had that experience, but I want to entertain the possibility that Step Seven might be taken with joy-and even humor.
Sometimes the sign that I ha...
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Debbie Lee
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1
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384
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AlAnon anniversary meeting
(Preview)
have you attended an anniversary? did you enjoy it? what happens? any literature available?
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Barbara
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1
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259
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my precious son
(Preview)
hi all, i just got back from an award ceremony at my son's school. I was sent something a few weeks ago saying he would be presented a special award, which of course made me feel warm inside, and when i found out what it was, i was in tears, below is why.
My oldest son is from a previous marriage, a bro...
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mastiff
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15
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545
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Bittersweet
(Preview)
I guess I'm still in shock over the way my mother has acted towards... since my accident Tuesday, she hasn't called to check on me once. All I have done for her, I have done out of love, it just feels like she doesn't love me. If she cannot manipulate me ~ &/or get her way, she is "dis...
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kitty
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4
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273
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Self Worth- what do you do for it?
(Preview)
hi all, i know for me, self worth was something i had absolutely none of when i came to alanon. I think many if not most alanoners seem to say or find the same thing when they work their steps, so i was wondering if some could share their es&h on what they did to gain self worth? Would love to...
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mastiff
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8
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565
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Changing my Behaviors
(Preview)
Over the past few days I feel myself changing more. I have been coming here for quite some time, but he I have made more progress this weekend than I ever had. My husband did not give me his while check on Friday as he normally does and I did not ask for it. I know that the money he kept went...
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Powerless
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4
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267
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Mrs Harris
(Preview)
I just finished watching the Mrs. Harris film on HBO. I thought it was a great reminder of many of the issues I still face. I could relate tremendously to being seduced by, lied to, have the goal posts changed and more by a man who I felt tremendous ambivalence about and who I swifly became very atta...
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maresie
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0
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236
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why am I so angry?
(Preview)
why am I so angry with my a? he hasn't been out in a long time, and he even let me go out last week. So why, when he told me he was going out tonight after work, did I get so angry? I shouldn't be. I thought maybe it was because he waited until the last minute again, but I know that if he would have told me sooner, tha...
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lilleah
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7
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434
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This has to stop
(Preview)
I can't take the rejection, humiliation and bs of this relationship any longer... I called him last nite to talk, but think he is avoiding my calls.. I remained calm and left a message for him to call me back. Until I put closure to this, I can't move on. I would really...
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Diane43
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11
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379
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How to find a sponser
(Preview)
Well, the subject is a bit obvious...lol. I'm wondering how to go about finding an Alanon sponsor. I know I need one, but I have no idea where to begin looking.
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ashraven
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5
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265
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Music that helps me deal
(Preview)
As I have said in the chatroom, I adore Keith Urban, country singer.
Last year, when hub and I were separated for almost 4 months due to a restraining order, I bought his CD, and I about played this song to death. It helps me when I start panicking about if my A husband and I will stay married or not (...
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Becky1
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0
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268
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Feeling lost and angry...
(Preview)
Feeling my feelings I know is a good sign that I'm healing and recovering, but boy the change in emotions from day to day is so extreme. Yesterday, I was exhaused, I have not been sleeping very well. I spoke with my "a" on the phone and his mood was happy and carefree. The evening befor...
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twinmom2
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3
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389
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I got an A on my thesis paper - bout effects of Alcoholism (long)
(Preview)
I got by with a lil help from MY friend too (tee hee) and one of the nicest things that happened was that my boss said "wow I really like your paper; it's really interesting. She's the daughter of an A and has a ton of isms (tee hee). She asked what the 12 steps were (lol).
Alcoholi...
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Maria123
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8
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976
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Letting myself feel the pain
(Preview)
I have posted several times about my a husband and I being seperated. It has been 4 months this time around. We have been together for four years and married two years. From the beginning it has been an emotional roller coaster ride. I think that I am ready to let the ride end.&...
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JulieLynn
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7
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329
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Thanks
(Preview)
Thanks to all who gave me the inspiration to go to my meeting last night, despite not being in th mood. It was, of course, a terrific meeting. Part 1 of step 4. Attitudes. It was actually really inspiring, and I did as some suggested and talked about the good things going on in m...
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paintthinnr
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3
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232
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becoming a caretaker
(Preview)
My counselor has been going over with me how much alcoholism there was in my family of origin. Last night (I am beginning to enjoy my dreams now rather than dread them) I rememberd going to my sister's house. My younger sister who I always felt I missed out a relationship with...
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maresie
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7
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584
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Just For Today... I will have a program
(Preview)
Hi everyone, I'm not only new to this site but new on-line too. It's a challenge to do something different and so far I'm loving it! I've been in Al-anon UK for over 5yrs and my A has been clean and sober for 2yrs 6months, a day at a time. For this I'm truly grateful.
Howe...
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Ria
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4
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280
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Keeping Busy
(Preview)
Just as i expected, I got home from work to find my A lay on the sofa having a love affair with a bottle vodka. For now the obscenities have'nt started but I am sure they will come.
When I walked through the door my stomach was in complete turmoil, I saw him and felt sick, numb with disb...
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penny
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7
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343
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Feeling anxious this morning
(Preview)
Good morning everyone,
I woke up this morning feeling anxious and having anxiety.
This guy who I have been seeing went out last weekend to a benefit, and he was totally wasted. He had fallen down, wanted to fight and gave my 20-year-old son 20.00, then tried to co...
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Diane43
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5
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382
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lyrics
(Preview)
hi all, thought i'd share these lyrics with you, i thought they were beautiful. The singer is Kenny Chesney, composers are Jason Sellers and Michael Dulaney. It's called "Some people change" and is off kenny's "when the sun goes down" cd. love ya all, trina
Some People Change
His ol...
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mastiff
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5
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263
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Courage to Change, July 9
(Preview)
Dear friends,
"Life is a package deal. It is not enough to look only at the parts we like. It is necessary to face the whole picture so that we can make realistic choices for ourselves and stop setting ourselves up for disappointment...Our lives will remain unmanageable as long as we pretend that onl...
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bob6502
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2
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907
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Giving up
(Preview)
I did everything I could to help my A stop drinking but it all has been fruitless. He doesn't even seem to care about quitting anymore. I'm about to give up on him. I just don't know what else to do.
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ashraven
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4
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307
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bitter moments (mom, ugh)
(Preview)
By now u all know I had an accident in the wee hrs tuesday around 2am... car ran me off the road, I hit the curb & am left beatned in the face, cracked windscreen, in shock.
Rushed to the ER, couldn't raise my parent's for the world from 4-6 am, finall y 7 got a friend to come colllect me. Dunno as o...
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kitty
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7
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433
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March 11th Courage to Change
(Preview)
MARCH 11
"I've chosen my epitaph," says an Al-Anon friend. "I want it to read, 'He's finally minding his own business.'''
We laugh, enjoying some relief in contemplating the lighter side of a serious subject, those defects of character that seem so hard to shake. Laughter makes o...
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Debbie Lee
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2
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1412
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Feel like I grew up in a bubble!
(Preview)
Today as I have read several posts (not just today really, but for the past couple of months as well) I just feel like I grew up in a bubble! My family was so different from those that I read about on this site. We grew up in the church-I'm not sure there was an alcoholic/addict of any kind in my f...
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hudsond
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3
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308
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Working the Steps?
(Preview)
Hello, all,
I thank you all for being here. At the same time, I have a question to ask of all of us on this forum.
I know, from my years in Alanon, that true recovery happens when we work the steps with a sponsor. The Steps are a miracle, because our HP helps us to work them,and actually does the work, in my...
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mebjk
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5
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254
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Please Pray For Me
(Preview)
Hi everyone - I really need some group prayers.
My son is going to stay with his dad for 10 days, spring break, I am sad.
To make this time tougher, a woman has been calling my cell phone and leaving lovey dovey messages.
I worked though that, then today one of my crazy neighbors that has filed...
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Robinks
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9
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420
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Hubby came home today :)
(Preview)
(((Dear friends))))
As I began to post, I told my husband how all of you were so supportive and prayed for us both throughout the last month.
He said: Please tell them that I am very grateful and that I sure do appreciate their prayers, I believe it worked.
He is still pretty frail bu...
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Christy
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11
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318
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What is wrong with him?!
(Preview)
The story begins with R, an internet friend who is coming to visit me. He wished to go out to dinner with us on Saturday night, so I made reservations for 3 at Seasons 52. On Thursday R called to ask if he could change the plans and meet us on Friday. I agreed to this. But, then I had the quandry as to what...
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ditto
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3
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246
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nickel - dime aggravation
(Preview)
March 9 Small Things
"In the past, we made simple situations into problems; we made mountains out of molehills."Basic Text, p. 87
Making mountains out of molehills seems to be our specialty. Have you heard it said that to an addict, a flat tire is a traumatic event? Or how about those of us who for...
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rosie light shines
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3
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320
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the wretched journey
(Preview)
After work today I went back to "our house" to sign our tax returns. I also had a chance to pick up a few of my belonging while I was there. Most importantly I was looking for my journal that I've searched high and low for since Oct. when I left. I finally found it in a box on the book shelf and was able to get...
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whitie
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5
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525
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not starting the war
(Preview)
For me al-anon is about using the muscle I build up and practice practice practice. I have been practising not fighting with the A trying to be cooperative and being civil. For that I have been greatly inspired by people in this room. I cannot do this work in a vacuum I need support, I need feedback...
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maresie
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2
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281
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A Reminder
(Preview)
My husband is out of town for the winter, working up north. He's been doing this or some variant of it for years, we are used to it, so that's not the problem (though it is starting to get lonesome).
His mother is very ill, and may be dying. There is a lot of old stuff between him and his sister, and this si...
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lin0606
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3
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235
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A sad tale
(Preview)
I suppose I should start off by telling you that I have had a number of people that I loved die. So, I understand the impact of death. And normally I am empatheic when I learn that someone has died because I know what it is to grieve.
An A and his friends went to a bar. It was not enough fo...
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ditto
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2
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247
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Determined to have a good time....
(Preview)
Hi,
I am snowed in in a rural area. I was going to go to town and do some errands and do something nice for myself. I also need more medication for face - pre-cancerous cells treatment. Because of the change of plans I can feel myself trying to sink into self pity and really start blaming my A for leaving me...
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nmike
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4
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324
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Bought the wrong book
(Preview)
I went to Barnes and Noble today to buy Courage to Change, but when I came home I realized I bought the wrong one. I'm going to read it anyway. I bought two other recovery books, but am not sure if I can say what they are. One is a daily meditation book about the twelve steps. I just...
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Powerless
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6
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397
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staying centered
(Preview)
My life has changed course recently in that I am working out there in the world. I can see how easily it is for me to get off course of my centeredness and much of it seems to be in picking up a resentment and not letting go of it. There are so many ways I can hold onto it. The way I get served at Starbucks, a slight...
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maresie
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3
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220
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looking for a place to go
(Preview)
Okay, new here. First time ever posting on a message board. Please be kind. Been reading posts for several days now. As my name says "been on both sides" I am an A. Don't hate me yet. Working on my recovery. And now living with a full blown A. He's on a rampage right now. Tearing thru our storage. To find a shi...
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been on both sides
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11
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399
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What is the right or wrong thing to do living with someone in recovery
(Preview)
Once they have attained sobriety and are working the steps, going to AA and show the want to stay sober, what are the right and wrong things for us al-anoners to do? I know we still concentrate on ourselves and do our thing, but what else? Do we offer to go to meetings with them, or talk about t...
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sdisnie
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5
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396
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