Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

mamamary1964 · mamamary1964

I am struggling with an addicted daughter who is out of control. She totaled her car last week and the next day went out and financed another. Now because of her horrific driving record she cannot afford the insurance and wants my husband and I to cosign the loan so she can go back on ours (where she has b...

duffs · duffs

Hi everyone Thanks in advance for your support. I met my partner just under a year ago Within a few months it was obvs his drinking was a problem and he stopped in March. He told me he'd been in rehab years back but got lazy with going to AA, started casually drinking again but he does know deep down he can nev...

Debb · Debb

Todays ODAT reading speaks about when within the developments of sobriety in a family that it is not always magical and contentment. Resentments carried forward from the past may/will surface and it is suggested thatwe must be on guard and have patience that we do not lapse into feeling sorry for o...

DavidG · DavidG

After a weekend workshop. Well! Actually at the workshop... we are challenged to take the message on. I use the internet a lot- and I chose this clip- to present the programme to my local community. I was a part of building a community facebook profile- and we present all aspects of community l...

DavidG · DavidG

What next? I asked myself? 38 years in the programme so far. I have joined a network of old-timers really. Last weekend I went to an Alanon Study Day. I am a 50'd baby boomer, when I am not in the rooms. I want change- and I want it fast! One of the components on my home group breaking up- was the fact that...

Skorpi · Skorpi

Hello MIP! In today's reading, the author reflects on the result of their Step 4 Inventory. For the author, the result was realizing that much of their behavior was immature, and a gift of the step 4 inventory was a set of goals to work toward with the help of the Al-Anon program. The author's goals incl...

runaway2020 · runaway2020

Hello, I have been with my husband for 25 years. In that time there has been repeated problems surrounding his drinking. In the past he would drink daily (a few a night and weekends he would go out and get drunk, then drive home after the bars closed closed). After a time of me expressing my concerns over t...

Maresie888 · Maresie888

Thank you all for your kind feedback. I do feel that I have moved to a new level in grieving our dear friend. That was not a level I got to with many people. Growing up in an abusive home meant that the death of my parents caused ambivalence. That is yet another loss in the virtual absence of my parents. I di...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

Today's contributor focused on the great value of AlAnon Conference Approved Literature (CAL) in our recovery. It is a resource we can access 24/7 when a meeting, sponsor, or program friend may not be available.Not just for crisis, these pages offer wisdom and guidance straight from the source, of...

mamamary1964 · mamamary1964

I am just writing to vent becasue I am so frightened right now. I am no stranger to addiction (both my son (drugs) and husband (alcohol) WERE addicts) This is different it's my baby and my only little girl. She totaled her car on Tuesday (in my name of course) and went out and financed another in her nam...

Lyne · Lyne

The author for Monday, 3/1, tries to explain to us what humility is, and how confusing the concept actually is. It often brings us to resistance, we ask if we are we supposed to be submissive, and it shows us it is not intended for us to be slaves to our destructive way of life. True humility prepares us fo...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning Everyone- Today I am beginning with the quotation from the Thought for the Day: Alcoholism doesnt have to be active in my life for me to be affected by it. The writer begins by acknowledging that it took quite a while before gettin to step one, admitting powerlessness over alcohol. How cou...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Happy Saturday MIP. Today's reading discusses how we need not design a master plan for our recovery. Instead, we are asked to humbly ask a power greater than ourselves for the guidance and willingness to follow that guidance just this one day. We learn to trust that we are not alone and we will recei...

Maresie888 · Maresie888

I went to a webinar on resilience this week It was very helpful I have always defined resilience about what I survived That I didnt go under. I most certainly had a tumultuous time of of it . So here it is resilience according to this expert from Stanford is about affect regulation. soothing Most of a...

Freetime · Freetime

Today's reading in One Day at a Time in Al-Anon points out that, when we hear of a fellow member experiencing cruelty or violence, we have a strong desire to give them advice -- to urge them to do what we think we would do in that intolerable situation. The problem is that not everyone is in a place or has th...

Skorpi · Skorpi

Hello MIP! In today's reading from C2C, the author shares about a very frustrating experience - going to the grocery store, only to find some shelves empty. This problem can be avoided if the grocer does an inventory and notices what is missing. The author shares that the 4th step is like this - a 4th st...

DavidG · DavidG

... Boundaries- I was told that the idea was to remove barriers and help create healthy boundaries. In my world the generational boundaries were broken -damaged. Some non-existent. So I still struggle with what a boundary is. At the moment I am thinking it might be about rituals of encounter. In my...

Debb · Debb

Todays ODAT speaks to us about the alcoholic who has reached a sobriety state and that our expectations that it is a complete transformationfor the alcoholic and our lives is not what we may expect. There still remains, struggles for them and they will still experience periods ofmoodiness and pers...

Ruskin · Ruskin

My partner of ten years has been addicted to alcohol and cannabis since I met him 12 years ago. We now have 2 young children. Throughout our relationship and childrens lives he has been unpredictable in his moods and also his presence. He can be an amazing dad and very caring and loving partner. He is hig...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

Word meaning can vary widely across, even between cultures and individuals; "detach" is a good example.AlAnon's detachment is not complete disconnection of emotion, love, care. Rather, it involves removing ourselves from being unhealthily embedded (physically/emotionally) in the alcohol...

DavidG · DavidG

A few years ago my SO and I went to Stepping Stones north of NYC. This was to be a retreat for them- but there were oodles of people there- a lot of the time. I think there was hope bursting from every bud- in the woods around the house. Because we were overseas visitors- we were actually the only visito...

Lyne · Lyne

The author of the reading for Monday, 2/22, relates that making decisions were impossible because the imposed standards were too high. They only wanted to make decisions that would get them exactly what they wanted, or they preferred not to make them at all. Over time, the author learned that deci...

Skorpi · Skorpi

Hello MIP! In today's reading from C2C, the author shares that their own vision can be limited. Sometimes, it seems that the only possible outcomes are the ones we can imagine ourselves. In the author's case, thankfully, their Higher Power is not limited by the author's own lack of imagination. Som...

DavidG · DavidG

I tend to dwell on the topics here- meditate on them. Absorb them. There was a topic last week about comparisons. For three or four days I encountered dissociation... [numbing, or brain fog.] I rode with is until it cleared. Did not feel compelled to get back to Step one- and start the slow climb a...

DavidG · DavidG

I am reading the Feb 8 reading from Hope for Today. It is a timely reminder for me, because it says that we could consider putting ourselves on the list of those we had harmed. Tonight I am going to a neighbouring meeting. The mainstay of the group can't come- because she is ill. Do I go and ta...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning everyone: Todays reading is about dealing with memories of past experiences, ones that are extremely difficult to accept and those that are more positive. The writer describes having found a safe place within alanon to deal with the pain of a childhood within a family affected by alcoh...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Good morning MIP. Today's reading talks about unacceptable behavior. We hear early on that we don't have to accept unacceptable behavior. This helps each of us to determine what's acceptable vs. what is not. We certainly should never tolerate violence or abuse and the program helps us see we al...

Freetime · Freetime

Today's author obsessed over writing their Fourth Step inventory -- working on it around the clock and fearing they would leave something out. They discovered one of their character defects was obsession. This was a reminder that they could act as insanely as an alcoholic, even when completely s...

Debb · Debb

Todays reading suggests that the Al-Anon program works if those who approach it keep an open mind and not expect overnight miracles. It goes on to remind us that it took years to create the situation we find ourselves in, and that if we are receptive and listen, instead ofbeing quick to judge, that we w...

Bettertomorrow · Bettertomorrow

So it's been nearly 5 months now since I asked my AH to leave, which he did. However, and maybe it's this seemingly neverending lockdown, but I feel lonelier than ever - even though I know that I was 'alone' even when I was with him. There are times when I feel good, but times when I find myself rememberi...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

Today's page suggests that we progress substantially in our recovery when we see Alcoholism as a disease. It is often not seen as other diseases as it has no single, known cause, but can be just as destructive. We cannot cure it but are more likely able to help if we recognize it as a serious illness.Remi...

Lyne · Lyne

The reading for Monday, 2/15, talks about working the program and how one actually can accomplish this: -going to meetings and learning about alcoholism -reading the literature and listening -being around people who speak the alanon language -being patient and putting in effort Eventually prog...

JerryF · JerryF

What a pleasant wonderful morning though I woke up after fruitless sleep. It was the usual PTSD sleep process, ages old with some workable changes. I dreamt of sessions I had in the past with my deceased sponsor Don.T. on the lessons of feelings being choices. When he first mentioned that to me I se...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning everyone: Todays reading is about the importance of simply listening to others when they are sharing. The writer describes walking with his wife and answering every statement she starts to make with a comparison from his own life. Most of her sentences were interrupted by her husband...

PosiesandPuppies · PosiesandPuppies

Today's Reminder: "A sponsor or trusted Al-Anon friend can help me see that I have value just as I am." The reading in Courage to Change today is about being an individual/comparing ourselves to others. Each snowflake is different... everyone has a unique thumbprint, and despite our common problem...

DavidG · DavidG

Worked last week on a project over on the coast. and had a happy weekend with my SO and pooch. A long holiday weekend for us. We had a domestic which lasted about 40 mins. This was a record for shortness. In the day these used to go on the weeks and months. Did a whole heap of washing last night. There is r...

Paloma Negra · Paloma Negra

It's been several long months since leaving my AH and in those months I've been staying with a dear friend who is like a sister to me. The clarity of looking back over the years and relationship was needed but (and I was warned about the possibility of this happening) but living with my friend has brought...

JerryF · JerryF

Got up this AM with work to do that I had pending for 3 days by inventory. I had to finish the inventory with some self centered behavior I relapsed into days ago. It didn't feel fair, just and honest and most of that was due to letting it linger. My mind body and spirit kept me focused on the subject and I...

Freetime · Freetime

Today's reading suggests that detachment is a choice we can make. The author noticed that it was easy to detach from the moods of casual friends -- but with family members, it was hard to avoid taking on someone's negative moods and attitudes. The solution was to pay attention to their own mood befor...

Debb · Debb

The first of the twelve steps in Al-Anon, it is suggested, should leave no doubt where we stand when it comes to dealing withalcoholic situations. Admitting we are powerless over alcohol" might challenge our need to control the chaos, because weautomatically want to fix this, but the step goes on t...

Debb · Debb

Todays reading has to do with how clearly and honestly we see our present circumstances. The reading goes on to say that we should be at peace and not fall victim to harboring resentment and self-pity.The reading suggests that when we compare our lives with that of others that it is then that the destr...

Skorpi · Skorpi

Hello MIP! In today's reading, the author shares about one of the effects of alcoholism - many of us have denied or devalued our talents, feelings, achievements, and desires. Through work in the Al-Anon program, we can learn to know, appreciate, and express our true selves. Imagination can take p...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

Today's page encourages consideration of the futility of time spent trying to determine why the alcoholic drinks. Even if we had that info and limitless time and money to treat it clinically, there is no guaranty of success for their recovery.Reminder: The alcoholic can find recovery in the rooms o...

JerryF · JerryF

This is the slogan that has protected my mind, body, spirit and emotions and was passed on to me right after my very first AGF meeting. It has caused me to understand Step One and in response have a much different life than when I started recovery around 2/8/79 and get totally involved on many levels inc...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning everyone- Todays reading is about comparing ourselves to others, in a competitive way, as a motivation to do better. The writer describes doing this in order to seek praise. The writer was judging others and him/herself harshly enough that ultimately no one measures up. Going to alan...

Lyne · Lyne

The reading for Monday, 2/8, talks about seeing cheerful, smiling people when we first enter the rooms. We are astonished, says the author, as we didnt think it possible, if those people have the same problems we do. And down the road, we could even find out their problems are worse than mine! Remind...

sunmustshine · sunmustshine

Sharing a positive moment I had this week. It was the clearest evidence Ive seen of the program working when you work it. I have a new boss. This always scares the heck out of me. I always worry their expectations wont line up with my needs, theyll think I suck at my job, theyll hate me and Ill lose my job. Mea...

DavidG · DavidG

??? A close friend... ...I have years of experience behind me. I can manage now. "Jack"...hmmm... in recent times I tend to say that the only qualifier I bring to a meeting is myself... ...not sure how this sits with Alanon... because sometimes I don't know where anything sits with everyone and eve...

PosiesandPuppies · PosiesandPuppies

Dear Readers, Today's reading in Courage to Change was about our thinking, and how when distorted, we can try and force solutions. We tend to not want to wait-- we want things fixed NOW! However, many times, the best course of action is... inaction. Sometimes it is wise to wait and see. As the saying goe...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Do you ever feel like stopping time & not reflecting on the past so much? It has been almost exactly a month since I posted on here. I am dealing a lot w/ gratitude as a way to let go of the past a little. I don't want to focus on those things that made me feel horrible in the past & make each day count by b...

Debb · Debb

I have noticed that AH's side of the family, especially this year, did not recognize my birthday. Did not give it much thought as it was in October. AH's birthday is this coming Sunday and my parents sent him a card and gift, my daughter stopped by with a card and gift for him, his brothers and sister sent...

Freetime · Freetime

Today's reading explains that although we might wish that we -- or others -- had come to Al-Anon sooner, we each get here "right on schedule." The author quotes the saying, "When the student is ready, the teacher appears." They share that they attended their first Al-Anon meeting 20 years after fir...

Debb · Debb

Todays ODAT reading suggests that we have to face the fact that when we look at the outside forcesfor the reasons for the trials we are experiencing, that the real reasons can be found within ourselves,hence the self deception. We maybe frustrated with the alcoholic in our lives, yet however diffic...

Lyne · Lyne

I just had the most insane, circular, unproductive, half hour phone call with my A. It took me an entire half hour to say that I had to go. I am left feeling anxious, and I have back pain that developed during the call. God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change w...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

Today's page considers Step 2 as the entry to 'understanding and growth' after accepting that we could not manage our lives under our power alone in Step 1. We now see as possible that a 'Power greater than ourselves could lead us to sanity'.Recognizing our own unreasonableness and humble position h...

Skorpi · Skorpi

Today's author shares their initial thoughts about serenity, and how those thoughts changed over time. When the author first arrived at Al-Anon, they heard that the principles of the program could lead to serenity. The author, however, didn't want serenity - sitting on top of a mountaintop with a...

tiredtonite · tiredtonite

Hi Everyone, Just wanted to share a different response to an ongoing problem in my home. We have had ongoing plumbing issues with neighbors above us which I have reported to management. Landlord is an alcoholic who is progressing. I've learned to contact property caretakers for a more immediate res...

a4l · a4l

Living on a small island is like living in a small town only you can't drive to a city. That latter difference can contribute a lot to island fever, where basically if you're not careful you can turn into a permanently snippy version of your fine self. I am suffering a little island fever. The collective...

likemyheart · likemyheart

Hello - been a LONG while since I've been here, you know how life gets busy and things fall away from us. I've never forgotten what a help this message board was for me in escaping the insanity my life had become. I recommend it often to people, but as you know, recommend is all we can do. I live alone, quietl...

PosiesandPuppies · PosiesandPuppies

Good morning, dear readers! Today's reading in Courage to Change speaks about being able to live each day as it comes, to be free from living by old fears. Living with alcoholism in your family, one can learn that plans could change at any moment and that the "rules" varied accordingly. Many can devel...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	The Addict and the Law (Preview) I am struggling with an addicted daughter who is out of control. She totaled her car last week and the next day went out and financed another. Now because of her horrific driving record she cannot afford the insurance and wants my husband and I to cosign the loan so she can go back on ours (where she has b...	mamamary1964	6	1006	Mar 5, 2021 by TeaP
	My partner has fallen off the wagon- I'm a newbie ! (Preview) Hi everyone Thanks in advance for your support. I met my partner just under a year ago Within a few months it was obvs his drinking was a problem and he stopped in March. He told me he'd been in rehab years back but got lazy with going to AA, started casually drinking again but he does know deep down he can nev...	duffs	15	2291	Mar 4, 2021 by duffs
	March 4, 2021 – ODAT – Guarding Against Impatience (Preview) Todays ODAT reading speaks about when within the developments of sobriety in a family that it is not always magical and contentment. Resentments carried forward from the past may/will surface and it is suggested thatwe must be on guard and have patience that we do not lapse into feeling sorry for o...	Debb	5	532	Mar 4, 2021 by duffs
	Learning to pass it on... (Preview) After a weekend workshop. Well! Actually at the workshop... we are challenged to take the message on. I use the internet a lot- and I chose this clip- to present the programme to my local community. I was a part of building a community facebook profile- and we present all aspects of community l...	DavidG	1	1035	Mar 3, 2021 by Debb
	Mystory... Step one and step ten... (Preview) What next? I asked myself? 38 years in the programme so far. I have joined a network of old-timers really. Last weekend I went to an Alanon Study Day. I am a 50'd baby boomer, when I am not in the rooms. I want change- and I want it fast! One of the components on my home group breaking up- was the fact that...	DavidG	1	953	Mar 3, 2021 by Debb
	Courage to Change March 3 (Preview) Hello MIP! In today's reading, the author reflects on the result of their Step 4 Inventory. For the author, the result was realizing that much of their behavior was immature, and a gift of the step 4 inventory was a set of goals to work toward with the help of the Al-Anon program. The author's goals incl...	Skorpi	3	1354	Mar 3, 2021 by Debb
	Boundaries help. New here (Preview) Hello, I have been with my husband for 25 years. In that time there has been repeated problems surrounding his drinking. In the past he would drink daily (a few a night and weekends he would go out and get drunk, then drive home after the bars closed closed). After a time of me expressing my concerns over t...	runaway2020	9	1545	Mar 3, 2021 by Skorpi
	Betty 2021 (Preview) Thank you all for your kind feedback. I do feel that I have moved to a new level in grieving our dear friend. That was not a level I got to with many people. Growing up in an abusive home meant that the death of my parents caused ambivalence. That is yet another loss in the virtual absence of my parents. I di...	Maresie888	2	309	Mar 2, 2021 by DavidG
	3/2/21 Courage 2 Change - Pages of Gold (Preview) Today's contributor focused on the great value of AlAnon Conference Approved Literature (CAL) in our recovery. It is a resource we can access 24/7 when a meeting, sponsor, or program friend may not be available.Not just for crisis, these pages offer wisdom and guidance straight from the source, of...	Enigmatic	6	325	Mar 2, 2021 by DavidG
	21 Drug Addicted Daughter (Preview) I am just writing to vent becasue I am so frightened right now. I am no stranger to addiction (both my son (drugs) and husband (alcohol) WERE addicts) This is different it's my baby and my only little girl. She totaled her car on Tuesday (in my name of course) and went out and financed another in her nam...	mamamary1964	5	583	Mar 2, 2021 by mamamary1964
	Monday, 3/1, ODAT in alanon (Preview) The author for Monday, 3/1, tries to explain to us what humility is, and how confusing the concept actually is. It often brings us to resistance, we ask if we are we supposed to be submissive, and it shows us it is not intended for us to be slaves to our destructive way of life. True humility prepares us fo...	Lyne	3	313	Mar 1, 2021 by PosiesandPuppies
	Hope for Today Feb 28 (Preview) Good morning Everyone- Today I am beginning with the quotation from the Thought for the Day: Alcoholism doesnt have to be active in my life for me to be affected by it. The writer begins by acknowledging that it took quite a while before gettin to step one, admitting powerlessness over alcohol. How cou...	yanksfan51	7	1262	Feb 28, 2021 by SunnyFrogs
	Courage to Change 2//27 (Preview) Happy Saturday MIP. Today's reading discusses how we need not design a master plan for our recovery. Instead, we are asked to humbly ask a power greater than ourselves for the guidance and willingness to follow that guidance just this one day. We learn to trust that we are not alone and we will recei...	Iamhere	4	345	Feb 28, 2021 by Debb
	Resilience (Preview) I went to a webinar on resilience this week It was very helpful I have always defined resilience about what I survived That I didnt go under. I most certainly had a tumultuous time of of it . So here it is resilience according to this expert from Stanford is about affect regulation. soothing Most of a...	Maresie888	5	1162	Feb 27, 2021 by DavidG
	ODAT - February 26 - Safety First (Preview) Today's reading in One Day at a Time in Al-Anon points out that, when we hear of a fellow member experiencing cruelty or violence, we have a strong desire to give them advice -- to urge them to do what we think we would do in that intolerable situation. The problem is that not everyone is in a place or has th...	Freetime	2	2145	Feb 26, 2021 by Iamhere
	Courage to Change February 24 (Preview) Hello MIP! In today's reading from C2C, the author shares about a very frustrating experience - going to the grocery store, only to find some shelves empty. This problem can be avoided if the grocer does an inventory and notices what is missing. The author shares that the 4th step is like this - a 4th st...	Skorpi	13	1621	Feb 26, 2021 by SunnyFrogs
	B-b-b-boundaries... (Preview) ... Boundaries- I was told that the idea was to remove barriers and help create healthy boundaries. In my world the generational boundaries were broken -damaged. Some non-existent. So I still struggle with what a boundary is. At the moment I am thinking it might be about rituals of encounter. In my...	DavidG	5	2620	Feb 26, 2021 by SunnyFrogs
	February 25, 2021 – ODAT - Sobriety and Transformation (Preview) Todays ODAT speaks to us about the alcoholic who has reached a sobriety state and that our expectations that it is a complete transformationfor the alcoholic and our lives is not what we may expect. There still remains, struggles for them and they will still experience periods ofmoodiness and pers...	Debb	6	1822	Feb 26, 2021 by Debb
	Rock bottom, nothing left to give (Preview) My partner of ten years has been addicted to alcohol and cannabis since I met him 12 years ago. We now have 2 young children. Throughout our relationship and childrens lives he has been unpredictable in his moods and also his presence. He can be an amazing dad and very caring and loving partner. He is hig...	Ruskin	7	2455	Feb 25, 2021 by WendyP
	2/23/21 ODAT in AlAnon – Detachment (Preview) Word meaning can vary widely across, even between cultures and individuals; "detach" is a good example.AlAnon's detachment is not complete disconnection of emotion, love, care. Rather, it involves removing ourselves from being unhealthily embedded (physically/emotionally) in the alcohol...	Enigmatic	8	4680	Feb 25, 2021 by WendyP
	Dreams are free... :) (Preview) A few years ago my SO and I went to Stepping Stones north of NYC. This was to be a retreat for them- but there were oodles of people there- a lot of the time. I think there was hope bursting from every bud- in the woods around the house. Because we were overseas visitors- we were actually the only visito...	DavidG	8	2023	Feb 24, 2021 by SunnyFrogs
	C2C, 2/22 (Preview) The author of the reading for Monday, 2/22, relates that making decisions were impossible because the imposed standards were too high. They only wanted to make decisions that would get them exactly what they wanted, or they preferred not to make them at all. Over time, the author learned that deci...	Lyne	9	2028	Feb 23, 2021 by Debb
	Courage to Change February 17 (Preview) Hello MIP! In today's reading from C2C, the author shares that their own vision can be limited. Sometimes, it seems that the only possible outcomes are the ones we can imagine ourselves. In the author's case, thankfully, their Higher Power is not limited by the author's own lack of imagination. Som...	Skorpi	7	2753	Feb 22, 2021 by Maresie888
	A share... (Preview) I tend to dwell on the topics here- meditate on them. Absorb them. There was a topic last week about comparisons. For three or four days I encountered dissociation... [numbing, or brain fog.] I rode with is until it cleared. Did not feel compelled to get back to Step one- and start the slow climb a...	DavidG	2	3520	Feb 22, 2021 by Maresie888
	A Step 8 reading... (Preview) I am reading the Feb 8 reading from Hope for Today. It is a timely reminder for me, because it says that we could consider putting ourselves on the list of those we had harmed. Tonight I am going to a neighbouring meeting. The mainstay of the group can't come- because she is ill. Do I go and ta...	DavidG	10	2236	Feb 21, 2021 by Maresie888
	Hope for Today Feb 21 (Preview) Good morning everyone: Todays reading is about dealing with memories of past experiences, ones that are extremely difficult to accept and those that are more positive. The writer describes having found a safe place within alanon to deal with the pain of a childhood within a family affected by alcoh...	yanksfan51	8	2027	Feb 21, 2021 by SunnyFrogs
	C2C - 2/20 (Preview) Good morning MIP. Today's reading talks about unacceptable behavior. We hear early on that we don't have to accept unacceptable behavior. This helps each of us to determine what's acceptable vs. what is not. We certainly should never tolerate violence or abuse and the program helps us see we al...	Iamhere	4	1882	Feb 20, 2021 by SunnyFrogs
	February 19 - Courage to Change (Preview) Today's author obsessed over writing their Fourth Step inventory -- working on it around the clock and fearing they would leave something out. They discovered one of their character defects was obsession. This was a reminder that they could act as insanely as an alcoholic, even when completely s...	Freetime	4	323	Feb 19, 2021 by Iamhere
	February 18, 2021 – ODAT – Keep An Open Mind (Preview) Todays reading suggests that the Al-Anon program works if those who approach it keep an open mind and not expect overnight miracles. It goes on to remind us that it took years to create the situation we find ourselves in, and that if we are receptive and listen, instead ofbeing quick to judge, that we w...	Debb	9	409	Feb 19, 2021 by Daffodils
	Feeling lonely (Preview) So it's been nearly 5 months now since I asked my AH to leave, which he did. However, and maybe it's this seemingly neverending lockdown, but I feel lonelier than ever - even though I know that I was 'alone' even when I was with him. There are times when I feel good, but times when I find myself rememberi...	Bettertomorrow	10	2121	Feb 19, 2021 by Daffodils
	2/16 ODAT in AlAnon - (Preview) Today's page suggests that we progress substantially in our recovery when we see Alcoholism as a disease. It is often not seen as other diseases as it has no single, known cause, but can be just as destructive. We cannot cure it but are more likely able to help if we recognize it as a serious illness.Remi...	Enigmatic	7	1043	Feb 18, 2021 by Maresie888
	C2C, 2/15 (Preview) The reading for Monday, 2/15, talks about working the program and how one actually can accomplish this: -going to meetings and learning about alcoholism -reading the literature and listening -being around people who speak the alanon language -being patient and putting in effort Eventually prog...	Lyne	9	1419	Feb 17, 2021 by Maresie888
	Happy Valentines Day... (Preview) What a pleasant wonderful morning though I woke up after fruitless sleep. It was the usual PTSD sleep process, ages old with some workable changes. I dreamt of sessions I had in the past with my deceased sponsor Don.T. on the lessons of feelings being choices. When he first mentioned that to me I se...	JerryF	7	1401	Feb 15, 2021 by Iamhere
	Hope for Today Feb 14 (Preview) Good morning everyone: Todays reading is about the importance of simply listening to others when they are sharing. The writer describes walking with his wife and answering every statement she starts to make with a comparison from his own life. Most of her sentences were interrupted by her husband...	yanksfan51	3	1727	Feb 14, 2021 by Iamhere
	C2C Saturday (Preview) Today's Reminder: "A sponsor or trusted Al-Anon friend can help me see that I have value just as I am." The reading in Courage to Change today is about being an individual/comparing ourselves to others. Each snowflake is different... everyone has a unique thumbprint, and despite our common problem...	PosiesandPuppies	7	3827	Feb 14, 2021 by Iamhere
	Stiiiilll learning... (Preview) Worked last week on a project over on the coast. and had a happy weekend with my SO and pooch. A long holiday weekend for us. We had a domestic which lasted about 40 mins. This was a record for shortness. In the day these used to go on the weeks and months. Did a whole heap of washing last night. There is r...	DavidG	2	1731	Feb 14, 2021 by Lyne
	That familiar ol' feeling (Preview) It's been several long months since leaving my AH and in those months I've been staying with a dear friend who is like a sister to me. The clarity of looking back over the years and relationship was needed but (and I was warned about the possibility of this happening) but living with my friend has brought...	Paloma Negra	8	2539	Feb 13, 2021 by PosiesandPuppies
	AM ends (Preview) Got up this AM with work to do that I had pending for 3 days by inventory. I had to finish the inventory with some self centered behavior I relapsed into days ago. It didn't feel fair, just and honest and most of that was due to letting it linger. My mind body and spirit kept me focused on the subject and I...	JerryF	6	3229	Feb 13, 2021 by Lyne
	Courage to Change - February 12 - Detachment (Preview) Today's reading suggests that detachment is a choice we can make. The author noticed that it was easy to detach from the moods of casual friends -- but with family members, it was hard to avoid taking on someone's negative moods and attitudes. The solution was to pay attention to their own mood befor...	Freetime	5	2395	Feb 12, 2021 by Iamhere
	February 11, 2021 – ODAT – The First Step (Preview) The first of the twelve steps in Al-Anon, it is suggested, should leave no doubt where we stand when it comes to dealing withalcoholic situations. Admitting we are powerless over alcohol" might challenge our need to control the chaos, because weautomatically want to fix this, but the step goes on t...	Debb	5	2151	Feb 12, 2021 by JerryF
	January 21, 2021 – ODAT – Self -Pity & Resentment (Preview) Todays reading has to do with how clearly and honestly we see our present circumstances. The reading goes on to say that we should be at peace and not fall victim to harboring resentment and self-pity.The reading suggests that when we compare our lives with that of others that it is then that the destr...	Debb	16	4769	Feb 11, 2021 by DavidG
	Courage to Change February 10 (Preview) Hello MIP! In today's reading, the author shares about one of the effects of alcoholism - many of us have denied or devalued our talents, feelings, achievements, and desires. Through work in the Al-Anon program, we can learn to know, appreciate, and express our true selves. Imagination can take p...	Skorpi	5	3097	Feb 10, 2021 by DavidG
	2/9/21 ODAT in AlAnon – The ‘Why’ Doesn’t Matter… (Preview) Today's page encourages consideration of the futility of time spent trying to determine why the alcoholic drinks. Even if we had that info and limitless time and money to treat it clinically, there is no guaranty of success for their recovery.Reminder: The alcoholic can find recovery in the rooms o...	Enigmatic	9	2752	Feb 10, 2021 by DavidG
	Keep coming back it works when I work it... (Preview) This is the slogan that has protected my mind, body, spirit and emotions and was passed on to me right after my very first AGF meeting. It has caused me to understand Step One and in response have a much different life than when I started recovery around 2/8/79 and get totally involved on many levels inc...	JerryF	4	2634	Feb 9, 2021 by Iamhere
	Hope for Today Feb 7 (Preview) Good morning everyone- Todays reading is about comparing ourselves to others, in a competitive way, as a motivation to do better. The writer describes doing this in order to seek praise. The writer was judging others and him/herself harshly enough that ultimately no one measures up. Going to alan...	yanksfan51	4	2297	Feb 9, 2021 by Maresie888
	ODAT in alanon, 2/8 (Preview) The reading for Monday, 2/8, talks about seeing cheerful, smiling people when we first enter the rooms. We are astonished, says the author, as we didnt think it possible, if those people have the same problems we do. And down the road, we could even find out their problems are worse than mine! Remind...	Lyne	5	3346	Feb 9, 2021 by Maresie888
	Working it and it’s working (Preview) Sharing a positive moment I had this week. It was the clearest evidence Ive seen of the program working when you work it. I have a new boss. This always scares the heck out of me. I always worry their expectations wont line up with my needs, theyll think I suck at my job, theyll hate me and Ill lose my job. Mea...	sunmustshine	4	2482	Feb 7, 2021 by Lyne
	Oh, I suppose have another qualifier? (Preview) ??? A close friend... ...I have years of experience behind me. I can manage now. "Jack"...hmmm... in recent times I tend to say that the only qualifier I bring to a meeting is myself... ...not sure how this sits with Alanon... because sometimes I don't know where anything sits with everyone and eve...	DavidG	3	2318	Feb 7, 2021 by DavidG
	COURAGE TO CHANGE - SATURDAY (Preview) Dear Readers, Today's reading in Courage to Change was about our thinking, and how when distorted, we can try and force solutions. We tend to not want to wait-- we want things fixed NOW! However, many times, the best course of action is... inaction. Sometimes it is wise to wait and see. As the saying goe...	PosiesandPuppies	4	273	Feb 6, 2021 by Iamhere
	do you ever? (Preview) Do you ever feel like stopping time & not reflecting on the past so much? It has been almost exactly a month since I posted on here. I am dealing a lot w/ gratitude as a way to let go of the past a little. I don't want to focus on those things that made me feel horrible in the past & make each day count by b...	Hoot Nanny	4	1325	Feb 6, 2021 by PosiesandPuppies
	Family Topic - Question For Y'all (Preview) I have noticed that AH's side of the family, especially this year, did not recognize my birthday. Did not give it much thought as it was in October. AH's birthday is this coming Sunday and my parents sent him a card and gift, my daughter stopped by with a card and gift for him, his brothers and sister sent...	Debb	8	1792	Feb 5, 2021 by Maresie888
	Courage to Change - February 5 - When the Student is Ready (Preview) Today's reading explains that although we might wish that we -- or others -- had come to Al-Anon sooner, we each get here "right on schedule." The author quotes the saying, "When the student is ready, the teacher appears." They share that they attended their first Al-Anon meeting 20 years after fir...	Freetime	5	320	Feb 5, 2021 by Maresie888
	February 4, 2021 – ODAT – Self Deception (Preview) Todays ODAT reading suggests that we have to face the fact that when we look at the outside forcesfor the reasons for the trials we are experiencing, that the real reasons can be found within ourselves,hence the self deception. We maybe frustrated with the alcoholic in our lives, yet however diffic...	Debb	3	401	Feb 4, 2021 by Iamhere
	God grant me.... (Preview) I just had the most insane, circular, unproductive, half hour phone call with my A. It took me an entire half hour to say that I had to go. I am left feeling anxious, and I have back pain that developed during the call. God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change w...	Lyne	4	1566	Feb 4, 2021 by Iamhere
	R4902018 (More Recognizable as ODAT 2/2 - Power Greater, Back to Sanity) (Preview) Today's page considers Step 2 as the entry to 'understanding and growth' after accepting that we could not manage our lives under our power alone in Step 1. We now see as possible that a 'Power greater than ourselves could lead us to sanity'.Recognizing our own unreasonableness and humble position h...	Enigmatic	6	808	Feb 4, 2021 by Enigmatic
	Courage to Change February 3 (Preview) Today's author shares their initial thoughts about serenity, and how those thoughts changed over time. When the author first arrived at Al-Anon, they heard that the principles of the program could lead to serenity. The author, however, didn't want serenity - sitting on top of a mountaintop with a...	Skorpi	4	298	Feb 3, 2021 by Iamhere
	A Changed Attitude (Preview) Hi Everyone, Just wanted to share a different response to an ongoing problem in my home. We have had ongoing plumbing issues with neighbors above us which I have reported to management. Landlord is an alcoholic who is progressing. I've learned to contact property caretakers for a more immediate res...	tiredtonite	4	329	Feb 3, 2021 by Iamhere
	Island fever (Preview) Living on a small island is like living in a small town only you can't drive to a city. That latter difference can contribute a lot to island fever, where basically if you're not careful you can turn into a permanently snippy version of your fine self. I am suffering a little island fever. The collective...	a4l	3	368	Feb 3, 2021 by Iamhere
	Popping in to say HELLO! (Preview) Hello - been a LONG while since I've been here, you know how life gets busy and things fall away from us. I've never forgotten what a help this message board was for me in escaping the insanity my life had become. I recommend it often to people, but as you know, recommend is all we can do. I live alone, quietl...	likemyheart	5	310	Feb 3, 2021 by a4l
	Courage to Change Jan 30 - Not living by old fears (Preview) Good morning, dear readers! Today's reading in Courage to Change speaks about being able to live each day as it comes, to be free from living by old fears. Living with alcoholism in your family, one can learn that plans could change at any moment and that the "rules" varied accordingly. Many can devel...	PosiesandPuppies	11	365	Feb 3, 2021 by Maresie888
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.