Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

mamalioness · mamalioness

Some good things to avoid drama While searching the web for something completely different, I ran across this list of neutral responses... That's interesting.Let me think about that.Thank you for the information.Thank you for supporting me.I'll have to ponder that one.Wow.Hmmmmm.Golly-g...

Debb · Debb

Happy April 1st - MIP Family!Rhymes for April let me singThe pleasures of returning spring .Fools are made, by far the worst,On other days besides the First.~April Rhymes, The Comic Almanack for 1835by William Makepeace Thackeray, Albert Smith, Gilbert à Beckett and The Brothers MayhewTodays OD...

biosphere · biosphere

Hi All, Never thought I'd be here, but now that I am I'm very glad to see the community exists. I have a middle aged sibling who has significant multi organ damage from alcohol abuse. There's a reasonable chance of near term death due to the level of damage, but we're are as optimistic as we can be. Non...

Lyne · Lyne

The reading for Monday, 3/29, talks about being nicer to ourselves. The damaged self-esteem and the message that we are not good enough, comes from living with alcoholism. The writer recognized that these voices could be silenced! Alanon reminds us that we are lovable and can learn to love ourse...

Skorpi · Skorpi

In today's reading, the author reflects on the role of Al-Anon in the lives of folks who have lived with alcoholism. Al-Anon is the place where many grow up, learn to face the world as it is, and to take responsibility for actions. Members deal with feelings, share about experiences, and learn about th...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

Hi all, Ive fallen off the wagon and have been white knuckling it for too long. Im merely surviving again, this last year has me in my knees and face. Life with covid as a nurse working full time hasnt been easy, life with two foster teens this last year hasnt been easy and everything else is falling away. I...

Debb · Debb

Silence, it is suggested, is a blessing when used in times of reflection and meditation, but if used as a way to punish the alcoholic,as to avoid confrontation, can be, "A grim and furious silence" that "can be more crushing and wounding than harsh words". Underthose circumstances, it is suggested...

Skorpi · Skorpi

In today's reading in C2C, the author shares about the moment they were able to accept that alcoholism is a disease, which allowed them to more easily separate the person from the disease. The author had been convinced that their loved one could stop drinking if they wanted to, after all, the author t...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning everyone: Todays reading is about the feeling of safety that comes from alanon. The writer describes a childhood that featured all of the chaos of an alcoholic home, including a feeling that everyone (including the alcoholic parents) were children together. The writer describes be...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

Like many, when today's author first heard Alanon's suggestion that we keep the focus on ourselves, not the alcoholic, they thought that sounded like what they accused the alcoholic of being: inconsiderate, thoughtless, and uncaring. 'That's not who I am' they thought, they were generous and car...

WendyP · WendyP

I have started to, not only find Courage but also put into practice, as I have found sharing on MIP, putting my thoughts, feelings, and my Stories, and myself out there not easy, or comfortable. I have looked at why, and I am making, allowing myself to be very vunerable. But when I look at the other side o...

mamalioness · mamalioness

Hey Everyone!!! Hope you all are OK...I am working through a lot of stuff, I had some really tough health issues with stored pain causing back spasms so I got into physical therapy with the help of a trainer and my own research and my back is responding Add to that reading some GREAT books sent to me by a rec...

DavidG · DavidG

...home after a 2 week furlough. We never had holidays- always harvesting fruit through the summer. And hay. I found it really hard to take leave and to relax. Watched our city of Awkvegas [Auckland] come out lock-down... ...with a big yacht race. We got backpackers rates at a high end apartment- bec...

Freetime · Freetime

Today's reading in One Day at a Time in Al-Anon delves into powerlessness as expressed in Step One. Although we might quibble over whether it means we are powerless over alcohol or over the alcoholic -- it is of course both. But we do have the power to change our own lives. We do not have to submit to degr...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Posting tomorrow's daily tonight as I am volunteering in the morning followed by golf in the afternoon. The reading discusses how the traditions of Al-Anon Family Groups help us learn how a healthy family group functions. When problems involving others arise, we can turn to the Traditions for gu...

DavidG · DavidG

...should we wait until November to talk about Step 11? If we are learning the steps- yes- likely that is a good idea. But when we are "practising these principals in all our affairs" we can turn to the step we need- for the moment. In my view, anyway. This week I was reflecting on the "meet" in meeting....

john_jpd · john_jpd

I'm so glad there is place like this where there are people who understand this terrible disease. I had a brother who lived with me and was an alcoholic. He died recently this past August from end stage liver failure at the age of 57. I'm having tremendous problems dealing with it. He knew he had liver...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

A powerful spiritual concept in Alanon is that I am no better than the alcoholic and untreated, exhibit some of the same character defects I accused them of having. Today's reading specifically addresses manipulation and control.If I honestly assess my own behavior, I won't have to look far to see w...

Wolfie55 · Wolfie55

Upon awakening, I think about the twenty-four hours ahead. I consider my plans for the day. Before I begin, I ask God to direct my thinking. I read from Courage to Change and from another book. Then, I reach into my god-box and pull out a word or sometimes it's a slogan. Today is was Easy Does It...But Do It...

Lyne · Lyne

In the reading for Monday, 3/22, the author discusses how worrying becomes the norm. Its a habit difficult to shake off even if we know it serves no purpose. We think about yesterday and tomorrow, and miss the day we have. In alanon we can learn to free ourselves from worry, if we concentrate on a mana...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning Everyone- Todays reading is about what we gravitate toward, what our attitudes do to perception, and the choices we can make. The writer begins by stating that we dont necessarily veer toward what is good for us, but rather what is familiar. In the writers case, negative thinking was p...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Good morning MIP. Today's reading is about self-worth, one of the topics in the Fourth Step guide in the Blueprint for Progress literature. Working though the step, the author found that they had always judged their value on the basis of accomplishments or what others said. Thus, the author work...

cranberry · cranberry

My AH has been an alcoholic for a long time, longer than the 13 yrs we've been together. We've been on the roller coaster, rehab, bouts of heavy drinking, 5 yrs sobriety, and hospital stays. The past year has been awful and 2021 is not off to a great start. He's become so angry and violent. He's only bee...

Youknowme · Youknowme

Hi peeps. Mel here. I was a member of this forum a few years ago, and the fellowship of this board helped me to leave an abusive relationship. I've been doing OK since- my kid is doing great and I feel like I am thriving. I come here today to talk about my brother Jimmy. My mother has just expressed to me that s...

WendyP · WendyP

I would like to share on my earlier journey with Detachment. I am no longer living with the active phase of Alcoholism, and haven't for some time. I still have a lot of Family members who have both sides of it, the effects and Active. So Detachment is still very important to me. From my earlier Marriage wi...

Freetime · Freetime

Judgmental -- The writer of today's page doesn't use that word, but describes a compulsion with focusing on other people, and knowing exactly how other people should behave. By always trying to impose their own rules on others, the writer was neglecting their own life. We don't know what is best for...

Debb · Debb

Todays ODAT reading discusses living with an alcoholic and the subsequent distortion in our thinking,in particular how it can lead to blaming all our problems on the bottle." It is that distortion/blamethat blurs the "truth that we must look within ourselves in order to take responsibility for o...

JerryF · JerryF

I've been sleeping with a wide open mind for the last few days and why? The ladies of Al-Anon thats why. I will always be beyond grateful to the program and to the ladies who were here and caught me wandering around the front doors looking for ???? As I've mentioned, if there was one thing I knew when I...

Skorpi · Skorpi

Hello MIP! Today's reading from C2C reminds us that no problem lasts forever. No matter how large or central a problem may seem, like other experiences in our ever-changing life, it is sure to pass. Each experience can help us grow because difficult situations bring out qualities that might not ha...

SunnyFrogs · SunnyFrogs

I'm just curious,do you guys practice detachment on a full time basis with an A or just as needed? I'm getting much better at detaching when AH is in a funk. He does have good days and can be quite charming,fun,kind,etc. On those days I've been engaging. The thing is though, I am finding myself feeling...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

'Acceptance and surrender open all doors to AlAnon'...pretty powerful statement in today's reading, and a problem if we believe they meaning simply giving in or letting someone roll us.If I'm using the concepts as Alanon intended, Acceptance involves admitting there exist things we cannot chan...

DavidG · DavidG

I am always terrified of getting things wrong. Of course one person might say it is wrong- and the next person say it was okay. I was kicked out of home- after sticking up for my kid sister. For me it was a betrayal. A devastating experience. It was the last straw- that changed the course of my life. I be...

mamamary1964 · mamamary1964

So, last week we told our daughter she had to leave if she wouldn't get help. We talked and she actually said she wanted to go and had a safe place to stay. All was peaceful - until yesterday! She called her father and asked to come home, he told her yes if she would follow the rules. She came home, I typed...

Lyne · Lyne

The reading for Monday, 3/15, explores the act of forgiveness. The writer used to think that forgiveness gave them power and control over others. The thinking changed when they realized that behaving self-righteously only gave them suffering! This happens when we separate ourselves from fel...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning everyone- In todays reading the writer remembers hearing about the twelve steps being broken into four categories: steps 1-3 about giving up (admitting powerlessness), steps 4-6 about owning up (accountability), 7-9 about making up (amends) and 10-12 about keeping up (working at p...

Wolfie55 · Wolfie55

Couple weeks ago, Nancy's daughter passed away. Heart attack. That was rough. The family came together and took care of each other. Last week, I lost a cousin who died suddenly from an aneurysm. So, I don't always like or understand god's plan for me. I take comfort knowing He walks beside me and like th...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading discusses Step Seven - Humbly asked HiWm to remove our shortcomings." Often times, we consider this step with seriousness, dread and humility. Instead, we are asked to consider joy and even humor. The author suggests that a sign that we've actually gotten humble enough to ask our...

Debb · Debb

Todays ODAT talks about living in the days of calamity and hysteria, when alcoholism rules the way we lived and approachedour daily lives. But now that we have found Al-Anon we have the opportunity to see our problems with a better sense ofproportion and balance.Todays Reminder:Now that I am in Al-...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Good morning MIP and happy Saturday. Today's reading talks about getting our needs met and asking for help. Many of us, BR (Before Recovery), expected those close to us to know what we were feeling without us telling them. When we were angry and wanted to argue, sometimes we silently fumed. When w...

Freetime · Freetime

I couldn't decide which reading I like better, so I will share both. ODAT for March 12 says that we can be just as sick as alcoholics, with an obsession to "save" them. For our well-being, we need to learn that we cannot live another's life. When we focus on ourselves, this reading suggests, it is more...

Skorpi · Skorpi

Hello MIP! In today's reading from C2C, the author reflects on their Al-Anon work of reversing old ways of thinking. The author had been in the habit of playing it safe, avoiding risk, and avoiding painful feelings. However, life is one risk after another, and some amount of pain is unavoidable. Ra...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

Today's page looks at a symptom of our sickness: anger and condemnation toward others, justified by a (likely unrecognized) belief that what we do is right and what others do is wrong. These (seemingly) uncontrollable outbursts offer a kind of relief, but pay us poorly over time.Reminder: When I lo...

Lyne · Lyne

The reading for Monday, 3/8, describes a vivid picture of how many of us were, upon arrival in alanon: discouraged mind, tormenting ourself, thinking in circles, feeling like there was no air, and feeling tangled and confused. Nothing seemed straight or clear. Many of us were in a constant state...

TeaP · TeaP

I have known my spouse to be an alcoholic for a decade. It became obvious his behavior was apparent to everyone- when preschool called 5yrs ago. Despite promises and low dark moments, he wont seek help. Where his low point lies- is much farther than I can follow. I reached my breaking point with him at t...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning Everyone: In todays reading the writer describes being surprised at something heard at a meeting: that we (friends and family of alcoholics) can find contentment and even happiness whether the alcoholic is still drinking or not. Like many of us who came to alanon, the writer figured th...

Maresie888 · Maresie888

I canot believe it has been one year since Betty's untimely death. One year ago I wrote about feeling that Betty showed me great kindness and patience when I was in a terrible place. That dark hole that had swallowed me up when I first came to al anon. One year later I am writing that Betty showed me it wa...

SunnyFrogs · SunnyFrogs

I'm grateful for: A roof over my head Food/heat and all the basic necessities that we all take for granted All my loved ones My dog This place How about you? What are you grateful for today?

DavidG · DavidG

I always wanted to belong. To a family and to a community. I tried to force solutions- because i was so desperate. So wanting to escape deep my sense of abandonment. This group has a business board where we can discuss group based issues. It is used from time to time. I practise a certain amount o...

Bbrave · Bbrave

Thought I had forgiven everything, but the latest crisis caused by alcoholism feels unforgivable. Every day I ask my Higher Power to HELP me overcome the hurt. Any advice out there on forgiveness?

mamamary1964 · mamamary1964

So I told my daughter to get help or she has to live somewhere else. It is tearing my family apart. My husband (a recovered alcoholic) has had 2 strokes and cancer and is a broken man, we can't do it anymore. My son, a recovered addict himself, is having a really hard time living with his sister and I can'...

Freetime · Freetime

Today's reading talks about willingness to have our shortcomings removed. The writer was concerned that without their character defects, they would be missing something. On working steps Four through Seven, it turned out that for every defect removed, an asset was uncovered. Letting go of the...

Youknowme · Youknowme

At the start of the covid crisis, (in Australia) my daughter left home. She wanted to be with her boyfriend, and the lockdown rules said that they couldn't see each other. She was gone for weeks; I was so sad. She brought me flowers a few times; it was sweet. I have OCD so when we had covid in Australia, I wa...

mamamary1964 · mamamary1964

I am struggling with an addicted daughter who is out of control. She totaled her car last week and the next day went out and financed another. Now because of her horrific driving record she cannot afford the insurance and wants my husband and I to cosign the loan so she can go back on ours (where she has b...

duffs · duffs

Hi everyone Thanks in advance for your support. I met my partner just under a year ago Within a few months it was obvs his drinking was a problem and he stopped in March. He told me he'd been in rehab years back but got lazy with going to AA, started casually drinking again but he does know deep down he can nev...

Debb · Debb

Todays ODAT reading speaks about when within the developments of sobriety in a family that it is not always magical and contentment. Resentments carried forward from the past may/will surface and it is suggested thatwe must be on guard and have patience that we do not lapse into feeling sorry for o...

DavidG · DavidG

After a weekend workshop. Well! Actually at the workshop... we are challenged to take the message on. I use the internet a lot- and I chose this clip- to present the programme to my local community. I was a part of building a community facebook profile- and we present all aspects of community l...

DavidG · DavidG

What next? I asked myself? 38 years in the programme so far. I have joined a network of old-timers really. Last weekend I went to an Alanon Study Day. I am a 50'd baby boomer, when I am not in the rooms. I want change- and I want it fast! One of the components on my home group breaking up- was the fact that...

Skorpi · Skorpi

Hello MIP! In today's reading, the author reflects on the result of their Step 4 Inventory. For the author, the result was realizing that much of their behavior was immature, and a gift of the step 4 inventory was a set of goals to work toward with the help of the Al-Anon program. The author's goals incl...

runaway2020 · runaway2020

Hello, I have been with my husband for 25 years. In that time there has been repeated problems surrounding his drinking. In the past he would drink daily (a few a night and weekends he would go out and get drunk, then drive home after the bars closed closed). After a time of me expressing my concerns over t...

Maresie888 · Maresie888

Thank you all for your kind feedback. I do feel that I have moved to a new level in grieving our dear friend. That was not a level I got to with many people. Growing up in an abusive home meant that the death of my parents caused ambivalence. That is yet another loss in the virtual absence of my parents. I di...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Some good things to say and actions to avoid drama (Preview) Some good things to avoid drama While searching the web for something completely different, I ran across this list of neutral responses... That's interesting.Let me think about that.Thank you for the information.Thank you for supporting me.I'll have to ponder that one.Wow.Hmmmmm.Golly-g...	mamalioness	8	2562	Apr 4, 2021 by mamalioness
	April 1, 2021 – ODAT – Contentment (Preview) Happy April 1st - MIP Family!Rhymes for April let me singThe pleasures of returning spring .Fools are made, by far the worst,On other days besides the First.~April Rhymes, The Comic Almanack for 1835by William Makepeace Thackeray, Albert Smith, Gilbert à Beckett and The Brothers MayhewTodays OD...	Debb	8	1448	Apr 2, 2021 by DavidG
	Strategies for working with Enabling Partners who themselves are Alcoholics Enabler Strategy Communications Partner (Preview) Hi All, Never thought I'd be here, but now that I am I'm very glad to see the community exists. I have a middle aged sibling who has significant multi organ damage from alcohol abuse. There's a reasonable chance of near term death due to the level of damage, but we're are as optimistic as we can be. Non...	biosphere	7	5665	Apr 1, 2021 by Maresie888
	C2C, 3/29 (Preview) The reading for Monday, 3/29, talks about being nicer to ourselves. The damaged self-esteem and the message that we are not good enough, comes from living with alcoholism. The writer recognized that these voices could be silenced! Alanon reminds us that we are lovable and can learn to love ourse...	Lyne	5	698	Apr 1, 2021 by Maresie888
	Courage to Change March 31 (Preview) In today's reading, the author reflects on the role of Al-Anon in the lives of folks who have lived with alcoholism. Al-Anon is the place where many grow up, learn to face the world as it is, and to take responsibility for actions. Members deal with feelings, share about experiences, and learn about th...	Skorpi	7	1596	Apr 1, 2021 by Maresie888
	It’s been a long time! (Preview) Hi all, Ive fallen off the wagon and have been white knuckling it for too long. Im merely surviving again, this last year has me in my knees and face. Life with covid as a nurse working full time hasnt been easy, life with two foster teens this last year hasnt been easy and everything else is falling away. I...	Breakingfree	16	4091	Mar 31, 2021 by mamalioness
	March 25, 2021 – ODAT – How to properly use Silence (Preview) Silence, it is suggested, is a blessing when used in times of reflection and meditation, but if used as a way to punish the alcoholic,as to avoid confrontation, can be, "A grim and furious silence" that "can be more crushing and wounding than harsh words". Underthose circumstances, it is suggested...	Debb	4	755	Mar 31, 2021 by Maresie888
	Courage to Change March 24 (Preview) In today's reading in C2C, the author shares about the moment they were able to accept that alcoholism is a disease, which allowed them to more easily separate the person from the disease. The author had been convinced that their loved one could stop drinking if they wanted to, after all, the author t...	Skorpi	8	1582	Mar 31, 2021 by Maresie888
	Hope for Today March 28 (Preview) Good morning everyone: Todays reading is about the feeling of safety that comes from alanon. The writer describes a childhood that featured all of the chaos of an alcoholic home, including a feeling that everyone (including the alcoholic parents) were children together. The writer describes be...	yanksfan51	7	3241	Mar 31, 2021 by Maresie888
	3/30/21 Courage to Change - Focus on Ourselves, Unloving? (Preview) Like many, when today's author first heard Alanon's suggestion that we keep the focus on ourselves, not the alcoholic, they thought that sounded like what they accused the alcoholic of being: inconsiderate, thoughtless, and uncaring. 'That's not who I am' they thought, they were generous and car...	Enigmatic	6	1634	Mar 31, 2021 by mamalioness
	The Power of Recovery. (Preview) I have started to, not only find Courage but also put into practice, as I have found sharing on MIP, putting my thoughts, feelings, and my Stories, and myself out there not easy, or comfortable. I have looked at why, and I am making, allowing myself to be very vunerable. But when I look at the other side o...	WendyP	5	1344	Mar 29, 2021 by mamalioness
	No!! I did not die..Just LOADS on my plate and I missed you all (Preview) Hey Everyone!!! Hope you all are OK...I am working through a lot of stuff, I had some really tough health issues with stored pain causing back spasms so I got into physical therapy with the help of a trainer and my own research and my back is responding Add to that reading some GREAT books sent to me by a rec...	mamalioness	10	657	Mar 29, 2021 by mamalioness
	Step 12 ... (Preview) ...home after a 2 week furlough. We never had holidays- always harvesting fruit through the summer. And hay. I found it really hard to take leave and to relax. Watched our city of Awkvegas [Auckland] come out lock-down... ...with a big yacht race. We got backpackers rates at a high end apartment- bec...	DavidG	5	625	Mar 29, 2021 by DavidG
	ODAT - March 26 - Powerlessness and Acceptance (Preview) Today's reading in One Day at a Time in Al-Anon delves into powerlessness as expressed in Step One. Although we might quibble over whether it means we are powerless over alcohol or over the alcoholic -- it is of course both. But we do have the power to change our own lives. We do not have to submit to degr...	Freetime	9	3651	Mar 28, 2021 by DavidG
	C2C 3/26 (Preview) Posting tomorrow's daily tonight as I am volunteering in the morning followed by golf in the afternoon. The reading discusses how the traditions of Al-Anon Family Groups help us learn how a healthy family group functions. When problems involving others arise, we can turn to the Traditions for gu...	Iamhere	6	928	Mar 28, 2021 by mamalioness
	Where is the "meet" in meeting. Step 11. (Preview) ...should we wait until November to talk about Step 11? If we are learning the steps- yes- likely that is a good idea. But when we are "practising these principals in all our affairs" we can turn to the step we need- for the moment. In my view, anyway. This week I was reflecting on the "meet" in meeting....	DavidG	5	780	Mar 28, 2021 by PosiesandPuppies
	Brother's Death from Liver Failure-Guilt (Preview) I'm so glad there is place like this where there are people who understand this terrible disease. I had a brother who lived with me and was an alcoholic. He died recently this past August from end stage liver failure at the age of 57. I'm having tremendous problems dealing with it. He knew he had liver...	john_jpd	29	5424	Mar 27, 2021 by Debb
	3/23/21 ODAT in Alanon – Our Own Manipulation (Preview) A powerful spiritual concept in Alanon is that I am no better than the alcoholic and untreated, exhibit some of the same character defects I accused them of having. Today's reading specifically addresses manipulation and control.If I honestly assess my own behavior, I won't have to look far to see w...	Enigmatic	3	744	Mar 23, 2021 by Iamhere
	Easy Does It...But Do It (Preview) Upon awakening, I think about the twenty-four hours ahead. I consider my plans for the day. Before I begin, I ask God to direct my thinking. I read from Courage to Change and from another book. Then, I reach into my god-box and pull out a word or sometimes it's a slogan. Today is was Easy Does It...But Do It...	Wolfie55	4	4465	Mar 23, 2021 by a4l
	ODAT in alanon, 3/22 (Preview) In the reading for Monday, 3/22, the author discusses how worrying becomes the norm. Its a habit difficult to shake off even if we know it serves no purpose. We think about yesterday and tomorrow, and miss the day we have. In alanon we can learn to free ourselves from worry, if we concentrate on a mana...	Lyne	6	1371	Mar 22, 2021 by Iamhere
	Hope for Today Mar 21 (Preview) Good morning Everyone- Todays reading is about what we gravitate toward, what our attitudes do to perception, and the choices we can make. The writer begins by stating that we dont necessarily veer toward what is good for us, but rather what is familiar. In the writers case, negative thinking was p...	yanksfan51	8	1463	Mar 22, 2021 by Debb
	C2C - 3/20 (Preview) Good morning MIP. Today's reading is about self-worth, one of the topics in the Fourth Step guide in the Blueprint for Progress literature. Working though the step, the author found that they had always judged their value on the basis of accomplishments or what others said. Thus, the author work...	Iamhere	5	779	Mar 21, 2021 by SunnyFrogs
	Good Mom? Bad Mom? Bad Wife (Preview) My AH has been an alcoholic for a long time, longer than the 13 yrs we've been together. We've been on the roller coaster, rehab, bouts of heavy drinking, 5 yrs sobriety, and hospital stays. The past year has been awful and 2021 is not off to a great start. He's become so angry and violent. He's only bee...	cranberry	6	2959	Mar 20, 2021 by sunmustshine
	My Brother Jimmy (Preview) Hi peeps. Mel here. I was a member of this forum a few years ago, and the fellowship of this board helped me to leave an abusive relationship. I've been doing OK since- my kid is doing great and I feel like I am thriving. I come here today to talk about my brother Jimmy. My mother has just expressed to me that s...	Youknowme	8	5632	Mar 20, 2021 by sunmustshine
	More on Detachment (Preview) I would like to share on my earlier journey with Detachment. I am no longer living with the active phase of Alcoholism, and haven't for some time. I still have a lot of Family members who have both sides of it, the effects and Active. So Detachment is still very important to me. From my earlier Marriage wi...	WendyP	6	1903	Mar 20, 2021 by sunmustshine
	Courage to Change, March 19 - Judgement (Preview) Judgmental -- The writer of today's page doesn't use that word, but describes a compulsion with focusing on other people, and knowing exactly how other people should behave. By always trying to impose their own rules on others, the writer was neglecting their own life. We don't know what is best for...	Freetime	6	1360	Mar 19, 2021 by SunnyFrogs
	March 18, 2021 – ODAT – Truth (Preview) Todays ODAT reading discusses living with an alcoholic and the subsequent distortion in our thinking,in particular how it can lead to blaming all our problems on the bottle." It is that distortion/blamethat blurs the "truth that we must look within ourselves in order to take responsibility for o...	Debb	4	4576	Mar 18, 2021 by JerryF
	Ladies of Recovery (Preview) I've been sleeping with a wide open mind for the last few days and why? The ladies of Al-Anon thats why. I will always be beyond grateful to the program and to the ladies who were here and caught me wandering around the front doors looking for ???? As I've mentioned, if there was one thing I knew when I...	JerryF	6	2232	Mar 18, 2021 by Iamhere
	Courage to Change March 17 (Preview) Hello MIP! Today's reading from C2C reminds us that no problem lasts forever. No matter how large or central a problem may seem, like other experiences in our ever-changing life, it is sure to pass. Each experience can help us grow because difficult situations bring out qualities that might not ha...	Skorpi	4	645	Mar 17, 2021 by DavidG
	Detaching As Needed Or Full Time? (Preview) I'm just curious,do you guys practice detachment on a full time basis with an A or just as needed? I'm getting much better at detaching when AH is in a funk. He does have good days and can be quite charming,fun,kind,etc. On those days I've been engaging. The thing is though, I am finding myself feeling...	SunnyFrogs	27	4526	Mar 16, 2021 by DavidG
	3/16/21 ODAT in AlAnon – Acceptance, Surrender…Weakness? (Preview) 'Acceptance and surrender open all doors to AlAnon'...pretty powerful statement in today's reading, and a problem if we believe they meaning simply giving in or letting someone roll us.If I'm using the concepts as Alanon intended, Acceptance involves admitting there exist things we cannot chan...	Enigmatic	4	4856	Mar 16, 2021 by Iamhere
	Boundaries in Alanon- fear... (Preview) I am always terrified of getting things wrong. Of course one person might say it is wrong- and the next person say it was okay. I was kicked out of home- after sticking up for my kid sister. For me it was a betrayal. A devastating experience. It was the last straw- that changed the course of my life. I be...	DavidG	6	774	Mar 16, 2021 by DavidG
	She's Back (Preview) So, last week we told our daughter she had to leave if she wouldn't get help. We talked and she actually said she wanted to go and had a safe place to stay. All was peaceful - until yesterday! She called her father and asked to come home, he told her yes if she would follow the rules. She came home, I typed...	mamamary1964	17	4362	Mar 15, 2021 by mamamary1964
	C2C, 3/15 (Preview) The reading for Monday, 3/15, explores the act of forgiveness. The writer used to think that forgiveness gave them power and control over others. The thinking changed when they realized that behaving self-righteously only gave them suffering! This happens when we separate ourselves from fel...	Lyne	3	2414	Mar 15, 2021 by Iamhere
	Hope for Today March 14 (Preview) Good morning everyone- In todays reading the writer remembers hearing about the twelve steps being broken into four categories: steps 1-3 about giving up (admitting powerlessness), steps 4-6 about owning up (accountability), 7-9 about making up (amends) and 10-12 about keeping up (working at p...	yanksfan51	4	3496	Mar 14, 2021 by SunnyFrogs
	Lemons and Peaches (Preview) Couple weeks ago, Nancy's daughter passed away. Heart attack. That was rough. The family came together and took care of each other. Last week, I lost a cousin who died suddenly from an aneurysm. So, I don't always like or understand god's plan for me. I take comfort knowing He walks beside me and like th...	Wolfie55	6	685	Mar 14, 2021 by JerryF
	C2C 3/13 (Preview) Today's reading discusses Step Seven - Humbly asked HiWm to remove our shortcomings." Often times, we consider this step with seriousness, dread and humility. Instead, we are asked to consider joy and even humor. The author suggests that a sign that we've actually gotten humble enough to ask our...	Iamhere	3	1743	Mar 14, 2021 by Lyne
	March 11, 2021 – ODAT – We No Longer Despair (Preview) Todays ODAT talks about living in the days of calamity and hysteria, when alcoholism rules the way we lived and approachedour daily lives. But now that we have found Al-Anon we have the opportunity to see our problems with a better sense ofproportion and balance.Todays Reminder:Now that I am in Al-...	Debb	6	3583	Mar 13, 2021 by Maresie888
	Courage to Change 3/6 (Preview) Good morning MIP and happy Saturday. Today's reading talks about getting our needs met and asking for help. Many of us, BR (Before Recovery), expected those close to us to know what we were feeling without us telling them. When we were angry and wanted to argue, sometimes we silently fumed. When w...	Iamhere	2	1982	Mar 13, 2021 by Lyne
	March 12 - C2C and ODAT (Preview) I couldn't decide which reading I like better, so I will share both. ODAT for March 12 says that we can be just as sick as alcoholics, with an obsession to "save" them. For our well-being, we need to learn that we cannot live another's life. When we focus on ourselves, this reading suggests, it is more...	Freetime	4	914	Mar 12, 2021 by Iamhere
	Courage to Change March 10 (Preview) Hello MIP! In today's reading from C2C, the author reflects on their Al-Anon work of reversing old ways of thinking. The author had been in the habit of playing it safe, avoiding risk, and avoiding painful feelings. However, life is one risk after another, and some amount of pain is unavoidable. Ra...	Skorpi	6	781	Mar 10, 2021 by JerryF
	3/9/21 ODAT in AlAnon – Anger (Preview) Today's page looks at a symptom of our sickness: anger and condemnation toward others, justified by a (likely unrecognized) belief that what we do is right and what others do is wrong. These (seemingly) uncontrollable outbursts offer a kind of relief, but pay us poorly over time.Reminder: When I lo...	Enigmatic	6	626	Mar 9, 2021 by DavidG
	ODAT in alanon, 3/8 (Preview) The reading for Monday, 3/8, describes a vivid picture of how many of us were, upon arrival in alanon: discouraged mind, tormenting ourself, thinking in circles, feeling like there was no air, and feeling tangled and confused. Nothing seemed straight or clear. Many of us were in a constant state...	Lyne	6	551	Mar 9, 2021 by SunnyFrogs
	Moving forward? Or standing still? (Preview) I have known my spouse to be an alcoholic for a decade. It became obvious his behavior was apparent to everyone- when preschool called 5yrs ago. Despite promises and low dark moments, he wont seek help. Where his low point lies- is much farther than I can follow. I reached my breaking point with him at t...	TeaP	4	763	Mar 9, 2021 by Iamhere
	Hope for Today March 7 (Preview) Good morning Everyone: In todays reading the writer describes being surprised at something heard at a meeting: that we (friends and family of alcoholics) can find contentment and even happiness whether the alcoholic is still drinking or not. Like many of us who came to alanon, the writer figured th...	yanksfan51	6	2016	Mar 7, 2021 by Iamhere
	Betty 2021 (Preview) I canot believe it has been one year since Betty's untimely death. One year ago I wrote about feeling that Betty showed me great kindness and patience when I was in a terrible place. That dark hole that had swallowed me up when I first came to al anon. One year later I am writing that Betty showed me it wa...	Maresie888	9	1416	Mar 7, 2021 by DavidG
	Today I Am Grateful... (Preview) I'm grateful for: A roof over my head Food/heat and all the basic necessities that we all take for granted All my loved ones My dog This place How about you? What are you grateful for today?	SunnyFrogs	10	642	Mar 7, 2021 by PosiesandPuppies
	Group conscience- thoughts and hopes... Tradition 2. (Preview) I always wanted to belong. To a family and to a community. I tried to force solutions- because i was so desperate. So wanting to escape deep my sense of abandonment. This group has a business board where we can discuss group based issues. It is used from time to time. I practise a certain amount o...	DavidG	2	561	Mar 7, 2021 by Lyne
	Forgiving my AH (Preview) Thought I had forgiven everything, but the latest crisis caused by alcoholism feels unforgivable. Every day I ask my Higher Power to HELP me overcome the hurt. Any advice out there on forgiveness?	Bbrave	10	1971	Mar 7, 2021 by duffs
	Set my boundaries but feeling sick over it (Preview) So I told my daughter to get help or she has to live somewhere else. It is tearing my family apart. My husband (a recovered alcoholic) has had 2 strokes and cancer and is a broken man, we can't do it anymore. My son, a recovered addict himself, is having a really hard time living with his sister and I can'...	mamamary1964	8	1766	Mar 6, 2021 by Maresie888
	Courage to Change, March 5 - To Remove Our Shortcomings (Preview) Today's reading talks about willingness to have our shortcomings removed. The writer was concerned that without their character defects, they would be missing something. On working steps Four through Seven, it turned out that for every defect removed, an asset was uncovered. Letting go of the...	Freetime	9	2625	Mar 5, 2021 by DavidG
	And while we are at it (Preview) At the start of the covid crisis, (in Australia) my daughter left home. She wanted to be with her boyfriend, and the lockdown rules said that they couldn't see each other. She was gone for weeks; I was so sad. She brought me flowers a few times; it was sweet. I have OCD so when we had covid in Australia, I wa...	Youknowme	1	1831	Mar 5, 2021 by Debb
	The Addict and the Law (Preview) I am struggling with an addicted daughter who is out of control. She totaled her car last week and the next day went out and financed another. Now because of her horrific driving record she cannot afford the insurance and wants my husband and I to cosign the loan so she can go back on ours (where she has b...	mamamary1964	6	1546	Mar 5, 2021 by TeaP
	My partner has fallen off the wagon- I'm a newbie ! (Preview) Hi everyone Thanks in advance for your support. I met my partner just under a year ago Within a few months it was obvs his drinking was a problem and he stopped in March. He told me he'd been in rehab years back but got lazy with going to AA, started casually drinking again but he does know deep down he can nev...	duffs	15	3606	Mar 4, 2021 by duffs
	March 4, 2021 – ODAT – Guarding Against Impatience (Preview) Todays ODAT reading speaks about when within the developments of sobriety in a family that it is not always magical and contentment. Resentments carried forward from the past may/will surface and it is suggested thatwe must be on guard and have patience that we do not lapse into feeling sorry for o...	Debb	5	789	Mar 4, 2021 by duffs
	Learning to pass it on... (Preview) After a weekend workshop. Well! Actually at the workshop... we are challenged to take the message on. I use the internet a lot- and I chose this clip- to present the programme to my local community. I was a part of building a community facebook profile- and we present all aspects of community l...	DavidG	1	1523	Mar 3, 2021 by Debb
	Mystory... Step one and step ten... (Preview) What next? I asked myself? 38 years in the programme so far. I have joined a network of old-timers really. Last weekend I went to an Alanon Study Day. I am a 50'd baby boomer, when I am not in the rooms. I want change- and I want it fast! One of the components on my home group breaking up- was the fact that...	DavidG	1	1447	Mar 3, 2021 by Debb
	Courage to Change March 3 (Preview) Hello MIP! In today's reading, the author reflects on the result of their Step 4 Inventory. For the author, the result was realizing that much of their behavior was immature, and a gift of the step 4 inventory was a set of goals to work toward with the help of the Al-Anon program. The author's goals incl...	Skorpi	3	1975	Mar 3, 2021 by Debb
	Boundaries help. New here (Preview) Hello, I have been with my husband for 25 years. In that time there has been repeated problems surrounding his drinking. In the past he would drink daily (a few a night and weekends he would go out and get drunk, then drive home after the bars closed closed). After a time of me expressing my concerns over t...	runaway2020	9	2699	Mar 3, 2021 by Skorpi
	Betty 2021 (Preview) Thank you all for your kind feedback. I do feel that I have moved to a new level in grieving our dear friend. That was not a level I got to with many people. Growing up in an abusive home meant that the death of my parents caused ambivalence. That is yet another loss in the virtual absence of my parents. I di...	Maresie888	2	604	Mar 2, 2021 by DavidG
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.