In today's reading, the author reflects on the power of their imagination. Invited to speak at a different meeting, the author conjured up a large group of serious Al-Anon members meeting in a perfect location with a perfect meeting format. The author's role in this visualization was as the guest speaker, uttering a daunting barrage of wise words at the exact right moment in the perfectly planned meeting. 

What actually happened was quite different. The author reflects that everything that could have gone wrong did go wrong - the meeting location was temporary, the group small, the secretary a substitute, the scripted format lost. The author decided that their HP had a sense of humor and had substituted enough familiar elements through the spontaneity of the make-shift meeting that the author felt right at home. The author's concepts of the importance of their role and of the meeting itself dissipated, and the author realized that the "important" meeting was just a group of Al-Anon members gathered together in fellowship, doing their best to muddle through and lend each other a helping hand. 

Today's Reminder: I give thanks for the ways my Higher Power finds to cut my pretensions down to size. When I can laugh a little, I feel less afraid. 

Today's Quote: I want to remember, every time Im tempted to take a heavy, somber view of a happening, that it may not be so bad after all . . . Ill cultivate a knack for recognizing and enjoying humorous moments. One Day at a Time in Al-Anon

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Most of the focus in the reading was on HP having a sense of humor, and how the author's HP helped the author learn not to take themselves and their situation too seriously. What stood out to me was the elaborate and stressful situation the author had built up in their head about being a guest speaker at another meeting. Like the author, I can build future situations up in my head, and worry whether I will be the right person to share my ESH, be a guest speaker, lead a work meeting, or present at a conference. Using my Al-Anon tools has helped me to focus on reality and what is happening right now, what I can do right now, and leave the future to itself. There are things I cannot know, but if I am prepared and feel comfortable in my own skin, then there are very few situations that do not work out. When I focus on myself and the way I am being in various situations, there is very little that can "go wrong" - it might just not go according to my hopes or fears. 

When I think back on my learning for this, the most significant event happened at a conference - a global conference for my field. I'd presented at national conferences in my field with various other organizations, and so my expectation for this conference presentation was that I'd be speaking in a room of 20-30 chairs, perhaps 3-15 people. I was ready for really intense and not-so-friendly questions, as is normal in my area of specialty. I felt prepared for that. I'd practiced my presentation, I knew what I wanted to express, I was ready to go. I enjoyed the conference, explored a bit of the city surrounding the conference center, stumbled upon a fantastic restaurant, and connected with some colleagues. The evening before my presentation was set, I decided to locate the room so I could help set my expectations for the presentation. I located the room, which happened to be a ballroom that sat 1,000. I sighed with relief when I realized upon walking into the room that it was divided into several smaller rooms. The main room was HUGE, and at least 500 could sit there. There was a HUGE stage. This couldn't be right. I looked around more, consulted the room information again, and found my way to my specific presentation room. This was much better. only 300 chairs.  GULP. Very different from what I expected. I could feel myself starting to spiral into self-doubt, so I pulled out my Al-Anon tools, focused on what was happening at the moment, and went to dinner. I practiced my presentation a few more times, I had notes, but I felt that I wouldn't need to read them. The next day, I found that the room wasn't packed - approximately half the chairs were empty. My presentation went well, I was confident in what I was sharing, and the questions were friendly. I am so glad that I used my tools and worked through my fear, didn't let my imagination talk me into canceling the presentation at the last minute. Many positive opportunities have come as a result of that presentation, and that was really a clearly defining moment in both my Al-Anon program and my career.