The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
'Acceptance and surrender open all doors to AlAnon'...pretty powerful statement in today's reading, and a problem if we believe they meaning simply giving in or letting someone roll us.
If I'm using the concepts as Alanon intended, Acceptance involves admitting there exist things we cannot change, and to Surrender is to turn our (often poorly directed) will over to a power greater than ourselves. I stop trying to make happen what I think should happen.
Reminder: I don't have to accept the continuous misery that accompanies alcoholism, nor do I have to engage with the drama, manipulation, and insanity. No one can control my mind unless I allow it.
"God help me to accept the responsibility for finding a better way of life through surrendering to You and Your guidance." --------------------- Words I come across are often loaded with meaning I added over years of insanity and attempts to control the uncontrollables.
Digging in to the descriptions and definitions of Surrender and Acceptance using the topic index in the daily readers, reviewing Paths to Recovery makes it very clear that Acceptance and Surrender are not about weakness. They are the keys to serenity and the fruit of spiritual growth and strength.
Before I found the concepts of AlAnon, Acceptance and Surrender were nonexistent in concept, let alone practice. In that state, my attempt to control alcohol in another and life in general left me without serenity or peace.
For me, they truly are the key to Serenity; if I am agitated, I know I am not accepting the things I cannot change and changing the things I can...grateful for the wisdom of AlAnon
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Paul
"...when we try to control others, we lose the ability to manage our own lives." - Paths to Recovery
Thank you Paul for your service and share. Its interesting to me how those two words, surrender and acceptance, have also taken on new meanings with the practice of program. I can hold on to negative and useless things all I want. And I can also stay stuck in a deep hole. Or, I can see these words in a meaningful way, as intended here in alanon. I can trade in the useless stubbornness for positivity for myself. In that way, I get unstuck and can find peace and serenity. As always, program offers me great tools for living.
Thank you Paul for your service and ESH this morning and good morning to SunnyFrogs and Lyne.
I would like to share this quote that I like to refer to:
Surrender is a gift that you can give yourself. Its an act of faith. Its saying that even though I cant see where this river is flowing, I trust it will take me in the right direction. ~ Debbie Ford
Therefore I am free to accept (not condone), face those difficulties and honestly work for my peace and my rights in a compassionate way.
{{HUGS}}
-- Edited by Debb on Tuesday 16th of March 2021 08:49:23 AM
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"Forgiveness doesn't excuse bad behavior, but does prevent bad behavior from destroying your heart" ~ Unknown
Thank you Paul for your service and the daily. Thanks to all for your ESH & shares. I arrived to Al-Anon with a variety of outdated/distorted thinking. I truly struggled with acceptance as I had no idea what was within vs. outside of my control. I truly believed my way was the right way and was hellbent on having others conform to my way accordingly. And yes, surrender to me was not a position of strength but a position of weakness.
Time takes time and I've made progress. Acceptance and surrender still do not come 'naturally'. When 'life' happens around me, my first inclination is not to stay calm, trust God, allow things to unfold, etc. It's to resist and fight everything bad and everyone contrary to me. THIS is why that Pause I mention so, so often is a necessary step in my program. It gives me the time to pray, remember who's really in charge, the choice to respond vs. react.
It's a daily effort for me to have serenity and joy in recovery. I enjoy my chosen routine now and it feels like self-care where in the beginning, it felt uncomfortable and almost like homework. I am glad that even one like me, so stubborn and set in my ways, can be helped and aided in recovery by being willing to do differently.
Happy Tuesday all! I went and golfed this morning, which was a soggy, muddy mess - but fun. We're having some spring rain/weather so today was the best day to be outside. Tomorrow, I will be wearing green, cooking corned beef, cabbage + fixins' - my favorites! (((Hugs))) to all...
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
