Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

CEH · CEH

I have lost a friend today. He was not only a principal in my district, but also a father to four of my daughter's best friends. He left behind two amazing boys and his wife who is one of my best friends. He was an extremely good man and a Godly man. I felt very angry at my AH today for things that are mediocre c...

MeTwo2 · MeTwo2

So i thought i would share this aware on the off chance it will be 'heard and help bring comfort to another suffering through the same or similar .. one thing i know in alanon .. when we do the work we hear when we are supposed to and not a second sooner .. When i first came to alanon i came because of a meth addi...

lookingup · lookingup

All ended well,neighbors took care of everything paid everything and undone my water ,water dept never had to Come out ,sounds like I fretted over nothing ,but then it was a alarming sit.so everything went well.i tend to get all up in the air over sit. Like these,not knowing what's gonna happen ,then a...

fiercefemaleflyer · fiercefemaleflyer

My gentleman friend and I go in cycles. We get into a fight once every couple of months. I apologize and tell him I am sorry. He insists he is not mad and then we start all over again. I got really pissed off this time. I have been under the weather. (which is normal with my chronic illness) it comes in seasons...

tired of it · tired of it

When will this end? Probably never. My AH said he didn't want to drink during the week anymore but of course that was another lie.....ok, maybe not a lie but right now I am pissed off so I will call it what I want. I worked til 10 tonight so naturally he decided to drink. Then I get home at 11 to find no car i...

Marcusjohn · Marcusjohn

Today I saw my ex husband it's the first time I have seen him since my daughter has been diagnosed with liver disease and still continues to drink,my ex husband has been a drinker for years,every one bows down to him because he has a temper,he lives off benifits,he brought up the subject of our daughter,...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading is all about Just for Today.....we are reminded in the reading that all we really have to work with is today. The past is over, tomorrow has not yet come so today is our gift. We get to choose how we spend this day! The reading talks about trying new behavior - just for today. Perhaps new...

seahorselady · seahorselady

It's so nerve-racking to me when I have a messenger conversation with my AS. This is probably the 4th time he's told me he is without a place to lay his head again. I feel alot of anxiety and worry when I hear this. I dont send money or even try and give him solutions. Thats my old pattern and I am trying to bre...

sunmustshine · sunmustshine

AH has been gone for over a week. Got the text about his struggle and hope it wasn't too late to make amends, whatever that actually means. I know what it is supposed to mean, but coming from him? I didn't reply. Today the text was he doesn't want to continue like this. I just replied - I guess you'll have to c...

Fooled · Fooled

Yesterday my teenaged daughter passed her drivers license exam and is a licensed driver, instead of celebrating with us, my AH, decided to feel sorry for himself because he couldn't find a job, and all his job searching fell through, and drown himself in the strip club of a nearby town, wrecked the bik...

Iamhere · Iamhere

The reading in Courage to Change discusses that even if/when there is abuse or violence in a relationship, we have choices. We have a duty to protect ourselves and make choices that ensure our safety. Today's Reminder -- I don't have the power to change another person. If I am dealing with violence...

lookingup · lookingup

hello everyone,I'm frustrated as can be at the moment,my neighbors next door,which have been good neignores up until today when I met my neighbor at my mailbox and he tells me his water had been turned off due to non payment that they had a rough month,so he tells me they hooked my water hose to their wate...

YARNCRAZY · YARNCRAZY

One of the first,most often used slogans I learned from Alanon is "First Things First" Nearly every morning when i wake up, before all the dozens of thoughts come to my head, i say First Things First. It slows me done. I do the most important Firsts First. Taking care of me[shower,meds,breakfast] befo...

likemyheart · likemyheart

Drum roll please.... even though "my boyfriend" is not an A in any way shape or form, I am discovering that I am STILL broken in some places, seriously cracked in others - getting rid of the A didn't magically fix everything in my life, imagine that? I still need to work on me, good thing I have the tools to d...

Bethany66 · Bethany66

In my F2F meeting a certain member of our group adds a fourth C to the 3 C's - We didn't cause it, we can't cure it and we can't control it. She added but we can contribute to it. I wonder if anyone else has heard this and if so, how do you suppose we contribute to alcoholism in our life?

Calm Lady · Calm Lady

So things going along calmly in my life. Doing my thing. Enjoying it. AH doing his thing. I was thinking when all said and done. These last 13 years with a daily active drinker are all down to "what the hell was I thinking?" Me. Not him. All the lies and craziness on both sides. At first we are usually full of...

Bethany66 · Bethany66

I know I am classic codependent. I have such a terribly hard time discussing things with my AH. I guess in the past he has always found a way to make me feel horrible for any feelings I have or things I bring up that hurt my feelings. I end up apologizing to him for something before the talk is over. I hold...

Ceelee · Ceelee

I am going through some of the toughest times in my life. My Daughter is very sick with an eating disorder. The worse she is the more my AH drinks and the more I am spiraling downward. But praise my HP! I have Alanon and this board. I came here today and heard exactly what I needed to hear. Thank you! You guys a...

Ella Bella · Ella Bella

I've been married for 34 years. In 2006, my husband started drinking heavily and it spiraled until he drank every day starting first thing in the morning. I only found out about it because I put a GPS in his car and tracked him for a week. Living with him was hell. He had constant anger outbursts and my...

oceanpine · oceanpine

I think my AH just hit a crisis - but I'm not sure. I'm not sure what to make of the way events and the truth have unfolded. I would appreciate some ESH in navigating through this. We've been separated for a year, but this month we had some therapist friends come and do some intensive work with us. Their goal...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

Today's Courage offers an example of what it means to 'let go'. At a business meeting, the author summoned the courage to voice a suggestion that was not taken by group. Rather than feel defeated and offended, however, they were able to "place principles above personalities" and let it go.'Letting G...

MeTwo2 · MeTwo2

I'm up late tonight and since I have once again managed to not be able to log in to the other room, I decided to venture to this one .. I Love alanon (and always will) .. I also appreciate So much we can always find fellowship (even when we've been away) .. I am feeling So much guilt with myself .. Mainly for my...

Marcusjohn · Marcusjohn

Hi I have a daughter who has a drink problem,she is beautiful intelligent,but for the past few years myself and other family members have noticed that she drinks more and more,she has a stressful job (corporate director) and is with a partner that drinks as well and is verbally emotionally abusive to...

ed · ed

I am the father of an alcoholic adult daughter. I am a new attendee to an Al-non family group. My A adult daughter's mom also attending same Al-anon meetings. i am uncomfortable with this. Am I being a jerk? Is this common? Is there a position/policy of Al-anon regarding this. My discomfort stems fr...

joker · joker

My Alcoholic BF remains sober to this day, just over a month now since his last drink. Its been great having a sober person around. He now has become obsessed with renovating the house, and the to do list is unreal. He says this and that needs done. I am getting overloaded hearing all this. I am in fact gett...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning Everyone: Today's reading is about how we come to the program and what type of participation/service each of us may bring to it. For me the line from this page that speaks volumes is: '...each of us has something unique that we bring to the program'. I remember being at meetings and listen...

Aerin · Aerin

any Al-Anon suggestions on what to say to an alcoholic who is attempting recovery? My ABF Who is a binge drinker will go two weeks without drinking, has attended some AA meetings and then falls off the wagon and will drink again for a day. He gets up the next day stating that he has to start all over again th...

sunmustshine · sunmustshine

AH has been gone almost a week now on a bender. I'm glad he is honoring my boundaries by being out. I have to consciously not think..."how can he not want to be here". I know he has a disease and it is controlling him right now. A part of me just can't help but wonder if he's not just a rotten SOB who cares more ab...

CH_Husband_Dad · CH_Husband_Dad

So my AW is still doing great post rehab and we are doing better. One thing that really bothers me is that she started smoking regularly in rehab. I guess it's because that's what everyone does. She always had a cigarette every once in a while (while drinking out in public) but was not addicted. I'm af...

Thurrayya the Khajiit · Thurrayya the Khajiit

I did some things to help myself this weekend. Saturday morning I went to my first ever f2f meeting. It was so refreshing to see and hear all the experiences people are having. With some, it helps to know that I'm in the same boat as others. With others I felt heartbroken for all they're going through. One...

pepodwyer · pepodwyer

Hello, I am new here and I am at my wits end. I come from an alcoholic family. My father was an alcoholic, but it took me years to realize it because my mother was so good at denying it. I just knew that everything revolved around alcohol. My father passed away in 2001. Last year, my brother died from al...

a4l · a4l

None of us came to alanon because we are well. That goes for me as much as anyone else here or in the rooms of alanon around the world. I have asked that you address me here on the main board in the spirit of actual recovery and because i know all too well from experience that emotional and mental manipulatio...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

Today's reading provides the opportunity to try on a new perspective in regards to how we see our feelings and emotions. Instead of viewing resentment, jealousy, fear, and anger as 'bad', we can try viewing them simply as signals, without the value judgment of 'good/bad'.Some of those feelings may...

KT2015 · KT2015

I've been working through step three with my sponsor and she reminded me of the concept of the God box. I had been avoiding it before because I didn't think it would help but I have found lately that I have been so obsessed with my AH's drinking and the future of our relationship that I decided I was going t...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Saturday past, I played tournament softball here - the metro area does sober softball and the tournament is how we end the year/season. Of course, there is recovery everywhere and both sides of the fellowship are well represented. There are games, kids, spouses, boyfriends, girlfriends, games...

YARNCRAZY · YARNCRAZY

My divorce is final in Dec. I think detaching is forver thugh. He, in a period of clarity keeps calling me about some odd pieces of clothes that he claims are mine that he intends to mail. Believe me, when i left i took everything i wanted so i wouldnt have to return. Its a ploy so he can vaguely ask me favors a...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

I have exciting news which I'm still a little unsure about, .. my ex has agreed to a settlement. I am in SHOCK. I'm still reeling 2 days later. What I am not reeling about is realizing nothing has changed .. I know you would think I would learn .. LOL .. however whatever it is what it is, and he is who he is. ...

Ex Wife · Ex Wife

We have been divorced 9 years. It was ugly, but the last 5 years have been good. I consider him a friend and good dad, we have a son together with a medical issue. I was in a long term relationship that ended over a year ago. About 6 months ago the ex husband begins actively trying to get me back. He still drink...

geems · geems

HP is there. He gone to get coffee

YARNCRAZY · YARNCRAZY

Its been 9mths since I physically left my soon to be XAH but probally years I left him in an emotional sense. Standing alone I can see that I wasnt with my XAH for love. I had this idea after 2 failed marriages to find someone who in the future I could be secure with financially. Its way too complicated to go i...

Fooled · Fooled

I come back after a long summer. We had some good times, we had some bad times, and some eh times. My AH has been on and off sober since February. He believes in therapeutic relapses. What ever that means..... After much drama he admitted to our pastor and myself that he cant do AA because it makes h...

sunmustshine · sunmustshine

I am feeling blessed to be able to read all of the stories here that are like mine or different, the wisdom, the mistakes, the hope. I am overwhelmed with gratitude for the immense support, safety, healing and guidance found here. My AH went through months of fancy - finally, the real deal recovery. He c...

numb · numb

I am new to this. At a friends suggestion came here to start my own healing. Abbreviated story as from what i have been reading its the same as most. the pathological lying cheating blacking our with other girls everything except stealing (that i know of). we broke up, or i guess i should say he threw me aw...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for September 25 talks about Step Three. The reading reminds us that we can take this step over and over again and strive to place our will and life in the care of Higher Power's hands. Once we see that our way does not work, It's only then that we let go and begin to trust the still small v...

Gladitsover · Gladitsover

I have a lot to say. I'm glad this group exists, as these message boards have been helpful. We were together over 14 years. We were engaged & lived together (house in my name due to his credit). Brief highlights- open container a couple years ago, lost job, out of work while I paid bills, drinkin...

YARNCRAZY · YARNCRAZY

Im still unemployed but waiting now for unemployment to kick in as i caved and decided to get into that red tape nightmare. I have been having a great time with my new guy for 9 mths. Beeen going places and getting treated well. Things have progressed so that we are thinking about moving in together . I hav...

Calm Lady · Calm Lady

Hello all Lovely fresh autumn day here. Got that nice crispness to the air. Just sat quietly enjoying a coffee. Feeling peaceful. Pondering about how things reveal themselves a layer at a time in recovery. So as not to overwhelm us, I suppose. The denial about AH has revealed another layer. I say this i...

Calm Lady · Calm Lady

I am writing to share my gratitude of my self awareness now. I used to blunder along completely unaware of my behaviour and therefore the chaos I was creating for myself. I notice yesterday with AH, we were getting on so great, I slipped back into controlling behaviours. I normally act detached with lo...

Toomuchlove2give · Toomuchlove2give

I am fighting the woman within who has some how allowed herself to keep believing the lies that I tell myself about my fianse. He is a binge drinker. I have been in therapy for almost three years dealing with my fianse. How could I say yes two years ago. I feel like thank God we haven't actually gotten mar...

madowl86 · madowl86

last night my ABF who has been drinking, but not getting drunk the past few months, got really wasted. He turned right back into his mean self. He started yelling at me and telling me how fat I've gotten. Then after over 30 minutes of his verbal abuse, he walked away like he was getting really mad and then h...

tiredtonite · tiredtonite

I will be chairing our Sunday morning meeting shortly. Please join us. TT

MissM · MissM

Today's c2c reflects on the fact that many of us arrive at the doors of al-anon believing our own stories to be larger than life and highly dramatic. It makes the rather apt comparison between thinking our high-drama lives and circumstances are 'blockbusters" when they are really more like home-mov...

Bethany66 · Bethany66

I know better than to get worked up about the falsehoods my AH has created about his consumption. No, he didn't drink last week (or the week before) but in reality he was drunk every night last week when I got home. No, he didn't drink a bottle of whiskey and leave the empty bottle in the cupboard but in re...

Iamhere · Iamhere

So - last night at softball, we were in need of a few players (conflicts). I asked two gals who are closer in age to me to come out and sub. Imagine a team with 3 women over 50 not only taking the field, but rocking it!!! We had fun, enjoyed the game and it's very flattering to still be able to 'game' as we all...

DavidG · DavidG

Our home town no longer has an Alanon group. I had to give the banners away to another group about a year ago. In the group we were not allowed to read daily readings from 'Hope For Today'. I questioned this one. I did not want to cause disharmony during a group meeting. So I asked for it to be discussed...

lookingup · lookingup

I've have lived in what's not normal most my life,fighting amongst siblings,not speaking to one another for years I came from a 7 sibling household with a loving mother,enabler.and a father,alcoholic everyday drinking drama and chaos became a part of my raising,everyday drama or chaos broke out,...

Iwashere · Iwashere

I am needing al anon guidance. I was recently in a committee in al anon to do some research into our groups finances. A fellow member was not getting clear information from the treasurer at our group conscience. Since we did not have time to resolve it a motion was entered to form a committee to researc...

el-cee · el-cee

I love that alanon is a place where there is no gossip. No going behind each others backs and bitching away about each other for whatever reason. It means we can relax and feel trust here maybe for the first time. Gossip was a big part in my life before but I always had a feeling that it wasn't quite right and...

Emma123 · Emma123

My boyfriend's alcoholism is gradually getting worse. Whenever I think about leaving I feel huge guilt. If he had a different illness such as cancer I doubt I'd leave him. However I don't believe he will stop drinking and it will probably kill him. So, I feel it would be much healthier for me to leave. O...

Desperateinnyc · Desperateinnyc

This will be the first time he is going, but he has spun out of control last week or so. And while I'm so proud of him for choosing this, I am scared too..I have all these selfish thoughts, what if he decides he doesn't want to be with me when he gets out, whatif he doesn't miss me in there, how do I make this as su...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	I didn't know how truly naive I am. (Preview) I have lost a friend today. He was not only a principal in my district, but also a father to four of my daughter's best friends. He left behind two amazing boys and his wife who is one of my best friends. He was an extremely good man and a Godly man. I felt very angry at my AH today for things that are mediocre c...	CEH	16	709	Oct 1, 2016 by CEH
	sort of a revelation this week into the alcoholic and just a late night share . (Preview) So i thought i would share this aware on the off chance it will be 'heard and help bring comfort to another suffering through the same or similar .. one thing i know in alanon .. when we do the work we hear when we are supposed to and not a second sooner .. When i first came to alanon i came because of a meth addi...	MeTwo2	12	436	Oct 1, 2016 by MeTwo2
	Update on neighbors (Preview) All ended well,neighbors took care of everything paid everything and undone my water ,water dept never had to Come out ,sounds like I fretted over nothing ,but then it was a alarming sit.so everything went well.i tend to get all up in the air over sit. Like these,not knowing what's gonna happen ,then a...	lookingup	4	329	Oct 1, 2016 by lookingup
	On the edge (Preview) My gentleman friend and I go in cycles. We get into a fight once every couple of months. I apologize and tell him I am sorry. He insists he is not mad and then we start all over again. I got really pissed off this time. I have been under the weather. (which is normal with my chronic illness) it comes in seasons...	fiercefemaleflyer	3	300	Oct 1, 2016 by geems
	Really want to yell tonight! (Preview) When will this end? Probably never. My AH said he didn't want to drink during the week anymore but of course that was another lie.....ok, maybe not a lie but right now I am pissed off so I will call it what I want. I worked til 10 tonight so naturally he decided to drink. Then I get home at 11 to find no car i...	tired of it	11	511	Oct 1, 2016 by el-cee
	Crazy making (Preview) Today I saw my ex husband it's the first time I have seen him since my daughter has been diagnosed with liver disease and still continues to drink,my ex husband has been a drinker for years,every one bows down to him because he has a temper,he lives off benifits,he brought up the subject of our daughter,...	Marcusjohn	4	373	Sep 30, 2016 by Iamhere
	Courage to Change (C2C) 9/30/16 (Preview) Today's reading is all about Just for Today.....we are reminded in the reading that all we really have to work with is today. The past is over, tomorrow has not yet come so today is our gift. We get to choose how we spend this day! The reading talks about trying new behavior - just for today. Perhaps new...	Iamhere	2	294	Sep 30, 2016 by lookingup
	This is unbelievably nerve-racking (Preview) It's so nerve-racking to me when I have a messenger conversation with my AS. This is probably the 4th time he's told me he is without a place to lay his head again. I feel alot of anxiety and worry when I hear this. I dont send money or even try and give him solutions. Thats my old pattern and I am trying to bre...	seahorselady	17	624	Sep 30, 2016 by Bethany66
	It Begins Again (Preview) AH has been gone for over a week. Got the text about his struggle and hope it wasn't too late to make amends, whatever that actually means. I know what it is supposed to mean, but coming from him? I didn't reply. Today the text was he doesn't want to continue like this. I just replied - I guess you'll have to c...	sunmustshine	5	422	Sep 30, 2016 by sunmustshine
	Full consequences (Preview) Yesterday my teenaged daughter passed her drivers license exam and is a licensed driver, instead of celebrating with us, my AH, decided to feel sorry for himself because he couldn't find a job, and all his job searching fell through, and drown himself in the strip club of a nearby town, wrecked the bik...	Fooled	37	825	Sep 30, 2016 by Iamhere
	Courage to Change (C2C) 9/29/16 (Preview) The reading in Courage to Change discusses that even if/when there is abuse or violence in a relationship, we have choices. We have a duty to protect ourselves and make choices that ensure our safety. Today's Reminder -- I don't have the power to change another person. If I am dealing with violence...	Iamhere	9	414	Sep 30, 2016 by lookingup
	Neighbors (Preview) hello everyone,I'm frustrated as can be at the moment,my neighbors next door,which have been good neignores up until today when I met my neighbor at my mailbox and he tells me his water had been turned off due to non payment that they had a rough month,so he tells me they hooked my water hose to their wate...	lookingup	3	396	Sep 29, 2016 by lookingup
	First Things First (Preview) One of the first,most often used slogans I learned from Alanon is "First Things First" Nearly every morning when i wake up, before all the dozens of thoughts come to my head, i say First Things First. It slows me done. I do the most important Firsts First. Taking care of me[shower,meds,breakfast] befo...	YARNCRAZY	5	410	Sep 29, 2016 by tucker
	I'm still broken, where's the super glue? (Preview) Drum roll please.... even though "my boyfriend" is not an A in any way shape or form, I am discovering that I am STILL broken in some places, seriously cracked in others - getting rid of the A didn't magically fix everything in my life, imagine that? I still need to work on me, good thing I have the tools to d...	likemyheart	11	651	Sep 29, 2016 by likemyheart
	Question regarding the 3 C's - Someone added a fourth (Preview) In my F2F meeting a certain member of our group adds a fourth C to the 3 C's - We didn't cause it, we can't cure it and we can't control it. She added but we can contribute to it. I wonder if anyone else has heard this and if so, how do you suppose we contribute to alcoholism in our life?	Bethany66	6	532	Sep 29, 2016 by Iamhere
	My truth (Preview) So things going along calmly in my life. Doing my thing. Enjoying it. AH doing his thing. I was thinking when all said and done. These last 13 years with a daily active drinker are all down to "what the hell was I thinking?" Me. Not him. All the lies and craziness on both sides. At first we are usually full of...	Calm Lady	19	559	Sep 29, 2016 by Iamhere
	Is it beneficial to try to talk about it? (Preview) I know I am classic codependent. I have such a terribly hard time discussing things with my AH. I guess in the past he has always found a way to make me feel horrible for any feelings I have or things I bring up that hurt my feelings. I end up apologizing to him for something before the talk is over. I hold...	Bethany66	19	634	Sep 29, 2016 by El
	Thank You (Preview) I am going through some of the toughest times in my life. My Daughter is very sick with an eating disorder. The worse she is the more my AH drinks and the more I am spiraling downward. But praise my HP! I have Alanon and this board. I came here today and heard exactly what I needed to hear. Thank you! You guys a...	Ceelee	8	383	Sep 29, 2016 by jitsuka
	New - Need help with Dry Drunk syndrome ( 1 2 ) (Preview) I've been married for 34 years. In 2006, my husband started drinking heavily and it spiraled until he drank every day starting first thing in the morning. I only found out about it because I put a GPS in his car and tracked him for a week. Living with him was hell. He had constant anger outbursts and my...	Ella Bella	56	1378	Sep 28, 2016 by hotrod
	trying to stay focused on the heart of the matter (Preview) I think my AH just hit a crisis - but I'm not sure. I'm not sure what to make of the way events and the truth have unfolded. I would appreciate some ESH in navigating through this. We've been separated for a year, but this month we had some therapist friends come and do some intensive work with us. Their goal...	oceanpine	7	430	Sep 28, 2016 by Ceelee
	C2C 9/28/16 Focus on the Action, Not its Fruits (Preview) Today's Courage offers an example of what it means to 'let go'. At a business meeting, the author summoned the courage to voice a suggestion that was not taken by group. Rather than feel defeated and offended, however, they were able to "place principles above personalities" and let it go.'Letting G...	Enigmatic	4	462	Sep 28, 2016 by MeTwo2
	Alcoholism (change) (Preview) I'm up late tonight and since I have once again managed to not be able to log in to the other room, I decided to venture to this one .. I Love alanon (and always will) .. I also appreciate So much we can always find fellowship (even when we've been away) .. I am feeling So much guilt with myself .. Mainly for my...	MeTwo2	3	468	Sep 28, 2016 by MeTwo2
	Feeling helpless,scared and angry (Preview) Hi I have a daughter who has a drink problem,she is beautiful intelligent,but for the past few years myself and other family members have noticed that she drinks more and more,she has a stressful job (corporate director) and is with a partner that drinks as well and is verbally emotionally abusive to...	Marcusjohn	5	1719	Sep 27, 2016 by Iamhere
	A adult daughter's mom also attending Al-anon (Preview) I am the father of an alcoholic adult daughter. I am a new attendee to an Al-non family group. My A adult daughter's mom also attending same Al-anon meetings. i am uncomfortable with this. Am I being a jerk? Is this common? Is there a position/policy of Al-anon regarding this. My discomfort stems fr...	ed	8	386	Sep 27, 2016 by ed
	feeling like I am going crazy (Preview) My Alcoholic BF remains sober to this day, just over a month now since his last drink. Its been great having a sober person around. He now has become obsessed with renovating the house, and the to do list is unreal. He says this and that needs done. I am getting overloaded hearing all this. I am in fact gett...	joker	4	533	Sep 27, 2016 by el-cee
	Hope for Today Sept 27 (Preview) Good morning Everyone: Today's reading is about how we come to the program and what type of participation/service each of us may bring to it. For me the line from this page that speaks volumes is: '...each of us has something unique that we bring to the program'. I remember being at meetings and listen...	yanksfan51	4	438	Sep 27, 2016 by DavidG
	What Can I Say To ABF (Preview) any Al-Anon suggestions on what to say to an alcoholic who is attempting recovery? My ABF Who is a binge drinker will go two weeks without drinking, has attended some AA meetings and then falls off the wagon and will drink again for a day. He gets up the next day stating that he has to start all over again th...	Aerin	8	519	Sep 27, 2016 by Jerry F
	So odd (Preview) AH has been gone almost a week now on a bender. I'm glad he is honoring my boundaries by being out. I have to consciously not think..."how can he not want to be here". I know he has a disease and it is controlling him right now. A part of me just can't help but wonder if he's not just a rotten SOB who cares more ab...	sunmustshine	10	440	Sep 27, 2016 by Bethany66
	AW began smoking in rehab (Preview) So my AW is still doing great post rehab and we are doing better. One thing that really bothers me is that she started smoking regularly in rehab. I guess it's because that's what everyone does. She always had a cigarette every once in a while (while drinking out in public) but was not addicted. I'm af...	CH_Husband_Dad	13	552	Sep 27, 2016 by jojo8466
	Some Happy Updates (Preview) I did some things to help myself this weekend. Saturday morning I went to my first ever f2f meeting. It was so refreshing to see and hear all the experiences people are having. With some, it helps to know that I'm in the same boat as others. With others I felt heartbroken for all they're going through. One...	Thurrayya the Khajiit	6	495	Sep 27, 2016 by milkwood
	New here (Preview) Hello, I am new here and I am at my wits end. I come from an alcoholic family. My father was an alcoholic, but it took me years to realize it because my mother was so good at denying it. I just knew that everything revolved around alcohol. My father passed away in 2001. Last year, my brother died from al...	pepodwyer	4	404	Sep 27, 2016 by Ann_M_Y
	dearest jaclyn (closed) (Preview) None of us came to alanon because we are well. That goes for me as much as anyone else here or in the rooms of alanon around the world. I have asked that you address me here on the main board in the spirit of actual recovery and because i know all too well from experience that emotional and mental manipulatio...	a4l	0	402	Sep 26, 2016 by a4l
	C2C 9-26-16 How Do We Feel About Our Feelings? (Preview) Today's reading provides the opportunity to try on a new perspective in regards to how we see our feelings and emotions. Instead of viewing resentment, jealousy, fear, and anger as 'bad', we can try viewing them simply as signals, without the value judgment of 'good/bad'.Some of those feelings may...	Enigmatic	3	472	Sep 26, 2016 by a4l
	Feeling powerless (Preview) I've been working through step three with my sponsor and she reminded me of the concept of the God box. I had been avoiding it before because I didn't think it would help but I have found lately that I have been so obsessed with my AH's drinking and the future of our relationship that I decided I was going t...	KT2015	7	492	Sep 26, 2016 by KT2015
	Fellowship, Freedom and Service Work - the Miracle of Recovery... (Preview) Saturday past, I played tournament softball here - the metro area does sober softball and the tournament is how we end the year/season. Of course, there is recovery everywhere and both sides of the fellowship are well represented. There are games, kids, spouses, boyfriends, girlfriends, games...	Iamhere	3	410	Sep 26, 2016 by hotrod
	aLMOST XAH (Preview) My divorce is final in Dec. I think detaching is forver thugh. He, in a period of clarity keeps calling me about some odd pieces of clothes that he claims are mine that he intends to mail. Believe me, when i left i took everything i wanted so i wouldnt have to return. Its a ploy so he can vaguely ask me favors a...	YARNCRAZY	1	363	Sep 26, 2016 by Iamhere
	Update :) (Preview) I have exciting news which I'm still a little unsure about, .. my ex has agreed to a settlement. I am in SHOCK. I'm still reeling 2 days later. What I am not reeling about is realizing nothing has changed .. I know you would think I would learn .. LOL .. however whatever it is what it is, and he is who he is. ...	SerenityRUS	9	524	Sep 26, 2016 by likemyheart
	Ex Husband and Addict wants us back (Preview) We have been divorced 9 years. It was ugly, but the last 5 years have been good. I consider him a friend and good dad, we have a son together with a medical issue. I was in a long term relationship that ended over a year ago. About 6 months ago the ex husband begins actively trying to get me back. He still drink...	Ex Wife	6	482	Sep 26, 2016 by deacon
	Tips on how to conduct meeting when it's just oneself in attendance. Idlers notwithstanding. Anybody? (Preview) HP is there. He gone to get coffee	geems	3	356	Sep 26, 2016 by geems
	Confession time (Preview) Its been 9mths since I physically left my soon to be XAH but probally years I left him in an emotional sense. Standing alone I can see that I wasnt with my XAH for love. I had this idea after 2 failed marriages to find someone who in the future I could be secure with financially. Its way too complicated to go i...	YARNCRAZY	3	409	Sep 26, 2016 by Iamhere
	Putting it here, instead of (Preview) I come back after a long summer. We had some good times, we had some bad times, and some eh times. My AH has been on and off sober since February. He believes in therapeutic relapses. What ever that means..... After much drama he admitted to our pastor and myself that he cant do AA because it makes h...	Fooled	20	619	Sep 26, 2016 by geems
	So Glad You Are All Here (Preview) I am feeling blessed to be able to read all of the stories here that are like mine or different, the wisdom, the mistakes, the hope. I am overwhelmed with gratitude for the immense support, safety, healing and guidance found here. My AH went through months of fancy - finally, the real deal recovery. He c...	sunmustshine	8	410	Sep 25, 2016 by tired of it
	Amends? Help feel like im in a black hole! (Preview) I am new to this. At a friends suggestion came here to start my own healing. Abbreviated story as from what i have been reading its the same as most. the pathological lying cheating blacking our with other girls everything except stealing (that i know of). we broke up, or i guess i should say he threw me aw...	numb	28	781	Sep 25, 2016 by sunmustshine
	Courage to Change Reading 9-25-2016 (Preview) The C2C reading for September 25 talks about Step Three. The reading reminds us that we can take this step over and over again and strive to place our will and life in the care of Higher Power's hands. Once we see that our way does not work, It's only then that we let go and begin to trust the still small v...	hotrod	5	528	Sep 25, 2016 by DavidG
	Infidelity Infidelity cheating relapse BPD regret (Preview) I have a lot to say. I'm glad this group exists, as these message boards have been helpful. We were together over 14 years. We were engaged & lived together (house in my name due to his credit). Brief highlights- open container a couple years ago, lost job, out of work while I paid bills, drinkin...	Gladitsover	9	3157	Sep 25, 2016 by Jerry F
	UPDATE (Preview) Im still unemployed but waiting now for unemployment to kick in as i caved and decided to get into that red tape nightmare. I have been having a great time with my new guy for 9 mths. Beeen going places and getting treated well. Things have progressed so that we are thinking about moving in together . I hav...	YARNCRAZY	6	449	Sep 25, 2016 by Jerry F
	Big TV! (Preview) Hello all Lovely fresh autumn day here. Got that nice crispness to the air. Just sat quietly enjoying a coffee. Feeling peaceful. Pondering about how things reveal themselves a layer at a time in recovery. So as not to overwhelm us, I suppose. The denial about AH has revealed another layer. I say this i...	Calm Lady	14	558	Sep 25, 2016 by Jerry F
	Started a relapse yesterday (Preview) I am writing to share my gratitude of my self awareness now. I used to blunder along completely unaware of my behaviour and therefore the chaos I was creating for myself. I notice yesterday with AH, we were getting on so great, I slipped back into controlling behaviours. I normally act detached with lo...	Calm Lady	7	461	Sep 25, 2016 by serenity47
	I am new to the group. In need of someone to talk to (Preview) I am fighting the woman within who has some how allowed herself to keep believing the lies that I tell myself about my fianse. He is a binge drinker. I have been in therapy for almost three years dealing with my fianse. How could I say yes two years ago. I feel like thank God we haven't actually gotten mar...	Toomuchlove2give	19	701	Sep 25, 2016 by geems
	Are drunk words real thoughts? (Preview) last night my ABF who has been drinking, but not getting drunk the past few months, got really wasted. He turned right back into his mean self. He started yelling at me and telling me how fat I've gotten. Then after over 30 minutes of his verbal abuse, he walked away like he was getting really mad and then h...	madowl86	10	728	Sep 25, 2016 by MovieGal
	Sunday Morning Alanon Meeting in Chatroom 10:30 EST (Preview) I will be chairing our Sunday morning meeting shortly. Please join us. TT	tiredtonite	1	329	Sep 25, 2016 by hotrod
	Courage To Change 24/9 (Preview) Today's c2c reflects on the fact that many of us arrive at the doors of al-anon believing our own stories to be larger than life and highly dramatic. It makes the rather apt comparison between thinking our high-drama lives and circumstances are 'blockbusters" when they are really more like home-mov...	MissM	8	444	Sep 25, 2016 by Calm Lady
	Delusions and false realities (Preview) I know better than to get worked up about the falsehoods my AH has created about his consumption. No, he didn't drink last week (or the week before) but in reality he was drunk every night last week when I got home. No, he didn't drink a bottle of whiskey and leave the empty bottle in the cupboard but in re...	Bethany66	5	541	Sep 25, 2016 by jocelgp
	Outsiders Truly Do Not Understand Us!!! (Preview) So - last night at softball, we were in need of a few players (conflicts). I asked two gals who are closer in age to me to come out and sub. Imagine a team with 3 women over 50 not only taking the field, but rocking it!!! We had fun, enjoyed the game and it's very flattering to still be able to 'game' as we all...	Iamhere	9	567	Sep 25, 2016 by Calm Lady
	,,,group issues... how they work for me... (Preview) Our home town no longer has an Alanon group. I had to give the banners away to another group about a year ago. In the group we were not allowed to read daily readings from 'Hope For Today'. I questioned this one. I did not want to cause disharmony during a group meeting. So I asked for it to be discussed...	DavidG	7	453	Sep 24, 2016 by Iamhere
	Not normal versus normal (Preview) I've have lived in what's not normal most my life,fighting amongst siblings,not speaking to one another for years I came from a 7 sibling household with a loving mother,enabler.and a father,alcoholic everyday drinking drama and chaos became a part of my raising,everyday drama or chaos broke out,...	lookingup	7	477	Sep 24, 2016 by Iamhere
	Treasurer embezzled treasurer theft (Preview) I am needing al anon guidance. I was recently in a committee in al anon to do some research into our groups finances. A fellow member was not getting clear information from the treasurer at our group conscience. Since we did not have time to resolve it a motion was entered to form a committee to researc...	Iwashere	20	889	Sep 24, 2016 by hotrod
	Gossip (Preview) I love that alanon is a place where there is no gossip. No going behind each others backs and bitching away about each other for whatever reason. It means we can relax and feel trust here maybe for the first time. Gossip was a big part in my life before but I always had a feeling that it wasn't quite right and...	el-cee	17	1008	Sep 24, 2016 by geems
	Guilt (Preview) My boyfriend's alcoholism is gradually getting worse. Whenever I think about leaving I feel huge guilt. If he had a different illness such as cancer I doubt I'd leave him. However I don't believe he will stop drinking and it will probably kill him. So, I feel it would be much healthier for me to leave. O...	Emma123	12	542	Sep 24, 2016 by Iamhere
	Tomorrow my BF goes to rehab, I'm really scared.., (Preview) This will be the first time he is going, but he has spun out of control last week or so. And while I'm so proud of him for choosing this, I am scared too..I have all these selfish thoughts, what if he decides he doesn't want to be with me when he gets out, whatif he doesn't miss me in there, how do I make this as su...	Desperateinnyc	13	495	Sep 24, 2016 by pinkchip
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.