Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

hotrod · hotrod

Step Work BoardWhere we discuss each of the Twelve StepsIn the order they are written, one step at a time, every two weeks.Learn How The Twelve Steps Work.Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by being active on this board as we go through the 12 Steps of recovery Please...

ilocapp · ilocapp

Hello All, I am new to all of this. My husband is currently 24 days into inpatient rehab because of pain pill addiction and has another 10 days to go. He broke down and came clean about being addicted about 4 weeks ago. I'm not proud of my initial reaction but it would take explaining the last 20 years for so...

Emma123 · Emma123

I'm experiencing deep sadness over past few days. Met up with a few childhood friends recently. They have achieved so much - career, marriage, kids, house etc. I realised I have achieved nothing I had longed for growing up. Owning my own home, even a small flat or apartment was something I always drea...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

The author of today's page admits not knowing the definition of compassion, but was pretty sure it did not include angry yelling, throwing things, name calling, or plotting revenge over perceived offenses. Yet this was the behavior they found themselves engaging in towards a loved one with the dis...

shimo · shimo

Al-Anon meeting in the chat room in approximately 30 minutes. Come on in and join us! Link: www.12stepforums.net/chatroom2.html A-Anon Meetings Schedule: Monday-Friday 9 a.m. and 9 p.m. Eastern Standard Time; Sunday 10 a.m. and 7 p.m. Eastern Standard Time...UK +5 hours, Central -1 hour, Mou...

hotrod · hotrod

C2C reading for October 2 speaks about serving in the various service positions at an Al-Anon group meeting. The reading suggests that when we volunteer and assume one of these responsibilities to the group, it often brings us in frequent contact with newcomers. This contact is extreme...

Tossed Salad · Tossed Salad

My ExAH and I have not lived together in almost 4 years. We have been officially divorced for 1.5 years. I have been in Alanon for almost 5 years. Early on in the split I met a man. He seemed a perfect mate in so many ways. I felt that he met my needs, respected my boundaries and accepted my baggage. As th...

a4l · a4l

I read about champix here and I'm on day 5. Ready for a physical makeover of health and this 21 year smoking habit needs to go. I tried quitting three times in my life including now. I'm currently down to 4 smokes a day, my last two attempts lasted exactly 24 hours. But I learned a lot about my relationship w...

Jerry F · Jerry F

I got a text msg from a client who's property I manage which asked me to check on his renter as there was a report of some "issues". Well not really and after I went over to check on them I learned that the neighbor across the road was acting insane (drugs and alcohol?) and was shouting at them Friday nigh...

geems · geems

Pre alanon when somebody did me a dirty behind the scenes, I would bite on that bait and have a full on battle...behind the scenes. Today when somebody tried to be passive aggressive behind the scenes...in secret...I left them there dangling. Did not respond nor acknowledge their existence in my da...

e_i_m · e_i_m

It's been about a month since I broke up with my abh. My sense of self/identity/worth was really wrapped up in his attention/approval. As part of my healing/recovery, I know I need to keep working my program and strengthen/understand aspects of myself before I even consider dating anyone again and t...

MissM · MissM

Todays's c2c speaks of those moments when we become aware of how fast and chaotic our thinking has become, filled with memories and resentments and guilt, and projections about the future. When we recognise this chaotic thinking and take the time to reach out and talk about it, it tends to all fall bac...

lookingup · lookingup

hello again,hope all is well.i seem to find qualifiers ,is this normal ? Even though I'm living alone .i found a young 32 yo man that has asked to borrow my lawnmower and keep my yard mowed in return of using my mower,I'm easy to make freinds ,we have become freinds ,him and his mom.theyve agreed to pay me t...

ladybugnessa · ladybugnessa

yesterday was a rough day for me when a bunch of friends (online mostly) who i love adore admire and trust, handed my my tush online for some thinking they don't agree with. I have agreed to disagree with them (this morning) but I still have feelings of letting them down.... but that's not what I want to s...

fiercefemaleflyer · fiercefemaleflyer

My "recovering alcoholic" I say recovering lightly as he quite going to AA about a year and a half into recovery. He doesn't drink but he has a hobby that consumes him. If I try to leave him or move away from him emotionally he freaks out. He does good for a couple weeks, then he freaks out at the relationshi...

jocelgp · jocelgp

So Thursday or Friday has passed. Earlier were the days about my husband worrying about losing his drinking friends, how I left him by himself to seek medical attention (loosing all his front teeth, drunk accident - is that something he cannot do by himself?), about convincing me that there is nothin...

Rain0828 · Rain0828

Hi everybody, hope you are well. I`m new here. I found this place after looking for help and realizing no one around me can really understand what I`m feeling. I`ve read some posts and I see I can relate to many of the things said here. (This text was like a catharsis for me so it`s quite long. Im sorry) I dat...

CEH · CEH

I have lost a friend today. He was not only a principal in my district, but also a father to four of my daughter's best friends. He left behind two amazing boys and his wife who is one of my best friends. He was an extremely good man and a Godly man. I felt very angry at my AH today for things that are mediocre c...

MeTwo2 · MeTwo2

So i thought i would share this aware on the off chance it will be 'heard and help bring comfort to another suffering through the same or similar .. one thing i know in alanon .. when we do the work we hear when we are supposed to and not a second sooner .. When i first came to alanon i came because of a meth addi...

lookingup · lookingup

All ended well,neighbors took care of everything paid everything and undone my water ,water dept never had to Come out ,sounds like I fretted over nothing ,but then it was a alarming sit.so everything went well.i tend to get all up in the air over sit. Like these,not knowing what's gonna happen ,then a...

fiercefemaleflyer · fiercefemaleflyer

My gentleman friend and I go in cycles. We get into a fight once every couple of months. I apologize and tell him I am sorry. He insists he is not mad and then we start all over again. I got really pissed off this time. I have been under the weather. (which is normal with my chronic illness) it comes in seasons...

tired of it · tired of it

When will this end? Probably never. My AH said he didn't want to drink during the week anymore but of course that was another lie.....ok, maybe not a lie but right now I am pissed off so I will call it what I want. I worked til 10 tonight so naturally he decided to drink. Then I get home at 11 to find no car i...

Marcusjohn · Marcusjohn

Today I saw my ex husband it's the first time I have seen him since my daughter has been diagnosed with liver disease and still continues to drink,my ex husband has been a drinker for years,every one bows down to him because he has a temper,he lives off benifits,he brought up the subject of our daughter,...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading is all about Just for Today.....we are reminded in the reading that all we really have to work with is today. The past is over, tomorrow has not yet come so today is our gift. We get to choose how we spend this day! The reading talks about trying new behavior - just for today. Perhaps new...

seahorselady · seahorselady

It's so nerve-racking to me when I have a messenger conversation with my AS. This is probably the 4th time he's told me he is without a place to lay his head again. I feel alot of anxiety and worry when I hear this. I dont send money or even try and give him solutions. Thats my old pattern and I am trying to bre...

sunmustshine · sunmustshine

AH has been gone for over a week. Got the text about his struggle and hope it wasn't too late to make amends, whatever that actually means. I know what it is supposed to mean, but coming from him? I didn't reply. Today the text was he doesn't want to continue like this. I just replied - I guess you'll have to c...

Fooled · Fooled

Yesterday my teenaged daughter passed her drivers license exam and is a licensed driver, instead of celebrating with us, my AH, decided to feel sorry for himself because he couldn't find a job, and all his job searching fell through, and drown himself in the strip club of a nearby town, wrecked the bik...

Iamhere · Iamhere

The reading in Courage to Change discusses that even if/when there is abuse or violence in a relationship, we have choices. We have a duty to protect ourselves and make choices that ensure our safety. Today's Reminder -- I don't have the power to change another person. If I am dealing with violence...

lookingup · lookingup

hello everyone,I'm frustrated as can be at the moment,my neighbors next door,which have been good neignores up until today when I met my neighbor at my mailbox and he tells me his water had been turned off due to non payment that they had a rough month,so he tells me they hooked my water hose to their wate...

YARNCRAZY · YARNCRAZY

One of the first,most often used slogans I learned from Alanon is "First Things First" Nearly every morning when i wake up, before all the dozens of thoughts come to my head, i say First Things First. It slows me done. I do the most important Firsts First. Taking care of me[shower,meds,breakfast] befo...

likemyheart · likemyheart

Drum roll please.... even though "my boyfriend" is not an A in any way shape or form, I am discovering that I am STILL broken in some places, seriously cracked in others - getting rid of the A didn't magically fix everything in my life, imagine that? I still need to work on me, good thing I have the tools to d...

Bethany66 · Bethany66

In my F2F meeting a certain member of our group adds a fourth C to the 3 C's - We didn't cause it, we can't cure it and we can't control it. She added but we can contribute to it. I wonder if anyone else has heard this and if so, how do you suppose we contribute to alcoholism in our life?

Calm Lady · Calm Lady

So things going along calmly in my life. Doing my thing. Enjoying it. AH doing his thing. I was thinking when all said and done. These last 13 years with a daily active drinker are all down to "what the hell was I thinking?" Me. Not him. All the lies and craziness on both sides. At first we are usually full of...

Bethany66 · Bethany66

I know I am classic codependent. I have such a terribly hard time discussing things with my AH. I guess in the past he has always found a way to make me feel horrible for any feelings I have or things I bring up that hurt my feelings. I end up apologizing to him for something before the talk is over. I hold...

Ceelee · Ceelee

I am going through some of the toughest times in my life. My Daughter is very sick with an eating disorder. The worse she is the more my AH drinks and the more I am spiraling downward. But praise my HP! I have Alanon and this board. I came here today and heard exactly what I needed to hear. Thank you! You guys a...

Ella Bella · Ella Bella

I've been married for 34 years. In 2006, my husband started drinking heavily and it spiraled until he drank every day starting first thing in the morning. I only found out about it because I put a GPS in his car and tracked him for a week. Living with him was hell. He had constant anger outbursts and my...

oceanpine · oceanpine

I think my AH just hit a crisis - but I'm not sure. I'm not sure what to make of the way events and the truth have unfolded. I would appreciate some ESH in navigating through this. We've been separated for a year, but this month we had some therapist friends come and do some intensive work with us. Their goal...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

Today's Courage offers an example of what it means to 'let go'. At a business meeting, the author summoned the courage to voice a suggestion that was not taken by group. Rather than feel defeated and offended, however, they were able to "place principles above personalities" and let it go.'Letting G...

MeTwo2 · MeTwo2

I'm up late tonight and since I have once again managed to not be able to log in to the other room, I decided to venture to this one .. I Love alanon (and always will) .. I also appreciate So much we can always find fellowship (even when we've been away) .. I am feeling So much guilt with myself .. Mainly for my...

Marcusjohn · Marcusjohn

Hi I have a daughter who has a drink problem,she is beautiful intelligent,but for the past few years myself and other family members have noticed that she drinks more and more,she has a stressful job (corporate director) and is with a partner that drinks as well and is verbally emotionally abusive to...

ed · ed

I am the father of an alcoholic adult daughter. I am a new attendee to an Al-non family group. My A adult daughter's mom also attending same Al-anon meetings. i am uncomfortable with this. Am I being a jerk? Is this common? Is there a position/policy of Al-anon regarding this. My discomfort stems fr...

joker · joker

My Alcoholic BF remains sober to this day, just over a month now since his last drink. Its been great having a sober person around. He now has become obsessed with renovating the house, and the to do list is unreal. He says this and that needs done. I am getting overloaded hearing all this. I am in fact gett...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning Everyone: Today's reading is about how we come to the program and what type of participation/service each of us may bring to it. For me the line from this page that speaks volumes is: '...each of us has something unique that we bring to the program'. I remember being at meetings and listen...

Aerin · Aerin

any Al-Anon suggestions on what to say to an alcoholic who is attempting recovery? My ABF Who is a binge drinker will go two weeks without drinking, has attended some AA meetings and then falls off the wagon and will drink again for a day. He gets up the next day stating that he has to start all over again th...

sunmustshine · sunmustshine

AH has been gone almost a week now on a bender. I'm glad he is honoring my boundaries by being out. I have to consciously not think..."how can he not want to be here". I know he has a disease and it is controlling him right now. A part of me just can't help but wonder if he's not just a rotten SOB who cares more ab...

CH_Husband_Dad · CH_Husband_Dad

So my AW is still doing great post rehab and we are doing better. One thing that really bothers me is that she started smoking regularly in rehab. I guess it's because that's what everyone does. She always had a cigarette every once in a while (while drinking out in public) but was not addicted. I'm af...

Thurrayya the Khajiit · Thurrayya the Khajiit

I did some things to help myself this weekend. Saturday morning I went to my first ever f2f meeting. It was so refreshing to see and hear all the experiences people are having. With some, it helps to know that I'm in the same boat as others. With others I felt heartbroken for all they're going through. One...

pepodwyer · pepodwyer

Hello, I am new here and I am at my wits end. I come from an alcoholic family. My father was an alcoholic, but it took me years to realize it because my mother was so good at denying it. I just knew that everything revolved around alcohol. My father passed away in 2001. Last year, my brother died from al...

a4l · a4l

None of us came to alanon because we are well. That goes for me as much as anyone else here or in the rooms of alanon around the world. I have asked that you address me here on the main board in the spirit of actual recovery and because i know all too well from experience that emotional and mental manipulatio...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

Today's reading provides the opportunity to try on a new perspective in regards to how we see our feelings and emotions. Instead of viewing resentment, jealousy, fear, and anger as 'bad', we can try viewing them simply as signals, without the value judgment of 'good/bad'.Some of those feelings may...

KT2015 · KT2015

I've been working through step three with my sponsor and she reminded me of the concept of the God box. I had been avoiding it before because I didn't think it would help but I have found lately that I have been so obsessed with my AH's drinking and the future of our relationship that I decided I was going t...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Saturday past, I played tournament softball here - the metro area does sober softball and the tournament is how we end the year/season. Of course, there is recovery everywhere and both sides of the fellowship are well represented. There are games, kids, spouses, boyfriends, girlfriends, games...

YARNCRAZY · YARNCRAZY

My divorce is final in Dec. I think detaching is forver thugh. He, in a period of clarity keeps calling me about some odd pieces of clothes that he claims are mine that he intends to mail. Believe me, when i left i took everything i wanted so i wouldnt have to return. Its a ploy so he can vaguely ask me favors a...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

I have exciting news which I'm still a little unsure about, .. my ex has agreed to a settlement. I am in SHOCK. I'm still reeling 2 days later. What I am not reeling about is realizing nothing has changed .. I know you would think I would learn .. LOL .. however whatever it is what it is, and he is who he is. ...

Ex Wife · Ex Wife

We have been divorced 9 years. It was ugly, but the last 5 years have been good. I consider him a friend and good dad, we have a son together with a medical issue. I was in a long term relationship that ended over a year ago. About 6 months ago the ex husband begins actively trying to get me back. He still drink...

geems · geems

HP is there. He gone to get coffee

YARNCRAZY · YARNCRAZY

Its been 9mths since I physically left my soon to be XAH but probally years I left him in an emotional sense. Standing alone I can see that I wasnt with my XAH for love. I had this idea after 2 failed marriages to find someone who in the future I could be secure with financially. Its way too complicated to go i...

Fooled · Fooled

I come back after a long summer. We had some good times, we had some bad times, and some eh times. My AH has been on and off sober since February. He believes in therapeutic relapses. What ever that means..... After much drama he admitted to our pastor and myself that he cant do AA because it makes h...

sunmustshine · sunmustshine

I am feeling blessed to be able to read all of the stories here that are like mine or different, the wisdom, the mistakes, the hope. I am overwhelmed with gratitude for the immense support, safety, healing and guidance found here. My AH went through months of fancy - finally, the real deal recovery. He c...

numb · numb

I am new to this. At a friends suggestion came here to start my own healing. Abbreviated story as from what i have been reading its the same as most. the pathological lying cheating blacking our with other girls everything except stealing (that i know of). we broke up, or i guess i should say he threw me aw...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Step 3 has been posted to the Step Board (Preview) Step Work BoardWhere we discuss each of the Twelve StepsIn the order they are written, one step at a time, every two weeks.Learn How The Twelve Steps Work.Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by being active on this board as we go through the 12 Steps of recovery Please...	hotrod	8	338	Oct 3, 2016 by hotrod
	New to this and feeling clueless. (Preview) Hello All, I am new to all of this. My husband is currently 24 days into inpatient rehab because of pain pill addiction and has another 10 days to go. He broke down and came clean about being addicted about 4 weeks ago. I'm not proud of my initial reaction but it would take explaining the last 20 years for so...	ilocapp	2	386	Oct 3, 2016 by Iamhere
	Sadness (Preview) I'm experiencing deep sadness over past few days. Met up with a few childhood friends recently. They have achieved so much - career, marriage, kids, house etc. I realised I have achieved nothing I had longed for growing up. Owning my own home, even a small flat or apartment was something I always drea...	Emma123	12	612	Oct 3, 2016 by Iamhere
	C2C 10-3-16 Compassion (Preview) The author of today's page admits not knowing the definition of compassion, but was pretty sure it did not include angry yelling, throwing things, name calling, or plotting revenge over perceived offenses. Yet this was the behavior they found themselves engaging in towards a loved one with the dis...	Enigmatic	3	326	Oct 3, 2016 by Iamhere
	AL-ANON MEETING, MONDAY 9:00 AM, EASTERN STANDARD TIME (Preview) Al-Anon meeting in the chat room in approximately 30 minutes. Come on in and join us! Link: www.12stepforums.net/chatroom2.html A-Anon Meetings Schedule: Monday-Friday 9 a.m. and 9 p.m. Eastern Standard Time; Sunday 10 a.m. and 7 p.m. Eastern Standard Time...UK +5 hours, Central -1 hour, Mou...	shimo	2	1529	Oct 3, 2016 by geems
	Courage to Change Reading 10-2 (Preview) C2C reading for October 2 speaks about serving in the various service positions at an Al-Anon group meeting. The reading suggests that when we volunteer and assume one of these responsibilities to the group, it often brings us in frequent contact with newcomers. This contact is extreme...	hotrod	5	366	Oct 2, 2016 by Cathyinaz
	Confused (Preview) My ExAH and I have not lived together in almost 4 years. We have been officially divorced for 1.5 years. I have been in Alanon for almost 5 years. Early on in the split I met a man. He seemed a perfect mate in so many ways. I felt that he met my needs, respected my boundaries and accepted my baggage. As th...	Tossed Salad	11	545	Oct 2, 2016 by Iamhere
	off topic, champix. (Preview) I read about champix here and I'm on day 5. Ready for a physical makeover of health and this 21 year smoking habit needs to go. I tried quitting three times in my life including now. I'm currently down to 4 smokes a day, my last two attempts lasted exactly 24 hours. But I learned a lot about my relationship w...	a4l	18	515	Oct 2, 2016 by Iamhere
	Another death threat...hmmmm (Preview) I got a text msg from a client who's property I manage which asked me to check on his renter as there was a report of some "issues". Well not really and after I went over to check on them I learned that the neighbor across the road was acting insane (drugs and alcohol?) and was shouting at them Friday nigh...	Jerry F	6	410	Oct 2, 2016 by Iamhere
	Dealing with Passive Aggressive People (Preview) Pre alanon when somebody did me a dirty behind the scenes, I would bite on that bait and have a full on battle...behind the scenes. Today when somebody tried to be passive aggressive behind the scenes...in secret...I left them there dangling. Did not respond nor acknowledge their existence in my da...	geems	13	639	Oct 2, 2016 by hotrod
	Self love -- ESH needed! (Preview) It's been about a month since I broke up with my abh. My sense of self/identity/worth was really wrapped up in his attention/approval. As part of my healing/recovery, I know I need to keep working my program and strengthen/understand aspects of myself before I even consider dating anyone again and t...	e_i_m	19	702	Oct 2, 2016 by e_i_m
	Courage to Change 1/10 (Preview) Todays's c2c speaks of those moments when we become aware of how fast and chaotic our thinking has become, filled with memories and resentments and guilt, and projections about the future. When we recognise this chaotic thinking and take the time to reach out and talk about it, it tends to all fall bac...	MissM	5	398	Oct 2, 2016 by Calm Lady
	In recovery (Preview) hello again,hope all is well.i seem to find qualifiers ,is this normal ? Even though I'm living alone .i found a young 32 yo man that has asked to borrow my lawnmower and keep my yard mowed in return of using my mower,I'm easy to make freinds ,we have become freinds ,him and his mom.theyve agreed to pay me t...	lookingup	11	536	Oct 2, 2016 by lookingup
	If I did not believe in God last night changed my mind... (Preview) yesterday was a rough day for me when a bunch of friends (online mostly) who i love adore admire and trust, handed my my tush online for some thinking they don't agree with. I have agreed to disagree with them (this morning) but I still have feelings of letting them down.... but that's not what I want to s...	ladybugnessa	6	796	Oct 1, 2016 by Iamhere
	Don't want to give up! (Preview) My "recovering alcoholic" I say recovering lightly as he quite going to AA about a year and a half into recovery. He doesn't drink but he has a hobby that consumes him. If I try to leave him or move away from him emotionally he freaks out. He does good for a couple weeks, then he freaks out at the relationshi...	fiercefemaleflyer	6	471	Oct 1, 2016 by Iamhere
	if you were in my shoes... (Preview) So Thursday or Friday has passed. Earlier were the days about my husband worrying about losing his drinking friends, how I left him by himself to seek medical attention (loosing all his front teeth, drunk accident - is that something he cannot do by himself?), about convincing me that there is nothin...	jocelgp	7	454	Oct 1, 2016 by Iamhere
	Trying to move on (Preview) Hi everybody, hope you are well. I`m new here. I found this place after looking for help and realizing no one around me can really understand what I`m feeling. I`ve read some posts and I see I can relate to many of the things said here. (This text was like a catharsis for me so it`s quite long. Im sorry) I dat...	Rain0828	7	388	Oct 1, 2016 by Rain0828
	I didn't know how truly naive I am. (Preview) I have lost a friend today. He was not only a principal in my district, but also a father to four of my daughter's best friends. He left behind two amazing boys and his wife who is one of my best friends. He was an extremely good man and a Godly man. I felt very angry at my AH today for things that are mediocre c...	CEH	16	720	Oct 1, 2016 by CEH
	sort of a revelation this week into the alcoholic and just a late night share . (Preview) So i thought i would share this aware on the off chance it will be 'heard and help bring comfort to another suffering through the same or similar .. one thing i know in alanon .. when we do the work we hear when we are supposed to and not a second sooner .. When i first came to alanon i came because of a meth addi...	MeTwo2	12	447	Oct 1, 2016 by MeTwo2
	Update on neighbors (Preview) All ended well,neighbors took care of everything paid everything and undone my water ,water dept never had to Come out ,sounds like I fretted over nothing ,but then it was a alarming sit.so everything went well.i tend to get all up in the air over sit. Like these,not knowing what's gonna happen ,then a...	lookingup	4	346	Oct 1, 2016 by lookingup
	On the edge (Preview) My gentleman friend and I go in cycles. We get into a fight once every couple of months. I apologize and tell him I am sorry. He insists he is not mad and then we start all over again. I got really pissed off this time. I have been under the weather. (which is normal with my chronic illness) it comes in seasons...	fiercefemaleflyer	3	324	Oct 1, 2016 by geems
	Really want to yell tonight! (Preview) When will this end? Probably never. My AH said he didn't want to drink during the week anymore but of course that was another lie.....ok, maybe not a lie but right now I am pissed off so I will call it what I want. I worked til 10 tonight so naturally he decided to drink. Then I get home at 11 to find no car i...	tired of it	11	521	Oct 1, 2016 by el-cee
	Crazy making (Preview) Today I saw my ex husband it's the first time I have seen him since my daughter has been diagnosed with liver disease and still continues to drink,my ex husband has been a drinker for years,every one bows down to him because he has a temper,he lives off benifits,he brought up the subject of our daughter,...	Marcusjohn	4	382	Sep 30, 2016 by Iamhere
	Courage to Change (C2C) 9/30/16 (Preview) Today's reading is all about Just for Today.....we are reminded in the reading that all we really have to work with is today. The past is over, tomorrow has not yet come so today is our gift. We get to choose how we spend this day! The reading talks about trying new behavior - just for today. Perhaps new...	Iamhere	2	306	Sep 30, 2016 by lookingup
	This is unbelievably nerve-racking (Preview) It's so nerve-racking to me when I have a messenger conversation with my AS. This is probably the 4th time he's told me he is without a place to lay his head again. I feel alot of anxiety and worry when I hear this. I dont send money or even try and give him solutions. Thats my old pattern and I am trying to bre...	seahorselady	17	637	Sep 30, 2016 by Bethany66
	It Begins Again (Preview) AH has been gone for over a week. Got the text about his struggle and hope it wasn't too late to make amends, whatever that actually means. I know what it is supposed to mean, but coming from him? I didn't reply. Today the text was he doesn't want to continue like this. I just replied - I guess you'll have to c...	sunmustshine	5	434	Sep 30, 2016 by sunmustshine
	Full consequences (Preview) Yesterday my teenaged daughter passed her drivers license exam and is a licensed driver, instead of celebrating with us, my AH, decided to feel sorry for himself because he couldn't find a job, and all his job searching fell through, and drown himself in the strip club of a nearby town, wrecked the bik...	Fooled	37	840	Sep 30, 2016 by Iamhere
	Courage to Change (C2C) 9/29/16 (Preview) The reading in Courage to Change discusses that even if/when there is abuse or violence in a relationship, we have choices. We have a duty to protect ourselves and make choices that ensure our safety. Today's Reminder -- I don't have the power to change another person. If I am dealing with violence...	Iamhere	9	421	Sep 30, 2016 by lookingup
	Neighbors (Preview) hello everyone,I'm frustrated as can be at the moment,my neighbors next door,which have been good neignores up until today when I met my neighbor at my mailbox and he tells me his water had been turned off due to non payment that they had a rough month,so he tells me they hooked my water hose to their wate...	lookingup	3	416	Sep 29, 2016 by lookingup
	First Things First (Preview) One of the first,most often used slogans I learned from Alanon is "First Things First" Nearly every morning when i wake up, before all the dozens of thoughts come to my head, i say First Things First. It slows me done. I do the most important Firsts First. Taking care of me[shower,meds,breakfast] befo...	YARNCRAZY	5	441	Sep 29, 2016 by tucker
	I'm still broken, where's the super glue? (Preview) Drum roll please.... even though "my boyfriend" is not an A in any way shape or form, I am discovering that I am STILL broken in some places, seriously cracked in others - getting rid of the A didn't magically fix everything in my life, imagine that? I still need to work on me, good thing I have the tools to d...	likemyheart	11	659	Sep 29, 2016 by likemyheart
	Question regarding the 3 C's - Someone added a fourth (Preview) In my F2F meeting a certain member of our group adds a fourth C to the 3 C's - We didn't cause it, we can't cure it and we can't control it. She added but we can contribute to it. I wonder if anyone else has heard this and if so, how do you suppose we contribute to alcoholism in our life?	Bethany66	6	554	Sep 29, 2016 by Iamhere
	My truth (Preview) So things going along calmly in my life. Doing my thing. Enjoying it. AH doing his thing. I was thinking when all said and done. These last 13 years with a daily active drinker are all down to "what the hell was I thinking?" Me. Not him. All the lies and craziness on both sides. At first we are usually full of...	Calm Lady	19	566	Sep 29, 2016 by Iamhere
	Is it beneficial to try to talk about it? (Preview) I know I am classic codependent. I have such a terribly hard time discussing things with my AH. I guess in the past he has always found a way to make me feel horrible for any feelings I have or things I bring up that hurt my feelings. I end up apologizing to him for something before the talk is over. I hold...	Bethany66	19	647	Sep 29, 2016 by El
	Thank You (Preview) I am going through some of the toughest times in my life. My Daughter is very sick with an eating disorder. The worse she is the more my AH drinks and the more I am spiraling downward. But praise my HP! I have Alanon and this board. I came here today and heard exactly what I needed to hear. Thank you! You guys a...	Ceelee	8	398	Sep 29, 2016 by jitsuka
	New - Need help with Dry Drunk syndrome ( 1 2 ) (Preview) I've been married for 34 years. In 2006, my husband started drinking heavily and it spiraled until he drank every day starting first thing in the morning. I only found out about it because I put a GPS in his car and tracked him for a week. Living with him was hell. He had constant anger outbursts and my...	Ella Bella	56	1404	Sep 28, 2016 by hotrod
	trying to stay focused on the heart of the matter (Preview) I think my AH just hit a crisis - but I'm not sure. I'm not sure what to make of the way events and the truth have unfolded. I would appreciate some ESH in navigating through this. We've been separated for a year, but this month we had some therapist friends come and do some intensive work with us. Their goal...	oceanpine	7	446	Sep 28, 2016 by Ceelee
	C2C 9/28/16 Focus on the Action, Not its Fruits (Preview) Today's Courage offers an example of what it means to 'let go'. At a business meeting, the author summoned the courage to voice a suggestion that was not taken by group. Rather than feel defeated and offended, however, they were able to "place principles above personalities" and let it go.'Letting G...	Enigmatic	4	470	Sep 28, 2016 by MeTwo2
	Alcoholism (change) (Preview) I'm up late tonight and since I have once again managed to not be able to log in to the other room, I decided to venture to this one .. I Love alanon (and always will) .. I also appreciate So much we can always find fellowship (even when we've been away) .. I am feeling So much guilt with myself .. Mainly for my...	MeTwo2	3	473	Sep 28, 2016 by MeTwo2
	Feeling helpless,scared and angry (Preview) Hi I have a daughter who has a drink problem,she is beautiful intelligent,but for the past few years myself and other family members have noticed that she drinks more and more,she has a stressful job (corporate director) and is with a partner that drinks as well and is verbally emotionally abusive to...	Marcusjohn	5	1782	Sep 27, 2016 by Iamhere
	A adult daughter's mom also attending Al-anon (Preview) I am the father of an alcoholic adult daughter. I am a new attendee to an Al-non family group. My A adult daughter's mom also attending same Al-anon meetings. i am uncomfortable with this. Am I being a jerk? Is this common? Is there a position/policy of Al-anon regarding this. My discomfort stems fr...	ed	8	392	Sep 27, 2016 by ed
	feeling like I am going crazy (Preview) My Alcoholic BF remains sober to this day, just over a month now since his last drink. Its been great having a sober person around. He now has become obsessed with renovating the house, and the to do list is unreal. He says this and that needs done. I am getting overloaded hearing all this. I am in fact gett...	joker	4	546	Sep 27, 2016 by el-cee
	Hope for Today Sept 27 (Preview) Good morning Everyone: Today's reading is about how we come to the program and what type of participation/service each of us may bring to it. For me the line from this page that speaks volumes is: '...each of us has something unique that we bring to the program'. I remember being at meetings and listen...	yanksfan51	4	445	Sep 27, 2016 by DavidG
	What Can I Say To ABF (Preview) any Al-Anon suggestions on what to say to an alcoholic who is attempting recovery? My ABF Who is a binge drinker will go two weeks without drinking, has attended some AA meetings and then falls off the wagon and will drink again for a day. He gets up the next day stating that he has to start all over again th...	Aerin	8	532	Sep 27, 2016 by Jerry F
	So odd (Preview) AH has been gone almost a week now on a bender. I'm glad he is honoring my boundaries by being out. I have to consciously not think..."how can he not want to be here". I know he has a disease and it is controlling him right now. A part of me just can't help but wonder if he's not just a rotten SOB who cares more ab...	sunmustshine	10	447	Sep 27, 2016 by Bethany66
	AW began smoking in rehab (Preview) So my AW is still doing great post rehab and we are doing better. One thing that really bothers me is that she started smoking regularly in rehab. I guess it's because that's what everyone does. She always had a cigarette every once in a while (while drinking out in public) but was not addicted. I'm af...	CH_Husband_Dad	13	571	Sep 27, 2016 by jojo8466
	Some Happy Updates (Preview) I did some things to help myself this weekend. Saturday morning I went to my first ever f2f meeting. It was so refreshing to see and hear all the experiences people are having. With some, it helps to know that I'm in the same boat as others. With others I felt heartbroken for all they're going through. One...	Thurrayya the Khajiit	6	508	Sep 27, 2016 by milkwood
	New here (Preview) Hello, I am new here and I am at my wits end. I come from an alcoholic family. My father was an alcoholic, but it took me years to realize it because my mother was so good at denying it. I just knew that everything revolved around alcohol. My father passed away in 2001. Last year, my brother died from al...	pepodwyer	4	410	Sep 27, 2016 by Ann_M_Y
	dearest jaclyn (closed) (Preview) None of us came to alanon because we are well. That goes for me as much as anyone else here or in the rooms of alanon around the world. I have asked that you address me here on the main board in the spirit of actual recovery and because i know all too well from experience that emotional and mental manipulatio...	a4l	0	408	Sep 26, 2016 by a4l
	C2C 9-26-16 How Do We Feel About Our Feelings? (Preview) Today's reading provides the opportunity to try on a new perspective in regards to how we see our feelings and emotions. Instead of viewing resentment, jealousy, fear, and anger as 'bad', we can try viewing them simply as signals, without the value judgment of 'good/bad'.Some of those feelings may...	Enigmatic	3	485	Sep 26, 2016 by a4l
	Feeling powerless (Preview) I've been working through step three with my sponsor and she reminded me of the concept of the God box. I had been avoiding it before because I didn't think it would help but I have found lately that I have been so obsessed with my AH's drinking and the future of our relationship that I decided I was going t...	KT2015	7	501	Sep 26, 2016 by KT2015
	Fellowship, Freedom and Service Work - the Miracle of Recovery... (Preview) Saturday past, I played tournament softball here - the metro area does sober softball and the tournament is how we end the year/season. Of course, there is recovery everywhere and both sides of the fellowship are well represented. There are games, kids, spouses, boyfriends, girlfriends, games...	Iamhere	3	430	Sep 26, 2016 by hotrod
	aLMOST XAH (Preview) My divorce is final in Dec. I think detaching is forver thugh. He, in a period of clarity keeps calling me about some odd pieces of clothes that he claims are mine that he intends to mail. Believe me, when i left i took everything i wanted so i wouldnt have to return. Its a ploy so he can vaguely ask me favors a...	YARNCRAZY	1	367	Sep 26, 2016 by Iamhere
	Update :) (Preview) I have exciting news which I'm still a little unsure about, .. my ex has agreed to a settlement. I am in SHOCK. I'm still reeling 2 days later. What I am not reeling about is realizing nothing has changed .. I know you would think I would learn .. LOL .. however whatever it is what it is, and he is who he is. ...	SerenityRUS	9	530	Sep 26, 2016 by likemyheart
	Ex Husband and Addict wants us back (Preview) We have been divorced 9 years. It was ugly, but the last 5 years have been good. I consider him a friend and good dad, we have a son together with a medical issue. I was in a long term relationship that ended over a year ago. About 6 months ago the ex husband begins actively trying to get me back. He still drink...	Ex Wife	6	486	Sep 26, 2016 by deacon
	Tips on how to conduct meeting when it's just oneself in attendance. Idlers notwithstanding. Anybody? (Preview) HP is there. He gone to get coffee	geems	3	375	Sep 26, 2016 by geems
	Confession time (Preview) Its been 9mths since I physically left my soon to be XAH but probally years I left him in an emotional sense. Standing alone I can see that I wasnt with my XAH for love. I had this idea after 2 failed marriages to find someone who in the future I could be secure with financially. Its way too complicated to go i...	YARNCRAZY	3	415	Sep 26, 2016 by Iamhere
	Putting it here, instead of (Preview) I come back after a long summer. We had some good times, we had some bad times, and some eh times. My AH has been on and off sober since February. He believes in therapeutic relapses. What ever that means..... After much drama he admitted to our pastor and myself that he cant do AA because it makes h...	Fooled	20	626	Sep 26, 2016 by geems
	So Glad You Are All Here (Preview) I am feeling blessed to be able to read all of the stories here that are like mine or different, the wisdom, the mistakes, the hope. I am overwhelmed with gratitude for the immense support, safety, healing and guidance found here. My AH went through months of fancy - finally, the real deal recovery. He c...	sunmustshine	8	416	Sep 25, 2016 by tired of it
	Amends? Help feel like im in a black hole! (Preview) I am new to this. At a friends suggestion came here to start my own healing. Abbreviated story as from what i have been reading its the same as most. the pathological lying cheating blacking our with other girls everything except stealing (that i know of). we broke up, or i guess i should say he threw me aw...	numb	28	794	Sep 25, 2016 by sunmustshine
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.