Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

hiraeth · hiraeth

I'm having a bit of difficulty here. Yesterday morning I received the sad news that my mother has relapsed. She'd been sober for about 6 months. I have ostracized myself from my entire family so have barely had contact with her for the past couple of years, so I learned that she has begun drinking again v...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading discusses how we learn to accept life on life's terms - and the rewards for practicing this in all our affairs. The reading discusses how many of us wanted change and expected change. Many of us had even tried to force change and felt we were stuck in our lives. Many of us are 'doers' - '...

Aerin · Aerin

Okay so is this normal? ABF finally started AA and has been going for one week. That is of course a good step. He still admits it seems like forever to get to 30 days but it is his goal. (he still also doesn't quite grasp that this will be a lifelong recovery, as he is thinking one day he can drink socially) Any...

e_i_m · e_i_m

One of my biggest challenges in life is letting go of expectations. A favorite al-anon line is "expectations are pre-meditated resentments" (from one of the daily readers). Today, I recognized a new area of expectations leading to resentment and have the opportunity to let go of (or hang on to) thes...

chefpilsy · chefpilsy

Hi everyone - I am new here, and in great need of advice. I have been married 22 years. Husband had DUI 3 years into our marriage and lost license for two years. He did well for a number of years after that, but then I started finding little bottles around, and could easily see he was drinking but he freq...

Joba15 · Joba15

Hi I'm new to this,my husband is an alcoholic. I am trying to cope and would appreciate any advise of how to get threw each day!! He is in therapy,has a sponsor and is trying to work threw this. I have trouble with his lies and the fact I can't control his disease. I think I need advice of how to make changes...

Fooled · Fooled

So RAH and I did not have a great day. On the way to IOP day 2 I asked him about the mandatory AA meetings which I know he hates. He came back with well I thought I was doing the faith based meetings. I said well they are only held on Fridays what about the other 3? Ill take you but I was just wondering abo...

hiraeth · hiraeth

Yikes. I'm going on a bit of a tiz - I can feel it! I've come here to seek your wisdom and to share. All these thoughts and feelings are very familiar ***Edited at the request of the member who posted*** So, I'm experienced with loving alcoholics, and it gives me this idea that I know how it works (LOL!!! I kn...

jocelgp · jocelgp

There goes my 83 year old mom again. As I've said in my other posts I try not to bother myself with my husband's whereabouts trusting that the truth will be revealed as to where he goes everyday. I think it will show sooner or later. He doesn't go out at night but he would always leave after lunch and come...

lookingup · lookingup

I only really have 2 places to do my venting,you all be my no 1 place and only place right now ,my no 2 place is my counselor which I haven't talked to in a year,I try to not vent to my foo or freinds for they really don't understand me to which I'm a new person with alanon knowledge I have,my life seems to be a mes...

wildhorsehomimy · wildhorsehomimy

this is my first time trying to post on the message board...dont't know how really...but just to say when i give up my imagined control, i find rest

Iamhere · Iamhere

Happy Thursday to one and all! Today's reading is about staying open in recovery. No matter how long we have been around, keeping our minds and hearts open for opportunities to learn will help us continue to grow in our spiritual program. Even if we've been around a long while, there is always someth...

lookingup · lookingup

Just reading some of my old posts,thinking..did I really say that?lol,didnt sound like me,the me I thought I knew,lol.for a sec.thought someone else had posted it.no it was actually me,such growth,I saw in myself in my postings,I have come along way........thank you alanon!!.....lu

dragonflyinn · dragonflyinn

I wrote my first post earlier this week about my A ex husband and concerns regarding the safety of our children when they are with him. Since that time, I did some research and found that he had an extreme DUI back in Jan, served 8 days in jail and 22 days of in home detention and he never told me about it. He l...

kspec85 · kspec85

So Monday I told abf that if he wanted to live like a drug addict, he could go live with drug addicts. Hes been gone ever since. He came by my house yesterday while I was at work and took his motorcycle. I did not see where he took any clothes. I feel like a fool for missing him. I had some brand new locks in the ho...

aloraine22 · aloraine22

This is my first time doing something like this... at this point, I don't even know if it will be worth it. I have been dating my boyfriend for about a year now. I have been doing everything I can to show him love and support since I discovered he had a problem with alcohol. I spoke with his mother every sing...

fiercefemaleflyer · fiercefemaleflyer

Hello Group, I have been purposely giving my recovering alcoholic some space. Tonight I gave in and engaged. We had a great meaningful conversation. So meaningful he opened up to me more than he has in a bit. He told me that he has been so busy going through the motions lately that he hasn't put much thoug...

andromeda · andromeda

Hi everyone, I am going through my steps once again with my sponsor. I wanted to find out what your thoughts were about step 3. How did you feel working through it? What challenges were present in your life at that time? Was it a pivotal step to your recovery and why? I hope this topic helps others who...

sunmustshine · sunmustshine

AH wasn't home 2 days from his heartfelt "can't do this anymore" plea to sober up and get back into programs etc...and yes, come home. Started to wind himself up over something that became his last excuse for a bender. I ignored it. Then he goes and says we need to go over the bills because I've been wastin...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

Today's C2C addresses those times when we are down, feel lost, and everything we think of has a bad ending. Those times... A tool AlAnon recommends trying is "Think". Not in the "continue to think about the negatives" way, but in the C2C p. 64 way: 1) Stop reacting, obsessing, worrying about the future...

e_i_m · e_i_m

I was sitting in bed after just waking up this morning and I saw my laundry basket. I have had this laundry basket for at least 17 years. It's just a simple wicker basket with handles. Nothing unusual at all. I had been shopping at one of my favorite thrift stores a few days ago and had seen a similar one and t...

El · El

Wow. I had such a strong presence of my HP walking with me today. I have been reading about folks using God boxes and I have a slightly different version.... in that I actually sit down and draw.... sending any specific worry or concern or need of guidance up to my HP (whom I call God). I am not an artist b...

YARNCRAZY · YARNCRAZY

Really love the posts on laundry baskets etc. I was feeling a loss of confidence this morning[lack of job] and it made me smile. I have 2 purple baskets that i ahem [borrowed] from the 99c store. I use them for laundry as they have good handles and fit two loads in them. I have to descend a small amount of ste...

Ann_M_Y · Ann_M_Y

I am feeling very conflicted. I hate my AH when he is drinking but I love him when he is not. He went 4 days without drinking and I was starting to think that it might stick this time. I am leaving for a work trip for a week. I am looking forward to it because it will give me a break but I also fear it too. I will be wo...

Ceelee · Ceelee

My AH went to a rehab this morning. Why do I have a conflict going on inside? I'm happy he is getting the help he needs. I'm scared that he won't get the help he needs. I'm scared about money because he is the breadwinner and we are already way behind on our bills. I have some convoluted responsibility somew...

Fooled · Fooled

Today was AH first day of iop. Intensive Outpatient. Now I know this is not just about me and I do have a tendency to be self righteous so please tell me if I am doing so. I went to work early so I could take him as he cannot drive. I mainly work from home, but 4 days a week I have meetings in various locati...

Dlove · Dlove

I am so disgusted with myself, with my AH and with alcoholism. I am having a pity party and I need to vent so I can move on. My AH was clean and sober for 13 years. We have been together for almost 13 years and about a year ago he started drinking. This behavior was new to me. I never dealt with an alcoholic befor...

El · El

Tonight is my weekly home meeting and I usually look forward to it and feel the need for it. However, I decided to concentrate on program materials at home instead. I did a ton of running around today; constantly in and out of the car and tending to others' needs.....namely my 90 year old mother. Hubb...

Tossed Salad · Tossed Salad

I am a very grateful member of this fellowship and think I have a pretty good handle on managing the day to day craziness from my exAH. Unfortunately, he is lashing out at me more viciously than ever this past week. I use my tools and can weather the harsh words without taking it personally. I turn him a...

giraffe13 · giraffe13

I woke up today on a great fall day , feeling great, after nine months of a new relationship with a non drinker. An angel I might add. :) But for some reason, and maybe it is another step along my path to recovery and healing (?) I ended up on the computer writing a letter to my ex alcoholic bf. I sat down to do wo...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

I don't know what it is but something is up with my son. God grant me the serenity for the things I can not change the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference ((( hugs )))

Jerry F · Jerry F

So I went down town to the bay and the hotel neighborhood because I thought (another brag) there would be a meeting of political interest I could attend and I couldn't find it and what I did find was so warm and loving. I turned a corner to go back to my van and there she was all beautiful and smiling and fu...

KT2015 · KT2015

Every day in this program I feel I am making progress. I have been utilizing the God Box and that really helps me to hand things over or let them go. I'm learning to focus more and more on myself and my actions. I realized that I was having difficulty with sleep and I wasn't really doing much to improve it...

tired of it · tired of it

I really want to ask my AH if he thinks I am an idiot when it comes to his sneaking drinks at night. I know when he is drinking but I am not supposed to confront him and if I did he would just lie anyway. So my question is this: do you know that we know when you are drinking even when we don't say anything? I don...

themoonandthestars · themoonandthestars

This popped up in my fb feed this am. JUST what I needed to know that I have done enough for my qualifiers.

Thurrayya the Khajiit · Thurrayya the Khajiit

My ex-ABH moved out Friday. I was so relieved Friday night that I got a brilliant night's sleep. But then when I woke up the next morning, I saw the horrendous mess that my apartment had become. A lot of it was him. I remember earlier in the week my dishwasher got fixed and he said "so does this mean you will...

Gbracero123 · Gbracero123

I am NEW to this site and the concept of al-anon but am no stranger to being dragged along by an alcoholic loved one . About two years ago while in the middle of extreme crisis - living in and out of homeless shelters and sleeping on and off everyone's couch and even in my car with my three children I came acro...

MissM · MissM

Oh so very grateful today for the time I have spent thus far honing my al-anon tools and yes, even for the miserable, alcohol soaked, codependent relationship that brought me here in the first place. Every minute of it, as it turns out. See, this almost 14 year old that I share a house with just becomes mo...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning everyone: Wow--this reading hits home with me today. The writer describes a kitchen she has lived with for over 20 years. She doesn't like the pattern of the wallpaper, but has been worried about taking it down because she isn't sure what will be underneath. Ultimately she does decid...

Marcusjohn · Marcusjohn

went to my first al-aLon meeting,very glad I went was very nerve racking,but felt I fitted in,defo will go back.thanks to the people who suggested for me to go to an face to face meeting

Gbracero123 · Gbracero123

Yesterday I found this site and have found some posts here that were really relatable offering a level of support while I was simultaneously being emotionally accosted by my ABF. Got cursed out all day on and off , had videos sent to me ranging from what would be considered "romantic " to hardcore rap...

dragonflyinn · dragonflyinn

Hi, I am new to the boards. This is my first post. I was with my ex for 18 years. We had been married for 11, and have been divorced for 2. We have three young children (range from 8-6). He drank a lot when we were married, but would not have classified him as an "alcholic" at the time (but I may have been bl...

fiercefemaleflyer · fiercefemaleflyer

I have read a few good books on co-dependancy. I know there is an AA book with steps in it. Was just wondering if there was an Al-Anon equivilant? thanks

fiercefemaleflyer · fiercefemaleflyer

As I read more and more of your stories and think about the relationships I have with quite a few recovering alcohilics. It dawned on me. What have you all done to maintain successfull relationships with the recovering alcoholics in your lives? What kinf of success stories do you all have?

kspec85 · kspec85

So today I called abf on my lunch. Sobriety was ok until last week when he drank a couple times. I totally maintained my serenity and was proud of how I handled myself. Anyways I called him on lunch and a funky intuition went off within me. He said he had stopped at a drugstore to use the bathroom and now he wa...

burr1017 · burr1017

Been with my ABF for 3+ years. He drank daily the first 2 years but after several "incidences" and a couple brief break ups, he's realized his drinking is a problem and has drastically cut down in the last year. He'd quit drinking entirely for 2.5-3 months, after another irresponsible incident, then s...

Fifi16 · Fifi16

My husband got into a one car (him) accident because of drinking and drugs. Lawyer finally got him into a rehab for 28 days and now I've got to handle everything

hotrod · hotrod

Step Work BoardWhere we discuss each of the Twelve StepsIn the order they are written, one step at a time, every two weeks.Learn How The Twelve Steps Work.Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by being active on this board as we go through the 12 Steps of recovery Please...

ilocapp · ilocapp

Hello All, I am new to all of this. My husband is currently 24 days into inpatient rehab because of pain pill addiction and has another 10 days to go. He broke down and came clean about being addicted about 4 weeks ago. I'm not proud of my initial reaction but it would take explaining the last 20 years for so...

Emma123 · Emma123

I'm experiencing deep sadness over past few days. Met up with a few childhood friends recently. They have achieved so much - career, marriage, kids, house etc. I realised I have achieved nothing I had longed for growing up. Owning my own home, even a small flat or apartment was something I always drea...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

The author of today's page admits not knowing the definition of compassion, but was pretty sure it did not include angry yelling, throwing things, name calling, or plotting revenge over perceived offenses. Yet this was the behavior they found themselves engaging in towards a loved one with the dis...

shimo · shimo

Al-Anon meeting in the chat room in approximately 30 minutes. Come on in and join us! Link: www.12stepforums.net/chatroom2.html A-Anon Meetings Schedule: Monday-Friday 9 a.m. and 9 p.m. Eastern Standard Time; Sunday 10 a.m. and 7 p.m. Eastern Standard Time...UK +5 hours, Central -1 hour, Mou...

hotrod · hotrod

C2C reading for October 2 speaks about serving in the various service positions at an Al-Anon group meeting. The reading suggests that when we volunteer and assume one of these responsibilities to the group, it often brings us in frequent contact with newcomers. This contact is extreme...

Tossed Salad · Tossed Salad

My ExAH and I have not lived together in almost 4 years. We have been officially divorced for 1.5 years. I have been in Alanon for almost 5 years. Early on in the split I met a man. He seemed a perfect mate in so many ways. I felt that he met my needs, respected my boundaries and accepted my baggage. As th...

a4l · a4l

I read about champix here and I'm on day 5. Ready for a physical makeover of health and this 21 year smoking habit needs to go. I tried quitting three times in my life including now. I'm currently down to 4 smokes a day, my last two attempts lasted exactly 24 hours. But I learned a lot about my relationship w...

Jerry F · Jerry F

I got a text msg from a client who's property I manage which asked me to check on his renter as there was a report of some "issues". Well not really and after I went over to check on them I learned that the neighbor across the road was acting insane (drugs and alcohol?) and was shouting at them Friday nigh...

geems · geems

Pre alanon when somebody did me a dirty behind the scenes, I would bite on that bait and have a full on battle...behind the scenes. Today when somebody tried to be passive aggressive behind the scenes...in secret...I left them there dangling. Did not respond nor acknowledge their existence in my da...

e_i_m · e_i_m

It's been about a month since I broke up with my abh. My sense of self/identity/worth was really wrapped up in his attention/approval. As part of my healing/recovery, I know I need to keep working my program and strengthen/understand aspects of myself before I even consider dating anyone again and t...

MissM · MissM

Todays's c2c speaks of those moments when we become aware of how fast and chaotic our thinking has become, filled with memories and resentments and guilt, and projections about the future. When we recognise this chaotic thinking and take the time to reach out and talk about it, it tends to all fall bac...

lookingup · lookingup

hello again,hope all is well.i seem to find qualifiers ,is this normal ? Even though I'm living alone .i found a young 32 yo man that has asked to borrow my lawnmower and keep my yard mowed in return of using my mower,I'm easy to make freinds ,we have become freinds ,him and his mom.theyve agreed to pay me t...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	mother relapsed, sister homeless, I'm struggling with surrender (Preview) I'm having a bit of difficulty here. Yesterday morning I received the sad news that my mother has relapsed. She'd been sober for about 6 months. I have ostracized myself from my entire family so have barely had contact with her for the past couple of years, so I learned that she has begun drinking again v...	hiraeth	5	2404	Oct 7, 2016 by hotrod
	Courage to Change (C2C) 10/7/16 (Preview) Today's reading discusses how we learn to accept life on life's terms - and the rewards for practicing this in all our affairs. The reading discusses how many of us wanted change and expected change. Many of us had even tried to force change and felt we were stuck in our lives. Many of us are 'doers' - '...	Iamhere	1	420	Oct 7, 2016 by hotrod
	A in AA one week and acting smug (Preview) Okay so is this normal? ABF finally started AA and has been going for one week. That is of course a good step. He still admits it seems like forever to get to 30 days but it is his goal. (he still also doesn't quite grasp that this will be a lifelong recovery, as he is thinking one day he can drink socially) Any...	Aerin	21	793	Oct 7, 2016 by Iamhere
	Expectations (Preview) One of my biggest challenges in life is letting go of expectations. A favorite al-anon line is "expectations are pre-meditated resentments" (from one of the daily readers). Today, I recognized a new area of expectations leading to resentment and have the opportunity to let go of (or hang on to) thes...	e_i_m	6	657	Oct 7, 2016 by Rosemeyer
	Dealing with DUIs (Preview) Hi everyone - I am new here, and in great need of advice. I have been married 22 years. Husband had DUI 3 years into our marriage and lost license for two years. He did well for a number of years after that, but then I started finding little bottles around, and could easily see he was drinking but he freq...	chefpilsy	8	518	Oct 7, 2016 by chefpilsy
	New to this just looking for advice (Preview) Hi I'm new to this,my husband is an alcoholic. I am trying to cope and would appreciate any advise of how to get threw each day!! He is in therapy,has a sponsor and is trying to work threw this. I have trouble with his lies and the fact I can't control his disease. I think I need advice of how to make changes...	Joba15	4	509	Oct 6, 2016 by Iamhere
	Mighty to save (Preview) So RAH and I did not have a great day. On the way to IOP day 2 I asked him about the mandatory AA meetings which I know he hates. He came back with well I thought I was doing the faith based meetings. I said well they are only held on Fridays what about the other 3? Ill take you but I was just wondering abo...	Fooled	15	570	Oct 6, 2016 by Iamhere
	please help (Preview) Yikes. I'm going on a bit of a tiz - I can feel it! I've come here to seek your wisdom and to share. All these thoughts and feelings are very familiar *Edited at the request of the member who posted* So, I'm experienced with loving alcoholics, and it gives me this idea that I know how it works (LOL!!! I kn...	hiraeth	9	698	Oct 6, 2016 by DavidG
	my mom's remark made me feel bad (Preview) There goes my 83 year old mom again. As I've said in my other posts I try not to bother myself with my husband's whereabouts trusting that the truth will be revealed as to where he goes everyday. I think it will show sooner or later. He doesn't go out at night but he would always leave after lunch and come...	jocelgp	11	673	Oct 6, 2016 by maryjane
	Life's a mess (Preview) I only really have 2 places to do my venting,you all be my no 1 place and only place right now ,my no 2 place is my counselor which I haven't talked to in a year,I try to not vent to my foo or freinds for they really don't understand me to which I'm a new person with alanon knowledge I have,my life seems to be a mes...	lookingup	8	616	Oct 6, 2016 by maryjane
	"control to rest" ocarina18 (Preview) this is my first time trying to post on the message board...dont't know how really...but just to say when i give up my imagined control, i find rest	wildhorsehomimy	6	1359	Oct 6, 2016 by maryjane
	Courage to Change (C2C) 10/6/16 (Preview) Happy Thursday to one and all! Today's reading is about staying open in recovery. No matter how long we have been around, keeping our minds and hearts open for opportunities to learn will help us continue to grow in our spiritual program. Even if we've been around a long while, there is always someth...	Iamhere	8	525	Oct 6, 2016 by Jerry F
	Reading my old posts,funny (Preview) Just reading some of my old posts,thinking..did I really say that?lol,didnt sound like me,the me I thought I knew,lol.for a sec.thought someone else had posted it.no it was actually me,such growth,I saw in myself in my postings,I have come along way........thank you alanon!!.....lu	lookingup	5	495	Oct 6, 2016 by lookingup
	Is this part of my "disease"? (Preview) I wrote my first post earlier this week about my A ex husband and concerns regarding the safety of our children when they are with him. Since that time, I did some research and found that he had an extreme DUI back in Jan, served 8 days in jail and 22 days of in home detention and he never told me about it. He l...	dragonflyinn	9	823	Oct 6, 2016 by el-cee
	Four Days Gone (Preview) So Monday I told abf that if he wanted to live like a drug addict, he could go live with drug addicts. Hes been gone ever since. He came by my house yesterday while I was at work and took his motorcycle. I did not see where he took any clothes. I feel like a fool for missing him. I had some brand new locks in the ho...	kspec85	5	559	Oct 6, 2016 by sunmustshine
	Guilt (Preview) This is my first time doing something like this... at this point, I don't even know if it will be worth it. I have been dating my boyfriend for about a year now. I have been doing everything I can to show him love and support since I discovered he had a problem with alcohol. I spoke with his mother every sing...	aloraine22	5	517	Oct 6, 2016 by Iamhere
	Mind and Emotions in Frenzy (Preview) Hello Group, I have been purposely giving my recovering alcoholic some space. Tonight I gave in and engaged. We had a great meaningful conversation. So meaningful he opened up to me more than he has in a bit. He told me that he has been so busy going through the motions lately that he hasn't put much thoug...	fiercefemaleflyer	2	508	Oct 6, 2016 by Iamhere
	Step 3? (Preview) Hi everyone, I am going through my steps once again with my sponsor. I wanted to find out what your thoughts were about step 3. How did you feel working through it? What challenges were present in your life at that time? Was it a pivotal step to your recovery and why? I hope this topic helps others who...	andromeda	4	957	Oct 6, 2016 by Jerry F
	Gave the trouble he was looking for (Preview) AH wasn't home 2 days from his heartfelt "can't do this anymore" plea to sober up and get back into programs etc...and yes, come home. Started to wind himself up over something that became his last excuse for a bender. I ignored it. Then he goes and says we need to go over the bills because I've been wastin...	sunmustshine	18	765	Oct 5, 2016 by Jen61
	C2C 10-5-16 Think (Preview) Today's C2C addresses those times when we are down, feel lost, and everything we think of has a bad ending. Those times... A tool AlAnon recommends trying is "Think". Not in the "continue to think about the negatives" way, but in the C2C p. 64 way: 1) Stop reacting, obsessing, worrying about the future...	Enigmatic	6	519	Oct 5, 2016 by sunmustshine
	I love my laundry basket (Preview) I was sitting in bed after just waking up this morning and I saw my laundry basket. I have had this laundry basket for at least 17 years. It's just a simple wicker basket with handles. Nothing unusual at all. I had been shopping at one of my favorite thrift stores a few days ago and had seen a similar one and t...	e_i_m	21	732	Oct 5, 2016 by hotrod
	Feeling the presence of HP (Preview) Wow. I had such a strong presence of my HP walking with me today. I have been reading about folks using God boxes and I have a slightly different version.... in that I actually sit down and draw.... sending any specific worry or concern or need of guidance up to my HP (whom I call God). I am not an artist b...	El	3	499	Oct 5, 2016 by e_i_m
	Grateful for small things (Preview) Really love the posts on laundry baskets etc. I was feeling a loss of confidence this morning[lack of job] and it made me smile. I have 2 purple baskets that i ahem [borrowed] from the 99c store. I use them for laundry as they have good handles and fit two loads in them. I have to descend a small amount of ste...	YARNCRAZY	2	464	Oct 5, 2016 by Jerry F
	Can you hate and love someone at the same time? (Preview) I am feeling very conflicted. I hate my AH when he is drinking but I love him when he is not. He went 4 days without drinking and I was starting to think that it might stick this time. I am leaving for a work trip for a week. I am looking forward to it because it will give me a break but I also fear it too. I will be wo...	Ann_M_Y	21	1075	Oct 5, 2016 by Jerry F
	My AH went to rehab / self pity rant (Preview) My AH went to a rehab this morning. Why do I have a conflict going on inside? I'm happy he is getting the help he needs. I'm scared that he won't get the help he needs. I'm scared about money because he is the breadwinner and we are already way behind on our bills. I have some convoluted responsibility somew...	Ceelee	13	776	Oct 5, 2016 by Ceelee
	First day (Preview) Today was AH first day of iop. Intensive Outpatient. Now I know this is not just about me and I do have a tendency to be self righteous so please tell me if I am doing so. I went to work early so I could take him as he cannot drive. I mainly work from home, but 4 days a week I have meetings in various locati...	Fooled	7	505	Oct 5, 2016 by Fooled
	Disgusted! (Preview) I am so disgusted with myself, with my AH and with alcoholism. I am having a pity party and I need to vent so I can move on. My AH was clean and sober for 13 years. We have been together for almost 13 years and about a year ago he started drinking. This behavior was new to me. I never dealt with an alcoholic befor...	Dlove	13	780	Oct 5, 2016 by hiraeth
	Al-Anon at home tonight (Preview) Tonight is my weekly home meeting and I usually look forward to it and feel the need for it. However, I decided to concentrate on program materials at home instead. I did a ton of running around today; constantly in and out of the car and tending to others' needs.....namely my 90 year old mother. Hubb...	El	3	472	Oct 5, 2016 by Calm Lady
	Just want peace... (Preview) I am a very grateful member of this fellowship and think I have a pretty good handle on managing the day to day craziness from my exAH. Unfortunately, he is lashing out at me more viciously than ever this past week. I use my tools and can weather the harsh words without taking it personally. I turn him a...	Tossed Salad	3	535	Oct 5, 2016 by Calm Lady
	wrote a letter to my ex abf, and just sent to myself. healing. (Preview) I woke up today on a great fall day , feeling great, after nine months of a new relationship with a non drinker. An angel I might add. :) But for some reason, and maybe it is another step along my path to recovery and healing (?) I ended up on the computer writing a letter to my ex alcoholic bf. I sat down to do wo...	giraffe13	4	602	Oct 4, 2016 by giraffe13
	Something is up (Preview) I don't know what it is but something is up with my son. God grant me the serenity for the things I can not change the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference ((( hugs )))	Cathyinaz	33	4528	Oct 4, 2016 by LinSC
	God Gifts... (Preview) So I went down town to the bay and the hotel neighborhood because I thought (another brag) there would be a meeting of political interest I could attend and I couldn't find it and what I did find was so warm and loving. I turned a corner to go back to my van and there she was all beautiful and smiling and fu...	Jerry F	3	486	Oct 4, 2016 by hotrod
	letting go of others and keeping the focus on myself and getting more sleep! (Preview) Every day in this program I feel I am making progress. I have been utilizing the God Box and that really helps me to hand things over or let them go. I'm learning to focus more and more on myself and my actions. I realized that I was having difficulty with sleep and I wasn't really doing much to improve it...	KT2015	7	577	Oct 4, 2016 by KT2015
	Question for the A's in our group (Preview) I really want to ask my AH if he thinks I am an idiot when it comes to his sneaking drinks at night. I know when he is drinking but I am not supposed to confront him and if I did he would just lie anyway. So my question is this: do you know that we know when you are drinking even when we don't say anything? I don...	tired of it	9	662	Oct 4, 2016 by Jerry F
	Is this an Alanon motto? Is should be (Preview) This popped up in my fb feed this am. JUST what I needed to know that I have done enough for my qualifiers.	themoonandthestars	6	559	Oct 4, 2016 by Jerry F
	It's going to take more than just him being gone to heal (Preview) My ex-ABH moved out Friday. I was so relieved Friday night that I got a brilliant night's sleep. But then when I woke up the next morning, I saw the horrendous mess that my apartment had become. A lot of it was him. I remember earlier in the week my dishwasher got fixed and he said "so does this mean you will...	Thurrayya the Khajiit	2	573	Oct 4, 2016 by Iamhere
	Feeling Trapped ! Help ! (Preview) I am NEW to this site and the concept of al-anon but am no stranger to being dragged along by an alcoholic loved one . About two years ago while in the middle of extreme crisis - living in and out of homeless shelters and sleeping on and off everyone's couch and even in my car with my three children I came acro...	Gbracero123	15	747	Oct 4, 2016 by Gbracero123
	In ALL my affairs :-) (Preview) Oh so very grateful today for the time I have spent thus far honing my al-anon tools and yes, even for the miserable, alcohol soaked, codependent relationship that brought me here in the first place. Every minute of it, as it turns out. See, this almost 14 year old that I share a house with just becomes mo...	MissM	15	733	Oct 4, 2016 by MissM
	Hope for Today October 4 (Preview) Good morning everyone: Wow--this reading hits home with me today. The writer describes a kitchen she has lived with for over 20 years. She doesn't like the pattern of the wallpaper, but has been worried about taking it down because she isn't sure what will be underneath. Ultimately she does decid...	yanksfan51	5	612	Oct 4, 2016 by Iamhere
	al-alon meeting (Preview) went to my first al-aLon meeting,very glad I went was very nerve racking,but felt I fitted in,defo will go back.thanks to the people who suggested for me to go to an face to face meeting	Marcusjohn	5	2217	Oct 4, 2016 by milkwood
	Want To Be Free from this Demon! (Preview) Yesterday I found this site and have found some posts here that were really relatable offering a level of support while I was simultaneously being emotionally accosted by my ABF. Got cursed out all day on and off , had videos sent to me ranging from what would be considered "romantic " to hardcore rap...	Gbracero123	6	572	Oct 3, 2016 by Gbracero123
	Suggestions for protecting my children when ex is starting recovery? (Preview) Hi, I am new to the boards. This is my first post. I was with my ex for 18 years. We had been married for 11, and have been divorced for 2. We have three young children (range from 8-6). He drank a lot when we were married, but would not have classified him as an "alcholic" at the time (but I may have been bl...	dragonflyinn	5	492	Oct 3, 2016 by Jerry F
	Book Suggestion (Preview) I have read a few good books on co-dependancy. I know there is an AA book with steps in it. Was just wondering if there was an Al-Anon equivilant? thanks	fiercefemaleflyer	5	504	Oct 3, 2016 by fiercefemaleflyer
	Successful Relationships! (Preview) As I read more and more of your stories and think about the relationships I have with quite a few recovering alcohilics. It dawned on me. What have you all done to maintain successfull relationships with the recovering alcoholics in your lives? What kinf of success stories do you all have?	fiercefemaleflyer	12	748	Oct 3, 2016 by fiercefemaleflyer
	Just fed up and need to vent (Preview) So today I called abf on my lunch. Sobriety was ok until last week when he drank a couple times. I totally maintained my serenity and was proud of how I handled myself. Anyways I called him on lunch and a funky intuition went off within me. He said he had stopped at a drugstore to use the bathroom and now he wa...	kspec85	2	452	Oct 3, 2016 by Iamhere
	Halp (Preview) Been with my ABF for 3+ years. He drank daily the first 2 years but after several "incidences" and a couple brief break ups, he's realized his drinking is a problem and has drastically cut down in the last year. He'd quit drinking entirely for 2.5-3 months, after another irresponsible incident, then s...	burr1017	2	494	Oct 3, 2016 by Iamhere
	my husband (Preview) My husband got into a one car (him) accident because of drinking and drugs. Lawyer finally got him into a rehab for 28 days and now I've got to handle everything	Fifi16	2	461	Oct 3, 2016 by Iamhere
	Step 3 has been posted to the Step Board (Preview) Step Work BoardWhere we discuss each of the Twelve StepsIn the order they are written, one step at a time, every two weeks.Learn How The Twelve Steps Work.Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by being active on this board as we go through the 12 Steps of recovery Please...	hotrod	8	489	Oct 3, 2016 by hotrod
	New to this and feeling clueless. (Preview) Hello All, I am new to all of this. My husband is currently 24 days into inpatient rehab because of pain pill addiction and has another 10 days to go. He broke down and came clean about being addicted about 4 weeks ago. I'm not proud of my initial reaction but it would take explaining the last 20 years for so...	ilocapp	2	537	Oct 3, 2016 by Iamhere
	Sadness (Preview) I'm experiencing deep sadness over past few days. Met up with a few childhood friends recently. They have achieved so much - career, marriage, kids, house etc. I realised I have achieved nothing I had longed for growing up. Owning my own home, even a small flat or apartment was something I always drea...	Emma123	12	787	Oct 3, 2016 by Iamhere
	C2C 10-3-16 Compassion (Preview) The author of today's page admits not knowing the definition of compassion, but was pretty sure it did not include angry yelling, throwing things, name calling, or plotting revenge over perceived offenses. Yet this was the behavior they found themselves engaging in towards a loved one with the dis...	Enigmatic	3	490	Oct 3, 2016 by Iamhere
	AL-ANON MEETING, MONDAY 9:00 AM, EASTERN STANDARD TIME (Preview) Al-Anon meeting in the chat room in approximately 30 minutes. Come on in and join us! Link: www.12stepforums.net/chatroom2.html A-Anon Meetings Schedule: Monday-Friday 9 a.m. and 9 p.m. Eastern Standard Time; Sunday 10 a.m. and 7 p.m. Eastern Standard Time...UK +5 hours, Central -1 hour, Mou...	shimo	2	1937	Oct 3, 2016 by geems
	Courage to Change Reading 10-2 (Preview) C2C reading for October 2 speaks about serving in the various service positions at an Al-Anon group meeting. The reading suggests that when we volunteer and assume one of these responsibilities to the group, it often brings us in frequent contact with newcomers. This contact is extreme...	hotrod	5	557	Oct 2, 2016 by Cathyinaz
	Confused (Preview) My ExAH and I have not lived together in almost 4 years. We have been officially divorced for 1.5 years. I have been in Alanon for almost 5 years. Early on in the split I met a man. He seemed a perfect mate in so many ways. I felt that he met my needs, respected my boundaries and accepted my baggage. As th...	Tossed Salad	11	719	Oct 2, 2016 by Iamhere
	off topic, champix. (Preview) I read about champix here and I'm on day 5. Ready for a physical makeover of health and this 21 year smoking habit needs to go. I tried quitting three times in my life including now. I'm currently down to 4 smokes a day, my last two attempts lasted exactly 24 hours. But I learned a lot about my relationship w...	a4l	18	660	Oct 2, 2016 by Iamhere
	Another death threat...hmmmm (Preview) I got a text msg from a client who's property I manage which asked me to check on his renter as there was a report of some "issues". Well not really and after I went over to check on them I learned that the neighbor across the road was acting insane (drugs and alcohol?) and was shouting at them Friday nigh...	Jerry F	6	570	Oct 2, 2016 by Iamhere
	Dealing with Passive Aggressive People (Preview) Pre alanon when somebody did me a dirty behind the scenes, I would bite on that bait and have a full on battle...behind the scenes. Today when somebody tried to be passive aggressive behind the scenes...in secret...I left them there dangling. Did not respond nor acknowledge their existence in my da...	geems	13	801	Oct 2, 2016 by hotrod
	Self love -- ESH needed! (Preview) It's been about a month since I broke up with my abh. My sense of self/identity/worth was really wrapped up in his attention/approval. As part of my healing/recovery, I know I need to keep working my program and strengthen/understand aspects of myself before I even consider dating anyone again and t...	e_i_m	19	889	Oct 2, 2016 by e_i_m
	Courage to Change 1/10 (Preview) Todays's c2c speaks of those moments when we become aware of how fast and chaotic our thinking has become, filled with memories and resentments and guilt, and projections about the future. When we recognise this chaotic thinking and take the time to reach out and talk about it, it tends to all fall bac...	MissM	5	564	Oct 2, 2016 by Calm Lady
	In recovery (Preview) hello again,hope all is well.i seem to find qualifiers ,is this normal ? Even though I'm living alone .i found a young 32 yo man that has asked to borrow my lawnmower and keep my yard mowed in return of using my mower,I'm easy to make freinds ,we have become freinds ,him and his mom.theyve agreed to pay me t...	lookingup	11	728	Oct 2, 2016 by lookingup
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.