Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

lookingup · lookingup

Hello all my alanon family here. aa versus alanon as in what to expect going to aa meetings? Instead of alanon meeting,only have aa meetings here in my small. Town,reason I'm asking since I'm alanon all the way,never drank or take narcotics.i know aa focuses on helping the alcoholic ,where alanon tea...

Worried Wife · Worried Wife

Hi all, I am I the process of starting a new job and when I start, I have decided to stay at a motel for one-two weeks. I am getting off this roller coaster ride, and the ridiculous arguments over nothing. My AH is trying to stop drinking by himself, and he and I both know that'll never work anymore. To this da...

gabigail · gabigail

Hi everyone- As some of you know my AS was diagnosed with cirrhosis and it's been an ongoing battle. My spouse is completely dependent on me. I've had help from others, from dog sitting to meals, etc. My AS needs help with the bathroom, mobility, and attention, as well as financial help. It's draining...

MissM · MissM

Today's c2c speaks about the tendency we have to take offense to others hurtful/tactless remarks whilst convincing ourselves that our own hurtful behaviour is "justified", for example interfering or pointing out the failings of an alcoholic loved one over and over with imaginary impunity becau...

moonriver · moonriver

Recently, I have begun speaking my truth. In my home group meeting this week a member announced she was going to piggyback on another's share. I said, "Hi, I'm moonriver, and I believe piggy backing is a form of cross talk." The person began to pack her things to leave. I added "Correct me if I'm wrong....

Lys · Lys

My boyfriend graduation from a 30 day recovery program on Saturday morning. He was supposed to go into a Sober Living house on Monday. I picked him up Sat and took him out to breakfast. He ordered a beer. I laughed and asked if he was joking. He said "I'll be right back". He left me at the restaurant and walk...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

Hi Everyone Well it's finally done. I have officially sold the home and I will living in Anthem, AZ in about one month. I'm happy but also scared...I know in my heart it is the right thing to do. I have to thank my son for the encouragement and support getting me there. Even with everything going on with h...

Fooled · Fooled

My Rah is coming up on 30 days. He is going to IOP 3 nights per week. Is supposed to be doing on line meetings since he is not really able to walk. I don't think this is happening. However, Im sticking to my own side of the street. Everyday until today he has been angry about something. How is he being mi...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's daily reading is all about the golden rule - treat others as you would like to be treated. The reading discusses how simple it is for us to slip back into old attitudes towards others. It talks about how our impatience with others can lead to impatience with ourselves as well as the world. Als...

Lucy125 · Lucy125

I didn't know my brother was drinking. He lives in another town and he hid it from the extended family. He would call me and I would make small talk. I knew he had problems, I just thought he was severely depressed. I didn't know about the alcohol. Sometimes I would get angry and ask him to come up and see h...

Crau · Crau

I hate when my brain spirals out of control. Tonight I'm spinning about the past, how far I thought I had come and realizing that I'm kind of stuck where I was two years ago, just with a lot less anger and anxiety. I still want control over the uncontrollable. I want to feel acceptance without having to be p...

lilbirbby · lilbirbby

Hi! I'm new to this forum and al-anon. My boyfriend is struggling with an addiction to cocaine, alcohol, and painkillers that he has hidden from me for almost a year (I found out in September). Right now he's in an inpatient rehab program, and I'm stuck with the internal conflict about whether I am good...

YARNCRAZY · YARNCRAZY

this job hunting is really getting old. I feel blue tonite. Overeating,looking for new projects. Trying with all my might not to make my new guy my project and get into bad old behavior. My ex escaped death by booze by hours again. his sister took him to the ER last week. So sad,what a waste he made of his li...

themoonandthestars · themoonandthestars

I can't get to a meeting today due to my work schedule, but man do I need one. I found out that one of my children committed a crime against someone in our community that I admire and respect. He used my car to commit the crime with his friends. I'm feeling devastated. The victim is willing to forgive him if h...

kittenpea · kittenpea

I'm a 43 year old female and all my life my father has drunk..I never ever knew my extended family growing up (who are very close knit) due to my fathers drinking habits he decided to cut everyone of his siblings and his parents out of his life never seeing that he was punishing me for his own failings. My m...

Lucy125 · Lucy125

I can't take it anymore. I worked so hard to get away from these people. Then in one week Brother's kids call me to fix all this. I cut off the nephews and niece. One nephew is in with a bad crowd, the other keeps losing jobs and wrecking cars. The niece was stealing from my brother while he was drunk. Ni...

sarahGee · sarahGee

After a lot of reflection, I have decided I want to approach my own drinking as well. Coming from a family of alcoholics, drinking is so normalized in every situation. Every event, every emotion - theres a drink or a drug for that. When I came here I was focused on healing the hurts in my heart from my fami...

themoonandthestars · themoonandthestars

New here, but not new to alcoholism. ;) I am an ACOA, as is my husband. Weve been attending ala non recently (been to 5-6 meetings) Not sure how we got away without having issues with alcohlic drinking (maybe it skips a generation? I'm aware that we have psychological scars from our parents) , but now our...

Hopingforamiracle · Hopingforamiracle

To make a long story short, my mother has been an alcoholic 28 years of my 30 years of life. My father raised me and raised me the best he could as a single dad. My mother exposed me to her alcoholism at an early age and throughout my life it has been a roller coaster of good times and very bad times. I have save...

Junenine · Junenine

hello, out there. so i made my first program call about a week ago or so and the woman just called me back today. and it was GOOD. really good. i am so grateful. she was so sensible, smart, and helpful. i started meetings at the end of 2014 but feel like this time is a new beginning with a new level of seri...

Mrsoconnor · Mrsoconnor

[Moderator pasted in from Megan's Bio] Hi, My name is Megan. I am 26 years old and I need your help. Years ago after my oldest son passed away I became addicted to methamphetamine, cocaine and alcohol. I've been sober from methamphetamine and cocaine for 6 years. I met my fiance 2 years ago. He had gotte...

sunmustshine · sunmustshine

My AH came back...again...wanting to get sober and be part of our family. He really did things right this time. He's working his program and trying new things. I try not to be hopeful but it happens on a subconscious level though I try to just be. Monday night he just doesn't come home. The issue was he had...

ItsAllAboutMeMC · ItsAllAboutMeMC

My ex ABF and I broke up almost 2 weeks ago. It ended badly with a big fight about a week later he text me about some money a friend gave me to give to him and I said I had sent it with another friend to give to him. I then text him back that I felt sick about how we ended things and that I wanted to talk but only when he...

Lostandsad · Lostandsad

I'm sure my story is not new. While I'm familiar with the 12-steps, I am at a complete loss re how to apply them to my current situation and how to deal with what is happening in my life. My husband is an alcoholic. He quit drinking 'for me' (he says -- because he doesn't believe he has a problem) a couple of...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's quote - "I can learn to avail myself of the immense, inexhaustible power of God, if I am willing to be continually conscious of God's nearness." --- from One Day at a Time in Al-Anon Today's Reminder - "I may not have everything I want, but today I have everything I need. I will look for evidenc...

el-cee · el-cee

Im sorry to those of you who have felt I have been harsh with my words. I do seem to get like this from time to time. I become narrow minded in my recovery and expect others to get what Im talking about or to be able to hear my point of view. Due to my own sickness I also become triggered by certain issues, (the Mo...

Aerin · Aerin

He has been going to AA every evening. He has been super proud and maybe thinking easier than he thought.. he was so inspired by others stories, and even started talking to others. Tomorrow would have been his 30 days..his green chip. And today I come home and he had been drinking. AND he went to a meeting...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

Today's reading notes that some experience the greatest difficulty when working Step 1: "admitted we were powerless". For others, Step 2 is more difficult as we admit that our own behavior may not always be sane. An example is given of behavior that is irrational and self-defeating: taking issue wi...

Dar · Dar

Glad I found this site. Thanks for sharing. I have been married 37 years and recently filed for divorce. I have it somewhat on hold, holding out for hope. Hubby has been in treatment 3 times in the last year, and each time he gets outs, he wastes no time buying a bottle of booze. Anyway, last night he got a D...

simplelife · simplelife

New here. Feel like i was hit by a train by my alcolohlic ex. Been reading through alot about alcoholism, have learned more than i ever cared to know in the past. One question though. I read alot of posting stating that alcoloism is cunning and baffling? Why is that?

interstellarvagabond · interstellarvagabond

So my mom is now sober for three years, my uncle is on and off sober, my grandfather is sober, most of the addicts in my life have recovered but I haven't. I still HATE alcohol. When I was a little kid I didn't even wanna touch the bottles my mom asked me to bring her. It's been years since I've seen anything se...

Crau · Crau

Finding the inner strength to identify if what I'm feeling in my gut is instinctual or over thinking that now has turned into unnecessary worry. Why do we overthink? Assume the worst vs hope for the best? Is it engrained in us based on our history with the alcoholics in our life OR is it something we are...

Wilady8 · Wilady8

I am engaged to a 10 year recovered alcoholic. We have been together for a year and a half. I also have a 4 year old daughter from a previous relationship. We moved things rather quickly and he moved in and we got engaged all in a matter of 4 months. Something I now regret since I didn't understand his diseas...

Nancydrew · Nancydrew

Hi all, I am new to this. I guess I'm stupid, but I didn't realize my AH was an alcoholic until just recently. I knew he was having a drink or two after work but apparently he was hiding just how much vodka he was drinking. We are nurses and both work the night shift, but opposite rotations. I'm at work, he's...

sarahGee · sarahGee

I am not one of those people that believes in the great beyond. I can usually explain away just about anything with science or fact. Typical Al Anon, I know everything :) Anyway.Defining HP for me was difficult, but I was able to come to an understanding that I was comfortable with. In recent weeks since...

Lucy125 · Lucy125

My brother called an ambulance for himself about 10 days ago. He was in hospital and then they sent him to convalescence home. He's awaiting a room in a better place. He has been told that his liver is shot and it's very very serious. Brother has a Power of Attorney who is a friend of his. POA told me he...

Mercury · Mercury

I have been with my husband for 10 years. We have lived together 5 years and have been married for less than 2. I have been living in a deep hole of denial for a very long time - to the point where I isolated myself, pushed others away and was unable to feel anything at all - just empty. Very heavy drinker, v...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for October 25 speaks about a defect of character that of" making choices passively and not making decisions. " One of the ways we can make amends for this defect is to stop practicing the defect. In every area of our lives we can ask ourselves am I taking responsibility for my self tod...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Hi Everybody- i am finally moving into a new (smaller) house with my kids tomorrow. I have some last minute cleaning to do at the house I am selling, then two closings-- so I will plan on writing again next week... Nov 1st! Hope you all have a great week :) Mary

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

I can't remember if I posted this or not .. I did not put this on my recent update because it's so much more than that .. My beautiful sponsor lost her battle with cancer at the end of September and I have been dealing with a tremendous amount of grief. I am SO glad I got to see her this summer. It meant the wor...

Annie Oakly · Annie Oakly

I found out last week my husband of 35 years has fallen off the wagon. 28 years sober, gone. I suspected for several months. I tried to talk to him and he shuts me out. We have been in marriage counseling for the last 5 or 6 months too! My father was a alcoholic, it killed him. My problem is how to leave....

New member intro · missy_A

Hi everyone, I'm 34, married and with two kids aged 3 and 7, and I come from Eastern Europe. I am a total mess and I was so happy to find this site! I am a codependent. My husband is an alcoholic. There are some local Al-Anon meetings here but they take place at somewhere 6-7 pm local time (which does not suit m...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

Today's reading likens recovery in AlAnon to a Birch tree, rather than an an onion, because it sheds its bark on its own after a period of growth: the bark serves a valuable purpose but then fall away as the tree grows and new protective bark takes its place.If a protective layer of bark is removed too ear...

Junenine · Junenine

hi, everyone. new here. been attending meetings on and off for over a year. recently re-committed because my life has been in turmoil over the past few weeks. (months? years?) i think i'm hitting my own bottom, where i need to seriously get in touch with what I (me, me, me) need and want. my fiancé is an...

lisad67 · lisad67

I've been with my bf for 6 years and we have a family together. He has been an alcoholic since he was 14, 21 years. When we first met we had fun. Going out for dinner and drinks, etc. I never paid attention to his drinking at that time because it wasn't causing trouble for our relationship. There have b...

themoonandthestars · themoonandthestars

I don't know where to start. Just before bed dh and I commented on what a nice , "normal" day we had. Twins hadn't been severely intoxicated in our presence in 2-3 weeks. We were *just* starting to let our guard down a teeny tiny bit. We went to bed at 11pm. At 1am I was awoken by the dog barking. The twins were...

SaraLin · SaraLin

Hi guys, I'm new on here. I've been dating my alcoholic boyfriend for 5 months. There were some red flags but I had no idea how bad things were until recently. I noticed that my port barrel was near empty and realised he's been stealing my alcohol. I've asked him many times to stop but have still notic...

Calm Lady · Calm Lady

Good morning, all lovely Al-anon friends. By the grace of our program, in the last few days I have become aware of more of my layer of denial falling away. A sense of seeing the world from a more realistic stand point. I feel a little nervous about it but very pleased. Dealing with people, places and thing...

Lucy125 · Lucy125

I had to distance myself from my brother and his toxic family. He's now got cirrhosis, his friend(POA) is overseeing his care. The kids(nephews and nieces) kept calling so I gave them resources and cut them off. They don't want help, they just want money and me to fix everything. They are lying to m...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for October 23 speaks about the fact that once sobriety is attained in the home. it points out that we believe that the nightmares will be over. However, we discover that alcohol had a tranquilizing effect and now without this the alcoholic is quite difficult to live with.and...

Doingmybest · Doingmybest

Hello All, Recent I have been really struggling with a myriad of things and I am seeking....something...I'm not certain I even know what. Perhaps support or perhaps peace...I'm not really sure. My RAH is over 18 months sober and doing wonderfull in his program. I try to follow the AlAnon principle...

Fooled · Fooled

My mother is very adamant about her feelings regarding alcoholics. She hates them. Her father, her two brothers, and my father were all alcoholics. Her one brother has achieved sobriety of over 20 years. My father and her other brother died from the disease. Her father, my grandfather, wa...

Fancypants · Fancypants

I've been lurking here for awhile. Started attending face to face meetings in August but started reading CAL last year. I want recovery so bad but it's so hard and so slow going sometimes. Just when I'm doing good something will happen and I feel like I take 2 steps backwards. Background: AH was 5 year...

lookingup · lookingup

Reacting to all my sit. Has always been my behavior ways ,never worked like pouring fuel to the sit. Today I'm trying to learn a whole new way of behaving with using responding instead of reacting ,a new tool I'm just finding that I really need help with along with examples of how do I stop reacting( never...

Prissykitty · Prissykitty

I was doing so well last week. I was focusing on me and my happiness. I let my recovering alcoholic have his moods and I didn't judge or get caught up with them. BUT I snapped on Saturday. Our theee year old was being three, and I'm pregnant and I'm just TIRED of being alone and having no joy in our house! I w...

sarahGee · sarahGee

I am proud of myself, but I have realized that I have a loooooong way to go. I haven't had a long conversation with my mom (one of the qualifiers in my life) in about two weeks. This might not seem like long, but we were so intertwined that most days we would only go an hour or two without speaking or being toge...

SDB · SDB

I had to travel for 5 days for work across the country. The night before I left I came home to my husband passed out drunk. I went to Seattle and whenever I called to see how things were going he was drunk. He missed a job interview and then proceeded to lie about going. When I returned home, he was drunk aga...

lookingup · lookingup

hi everybody,my best family on earth today,today I am needing prayers for myself ( I'm ok) just that I'm sorta in a bad predicament that I can only work hard and I mean hard at staying ,keeping detached from,and much needed prayers for my Freind please,he is in a very bad situation.much needed prayers f...

Lucy125 · Lucy125

I am the black sheep of my family. Growing up I could do no right. I was beaten down and suicidal. I went to a psychologist and recovered. I am married and have two teen kids. I take care of my 90 year old mom. I don't take any drugs, I got off all psychiatric drugs about 5 years ago. I had to distance mysel...

el-cee · el-cee

Just thinking out loud. When i think of love before alanon and since alanon i can see a huge difference. I thought love was someone needing you, an alcoholic ticks that box. I thought it was becoming one with another, lifes so enmeshed i lost my individuality, i thought it meant making them happy at any...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	AA versus Alanon (Preview) Hello all my alanon family here. aa versus alanon as in what to expect going to aa meetings? Instead of alanon meeting,only have aa meetings here in my small. Town,reason I'm asking since I'm alanon all the way,never drank or take narcotics.i know aa focuses on helping the alcoholic ,where alanon tea...	lookingup	7	746	Oct 29, 2016 by Jerry F
	Motel 6, here I come (Preview) Hi all, I am I the process of starting a new job and when I start, I have decided to stay at a motel for one-two weeks. I am getting off this roller coaster ride, and the ridiculous arguments over nothing. My AH is trying to stop drinking by himself, and he and I both know that'll never work anymore. To this da...	Worried Wife	10	646	Oct 29, 2016 by Jerry F
	Dealing with 24 hr. Care of sick AS- losing serenity (Preview) Hi everyone- As some of you know my AS was diagnosed with cirrhosis and it's been an ongoing battle. My spouse is completely dependent on me. I've had help from others, from dog sitting to meals, etc. My AS needs help with the bathroom, mobility, and attention, as well as financial help. It's draining...	gabigail	9	572	Oct 29, 2016 by Lucy125
	Courage To Change 29/10 (Preview) Today's c2c speaks about the tendency we have to take offense to others hurtful/tactless remarks whilst convincing ourselves that our own hurtful behaviour is "justified", for example interfering or pointing out the failings of an alcoholic loved one over and over with imaginary impunity becau...	MissM	6	525	Oct 29, 2016 by Kaylapenni
	How to know if a particular meeting is right or wrong for you (Preview) Recently, I have begun speaking my truth. In my home group meeting this week a member announced she was going to piggyback on another's share. I said, "Hi, I'm moonriver, and I believe piggy backing is a form of cross talk." The person began to pack her things to leave. I added "Correct me if I'm wrong....	moonriver	7	634	Oct 29, 2016 by 2HP
	When is enough, enough? (Preview) My boyfriend graduation from a 30 day recovery program on Saturday morning. He was supposed to go into a Sober Living house on Monday. I picked him up Sat and took him out to breakfast. He ordered a beer. I laughed and asked if he was joking. He said "I'll be right back". He left me at the restaurant and walk...	Lys	20	1019	Oct 29, 2016 by Iamhere
	It's finally over (Preview) Hi Everyone Well it's finally done. I have officially sold the home and I will living in Anthem, AZ in about one month. I'm happy but also scared...I know in my heart it is the right thing to do. I have to thank my son for the encouragement and support getting me there. Even with everything going on with h...	Cathyinaz	20	831	Oct 29, 2016 by a4l
	Anger? Manipulation? Dry Drunk? (Preview) My Rah is coming up on 30 days. He is going to IOP 3 nights per week. Is supposed to be doing on line meetings since he is not really able to walk. I don't think this is happening. However, Im sticking to my own side of the street. Everyday until today he has been angry about something. How is he being mi...	Fooled	16	3205	Oct 28, 2016 by Fooled
	Courage to Change (C2C) 10/28/16 (Preview) Today's daily reading is all about the golden rule - treat others as you would like to be treated. The reading discusses how simple it is for us to slip back into old attitudes towards others. It talks about how our impatience with others can lead to impatience with ourselves as well as the world. Als...	Iamhere	6	582	Oct 28, 2016 by Iamhere
	trying really hard not to provoke (Preview) I didn't know my brother was drinking. He lives in another town and he hid it from the extended family. He would call me and I would make small talk. I knew he had problems, I just thought he was severely depressed. I didn't know about the alcohol. Sometimes I would get angry and ask him to come up and see h...	Lucy125	6	536	Oct 28, 2016 by Iamhere
	Spinning and spiraling (Preview) I hate when my brain spirals out of control. Tonight I'm spinning about the past, how far I thought I had come and realizing that I'm kind of stuck where I was two years ago, just with a lot less anger and anxiety. I still want control over the uncontrollable. I want to feel acceptance without having to be p...	Crau	4	472	Oct 28, 2016 by Iamhere
	Help me out! cocaine alcohol painkillers recovery (Preview) Hi! I'm new to this forum and al-anon. My boyfriend is struggling with an addiction to cocaine, alcohol, and painkillers that he has hidden from me for almost a year (I found out in September). Right now he's in an inpatient rehab program, and I'm stuck with the internal conflict about whether I am good...	lilbirbby	4	4411	Oct 28, 2016 by Iamhere
	off topic (Preview) this job hunting is really getting old. I feel blue tonite. Overeating,looking for new projects. Trying with all my might not to make my new guy my project and get into bad old behavior. My ex escaped death by booze by hours again. his sister took him to the ER last week. So sad,what a waste he made of his li...	YARNCRAZY	3	410	Oct 28, 2016 by Iamhere
	Weepy today (Preview) I can't get to a meeting today due to my work schedule, but man do I need one. I found out that one of my children committed a crime against someone in our community that I admire and respect. He used my car to commit the crime with his friends. I'm feeling devastated. The victim is willing to forgive him if h...	themoonandthestars	13	594	Oct 28, 2016 by el-cee
	Alcoholic Father Dying (Preview) I'm a 43 year old female and all my life my father has drunk..I never ever knew my extended family growing up (who are very close knit) due to my fathers drinking habits he decided to cut everyone of his siblings and his parents out of his life never seeing that he was punishing me for his own failings. My m...	kittenpea	7	2182	Oct 28, 2016 by PatG1025
	Brother's Power of Attorney says he's terminal with cirrhosis (Preview) I can't take it anymore. I worked so hard to get away from these people. Then in one week Brother's kids call me to fix all this. I cut off the nephews and niece. One nephew is in with a bad crowd, the other keeps losing jobs and wrecking cars. The niece was stealing from my brother while he was drunk. Ni...	Lucy125	5	520	Oct 27, 2016 by PatG1025
	Double winners (Preview) After a lot of reflection, I have decided I want to approach my own drinking as well. Coming from a family of alcoholics, drinking is so normalized in every situation. Every event, every emotion - theres a drink or a drug for that. When I came here I was focused on healing the hurts in my heart from my fami...	sarahGee	8	1261	Oct 27, 2016 by PatG1025
	Identical twin addicts. (Preview) New here, but not new to alcoholism. ;) I am an ACOA, as is my husband. Weve been attending ala non recently (been to 5-6 meetings) Not sure how we got away without having issues with alcohlic drinking (maybe it skips a generation? I'm aware that we have psychological scars from our parents) , but now our...	themoonandthestars	16	977	Oct 27, 2016 by PatG1025
	Prayers needed (Preview) To make a long story short, my mother has been an alcoholic 28 years of my 30 years of life. My father raised me and raised me the best he could as a single dad. My mother exposed me to her alcoholism at an early age and throughout my life it has been a roller coaster of good times and very bad times. I have save...	Hopingforamiracle	4	564	Oct 27, 2016 by Jerry F
	my first program call (Preview) hello, out there. so i made my first program call about a week ago or so and the woman just called me back today. and it was GOOD. really good. i am so grateful. she was so sensible, smart, and helpful. i started meetings at the end of 2014 but feel like this time is a new beginning with a new level of seri...	Junenine	5	519	Oct 27, 2016 by Iamhere
	Please help me (Preview) [Moderator pasted in from Megan's Bio] Hi, My name is Megan. I am 26 years old and I need your help. Years ago after my oldest son passed away I became addicted to methamphetamine, cocaine and alcohol. I've been sober from methamphetamine and cocaine for 6 years. I met my fiance 2 years ago. He had gotte...	Mrsoconnor	6	535	Oct 27, 2016 by Iamhere
	This was new (Preview) My AH came back...again...wanting to get sober and be part of our family. He really did things right this time. He's working his program and trying new things. I try not to be hopeful but it happens on a subconscious level though I try to just be. Monday night he just doesn't come home. The issue was he had...	sunmustshine	11	588	Oct 27, 2016 by sarahGee
	I wish it did not hurt so much (Preview) My ex ABF and I broke up almost 2 weeks ago. It ended badly with a big fight about a week later he text me about some money a friend gave me to give to him and I said I had sent it with another friend to give to him. I then text him back that I felt sick about how we ended things and that I wanted to talk but only when he...	ItsAllAboutMeMC	8	602	Oct 27, 2016 by ItsAllAboutMeMC
	Seeking guidance and support (Preview) I'm sure my story is not new. While I'm familiar with the 12-steps, I am at a complete loss re how to apply them to my current situation and how to deal with what is happening in my life. My husband is an alcoholic. He quit drinking 'for me' (he says -- because he doesn't believe he has a problem) a couple of...	Lostandsad	3	655	Oct 27, 2016 by hotrod
	Courage to Change (C2C) 10/27/16 (Preview) Today's quote - "I can learn to avail myself of the immense, inexhaustible power of God, if I am willing to be continually conscious of God's nearness." --- from One Day at a Time in Al-Anon Today's Reminder - "I may not have everything I want, but today I have everything I need. I will look for evidenc...	Iamhere	2	427	Oct 27, 2016 by Iamhere
	Amends (Preview) Im sorry to those of you who have felt I have been harsh with my words. I do seem to get like this from time to time. I become narrow minded in my recovery and expect others to get what Im talking about or to be able to hear my point of view. Due to my own sickness I also become triggered by certain issues, (the Mo...	el-cee	10	700	Oct 26, 2016 by serenity47
	He was a day away from 30 days sober.. (Preview) He has been going to AA every evening. He has been super proud and maybe thinking easier than he thought.. he was so inspired by others stories, and even started talking to others. Tomorrow would have been his 30 days..his green chip. And today I come home and he had been drinking. AND he went to a meeting...	Aerin	6	577	Oct 26, 2016 by maryjane
	10-26-16 One Day at a Time in AlAnon (Preview) Today's reading notes that some experience the greatest difficulty when working Step 1: "admitted we were powerless". For others, Step 2 is more difficult as we admit that our own behavior may not always be sane. An example is given of behavior that is irrational and self-defeating: taking issue wi...	Enigmatic	7	504	Oct 26, 2016 by Jerry F
	Almost divorced...one final thing I need help with (Preview) Glad I found this site. Thanks for sharing. I have been married 37 years and recently filed for divorce. I have it somewhat on hold, holding out for hope. Hubby has been in treatment 3 times in the last year, and each time he gets outs, he wastes no time buying a bottle of booze. Anyway, last night he got a D...	Dar	7	569	Oct 26, 2016 by Cathyinaz
	cunning and baffling? (Preview) New here. Feel like i was hit by a train by my alcolohlic ex. Been reading through alot about alcoholism, have learned more than i ever cared to know in the past. One question though. I read alot of posting stating that alcoloism is cunning and baffling? Why is that?	simplelife	24	857	Oct 26, 2016 by Freetime
	hate/scared of alcohol alcohol scared of alcohol afraid of alcohol (Preview) So my mom is now sober for three years, my uncle is on and off sober, my grandfather is sober, most of the addicts in my life have recovered but I haven't. I still HATE alcohol. When I was a little kid I didn't even wanna touch the bottles my mom asked me to bring her. It's been years since I've seen anything se...	interstellarvagabond	6	7238	Oct 26, 2016 by Aerin
	Gut feelings, overthinking and all the other things on my brain (Preview) Finding the inner strength to identify if what I'm feeling in my gut is instinctual or over thinking that now has turned into unnecessary worry. Why do we overthink? Assume the worst vs hope for the best? Is it engrained in us based on our history with the alcoholics in our life OR is it something we are...	Crau	3	584	Oct 26, 2016 by Iamhere
	Feeling hopeless (Preview) I am engaged to a 10 year recovered alcoholic. We have been together for a year and a half. I also have a 4 year old daughter from a previous relationship. We moved things rather quickly and he moved in and we got engaged all in a matter of 4 months. Something I now regret since I didn't understand his diseas...	Wilady8	12	589	Oct 25, 2016 by Aerin
	Reaching out.... (Preview) Hi all, I am new to this. I guess I'm stupid, but I didn't realize my AH was an alcoholic until just recently. I knew he was having a drink or two after work but apparently he was hiding just how much vodka he was drinking. We are nurses and both work the night shift, but opposite rotations. I'm at work, he's...	Nancydrew	6	633	Oct 25, 2016 by Fooled
	The strangest things have been happening (Preview) I am not one of those people that believes in the great beyond. I can usually explain away just about anything with science or fact. Typical Al Anon, I know everything :) Anyway.Defining HP for me was difficult, but I was able to come to an understanding that I was comfortable with. In recent weeks since...	sarahGee	7	539	Oct 25, 2016 by hotrod
	Alcoholic won't talk to me or answer his phone (Preview) My brother called an ambulance for himself about 10 days ago. He was in hospital and then they sent him to convalescence home. He's awaiting a room in a better place. He has been told that his liver is shot and it's very very serious. Brother has a Power of Attorney who is a friend of his. POA told me he...	Lucy125	7	807	Oct 25, 2016 by Lucy125
	I need to leave my husband (Preview) I have been with my husband for 10 years. We have lived together 5 years and have been married for less than 2. I have been living in a deep hole of denial for a very long time - to the point where I isolated myself, pushed others away and was unable to feel anything at all - just empty. Very heavy drinker, v...	Mercury	7	2577	Oct 25, 2016 by Mercury
	C2C reading 10-25 (Preview) The C2C reading for October 25 speaks about a defect of character that of" making choices passively and not making decisions. " One of the ways we can make amends for this defect is to stop practicing the defect. In every area of our lives we can ask ourselves am I taking responsibility for my self tod...	hotrod	2	412	Oct 25, 2016 by e_i_m
	Hope for Today Oct 25 (Preview) Hi Everybody- i am finally moving into a new (smaller) house with my kids tomorrow. I have some last minute cleaning to do at the house I am selling, then two closings-- so I will plan on writing again next week... Nov 1st! Hope you all have a great week :) Mary	yanksfan51	3	436	Oct 25, 2016 by Iamhere
	Overwhelmig Grief .. (Preview) I can't remember if I posted this or not .. I did not put this on my recent update because it's so much more than that .. My beautiful sponsor lost her battle with cancer at the end of September and I have been dealing with a tremendous amount of grief. I am SO glad I got to see her this summer. It meant the wor...	SerenityRUS	5	671	Oct 25, 2016 by Green Eyes
	recent event (Preview) I found out last week my husband of 35 years has fallen off the wagon. 28 years sober, gone. I suspected for several months. I tried to talk to him and he shuts me out. We have been in marriage counseling for the last 5 or 6 months too! My father was a alcoholic, it killed him. My problem is how to leave....	Annie Oakly	8	543	Oct 25, 2016 by Jerry F
	New member intro (Preview) Hi everyone, I'm 34, married and with two kids aged 3 and 7, and I come from Eastern Europe. I am a total mess and I was so happy to find this site! I am a codependent. My husband is an alcoholic. There are some local Al-Anon meetings here but they take place at somewhere 6-7 pm local time (which does not suit m...	missy_A	13	813	Oct 25, 2016 by sarahGee
	Courage to Change (C2C) 10/24/16 Recovery Like a Birch Tree (Preview) Today's reading likens recovery in AlAnon to a Birch tree, rather than an an onion, because it sheds its bark on its own after a period of growth: the bark serves a valuable purpose but then fall away as the tree grows and new protective bark takes its place.If a protective layer of bark is removed too ear...	Enigmatic	5	674	Oct 25, 2016 by serenity47
	newbie with ongoing crisis (Preview) hi, everyone. new here. been attending meetings on and off for over a year. recently re-committed because my life has been in turmoil over the past few weeks. (months? years?) i think i'm hitting my own bottom, where i need to seriously get in touch with what I (me, me, me) need and want. my fiancé is an...	Junenine	13	733	Oct 24, 2016 by Junenine
	Anger with my ABF (Preview) I've been with my bf for 6 years and we have a family together. He has been an alcoholic since he was 14, 21 years. When we first met we had fun. Going out for dinner and drinks, etc. I never paid attention to his drinking at that time because it wasn't causing trouble for our relationship. There have b...	lisad67	1	476	Oct 24, 2016 by pinkchip
	Police 2x in 2 hours. (Preview) I don't know where to start. Just before bed dh and I commented on what a nice , "normal" day we had. Twins hadn't been severely intoxicated in our presence in 2-3 weeks. We were just starting to let our guard down a teeny tiny bit. We went to bed at 11pm. At 1am I was awoken by the dog barking. The twins were...	themoonandthestars	3	602	Oct 24, 2016 by Jerry F
	Alcoholic boyfriend (Preview) Hi guys, I'm new on here. I've been dating my alcoholic boyfriend for 5 months. There were some red flags but I had no idea how bad things were until recently. I noticed that my port barrel was near empty and realised he's been stealing my alcohol. I've asked him many times to stop but have still notic...	SaraLin	16	3324	Oct 24, 2016 by Jerry F
	Layer (Preview) Good morning, all lovely Al-anon friends. By the grace of our program, in the last few days I have become aware of more of my layer of denial falling away. A sense of seeing the world from a more realistic stand point. I feel a little nervous about it but very pleased. Dealing with people, places and thing...	Calm Lady	17	665	Oct 23, 2016 by Calm Lady
	My brother's addiction problem is spreading to my family (Preview) I had to distance myself from my brother and his toxic family. He's now got cirrhosis, his friend(POA) is overseeing his care. The kids(nephews and nieces) kept calling so I gave them resources and cut them off. They don't want help, they just want money and me to fix everything. They are lying to m...	Lucy125	4	549	Oct 23, 2016 by Lucy125
	Courage to Change reading 10-23 (Preview) The C2C reading for October 23 speaks about the fact that once sobriety is attained in the home. it points out that we believe that the nightmares will be over. However, we discover that alcohol had a tranquilizing effect and now without this the alcoholic is quite difficult to live with.and...	hotrod	5	706	Oct 23, 2016 by Jerry F
	Struggling - lost *very long post* (Preview) Hello All, Recent I have been really struggling with a myriad of things and I am seeking....something...I'm not certain I even know what. Perhaps support or perhaps peace...I'm not really sure. My RAH is over 18 months sober and doing wonderfull in his program. I try to follow the AlAnon principle...	Doingmybest	7	572	Oct 23, 2016 by Jerry F
	My mother (Preview) My mother is very adamant about her feelings regarding alcoholics. She hates them. Her father, her two brothers, and my father were all alcoholics. Her one brother has achieved sobriety of over 20 years. My father and her other brother died from the disease. Her father, my grandfather, wa...	Fooled	39	1268	Oct 23, 2016 by Fooled
	Trying not to be crazy (Preview) I've been lurking here for awhile. Started attending face to face meetings in August but started reading CAL last year. I want recovery so bad but it's so hard and so slow going sometimes. Just when I'm doing good something will happen and I feel like I take 2 steps backwards. Background: AH was 5 year...	Fancypants	8	560	Oct 23, 2016 by Lyne
	Responding instead of reacting (Preview) Reacting to all my sit. Has always been my behavior ways ,never worked like pouring fuel to the sit. Today I'm trying to learn a whole new way of behaving with using responding instead of reacting ,a new tool I'm just finding that I really need help with along with examples of how do I stop reacting( never...	lookingup	4	767	Oct 23, 2016 by lookingup
	How do you do this with a toddler??? (Preview) I was doing so well last week. I was focusing on me and my happiness. I let my recovering alcoholic have his moods and I didn't judge or get caught up with them. BUT I snapped on Saturday. Our theee year old was being three, and I'm pregnant and I'm just TIRED of being alone and having no joy in our house! I w...	Prissykitty	15	685	Oct 22, 2016 by Hopeful2112
	First contact with my alcoholic since I started Al Anon. (Preview) I am proud of myself, but I have realized that I have a loooooong way to go. I haven't had a long conversation with my mom (one of the qualifiers in my life) in about two weeks. This might not seem like long, but we were so intertwined that most days we would only go an hour or two without speaking or being toge...	sarahGee	3	642	Oct 22, 2016 by Lucy125
	Husband in detox, trying to figure out what's next (Preview) I had to travel for 5 days for work across the country. The night before I left I came home to my husband passed out drunk. I went to Seattle and whenever I called to see how things were going he was drunk. He missed a job interview and then proceeded to lie about going. When I returned home, he was drunk aga...	SDB	8	637	Oct 22, 2016 by Lucy125
	Prayers needed please ! (Preview) hi everybody,my best family on earth today,today I am needing prayers for myself ( I'm ok) just that I'm sorta in a bad predicament that I can only work hard and I mean hard at staying ,keeping detached from,and much needed prayers for my Freind please,he is in a very bad situation.much needed prayers f...	lookingup	8	530	Oct 22, 2016 by lookingup
	Somebody please help!!! (Preview) I am the black sheep of my family. Growing up I could do no right. I was beaten down and suicidal. I went to a psychologist and recovered. I am married and have two teen kids. I take care of my 90 year old mom. I don't take any drugs, I got off all psychiatric drugs about 5 years ago. I had to distance mysel...	Lucy125	12	688	Oct 22, 2016 by Lucy125
	Can love exist alongside fear? (Preview) Just thinking out loud. When i think of love before alanon and since alanon i can see a huge difference. I thought love was someone needing you, an alcoholic ticks that box. I thought it was becoming one with another, lifes so enmeshed i lost my individuality, i thought it meant making them happy at any...	el-cee	9	605	Oct 22, 2016 by Hope4Healing
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.