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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Grateful
Post Info TOPIC: Grateful
Calm Lady


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Grateful
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Feeling very grateful for my program right now. AH in bad place so unfortunately he is taking up his efforts to drag me into a fight or to listen to his pity party. To ease his stress, make him feel better.

Because of my program, I was able to see this and be aware of it. Therefore I am able to take appropriate action myself to step away. 

Without this awareness, it would have become a battle ground in our home along with me then (pointlessly) listening to his disease talking through him about how dreadful his life is and how he suffers unlike anyone else. Then when the disease felt better, it would have had a bottle of whisky to celebrate!

Meanwhile I would be feeling ill and exhausted. Having been through the whole charade again.

As it is, none of the above will happen. I have a nice day planned for myself. I will leave AH to take care of his own business.



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Grateful to put the heavy weight down.

 

 

 
hotrod


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((Calm Lady)) your hard work is paying off. You are becoming a "Calm Lady" and a" Miracle in Progress.":)

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Betty

THE HIGHEST FORM OF WISDOM IS KINDNESS

Talmud
pinkchip


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And THAT is an alanon program at work! Good on you!

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Freetime


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I hope you had a wonderful day!



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Iamhere


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(((Calm Lady))) - good on you for taking care of you and your recovery. I agree with those above me - keep working it cuz it looks great on you.

Your post and the daily from Betty remind me that our program is about action. We can not rest of our laurels ever, but must be peacefully diligent in the protection of our serenity and sanity. I am always refreshed when I read a share and 'see' our program in action. Thank you for posting!!

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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging.  Pause before assuming.  Pause before accusing.  Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret.  ~~~~  Lori Deschene

 

 
Calm Lady


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Thank you Betty, PinkChip, Free time & IAH for your happy, lovely supportive posts.

I did have a really pleasant, calm day. Thoroughly enjoyed myself.

I agree, IAH, that we have to be diligent. I rather like being that way. As a kiddie and in the past I was overly aware. Permanently on red alert for danger. Exhausting. That turned into numbness. So I just blindly crashed along.

Now with the beautiful recovery work on our program I do, it has slimmed down to healthy levels of awareness rather that toxic fight or flight all the time.

For me, recovery has been about finding the comfortable middle ground. I was too extreme either way. I want to be in comfy middle.

On another happy note, I notice my interest in cooking returning. Been enjoying reading up some recipes for ideas. Love it. Got my home group today. Lovely.

Have a good growth and peaceful week all.




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Grateful to put the heavy weight down.

 

 

 
Iamhere


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Hey Calm Lady - good on you that you had a pleasant calm day!!! I can so relate to your share. I have always said that I had black/white thinking before recovery and for years defined myself as an all/nothing person. For whatever reason - how I was made, my FOO or other, I truly was this way. I too prefer the middle ground. My emotions, attitudes, outlook and responses are way healthier when I can stay in the middle of the boat instead of fighting the waves, the currents, the flow, etc. at any other point in the boat.

We use that analogy often. I can actually get a visual of a boat and if I shift my weight left, right, forward, backwards, my course changes. However, if I can stay in the middle of the boat (recovery), things go much smoother and I can respond instead of react.

(((Hugs))) - happy Monday! Happy Meeting!

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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging.  Pause before assuming.  Pause before accusing.  Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret.  ~~~~  Lori Deschene

 

 
Calm Lady


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Thanks, Iamhere. I was very much a black and white thinker. Still can be if I am not careful. An all or nothing person. Is an exhausting way to live.

Looking back my way of doing most things was exhausting and difficult. What a blessing to change that.

I do enjoy the middle ground with most everything really.

I had a lovely meeting, thanks. Love my home group. Some beautiful shares. Topic this week was about how we are allowed to feel our anger.

When I first started feeling mine, it was overwhelming. Painful. Red hot burning rage. Felt I had no control over it.

Nowadays. It is a short mild burst of anger which alerts me to some action that I need to take. Is then gone.

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Grateful to put the heavy weight down.

 

 

 
sarahGee


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Calm Lady wrote:

Nowadays. It is a short mild burst of anger which alerts me to some action that I need to take. Is then gone.

 This is wonderful to see. I am hoping to come to the same place one day!



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Ready to let go
lookingup


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Thanks calm lady for your honest share,in my past I would have fell into old behavior patterns also,today the only qualifier I have in my life is my brother just for a day or 2 then he is gone,I've set my bounderies and sticking to them so far...I admire your strength for letting go and turning it over to your hp......hugs lu

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Do the next right thing~

ONE DAY AT A TIME!

 

 
Jen61


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Way to go!

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Calm Lady


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Many thanks for your kind responses.

Sarah, I am also amazed that I can now feel and process anger in this healthy way. I have no idea that this was how healthy angry was. That it is an asset. I was so afraid of it before. Lovely picture of you.

LookingUp. Thank you. Again it had taken me a long time to reach this place and state of mind. I love being this way.

Jen, thank you.

I am a very grateful member of Al-anon.

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Grateful to put the heavy weight down.

 

 

 
el-cee


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Your working it. Love it x

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