Al-Anon Family Group

The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.

Members Login
Username 
 
Password 
    Remember Me  
Post Info TOPIC: Do they understand how much they hurt you?


Member

Status: Offline
Posts: 16
Date:
RE: Do they understand how much they hurt you?


(((@starcatcher2)))

I too am struggling with the issue of betrayal.  It is difficult to take the high road and focus on yourself when you've in effect, been punched in the gut and are struggling with the very real pain of that.  For me, I am not sure if I am stuffing those feelings when I tell myself that I played a part in his decision or am I taking responsibility for yet something else that wasn't my responsibility.  It's difficult to take the high road and  be angry at the same time. I have my good moments (usually after meetings) and not so good moments (crying like a baby at 3am).  Today (Monday) I have decided to go to a meeting after work.  I have Courage to Change in my purse and have already reached for it several times this morning. I looked for something relating to dealing with betrayal but the best I could find was "Easy Does It".  Breath.  1 hour at a time.  "The only way out is through" is another that comes to mind. I have to remind myself there is light at the end of the tunnel.

If anyone has anything to share on dealing with the intense anger and hurt felt after realizing they have been betrayed, they would be most welcome.



__________________

How people treat you is their Karma.  How you react is yours.

Wayne Dyer



Senior Member

Status: Offline
Posts: 110
Date:

Mercury wrote:

(((@starcatcher2)))

I too am struggling with the issue of betrayal.  It is difficult to take the high road and focus on yourself when you've in effect, been punched in the gut and are struggling with the very real pain of that.  For me, I am not sure if I am stuffing those feelings when I tell myself that I played a part in his decision or am I taking responsibility for yet something else that wasn't my responsibility.  It's difficult to take the high road and  be angry at the same time. I have my good moments (usually after meetings) and not so good moments (crying like a baby at 3am).  Today (Monday) I have decided to go to a meeting after work.  I have Courage to Change in my purse and have already reached for it several times this morning. I looked for something relating to dealing with betrayal but the best I could find was "Easy Does It".  Breath.  1 hour at a time.  "The only way out is through" is another that comes to mind. I have to remind myself there is light at the end of the tunnel.

If anyone has anything to share on dealing with the intense anger and hurt felt after realizing they have been betrayed, they would be most welcome.


 Hello Mercury,

I appreciate You sharing.  Their actions sure do take apart your self esteem.  That's for sure. I am working to build that back up too.

Yes, it is very difficult to take the high road. I myself spent so many years being angry, tuning my (first) ex out that I look back on it and think was it worth it?  No, it wasn't.   

Right now anger and pain do raise their ugly little heads currently.  1 hour at a time sounds like a good motto, I'll try it out.  Still plan on going to therapy.  I definitely need it.    I'm still waiting to see that light, but for now I'll take it hour by hour. 

Thank you for sharing!



__________________

Hugs to you.  May your path be bright.



~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 1896
Date:

Mercury wrote:

If anyone has anything to share on dealing with the intense anger and hurt felt after realizing they have been betrayed, they would be most welcome.


 Hi Mercury,  I would encourage you to start a new thread with that question.  This heartfelt question could bring a wealth of Experience, Strength, and Hope, but people may not see it inside of this thread.

Kenny



__________________
«First  <  1 2 | Page of 2  sorted by
 
Quick Reply

Please log in to post quick replies.