Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Iamhere · Iamhere

Good morning all - can not believe that we are almost to April!!! Today's reading talks about the concept in Al-Anon recovery of keeping the focus on ourselves. So often, when we arrive, we don't understand this concept fully and believe that by taking care of us first, we will be perceived as selfish...

PosiesandPuppies · PosiesandPuppies

So one night I was perusing the postings and I came across Curlyblu's post about how her Qualifier ruined her favorite blanket. As I read her post, I kept thinking, Yup! I know how she feels. My bedroom (OK, our bedroom) is the one room in our tiny rented house that doesn't look like it was set up with flea-...

Curlyblu · Curlyblu

It hit me this morning that I have setting myself up, comtaminating my thoughts just by not saying what I mean, mean what I say. I thought I understood what that ment. Of course I was looking at strickly with how I deal with my A when he is active. It is so much bigger than that. It involes me. Me being honest w...

Taraxacum · Taraxacum

I posted earlier about my mother riding in the car with my 5yr old son who wasn't buckled correctly. I have a "date" to talk to her again tonight. I set a time that wouldn't be stressful, and I'm doing my best to stay calm. I hugged friends at work, did some crochet, read my literature . . . I feel like even j...

Doingmybest · Doingmybest

Hi my MIP family, Lately, I have been experiencing quite a few "issues" with my FOO...especially my eldest sister. My FOO was typical: An AF, a wonderful non-drinking mother and three girls, myself being the middle. We all "suffer" some personal marital issues related to having grown up in alcoh...

Faith40 · Faith40

why oh why do I end up in the same place... Insanity !?! So my xah even now has this huge impact on my serenity. It happened last week and set off anxiety, I attended a meeting the topic was victim , very apt ! I have been doing a lot of work on expectation (mine ) and acceptance (mine), after all he's a pigeon j...

andromeda · andromeda

So, this AM I had to take my state securities law and financial advising combined exam. I failed it. Missed it by 1 question. I am in a very dark place right now, which I didn't expect. After failing my other exam twice and then taking a third time to pass, I thought I was done with failing tests. I guess...

RL17 · RL17

It's one of those days where I would love to go out in the hot tub and have a glass of wine, but I don't want to drink in front of my RA husband. Normally I do pretty good, but tonight I find myself resenting things. Please don't get me wrong, as I have dreamed of him being sober for years. Just finding it har...

Mokka · Mokka

Hi, This is my first time posting, I have been with my alcoholic partner for almost two years and have struggled through some difficult situations on my own but now I need help. I don't feel like I can speak to any friends or family about problems with my partner because they do not understand the added co...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

Today's page describes searching for something in a dark room without turning on a light, or turning down a car or train ride when we are late for a destination. The author compares these decisions to trying to deal with alcoholism in a loved one alone, without a higher power or AlAnon wisdom. Do we blam...

Aerin · Aerin

I ask questions here because I feel many of you have good insight and experience on the alcoholic mindset. No advice needed.. just trying to understand... I've stated before that ABF is in AA now for 6-7 months. But although he goes to meetings and loves what he is learning.. I am still dumbfounded how...

Curlyblu · Curlyblu

.....I have yet to figure out what I means though. I have learnt I no patience for "friends" who are alcoholics. I have a friend who will call me when they are drunk to have a visit. Once I realize that they have been drinking I end the conversation. Frustrated. Annoyed that they call only when drinking. D...

xla13ellavita · xla13ellavita

Hi all! I am a newcomer to all of this. I am currently dating for about 2.5 years an addict that is currently in longterm treatment. I have been going to Alanon meetings 4 days a week and they have been helping. I do read the books which are great. But i find myself having bad days, emotional days, etc. Even t...

PosiesandPuppies · PosiesandPuppies

I was looking into some F2F meetings in my area, and one looks promising. It is listed as a "candlelight, participation, handicap-access" meeting. Now I understand the definition of each word, but I was wondering if anyone else has been to a participation meeting. I don't want to go if you are "requi...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Just want to say I have issues problems that all have solutions. God & I together can handle anything as long as I am willing. So I won't complain or share what gets me down. I just want to thank all of you for your support.

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

Asking for a break however not a break up .. this is the first time I have put the brakes on a relationship in this way. It's weird it has nothing to do with how I feel about him .. there is way to much drama going on and he needs to get his stuff straight. I'm coming to a point of I have had enough based upon the f...

Tannersmom · Tannersmom

I so want to sit my AS down and set him straight. Ha ha, setting an addict straight is like jumping from a plane without a shoot, hoping for a gentle landing. I want to say, what have you done in the last 3 years that has been productive? Do you realize how manipulating your AGF is? Do you realize how Manip...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning Everyone- Today's reading is about the sense of safety and security we feel as members of Alanon. Anyone who has lived with or been affected by alcoholism knows that it brings a healthy dose of chaos-- among many other things, the program provides consistency, structure and the expecte...

susieb4547 · susieb4547

My husband is a recovering alcoholic (2 years with a few slip ups). To our friends and family, he is doing great and they are all very proud of him. To me, since I have seen the few times he has gone off the wagon, I resent the appearance he gives to the outside world. He is also quite selfish and does whate...

Curlyblu · Curlyblu

I'm sure it's been talk about before....I'm really missing online meetings. The time threw me for a hoop. For me they are now at 7 am and 7pm....anyone else missing them too?

tiredtonite · tiredtonite

I decided to participate in a two day event to advance my physical, spiritual and emotional wellness. I went out and bought some required things on the last day to register. Even after I bought the stuff, I rationalized that I could use the stuff whether I decided to go or not. How practical of me lol. It w...

Debra55 · Debra55

It is with sadness and a heavy heart I let you all know, John Freifeld, founder of MIP, and my brother passed away on Friday Feb 17th, 2017. RIP John Freifeld. Sorry for the loss of your founder and creator of MIP. Debra G.

Junenine · Junenine

hi, all. my AB has 90+ days sober. and things are better. he's in an OP program plus a vocational rehab program. started therapy and seeing psych. but... he steps out at night, says he's going to the store and i can't help but wonder. things are better. we've been rebuilding. but i don't fully trust him, a...

beeharvs · beeharvs

I don't normally do this, and in fact am not a fan of reaching out online but I figured it is a good place for me to start before I seek out Al-Anon. I have done a ton of research on my own terms about alcoholism and loving an alcoholic and feel as though I am in a whirlwind of emotion at this point. I met my boyfr...

Rickbrins · Rickbrins

Well, I had a great week with my AGF who is fresh out of a 90 day in patient program. She is doing great, wish I could say the same for me. It seemed like at least once a day, I would find myself clinging to feelings and actions that I had when she was in her worst moments in her disease. The good news is that I ca...

makebelieve11 · makebelieve11

Hi everyone - Just to preface, I'm new here, know little about Al-Anon (except what I've read on the web recently), and have never dealt with an A before. My brother-in-law is an alcoholic and has been in and out of rehab for the past few years. He lives 1500 miles away, with a fiancee who is at her wit's en...

jessica1 · jessica1

Hi Everyone! So nice to meet u ;) I am an adult child of an alchoholic mother. I am struggling. I have some sort of mental health condition in which they dont know what it is yet , maybe bipolar. All I know is that I have great trepidation and fear before going to work in the morning. I cry each morning a...

TalieOwl · TalieOwl

What do you do when the alcoholic in your life shows up drunk on your front porch with car keys in hand? He's not allowed in my house because I don't have the space, he scares my animals, and because I don't want to be around him when he's drunk. I've set my boundary, but my boundary does not allow me to let him...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

Today's author describes going to a meeting in a negative mood, evident by noticing the faults in what fellow members said and did. In the spirit of keeping the focus on ourselves, the member looked to change their attitude. To do this, they remembered the purpose of AlAnon: find help, enlightenment...

hotrod · hotrod

The ODA T for March 26 asks the question, why is it so hard to admit that were powerless over alcohol as the first step requires?The reading indicates that many of us argue,the question does it mean powerless over alcohol or over the alcoholic. The reading points out that we should understand tha...

mtk746 · mtk746

How do you set boundaries without it sounding like (or being) an ultimatum? What's the difference?

MissM · MissM

Today's C2c is about defining what is and what is not our responsibility/business. Many of us are very confused about this in the beginning, having grown up or spent years being conditioned to the idea that we are responsible for taking care of every-one else first and ourselves last, if at all. Throu...

YARNCRAZY · YARNCRAZY

BY THE WAY, IM KIND OF HAPPY MOVING IN WITH BOYFRIEND. HE'S A SWEET MAN. GOT AN INTERVIEW TUES FOR A JOB I INTERVIEWED FOR LAST YR. ALSO A COMPANY OUT OF MY AREA WANTED TO INTERVIEW ME....

Husband · Husband

I'd like to find a place where I can talk about my relationship with my wife who is an alcoholic, she's been sober for 3 years. My issue is adult in nature, has to deal with the relationships my wife has made in AA. Have I come to the right place?

_bunny_ · _bunny_

I'm feeling hurt, my heart actually hurts. My co-dependent mother told me she doesn't want to see my 2 young children (ages 7 months and 2 years old) or me anymore because we caused her illness. Huh? Who says that? She has Parkinson's and suffers from the effects of alcoholism. I thought to myself, she'...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading talks about accepting Alcoholism as a disease. The writer had a difficult time seeing it as an illness and felt that if one really wanted to stop drinking then they would/could. A turning point was when a member of Al-Anon compared alcoholism to Alzheimer's disease. We see our lov...

lookingup · lookingup

Today I'm doing my best in showing up, im doing better ,I think, although im mostly reading others shares here instead of shareing myself, im finding it hard either way ,rather it's showing up or shareing. im learning to just show up for events that I want to go to, land share when I feel I need to. im been g...

lookingup · lookingup

Today marks the 4th month of no chaos or Drama in my home or around me , 1st time in my lifetime,it was a part of me ,never served me in anyway ,repeats of crises on going,along with lots of negative feelings ,lots of health problems coming on , i ended up with diverticulitis ,not fun,excrutiating pain of m...

Tannersmom · Tannersmom

This is a time in your life when you must learn to let go: of loved one, of possessions, of control. In order to let go of something that is precious to you, you need to rest in my presence, where you are complete. As you relax more and more, your grasping hand gradually opens up, releasing your prized poss...

tiredtonite · tiredtonite

Shortly after finding Alanon, my alcoholic/addict husband left me. It felt devastating at the time and for a few years in my early recovery. I felt I was a bit like an anomally. So many in my f2f meetings were either still living with active alcoholics, sober ones or had chosen to leave the alcoholic. It...

YARNCRAZY · YARNCRAZY

VERY SCARY FEW DAYS. ER TRIP/STRESS TEST/DOC VISIT. gUESS MY CALM AND SERENITY RAN OUT. DOC SAYS IM VERY STRESSED AND TRYING NEW MEDS. HE SAYS IM SCARED BECAUE IM 60 AND HAVE NO SAFETY NET. IM MOVING IN BOYFRIEND,S HOUSE, HAVE VERY LITTLE MONEY,UNEMPLOYED, OUT OF UNEMPLOYMENT,HAVE A WELFARE FOOD CARD...

starcatcher2 · starcatcher2

Hi.Im back! Ive been gone for awhile trying to re-adjust. Sorry for the lengthy post. Im just looking for some words of encouragement and suggestions. I have read a few post and they really resonated with me. I have been in a relationship with my now exAB for almost two years. Stuck by him continuou...

bchan · bchan

I finally am here and going to meetings because my son, who is a user, has brought me to a place I never thought I would be. I never thought I would be in a position where I am so angry and betrayed that he and I get into a physical altercation. He is a grown man and after that day, I realized I needed help from a gr...

Taraxacum · Taraxacum

The more insanity I recognize around me. The latest episode was my mother. She took care of my son overnight and then drove him to ice cream (yum) and then back towards our house (about an hour away). It was nice, but then I found out from my 5yr old that the car seat wasn't buckled right. They couldn't ge...

Curlyblu · Curlyblu

When you know the person behind the disease, I am finding it is making my choices very difficult. Maybe it is also not allowing me to grow within my program. Knowing I intelligence, the love this person has had for things that were important to them, he respect and gratitude shown for his employer the...

Bettertomorrow · Bettertomorrow

So far, I have been successfully (mostly) detaching; focusing on myself and the children and trying to celebrate the times my AH attends his AA meeting. As he is a non driver, I have given my evenings to ferrying him to and from various meetings. Tonight I just picked him up from his AA meeting and he i...

el-cee · el-cee

It isnt discussed much as an option especially to new people and I understand its because new people are deep in the disease and often haven't got the ration and clarity to make decisions that are right for them based on all the facts or reality. A lot of people get recovery and use the tools to stay with th...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading shares about pain and suffering that results from this disease. For most of us, the disease has contributed to many dashed hopes, broken dreams and considerable pain. While we don't want to dwell on these events, we don't want to turn our back either. It is through the fellowship w...

VickiR · VickiR

Hi everyone, I'm finally posting on this board because I have had a lot of difficulty attending in-person meetings - I'm hoping to have more childcare by the summer but waiting is starting to feel crazy - I have a two year old, and my H is an alcoholic. My mother is a recovered alcoholic and she has been in...

Faith40 · Faith40

I stumbled upon this group a year ago when I was struggling to get to face to face meetings and it's been a blessing. I don't often post, but i regularly read and just hearing 'program speak 'is invaluable . i thought I would officially say hi . Ive had some years of peace due to how severe the drinking of m...

Funkified · Funkified

My husband is in recovery - almost 8 months sober, but his situation was more complex. He was a hardcore binge drinker from age 15 - 24. He quit drinking cold turkey. He decided he'd like to drink again socially after almost 20 years, and started back up December of 2014, and he did great. He never dr...

mamabear2 · mamabear2

Hello my name is Heather and my husband is a newly recovering addict. I am the mama of two small children (hence my incredibly creative username) 2.5 year and 5 month old boys. My husband had a pill addition that he hid very well from me a year and it all came out right after the birth of our youngest son. We h...

Tannersmom · Tannersmom

AS has been working for 2 weeks and 3 days as of today. Living one day at a time. At this point he doesn't have a choice about going to work. He is being dropped off by his dad and picked up by my dad. Just like a little kid going to school. No car, that was totaled last summer. But today is good, he is working and h...

andromeda · andromeda

Has anyone else struggled with this concept? QTIP.....that's one of our Al Anon slogans and the one I struggle with the most! So, yesterday, I finally passed my huge general securities licensing exam. After failing twice, I still hung in there and got an 80% yesterday. I was ecstatic. I was so rea...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

Today's reading considers how living around alcoholism can lead to gradual changes within ourselves, including ignoring or suppressing feelings. We can end up losing our sense of self and drifting somewhere between muted and numb, hoping, waiting, fading... We may more easily recognize where o...

pumkin26 · pumkin26

Yesterday I felt myself wallowing in self-pity and martyrdom. I was in an out of staying present and wallowing. In my truth it was ME that was struggling and although I had certain triggers from my A, it was more me- feeling sorry for myself. I was lucky enough to know a friend at my first F2F meeting and sh...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

God grant me the serenity to except the things I can not change The courage to change the the things I can And the wisdom to know the difference. My son is back in a terrible place. He can't cope with life on Life's terms so he has 3 choices....sobriety, prison or death.

PosiesandPuppies · PosiesandPuppies

Hello All! I am where I thought I would never be again. On the Merry-go-round. Again. Even though I have a lot of venting to do, this post will be some history. Six years ago I found out my H was a meth addict. Fun. The 3 years prior was so hellish, that I was planning on leaving him with my then 10 year-old son....

lookingup · lookingup

I had gotten away from my readings of ctc and odat last several days,gotten myself way off center.im not perfect and won't be in this life I'm striving each day.i get sidetracked with other things like I get caught up with freinds shopping what not. guess I got a one track mind on one thing ,as I'm been bra...

Jubilantgirl · Jubilantgirl

Hello everyone, I'm new to this board and so happy to have found you all. Started practicing the 12 steps again, after about a 10 year hiatus. I thought I could do it all on my own and forgot about the 12 steps. This left me with 10 years of uncovered anger, rage, resentment towards both parents (who are a...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Courage to Change (C2C) 3/30/17 (Preview) Good morning all - can not believe that we are almost to April!!! Today's reading talks about the concept in Al-Anon recovery of keeping the focus on ourselves. So often, when we arrive, we don't understand this concept fully and believe that by taking care of us first, we will be perceived as selfish...	Iamhere	6	488	Mar 31, 2017 by PosiesandPuppies
	So yea, Curlyblu, I know how you feel! (Preview) So one night I was perusing the postings and I came across Curlyblu's post about how her Qualifier ruined her favorite blanket. As I read her post, I kept thinking, Yup! I know how she feels. My bedroom (OK, our bedroom) is the one room in our tiny rented house that doesn't look like it was set up with flea-...	PosiesandPuppies	7	502	Mar 31, 2017 by PosiesandPuppies
	Not meaning what I say (Preview) It hit me this morning that I have setting myself up, comtaminating my thoughts just by not saying what I mean, mean what I say. I thought I understood what that ment. Of course I was looking at strickly with how I deal with my A when he is active. It is so much bigger than that. It involes me. Me being honest w...	Curlyblu	9	577	Mar 30, 2017 by SerenityRUS
	Gathering up my serenity (Preview) I posted earlier about my mother riding in the car with my 5yr old son who wasn't buckled correctly. I have a "date" to talk to her again tonight. I set a time that wouldn't be stressful, and I'm doing my best to stay calm. I hugged friends at work, did some crochet, read my literature . . . I feel like even j...	Taraxacum	6	459	Mar 30, 2017 by Skorpi
	Questions about FOO, isms, and insanity - long post - opinions welcomed (Preview) Hi my MIP family, Lately, I have been experiencing quite a few "issues" with my FOO...especially my eldest sister. My FOO was typical: An AF, a wonderful non-drinking mother and three girls, myself being the middle. We all "suffer" some personal marital issues related to having grown up in alcoh...	Doingmybest	10	584	Mar 30, 2017 by a4l
	Merry go round ? (Preview) why oh why do I end up in the same place... Insanity !?! So my xah even now has this huge impact on my serenity. It happened last week and set off anxiety, I attended a meeting the topic was victim , very apt ! I have been doing a lot of work on expectation (mine ) and acceptance (mine), after all he's a pigeon j...	Faith40	4	524	Mar 30, 2017 by a4l
	Ha. Well, I failed again (Preview) So, this AM I had to take my state securities law and financial advising combined exam. I failed it. Missed it by 1 question. I am in a very dark place right now, which I didn't expect. After failing my other exam twice and then taking a third time to pass, I thought I was done with failing tests. I guess...	andromeda	9	625	Mar 30, 2017 by a4l
	Having a rough day (Preview) It's one of those days where I would love to go out in the hot tub and have a glass of wine, but I don't want to drink in front of my RA husband. Normally I do pretty good, but tonight I find myself resenting things. Please don't get me wrong, as I have dreamed of him being sober for years. Just finding it har...	RL17	7	478	Mar 30, 2017 by nursedebbi
	Recovering alcoholic fiance - confusing myself with overthinking (Preview) Hi, This is my first time posting, I have been with my alcoholic partner for almost two years and have struggled through some difficult situations on my own but now I need help. I don't feel like I can speak to any friends or family about problems with my partner because they do not understand the added co...	Mokka	7	573	Mar 29, 2017 by Jerry F
	3-29-17 One Day at a Time in AlAnon (Preview) Today's page describes searching for something in a dark room without turning on a light, or turning down a car or train ride when we are late for a destination. The author compares these decisions to trying to deal with alcoholism in a loved one alone, without a higher power or AlAnon wisdom. Do we blam...	Enigmatic	5	792	Mar 29, 2017 by Enigmatic
	Yes, Another Question (Preview) I ask questions here because I feel many of you have good insight and experience on the alcoholic mindset. No advice needed.. just trying to understand... I've stated before that ABF is in AA now for 6-7 months. But although he goes to meetings and loves what he is learning.. I am still dumbfounded how...	Aerin	11	503	Mar 29, 2017 by KennyFenderjazz
	Learning everyday (Preview) .....I have yet to figure out what I means though. I have learnt I no patience for "friends" who are alcoholics. I have a friend who will call me when they are drunk to have a visit. Once I realize that they have been drinking I end the conversation. Frustrated. Annoyed that they call only when drinking. D...	Curlyblu	9	530	Mar 29, 2017 by Curlyblu
	Im a newcomer and need some advice.. (Preview) Hi all! I am a newcomer to all of this. I am currently dating for about 2.5 years an addict that is currently in longterm treatment. I have been going to Alanon meetings 4 days a week and they have been helping. I do read the books which are great. But i find myself having bad days, emotional days, etc. Even t...	xla13ellavita	2	329	Mar 29, 2017 by Iamhere
	Can anyone tell me what a "participation" meeting is? (Preview) I was looking into some F2F meetings in my area, and one looks promising. It is listed as a "candlelight, participation, handicap-access" meeting. Now I understand the definition of each word, but I was wondering if anyone else has been to a participation meeting. I don't want to go if you are "requi...	PosiesandPuppies	6	439	Mar 28, 2017 by PosiesandPuppies
	Another day another issue (Preview) Just want to say I have issues problems that all have solutions. God & I together can handle anything as long as I am willing. So I won't complain or share what gets me down. I just want to thank all of you for your support.	Hoot Nanny	3	432	Mar 28, 2017 by hotrod
	Need a little space .. (Preview) Asking for a break however not a break up .. this is the first time I have put the brakes on a relationship in this way. It's weird it has nothing to do with how I feel about him .. there is way to much drama going on and he needs to get his stuff straight. I'm coming to a point of I have had enough based upon the f...	SerenityRUS	21	654	Mar 28, 2017 by andromeda
	Bite my tongue (Preview) I so want to sit my AS down and set him straight. Ha ha, setting an addict straight is like jumping from a plane without a shoot, hoping for a gentle landing. I want to say, what have you done in the last 3 years that has been productive? Do you realize how manipulating your AGF is? Do you realize how Manip...	Tannersmom	3	3350	Mar 28, 2017 by Iamhere
	Hope for Today Mar 28 (Preview) Good morning Everyone- Today's reading is about the sense of safety and security we feel as members of Alanon. Anyone who has lived with or been affected by alcoholism knows that it brings a healthy dose of chaos-- among many other things, the program provides consistency, structure and the expecte...	yanksfan51	3	532	Mar 28, 2017 by Iamhere
	Recovering but selfish (Preview) My husband is a recovering alcoholic (2 years with a few slip ups). To our friends and family, he is doing great and they are all very proud of him. To me, since I have seen the few times he has gone off the wagon, I resent the appearance he gives to the outside world. He is also quite selfish and does whate...	susieb4547	13	625	Mar 28, 2017 by SerenityRUS
	Missing online meetings (Preview) I'm sure it's been talk about before....I'm really missing online meetings. The time threw me for a hoop. For me they are now at 7 am and 7pm....anyone else missing them too?	Curlyblu	3	339	Mar 28, 2017 by Curlyblu
	Living Fully (Preview) I decided to participate in a two day event to advance my physical, spiritual and emotional wellness. I went out and bought some required things on the last day to register. Even after I bought the stuff, I rationalized that I could use the stuff whether I decided to go or not. How practical of me lol. It w...	tiredtonite	4	689	Mar 28, 2017 by el-cee
	RIP John Freifeld (Preview) It is with sadness and a heavy heart I let you all know, John Freifeld, founder of MIP, and my brother passed away on Friday Feb 17th, 2017. RIP John Freifeld. Sorry for the loss of your founder and creator of MIP. Debra G.	Debra55	22	959	Mar 27, 2017 by Junenine
	better but.... (Preview) hi, all. my AB has 90+ days sober. and things are better. he's in an OP program plus a vocational rehab program. started therapy and seeing psych. but... he steps out at night, says he's going to the store and i can't help but wonder. things are better. we've been rebuilding. but i don't fully trust him, a...	Junenine	11	755	Mar 27, 2017 by Junenine
	I am new to this, thanks for reading! (Preview) I don't normally do this, and in fact am not a fan of reaching out online but I figured it is a good place for me to start before I seek out Al-Anon. I have done a ton of research on my own terms about alcoholism and loving an alcoholic and feel as though I am in a whirlwind of emotion at this point. I met my boyfr...	beeharvs	3	458	Mar 27, 2017 by Junenine
	The Ghost of feelings Past (Preview) Well, I had a great week with my AGF who is fresh out of a 90 day in patient program. She is doing great, wish I could say the same for me. It seemed like at least once a day, I would find myself clinging to feelings and actions that I had when she was in her worst moments in her disease. The good news is that I ca...	Rickbrins	8	537	Mar 27, 2017 by Junenine
	Struggles with A-in-law (Preview) Hi everyone - Just to preface, I'm new here, know little about Al-Anon (except what I've read on the web recently), and have never dealt with an A before. My brother-in-law is an alcoholic and has been in and out of rehab for the past few years. He lives 1500 miles away, with a fiancee who is at her wit's en...	makebelieve11	13	606	Mar 27, 2017 by makebelieve11
	New and struggling (Preview) Hi Everyone! So nice to meet u ;) I am an adult child of an alchoholic mother. I am struggling. I have some sort of mental health condition in which they dont know what it is yet , maybe bipolar. All I know is that I have great trepidation and fear before going to work in the morning. I cry each morning a...	jessica1	3	472	Mar 27, 2017 by tiredtonite
	Advice requested: When he shows up drunk (Preview) What do you do when the alcoholic in your life shows up drunk on your front porch with car keys in hand? He's not allowed in my house because I don't have the space, he scares my animals, and because I don't want to be around him when he's drunk. I've set my boundary, but my boundary does not allow me to let him...	TalieOwl	13	449	Mar 27, 2017 by TalieOwl
	3/27/17 One Day at a Time in AlAnon (Preview) Today's author describes going to a meeting in a negative mood, evident by noticing the faults in what fellow members said and did. In the spirit of keeping the focus on ourselves, the member looked to change their attitude. To do this, they remembered the purpose of AlAnon: find help, enlightenment...	Enigmatic	4	493	Mar 27, 2017 by Iamhere
	ODAT Reading 3-26-2017 (Preview) The ODA T for March 26 asks the question, why is it so hard to admit that were powerless over alcohol as the first step requires?The reading indicates that many of us argue,the question does it mean powerless over alcohol or over the alcoholic. The reading points out that we should understand tha...	hotrod	3	1252	Mar 27, 2017 by Iamhere
	Boundaries (Preview) How do you set boundaries without it sounding like (or being) an ultimatum? What's the difference?	mtk746	12	1064	Mar 27, 2017 by Iamhere
	Courage To Change 25/3 (Preview) Today's C2c is about defining what is and what is not our responsibility/business. Many of us are very confused about this in the beginning, having grown up or spent years being conditioned to the idea that we are responsible for taking care of every-one else first and ourselves last, if at all. Throu...	MissM	5	483	Mar 26, 2017 by hotrod
	GLIMMER OF HOPE (Preview) BY THE WAY, IM KIND OF HAPPY MOVING IN WITH BOYFRIEND. HE'S A SWEET MAN. GOT AN INTERVIEW TUES FOR A JOB I INTERVIEWED FOR LAST YR. ALSO A COMPANY OUT OF MY AREA WANTED TO INTERVIEW ME....	YARNCRAZY	4	437	Mar 25, 2017 by Jerry F
	I'm new, is this a place I can be brutally honest? (Preview) I'd like to find a place where I can talk about my relationship with my wife who is an alcoholic, she's been sober for 3 years. My issue is adult in nature, has to deal with the relationships my wife has made in AA. Have I come to the right place?	Husband	8	515	Mar 25, 2017 by Jerry F
	The family disease of alcoholism (Preview) I'm feeling hurt, my heart actually hurts. My co-dependent mother told me she doesn't want to see my 2 young children (ages 7 months and 2 years old) or me anymore because we caused her illness. Huh? Who says that? She has Parkinson's and suffers from the effects of alcoholism. I thought to myself, she'...	_bunny_	9	1172	Mar 25, 2017 by Iamhere
	Courage to Change (C2C) 3/24/17 (Preview) Today's reading talks about accepting Alcoholism as a disease. The writer had a difficult time seeing it as an illness and felt that if one really wanted to stop drinking then they would/could. A turning point was when a member of Al-Anon compared alcoholism to Alzheimer's disease. We see our lov...	Iamhere	7	501	Mar 25, 2017 by Iamhere
	Showing up (Preview) Today I'm doing my best in showing up, im doing better ,I think, although im mostly reading others shares here instead of shareing myself, im finding it hard either way ,rather it's showing up or shareing. im learning to just show up for events that I want to go to, land share when I feel I need to. im been g...	lookingup	7	2012	Mar 25, 2017 by lookingup
	No more chaos or Drama (Preview) Today marks the 4th month of no chaos or Drama in my home or around me , 1st time in my lifetime,it was a part of me ,never served me in anyway ,repeats of crises on going,along with lots of negative feelings ,lots of health problems coming on , i ended up with diverticulitis ,not fun,excrutiating pain of m...	lookingup	8	1095	Mar 25, 2017 by lookingup
	Let Go (Preview) This is a time in your life when you must learn to let go: of loved one, of possessions, of control. In order to let go of something that is precious to you, you need to rest in my presence, where you are complete. As you relax more and more, your grasping hand gradually opens up, releasing your prized poss...	Tannersmom	4	407	Mar 24, 2017 by Iamhere
	Being Left Happens Too (Preview) Shortly after finding Alanon, my alcoholic/addict husband left me. It felt devastating at the time and for a few years in my early recovery. I felt I was a bit like an anomally. So many in my f2f meetings were either still living with active alcoholics, sober ones or had chosen to leave the alcoholic. It...	tiredtonite	7	366	Mar 24, 2017 by bud
	PANIC/STRESS HEART PAIN (Preview) VERY SCARY FEW DAYS. ER TRIP/STRESS TEST/DOC VISIT. gUESS MY CALM AND SERENITY RAN OUT. DOC SAYS IM VERY STRESSED AND TRYING NEW MEDS. HE SAYS IM SCARED BECAUE IM 60 AND HAVE NO SAFETY NET. IM MOVING IN BOYFRIEND,S HOUSE, HAVE VERY LITTLE MONEY,UNEMPLOYED, OUT OF UNEMPLOYMENT,HAVE A WELFARE FOOD CARD...	YARNCRAZY	10	1848	Mar 24, 2017 by bud
	Not my Monkey, Not my Circus.... Betrayal Emotional Cheating Alcoholic abandonment (Preview) Hi.Im back! Ive been gone for awhile trying to re-adjust. Sorry for the lengthy post. Im just looking for some words of encouragement and suggestions. I have read a few post and they really resonated with me. I have been in a relationship with my now exAB for almost two years. Stuck by him continuou...	starcatcher2	6	6406	Mar 24, 2017 by starcatcher2
	THIS IS NEW TO ME (Preview) I finally am here and going to meetings because my son, who is a user, has brought me to a place I never thought I would be. I never thought I would be in a position where I am so angry and betrayed that he and I get into a physical altercation. He is a grown man and after that day, I realized I needed help from a gr...	bchan	6	2355	Mar 24, 2017 by _bunny_
	The heathier I get . . . (Preview) The more insanity I recognize around me. The latest episode was my mother. She took care of my son overnight and then drove him to ice cream (yum) and then back towards our house (about an hour away). It was nice, but then I found out from my 5yr old that the car seat wasn't buckled right. They couldn't ge...	Taraxacum	11	526	Mar 24, 2017 by Taraxacum
	Typing out loud (Preview) When you know the person behind the disease, I am finding it is making my choices very difficult. Maybe it is also not allowing me to grow within my program. Knowing I intelligence, the love this person has had for things that were important to them, he respect and gratitude shown for his employer the...	Curlyblu	3	298	Mar 23, 2017 by Curlyblu
	Need to vent.... (Preview) So far, I have been successfully (mostly) detaching; focusing on myself and the children and trying to celebrate the times my AH attends his AA meeting. As he is a non driver, I have given my evenings to ferrying him to and from various meetings. Tonight I just picked him up from his AA meeting and he i...	Bettertomorrow	9	498	Mar 23, 2017 by Jerry F
	Leaving is an option! (Preview) It isnt discussed much as an option especially to new people and I understand its because new people are deep in the disease and often haven't got the ration and clarity to make decisions that are right for them based on all the facts or reality. A lot of people get recovery and use the tools to stay with th...	el-cee	7	548	Mar 23, 2017 by Enigmatic
	Courage to Change (C2C) 3/23/17 (Preview) Today's reading shares about pain and suffering that results from this disease. For most of us, the disease has contributed to many dashed hopes, broken dreams and considerable pain. While we don't want to dwell on these events, we don't want to turn our back either. It is through the fellowship w...	Iamhere	5	2557	Mar 23, 2017 by shrnp
	First Post - total newbie (Preview) Hi everyone, I'm finally posting on this board because I have had a lot of difficulty attending in-person meetings - I'm hoping to have more childcare by the summer but waiting is starting to feel crazy - I have a two year old, and my H is an alcoholic. My mother is a recovered alcoholic and she has been in...	VickiR	7	421	Mar 23, 2017 by pumkin26
	Newbie ish .. (Preview) I stumbled upon this group a year ago when I was struggling to get to face to face meetings and it's been a blessing. I don't often post, but i regularly read and just hearing 'program speak 'is invaluable . i thought I would officially say hi . Ive had some years of peace due to how severe the drinking of m...	Faith40	3	280	Mar 23, 2017 by hotrod
	Awkward (Preview) My husband is in recovery - almost 8 months sober, but his situation was more complex. He was a hardcore binge drinker from age 15 - 24. He quit drinking cold turkey. He decided he'd like to drink again socially after almost 20 years, and started back up December of 2014, and he did great. He never dr...	Funkified	8	520	Mar 22, 2017 by Iamhere
	Struggling with knowing if Al-anon is for me (Preview) Hello my name is Heather and my husband is a newly recovering addict. I am the mama of two small children (hence my incredibly creative username) 2.5 year and 5 month old boys. My husband had a pill addition that he hid very well from me a year and it all came out right after the birth of our youngest son. We h...	mamabear2	16	686	Mar 22, 2017 by Funkified
	2 weeks and 3 days (Preview) AS has been working for 2 weeks and 3 days as of today. Living one day at a time. At this point he doesn't have a choice about going to work. He is being dropped off by his dad and picked up by my dad. Just like a little kid going to school. No car, that was totaled last summer. But today is good, he is working and h...	Tannersmom	4	433	Mar 22, 2017 by Cathyinaz
	Being too 'sensitive'/taking things personally (Preview) Has anyone else struggled with this concept? QTIP.....that's one of our Al Anon slogans and the one I struggle with the most! So, yesterday, I finally passed my huge general securities licensing exam. After failing twice, I still hung in there and got an 80% yesterday. I was ecstatic. I was so rea...	andromeda	16	2358	Mar 22, 2017 by likemyheart
	3-22-17 Courage to Change (Preview) Today's reading considers how living around alcoholism can lead to gradual changes within ourselves, including ignoring or suppressing feelings. We can end up losing our sense of self and drifting somewhere between muted and numb, hoping, waiting, fading... We may more easily recognize where o...	Enigmatic	5	495	Mar 22, 2017 by Iamhere
	Being Easy on Me... (Preview) Yesterday I felt myself wallowing in self-pity and martyrdom. I was in an out of staying present and wallowing. In my truth it was ME that was struggling and although I had certain triggers from my A, it was more me- feeling sorry for myself. I was lucky enough to know a friend at my first F2F meeting and sh...	pumkin26	7	510	Mar 22, 2017 by Iamhere
	It has started again (Preview) God grant me the serenity to except the things I can not change The courage to change the the things I can And the wisdom to know the difference. My son is back in a terrible place. He can't cope with life on Life's terms so he has 3 choices....sobriety, prison or death.	Cathyinaz	17	1500	Mar 22, 2017 by Cathyinaz
	Well, I'm Back (Preview) Hello All! I am where I thought I would never be again. On the Merry-go-round. Again. Even though I have a lot of venting to do, this post will be some history. Six years ago I found out my H was a meth addict. Fun. The 3 years prior was so hellish, that I was planning on leaving him with my then 10 year-old son....	PosiesandPuppies	8	532	Mar 21, 2017 by Jerry F
	Daily readings (Preview) I had gotten away from my readings of ctc and odat last several days,gotten myself way off center.im not perfect and won't be in this life I'm striving each day.i get sidetracked with other things like I get caught up with freinds shopping what not. guess I got a one track mind on one thing ,as I'm been bra...	lookingup	3	2211	Mar 21, 2017 by lookingup
	Resentment towards alcoholic parents (Preview) Hello everyone, I'm new to this board and so happy to have found you all. Started practicing the 12 steps again, after about a 10 year hiatus. I thought I could do it all on my own and forgot about the 12 steps. This left me with 10 years of uncovered anger, rage, resentment towards both parents (who are a...	Jubilantgirl	6	848	Mar 21, 2017 by shrnp
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.