Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Husband · Husband

I'd like to find a place where I can talk about my relationship with my wife who is an alcoholic, she's been sober for 3 years. My issue is adult in nature, has to deal with the relationships my wife has made in AA. Have I come to the right place?

_bunny_ · _bunny_

I'm feeling hurt, my heart actually hurts. My co-dependent mother told me she doesn't want to see my 2 young children (ages 7 months and 2 years old) or me anymore because we caused her illness. Huh? Who says that? She has Parkinson's and suffers from the effects of alcoholism. I thought to myself, she'...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading talks about accepting Alcoholism as a disease. The writer had a difficult time seeing it as an illness and felt that if one really wanted to stop drinking then they would/could. A turning point was when a member of Al-Anon compared alcoholism to Alzheimer's disease. We see our lov...

lookingup · lookingup

Today I'm doing my best in showing up, im doing better ,I think, although im mostly reading others shares here instead of shareing myself, im finding it hard either way ,rather it's showing up or shareing. im learning to just show up for events that I want to go to, land share when I feel I need to. im been g...

lookingup · lookingup

Today marks the 4th month of no chaos or Drama in my home or around me , 1st time in my lifetime,it was a part of me ,never served me in anyway ,repeats of crises on going,along with lots of negative feelings ,lots of health problems coming on , i ended up with diverticulitis ,not fun,excrutiating pain of m...

Tannersmom · Tannersmom

This is a time in your life when you must learn to let go: of loved one, of possessions, of control. In order to let go of something that is precious to you, you need to rest in my presence, where you are complete. As you relax more and more, your grasping hand gradually opens up, releasing your prized poss...

tiredtonite · tiredtonite

Shortly after finding Alanon, my alcoholic/addict husband left me. It felt devastating at the time and for a few years in my early recovery. I felt I was a bit like an anomally. So many in my f2f meetings were either still living with active alcoholics, sober ones or had chosen to leave the alcoholic. It...

YARNCRAZY · YARNCRAZY

VERY SCARY FEW DAYS. ER TRIP/STRESS TEST/DOC VISIT. gUESS MY CALM AND SERENITY RAN OUT. DOC SAYS IM VERY STRESSED AND TRYING NEW MEDS. HE SAYS IM SCARED BECAUE IM 60 AND HAVE NO SAFETY NET. IM MOVING IN BOYFRIEND,S HOUSE, HAVE VERY LITTLE MONEY,UNEMPLOYED, OUT OF UNEMPLOYMENT,HAVE A WELFARE FOOD CARD...

starcatcher2 · starcatcher2

Hi.Im back! Ive been gone for awhile trying to re-adjust. Sorry for the lengthy post. Im just looking for some words of encouragement and suggestions. I have read a few post and they really resonated with me. I have been in a relationship with my now exAB for almost two years. Stuck by him continuou...

bchan · bchan

I finally am here and going to meetings because my son, who is a user, has brought me to a place I never thought I would be. I never thought I would be in a position where I am so angry and betrayed that he and I get into a physical altercation. He is a grown man and after that day, I realized I needed help from a gr...

Taraxacum · Taraxacum

The more insanity I recognize around me. The latest episode was my mother. She took care of my son overnight and then drove him to ice cream (yum) and then back towards our house (about an hour away). It was nice, but then I found out from my 5yr old that the car seat wasn't buckled right. They couldn't ge...

Curlyblu · Curlyblu

When you know the person behind the disease, I am finding it is making my choices very difficult. Maybe it is also not allowing me to grow within my program. Knowing I intelligence, the love this person has had for things that were important to them, he respect and gratitude shown for his employer the...

Bettertomorrow · Bettertomorrow

So far, I have been successfully (mostly) detaching; focusing on myself and the children and trying to celebrate the times my AH attends his AA meeting. As he is a non driver, I have given my evenings to ferrying him to and from various meetings. Tonight I just picked him up from his AA meeting and he i...

el-cee · el-cee

It isnt discussed much as an option especially to new people and I understand its because new people are deep in the disease and often haven't got the ration and clarity to make decisions that are right for them based on all the facts or reality. A lot of people get recovery and use the tools to stay with th...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading shares about pain and suffering that results from this disease. For most of us, the disease has contributed to many dashed hopes, broken dreams and considerable pain. While we don't want to dwell on these events, we don't want to turn our back either. It is through the fellowship w...

VickiR · VickiR

Hi everyone, I'm finally posting on this board because I have had a lot of difficulty attending in-person meetings - I'm hoping to have more childcare by the summer but waiting is starting to feel crazy - I have a two year old, and my H is an alcoholic. My mother is a recovered alcoholic and she has been in...

Faith40 · Faith40

I stumbled upon this group a year ago when I was struggling to get to face to face meetings and it's been a blessing. I don't often post, but i regularly read and just hearing 'program speak 'is invaluable . i thought I would officially say hi . Ive had some years of peace due to how severe the drinking of m...

Funkified · Funkified

My husband is in recovery - almost 8 months sober, but his situation was more complex. He was a hardcore binge drinker from age 15 - 24. He quit drinking cold turkey. He decided he'd like to drink again socially after almost 20 years, and started back up December of 2014, and he did great. He never dr...

mamabear2 · mamabear2

Hello my name is Heather and my husband is a newly recovering addict. I am the mama of two small children (hence my incredibly creative username) 2.5 year and 5 month old boys. My husband had a pill addition that he hid very well from me a year and it all came out right after the birth of our youngest son. We h...

Tannersmom · Tannersmom

AS has been working for 2 weeks and 3 days as of today. Living one day at a time. At this point he doesn't have a choice about going to work. He is being dropped off by his dad and picked up by my dad. Just like a little kid going to school. No car, that was totaled last summer. But today is good, he is working and h...

andromeda · andromeda

Has anyone else struggled with this concept? QTIP.....that's one of our Al Anon slogans and the one I struggle with the most! So, yesterday, I finally passed my huge general securities licensing exam. After failing twice, I still hung in there and got an 80% yesterday. I was ecstatic. I was so rea...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

Today's reading considers how living around alcoholism can lead to gradual changes within ourselves, including ignoring or suppressing feelings. We can end up losing our sense of self and drifting somewhere between muted and numb, hoping, waiting, fading... We may more easily recognize where o...

pumkin26 · pumkin26

Yesterday I felt myself wallowing in self-pity and martyrdom. I was in an out of staying present and wallowing. In my truth it was ME that was struggling and although I had certain triggers from my A, it was more me- feeling sorry for myself. I was lucky enough to know a friend at my first F2F meeting and sh...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

God grant me the serenity to except the things I can not change The courage to change the the things I can And the wisdom to know the difference. My son is back in a terrible place. He can't cope with life on Life's terms so he has 3 choices....sobriety, prison or death.

PosiesandPuppies · PosiesandPuppies

Hello All! I am where I thought I would never be again. On the Merry-go-round. Again. Even though I have a lot of venting to do, this post will be some history. Six years ago I found out my H was a meth addict. Fun. The 3 years prior was so hellish, that I was planning on leaving him with my then 10 year-old son....

lookingup · lookingup

I had gotten away from my readings of ctc and odat last several days,gotten myself way off center.im not perfect and won't be in this life I'm striving each day.i get sidetracked with other things like I get caught up with freinds shopping what not. guess I got a one track mind on one thing ,as I'm been bra...

Jubilantgirl · Jubilantgirl

Hello everyone, I'm new to this board and so happy to have found you all. Started practicing the 12 steps again, after about a 10 year hiatus. I thought I could do it all on my own and forgot about the 12 steps. This left me with 10 years of uncovered anger, rage, resentment towards both parents (who are a...

Curlyblu · Curlyblu

Of someone trying to detox? My A is currently been out with a flu. He has medication for it....for some reason I started to wonder if his body was "trying" to detox. Yes I know he can not do it on his own. I'm just wondering because I know how much he normally drinks and hasn't had any in over a week. It has to be...

MissM · MissM

So I'm back with My Him. I expect this information to be met with deathly silence. Also this post is mostly about him. Sorry. My mother came to see me the other day and I told her. She was surprisingly not discouraging. She said, well, he obviously loves you Melissa, but he's uncontrollable. But you love...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning everyone-- Today's reading is about how powerful our attitude is and where it can take us. Many of us gravitate toward the familiar, which depending on our circumstances, may not always be the healthiest for us. Any of us that either grew up in an alcoholic family, married into one, or ha...

El · El

It is 3:15 am. I woke up and immediately started replaying scenes from a family gathering yesterday which made/make me so angry. So, I have been reciting the serenity prayer like a mantra along with steps 1-3. I know I can't carry this into tomorrow, as it will be a new day. AH's siblings were over yest...

Curlyblu · Curlyblu

Frustrating! Living with an active A, is to, say the least, and polietly, frustrating. I try so hard to practice the pause, before I say things I normally would. Even when he is dry, I pause before I respond to something completely stupid he has said. Like last night, we had been having a decent conversa...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

Today's reading focuses on the spiritual nature of our Higher Power (HP). We are encouraged to choose a HP of our own understanding, a god as we are familiar with or simply a program concept. What gives it power as a spiritual concept is our willingness to humbly acknowledge something greater and more...

hotrod · hotrod

The ODA T reading for March 19 speaks about living one day at a time. It points out that Al-Anon is a 24 hour programso that by living in this manner we receive the comfort and assurance that we need in the moment and in the day and do not burden ourselves with the woes of the past or worries of the fut...

Rickbrins · Rickbrins

Today I am cleaning our house and preparing for my loves release from her 90 day program. I have hope and trust in both my HP and hers that she will return home in a much better state than when she left. I want great things for us both, I want that future that looked so bright years ago but seemed impossible on...

Rickbrins · Rickbrins

Ok, so I clearly have had far too much time to myself in that dangerous section of my mind.... I have been very happy, my AGF has been in her 90 day inpatient program and appears to be doing very well, Her release date is tentatively scheduled for Monday (More about that later) and I am thrilled that she...

Isthisreallife · Isthisreallife

This is my first time here. My husband is a high functioning alcoholic. He admits it but won't get help. We've been married almost 7 years and he's been this way for 4 1/2. We have two children and I try my hardest to keep them shielded but they're getting old enough to notice. I'm so fed up I don't know what t...

laketime · laketime

Greetings. Not really sure where to start. Husband of 19 years is an alcoholic. Hides it well, most of our friends don't have a clue....at least I don't think they do. Things have worsened as of late. We have 2 kids. I'm so tired of being "on guard" all the time and getting that sick-in-the-pit-of...

Lyne · Lyne

About two hours ago, I had the most ridiculous , circular, and unproductive discussion with my A. There is no logic, reasoning, understanding, or progress. It's almost as though I am speaking to someone who doesn't know English. The good news is that I stayed calm, didn't fight, didn't walk away,...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

I had a big discussion in the past with a therapist who I truly adored .. he is a man in his 70's who speaks my language .. LOL .. he's very easy to love and he reminded me how easy I am to love .. even if I did try to wear a cactus suit from time to time. I miss our talks a great deal. He kept using the word helpless w...

hotrod · hotrod

The ODA T reading for March 18 speaks about how living with the disease of alcoholism our thinking truly becomes distorted and we learn to place the responsibility for our problems on the alcoholic and on others. In Al-Anon we are learning to look squarely at each difficulty not trying to blame it on ot...

Sorcha · Sorcha

Hi all. So the alcoholic in my life is sober about a week after a 5 week vodka binge. As always, it took him to death's door before he was able to stop, but that's not what this post is about, I have got that I am powerless over the drinking. I just want to share what's been going on for me since he sobered up. Thi...

el-cee · el-cee

My reaction to disappointment is improving and im becoming better at recognising my distorted thought processes and being able to see my part. I do however need time to sit with it process it discuss it with my sponsor or another alanon person and tweek out the truth of it. If I dont get this time I can be c...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Good morning and happy St. Patrick's Day for those who celebrate! Today's reading starts by suggesting no problem lasts forever. No matter how it seems, this too shall pass. Difficult situations often bring out qualities we might not realize we have - courage, faith and need for help from others....

Iamhere · Iamhere

I made mention in the daily thread that today is my baby's birthday. He's now 23 years old. I had also mentioned that he was to come over for dinner. I did go about my day - meeting, grocery store, and then back home to cook. As it happens with us, I had a nudge most of last evening and a bit this morning abou...

Shorty77 · Shorty77

Last night my AH asked me if I had a sponsor yet? I've only been to one face to face meeating. I did call a woman I had met at the meeting in regards to what meetings she finds good. Just cause he found his sponsor the first couple of week, doesn't mean I wil. Part of me is like what's it any of your business? He is...

msjuliet · msjuliet

My entire life Ive clung to illusions that if I worked really hard, dreamed BIG, expected more of myself somehow I wouldnt end up like my family. For the last several years, my career and recovery have been my identity, not to mention the adversity Ive experienced in the midst, with the loss of the young...

lookingup · lookingup

Good morning Everybody,Beautiful Day it is, Im been wondering if mip online meetings have changed places? Or maybe slowed down due to xyz. or I'm just been missing them altogether,I dunno,plz if someone can fill me in,thank you so much in advance. reaching out with plenty of hugs ,smiles,I Love you...

Rickbrins · Rickbrins

Today is the second day of getting out and actually doing over night trips for work. I know it is easier with her still in her 90 day inpatient program, but this is just a reminder that I can do this and I can enjoy it. When she gets out next week, I will have a couple of weeks before I will have to do this again...

pumkin26 · pumkin26

So two days in a row. What struck me as I finally crawled out of my wallowing is that I think I am still sick, and I am definitely tired. So maybe that is why I've had two days of slipping right back to square 1. Tonight he wanted to see the boys (never me- yes it hurts, I am working on it) he comes over, plops down...

T_Puppington · T_Puppington

Hi everyone. I've been married to an alcoholic for 6.5 years It started to become a problem about 5.5 years ago when I got pregnant and my husband started ramping up his drinking. I don't think I can adequately convey the feelings disappointment and horror of coming home with a 6 month old in tow, seein...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

I have to laugh at myself I am finally feeling back to normal which I don't know good thing or not .. lol. It means I'm a whole lot more ornerier which sometimes is good and not so good in moments where my inappropriate humor comes flying through .. if I didn't have my horribly warped humor I wouldn't have m...

Curlyblu · Curlyblu

My A is trying/pretending not to have drinks. It's been almost 2 weeks now, and there has been one time that I'm 99.9% sure he had drinks before he came home. At home he doesn't....there's nothing in the house....he drank it all when he went on his full drunk that lasted days. I'm finding I don't know ho...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading discusses how hard it can be to see our progress in recovery. For those of us who have operated with high expectations, it's even more difficult. When we expect our negative attitudes and unhealthy behaviors to change fast and completely, we are going to be disappointed - progress...

Aerin · Aerin

Hi all, I'm back posting again. My ABF is now 7 months into AA. For the most part I would say he is doing very well. You can see how AA is helping. However, he has had quite a few slips, especially in the last month or so. He does jump right back into the program the next day. He use to go every day, but I kind...

pumkin26 · pumkin26

I am reeling right now. So instead of engaging and allowing my anger to bubble up and cause me to retaliate I am here, venting to you all. My AH has had the flu since the weekend. I posted earlier in the week, unsure if he was truly sick or not. I am still not sure. Might have had the flu, might actually be in wit...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

Today's page considers forgiveness...One member admitted seeing it before AlAnon as power, as a judgement passed down from a position of authority, a false display of grace intended to emphasize the other's wrong; publicly forgiving but never forgetting. A healthy perspective with the help of A...

Tannersmom · Tannersmom

I am so grateful that my HP sent me a bit of peace yesterday. It was a day of stress and drama. I prayed for his will; on my way home an eagle flew right over my car. Mind you I was in the city so sighting an eagle is very very rare. It flew low and I swear it looked at me . I was at peace, I knew right then an ther...

Bri58 · Bri58

My husband of 4 years has been an alcoholic for over 2 years now. It's such a long story but after dropping out of an impatient program he is in an iop now. We fight...... He gets nasty...... Fight in front of the kids..... Is controlling and overbearing. I coddle the kids and my ways are always wrong. I cou...

a4l · a4l

I don't always agree with society on this one. So, the kids and i remain safe and are doing our best to stay positive though the wordless anger hits me at times as we go through the system. It hits me and at the same time i mentally hit myself for being ungrateful. Lol. So my thoughts initially were, proba...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	I'm new, is this a place I can be brutally honest? (Preview) I'd like to find a place where I can talk about my relationship with my wife who is an alcoholic, she's been sober for 3 years. My issue is adult in nature, has to deal with the relationships my wife has made in AA. Have I come to the right place?	Husband	8	451	Mar 25, 2017 by Jerry F
	The family disease of alcoholism (Preview) I'm feeling hurt, my heart actually hurts. My co-dependent mother told me she doesn't want to see my 2 young children (ages 7 months and 2 years old) or me anymore because we caused her illness. Huh? Who says that? She has Parkinson's and suffers from the effects of alcoholism. I thought to myself, she'...	_bunny_	9	1116	Mar 25, 2017 by Iamhere
	Courage to Change (C2C) 3/24/17 (Preview) Today's reading talks about accepting Alcoholism as a disease. The writer had a difficult time seeing it as an illness and felt that if one really wanted to stop drinking then they would/could. A turning point was when a member of Al-Anon compared alcoholism to Alzheimer's disease. We see our lov...	Iamhere	7	435	Mar 25, 2017 by Iamhere
	Showing up (Preview) Today I'm doing my best in showing up, im doing better ,I think, although im mostly reading others shares here instead of shareing myself, im finding it hard either way ,rather it's showing up or shareing. im learning to just show up for events that I want to go to, land share when I feel I need to. im been g...	lookingup	7	1850	Mar 25, 2017 by lookingup
	No more chaos or Drama (Preview) Today marks the 4th month of no chaos or Drama in my home or around me , 1st time in my lifetime,it was a part of me ,never served me in anyway ,repeats of crises on going,along with lots of negative feelings ,lots of health problems coming on , i ended up with diverticulitis ,not fun,excrutiating pain of m...	lookingup	8	1042	Mar 25, 2017 by lookingup
	Let Go (Preview) This is a time in your life when you must learn to let go: of loved one, of possessions, of control. In order to let go of something that is precious to you, you need to rest in my presence, where you are complete. As you relax more and more, your grasping hand gradually opens up, releasing your prized poss...	Tannersmom	4	363	Mar 24, 2017 by Iamhere
	Being Left Happens Too (Preview) Shortly after finding Alanon, my alcoholic/addict husband left me. It felt devastating at the time and for a few years in my early recovery. I felt I was a bit like an anomally. So many in my f2f meetings were either still living with active alcoholics, sober ones or had chosen to leave the alcoholic. It...	tiredtonite	7	302	Mar 24, 2017 by bud
	PANIC/STRESS HEART PAIN (Preview) VERY SCARY FEW DAYS. ER TRIP/STRESS TEST/DOC VISIT. gUESS MY CALM AND SERENITY RAN OUT. DOC SAYS IM VERY STRESSED AND TRYING NEW MEDS. HE SAYS IM SCARED BECAUE IM 60 AND HAVE NO SAFETY NET. IM MOVING IN BOYFRIEND,S HOUSE, HAVE VERY LITTLE MONEY,UNEMPLOYED, OUT OF UNEMPLOYMENT,HAVE A WELFARE FOOD CARD...	YARNCRAZY	10	1675	Mar 24, 2017 by bud
	Not my Monkey, Not my Circus.... Betrayal Emotional Cheating Alcoholic abandonment (Preview) Hi.Im back! Ive been gone for awhile trying to re-adjust. Sorry for the lengthy post. Im just looking for some words of encouragement and suggestions. I have read a few post and they really resonated with me. I have been in a relationship with my now exAB for almost two years. Stuck by him continuou...	starcatcher2	6	5501	Mar 24, 2017 by starcatcher2
	THIS IS NEW TO ME (Preview) I finally am here and going to meetings because my son, who is a user, has brought me to a place I never thought I would be. I never thought I would be in a position where I am so angry and betrayed that he and I get into a physical altercation. He is a grown man and after that day, I realized I needed help from a gr...	bchan	6	2180	Mar 24, 2017 by _bunny_
	The heathier I get . . . (Preview) The more insanity I recognize around me. The latest episode was my mother. She took care of my son overnight and then drove him to ice cream (yum) and then back towards our house (about an hour away). It was nice, but then I found out from my 5yr old that the car seat wasn't buckled right. They couldn't ge...	Taraxacum	11	475	Mar 24, 2017 by Taraxacum
	Typing out loud (Preview) When you know the person behind the disease, I am finding it is making my choices very difficult. Maybe it is also not allowing me to grow within my program. Knowing I intelligence, the love this person has had for things that were important to them, he respect and gratitude shown for his employer the...	Curlyblu	3	236	Mar 23, 2017 by Curlyblu
	Need to vent.... (Preview) So far, I have been successfully (mostly) detaching; focusing on myself and the children and trying to celebrate the times my AH attends his AA meeting. As he is a non driver, I have given my evenings to ferrying him to and from various meetings. Tonight I just picked him up from his AA meeting and he i...	Bettertomorrow	9	433	Mar 23, 2017 by Jerry F
	Leaving is an option! (Preview) It isnt discussed much as an option especially to new people and I understand its because new people are deep in the disease and often haven't got the ration and clarity to make decisions that are right for them based on all the facts or reality. A lot of people get recovery and use the tools to stay with th...	el-cee	7	487	Mar 23, 2017 by Enigmatic
	Courage to Change (C2C) 3/23/17 (Preview) Today's reading shares about pain and suffering that results from this disease. For most of us, the disease has contributed to many dashed hopes, broken dreams and considerable pain. While we don't want to dwell on these events, we don't want to turn our back either. It is through the fellowship w...	Iamhere	5	2319	Mar 23, 2017 by shrnp
	First Post - total newbie (Preview) Hi everyone, I'm finally posting on this board because I have had a lot of difficulty attending in-person meetings - I'm hoping to have more childcare by the summer but waiting is starting to feel crazy - I have a two year old, and my H is an alcoholic. My mother is a recovered alcoholic and she has been in...	VickiR	7	363	Mar 23, 2017 by pumkin26
	Newbie ish .. (Preview) I stumbled upon this group a year ago when I was struggling to get to face to face meetings and it's been a blessing. I don't often post, but i regularly read and just hearing 'program speak 'is invaluable . i thought I would officially say hi . Ive had some years of peace due to how severe the drinking of m...	Faith40	3	216	Mar 23, 2017 by hotrod
	Awkward (Preview) My husband is in recovery - almost 8 months sober, but his situation was more complex. He was a hardcore binge drinker from age 15 - 24. He quit drinking cold turkey. He decided he'd like to drink again socially after almost 20 years, and started back up December of 2014, and he did great. He never dr...	Funkified	8	458	Mar 22, 2017 by Iamhere
	Struggling with knowing if Al-anon is for me (Preview) Hello my name is Heather and my husband is a newly recovering addict. I am the mama of two small children (hence my incredibly creative username) 2.5 year and 5 month old boys. My husband had a pill addition that he hid very well from me a year and it all came out right after the birth of our youngest son. We h...	mamabear2	16	620	Mar 22, 2017 by Funkified
	2 weeks and 3 days (Preview) AS has been working for 2 weeks and 3 days as of today. Living one day at a time. At this point he doesn't have a choice about going to work. He is being dropped off by his dad and picked up by my dad. Just like a little kid going to school. No car, that was totaled last summer. But today is good, he is working and h...	Tannersmom	4	374	Mar 22, 2017 by Cathyinaz
	Being too 'sensitive'/taking things personally (Preview) Has anyone else struggled with this concept? QTIP.....that's one of our Al Anon slogans and the one I struggle with the most! So, yesterday, I finally passed my huge general securities licensing exam. After failing twice, I still hung in there and got an 80% yesterday. I was ecstatic. I was so rea...	andromeda	16	2199	Mar 22, 2017 by likemyheart
	3-22-17 Courage to Change (Preview) Today's reading considers how living around alcoholism can lead to gradual changes within ourselves, including ignoring or suppressing feelings. We can end up losing our sense of self and drifting somewhere between muted and numb, hoping, waiting, fading... We may more easily recognize where o...	Enigmatic	5	440	Mar 22, 2017 by Iamhere
	Being Easy on Me... (Preview) Yesterday I felt myself wallowing in self-pity and martyrdom. I was in an out of staying present and wallowing. In my truth it was ME that was struggling and although I had certain triggers from my A, it was more me- feeling sorry for myself. I was lucky enough to know a friend at my first F2F meeting and sh...	pumkin26	7	452	Mar 22, 2017 by Iamhere
	It has started again (Preview) God grant me the serenity to except the things I can not change The courage to change the the things I can And the wisdom to know the difference. My son is back in a terrible place. He can't cope with life on Life's terms so he has 3 choices....sobriety, prison or death.	Cathyinaz	17	1441	Mar 22, 2017 by Cathyinaz
	Well, I'm Back (Preview) Hello All! I am where I thought I would never be again. On the Merry-go-round. Again. Even though I have a lot of venting to do, this post will be some history. Six years ago I found out my H was a meth addict. Fun. The 3 years prior was so hellish, that I was planning on leaving him with my then 10 year-old son....	PosiesandPuppies	8	474	Mar 21, 2017 by Jerry F
	Daily readings (Preview) I had gotten away from my readings of ctc and odat last several days,gotten myself way off center.im not perfect and won't be in this life I'm striving each day.i get sidetracked with other things like I get caught up with freinds shopping what not. guess I got a one track mind on one thing ,as I'm been bra...	lookingup	3	1991	Mar 21, 2017 by lookingup
	Resentment towards alcoholic parents (Preview) Hello everyone, I'm new to this board and so happy to have found you all. Started practicing the 12 steps again, after about a 10 year hiatus. I thought I could do it all on my own and forgot about the 12 steps. This left me with 10 years of uncovered anger, rage, resentment towards both parents (who are a...	Jubilantgirl	6	779	Mar 21, 2017 by shrnp
	Curious...what the signs/symptoms (Preview) Of someone trying to detox? My A is currently been out with a flu. He has medication for it....for some reason I started to wonder if his body was "trying" to detox. Yes I know he can not do it on his own. I'm just wondering because I know how much he normally drinks and hasn't had any in over a week. It has to be...	Curlyblu	16	2856	Mar 21, 2017 by Curlyblu
	The Goldilocks Zone (Preview) So I'm back with My Him. I expect this information to be met with deathly silence. Also this post is mostly about him. Sorry. My mother came to see me the other day and I told her. She was surprisingly not discouraging. She said, well, he obviously loves you Melissa, but he's uncontrollable. But you love...	MissM	15	562	Mar 21, 2017 by likemyheart
	Hope for Today March 21 (Preview) Good morning everyone-- Today's reading is about how powerful our attitude is and where it can take us. Many of us gravitate toward the familiar, which depending on our circumstances, may not always be the healthiest for us. Any of us that either grew up in an alcoholic family, married into one, or ha...	yanksfan51	5	393	Mar 21, 2017 by Stan1
	Letting go of anger to start a new day (Preview) It is 3:15 am. I woke up and immediately started replaying scenes from a family gathering yesterday which made/make me so angry. So, I have been reciting the serenity prayer like a mantra along with steps 1-3. I know I can't carry this into tomorrow, as it will be a new day. AH's siblings were over yest...	El	8	428	Mar 21, 2017 by sunmustshine
	Needing to vent.....might sound petty....still learning to deal (Preview) Frustrating! Living with an active A, is to, say the least, and polietly, frustrating. I try so hard to practice the pause, before I say things I normally would. Even when he is dry, I pause before I respond to something completely stupid he has said. Like last night, we had been having a decent conversa...	Curlyblu	10	413	Mar 20, 2017 by Curlyblu
	3/20/17 Courage to Change (Preview) Today's reading focuses on the spiritual nature of our Higher Power (HP). We are encouraged to choose a HP of our own understanding, a god as we are familiar with or simply a program concept. What gives it power as a spiritual concept is our willingness to humbly acknowledge something greater and more...	Enigmatic	3	354	Mar 20, 2017 by Iamhere
	ODAT 3-19-2017 (Preview) The ODA T reading for March 19 speaks about living one day at a time. It points out that Al-Anon is a 24 hour programso that by living in this manner we receive the comfort and assurance that we need in the moment and in the day and do not burden ourselves with the woes of the past or worries of the fut...	hotrod	3	532	Mar 20, 2017 by Iamhere
	Today I have hope (Preview) Today I am cleaning our house and preparing for my loves release from her 90 day program. I have hope and trust in both my HP and hers that she will return home in a much better state than when she left. I want great things for us both, I want that future that looked so bright years ago but seemed impossible on...	Rickbrins	5	371	Mar 20, 2017 by Iamhere
	Pink Cloud? (Preview) Ok, so I clearly have had far too much time to myself in that dangerous section of my mind.... I have been very happy, my AGF has been in her 90 day inpatient program and appears to be doing very well, Her release date is tentatively scheduled for Monday (More about that later) and I am thrilled that she...	Rickbrins	8	2229	Mar 20, 2017 by Iamhere
	Enough (Preview) This is my first time here. My husband is a high functioning alcoholic. He admits it but won't get help. We've been married almost 7 years and he's been this way for 4 1/2. We have two children and I try my hardest to keep them shielded but they're getting old enough to notice. I'm so fed up I don't know what t...	Isthisreallife	5	411	Mar 19, 2017 by hotrod
	not really sure where to start (Preview) Greetings. Not really sure where to start. Husband of 19 years is an alcoholic. Hides it well, most of our friends don't have a clue....at least I don't think they do. Things have worsened as of late. We have 2 kids. I'm so tired of being "on guard" all the time and getting that sick-in-the-pit-of...	laketime	8	448	Mar 19, 2017 by Rickbrins
	Talking to an A (Preview) About two hours ago, I had the most ridiculous , circular, and unproductive discussion with my A. There is no logic, reasoning, understanding, or progress. It's almost as though I am speaking to someone who doesn't know English. The good news is that I stayed calm, didn't fight, didn't walk away,...	Lyne	5	405	Mar 19, 2017 by Rickbrins
	Powerless vs Helplessness (Preview) I had a big discussion in the past with a therapist who I truly adored .. he is a man in his 70's who speaks my language .. LOL .. he's very easy to love and he reminded me how easy I am to love .. even if I did try to wear a cactus suit from time to time. I miss our talks a great deal. He kept using the word helpless w...	SerenityRUS	6	3580	Mar 19, 2017 by Jerry F
	ODAT reading for 3-18-2017 (Preview) The ODA T reading for March 18 speaks about how living with the disease of alcoholism our thinking truly becomes distorted and we learn to place the responsibility for our problems on the alcoholic and on others. In Al-Anon we are learning to look squarely at each difficulty not trying to blame it on ot...	hotrod	1	333	Mar 18, 2017 by Iamhere
	Intimacy issues! (Preview) Hi all. So the alcoholic in my life is sober about a week after a 5 week vodka binge. As always, it took him to death's door before he was able to stop, but that's not what this post is about, I have got that I am powerless over the drinking. I just want to share what's been going on for me since he sobered up. Thi...	Sorcha	9	503	Mar 18, 2017 by Rickbrins
	Expectations are premeditated resentments (Preview) My reaction to disappointment is improving and im becoming better at recognising my distorted thought processes and being able to see my part. I do however need time to sit with it process it discuss it with my sponsor or another alanon person and tweek out the truth of it. If I dont get this time I can be c...	el-cee	8	1148	Mar 17, 2017 by MissM
	Courage to Change (C2C) 3/17/17 (Preview) Good morning and happy St. Patrick's Day for those who celebrate! Today's reading starts by suggesting no problem lasts forever. No matter how it seems, this too shall pass. Difficult situations often bring out qualities we might not realize we have - courage, faith and need for help from others....	Iamhere	7	258	Mar 17, 2017 by Iamhere
	The Birthday Dinner that Wasn't (Preview) I made mention in the daily thread that today is my baby's birthday. He's now 23 years old. I had also mentioned that he was to come over for dinner. I did go about my day - meeting, grocery store, and then back home to cook. As it happens with us, I had a nudge most of last evening and a bit this morning abou...	Iamhere	23	693	Mar 17, 2017 by Iamhere
	Sponsor (Preview) Last night my AH asked me if I had a sponsor yet? I've only been to one face to face meeating. I did call a woman I had met at the meeting in regards to what meetings she finds good. Just cause he found his sponsor the first couple of week, doesn't mean I wil. Part of me is like what's it any of your business? He is...	Shorty77	4	382	Mar 17, 2017 by SerenityRUS
	Let it begin with me! (Preview) My entire life Ive clung to illusions that if I worked really hard, dreamed BIG, expected more of myself somehow I wouldnt end up like my family. For the last several years, my career and recovery have been my identity, not to mention the adversity Ive experienced in the midst, with the loss of the young...	msjuliet	3	461	Mar 17, 2017 by Rickbrins
	Meetings (Preview) Good morning Everybody,Beautiful Day it is, Im been wondering if mip online meetings have changed places? Or maybe slowed down due to xyz. or I'm just been missing them altogether,I dunno,plz if someone can fill me in,thank you so much in advance. reaching out with plenty of hugs ,smiles,I Love you...	lookingup	2	341	Mar 17, 2017 by lookingup
	Trial run, day 2 (Preview) Today is the second day of getting out and actually doing over night trips for work. I know it is easier with her still in her 90 day inpatient program, but this is just a reminder that I can do this and I can enjoy it. When she gets out next week, I will have a couple of weeks before I will have to do this again...	Rickbrins	6	373	Mar 17, 2017 by Iamhere
	feeling powerless and unmanageable (Preview) So two days in a row. What struck me as I finally crawled out of my wallowing is that I think I am still sick, and I am definitely tired. So maybe that is why I've had two days of slipping right back to square 1. Tonight he wanted to see the boys (never me- yes it hurts, I am working on it) he comes over, plops down...	pumkin26	6	1871	Mar 17, 2017 by Iamhere
	Difficulties in detaching Functioning alcoholic children detachment (Preview) Hi everyone. I've been married to an alcoholic for 6.5 years It started to become a problem about 5.5 years ago when I got pregnant and my husband started ramping up his drinking. I don't think I can adequately convey the feelings disappointment and horror of coming home with a 6 month old in tow, seein...	T_Puppington	9	5947	Mar 16, 2017 by Jerry F
	Today is not the day .. (Preview) I have to laugh at myself I am finally feeling back to normal which I don't know good thing or not .. lol. It means I'm a whole lot more ornerier which sometimes is good and not so good in moments where my inappropriate humor comes flying through .. if I didn't have my horribly warped humor I wouldn't have m...	SerenityRUS	2	352	Mar 16, 2017 by Iamhere
	This is an odd feeling.... (Preview) My A is trying/pretending not to have drinks. It's been almost 2 weeks now, and there has been one time that I'm 99.9% sure he had drinks before he came home. At home he doesn't....there's nothing in the house....he drank it all when he went on his full drunk that lasted days. I'm finding I don't know ho...	Curlyblu	17	529	Mar 16, 2017 by SerenityRUS
	Courage to Change (C2C) 3/16/17 (Preview) Today's reading discusses how hard it can be to see our progress in recovery. For those of us who have operated with high expectations, it's even more difficult. When we expect our negative attitudes and unhealthy behaviors to change fast and completely, we are going to be disappointed - progress...	Iamhere	2	812	Mar 16, 2017 by El
	QUESTION FOR ALCOHOLICS (Preview) Hi all, I'm back posting again. My ABF is now 7 months into AA. For the most part I would say he is doing very well. You can see how AA is helping. However, he has had quite a few slips, especially in the last month or so. He does jump right back into the program the next day. He use to go every day, but I kind...	Aerin	11	499	Mar 16, 2017 by a4l
	back into the insanity I go (Preview) I am reeling right now. So instead of engaging and allowing my anger to bubble up and cause me to retaliate I am here, venting to you all. My AH has had the flu since the weekend. I posted earlier in the week, unsure if he was truly sick or not. I am still not sure. Might have had the flu, might actually be in wit...	pumkin26	9	526	Mar 16, 2017 by a4l
	3/15/17 Courage to Change (Preview) Today's page considers forgiveness...One member admitted seeing it before AlAnon as power, as a judgement passed down from a position of authority, a false display of grace intended to emphasize the other's wrong; publicly forgiving but never forgetting. A healthy perspective with the help of A...	Enigmatic	10	416	Mar 15, 2017 by hotrod
	An eagle (Preview) I am so grateful that my HP sent me a bit of peace yesterday. It was a day of stress and drama. I prayed for his will; on my way home an eagle flew right over my car. Mind you I was in the city so sighting an eagle is very very rare. It flew low and I swear it looked at me . I was at peace, I knew right then an ther...	Tannersmom	4	406	Mar 15, 2017 by Iamhere
	Please help I'm so lost and confused (Preview) My husband of 4 years has been an alcoholic for over 2 years now. It's such a long story but after dropping out of an impatient program he is in an iop now. We fight...... He gets nasty...... Fight in front of the kids..... Is controlling and overbearing. I coddle the kids and my ways are always wrong. I cou...	Bri58	16	404	Mar 15, 2017 by Iamhere
	to child support or not to child support (Preview) I don't always agree with society on this one. So, the kids and i remain safe and are doing our best to stay positive though the wordless anger hits me at times as we go through the system. It hits me and at the same time i mentally hit myself for being ungrateful. Lol. So my thoughts initially were, proba...	a4l	5	387	Mar 15, 2017 by 2HP
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