The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
So nice to meet u ;) I am an adult child of an alchoholic mother. I am struggling. I have some sort of mental health condition in which they dont know what it is yet , maybe bipolar. All I know is that I have great trepidation and fear before going to work in the morning. I cry each morning and spend time with God in prayer sharing my fears. This does seem to help. But some days when Im at work, I just cant WAIT to get out! I feel terrible about it, like I should want to be there, etc. because I work with people. I am a professional I should feel differently and want to read all about my profession on my day off. But the truth is I don't want to, im not interested. I get buy on the job, but I don't have a lot of confidence if the truth be known. I don't have much ambition. Psych meds have made me put on weight and well, just feeling down. Ive been to alnon groups a few times and they do seem to help. They are a good place to be in, the atmosphere is peaceful. I always pray in the morning and say easy does it, first things first, etc. The slogans. But sometimes even with all my prep, like today I have a crappy day. But then it reminds me of the fact that I have to let a power greater than myself care for me. I am not in control of the outcome of my day, my overwhelming fears, and even my mood. Of course I try the best I can, get up early, have coffee, pray as hard as I can. But some days, like today, Im just not feeling it. Please pray for me. I know iv'e let me artistic side go dormant while the professional side has taken over my life. I have no excuse, i only work part time, but for some reason I just dont do my art anymore. But my greatest problem is just feeling bad about feeling bad about work. Thanks for listening ;)
Welcome to MIP Jessica - glad you found us and glad that you are here! The disease of alcoholism affects many who are friends or family and often we don't even know how affected we are.....if possible, I do suggest you go to as many meetings as you can - they do bring about peace and also give each of us a support group of locals to call when we are feeling 'left of center'...
I also know for me that as I worked the steps of the program, each one brought about a bit more peace in my mind and helped me align my heart and brain. I always felt a bit of a disconnect between doing what I should and feeling sorry for me or others. I had to work the steps to get right-sized and right minded in my own recovery.
Please keep coming back and know that you are not alone! There is hope and help in recovery!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Welcome Jessica Thank you for sharing with such honesty. I assure you that you are not alone and that here is help and hope.
Glad that you have found alanon meetings and have experienced the benefits. Alcoholism is a dreadful disease that severely affects the family of the person who drinks as well as the drinker. Alanon meetings and tools have been developed to address these negative affects. Recovery is a process. I found that by working the Steps with a sponsor and using the slogans, I was able to let go of the pain of the past and begin to embrace each new day.
Glad you found MIP and Alanon meetings. You are definitely not alone with these feelings. Some days are better than others for all of us. I'm sorry things are not going as you'd like at work. My experience has been that when I get to meetings every week it really makes a difference in how I feel during the week. Also reading the Alanon literature in between my meetings helps a lot too as well as calling my Alanon sponsor. I do like sharing at this board too but sometimes I need that in person contact with others in the Alanon meetings so I can get a much needed hug, smile or hear their recovery. I like to give those to others too. When things aren't going as well as I'd like in my own life, it's a good feeling to know I can give a hug or smile to someone who is having a hard time too. It absolutely helps me feel less alone. We do have online meetings at this site and they are worthwhile too. It's hard to live with someone who is drinking.
It's great that you have artistic talent and even better that acknowledge that you are an artist. I admire you for that. I tended to dismiss my talents when I was new to Alanon. I couldn't see the my gifts that others saw and own them as special and unique to me. I hope you'll keep sharing here with us and that tomorrow is a better day for you. (((hugs))) TT
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Surround yourself with people and elements that support your destiny, not just your history.
