The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
The ODA T for March 26 asks the question, why is it so hard to admit that were powerless over alcohol as the first step requires?
The reading indicates that many of us argue,the question does it mean powerless over alcohol or over the alcoholic. The reading points out that we should understand that we are powerless over both-- no one can control the alcoholic's or alcoholism . We do have a power derived from God and that is the power to change our own lives.
Acceptance does not mean submission to a downgrading situation. It means accepting the facts of the situation and then deciding what we will we do about it. We make progress in Al-Anon when we stop trying to control the uncontrollable and when we go on to correct what we have the right to change
The quote is from Celebra Tueli: " fighting futility is just a waste of energy. Samantha, either do something or quit fretting"
Thanks to the Steps, HP and Al-Anon, I now understand what to do in most situations, I'm no longer "reacting" in- appropriately but acting after I THINK it through . I have learned that powerless does not mean helpless and acceptance does not mean defeat and that Progress not perfection is what counts.
It's an interesting wording. I tend to mentally re-word it to powerless over others, or powerless over my own defects as the case demands. Powerless over my own defects I found so enormously helpful; instead of trying to force myself to change (which took endless effort and never worked), realising I was powerless over the defect in question and asking for help with it seemed to create really amazing changes. So too, realising that I am powerless over the actions of others (and/or their ability to control themselves) has indeed given me the freedom to make actual effective and positive changes.
How crazy to think that before, I believed that I could somehow find a way to control myself to behave in some magical perfect way that would so effectively control my partner that he would find a way to control himself. Good grief. What a lot of wasted energy and time
Such a transformative concept, this powerless business has been for me.
Thanks for the reminder, Betty
Thanks for your observations Ms.M. I do believe that I thought that I was always right as well as all powerful. It is so freeing to simply concentrate on myself and accept powerlessness over people. places and things.
I had a super busy, crazy day yesterday - so am 'a day late'.....never a dollar short - eh? Thank you Betty for your service, ESH and the daily...
I like when we discuss powerlessness and even more so when we agree that we are powerless over people, places and things. This reminds me that all I can really change is me - how I act, react, think, etc. I am 100% accountable and responsible for my own peace, joy and actions and learning through recovery what's mine and what's not mine has really, really helped with powerlessness.
Have a marvelous Monday - I've been resting, cleaning, etc. after meeting, golf, birthday party, softball and grand-babies sleepover yesterday - whew - no wonder I never made it here and I am tired!! (((hugs)))
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
