Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

jadebear · jadebear

Hi everyone. I was searching things online and happened to end up here reading posts and then remembered I used to be a member here.It's amazing I was able to log in still.It's showing I have zero posts since joining in 2010 and I'm not sure if I had posts and they were removed or archived or if I never poste...

RosieGinger · RosieGinger

RosieMemberAfter 5 years of marriage, 'social' cocaine use seems to be more solitary crack use now and husband still says it's not a big deal...not every day.After our baby's 1st baby I hit my wall...and gave him ultimatum, left the house with baby and threatened divorce...hoping that walking away...

rachaelb · rachaelb

Hi, My name is Rachael and I am 26 years old. My boyfriend is a meth addict. I am incredibly torn about what I should be doing with this man. We have been together for about a year and a half. He has been one of my best friends since we were kids so I feel like our long relationship has made this situation even h...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

So I am really struggling with the idea that my oldest is off to college in 4 months and in no way have I prepared her for the real world .. and what I mean by that is I want to download ALL of my street smarts NOW so she doesn't have to learn the hard way. I have way more life experience than she needs, .. I just wa...

Sorcha · Sorcha

Just a little funny bit to share. I was talking to my 14 year old daughter, (who is thankfully, so far, showing no signs of inheriting the 'anxious to please gene'), the other week about what she sees going on in some of the friendships around her. You know, people, mostly girls, of course, turning thems...

MissM · MissM

There is a particular situation in my life that causes me terrible angst and distress, and has historically ended in self-destructive decisions and extremely poor self care. Basically a person that I cut out of my life a long time ago (with good reason) makes sporadic attempts to re-connect and my us...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

I'm really dealing with a lot of acceptance and my will of I don't wanna at the moment. I am in fight mode .. not sure why I have felt off this past week .. which usually indicates some kind of rabbit hole of growth. Sometimes I hate being Alice as I never feel like I know where I will wind up .. will I chase the...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning everyone- Today's reading speaks to the perceptions we have of reality if we have been affected by alcoholism. There is mention of how the writer did not feel there was any 'alternative way of looking at life'-- this phrase got my brain going with several directions: I thought about how...

el-cee · el-cee

Do you ever get tired of fighting the shortcomings? Honestly, I'm sick and tired of recurring resentments that I seem to actively look for. Im sick of my negative thought processes still dominating at times. Ive made so much progress and Ive changed so much but I'm not sure if its the perfectionist in m...

deacon · deacon

It has been almost a year now since we set our adult son and his wife free to live their own lives. They had been living with and off of us for a long time and were quite comfortable expecting all the comforts they want while he waited for the 'perfect' job to come along. A long time in which we became emotiona...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

In today's page, one member was asked to fill in this blank: "If only ____ would happen, I would be happy." What would we put in? Qualifier stopped drinking? Work, boss, family, finances better? Perhaps they would...but the page suggests we are putting our happiness on hold if we expect it to arrive on...

WestMan · WestMan

I made my first desperate post on here months ago and was encouraged to get to a meeting. I meant to but with my schedule it was easy to put it off. I'm finally to the point where my head is about to fall off from stress, anxiety and anger. I'm probably depressed too. Can't fall asleep. Routine conflicts at w...

Jayla · Jayla

I am just stuck with 1 particular situation in my life with my AH and that is how he stays out late after work drinking every single night. The hours are getting longer too. He's sitting at his workplace drinking with his friends between 3-5 hours a night and often finds some excuse to go drink with them ev...

KT2015 · KT2015

I've been having more moments of serenity lately and I am so grateful to my HP for them. Last week my AH and I had a discussion where I spoke my truth. I felt so clear about our situation. I asked my HP for help and I got it. I just said to my AH "this isn't working and I don't want to continue on like this anym...

SaraLin · SaraLin

My on/off alcoholic partner is very dishonest when it comes to alcohol. He's always pinching drinks from me - I have caught him many, many times. I used to get angry, now I just try and set boundaries and minimise the opportunity for it to happen. Lately he has disclosed some things that he has done tha...

hotrod · hotrod

Update re donations: There will be a slight delay in establishing The "Donation buttons". In the mean time donations can be made directly by going to PayPal.com and send to Kennyfenderjazz@gmail.com. No need to wait for the buttons to be installed

Sorcha · Sorcha

Hi all. Where do I begin? Well my alcoholic partner has been dry again for about 6 weeks and things were going ok for a while. That seems to be the usual pattern, a bit of a honeymoon period, maybe he's just relieved he's still alive or relieved he still has a partner after the binge or whatever, I'm not sure...

hotrod · hotrod

Step 5 has been posted to the Step Work Board Learn How The Twelve Steps Work.Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by being active on this board as we go through the 12 Steps of recovery together!Please join in and share your thoughts Here is the link http://stepwork....

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

It's been quite a week and I can't find my C2C book so I thought I would read from One Day at a Time. Today' reading is about Selfish Vs Selfness and it can be applied to how we live our lives and participate in the program. I love the old adage you get back what you give to others. That is so true for me and m...

MissM · MissM

Today's c2c reading discusses the after-effects of growing up around (or living with) constant criticism and fear- the guilt and shame become exaggerated and can be so out of proportion that minor mistakes, even years in the past can surface and plunge us into an ashamed, guilty, state. But we can le...

vvv · vvv

I have finally cut off communication with my ExABf. However, he does have my work number (thankfully I'm self-employed so I don't have to deal with my employer) and will call that number, I do ignore it and do not answer. However, has anyone ever experienced scary behavior from your qualifier when you...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

My poor BF called me totally upset .. he was at a grocery store and some young gal tried to say that he hit her car while parking and just left it .. as in he left his big truck parked on her little car .. LOL. There was no real damage to her car if he hit her with his truck the side paneling would have been GONE. N...

Junenine · Junenine

my relationship has been in a state of quiet crisis for some time. my partner had an extended relapse for about 3 years. we live in my place. he's sober now about 5 months. over time, my patience has been pushed to my limits and my faith (in him/us) has been compromised. my ABF/fiance knows it. we are at a ne...

WorkingThroughIt · WorkingThroughIt

Well hello, all. sometimes I don't know when I'll learn. yesterday my neighbor moved out of her apt. Now, I know what ive seen with her...no judgment, I simply knew who she was. Right after she left, I got a text message from her accusing me of siphoning electricity from her outlet in the basement and...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Having a wild week - here's today's thoughts from the Courage to Change... Today's reminder --- Anything and everything about me can be used for my good. If I feel insecure or frightened today, I will remember that my fear is a signal that there is something or me to learn. Today's quote from As We Unde...

jenn6 · jenn6

Good evening i am needing advice; my husband was in rehab mid Sept - mid Nov. was amazing when he returned home.... then started going bad, stopped attending meetings, soon i discovered he was grabbing a beer or two in way home from work. causing tension as his guilt eating him up as he knows its upsettin...

a4l · a4l

This is something that has become an interesting boundary for me. Interesting because as a concept its been foreign, having been mostly surrounded by alcoholism. Over the last two years, it's become an asset and more recently a boundary. When people are giving of their time, I feel good about being o...

andromeda · andromeda

I know that, in reality, I'm not losing my kid to addiction or to depression.....but, I feel like he's more disconnected from me now than he used to be. He was my sidekick for so many years and because of his separation anxiety, he was never comfortable being away from me. Once the divorce happened 2.5...

Skorpi · Skorpi

Lately I have been struggling with trying to keep my focus on myself and letting AW do her own thing and manage her own recovery in her own way, and feeling ... I'm not sure. Almost betrayed by the choices AW is making in her recovery. I let her move back in with the understanding that she would work full tim...

newly wed 2015 · newly wed 2015

This is my first attempt at getting some sort of support. I am married to an alcoholic. We've been together for 7 years and married for 2 of those years. In fact we just celebrated our 2nd wedding anniversary. He was a drinker when I met him and in fact we used to really enjoying drinking together. I know w...

PosiesandPuppies · PosiesandPuppies

I posted in another thread that my AH had a panic attack last night, and while massaging his shoulders trying to calm him down, I saw the shape of a vodka bottle in his pocket. Long story short, i told him why bother lying about it, we all know what it is. Once I was sure that it was indeed a panic attack and not...

El · El

I am so sorry to not be able to credit who included TOAST in one of the posts here not too long ago. I believe it stands for "Turn it Over And Stop Talking." This has been my most recent go to slogan. It really has helped me to let go and not make a situation worse by commenting with my opinion all the time. ...

Aowen76 · Aowen76

My husband comes out of his 14 day rehab program tomarrow. He is already asking me when he will get to drive our daughter aground again. I'm not comfortable with allowing him to drive her anywhere any time soon because he has been drunk driving for years and this is the very first time he has ever gone int...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

I am tattling on myself .. lol. Truly I am grateful for the Alanon program because what I say and think are two totally different things. I'm sure if you are on facebook going around at the moment is the little thing about the texting where it's he says .. then she says .. and there's a lot of deleting and u...

hotrod · hotrod

The ODA T reading for April 27 speaks about the time when the alcoholic finally finds sobriety and our reaction to it. The reading suggests that we must withdraw from being the dominant role that we obtained while the alcoholic was drinking . The reading asks will we try to cooperate with this mira...

Helpangel · Helpangel

Went to my therapist today and I thought this may help someone. My ah related again and is two weeks sober this time his moods are hyper sensitive and he has episode of whatever a lot lately. Example is I got a text from him with graphic picture of dog poop, yep dog poop. I ignored it and just drover home. As I...

Godsdaughter · Godsdaughter

This last couple weeks my AH has gone back to drinking more so than normal in the last 2 months. He has withdrawn from attending family functions and just wants to stay home all the time. I know it's so he can drink and not feel guilty. Honestly my meetings to Al-anon have been helping more and more that I go...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning everyone- Today's reading is about the parts that introspection and meditation play in recovery. Looking inward and assessing our own behaviors and actions-- awareness. Being accountable for what we discover about ourselves-- acceptance. Praying for guidance so that we may wo...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

Today's page carries the important reminder that in AlAnon, everything about our program is suggested, not required. We are free to "Take what we like, and leave the rest." We can choose slogans, steps, higher power, or what works for other members at our own pace or not at all. We can customize indiv...

Charlotte22 · Charlotte22

hi Everyone, I have been struggling with the dark night of the soul after a separation and my alcoholic father passed away (he was 86)> i realize in therapy and through the steps that I did not have available caretakers and I have very low self esteem although i was very successful in many areas of my...

Trying2heal · Trying2heal

My AH has been an alcoholic our entire marriage and has definitely progressed the past few years, he has rarely strung more than a few months of sobriety together and goes out on bingers for what used to be weeks is now months. In the past 2 years, he has spent a cumulative 2 months at home, only 10 days in...

runi · runi

hi my friends, i am feeling very discouraged, overwhelmed, confused. praying for clarity for far too long. turning / turned 'things' over to my higher power a long time ago and continue to today. don't see answers. the disease is so powerful and affects so many. and progressive.................

kate39 · kate39

I asked my AH to leave 2 years ago after he became very ill - delusional, paranoid, aggressive. He's since spent a year at rehab and now lives alone in a flat near to me and the children spend every weekend with him. They know they don't have to go if they don't want to but would actually rather be with their d...

runi · runi

i was at a meeting today and someone was talking about 'toxic' people and having no tolerance for them and getting away from them. dealing with addictive behaviors how and when do you know the difference. what is the difference between the 'disease ' and 'toxic' .... i don't want to be around toxi...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

Hi Gang!! Love you all and just want to let you know my feelings right now. I'm getting better every day. I'm going to go visit my sister this weekend and let some balloons go. Yep that's what I want to do......over the Colorado River. I have to get Will's belongings this afternoon and I'm sure that's no...

Bayley · Bayley

My son pushed his father past his limit tonight. My husband said no more. My son has been an alcoholic/drug abuser for many years. He is very antagonistic toward his father; almost blaming him for any issues in his life. we pushed him into a 4 week rehab about a year ago. He was using the day after he got hom...

TryingToHoldOn · TryingToHoldOn

Found an Al anon group here in my neighborhood. My husband just walked out on me. Im scared that he would get himself into trouble drinking in a bar. Haven't contacted the Al anon here... Too scared that my husband would make a scene if he finds out. I married a wonderful person. But it changes right away o...

el-cee · el-cee

Wow. This program blows me away. I've recently been led to awareness acceptance and I'm filled with such hope right now. There is a flawed human on the fringes of my life who is the figure of hate resentment and anger by a large group of people and my close friend is one of them. I've mostly stayed out of co...

mamaboo2 · mamaboo2

Well at long last, here I am! I have been married to an alcoholic for 20 years. He was an alcoholic when I met him in College but just thought it was how all college guys were and assumed he would grow out of ir. Iguess my eyes were really opened about 10 years into our marriage. Finally noticing the hidden bo...

churchlady62 · churchlady62

HELP. My daughter is psychotic and was admitted to a mental unit yesterday for attacking her son and me and the mental ward is going to let her out and she is going to hitch hike to Colorado for tomorrow's marijuana holiday of 4/20 and I don't know what to do anymore. She is detached from reality and cros...

Mama86 · Mama86

Does it ever stop? I just want to live a normal life with my son. I dont want to be yelled at for not believing him. And then that be the reason it pushs me away so i dont want to see or hear him. But then my AH blame me for his drinking bc my son and I are not around. Its not fair i have to be the one spending all this m...

LoveNHope · LoveNHope

Hello, I am trying to refrain/detach and not get angry and ask my A about "when its it gonna stop". He is not having success in the weaning process and he does not want to be drinking. This relapse has been a month and a couple days now. Our 1st baby is due in 27 days or less, time is running out. My mom and o...

PosiesandPuppies · PosiesandPuppies

Due to Al-Anon, I have been able to live with my active AH. I don't want to, but I cannot support myself and my teen son by myself, so I embrace whatever I can so that I can focus on me and not my AH. I have known him to be "dry-drunk," clean, and lately, what I call secret drinking. Drinking just enough to get hi...

MeTwo2 · MeTwo2

when I try to attend meetings the display on my computer settings must be ? off ? or something .. I can't see whose in the room .. the list . it's cut off on my end because page is too big .. not sure at all what to do .. wondering if anyone has had this experience and can help ? would be very grateful ..

Freetime · Freetime

Although I've been active in Al-Anon for a couple of years and my life is fairly serene now, I'm amazed that I keep getting new insights. I wanted to share my latest one with this wonderful forum. I was just reading an article about various approaches to treating alcohol use disorder. The article had...

VickiR · VickiR

For those of you that remember my AH has been really out of control lately. I made it to my first F2F meeting this week which was great. Kind of a weird experience for me but positive and I will go back. This week he spent more on our (my credit card) and took more money out of our joint account. I am taking th...

LoveNHope · LoveNHope

Hi there, My partner had a relapse almost a month ago, and I am due to have our first child in 4 weeks (or less). What was supposed to be the happiest time in our lives, has been a shit show. Things got ugly last week, I had to call the police on him and then I stayed at his mother's house. She and her husband a...

Serenity58 · Serenity58

My big sister died. Het body finally succoming to a lifetime of alohol abuse. She died alone with her family not knowing until days after....We knew it would end badly and I'd grieved for a sober big sis so many times. I sincerely thought, because of years of grief, the loss of her would not be so painful...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

Today gives us a strong page that looks at the heart of how the program worked for one member. Finding AlAnon is compared to stepping into a "bright new world" where they saw that it is by changing ourselves that we drop the resentment, anger and fear that chokes us. Changes included first stopping judg...

andromeda · andromeda

My first sponsor used to say, whenever I was in crisis mode, to just 'do the next right thing'. And, for me, sometimes that meant 'do nothing' or do the dishes, or fold the laundry, or whatever it was that was the next thing to do. I would get out of control and vent like crazy and go on and on about how I was w...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Stop Taking It Personally (Preview) Hi everyone. I was searching things online and happened to end up here reading posts and then remembered I used to be a member here.It's amazing I was able to log in still.It's showing I have zero posts since joining in 2010 and I'm not sure if I had posts and they were removed or archived or if I never poste...	jadebear	8	1645	May 3, 2017 by Iamhere
	Need wisdom and experience of other Al-Anon members who have walked away (Preview) RosieMemberAfter 5 years of marriage, 'social' cocaine use seems to be more solitary crack use now and husband still says it's not a big deal...not every day.After our baby's 1st baby I hit my wall...and gave him ultimatum, left the house with baby and threatened divorce...hoping that walking away...	RosieGinger	2	538	May 3, 2017 by RosieGinger
	My boyfriend is a meth addict and I am miserable. (Preview) Hi, My name is Rachael and I am 26 years old. My boyfriend is a meth addict. I am incredibly torn about what I should be doing with this man. We have been together for about a year and a half. He has been one of my best friends since we were kids so I feel like our long relationship has made this situation even h...	rachaelb	7	1284	May 3, 2017 by PosiesandPuppies
	Opening conversation about drinking and what that means .. (Preview) So I am really struggling with the idea that my oldest is off to college in 4 months and in no way have I prepared her for the real world .. and what I mean by that is I want to download ALL of my street smarts NOW so she doesn't have to learn the hard way. I have way more life experience than she needs, .. I just wa...	SerenityRUS	4	498	May 2, 2017 by andromeda
	Some light relief (Preview) Just a little funny bit to share. I was talking to my 14 year old daughter, (who is thankfully, so far, showing no signs of inheriting the 'anxious to please gene'), the other week about what she sees going on in some of the friendships around her. You know, people, mostly girls, of course, turning thems...	Sorcha	3	442	May 2, 2017 by hotrod
	Invisible Progress. (Preview) There is a particular situation in my life that causes me terrible angst and distress, and has historically ended in self-destructive decisions and extremely poor self care. Basically a person that I cut out of my life a long time ago (with good reason) makes sporadic attempts to re-connect and my us...	MissM	3	415	May 2, 2017 by rachaelb
	Acceptance .. (Preview) I'm really dealing with a lot of acceptance and my will of I don't wanna at the moment. I am in fight mode .. not sure why I have felt off this past week .. which usually indicates some kind of rabbit hole of growth. Sometimes I hate being Alice as I never feel like I know where I will wind up .. will I chase the...	SerenityRUS	4	509	May 2, 2017 by SerenityRUS
	Hope for Today May 2 (Preview) Good morning everyone- Today's reading speaks to the perceptions we have of reality if we have been affected by alcoholism. There is mention of how the writer did not feel there was any 'alternative way of looking at life'-- this phrase got my brain going with several directions: I thought about how...	yanksfan51	4	426	May 2, 2017 by Iamhere
	Tired of this disease in me (Preview) Do you ever get tired of fighting the shortcomings? Honestly, I'm sick and tired of recurring resentments that I seem to actively look for. Im sick of my negative thought processes still dominating at times. Ive made so much progress and Ive changed so much but I'm not sure if its the perfectionist in m...	el-cee	16	683	May 2, 2017 by Cathyinaz
	I just don't know (Preview) It has been almost a year now since we set our adult son and his wife free to live their own lives. They had been living with and off of us for a long time and were quite comfortable expecting all the comforts they want while he waited for the 'perfect' job to come along. A long time in which we became emotiona...	deacon	12	623	May 1, 2017 by deacon
	5/1/17 Courage to Change “If only ___” (Preview) In today's page, one member was asked to fill in this blank: "If only ____ would happen, I would be happy." What would we put in? Qualifier stopped drinking? Work, boss, family, finances better? Perhaps they would...but the page suggests we are putting our happiness on hold if we expect it to arrive on...	Enigmatic	10	733	May 1, 2017 by Enigmatic
	First Meeting (Preview) I made my first desperate post on here months ago and was encouraged to get to a meeting. I meant to but with my schedule it was easy to put it off. I'm finally to the point where my head is about to fall off from stress, anxiety and anger. I'm probably depressed too. Can't fall asleep. Routine conflicts at w...	WestMan	5	521	May 1, 2017 by shrnp
	Stuck (Preview) I am just stuck with 1 particular situation in my life with my AH and that is how he stays out late after work drinking every single night. The hours are getting longer too. He's sitting at his workplace drinking with his friends between 3-5 hours a night and often finds some excuse to go drink with them ev...	Jayla	11	698	May 1, 2017 by Jayla
	moments of serenity (Preview) I've been having more moments of serenity lately and I am so grateful to my HP for them. Last week my AH and I had a discussion where I spoke my truth. I felt so clear about our situation. I asked my HP for help and I got it. I just said to my AH "this isn't working and I don't want to continue on like this anym...	KT2015	6	535	May 1, 2017 by KT2015
	Dishonest when comes to drinking (Preview) My on/off alcoholic partner is very dishonest when it comes to alcohol. He's always pinching drinks from me - I have caught him many, many times. I used to get angry, now I just try and set boundaries and minimise the opportunity for it to happen. Lately he has disclosed some things that he has done tha...	SaraLin	5	503	May 1, 2017 by _bunny_
	Donation update (Preview) Update re donations: There will be a slight delay in establishing The "Donation buttons". In the mean time donations can be made directly by going to PayPal.com and send to Kennyfenderjazz@gmail.com. No need to wait for the buttons to be installed	hotrod	0	428	May 1, 2017 by hotrod
	Here we go again (Preview) Hi all. Where do I begin? Well my alcoholic partner has been dry again for about 6 weeks and things were going ok for a while. That seems to be the usual pattern, a bit of a honeymoon period, maybe he's just relieved he's still alive or relieved he still has a partner after the binge or whatever, I'm not sure...	Sorcha	16	475	May 1, 2017 by Iamhere
	Step 5 Posted (Preview) Step 5 has been posted to the Step Work Board Learn How The Twelve Steps Work.Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by being active on this board as we go through the 12 Steps of recovery together!Please join in and share your thoughts Here is the link http://stepwork....	hotrod	1	325	May 1, 2017 by Iamhere
	Today's Reading ODAT April 30 (Preview) It's been quite a week and I can't find my C2C book so I thought I would read from One Day at a Time. Today' reading is about Selfish Vs Selfness and it can be applied to how we live our lives and participate in the program. I love the old adage you get back what you give to others. That is so true for me and m...	SerenityRUS	5	542	Apr 30, 2017 by hotrod
	Courage To Change 29/04 (Preview) Today's c2c reading discusses the after-effects of growing up around (or living with) constant criticism and fear- the guilt and shame become exaggerated and can be so out of proportion that minor mistakes, even years in the past can surface and plunge us into an ashamed, guilty, state. But we can le...	MissM	6	547	Apr 30, 2017 by MissM
	Stopped Communication...has anyone ever dealt with this? (Preview) I have finally cut off communication with my ExABf. However, he does have my work number (thankfully I'm self-employed so I don't have to deal with my employer) and will call that number, I do ignore it and do not answer. However, has anyone ever experienced scary behavior from your qualifier when you...	vvv	8	571	Apr 29, 2017 by vvv
	OT - Some people .. (Preview) My poor BF called me totally upset .. he was at a grocery store and some young gal tried to say that he hit her car while parking and just left it .. as in he left his big truck parked on her little car .. LOL. There was no real damage to her car if he hit her with his truck the side paneling would have been GONE. N...	SerenityRUS	3	456	Apr 29, 2017 by SerenityRUS
	clarity v confusion (Preview) my relationship has been in a state of quiet crisis for some time. my partner had an extended relapse for about 3 years. we live in my place. he's sober now about 5 months. over time, my patience has been pushed to my limits and my faith (in him/us) has been compromised. my ABF/fiance knows it. we are at a ne...	Junenine	10	597	Apr 29, 2017 by Junenine
	Blind Spots (Preview) Well hello, all. sometimes I don't know when I'll learn. yesterday my neighbor moved out of her apt. Now, I know what ive seen with her...no judgment, I simply knew who she was. Right after she left, I got a text message from her accusing me of siphoning electricity from her outlet in the basement and...	WorkingThroughIt	3	540	Apr 29, 2017 by WorkingThroughIt
	Courage to Change (C2C) 4/28/17 (Preview) Having a wild week - here's today's thoughts from the Courage to Change... Today's reminder --- Anything and everything about me can be used for my good. If I feel insecure or frightened today, I will remember that my fear is a signal that there is something or me to learn. Today's quote from As We Unde...	Iamhere	2	424	Apr 28, 2017 by Enigmatic
	Relapse (Preview) Good evening i am needing advice; my husband was in rehab mid Sept - mid Nov. was amazing when he returned home.... then started going bad, stopped attending meetings, soon i discovered he was grabbing a beer or two in way home from work. causing tension as his guilt eating him up as he knows its upsettin...	jenn6	4	500	Apr 28, 2017 by _bunny_
	respecting peoples time. (Preview) This is something that has become an interesting boundary for me. Interesting because as a concept its been foreign, having been mostly surrounded by alcoholism. Over the last two years, it's become an asset and more recently a boundary. When people are giving of their time, I feel good about being o...	a4l	5	523	Apr 28, 2017 by shrnp
	Feel like I'm losing my son (Preview) I know that, in reality, I'm not losing my kid to addiction or to depression.....but, I feel like he's more disconnected from me now than he used to be. He was my sidekick for so many years and because of his separation anxiety, he was never comfortable being away from me. Once the divorce happened 2.5...	andromeda	9	640	Apr 28, 2017 by Cathyinaz
	Trying to keep my focus on myself (Preview) Lately I have been struggling with trying to keep my focus on myself and letting AW do her own thing and manage her own recovery in her own way, and feeling ... I'm not sure. Almost betrayed by the choices AW is making in her recovery. I let her move back in with the understanding that she would work full tim...	Skorpi	9	588	Apr 28, 2017 by Iamhere
	Struggling (Preview) This is my first attempt at getting some sort of support. I am married to an alcoholic. We've been together for 7 years and married for 2 of those years. In fact we just celebrated our 2nd wedding anniversary. He was a drinker when I met him and in fact we used to really enjoying drinking together. I know w...	newly wed 2015	4	568	Apr 28, 2017 by Enigmatic
	Wondering what do I do now? (Preview) I posted in another thread that my AH had a panic attack last night, and while massaging his shoulders trying to calm him down, I saw the shape of a vodka bottle in his pocket. Long story short, i told him why bother lying about it, we all know what it is. Once I was sure that it was indeed a panic attack and not...	PosiesandPuppies	14	685	Apr 28, 2017 by Junenine
	TOAST (Preview) I am so sorry to not be able to credit who included TOAST in one of the posts here not too long ago. I believe it stands for "Turn it Over And Stop Talking." This has been my most recent go to slogan. It really has helped me to let go and not make a situation worse by commenting with my opinion all the time. ...	El	7	529	Apr 28, 2017 by El
	Earning trust back after finishing rehab (Preview) My husband comes out of his 14 day rehab program tomarrow. He is already asking me when he will get to drive our daughter aground again. I'm not comfortable with allowing him to drive her anywhere any time soon because he has been drunk driving for years and this is the very first time he has ever gone int...	Aowen76	22	3300	Apr 27, 2017 by Bo
	A funny .. (Preview) I am tattling on myself .. lol. Truly I am grateful for the Alanon program because what I say and think are two totally different things. I'm sure if you are on facebook going around at the moment is the little thing about the texting where it's he says .. then she says .. and there's a lot of deleting and u...	SerenityRUS	2	465	Apr 27, 2017 by Iamhere
	ODAT Reading 4-27-2017 (Preview) The ODA T reading for April 27 speaks about the time when the alcoholic finally finds sobriety and our reaction to it. The reading suggests that we must withdraw from being the dominant role that we obtained while the alcoholic was drinking . The reading asks will we try to cooperate with this mira...	hotrod	2	479	Apr 27, 2017 by Stan1
	I am not responsible for the way he acts! (Preview) Went to my therapist today and I thought this may help someone. My ah related again and is two weeks sober this time his moods are hyper sensitive and he has episode of whatever a lot lately. Example is I got a text from him with graphic picture of dog poop, yep dog poop. I ignored it and just drover home. As I...	Helpangel	9	616	Apr 27, 2017 by Iamhere
	Divorce or Not-Leaving it in God's hands... (Preview) This last couple weeks my AH has gone back to drinking more so than normal in the last 2 months. He has withdrawn from attending family functions and just wants to stay home all the time. I know it's so he can drink and not feel guilty. Honestly my meetings to Al-anon have been helping more and more that I go...	Godsdaughter	13	821	Apr 27, 2017 by Iamhere
	Hope for Today Apr 25 (Preview) Good morning everyone- Today's reading is about the parts that introspection and meditation play in recovery. Looking inward and assessing our own behaviors and actions-- awareness. Being accountable for what we discover about ourselves-- acceptance. Praying for guidance so that we may wo...	yanksfan51	4	548	Apr 27, 2017 by DavidG
	4/26/17 C2C - "Take What You Like, ..." (Preview) Today's page carries the important reminder that in AlAnon, everything about our program is suggested, not required. We are free to "Take what we like, and leave the rest." We can choose slogans, steps, higher power, or what works for other members at our own pace or not at all. We can customize indiv...	Enigmatic	6	774	Apr 26, 2017 by hotrod
	Self Esteem Building in Al Anon (Preview) hi Everyone, I have been struggling with the dark night of the soul after a separation and my alcoholic father passed away (he was 86)> i realize in therapy and through the steps that I did not have available caretakers and I have very low self esteem although i was very successful in many areas of my...	Charlotte22	2	500	Apr 26, 2017 by hotrod
	Repeated Infidelity, feeling very alone and hurt (Preview) My AH has been an alcoholic our entire marriage and has definitely progressed the past few years, he has rarely strung more than a few months of sobriety together and goes out on bingers for what used to be weeks is now months. In the past 2 years, he has spent a cumulative 2 months at home, only 10 days in...	Trying2heal	8	2450	Apr 26, 2017 by Iamhere
	discouraged, overwhelmed, confused (Preview) hi my friends, i am feeling very discouraged, overwhelmed, confused. praying for clarity for far too long. turning / turned 'things' over to my higher power a long time ago and continue to today. don't see answers. the disease is so powerful and affects so many. and progressive.................	runi	4	588	Apr 26, 2017 by Jerry F
	Coping with impact on children (Preview) I asked my AH to leave 2 years ago after he became very ill - delusional, paranoid, aggressive. He's since spent a year at rehab and now lives alone in a flat near to me and the children spend every weekend with him. They know they don't have to go if they don't want to but would actually rather be with their d...	kate39	6	567	Apr 26, 2017 by Jerry F
	What is toxic (Preview) i was at a meeting today and someone was talking about 'toxic' people and having no tolerance for them and getting away from them. dealing with addictive behaviors how and when do you know the difference. what is the difference between the 'disease ' and 'toxic' .... i don't want to be around toxi...	runi	7	755	Apr 26, 2017 by Iamhere
	Another Day (Preview) Hi Gang!! Love you all and just want to let you know my feelings right now. I'm getting better every day. I'm going to go visit my sister this weekend and let some balloons go. Yep that's what I want to do......over the Colorado River. I have to get Will's belongings this afternoon and I'm sure that's no...	Cathyinaz	5	484	Apr 26, 2017 by Iamhere
	Crisis 2 (Preview) My son pushed his father past his limit tonight. My husband said no more. My son has been an alcoholic/drug abuser for many years. He is very antagonistic toward his father; almost blaming him for any issues in his life. we pushed him into a 4 week rehab about a year ago. He was using the day after he got hom...	Bayley	12	736	Apr 26, 2017 by Bayley
	Hello needing help (Preview) Found an Al anon group here in my neighborhood. My husband just walked out on me. Im scared that he would get himself into trouble drinking in a bar. Haven't contacted the Al anon here... Too scared that my husband would make a scene if he finds out. I married a wonderful person. But it changes right away o...	TryingToHoldOn	8	593	Apr 25, 2017 by TryingToHoldOn
	Spiritual awakening!!! (Preview) Wow. This program blows me away. I've recently been led to awareness acceptance and I'm filled with such hope right now. There is a flawed human on the fringes of my life who is the figure of hate resentment and anger by a large group of people and my close friend is one of them. I've mostly stayed out of co...	el-cee	17	692	Apr 25, 2017 by 2HP
	New to this, I don't want my daughters to become alcoholics, here I am... (Preview) Well at long last, here I am! I have been married to an alcoholic for 20 years. He was an alcoholic when I met him in College but just thought it was how all college guys were and assumed he would grow out of ir. Iguess my eyes were really opened about 10 years into our marriage. Finally noticing the hidden bo...	mamaboo2	3	525	Apr 25, 2017 by a4l
	crisis (Preview) HELP. My daughter is psychotic and was admitted to a mental unit yesterday for attacking her son and me and the mental ward is going to let her out and she is going to hitch hike to Colorado for tomorrow's marijuana holiday of 4/20 and I don't know what to do anymore. She is detached from reality and cros...	churchlady62	11	933	Apr 25, 2017 by Cathyinaz
	Does it get easier? (Preview) Does it ever stop? I just want to live a normal life with my son. I dont want to be yelled at for not believing him. And then that be the reason it pushs me away so i dont want to see or hear him. But then my AH blame me for his drinking bc my son and I are not around. Its not fair i have to be the one spending all this m...	Mama86	7	542	Apr 25, 2017 by Enigmatic
	Trying to refrain/detach- don't know how to talk to my A (Preview) Hello, I am trying to refrain/detach and not get angry and ask my A about "when its it gonna stop". He is not having success in the weaning process and he does not want to be drinking. This relapse has been a month and a couple days now. Our 1st baby is due in 27 days or less, time is running out. My mom and o...	LoveNHope	9	693	Apr 25, 2017 by Iamhere
	Need your ESH (Preview) Due to Al-Anon, I have been able to live with my active AH. I don't want to, but I cannot support myself and my teen son by myself, so I embrace whatever I can so that I can focus on me and not my AH. I have known him to be "dry-drunk," clean, and lately, what I call secret drinking. Drinking just enough to get hi...	PosiesandPuppies	18	734	Apr 25, 2017 by Iamhere
	does anyone know how to resize meeting site page on forum on their computer .. (Preview) when I try to attend meetings the display on my computer settings must be ? off ? or something .. I can't see whose in the room .. the list . it's cut off on my end because page is too big .. not sure at all what to do .. wondering if anyone has had this experience and can help ? would be very grateful ..	MeTwo2	3	432	Apr 24, 2017 by MeTwo2
	Why our program works (Preview) Although I've been active in Al-Anon for a couple of years and my life is fairly serene now, I'm amazed that I keep getting new insights. I wanted to share my latest one with this wonderful forum. I was just reading an article about various approaches to treating alcohol use disorder. The article had...	Freetime	5	530	Apr 24, 2017 by 2HP
	Venting/update (Preview) For those of you that remember my AH has been really out of control lately. I made it to my first F2F meeting this week which was great. Kind of a weird experience for me but positive and I will go back. This week he spent more on our (my credit card) and took more money out of our joint account. I am taking th...	VickiR	3	462	Apr 24, 2017 by KennyFenderjazz
	Need support, devastated (Preview) Hi there, My partner had a relapse almost a month ago, and I am due to have our first child in 4 weeks (or less). What was supposed to be the happiest time in our lives, has been a shit show. Things got ugly last week, I had to call the police on him and then I stayed at his mother's house. She and her husband a...	LoveNHope	18	728	Apr 24, 2017 by Lee51
	Death of my alcoholc (Preview) My big sister died. Het body finally succoming to a lifetime of alohol abuse. She died alone with her family not knowing until days after....We knew it would end badly and I'd grieved for a sober big sis so many times. I sincerely thought, because of years of grief, the loss of her would not be so painful...	Serenity58	13	855	Apr 24, 2017 by Jill
	4/24/17 One Day at a Time in AlAnon (ODAT) (Preview) Today gives us a strong page that looks at the heart of how the program worked for one member. Finding AlAnon is compared to stepping into a "bright new world" where they saw that it is by changing ourselves that we drop the resentment, anger and fear that chokes us. Changes included first stopping judg...	Enigmatic	5	723	Apr 24, 2017 by MissM
	Doing the next right thing (Preview) My first sponsor used to say, whenever I was in crisis mode, to just 'do the next right thing'. And, for me, sometimes that meant 'do nothing' or do the dishes, or fold the laundry, or whatever it was that was the next thing to do. I would get out of control and vent like crazy and go on and on about how I was w...	andromeda	7	1144	Apr 23, 2017 by Bo
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.