Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Sus · Sus

I did it again.. I went back to my addict ex expecting a different outcome. Things were great for four months and BOOM, he exploded over nothing and blamed it all on me. What is wrong with me continually returning to the scene of the crime?

el-cee · el-cee

Ive heard people say to let the feelings flow and pass. What does that mean? For me, I can let the feelings dominate me and grow and then Im confused and any action I take in this mode is usually a disaster. Ive learned to 'Stop' and 'Think' and I am aware that my feelings are in charge and rational thought i...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

One thing about this program that has REALLY come out in my own behavior is how I like to fix, manage and control situations that are seriously NONE OF MY BUSINESS. This was one of those lessons that open AA meetings served me better than Alanon meetings .. sometimes my brain relates better to those mee...

_bunny_ · _bunny_

What are the most helpful/brilliant/enlightening/encourageing words your sponsor has shared with you?

Iamhere · Iamhere

Good morning MIP family - happy Friday!! Today's reading in Courage to Change is about humility. It suggests many of us were taught from an early age to place the wants and needs of others ahead of our own. This taught us to equate humility with taking care of others and ignoring our own feelings and ne...

a4l · a4l

One of the sharpest blades of alcoholism both mine and others, is embarrassment. I know we can't control others, but how exactly do you avoid being tarred with the same brush as loved ones? I've had a lifetime of defending sick alcoholics and I'm done with it now. How do you brush off the gossipers? Wit...

a4l · a4l

I'm 35 and have cut off all of my family of origin. There are a few who I am in occasional contact with, and I love all of them, even the ones I know I will never let back in not even minutely. Its a very sick family in the affected by alcoholism sense. So for some members, the only boundary understood is No Entr...

Ladybug8 · Ladybug8

Hi all, thank you for listening. I went to one meeting several months ago but I'm really struggling. A conversation with my husband today made me see that he still doesn't seem to think his drinking is a problem, and when I tell him I feel we're growing more and more emotionally distant and I can't see us c...

tiredtonite · tiredtonite

I've chosen to end this relationship. It didn't go well. I realize I need a new sponsor and perspective. I have seen changes in my sponsor in the last few years that were very unsettling. I hesitate to reach out to her. She got rather ugly with me and that was when I said enough finally. She's been my sponso...

Habari76 · Habari76

Hello all, I've been lurking around here for a month or so, and have gained so much comfort and peace from just checking in every few days and reading all the feedback & shares...... I've also been to a F2F meeting every week for a month now and wow - what a difference. I'm not sure what it is exactly (an...

WestMan · WestMan

I think I'm realizing more how the alcoholism in my extended family has impacted my life more than I realized. I had actually considered attending Al-Anon years ago because a few things were stuck in my craw in regards to these relatives. But at the time life was looking up, I had plenty of excuses to mai...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's daily reading is about finding ourselves through recovery. The reading suggests that Recovery is a wonderful word - it means getting something back. When we align with the program and work the 12 Steps, what we actually get back is ourselves - something wonderful in recovery is returned....

starcatcher2 · starcatcher2

Hello Everyone, Just a question about DUI's. My exAB got another DUI a week ago, apparently this is like the 7th one ( I would say within 10 years). I don't know the time frame, but I do know he's had 2 in 2 years. I've tried googling questions about DUI's and what the possible outcome could be. I'...

losinghopeny · losinghopeny

Hi there. I'm a first time poster. I have been to 2 Al-Anon meetings, one of which was very small, 3 people, myself, and a close friend that has been in AA for 4 years. The second meeting was about 40 people and felt very rushed with people not respecting the speakers as they were given their limited time of...

Aerin · Aerin

ABF has been going to AA 8 months now.. missing some meetings here and there. Has not been drinking anywhere close to how he drank a year ago. It is obvious he understands he is an alcoholic and has made many improvements. But I notice he is starting to drink just one day a week now. (he justifies it with a sl...

VickiR · VickiR

For those of you that have followed my posts, my husband has been pretty out of control with his drinking for close to two years (shortly after the birth of our daughter) - we have had flare ups with his drinking before that but nothing this severe and he was able to pull back. This past stint has lasted si...

tealfighter · tealfighter

It has been 3 months since I have spoke to him. I can not believe how much I miss him. I honestly feel that the pain will never go away. That I will never feel like I belong. Not like I do with him. Now I know how rediculous and emotional this sounds. I am jusy trying to work through all of this mess.

Turbos02 · Turbos02

Hi Can you tell me a little about spontaneous recovery from heroin addiction? I'm so confused.Always thought opioid addicts needed treatment or some type of recovery support system like AA or NA in order to maintain long-term sobriety. I have a niece who was a heroin addict for three years and says...

kdawg · kdawg

I'm grateful I found this room, and I intend to also get to some local meetings as my life is being affected by my alcoholic, and perhaps bipolar, brother who is 46. This is the second time in his life that he is homeless and is the process of divorce and custody of his daughter who just turned 4. For the last...

YARNCRAZY · YARNCRAZY

ive been away from the board while in transit to my new home which belongs to my boyfriend. he has never had a girlfriend live with him. he is a total packrat and ive been busy cleaning and sorting just to feel comfortable here. we have had a few spats but ive used alot of alanon tools. i got my disability so n...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

Today's page provides insight on an important AlAnon tool, detachment. This is not a cold and heartless weapon to be used against someone else, but in fact demonstrates love and respect for them. The writer notes how intervening and "protecting" from what we fear might be a painful experience can ac...

Suburban Denizen · Suburban Denizen

Good morning, everyone. I've not been here in a bit - my life is, ummm, complicated (and really, really challenging) right now,. The saving grace is Al-Anon and the network and support it brings me. Don't know if I'd be functioning without it. I have been asked to run an Al-Anon "Workshop" at a weekend A...

jenk · jenk

Hi, i am very new to all of this my younger sister is an A and it had gotten pretty bad the first of the year, another seizure this one at work so i had heard that a local hospital had a rehab center and they could not turn you away if you didn't have insurance so she did a 3 day in house then some AA and mandatory SA...

jadebear · jadebear

Hi everyone. I was searching things online and happened to end up here reading posts and then remembered I used to be a member here.It's amazing I was able to log in still.It's showing I have zero posts since joining in 2010 and I'm not sure if I had posts and they were removed or archived or if I never poste...

RosieGinger · RosieGinger

RosieMemberAfter 5 years of marriage, 'social' cocaine use seems to be more solitary crack use now and husband still says it's not a big deal...not every day.After our baby's 1st baby I hit my wall...and gave him ultimatum, left the house with baby and threatened divorce...hoping that walking away...

rachaelb · rachaelb

Hi, My name is Rachael and I am 26 years old. My boyfriend is a meth addict. I am incredibly torn about what I should be doing with this man. We have been together for about a year and a half. He has been one of my best friends since we were kids so I feel like our long relationship has made this situation even h...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

So I am really struggling with the idea that my oldest is off to college in 4 months and in no way have I prepared her for the real world .. and what I mean by that is I want to download ALL of my street smarts NOW so she doesn't have to learn the hard way. I have way more life experience than she needs, .. I just wa...

Sorcha · Sorcha

Just a little funny bit to share. I was talking to my 14 year old daughter, (who is thankfully, so far, showing no signs of inheriting the 'anxious to please gene'), the other week about what she sees going on in some of the friendships around her. You know, people, mostly girls, of course, turning thems...

MissM · MissM

There is a particular situation in my life that causes me terrible angst and distress, and has historically ended in self-destructive decisions and extremely poor self care. Basically a person that I cut out of my life a long time ago (with good reason) makes sporadic attempts to re-connect and my us...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

I'm really dealing with a lot of acceptance and my will of I don't wanna at the moment. I am in fight mode .. not sure why I have felt off this past week .. which usually indicates some kind of rabbit hole of growth. Sometimes I hate being Alice as I never feel like I know where I will wind up .. will I chase the...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning everyone- Today's reading speaks to the perceptions we have of reality if we have been affected by alcoholism. There is mention of how the writer did not feel there was any 'alternative way of looking at life'-- this phrase got my brain going with several directions: I thought about how...

el-cee · el-cee

Do you ever get tired of fighting the shortcomings? Honestly, I'm sick and tired of recurring resentments that I seem to actively look for. Im sick of my negative thought processes still dominating at times. Ive made so much progress and Ive changed so much but I'm not sure if its the perfectionist in m...

deacon · deacon

It has been almost a year now since we set our adult son and his wife free to live their own lives. They had been living with and off of us for a long time and were quite comfortable expecting all the comforts they want while he waited for the 'perfect' job to come along. A long time in which we became emotiona...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

In today's page, one member was asked to fill in this blank: "If only ____ would happen, I would be happy." What would we put in? Qualifier stopped drinking? Work, boss, family, finances better? Perhaps they would...but the page suggests we are putting our happiness on hold if we expect it to arrive on...

WestMan · WestMan

I made my first desperate post on here months ago and was encouraged to get to a meeting. I meant to but with my schedule it was easy to put it off. I'm finally to the point where my head is about to fall off from stress, anxiety and anger. I'm probably depressed too. Can't fall asleep. Routine conflicts at w...

Jayla · Jayla

I am just stuck with 1 particular situation in my life with my AH and that is how he stays out late after work drinking every single night. The hours are getting longer too. He's sitting at his workplace drinking with his friends between 3-5 hours a night and often finds some excuse to go drink with them ev...

KT2015 · KT2015

I've been having more moments of serenity lately and I am so grateful to my HP for them. Last week my AH and I had a discussion where I spoke my truth. I felt so clear about our situation. I asked my HP for help and I got it. I just said to my AH "this isn't working and I don't want to continue on like this anym...

SaraLin · SaraLin

My on/off alcoholic partner is very dishonest when it comes to alcohol. He's always pinching drinks from me - I have caught him many, many times. I used to get angry, now I just try and set boundaries and minimise the opportunity for it to happen. Lately he has disclosed some things that he has done tha...

hotrod · hotrod

Update re donations: There will be a slight delay in establishing The "Donation buttons". In the mean time donations can be made directly by going to PayPal.com and send to Kennyfenderjazz@gmail.com. No need to wait for the buttons to be installed

Sorcha · Sorcha

Hi all. Where do I begin? Well my alcoholic partner has been dry again for about 6 weeks and things were going ok for a while. That seems to be the usual pattern, a bit of a honeymoon period, maybe he's just relieved he's still alive or relieved he still has a partner after the binge or whatever, I'm not sure...

hotrod · hotrod

Step 5 has been posted to the Step Work Board Learn How The Twelve Steps Work.Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by being active on this board as we go through the 12 Steps of recovery together!Please join in and share your thoughts Here is the link http://stepwork....

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

It's been quite a week and I can't find my C2C book so I thought I would read from One Day at a Time. Today' reading is about Selfish Vs Selfness and it can be applied to how we live our lives and participate in the program. I love the old adage you get back what you give to others. That is so true for me and m...

MissM · MissM

Today's c2c reading discusses the after-effects of growing up around (or living with) constant criticism and fear- the guilt and shame become exaggerated and can be so out of proportion that minor mistakes, even years in the past can surface and plunge us into an ashamed, guilty, state. But we can le...

vvv · vvv

I have finally cut off communication with my ExABf. However, he does have my work number (thankfully I'm self-employed so I don't have to deal with my employer) and will call that number, I do ignore it and do not answer. However, has anyone ever experienced scary behavior from your qualifier when you...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

My poor BF called me totally upset .. he was at a grocery store and some young gal tried to say that he hit her car while parking and just left it .. as in he left his big truck parked on her little car .. LOL. There was no real damage to her car if he hit her with his truck the side paneling would have been GONE. N...

Junenine · Junenine

my relationship has been in a state of quiet crisis for some time. my partner had an extended relapse for about 3 years. we live in my place. he's sober now about 5 months. over time, my patience has been pushed to my limits and my faith (in him/us) has been compromised. my ABF/fiance knows it. we are at a ne...

WorkingThroughIt · WorkingThroughIt

Well hello, all. sometimes I don't know when I'll learn. yesterday my neighbor moved out of her apt. Now, I know what ive seen with her...no judgment, I simply knew who she was. Right after she left, I got a text message from her accusing me of siphoning electricity from her outlet in the basement and...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Having a wild week - here's today's thoughts from the Courage to Change... Today's reminder --- Anything and everything about me can be used for my good. If I feel insecure or frightened today, I will remember that my fear is a signal that there is something or me to learn. Today's quote from As We Unde...

jenn6 · jenn6

Good evening i am needing advice; my husband was in rehab mid Sept - mid Nov. was amazing when he returned home.... then started going bad, stopped attending meetings, soon i discovered he was grabbing a beer or two in way home from work. causing tension as his guilt eating him up as he knows its upsettin...

a4l · a4l

This is something that has become an interesting boundary for me. Interesting because as a concept its been foreign, having been mostly surrounded by alcoholism. Over the last two years, it's become an asset and more recently a boundary. When people are giving of their time, I feel good about being o...

andromeda · andromeda

I know that, in reality, I'm not losing my kid to addiction or to depression.....but, I feel like he's more disconnected from me now than he used to be. He was my sidekick for so many years and because of his separation anxiety, he was never comfortable being away from me. Once the divorce happened 2.5...

Skorpi · Skorpi

Lately I have been struggling with trying to keep my focus on myself and letting AW do her own thing and manage her own recovery in her own way, and feeling ... I'm not sure. Almost betrayed by the choices AW is making in her recovery. I let her move back in with the understanding that she would work full tim...

newly wed 2015 · newly wed 2015

This is my first attempt at getting some sort of support. I am married to an alcoholic. We've been together for 7 years and married for 2 of those years. In fact we just celebrated our 2nd wedding anniversary. He was a drinker when I met him and in fact we used to really enjoying drinking together. I know w...

PosiesandPuppies · PosiesandPuppies

I posted in another thread that my AH had a panic attack last night, and while massaging his shoulders trying to calm him down, I saw the shape of a vodka bottle in his pocket. Long story short, i told him why bother lying about it, we all know what it is. Once I was sure that it was indeed a panic attack and not...

El · El

I am so sorry to not be able to credit who included TOAST in one of the posts here not too long ago. I believe it stands for "Turn it Over And Stop Talking." This has been my most recent go to slogan. It really has helped me to let go and not make a situation worse by commenting with my opinion all the time. ...

Aowen76 · Aowen76

My husband comes out of his 14 day rehab program tomarrow. He is already asking me when he will get to drive our daughter aground again. I'm not comfortable with allowing him to drive her anywhere any time soon because he has been drunk driving for years and this is the very first time he has ever gone int...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

I am tattling on myself .. lol. Truly I am grateful for the Alanon program because what I say and think are two totally different things. I'm sure if you are on facebook going around at the moment is the little thing about the texting where it's he says .. then she says .. and there's a lot of deleting and u...

hotrod · hotrod

The ODA T reading for April 27 speaks about the time when the alcoholic finally finds sobriety and our reaction to it. The reading suggests that we must withdraw from being the dominant role that we obtained while the alcoholic was drinking . The reading asks will we try to cooperate with this mira...

Helpangel · Helpangel

Went to my therapist today and I thought this may help someone. My ah related again and is two weeks sober this time his moods are hyper sensitive and he has episode of whatever a lot lately. Example is I got a text from him with graphic picture of dog poop, yep dog poop. I ignored it and just drover home. As I...

Godsdaughter · Godsdaughter

This last couple weeks my AH has gone back to drinking more so than normal in the last 2 months. He has withdrawn from attending family functions and just wants to stay home all the time. I know it's so he can drink and not feel guilty. Honestly my meetings to Al-anon have been helping more and more that I go...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	I did it again.... (Preview) I did it again.. I went back to my addict ex expecting a different outcome. Things were great for four months and BOOM, he exploded over nothing and blamed it all on me. What is wrong with me continually returning to the scene of the crime?	Sus	21	540	May 6, 2017 by Sus
	How do you do 'feelings?' (Preview) Ive heard people say to let the feelings flow and pass. What does that mean? For me, I can let the feelings dominate me and grow and then Im confused and any action I take in this mode is usually a disaster. Ive learned to 'Stop' and 'Think' and I am aware that my feelings are in charge and rational thought i...	el-cee	11	752	May 5, 2017 by Cathyinaz
	I'm a bonifide meddler .. (Preview) One thing about this program that has REALLY come out in my own behavior is how I like to fix, manage and control situations that are seriously NONE OF MY BUSINESS. This was one of those lessons that open AA meetings served me better than Alanon meetings .. sometimes my brain relates better to those mee...	SerenityRUS	2	596	May 5, 2017 by el-cee
	Sponsor Share (Preview) What are the most helpful/brilliant/enlightening/encourageing words your sponsor has shared with you?	_bunny_	7	525	May 5, 2017 by el-cee
	Courage to Change (C2C) 5/5/17 (Preview) Good morning MIP family - happy Friday!! Today's reading in Courage to Change is about humility. It suggests many of us were taught from an early age to place the wants and needs of others ahead of our own. This taught us to equate humility with taking care of others and ignoring our own feelings and ne...	Iamhere	3	515	May 5, 2017 by hotrod
	Overcoming embarrassment. (Preview) One of the sharpest blades of alcoholism both mine and others, is embarrassment. I know we can't control others, but how exactly do you avoid being tarred with the same brush as loved ones? I've had a lifetime of defending sick alcoholics and I'm done with it now. How do you brush off the gossipers? Wit...	a4l	6	2567	May 5, 2017 by a4l
	relationships with alcoholic family members (Preview) I'm 35 and have cut off all of my family of origin. There are a few who I am in occasional contact with, and I love all of them, even the ones I know I will never let back in not even minutely. Its a very sick family in the affected by alcoholism sense. So for some members, the only boundary understood is No Entr...	a4l	7	580	May 4, 2017 by a4l
	New (Preview) Hi all, thank you for listening. I went to one meeting several months ago but I'm really struggling. A conversation with my husband today made me see that he still doesn't seem to think his drinking is a problem, and when I tell him I feel we're growing more and more emotionally distant and I can't see us c...	Ladybug8	5	524	May 4, 2017 by Stan1
	Leaving Sponsor (Preview) I've chosen to end this relationship. It didn't go well. I realize I need a new sponsor and perspective. I have seen changes in my sponsor in the last few years that were very unsettling. I hesitate to reach out to her. She got rather ugly with me and that was when I said enough finally. She's been my sponso...	tiredtonite	11	1372	May 4, 2017 by tiredtonite
	Can I skip being new? (Preview) Hello all, I've been lurking around here for a month or so, and have gained so much comfort and peace from just checking in every few days and reading all the feedback & shares...... I've also been to a F2F meeting every week for a month now and wow - what a difference. I'm not sure what it is exactly (an...	Habari76	4	405	May 4, 2017 by Iamhere
	Survivor's Guilt (Preview) I think I'm realizing more how the alcoholism in my extended family has impacted my life more than I realized. I had actually considered attending Al-Anon years ago because a few things were stuck in my craw in regards to these relatives. But at the time life was looking up, I had plenty of excuses to mai...	WestMan	6	643	May 4, 2017 by hotrod
	Courage to Change (C2C) 5/4/17 (Preview) Today's daily reading is about finding ourselves through recovery. The reading suggests that Recovery is a wonderful word - it means getting something back. When we align with the program and work the 12 Steps, what we actually get back is ourselves - something wonderful in recovery is returned....	Iamhere	5	547	May 4, 2017 by _bunny_
	DUI's and the possibility (Preview) Hello Everyone, Just a question about DUI's. My exAB got another DUI a week ago, apparently this is like the 7th one ( I would say within 10 years). I don't know the time frame, but I do know he's had 2 in 2 years. I've tried googling questions about DUI's and what the possible outcome could be. I'...	starcatcher2	7	1596	May 4, 2017 by starcatcher2
	First timer.. (Preview) Hi there. I'm a first time poster. I have been to 2 Al-Anon meetings, one of which was very small, 3 people, myself, and a close friend that has been in AA for 4 years. The second meeting was about 40 people and felt very rushed with people not respecting the speakers as they were given their limited time of...	losinghopeny	3	561	May 4, 2017 by Iamhere
	Recovery Question (Preview) ABF has been going to AA 8 months now.. missing some meetings here and there. Has not been drinking anywhere close to how he drank a year ago. It is obvious he understands he is an alcoholic and has made many improvements. But I notice he is starting to drink just one day a week now. (he justifies it with a sl...	Aerin	3	502	May 4, 2017 by Iamhere
	Finally told my family (Preview) For those of you that have followed my posts, my husband has been pretty out of control with his drinking for close to two years (shortly after the birth of our daughter) - we have had flare ups with his drinking before that but nothing this severe and he was able to pull back. This past stint has lasted si...	VickiR	7	845	May 4, 2017 by el-cee
	I can't believe how much I miss him. (Preview) It has been 3 months since I have spoke to him. I can not believe how much I miss him. I honestly feel that the pain will never go away. That I will never feel like I belong. Not like I do with him. Now I know how rediculous and emotional this sounds. I am jusy trying to work through all of this mess.	tealfighter	6	545	May 3, 2017 by starcatcher2
	Spontaneous recovery from heroin addiction? (Preview) Hi Can you tell me a little about spontaneous recovery from heroin addiction? I'm so confused.Always thought opioid addicts needed treatment or some type of recovery support system like AA or NA in order to maintain long-term sobriety. I have a niece who was a heroin addict for three years and says...	Turbos02	31	695	May 3, 2017 by Turbos02
	Alcoholic Sibling 302 and Custody Issues (Preview) I'm grateful I found this room, and I intend to also get to some local meetings as my life is being affected by my alcoholic, and perhaps bipolar, brother who is 46. This is the second time in his life that he is homeless and is the process of divorce and custody of his daughter who just turned 4. For the last...	kdawg	2	531	May 3, 2017 by WestMan
	Im Back !! (Preview) ive been away from the board while in transit to my new home which belongs to my boyfriend. he has never had a girlfriend live with him. he is a total packrat and ive been busy cleaning and sorting just to feel comfortable here. we have had a few spats but ive used alot of alanon tools. i got my disability so n...	YARNCRAZY	7	3003	May 3, 2017 by Cathyinaz
	5/3/17 Courage to Change – Detachment (Preview) Today's page provides insight on an important AlAnon tool, detachment. This is not a cold and heartless weapon to be used against someone else, but in fact demonstrates love and respect for them. The writer notes how intervening and "protecting" from what we fear might be a painful experience can ac...	Enigmatic	7	1350	May 3, 2017 by Stan1
	AA members learning about Al-Anon - Suggestions??? (Preview) Good morning, everyone. I've not been here in a bit - my life is, ummm, complicated (and really, really challenging) right now,. The saving grace is Al-Anon and the network and support it brings me. Don't know if I'd be functioning without it. I have been asked to run an Al-Anon "Workshop" at a weekend A...	Suburban Denizen	2	546	May 3, 2017 by Iamhere
	rehab without insurance/tough love? (Preview) Hi, i am very new to all of this my younger sister is an A and it had gotten pretty bad the first of the year, another seizure this one at work so i had heard that a local hospital had a rehab center and they could not turn you away if you didn't have insurance so she did a 3 day in house then some AA and mandatory SA...	jenk	6	2362	May 3, 2017 by Iamhere
	Stop Taking It Personally (Preview) Hi everyone. I was searching things online and happened to end up here reading posts and then remembered I used to be a member here.It's amazing I was able to log in still.It's showing I have zero posts since joining in 2010 and I'm not sure if I had posts and they were removed or archived or if I never poste...	jadebear	8	1730	May 3, 2017 by Iamhere
	Need wisdom and experience of other Al-Anon members who have walked away (Preview) RosieMemberAfter 5 years of marriage, 'social' cocaine use seems to be more solitary crack use now and husband still says it's not a big deal...not every day.After our baby's 1st baby I hit my wall...and gave him ultimatum, left the house with baby and threatened divorce...hoping that walking away...	RosieGinger	2	595	May 3, 2017 by RosieGinger
	My boyfriend is a meth addict and I am miserable. (Preview) Hi, My name is Rachael and I am 26 years old. My boyfriend is a meth addict. I am incredibly torn about what I should be doing with this man. We have been together for about a year and a half. He has been one of my best friends since we were kids so I feel like our long relationship has made this situation even h...	rachaelb	7	1420	May 3, 2017 by PosiesandPuppies
	Opening conversation about drinking and what that means .. (Preview) So I am really struggling with the idea that my oldest is off to college in 4 months and in no way have I prepared her for the real world .. and what I mean by that is I want to download ALL of my street smarts NOW so she doesn't have to learn the hard way. I have way more life experience than she needs, .. I just wa...	SerenityRUS	4	549	May 2, 2017 by andromeda
	Some light relief (Preview) Just a little funny bit to share. I was talking to my 14 year old daughter, (who is thankfully, so far, showing no signs of inheriting the 'anxious to please gene'), the other week about what she sees going on in some of the friendships around her. You know, people, mostly girls, of course, turning thems...	Sorcha	3	492	May 2, 2017 by hotrod
	Invisible Progress. (Preview) There is a particular situation in my life that causes me terrible angst and distress, and has historically ended in self-destructive decisions and extremely poor self care. Basically a person that I cut out of my life a long time ago (with good reason) makes sporadic attempts to re-connect and my us...	MissM	3	465	May 2, 2017 by rachaelb
	Acceptance .. (Preview) I'm really dealing with a lot of acceptance and my will of I don't wanna at the moment. I am in fight mode .. not sure why I have felt off this past week .. which usually indicates some kind of rabbit hole of growth. Sometimes I hate being Alice as I never feel like I know where I will wind up .. will I chase the...	SerenityRUS	4	556	May 2, 2017 by SerenityRUS
	Hope for Today May 2 (Preview) Good morning everyone- Today's reading speaks to the perceptions we have of reality if we have been affected by alcoholism. There is mention of how the writer did not feel there was any 'alternative way of looking at life'-- this phrase got my brain going with several directions: I thought about how...	yanksfan51	4	473	May 2, 2017 by Iamhere
	Tired of this disease in me (Preview) Do you ever get tired of fighting the shortcomings? Honestly, I'm sick and tired of recurring resentments that I seem to actively look for. Im sick of my negative thought processes still dominating at times. Ive made so much progress and Ive changed so much but I'm not sure if its the perfectionist in m...	el-cee	16	735	May 2, 2017 by Cathyinaz
	I just don't know (Preview) It has been almost a year now since we set our adult son and his wife free to live their own lives. They had been living with and off of us for a long time and were quite comfortable expecting all the comforts they want while he waited for the 'perfect' job to come along. A long time in which we became emotiona...	deacon	12	675	May 1, 2017 by deacon
	5/1/17 Courage to Change “If only ___” (Preview) In today's page, one member was asked to fill in this blank: "If only ____ would happen, I would be happy." What would we put in? Qualifier stopped drinking? Work, boss, family, finances better? Perhaps they would...but the page suggests we are putting our happiness on hold if we expect it to arrive on...	Enigmatic	10	797	May 1, 2017 by Enigmatic
	First Meeting (Preview) I made my first desperate post on here months ago and was encouraged to get to a meeting. I meant to but with my schedule it was easy to put it off. I'm finally to the point where my head is about to fall off from stress, anxiety and anger. I'm probably depressed too. Can't fall asleep. Routine conflicts at w...	WestMan	5	566	May 1, 2017 by shrnp
	Stuck (Preview) I am just stuck with 1 particular situation in my life with my AH and that is how he stays out late after work drinking every single night. The hours are getting longer too. He's sitting at his workplace drinking with his friends between 3-5 hours a night and often finds some excuse to go drink with them ev...	Jayla	11	758	May 1, 2017 by Jayla
	moments of serenity (Preview) I've been having more moments of serenity lately and I am so grateful to my HP for them. Last week my AH and I had a discussion where I spoke my truth. I felt so clear about our situation. I asked my HP for help and I got it. I just said to my AH "this isn't working and I don't want to continue on like this anym...	KT2015	6	586	May 1, 2017 by KT2015
	Dishonest when comes to drinking (Preview) My on/off alcoholic partner is very dishonest when it comes to alcohol. He's always pinching drinks from me - I have caught him many, many times. I used to get angry, now I just try and set boundaries and minimise the opportunity for it to happen. Lately he has disclosed some things that he has done tha...	SaraLin	5	553	May 1, 2017 by _bunny_
	Donation update (Preview) Update re donations: There will be a slight delay in establishing The "Donation buttons". In the mean time donations can be made directly by going to PayPal.com and send to Kennyfenderjazz@gmail.com. No need to wait for the buttons to be installed	hotrod	0	473	May 1, 2017 by hotrod
	Here we go again (Preview) Hi all. Where do I begin? Well my alcoholic partner has been dry again for about 6 weeks and things were going ok for a while. That seems to be the usual pattern, a bit of a honeymoon period, maybe he's just relieved he's still alive or relieved he still has a partner after the binge or whatever, I'm not sure...	Sorcha	16	520	May 1, 2017 by Iamhere
	Step 5 Posted (Preview) Step 5 has been posted to the Step Work Board Learn How The Twelve Steps Work.Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by being active on this board as we go through the 12 Steps of recovery together!Please join in and share your thoughts Here is the link http://stepwork....	hotrod	1	373	May 1, 2017 by Iamhere
	Today's Reading ODAT April 30 (Preview) It's been quite a week and I can't find my C2C book so I thought I would read from One Day at a Time. Today' reading is about Selfish Vs Selfness and it can be applied to how we live our lives and participate in the program. I love the old adage you get back what you give to others. That is so true for me and m...	SerenityRUS	5	595	Apr 30, 2017 by hotrod
	Courage To Change 29/04 (Preview) Today's c2c reading discusses the after-effects of growing up around (or living with) constant criticism and fear- the guilt and shame become exaggerated and can be so out of proportion that minor mistakes, even years in the past can surface and plunge us into an ashamed, guilty, state. But we can le...	MissM	6	597	Apr 30, 2017 by MissM
	Stopped Communication...has anyone ever dealt with this? (Preview) I have finally cut off communication with my ExABf. However, he does have my work number (thankfully I'm self-employed so I don't have to deal with my employer) and will call that number, I do ignore it and do not answer. However, has anyone ever experienced scary behavior from your qualifier when you...	vvv	8	622	Apr 29, 2017 by vvv
	OT - Some people .. (Preview) My poor BF called me totally upset .. he was at a grocery store and some young gal tried to say that he hit her car while parking and just left it .. as in he left his big truck parked on her little car .. LOL. There was no real damage to her car if he hit her with his truck the side paneling would have been GONE. N...	SerenityRUS	3	501	Apr 29, 2017 by SerenityRUS
	clarity v confusion (Preview) my relationship has been in a state of quiet crisis for some time. my partner had an extended relapse for about 3 years. we live in my place. he's sober now about 5 months. over time, my patience has been pushed to my limits and my faith (in him/us) has been compromised. my ABF/fiance knows it. we are at a ne...	Junenine	10	648	Apr 29, 2017 by Junenine
	Blind Spots (Preview) Well hello, all. sometimes I don't know when I'll learn. yesterday my neighbor moved out of her apt. Now, I know what ive seen with her...no judgment, I simply knew who she was. Right after she left, I got a text message from her accusing me of siphoning electricity from her outlet in the basement and...	WorkingThroughIt	3	601	Apr 29, 2017 by WorkingThroughIt
	Courage to Change (C2C) 4/28/17 (Preview) Having a wild week - here's today's thoughts from the Courage to Change... Today's reminder --- Anything and everything about me can be used for my good. If I feel insecure or frightened today, I will remember that my fear is a signal that there is something or me to learn. Today's quote from As We Unde...	Iamhere	2	470	Apr 28, 2017 by Enigmatic
	Relapse (Preview) Good evening i am needing advice; my husband was in rehab mid Sept - mid Nov. was amazing when he returned home.... then started going bad, stopped attending meetings, soon i discovered he was grabbing a beer or two in way home from work. causing tension as his guilt eating him up as he knows its upsettin...	jenn6	4	559	Apr 28, 2017 by _bunny_
	respecting peoples time. (Preview) This is something that has become an interesting boundary for me. Interesting because as a concept its been foreign, having been mostly surrounded by alcoholism. Over the last two years, it's become an asset and more recently a boundary. When people are giving of their time, I feel good about being o...	a4l	5	574	Apr 28, 2017 by shrnp
	Feel like I'm losing my son (Preview) I know that, in reality, I'm not losing my kid to addiction or to depression.....but, I feel like he's more disconnected from me now than he used to be. He was my sidekick for so many years and because of his separation anxiety, he was never comfortable being away from me. Once the divorce happened 2.5...	andromeda	9	692	Apr 28, 2017 by Cathyinaz
	Trying to keep my focus on myself (Preview) Lately I have been struggling with trying to keep my focus on myself and letting AW do her own thing and manage her own recovery in her own way, and feeling ... I'm not sure. Almost betrayed by the choices AW is making in her recovery. I let her move back in with the understanding that she would work full tim...	Skorpi	9	647	Apr 28, 2017 by Iamhere
	Struggling (Preview) This is my first attempt at getting some sort of support. I am married to an alcoholic. We've been together for 7 years and married for 2 of those years. In fact we just celebrated our 2nd wedding anniversary. He was a drinker when I met him and in fact we used to really enjoying drinking together. I know w...	newly wed 2015	4	613	Apr 28, 2017 by Enigmatic
	Wondering what do I do now? (Preview) I posted in another thread that my AH had a panic attack last night, and while massaging his shoulders trying to calm him down, I saw the shape of a vodka bottle in his pocket. Long story short, i told him why bother lying about it, we all know what it is. Once I was sure that it was indeed a panic attack and not...	PosiesandPuppies	14	750	Apr 28, 2017 by Junenine
	TOAST (Preview) I am so sorry to not be able to credit who included TOAST in one of the posts here not too long ago. I believe it stands for "Turn it Over And Stop Talking." This has been my most recent go to slogan. It really has helped me to let go and not make a situation worse by commenting with my opinion all the time. ...	El	7	613	Apr 28, 2017 by El
	Earning trust back after finishing rehab (Preview) My husband comes out of his 14 day rehab program tomarrow. He is already asking me when he will get to drive our daughter aground again. I'm not comfortable with allowing him to drive her anywhere any time soon because he has been drunk driving for years and this is the very first time he has ever gone int...	Aowen76	22	3502	Apr 27, 2017 by Bo
	A funny .. (Preview) I am tattling on myself .. lol. Truly I am grateful for the Alanon program because what I say and think are two totally different things. I'm sure if you are on facebook going around at the moment is the little thing about the texting where it's he says .. then she says .. and there's a lot of deleting and u...	SerenityRUS	2	517	Apr 27, 2017 by Iamhere
	ODAT Reading 4-27-2017 (Preview) The ODA T reading for April 27 speaks about the time when the alcoholic finally finds sobriety and our reaction to it. The reading suggests that we must withdraw from being the dominant role that we obtained while the alcoholic was drinking . The reading asks will we try to cooperate with this mira...	hotrod	2	525	Apr 27, 2017 by Stan1
	I am not responsible for the way he acts! (Preview) Went to my therapist today and I thought this may help someone. My ah related again and is two weeks sober this time his moods are hyper sensitive and he has episode of whatever a lot lately. Example is I got a text from him with graphic picture of dog poop, yep dog poop. I ignored it and just drover home. As I...	Helpangel	9	669	Apr 27, 2017 by Iamhere
	Divorce or Not-Leaving it in God's hands... (Preview) This last couple weeks my AH has gone back to drinking more so than normal in the last 2 months. He has withdrawn from attending family functions and just wants to stay home all the time. I know it's so he can drink and not feel guilty. Honestly my meetings to Al-anon have been helping more and more that I go...	Godsdaughter	13	878	Apr 27, 2017 by Iamhere
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