Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene

George · Member

New to all anon Need to talk

hotrod · ~*Service Worker*~

Hello George Welcome, Alcoholism is a chronic, progressive disease that not only affects the problem drinker but the entire family as well. Please do search out alanon meetings and attend , you will be supported on this painful journey and find new constructive tools to live by .

There is help and hope so do keep coming back here as well.

George · Member

RE: New to all anon Nedd to talk

Bo · ~*Service Worker*~

George, welcome, you are in the right place. Everyone here knows exactly what you are feeling and going through -- as we felt and went through the same exact thing. When you are ready -- truly ready -- to start doing the work, making change, in you as that is the only person you can in fact change -- then you will first turn around and face the right direction, and then begin to take small steps moving in the right direction.

The very first thing -- find the time, make the time, get to face to face meetings. Figure it out. Make it happen. Find a sponsor and start to do the work. Keep coming back.

George · Member

I'm so deep in depression I don't feel any positivity or energy to fight anymore

hotrod · ~*Service Worker*~

That is understandable. George

we do have online meetings here two times a day . They are held in the chat room l and here is the schedule-and web address

www.12stepforums.net/chatroom2.html

Anon Family Group
Meeting/Chat Room

Meetings
9 AM EST Mon-Fri
9 PM EST Mon-Sat
10 AM EST Sat & Sun
7 PM EST Sunday
You do not have to share by simply listening and "feeling part of" helps tremendously .

I attended face-to-face meetings for over year before I spoke. Just being with people who understood what I was going through was enough. Please do give the online meetings to try. They are excellent

Bo · ~*Service Worker*~

RE: New to all anon Need to talk

Lee51 · Member

Welcome. I'm new to this, too. I'll be attending my fourth meeting tonight. For the past couple years I had done a lot of reading about AA and Al Anon, but it took me just "giving in" to get myself to an actual meeting. I know everyone's issues are different, but I really recommend you give it a try, even if you can only attend via the Internet. Realizing there are many people coping with this disease and the problems it causes is a powerful revelation. Peace.

Jerry F · ~*Service Worker*~

Georgina...Aloha and welcome to the family. Betty has posted the twice daily online meetings which you can go to and participate with other members. Your condition of 4 children helps me remember my own and the deeply powerful and insane/sad time in my life when the courts separated me from my own children and connected them only with my addicted wife. My life isn't how I dreamed it would be and then it isn't over like I one thought it was because of the program. How absolutely insane addiction is!! Please keep coming back to the online meetings so that you can get the Experience, Strength and Hope other family members have received also along with their peace of mind and serenity.

We cannot fix the alcoholic or addict of any kind however we can find a power greater than ourselves which can and will help us heal. (((((hugs))))) smile

Iamhere · ~*Service Worker*~

Welcome to MIP George - so glad you found us and glad that you posted. So very sorry that the disease has affected your life - there is hope and help in recovery. Living with an alcoholic is difficult - Al-Anon gave me the tools to recover from the affects this disease had on me. I understand also about having children and being overwhelmed and depressed - as posted above, online meetings will certainly get you started.

I am not sure about your area, in mine, some of our meetings have daycare. If you go to the official Al-Anon site, and seek for meetings in your city/area, you can see if that might be an option. I will admit that it is in Face to Face meetings that I found local support/resources that i would not trade in for anything.

Know that you are not alone and you can recover no matter what your qualifier is/is not doing. Keep coming back!

shrnp · Senior Member

Welcome George,
Many larger cities have face to face meetings during the day and in the evenings. I have participate in the online meetings we have here, and it has helped tremendously. If you search for Alanon podcast some of those are interesting too. It is hard when your loved one is getting help and you are unable to. Alanon helps us to focus on making ourselves healthy. Glad you are here!

George · Member

Thankyou all for the time u took out to reply much appreciated. I will make the online meeting in the morning. I want to stand up and get better I want to learn how to detache. He is in rehab getting his help i need to get mine. At the moment I feel like I'm coming across like a needy lonely scared little girl. I used to be a confident strong person

Jerry F · ~*Service Worker*~

George wrote:
Thankyou all for the time u took out to reply much appreciated. I will make the online meeting in the morning. I want to stand up and get better I want to learn how to detache. He is in rehab getting his help i need to get mine. At the moment I feel like I'm coming across like a needy lonely scared little girl. I used to be a confident strong person

Don't judge yourself harshly George. Our disease is cunning, powerful and baffling. You're up against a bad one and finding that you were courageous enough to reach out for help is a biggie. Please stick around and keep coming back. (((hugs))) aww

shrnp · Senior Member

Many of us have these same feelings. When someone in a relationship goes to rehab it does change the dynamic of the situation at home. Even though, it is for the good of the relationship, it is still scary and different. That is often a time when things are quiet and we have some extra time to think about ourselves, because the alcoholic in our lives is not at home distracting us and taking up all of our spare time.

Bo · ~*Service Worker*~

George wrote:
Thankyou all for the time u took out to reply much appreciated. I will make the online meeting in the morning. I want to stand up and get better I want to learn how to detache. He is in rehab getting his help i need to get mine. At the moment I feel like I'm coming across like a needy lonely scared little girl. I used to be a confident strong person

Keep coming back, start doing the work...and you will get better. Al-anon is where you get better. Start with a face to face meeting, and find a sponsor. The very first thing you will start with is Step 1 and acceptance. Immerse yourself in acceptance. You will then learn how to detach, not enable, not contribute to the chaos, drama and turmoil that may be going on, and you'll learn more. You will learn a framework for how to live your life -- in a happy and healthy way.

That said, you are not coming across like a lonely, scared little girl -- not at all. You are coming across strong and courageous -- you came here for help! That takes courage and being brave. That takes strength. Congratulations. We have all been there before. Welcome and keep coming back.

Cathyinaz · ~*Service Worker*~

George

I came here so broken and lost I didn't know if I was going to make it. Well.....LOOK AT ME NOW. I'm doing good and I have been through some pretty bad S

The key is to keep coming back....Keep the focus on you.....and let go let God

It's not going to happen in one day because this a One Day at a Time for the rest of your life my friend

Take care of you

(( hugs ))

PS: I'm as strong as they come but in the beginning OH MY LORD!!

-- Edited by Cathyinaz on Tuesday 18th of April 2017 11:55:35 AM

Jerry F · ~*Service Worker*~

Awesome Cathy and so very true...Look at you now!! (((((hugs))))) aww

Jazzie18 · Senior Member

I like what Cathy said. Many of us came here at our bottom. Two years ago my husband was at his worst, I was finally out of denial that he was an A and I was just trying to keep our family together. I know how stressful this is, especially when you have kids. At the time I thought my life was ending. I have to say that although it was the most difficult time of my life, it was the best thing that ever happened to me. It made me really see reality and to stop hiding/making excuses for my A. I realized I no longer had to keep up the charade that our life was perfect and that was a huge relief. Once I really learned to let go and let god guide me and my AH it was like a 100 pound weight was lifted from my shoulders. Hang in there and keep coming back because the program really does work. Sending hugs and positive vibes your way.

Alo504LSU · Newbie

Hi I am New as well. Going through a tough time. Recently started divorce process and yesterday my A decided to attempt suicide and is hospital right now for psych evaluation. We have two little ones and it's taking a huge toll on everyone. Feel so lost right now.

hotrod · ~*Service Worker*~

Welcome Alo504LSU You are not alone. Alcoholism is a chronic disease over which we are powerless. I am sorry to read that hubby has attempted to take his own life and know how painful that can be.

Alanon is a recovery program for family members that holds face to face meetings in most communities and the hot line number can be found in the white page. There is help and hope so please do keep coming back here as well.

Iamhere · ~*Service Worker*~

I too send you a warm welcome ALO - so very sorry for the pain you are experiencing from the disease. Sending you positive thoughts and prayers....same for your A. Please keep coming back - there is hope and help in recovery!

Jerry F · ~*Service Worker*~

ALO suicide attempts are not unusual on the part of the alcoholic. I learned that it was a sign regarding how defeated and trapped they feel because of the in curable nature of the life threatening disease they have with us. I went thru the same process and it was beyond fearsome. With the help of the program and my Higher Power and the tools it has place in my life on a daily basis, I am committed to never going thru there again. Keep coming back. This works when you work it. ((((hugs)))) smile

The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.

Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene

Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene