Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Lee43stan · Lee43stan

The WSO suggests Alanon does not use these three terms: qualifier, codependent, crosstalk. They are terms used in counseling, therapy. In Alanon the focus is on me and I belong because I have been affected by a friend or family who drinks. The A drinks and I am affected by/ obsessed to the A. I need help a...

Aline · Aline

I've stopped financially enabling my A and mostly have a good handle on detachment, now I'm wondering how "with love" comes into this. Might be I'm just letting his negative attitude get to me (what a shocker that would be!) and I'm actually doing ok with this part as well... I'm not sure. Recently our i...

el-cee · el-cee

Ive realised that I cant ride on my early days step work forever, I've got to keep on with the step 4 inventory, the self searching seems to be so important for our recovery and for our continued quest towards emotional sobriety. Alcoholism seems to come into my life like an earthquake and shakes me to t...

Lyne · Lyne

For about 26 years I have been devoted to my A. I have not been her priority, she had an emotional affair, lied, snuck around, and had other priorities , especially drinking. Towards the end of 2016 I bought a condo to live half time near my son and granddaughter . NOW she is devastated and feels fear an...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning Everyone: Today's reading is about setting boundaries and detachment with love. The writer describes a relationship with his/her mother which is affected by alcoholism, even after the mother is no longer drinking. One phrase used to describe the relationship is 'I didn't know wher...

Ruthie050573 · Ruthie050573

So, I've been around alcoholics my whole life. Intend to be an enabler... I was married 21 years to an alcoholic who's had 3 DUIs... walked the road of those financially and legal consequences with him for 2 of those while married. The other one was while divorced and walked the road legally by refusing...

Sorcha · Sorcha

Good morning all. I have just been feeling so sad the last couple of days at the destruction the disease causes in the sufferer and in the relationships around the alcoholic. I know that's why we have al-anon but it doesn't take away the pain of a loved one drinking themselves to death or of the hurtful st...

WestMan · WestMan

I've been slowly easing into Al-Anon since around April. I'm happy to say that it has been quite helpful. Both the face-to-face meetings and this forum (thank you) have been very good for me. I've been keeping my eyes and ears open for someone who might be a potential sponsor. I wasn't in a hurry but hav...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

We are finally getting some answers to what has been going on with my girl. First off she's doing great .. it's really been a crazy ride, I have learned soooo much. I was finally able to get her into the pysch which I am never thrilled with only because it has been my experience in a small town based upon th...

Peetzie · Peetzie

can someone tell me at what stage 'in the rooms' of AA do phone numbers get exchanged. Is it something that happens between members when they are having cosy one to one chats with each other. I can't for the life of me see where amongst the sharing and quoting of working the programme etc, it is suggested t...

YARNCRAZY · YARNCRAZY

ive been living with my boyfriend happily for the past 5 mths but he has this werid situation that is tearing me up. i have tried to give the thing back to him,tried to ignore it,give it to higher power with no results basically a few years ago, he co signed on a friend of a friend's apartment lease. he knows...

Buckeye Girl · Buckeye Girl

My adult daughter has relapsed for the second time in 3 months. She went to a 30 day rehab and got back together during that time with her ex boyfriend who had dumped her. She was sober for a few weeks, and they were back together, until she went on a several day binge, and the boyfriend dumped her again. I th...

PosiesandPuppies · PosiesandPuppies

So I had to bolt from our shared home this past weekend. The reality of Kid and I moving out hit AH and things just got to emotional... not angry mind you, just emotional and I began to feel sorrow and guilt for what I KNOW in my heart to be the next right thing for me and Kid. I knew I was in danger of listening to...

Bo · Bo

We face so many things as a result of this disease...but I face many things as a result of me. It could be my "stinking thinking" or my expectations, or me wanting to be right, wanting what I want, which is always something good, perhaps I just want the alcoholic to want to get better. Who knows. Often, som...

El · El

Good morning all. I almost feel badly posting my concern while there is so much devastation in Texas. My problems aren't even problems compared to what that area of the country is going through.....so forgive my whining here today! This fear of mine rears its head every time we are going to have out o...

PosiesandPuppies · PosiesandPuppies

Dear MIP Family, I had to send a letter to my AH's family yesterday. Even though my husband is dry for now, he has not really done anything about his responsibilities. Long story long, almost a month ago my AH was fired from his job. According to him, it was after he went to his boss to say he needed help for...

Lyne · Lyne

Learning about trust: The author spoke of her difficulty trusting other people, and expected rejection when she asked someone to sponsor her. But she was accepted by the sponsor, guided through the steps, and over time received so many positive responses. The author remarks that she was willing...

Flyfree · Flyfree

Hi all need for ESH. I am trying to have clarity in my thinking. My response to my AH has changed. I went away last week end when I came back I noticed I have very little patience for his nonsense. Thursday evening he left and didn't return with my car till Saturday morning. Constantly says he loves me and he...

Thunder · Thunder

I am so upset. Got up this morning, did my prayers and quiet time. The thoughts roaming through my head negative. I was suppose to do something with my sister and what does she do, what she always does, think about herself. She sends me a random text and then when I text back she doesn't reply. I have a...

Dancer66 · Dancer66

Hello and thank you all for being so welcoming. Looking for suggestions here. So my husband is not a typical alcoholic--but definite problem with alcohol (drinks 3-5 beens in a sitting, drinks at least 5-6 days a week, is loud, obnoxious, can be insensitive with what he says, slurs words at times....

pinkchip · pinkchip

Have not been here for a while, but just wanted to say hi. This whole year's major AA/alanon work was all about working on anger and developing more patience to not snap qhen I feel slighted or condescended to. I didn't know those were defects that were so bad until it started biting me in the ass. Other...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Since today's share was posted later than desired, I decided to post for tomorrow early!!! Perhaps they can balance out in some way! Tomorrow's reading talks about what was expected at a member's first meeting vs. what was delivered. The writer shares disappointment that the Twelve Steps were pr...

wifeofalcoholic · wifeofalcoholic

Hi, I am reading my One Day at a Time book, my Courage to Change Book but feeling that old familiar feeling of anxiety. I feel it so often when my AH is about to come home or when I am about to walk in the door. It can be months of sobriety and that ugly feeling of what will I find when I walk in the door has left hi...

Paloma Negra · Paloma Negra

Good morning everyone, it's 10am and I'm still in bed. I work a late shift but usually would be up by now. Today however the anxiety and maybe depression have had their way. The last time I checked in my MI son had just come home and the A was having a good tantrum. My own drama is that I'm supposed to be having...

milkwood · milkwood

Yesterday I learnt that my husband relapsed and that this happened a year ago. Not my problem, just sad. With this awareness comes awareness of a lot of lies and those do hurt, although not as much as they used to. I've been away studying for ten months with occasional visits home. Now after my course ha...

BethBethBeth · BethBethBeth

Hi everyone- just need to vent a little. My AH & I are in marriage counseling. He's desperately unhappy and depressed (surprise!) and I truly want to be support and loving. But-I'm starting to wonder if I'm stuck on step one and thinking I can do something to fix him. Like maybe he'll wake up &...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Better late than not at all !!! Today's reading is a great one - it's about denial. For many of us, when we find recovery, we are amazed how many signs were right in front of us, yet we acted as if there was not a problem. Some deny the alcoholic has a drinking issue, others are willing to blame the drinker f...

hotrod · hotrod

The ODAT reading for today speaks about the confusion that many of us live in prior to finding alanon. It suggests that swirling thoughts and inappropriate actions were our go to reactions when confronted with choices. We did not know that "Easy Does It' or the serenity prayer could interrupt the...

a4l · a4l

Well, I'm almost done with the project I bit off and I'm glad. Its clarified a lot of things for me and my soul journey, which is looking to be rather a lonely one, but one I willingly embrace because I will never fit in with typical and its ridiculous to try. I have to be me. Four months ago, I wrote a length...

LKSG8R · LKSG8R

My alcoholic mother fell and broke her leg for the second time this year. This time she admitted to the ER doctors that she had been mixing pills and vodka. They wouldn't let her go home at discharge for safety reasons so now she's in a skilled nursing facility to rehab her leg. She required a weaning prot...

bud · bud

I'm feeling so sick. I've been lamenting and feeling horrible and having hope against hope for a reconciliation. He still has my things at his house and he's looking for someone else.

curiouskate · curiouskate

Hi all, Newbie here! My BF and I have been dating for almost 4 years, aside from a short breakup after some infidelity on his part. He has always had an affection for alcohol and comes from a line of addicts, but I did not notice how bad until we moved in together about two years ago. About 3 months ago, I star...

hummingbird1094 · hummingbird1094

Just wondering if anyone else gets upset over seeing commercials and advertising for alcohol. It really angers me. We went to visit my son in another state. Every where you looked there was a billboard or a liquor/beer store. Seriously, how can anyone with an alcohol addiction try to move on when...

hummingbird1094 · hummingbird1094

My son abused alcohol for years while living at home. Always denied he had a problem. Drank bottles of vodka, whiskey, etc. then would get mean and aggressive to his girlfriend. Vowed he would stop only to start again. We wanted to kick him out but he was finishing his college degree in a few months s...

floatyaway · floatyaway

Hi, brand new here. Looked through the sticky posts and didn't see this covered, but I'm fairly upset and may have just missed it -- please point me in the right direction if so, and I apologize. So, my wife is a high-functioning alcoholic who's been sober for 2+ years. She was able to hold down a high-p...

hotrod · hotrod

The ODAT reading for August 24. speaks about the importance of honesty and candor. The reading suggests that as we practice the program, using the slogans and steps we come to the acceptance of the fact that our behavior, like that of the alcoholic, has been far from sane and reasonable. It points out t...

Skorpi · Skorpi

Good morning MIP! Today's reading in Courage to Change is about the fear of making mistakes. The author explains how even the smallest mistake could lead to an avalanche of accusations and abuse from the alcoholic and eventually themselves. Avoiding mistakes, covering every possible outcome, s...

NCJo · NCJo

Hey Everyone! Thank you so much for everyone's great advice about how to support my ABF when he returns from rehab. It has help me mentally prepare to everything and to support him the best I can. I am planning to go to my first face to face al-anon meeting with my Future MIL. I am a little nervous about w...

Paloma Negra · Paloma Negra

Including me. I've started and stopped (support and self help) so many times I lost count but it's never too late to start anew on a clean page. Maybe, it has given me time to put more things into perspective. This time, however, I'm not really sure exactly how much perspective I need. (A little back hist...

gratefulforafuture · gratefulforafuture

Good morning, I woke up thinking about this personal challenge for me and wondered if anyone on this board had some helpful thoughts. I have taken the step of moving out of my home and leaving my AH and I feel good about that. It was the right choice for me. I am happy with my apartment and blessed to have...

Ledclone · Ledclone

HiLast year I met the most wonderful women. Beautiful, witty, charming etc. We just clicked and have fallen madly in love. She was open from the start, she liked to drink. I enjoy a drink. But over the year i have realised there is drinking and drinking. I won't bore you as I am sure many members have a sim...

Buckeye Girl · Buckeye Girl

For those of you who have read my previous posts, you know my adult daughter is an alcoholic. She lives far away from me, and that has caused numerous problems between us. This is my current situation. She relapsed again a couple of weeks ago. That was her second relapse in the last 3 months. She had compl...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning Everyone: This reading is about looking to our Higher Power and within ourselves to find everything we need. The writer mentions going to meetings in the beginning and looking for instruction on how to feel self respect and self esteem. The writer was looking to everyone in his/her li...

Dancer66 · Dancer66

hi. I am new to alanon. Just went to my first face to face mtg last week. Different. Still looking around. Glad I found this site. ok. I am underatanding about the general rules, principles, but hazy on home to put into real world practice. Example: my husband brinks frequntly at night, usually 2...

Lyne · Lyne

Live your own life: Today's reading speaks about learning to stop focusing on others, and living in our life. We can accomplish this by practicing detachment, stop minding everyone else's business, developing awareness about ourselves, and learning to love ourselves. Searching for the real "...

bud · bud

I worked hard to sweep my side of the street and was prepared and looking forwawrd to practice keeping it clean. .... and I'll have that chance but not today and not with him. I had hope for reconciliation - nothing bad happened, he just said he lost his desire for me and for a relationship. He said he hates...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

One big red flag for me anymore are people who say I don't do drama .. LOL .. I look for the keyholes of drama going on in their life. I have drama in mine that is not mine and it irritates me a great deal. Trust me when I say yes .. I have drama and no I really don't enjoy it .. I think it's one of those things I have...

Doingmybest · Doingmybest

Hi all, I'm having an issue that is "eating " at me. Home is good and many things are on the right path otherwise, but I am projecting in the worst kind of way right now. Any suggestions or advice would be appreciated....though advice is not usually an aspect of Al-Anon. Anyway, I can not address this is...

Mapper · Mapper

I don't know what is going on with my husband. I don't know if his decisions are due to his alcoholism, some form of ADHD or Narcissism, but I am on the verge of a breakdown with his actions. I'll start by saying the only reason I find anything out is because I snoop on my husband's online bank account, our ph...

el-cee · el-cee

Today's reading talks about loving someone who cant be trusted, this reality is difficult for us to face and so we suffer from 'disappointment of broken promises, contradictions and outright lies.' Each time it happens we feel crushed and outraged. Then hours or days later we put the incident out ou...

Rockburn · Rockburn

I haven't been to a meeting before, but I think I'm overdue for one. I grew up literally surrounded by alcoholics. My Biological Father's side of the family. My parents divorced when I was 6 (in large part because of substance abuse). I would spend every other weekend and a few weeks in the summer (as wel...

wifeofalcoholic · wifeofalcoholic

I've always wondered how some of the AA members stay sober and recover after many years. Many go to meetings but relapse. I wonder what the difference is and what they do differently. My husband has been going to meetings for years and some counseling and every few months or less has a relapse. No bi...

hotrod · hotrod

The ODAT reading for August 20 speaks about our tendency to keep the focus on others. It suggests that we do this because we believe we are always right, and want to fight for wha t"WE believe " is the right way and that others should do and believe what we believe. The reading suggests that we are not...

Aline · Aline

Hey, guys :) Some stuff going on I want to share about. I have been true to my boundary so far of not giving my abf any money, not paying any of his bills and not buying him anything except maybe some food sometimes. Today I was brave enough to refuse lending him some money. He wrote me a message with this requ...

hotrod · hotrod

The ODA T reading for August 19 speaks about attitudes. The reading points out that our attitudes toward another, drunk or not has a huge influence on our relationships. . It points out that with our habits of blaming, judging and showing contempt for their actions such as their neglect of obligati...

Bo · Bo

I've spoke about emotional sobriety, how long I've been "clean and sober" from my unhealthy thinking, behavior, etc. To me, this is important. I have my triggers too -- I can be triggered by people, places, things, an innocent passing comment, who knows what else. I know when I have a "slip" -- I have to...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Good morning Family...hope all is well with your all. You ever go to a Read, Write, Talk meeting? I attended my first one last evening and we used the Survival to Recovery book which is one that I like much. Instruction was to read first and then write and then share. Booo I begged out from the firs...

Jbella · Jbella

Hi there, I'm new to this. I have a sister, 39, who is an alcoholic. She is 7 days out of rehab and has already been drunk twice. She called me this morning at 7am and I had a feeling she had been drinking but didn't want to say anything until I knew for sure. When she's drunk she repeats herself within minutes...

wifeofalcoholic · wifeofalcoholic

It has been many years of sobriety, relapses, apologies, getting serious about meetings and counseling. You can't live life without hope and I have hung onto hope that this rotten disease would be managed and my husband would be sober like some people we have met. Unfortunately, I have been in the u...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading discusses Tradition 6 - "Our Al-Anon Family Groups ought never endorse, finance, or lend our name to any outside enterprise, lest problems of money, property and prestige divert us from our primary spiritual aim." The reading goes on to explain that even when a request has merit an...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Terms: qualifier, crosstalk, codependent (Preview) The WSO suggests Alanon does not use these three terms: qualifier, codependent, crosstalk. They are terms used in counseling, therapy. In Alanon the focus is on me and I belong because I have been affected by a friend or family who drinks. The A drinks and I am affected by/ obsessed to the A. I need help a...	Lee43stan	5	1670	Aug 31, 2017 by DavidG
	Detaching vs. detaching with love (Preview) I've stopped financially enabling my A and mostly have a good handle on detachment, now I'm wondering how "with love" comes into this. Might be I'm just letting his negative attitude get to me (what a shocker that would be!) and I'm actually doing ok with this part as well... I'm not sure. Recently our i...	Aline	9	3255	Aug 30, 2017 by Aline
	Loving step 4 (Preview) Ive realised that I cant ride on my early days step work forever, I've got to keep on with the step 4 inventory, the self searching seems to be so important for our recovery and for our continued quest towards emotional sobriety. Alcoholism seems to come into my life like an earthquake and shakes me to t...	el-cee	3	539	Aug 30, 2017 by Lyne
	No logic available (Preview) For about 26 years I have been devoted to my A. I have not been her priority, she had an emotional affair, lied, snuck around, and had other priorities , especially drinking. Towards the end of 2016 I bought a condo to live half time near my son and granddaughter . NOW she is devastated and feels fear an...	Lyne	11	1376	Aug 30, 2017 by Lyne
	Hope for Today aug 29 (Preview) Good morning Everyone: Today's reading is about setting boundaries and detachment with love. The writer describes a relationship with his/her mother which is affected by alcoholism, even after the mother is no longer drinking. One phrase used to describe the relationship is 'I didn't know wher...	yanksfan51	6	2440	Aug 29, 2017 by DavidG
	New to group with questions about aging parents (Preview) So, I've been around alcoholics my whole life. Intend to be an enabler... I was married 21 years to an alcoholic who's had 3 DUIs... walked the road of those financially and legal consequences with him for 2 of those while married. The other one was while divorced and walked the road legally by refusing...	Ruthie050573	4	950	Aug 29, 2017 by hotrod
	Hate the disease (Preview) Good morning all. I have just been feeling so sad the last couple of days at the destruction the disease causes in the sufferer and in the relationships around the alcoholic. I know that's why we have al-anon but it doesn't take away the pain of a loved one drinking themselves to death or of the hurtful st...	Sorcha	5	678	Aug 29, 2017 by Sorcha
	I Now Have a Sponsor (Preview) I've been slowly easing into Al-Anon since around April. I'm happy to say that it has been quite helpful. Both the face-to-face meetings and this forum (thank you) have been very good for me. I've been keeping my eyes and ears open for someone who might be a potential sponsor. I wasn't in a hurry but hav...	WestMan	8	1289	Aug 29, 2017 by WestMan
	A week .. just a week .. (Preview) We are finally getting some answers to what has been going on with my girl. First off she's doing great .. it's really been a crazy ride, I have learned soooo much. I was finally able to get her into the pysch which I am never thrilled with only because it has been my experience in a small town based upon th...	SerenityRUS	4	2411	Aug 29, 2017 by andromeda
	Emotional infidelity (Preview) can someone tell me at what stage 'in the rooms' of AA do phone numbers get exchanged. Is it something that happens between members when they are having cosy one to one chats with each other. I can't for the life of me see where amongst the sharing and quoting of working the programme etc, it is suggested t...	Peetzie	9	1402	Aug 29, 2017 by Doingmybest
	what do u think ? (Preview) ive been living with my boyfriend happily for the past 5 mths but he has this werid situation that is tearing me up. i have tried to give the thing back to him,tried to ignore it,give it to higher power with no results basically a few years ago, he co signed on a friend of a friend's apartment lease. he knows...	YARNCRAZY	6	552	Aug 28, 2017 by SerenityRUS
	Perspective on reaching out! (Preview) My adult daughter has relapsed for the second time in 3 months. She went to a 30 day rehab and got back together during that time with her ex boyfriend who had dumped her. She was sober for a few weeks, and they were back together, until she went on a several day binge, and the boyfriend dumped her again. I th...	Buckeye Girl	6	1006	Aug 28, 2017 by el-cee
	Need a little ESH (Preview) So I had to bolt from our shared home this past weekend. The reality of Kid and I moving out hit AH and things just got to emotional... not angry mind you, just emotional and I began to feel sorrow and guilt for what I KNOW in my heart to be the next right thing for me and Kid. I knew I was in danger of listening to...	PosiesandPuppies	7	2619	Aug 28, 2017 by Jerry F
	When you are struggling... (Preview) We face so many things as a result of this disease...but I face many things as a result of me. It could be my "stinking thinking" or my expectations, or me wanting to be right, wanting what I want, which is always something good, perhaps I just want the alcoholic to want to get better. Who knows. Often, som...	Bo	2	556	Aug 28, 2017 by Iamhere
	Old Fear on an Old Topic (Preview) Good morning all. I almost feel badly posting my concern while there is so much devastation in Texas. My problems aren't even problems compared to what that area of the country is going through.....so forgive my whining here today! This fear of mine rears its head every time we are going to have out o...	El	3	850	Aug 28, 2017 by Iamhere
	AH is dry, but living in La La Land (Preview) Dear MIP Family, I had to send a letter to my AH's family yesterday. Even though my husband is dry for now, he has not really done anything about his responsibilities. Long story long, almost a month ago my AH was fired from his job. According to him, it was after he went to his boss to say he needed help for...	PosiesandPuppies	25	5162	Aug 28, 2017 by Iamhere
	C2C-8/28 (Preview) Learning about trust: The author spoke of her difficulty trusting other people, and expected rejection when she asked someone to sponsor her. But she was accepted by the sponsor, guided through the steps, and over time received so many positive responses. The author remarks that she was willing...	Lyne	3	929	Aug 28, 2017 by Iamhere
	Need for clarity (Preview) Hi all need for ESH. I am trying to have clarity in my thinking. My response to my AH has changed. I went away last week end when I came back I noticed I have very little patience for his nonsense. Thursday evening he left and didn't return with my car till Saturday morning. Constantly says he loves me and he...	Flyfree	3	801	Aug 28, 2017 by Iamhere
	Angry and Despondent (Preview) I am so upset. Got up this morning, did my prayers and quiet time. The thoughts roaming through my head negative. I was suppose to do something with my sister and what does she do, what she always does, think about herself. She sends me a random text and then when I text back she doesn't reply. I have a...	Thunder	7	1095	Aug 28, 2017 by Sweetiemom
	Children in house--need suggestions when there is excessive drinking. (Preview) Hello and thank you all for being so welcoming. Looking for suggestions here. So my husband is not a typical alcoholic--but definite problem with alcohol (drinks 3-5 beens in a sitting, drinks at least 5-6 days a week, is loud, obnoxious, can be insensitive with what he says, slurs words at times....	Dancer66	3	636	Aug 28, 2017 by Bo
	Howdy all (checking in) (Preview) Have not been here for a while, but just wanted to say hi. This whole year's major AA/alanon work was all about working on anger and developing more patience to not snap qhen I feel slighted or condescended to. I didn't know those were defects that were so bad until it started biting me in the ass. Other...	pinkchip	15	1334	Aug 27, 2017 by mamalioness
	Courage to Change (C2C) 8/27/17 (Preview) Since today's share was posted later than desired, I decided to post for tomorrow early!!! Perhaps they can balance out in some way! Tomorrow's reading talks about what was expected at a member's first meeting vs. what was delivered. The writer shares disappointment that the Twelve Steps were pr...	Iamhere	4	1048	Aug 27, 2017 by Iamhere
	Any suggestions for anxiety? (Preview) Hi, I am reading my One Day at a Time book, my Courage to Change Book but feeling that old familiar feeling of anxiety. I feel it so often when my AH is about to come home or when I am about to walk in the door. It can be months of sobriety and that ugly feeling of what will I find when I walk in the door has left hi...	wifeofalcoholic	11	2938	Aug 27, 2017 by pinkchip
	When it rains...Just venting (Preview) Good morning everyone, it's 10am and I'm still in bed. I work a late shift but usually would be up by now. Today however the anxiety and maybe depression have had their way. The last time I checked in my MI son had just come home and the A was having a good tantrum. My own drama is that I'm supposed to be having...	Paloma Negra	10	2742	Aug 27, 2017 by milkwood
	Just need to say this (Preview) Yesterday I learnt that my husband relapsed and that this happened a year ago. Not my problem, just sad. With this awareness comes awareness of a lot of lies and those do hurt, although not as much as they used to. I've been away studying for ten months with occasional visits home. Now after my course ha...	milkwood	11	1300	Aug 27, 2017 by milkwood
	Banging my head on a brick wall (Preview) Hi everyone- just need to vent a little. My AH & I are in marriage counseling. He's desperately unhappy and depressed (surprise!) and I truly want to be support and loving. But-I'm starting to wonder if I'm stuck on step one and thinking I can do something to fix him. Like maybe he'll wake up &...	BethBethBeth	14	3205	Aug 27, 2017 by mamalioness
	Courage to Change (C2C) 8/26/17 (Preview) Better late than not at all !!! Today's reading is a great one - it's about denial. For many of us, when we find recovery, we are amazed how many signs were right in front of us, yet we acted as if there was not a problem. Some deny the alcoholic has a drinking issue, others are willing to blame the drinker f...	Iamhere	2	963	Aug 26, 2017 by hotrod
	ODAT Reading 8-25-2017 (Preview) The ODAT reading for today speaks about the confusion that many of us live in prior to finding alanon. It suggests that swirling thoughts and inappropriate actions were our go to reactions when confronted with choices. We did not know that "Easy Does It' or the serenity prayer could interrupt the...	hotrod	1	2747	Aug 25, 2017 by Iamhere
	Musing on life. (Preview) Well, I'm almost done with the project I bit off and I'm glad. Its clarified a lot of things for me and my soul journey, which is looking to be rather a lonely one, but one I willingly embrace because I will never fit in with typical and its ridiculous to try. I have to be me. Four months ago, I wrote a length...	a4l	6	1343	Aug 25, 2017 by andromeda
	Tired (Preview) My alcoholic mother fell and broke her leg for the second time this year. This time she admitted to the ER doctors that she had been mixing pills and vodka. They wouldn't let her go home at discharge for safety reasons so now she's in a skilled nursing facility to rehab her leg. She required a weaning prot...	LKSG8R	6	640	Aug 25, 2017 by pinkchip
	He's looking for women online (Preview) I'm feeling so sick. I've been lamenting and feeling horrible and having hope against hope for a reconciliation. He still has my things at his house and he's looking for someone else.	bud	14	4178	Aug 25, 2017 by SerenityRUS
	Dry-Ish BF and Lease Ending - Semi Long (Preview) Hi all, Newbie here! My BF and I have been dating for almost 4 years, aside from a short breakup after some infidelity on his part. He has always had an affection for alcohol and comes from a line of addicts, but I did not notice how bad until we moved in together about two years ago. About 3 months ago, I star...	curiouskate	12	4058	Aug 25, 2017 by curiouskate
	Hate the commercials and advertisements for alcohol (Preview) Just wondering if anyone else gets upset over seeing commercials and advertising for alcohol. It really angers me. We went to visit my son in another state. Every where you looked there was a billboard or a liquor/beer store. Seriously, how can anyone with an alcohol addiction try to move on when...	hummingbird1094	4	2535	Aug 25, 2017 by a4l
	Scared 20+ yr old child maybe going back down that road again (Preview) My son abused alcohol for years while living at home. Always denied he had a problem. Drank bottles of vodka, whiskey, etc. then would get mean and aggressive to his girlfriend. Vowed he would stop only to start again. We wanted to kick him out but he was finishing his college degree in a few months s...	hummingbird1094	8	3129	Aug 24, 2017 by mamalioness
	What do you say when they relapse? (Preview) Hi, brand new here. Looked through the sticky posts and didn't see this covered, but I'm fairly upset and may have just missed it -- please point me in the right direction if so, and I apologize. So, my wife is a high-functioning alcoholic who's been sober for 2+ years. She was able to hold down a high-p...	floatyaway	10	3964	Aug 24, 2017 by serenity47
	ODAT Reading 8-24-2017 (Preview) The ODAT reading for August 24. speaks about the importance of honesty and candor. The reading suggests that as we practice the program, using the slogans and steps we come to the acceptance of the fact that our behavior, like that of the alcoholic, has been far from sane and reasonable. It points out t...	hotrod	1	749	Aug 24, 2017 by Iamhere
	Courage To Change. August 23 (Preview) Good morning MIP! Today's reading in Courage to Change is about the fear of making mistakes. The author explains how even the smallest mistake could lead to an avalanche of accusations and abuse from the alcoholic and eventually themselves. Avoiding mistakes, covering every possible outcome, s...	Skorpi	8	687	Aug 23, 2017 by mamalioness
	First Al-anon Face to Face meeting (Preview) Hey Everyone! Thank you so much for everyone's great advice about how to support my ABF when he returns from rehab. It has help me mentally prepare to everything and to support him the best I can. I am planning to go to my first face to face al-anon meeting with my Future MIL. I am a little nervous about w...	NCJo	5	3364	Aug 23, 2017 by DavidG
	Everything Old is New Again... (Preview) Including me. I've started and stopped (support and self help) so many times I lost count but it's never too late to start anew on a clean page. Maybe, it has given me time to put more things into perspective. This time, however, I'm not really sure exactly how much perspective I need. (A little back hist...	Paloma Negra	3	2480	Aug 23, 2017 by Iamhere
	battling FEAR of loneliness, not loneliness itself (Preview) Good morning, I woke up thinking about this personal challenge for me and wondered if anyone on this board had some helpful thoughts. I have taken the step of moving out of my home and leaving my AH and I feel good about that. It was the right choice for me. I am happy with my apartment and blessed to have...	gratefulforafuture	11	5076	Aug 23, 2017 by gratefulforafuture
	New here. Lost in a lost world. (Preview) HiLast year I met the most wonderful women. Beautiful, witty, charming etc. We just clicked and have fallen madly in love. She was open from the start, she liked to drink. I enjoy a drink. But over the year i have realised there is drinking and drinking. I won't bore you as I am sure many members have a sim...	Ledclone	8	5314	Aug 23, 2017 by jitsuka
	HELP please! (Preview) For those of you who have read my previous posts, you know my adult daughter is an alcoholic. She lives far away from me, and that has caused numerous problems between us. This is my current situation. She relapsed again a couple of weeks ago. That was her second relapse in the last 3 months. She had compl...	Buckeye Girl	12	3153	Aug 22, 2017 by bud
	Hope for Today aug 22 (Preview) Good morning Everyone: This reading is about looking to our Higher Power and within ourselves to find everything we need. The writer mentions going to meetings in the beginning and looking for instruction on how to feel self respect and self esteem. The writer was looking to everyone in his/her li...	yanksfan51	3	4632	Aug 22, 2017 by bud
	Newbie. Need help how to handle situations (Preview) hi. I am new to alanon. Just went to my first face to face mtg last week. Different. Still looking around. Glad I found this site. ok. I am underatanding about the general rules, principles, but hazy on home to put into real world practice. Example: my husband brinks frequntly at night, usually 2...	Dancer66	11	5451	Aug 22, 2017 by Iamhere
	C2C 8/21/17 (Preview) Live your own life: Today's reading speaks about learning to stop focusing on others, and living in our life. We can accomplish this by practicing detachment, stop minding everyone else's business, developing awareness about ourselves, and learning to love ourselves. Searching for the real "...	Lyne	6	1423	Aug 21, 2017 by El
	when hope leaves - ESH please (Preview) I worked hard to sweep my side of the street and was prepared and looking forwawrd to practice keeping it clean. .... and I'll have that chance but not today and not with him. I had hope for reconciliation - nothing bad happened, he just said he lost his desire for me and for a relationship. He said he hates...	bud	21	4326	Aug 21, 2017 by bud
	Unnecessary Drama (Preview) One big red flag for me anymore are people who say I don't do drama .. LOL .. I look for the keyholes of drama going on in their life. I have drama in mine that is not mine and it irritates me a great deal. Trust me when I say yes .. I have drama and no I really don't enjoy it .. I think it's one of those things I have...	SerenityRUS	7	2427	Aug 20, 2017 by andromeda
	Stress and triggering (Preview) Hi all, I'm having an issue that is "eating " at me. Home is good and many things are on the right path otherwise, but I am projecting in the worst kind of way right now. Any suggestions or advice would be appreciated....though advice is not usually an aspect of Al-Anon. Anyway, I can not address this is...	Doingmybest	5	4945	Aug 20, 2017 by Doingmybest
	I don't even know what to say or what to do! (Long) (Preview) I don't know what is going on with my husband. I don't know if his decisions are due to his alcoholism, some form of ADHD or Narcissism, but I am on the verge of a breakdown with his actions. I'll start by saying the only reason I find anything out is because I snoop on my husband's online bank account, our ph...	Mapper	17	5497	Aug 20, 2017 by mamalioness
	Courage to Change 19/8 (Preview) Today's reading talks about loving someone who cant be trusted, this reality is difficult for us to face and so we suffer from 'disappointment of broken promises, contradictions and outright lies.' Each time it happens we feel crushed and outraged. Then hours or days later we put the incident out ou...	el-cee	4	931	Aug 20, 2017 by PosiesandPuppies
	Surrounded by alcoholics (Preview) I haven't been to a meeting before, but I think I'm overdue for one. I grew up literally surrounded by alcoholics. My Biological Father's side of the family. My parents divorced when I was 6 (in large part because of substance abuse). I would spend every other weekend and a few weeks in the summer (as wel...	Rockburn	5	1018	Aug 20, 2017 by WestMan
	What does an AA member do differently to stay sober??? (Preview) I've always wondered how some of the AA members stay sober and recover after many years. Many go to meetings but relapse. I wonder what the difference is and what they do differently. My husband has been going to meetings for years and some counseling and every few months or less has a relapse. No bi...	wifeofalcoholic	10	3350	Aug 20, 2017 by Jerry F
	ODAT Reading 8-20-2017 (Preview) The ODAT reading for August 20 speaks about our tendency to keep the focus on others. It suggests that we do this because we believe we are always right, and want to fight for wha t"WE believe " is the right way and that others should do and believe what we believe. The reading suggests that we are not...	hotrod	2	3846	Aug 20, 2017 by Iamhere
	Various thoughts (Preview) Hey, guys :) Some stuff going on I want to share about. I have been true to my boundary so far of not giving my abf any money, not paying any of his bills and not buying him anything except maybe some food sometimes. Today I was brave enough to refuse lending him some money. He wrote me a message with this requ...	Aline	6	2535	Aug 19, 2017 by Aline
	ODAT Reading 8-19-2017 (Preview) The ODA T reading for August 19 speaks about attitudes. The reading points out that our attitudes toward another, drunk or not has a huge influence on our relationships. . It points out that with our habits of blaming, judging and showing contempt for their actions such as their neglect of obligati...	hotrod	2	1919	Aug 19, 2017 by Iamhere
	Our "relapse" and "slips" (Preview) I've spoke about emotional sobriety, how long I've been "clean and sober" from my unhealthy thinking, behavior, etc. To me, this is important. I have my triggers too -- I can be triggered by people, places, things, an innocent passing comment, who knows what else. I know when I have a "slip" -- I have to...	Bo	12	3915	Aug 19, 2017 by Doingmybest
	Read, Write, Talk... (Preview) Good morning Family...hope all is well with your all. You ever go to a Read, Write, Talk meeting? I attended my first one last evening and we used the Survival to Recovery book which is one that I like much. Instruction was to read first and then write and then share. Booo I begged out from the firs...	Jerry F	4	2148	Aug 18, 2017 by Jerry F
	At a loss.. (Preview) Hi there, I'm new to this. I have a sister, 39, who is an alcoholic. She is 7 days out of rehab and has already been drunk twice. She called me this morning at 7am and I had a feeling she had been drinking but didn't want to say anything until I knew for sure. When she's drunk she repeats herself within minutes...	Jbella	4	2971	Aug 18, 2017 by Jbella
	Trying to stay sane living with AH (Preview) It has been many years of sobriety, relapses, apologies, getting serious about meetings and counseling. You can't live life without hope and I have hung onto hope that this rotten disease would be managed and my husband would be sober like some people we have met. Unfortunately, I have been in the u...	wifeofalcoholic	11	2691	Aug 18, 2017 by wifeofalcoholic
	Courage to Change (C2C) 8/18/17 (Preview) Today's reading discusses Tradition 6 - "Our Al-Anon Family Groups ought never endorse, finance, or lend our name to any outside enterprise, lest problems of money, property and prestige divert us from our primary spiritual aim." The reading goes on to explain that even when a request has merit an...	Iamhere	2	2593	Aug 18, 2017 by hotrod
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.