Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

milkwood · milkwood

Yesterday I learnt that my husband relapsed and that this happened a year ago. Not my problem, just sad. With this awareness comes awareness of a lot of lies and those do hurt, although not as much as they used to. I've been away studying for ten months with occasional visits home. Now after my course ha...

BethBethBeth · BethBethBeth

Hi everyone- just need to vent a little. My AH & I are in marriage counseling. He's desperately unhappy and depressed (surprise!) and I truly want to be support and loving. But-I'm starting to wonder if I'm stuck on step one and thinking I can do something to fix him. Like maybe he'll wake up &...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Better late than not at all !!! Today's reading is a great one - it's about denial. For many of us, when we find recovery, we are amazed how many signs were right in front of us, yet we acted as if there was not a problem. Some deny the alcoholic has a drinking issue, others are willing to blame the drinker f...

hotrod · hotrod

The ODAT reading for today speaks about the confusion that many of us live in prior to finding alanon. It suggests that swirling thoughts and inappropriate actions were our go to reactions when confronted with choices. We did not know that "Easy Does It' or the serenity prayer could interrupt the...

a4l · a4l

Well, I'm almost done with the project I bit off and I'm glad. Its clarified a lot of things for me and my soul journey, which is looking to be rather a lonely one, but one I willingly embrace because I will never fit in with typical and its ridiculous to try. I have to be me. Four months ago, I wrote a length...

LKSG8R · LKSG8R

My alcoholic mother fell and broke her leg for the second time this year. This time she admitted to the ER doctors that she had been mixing pills and vodka. They wouldn't let her go home at discharge for safety reasons so now she's in a skilled nursing facility to rehab her leg. She required a weaning prot...

bud · bud

I'm feeling so sick. I've been lamenting and feeling horrible and having hope against hope for a reconciliation. He still has my things at his house and he's looking for someone else.

curiouskate · curiouskate

Hi all, Newbie here! My BF and I have been dating for almost 4 years, aside from a short breakup after some infidelity on his part. He has always had an affection for alcohol and comes from a line of addicts, but I did not notice how bad until we moved in together about two years ago. About 3 months ago, I star...

hummingbird1094 · hummingbird1094

Just wondering if anyone else gets upset over seeing commercials and advertising for alcohol. It really angers me. We went to visit my son in another state. Every where you looked there was a billboard or a liquor/beer store. Seriously, how can anyone with an alcohol addiction try to move on when...

hummingbird1094 · hummingbird1094

My son abused alcohol for years while living at home. Always denied he had a problem. Drank bottles of vodka, whiskey, etc. then would get mean and aggressive to his girlfriend. Vowed he would stop only to start again. We wanted to kick him out but he was finishing his college degree in a few months s...

floatyaway · floatyaway

Hi, brand new here. Looked through the sticky posts and didn't see this covered, but I'm fairly upset and may have just missed it -- please point me in the right direction if so, and I apologize. So, my wife is a high-functioning alcoholic who's been sober for 2+ years. She was able to hold down a high-p...

hotrod · hotrod

The ODAT reading for August 24. speaks about the importance of honesty and candor. The reading suggests that as we practice the program, using the slogans and steps we come to the acceptance of the fact that our behavior, like that of the alcoholic, has been far from sane and reasonable. It points out t...

Skorpi · Skorpi

Good morning MIP! Today's reading in Courage to Change is about the fear of making mistakes. The author explains how even the smallest mistake could lead to an avalanche of accusations and abuse from the alcoholic and eventually themselves. Avoiding mistakes, covering every possible outcome, s...

NCJo · NCJo

Hey Everyone! Thank you so much for everyone's great advice about how to support my ABF when he returns from rehab. It has help me mentally prepare to everything and to support him the best I can. I am planning to go to my first face to face al-anon meeting with my Future MIL. I am a little nervous about w...

Paloma Negra · Paloma Negra

Including me. I've started and stopped (support and self help) so many times I lost count but it's never too late to start anew on a clean page. Maybe, it has given me time to put more things into perspective. This time, however, I'm not really sure exactly how much perspective I need. (A little back hist...

gratefulforafuture · gratefulforafuture

Good morning, I woke up thinking about this personal challenge for me and wondered if anyone on this board had some helpful thoughts. I have taken the step of moving out of my home and leaving my AH and I feel good about that. It was the right choice for me. I am happy with my apartment and blessed to have...

Ledclone · Ledclone

HiLast year I met the most wonderful women. Beautiful, witty, charming etc. We just clicked and have fallen madly in love. She was open from the start, she liked to drink. I enjoy a drink. But over the year i have realised there is drinking and drinking. I won't bore you as I am sure many members have a sim...

Buckeye Girl · Buckeye Girl

For those of you who have read my previous posts, you know my adult daughter is an alcoholic. She lives far away from me, and that has caused numerous problems between us. This is my current situation. She relapsed again a couple of weeks ago. That was her second relapse in the last 3 months. She had compl...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning Everyone: This reading is about looking to our Higher Power and within ourselves to find everything we need. The writer mentions going to meetings in the beginning and looking for instruction on how to feel self respect and self esteem. The writer was looking to everyone in his/her li...

Dancer66 · Dancer66

hi. I am new to alanon. Just went to my first face to face mtg last week. Different. Still looking around. Glad I found this site. ok. I am underatanding about the general rules, principles, but hazy on home to put into real world practice. Example: my husband brinks frequntly at night, usually 2...

Lyne · Lyne

Live your own life: Today's reading speaks about learning to stop focusing on others, and living in our life. We can accomplish this by practicing detachment, stop minding everyone else's business, developing awareness about ourselves, and learning to love ourselves. Searching for the real "...

bud · bud

I worked hard to sweep my side of the street and was prepared and looking forwawrd to practice keeping it clean. .... and I'll have that chance but not today and not with him. I had hope for reconciliation - nothing bad happened, he just said he lost his desire for me and for a relationship. He said he hates...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

One big red flag for me anymore are people who say I don't do drama .. LOL .. I look for the keyholes of drama going on in their life. I have drama in mine that is not mine and it irritates me a great deal. Trust me when I say yes .. I have drama and no I really don't enjoy it .. I think it's one of those things I have...

Doingmybest · Doingmybest

Hi all, I'm having an issue that is "eating " at me. Home is good and many things are on the right path otherwise, but I am projecting in the worst kind of way right now. Any suggestions or advice would be appreciated....though advice is not usually an aspect of Al-Anon. Anyway, I can not address this is...

Mapper · Mapper

I don't know what is going on with my husband. I don't know if his decisions are due to his alcoholism, some form of ADHD or Narcissism, but I am on the verge of a breakdown with his actions. I'll start by saying the only reason I find anything out is because I snoop on my husband's online bank account, our ph...

el-cee · el-cee

Today's reading talks about loving someone who cant be trusted, this reality is difficult for us to face and so we suffer from 'disappointment of broken promises, contradictions and outright lies.' Each time it happens we feel crushed and outraged. Then hours or days later we put the incident out ou...

Rockburn · Rockburn

I haven't been to a meeting before, but I think I'm overdue for one. I grew up literally surrounded by alcoholics. My Biological Father's side of the family. My parents divorced when I was 6 (in large part because of substance abuse). I would spend every other weekend and a few weeks in the summer (as wel...

wifeofalcoholic · wifeofalcoholic

I've always wondered how some of the AA members stay sober and recover after many years. Many go to meetings but relapse. I wonder what the difference is and what they do differently. My husband has been going to meetings for years and some counseling and every few months or less has a relapse. No bi...

hotrod · hotrod

The ODAT reading for August 20 speaks about our tendency to keep the focus on others. It suggests that we do this because we believe we are always right, and want to fight for wha t"WE believe " is the right way and that others should do and believe what we believe. The reading suggests that we are not...

Aline · Aline

Hey, guys :) Some stuff going on I want to share about. I have been true to my boundary so far of not giving my abf any money, not paying any of his bills and not buying him anything except maybe some food sometimes. Today I was brave enough to refuse lending him some money. He wrote me a message with this requ...

hotrod · hotrod

The ODA T reading for August 19 speaks about attitudes. The reading points out that our attitudes toward another, drunk or not has a huge influence on our relationships. . It points out that with our habits of blaming, judging and showing contempt for their actions such as their neglect of obligati...

Bo · Bo

I've spoke about emotional sobriety, how long I've been "clean and sober" from my unhealthy thinking, behavior, etc. To me, this is important. I have my triggers too -- I can be triggered by people, places, things, an innocent passing comment, who knows what else. I know when I have a "slip" -- I have to...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Good morning Family...hope all is well with your all. You ever go to a Read, Write, Talk meeting? I attended my first one last evening and we used the Survival to Recovery book which is one that I like much. Instruction was to read first and then write and then share. Booo I begged out from the firs...

Jbella · Jbella

Hi there, I'm new to this. I have a sister, 39, who is an alcoholic. She is 7 days out of rehab and has already been drunk twice. She called me this morning at 7am and I had a feeling she had been drinking but didn't want to say anything until I knew for sure. When she's drunk she repeats herself within minutes...

wifeofalcoholic · wifeofalcoholic

It has been many years of sobriety, relapses, apologies, getting serious about meetings and counseling. You can't live life without hope and I have hung onto hope that this rotten disease would be managed and my husband would be sober like some people we have met. Unfortunately, I have been in the u...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading discusses Tradition 6 - "Our Al-Anon Family Groups ought never endorse, finance, or lend our name to any outside enterprise, lest problems of money, property and prestige divert us from our primary spiritual aim." The reading goes on to explain that even when a request has merit an...

MizzB · MizzB

My ABF dried out over the weekend. Said all the right things. Come Monday he goes to work and drinks at work (his workplace has a fridge of alcohol that they provide for all the members of the company to drink at any time for free so even not hvaing money is no barrier which makes me quite angry). Anyway Trie...

El · El

I have been biting my tongue so hard and often lately I am surprised I don't taste blood. I suppose it's a good thing; our program is sinking in and rather than confronting, debating, arguing, etc., I am letting a lot go. I know it just exaggerates an issue and makes for a really tense household. So, wi...

Curlyblu · Curlyblu

Okay, So last month the AH had a bit of "wake up" after breaking the law, which could have turned out far worse him. He at the time realized things had gotten out of hand. That the way he was acting was not a true picture of his character. Well that positive thinking didn't last long. About two weeks ago whi...

Iamhere · Iamhere

My apologies for the late post - had little people spend the night last night... Today's reading in courage to change discusses character defects. Many of us view them as traits we no longer need. Many of us have developed clever methods of surviving with the disease such as denial or secrecy. We le...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

I am at a loss at the moment and I am seeking information about my first X. All I need to know is a marriage date I actually have everything else. I need it for my job and to get my DL in TX. This is the most RIDICULOUS thing I have ever been through and we are talking about a marriage that has been done for over...

Krystyna265 · Krystyna265

I went to my first meeting on Monday and just listened. Tuesday my A son was drunk and I was beating myself up for not getting phone numbers. Today I went to a meeting, got there early and said I was new and needed numbers. One woman said there was a group list and she'd look for it. By the time the meeting was o...

Skorpi · Skorpi

Today's reading in Courage to Change is about self-care. The author reflects on how easy it can be to push ourselves to the limit and not take care of ourselves during stressful times. Getting enough sleep, going to a meeting, or calling a sponsor can seem like a waste of precious and limited time. But i...

KT2015 · KT2015

Sunday night I came home and my AH was very drunk. It's amazing how no matter how many times it happens it still surprises me. He was so drunk that what he said wasn't making sense, he was repeating himself and he reeked of booze and he was trying to grope me which just really made me feel sick to my stomac...

tiredtonite · tiredtonite

Hi Alanon Family, I have had so many changes going on recently it's beginning to feel a bit overwhelming for me. I am not the one initiating these changes but they are things that require my participation. I've been trying to stay in touch with what I'm really feeling, do what is in front of me and remain...

mamalioness · mamalioness

I spoke with my A brother today and it was a conversation I didn't need on top of all the sorrow and loss and grief thrown at me this YEAR!!! so hes going on and on and I just told him how sorrowful I felt because to me?? when Jane died, that was IT for me re: family Hes going on and on about how he "likes to drink.....

Bayley · Bayley

Husband kicked out son last night. My mom said he was going to her house. She said they have to come here to get his things. I am hoping this will be short term if he will agree to counseling and begin the process. I know that is me controlling but I can't stop the fixer in me. I feel broken. Family is broken. Ol...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning Everyone- Today's reading is a focus on how fear can activate our character defects, and how very often fear is triggered by trying to control things over which we have no control. The writer mentions that leaving the present and worrying over the past or future is also a trigger for fear....

mamalioness · mamalioness

my a brother texted me and asked me if we could talk Of course I called him back and we just agreed to disagree on his drinking and we would be a loving brother and sister and basically he said again that he wanted to drink and get drunk but that he loved me and that I was always going to be his sissy and that...

PosiesandPuppies · PosiesandPuppies

So I am living in this weird space right now. According to one of my last posts (5 days ago), I told my AH that he had 3 choices. Seek treatment Do nothing and leave Do nothing and I will leave b/c I can't live this life anymore. I was officially done...MY bottom! In the meantime, AH's adult nephew has been t...

mamalioness · mamalioness

All my life I viewed life "as I wanted it- dreamed it- wished for it to be" Case in point...my nieces in CA..I have spoken to them re: possibly moving nearer to them and they are telling me all the rent they are gonna charge me, PLUS I have to get rid of my pets because they are "dogged" up according to the ci...

gratefulforafuture · gratefulforafuture

I am new here, but thought perhaps someone has been through something similar to my experience. After many years of trying to come to terms with my husband's alcoholism, I moved out with my 15-year old daughter. I do feel better in my own home, but my image of being able to leave the old "alcoholic impa...

luv123 · luv123

I am making that journey from head to heart with Mom right now because all this family dynamic is triggering old patterns in me. (fear for brother who just got out of detox for 2th time & after nearly dying for second time, anger and sadness & ppl pleasing to compensate over not feeling good e...

mamalioness · mamalioness

Well, tomorrow is the memorial service for my sister..I have called the girls, my BFF, my cousin, and NOBODY is home and I am feeling a bit lonely, so I thought I would stop in and say hello to my recovery mates and check up on how ya'll are doing I'm hanging in there..One day at a time..Also, I decided that I...

NatalieP · NatalieP

How does allowing the alcoholic suffer the consequences fit in with "putting down the sword" if the consequences are that they've done something or said something to cause hurt and anger? 3 years ago my AH & I split up for 6 months then reconciled. During the separation...actually only a day afte...

Sorcha · Sorcha

Good morning all, well my two weeks in my brother's house are up and my daughter and I are going home today. It's been a hard couple of weeks in ways, no contact, well no direct contact, just the neighbour getting the message to me that he went to the hospital with his liver but didn't stay in. I did call the n...

NCJo · NCJo

Hey Everyone! It has been a while since I have been on here. Everyone helped me so much when I was here previously. A little update on my situation- things ended up getting worse with my ABF, so I decided I just couldn't stay in the relationship any longer. I had made up my mind to end the relationship,...

H-MT · H-MT

I'm the only daughter of an alcoholic. Both of my parents are on vacation in Hawaii, my 30+ years of alcoholism mother got pneumonia there and has been in the ICU. She was on a reperaitor last night and they have removed all oxygen and she is breathing on her own. I talked to one of the nurses and he told me th...

Lyne · Lyne

Choices: The reading for today talks about discovering we have choices that we didn't know we had. And, if we are uncomfortable about something, we don't have to do it! The author says that this is true freedom. However, there will be times that we actually do have to do some things that we don't wan...

hotrod · hotrod

The ODAT Reading for today speaks about our tendency to dwell on past hurts and live in self pity and fear. The reading asks why do we continue to hurt ourselves in this manner? Is it because we have a hidden desire to suffer?. The reading points out that living on past hurts only ruins our presen...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Just need to say this (Preview) Yesterday I learnt that my husband relapsed and that this happened a year ago. Not my problem, just sad. With this awareness comes awareness of a lot of lies and those do hurt, although not as much as they used to. I've been away studying for ten months with occasional visits home. Now after my course ha...	milkwood	11	1220	Aug 27, 2017 by milkwood
	Banging my head on a brick wall (Preview) Hi everyone- just need to vent a little. My AH & I are in marriage counseling. He's desperately unhappy and depressed (surprise!) and I truly want to be support and loving. But-I'm starting to wonder if I'm stuck on step one and thinking I can do something to fix him. Like maybe he'll wake up &...	BethBethBeth	14	2865	Aug 27, 2017 by mamalioness
	Courage to Change (C2C) 8/26/17 (Preview) Better late than not at all !!! Today's reading is a great one - it's about denial. For many of us, when we find recovery, we are amazed how many signs were right in front of us, yet we acted as if there was not a problem. Some deny the alcoholic has a drinking issue, others are willing to blame the drinker f...	Iamhere	2	883	Aug 26, 2017 by hotrod
	ODAT Reading 8-25-2017 (Preview) The ODAT reading for today speaks about the confusion that many of us live in prior to finding alanon. It suggests that swirling thoughts and inappropriate actions were our go to reactions when confronted with choices. We did not know that "Easy Does It' or the serenity prayer could interrupt the...	hotrod	1	2363	Aug 25, 2017 by Iamhere
	Musing on life. (Preview) Well, I'm almost done with the project I bit off and I'm glad. Its clarified a lot of things for me and my soul journey, which is looking to be rather a lonely one, but one I willingly embrace because I will never fit in with typical and its ridiculous to try. I have to be me. Four months ago, I wrote a length...	a4l	6	1155	Aug 25, 2017 by andromeda
	Tired (Preview) My alcoholic mother fell and broke her leg for the second time this year. This time she admitted to the ER doctors that she had been mixing pills and vodka. They wouldn't let her go home at discharge for safety reasons so now she's in a skilled nursing facility to rehab her leg. She required a weaning prot...	LKSG8R	6	559	Aug 25, 2017 by pinkchip
	He's looking for women online (Preview) I'm feeling so sick. I've been lamenting and feeling horrible and having hope against hope for a reconciliation. He still has my things at his house and he's looking for someone else.	bud	14	3927	Aug 25, 2017 by SerenityRUS
	Dry-Ish BF and Lease Ending - Semi Long (Preview) Hi all, Newbie here! My BF and I have been dating for almost 4 years, aside from a short breakup after some infidelity on his part. He has always had an affection for alcohol and comes from a line of addicts, but I did not notice how bad until we moved in together about two years ago. About 3 months ago, I star...	curiouskate	12	3777	Aug 25, 2017 by curiouskate
	Hate the commercials and advertisements for alcohol (Preview) Just wondering if anyone else gets upset over seeing commercials and advertising for alcohol. It really angers me. We went to visit my son in another state. Every where you looked there was a billboard or a liquor/beer store. Seriously, how can anyone with an alcohol addiction try to move on when...	hummingbird1094	4	2193	Aug 25, 2017 by a4l
	Scared 20+ yr old child maybe going back down that road again (Preview) My son abused alcohol for years while living at home. Always denied he had a problem. Drank bottles of vodka, whiskey, etc. then would get mean and aggressive to his girlfriend. Vowed he would stop only to start again. We wanted to kick him out but he was finishing his college degree in a few months s...	hummingbird1094	8	2900	Aug 24, 2017 by mamalioness
	What do you say when they relapse? (Preview) Hi, brand new here. Looked through the sticky posts and didn't see this covered, but I'm fairly upset and may have just missed it -- please point me in the right direction if so, and I apologize. So, my wife is a high-functioning alcoholic who's been sober for 2+ years. She was able to hold down a high-p...	floatyaway	10	3695	Aug 24, 2017 by serenity47
	ODAT Reading 8-24-2017 (Preview) The ODAT reading for August 24. speaks about the importance of honesty and candor. The reading suggests that as we practice the program, using the slogans and steps we come to the acceptance of the fact that our behavior, like that of the alcoholic, has been far from sane and reasonable. It points out t...	hotrod	1	674	Aug 24, 2017 by Iamhere
	Courage To Change. August 23 (Preview) Good morning MIP! Today's reading in Courage to Change is about the fear of making mistakes. The author explains how even the smallest mistake could lead to an avalanche of accusations and abuse from the alcoholic and eventually themselves. Avoiding mistakes, covering every possible outcome, s...	Skorpi	8	606	Aug 23, 2017 by mamalioness
	First Al-anon Face to Face meeting (Preview) Hey Everyone! Thank you so much for everyone's great advice about how to support my ABF when he returns from rehab. It has help me mentally prepare to everything and to support him the best I can. I am planning to go to my first face to face al-anon meeting with my Future MIL. I am a little nervous about w...	NCJo	5	3097	Aug 23, 2017 by DavidG
	Everything Old is New Again... (Preview) Including me. I've started and stopped (support and self help) so many times I lost count but it's never too late to start anew on a clean page. Maybe, it has given me time to put more things into perspective. This time, however, I'm not really sure exactly how much perspective I need. (A little back hist...	Paloma Negra	3	2124	Aug 23, 2017 by Iamhere
	battling FEAR of loneliness, not loneliness itself (Preview) Good morning, I woke up thinking about this personal challenge for me and wondered if anyone on this board had some helpful thoughts. I have taken the step of moving out of my home and leaving my AH and I feel good about that. It was the right choice for me. I am happy with my apartment and blessed to have...	gratefulforafuture	11	4614	Aug 23, 2017 by gratefulforafuture
	New here. Lost in a lost world. (Preview) HiLast year I met the most wonderful women. Beautiful, witty, charming etc. We just clicked and have fallen madly in love. She was open from the start, she liked to drink. I enjoy a drink. But over the year i have realised there is drinking and drinking. I won't bore you as I am sure many members have a sim...	Ledclone	8	4735	Aug 23, 2017 by jitsuka
	HELP please! (Preview) For those of you who have read my previous posts, you know my adult daughter is an alcoholic. She lives far away from me, and that has caused numerous problems between us. This is my current situation. She relapsed again a couple of weeks ago. That was her second relapse in the last 3 months. She had compl...	Buckeye Girl	12	2910	Aug 22, 2017 by bud
	Hope for Today aug 22 (Preview) Good morning Everyone: This reading is about looking to our Higher Power and within ourselves to find everything we need. The writer mentions going to meetings in the beginning and looking for instruction on how to feel self respect and self esteem. The writer was looking to everyone in his/her li...	yanksfan51	3	4092	Aug 22, 2017 by bud
	Newbie. Need help how to handle situations (Preview) hi. I am new to alanon. Just went to my first face to face mtg last week. Different. Still looking around. Glad I found this site. ok. I am underatanding about the general rules, principles, but hazy on home to put into real world practice. Example: my husband brinks frequntly at night, usually 2...	Dancer66	11	4895	Aug 22, 2017 by Iamhere
	C2C 8/21/17 (Preview) Live your own life: Today's reading speaks about learning to stop focusing on others, and living in our life. We can accomplish this by practicing detachment, stop minding everyone else's business, developing awareness about ourselves, and learning to love ourselves. Searching for the real "...	Lyne	6	1340	Aug 21, 2017 by El
	when hope leaves - ESH please (Preview) I worked hard to sweep my side of the street and was prepared and looking forwawrd to practice keeping it clean. .... and I'll have that chance but not today and not with him. I had hope for reconciliation - nothing bad happened, he just said he lost his desire for me and for a relationship. He said he hates...	bud	21	4038	Aug 21, 2017 by bud
	Unnecessary Drama (Preview) One big red flag for me anymore are people who say I don't do drama .. LOL .. I look for the keyholes of drama going on in their life. I have drama in mine that is not mine and it irritates me a great deal. Trust me when I say yes .. I have drama and no I really don't enjoy it .. I think it's one of those things I have...	SerenityRUS	7	2203	Aug 20, 2017 by andromeda
	Stress and triggering (Preview) Hi all, I'm having an issue that is "eating " at me. Home is good and many things are on the right path otherwise, but I am projecting in the worst kind of way right now. Any suggestions or advice would be appreciated....though advice is not usually an aspect of Al-Anon. Anyway, I can not address this is...	Doingmybest	5	4377	Aug 20, 2017 by Doingmybest
	I don't even know what to say or what to do! (Long) (Preview) I don't know what is going on with my husband. I don't know if his decisions are due to his alcoholism, some form of ADHD or Narcissism, but I am on the verge of a breakdown with his actions. I'll start by saying the only reason I find anything out is because I snoop on my husband's online bank account, our ph...	Mapper	17	5057	Aug 20, 2017 by mamalioness
	Courage to Change 19/8 (Preview) Today's reading talks about loving someone who cant be trusted, this reality is difficult for us to face and so we suffer from 'disappointment of broken promises, contradictions and outright lies.' Each time it happens we feel crushed and outraged. Then hours or days later we put the incident out ou...	el-cee	4	849	Aug 20, 2017 by PosiesandPuppies
	Surrounded by alcoholics (Preview) I haven't been to a meeting before, but I think I'm overdue for one. I grew up literally surrounded by alcoholics. My Biological Father's side of the family. My parents divorced when I was 6 (in large part because of substance abuse). I would spend every other weekend and a few weeks in the summer (as wel...	Rockburn	5	930	Aug 20, 2017 by WestMan
	What does an AA member do differently to stay sober??? (Preview) I've always wondered how some of the AA members stay sober and recover after many years. Many go to meetings but relapse. I wonder what the difference is and what they do differently. My husband has been going to meetings for years and some counseling and every few months or less has a relapse. No bi...	wifeofalcoholic	10	3078	Aug 20, 2017 by Jerry F
	ODAT Reading 8-20-2017 (Preview) The ODAT reading for August 20 speaks about our tendency to keep the focus on others. It suggests that we do this because we believe we are always right, and want to fight for wha t"WE believe " is the right way and that others should do and believe what we believe. The reading suggests that we are not...	hotrod	2	3527	Aug 20, 2017 by Iamhere
	Various thoughts (Preview) Hey, guys :) Some stuff going on I want to share about. I have been true to my boundary so far of not giving my abf any money, not paying any of his bills and not buying him anything except maybe some food sometimes. Today I was brave enough to refuse lending him some money. He wrote me a message with this requ...	Aline	6	2307	Aug 19, 2017 by Aline
	ODAT Reading 8-19-2017 (Preview) The ODA T reading for August 19 speaks about attitudes. The reading points out that our attitudes toward another, drunk or not has a huge influence on our relationships. . It points out that with our habits of blaming, judging and showing contempt for their actions such as their neglect of obligati...	hotrod	2	1694	Aug 19, 2017 by Iamhere
	Our "relapse" and "slips" (Preview) I've spoke about emotional sobriety, how long I've been "clean and sober" from my unhealthy thinking, behavior, etc. To me, this is important. I have my triggers too -- I can be triggered by people, places, things, an innocent passing comment, who knows what else. I know when I have a "slip" -- I have to...	Bo	12	3567	Aug 19, 2017 by Doingmybest
	Read, Write, Talk... (Preview) Good morning Family...hope all is well with your all. You ever go to a Read, Write, Talk meeting? I attended my first one last evening and we used the Survival to Recovery book which is one that I like much. Instruction was to read first and then write and then share. Booo I begged out from the firs...	Jerry F	4	1948	Aug 18, 2017 by Jerry F
	At a loss.. (Preview) Hi there, I'm new to this. I have a sister, 39, who is an alcoholic. She is 7 days out of rehab and has already been drunk twice. She called me this morning at 7am and I had a feeling she had been drinking but didn't want to say anything until I knew for sure. When she's drunk she repeats herself within minutes...	Jbella	4	2716	Aug 18, 2017 by Jbella
	Trying to stay sane living with AH (Preview) It has been many years of sobriety, relapses, apologies, getting serious about meetings and counseling. You can't live life without hope and I have hung onto hope that this rotten disease would be managed and my husband would be sober like some people we have met. Unfortunately, I have been in the u...	wifeofalcoholic	11	2492	Aug 18, 2017 by wifeofalcoholic
	Courage to Change (C2C) 8/18/17 (Preview) Today's reading discusses Tradition 6 - "Our Al-Anon Family Groups ought never endorse, finance, or lend our name to any outside enterprise, lest problems of money, property and prestige divert us from our primary spiritual aim." The reading goes on to explain that even when a request has merit an...	Iamhere	2	2311	Aug 18, 2017 by hotrod
	Trying to remain strong (Preview) My ABF dried out over the weekend. Said all the right things. Come Monday he goes to work and drinks at work (his workplace has a fridge of alcohol that they provide for all the members of the company to drink at any time for free so even not hvaing money is no barrier which makes me quite angry). Anyway Trie...	MizzB	24	3179	Aug 18, 2017 by Iamhere
	Biting my tongue (off) and looking for the good (Preview) I have been biting my tongue so hard and often lately I am surprised I don't taste blood. I suppose it's a good thing; our program is sinking in and rather than confronting, debating, arguing, etc., I am letting a lot go. I know it just exaggerates an issue and makes for a really tense household. So, wi...	El	10	2950	Aug 18, 2017 by El
	The Merry go round can make you dizzy (Preview) Okay, So last month the AH had a bit of "wake up" after breaking the law, which could have turned out far worse him. He at the time realized things had gotten out of hand. That the way he was acting was not a true picture of his character. Well that positive thinking didn't last long. About two weeks ago whi...	Curlyblu	13	3515	Aug 17, 2017 by Flyfree
	Courage to Change (C2C) 8/17/17 (Preview) My apologies for the late post - had little people spend the night last night... Today's reading in courage to change discusses character defects. Many of us view them as traits we no longer need. Many of us have developed clever methods of surviving with the disease such as denial or secrecy. We le...	Iamhere	3	2563	Aug 17, 2017 by MizzB
	OT Request about information (Preview) I am at a loss at the moment and I am seeking information about my first X. All I need to know is a marriage date I actually have everything else. I need it for my job and to get my DL in TX. This is the most RIDICULOUS thing I have ever been through and we are talking about a marriage that has been done for over...	SerenityRUS	5	2174	Aug 17, 2017 by MizzB
	Courage and Looking for a Sponsor (Preview) I went to my first meeting on Monday and just listened. Tuesday my A son was drunk and I was beating myself up for not getting phone numbers. Today I went to a meeting, got there early and said I was new and needed numbers. One woman said there was a group list and she'd look for it. By the time the meeting was o...	Krystyna265	5	2557	Aug 17, 2017 by Jerry F
	C2C August 16 (Preview) Today's reading in Courage to Change is about self-care. The author reflects on how easy it can be to push ourselves to the limit and not take care of ourselves during stressful times. Getting enough sleep, going to a meeting, or calling a sponsor can seem like a waste of precious and limited time. But i...	Skorpi	7	2252	Aug 16, 2017 by YARNCRAZY
	Sad and Lonely (Preview) Sunday night I came home and my AH was very drunk. It's amazing how no matter how many times it happens it still surprises me. He was so drunk that what he said wasn't making sense, he was repeating himself and he reeked of booze and he was trying to grope me which just really made me feel sick to my stomac...	KT2015	10	1882	Aug 16, 2017 by wifeofalcoholic
	People Pleasing Makes Me Sick (Preview) Hi Alanon Family, I have had so many changes going on recently it's beginning to feel a bit overwhelming for me. I am not the one initiating these changes but they are things that require my participation. I've been trying to stay in touch with what I'm really feeling, do what is in front of me and remain...	tiredtonite	13	2816	Aug 16, 2017 by tiredtonite
	I just let him go!!!! (Preview) I spoke with my A brother today and it was a conversation I didn't need on top of all the sorrow and loss and grief thrown at me this YEAR!!! so hes going on and on and I just told him how sorrowful I felt because to me?? when Jane died, that was IT for me re: family Hes going on and on about how he "likes to drink.....	mamalioness	16	2679	Aug 16, 2017 by mamalioness
	Pain (Preview) Husband kicked out son last night. My mom said he was going to her house. She said they have to come here to get his things. I am hoping this will be short term if he will agree to counseling and begin the process. I know that is me controlling but I can't stop the fixer in me. I feel broken. Family is broken. Ol...	Bayley	11	3495	Aug 16, 2017 by el-cee
	Hope for Today aug 15 (Preview) Good morning Everyone- Today's reading is a focus on how fear can activate our character defects, and how very often fear is triggered by trying to control things over which we have no control. The writer mentions that leaving the present and worrying over the past or future is also a trigger for fear....	yanksfan51	7	1587	Aug 16, 2017 by Enigmatic
	therapy and changes today (Preview) my a brother texted me and asked me if we could talk Of course I called him back and we just agreed to disagree on his drinking and we would be a loving brother and sister and basically he said again that he wanted to drink and get drunk but that he loved me and that I was always going to be his sissy and that...	mamalioness	7	1246	Aug 16, 2017 by mamalioness
	My Weird Place (Preview) So I am living in this weird space right now. According to one of my last posts (5 days ago), I told my AH that he had 3 choices. Seek treatment Do nothing and leave Do nothing and I will leave b/c I can't live this life anymore. I was officially done...MY bottom! In the meantime, AH's adult nephew has been t...	PosiesandPuppies	15	3277	Aug 16, 2017 by milkwood
	facing reality???? (Preview) All my life I viewed life "as I wanted it- dreamed it- wished for it to be" Case in point...my nieces in CA..I have spoken to them re: possibly moving nearer to them and they are telling me all the rent they are gonna charge me, PLUS I have to get rid of my pets because they are "dogged" up according to the ci...	mamalioness	11	2741	Aug 14, 2017 by mamalioness
	left my alcoholic but still need help (Preview) I am new here, but thought perhaps someone has been through something similar to my experience. After many years of trying to come to terms with my husband's alcoholism, I moved out with my 15-year old daughter. I do feel better in my own home, but my image of being able to leave the old "alcoholic impa...	gratefulforafuture	12	2942	Aug 14, 2017 by Junenine
	Healing Choices & Boundaries (Preview) I am making that journey from head to heart with Mom right now because all this family dynamic is triggering old patterns in me. (fear for brother who just got out of detox for 2th time & after nearly dying for second time, anger and sadness & ppl pleasing to compensate over not feeling good e...	luv123	5	1873	Aug 14, 2017 by luv123
	Stopping in to say "hello" (Preview) Well, tomorrow is the memorial service for my sister..I have called the girls, my BFF, my cousin, and NOBODY is home and I am feeling a bit lonely, so I thought I would stop in and say hello to my recovery mates and check up on how ya'll are doing I'm hanging in there..One day at a time..Also, I decided that I...	mamalioness	6	3687	Aug 14, 2017 by Bo
	Hurt & anger as a consequence? (Preview) How does allowing the alcoholic suffer the consequences fit in with "putting down the sword" if the consequences are that they've done something or said something to cause hurt and anger? 3 years ago my AH & I split up for 6 months then reconciled. During the separation...actually only a day afte...	NatalieP	4	2377	Aug 14, 2017 by Bo
	Going home today.... (Preview) Good morning all, well my two weeks in my brother's house are up and my daughter and I are going home today. It's been a hard couple of weeks in ways, no contact, well no direct contact, just the neighbour getting the message to me that he went to the hospital with his liver but didn't stay in. I did call the n...	Sorcha	6	587	Aug 14, 2017 by Jerry F
	Rehab Support (Preview) Hey Everyone! It has been a while since I have been on here. Everyone helped me so much when I was here previously. A little update on my situation- things ended up getting worse with my ABF, so I decided I just couldn't stay in the relationship any longer. I had made up my mind to end the relationship,...	NCJo	5	2232	Aug 14, 2017 by Iamhere
	When to help (Preview) I'm the only daughter of an alcoholic. Both of my parents are on vacation in Hawaii, my 30+ years of alcoholism mother got pneumonia there and has been in the ICU. She was on a reperaitor last night and they have removed all oxygen and she is breathing on her own. I talked to one of the nurses and he told me th...	H-MT	5	2413	Aug 14, 2017 by Iamhere
	C2C 8/14/17 (Preview) Choices: The reading for today talks about discovering we have choices that we didn't know we had. And, if we are uncomfortable about something, we don't have to do it! The author says that this is true freedom. However, there will be times that we actually do have to do some things that we don't wan...	Lyne	5	2665	Aug 14, 2017 by Iamhere
	ODAT READING SUnday 8-13-2017 (Preview) The ODAT Reading for today speaks about our tendency to dwell on past hurts and live in self pity and fear. The reading asks why do we continue to hurt ourselves in this manner? Is it because we have a hidden desire to suffer?. The reading points out that living on past hurts only ruins our presen...	hotrod	3	2069	Aug 13, 2017 by bud
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.