The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
This reading is about looking to our Higher Power and within ourselves to find everything we need. The writer mentions going to meetings in the beginning and looking for instruction on how to feel self respect and self esteem. The writer was looking to everyone in his/her life except for self and Higher Power! One of the specific tools mentioned that the writer learned in program was letting go and trusting HP without forcing his/her own will-- and becoming more mature because of this. Another gift of the program is responsibility, being accountable- feeding a positive self esteem.
For me the last line of this reading says it all: "Working my program helps me become the adult I always dreamed of being."
This reading helped me remember some of the feelings I had when I first came to this program about 4 1/2 years ago. I really felt lost; I was in my early 40s and felt like a child who knew nothing about life and how I was going to try and live it! I have heard since about how this is a gentle program and that is such an accurate and comforting description! I have never felt pushed or that anyone was ever trying to force anything or ideas on me. The program has been what I make of it. In many ways I relate it to running- when I am consistent with my work, I feel strong and good. There are also times when my brain starts to tell me I don't feel like reading, or going to a meeting-- just the same brain that tries to get me to think that I could easily skip running a few miles. I always feel better when I push through, and I'm thinking, just as we learned there are some things that are simply good for us-- this program is good for me!
Good Morning Mary Thanks for sharing your thoughts on this important topic. I too found that I was extremely immature when i entered program . My attitudes reflected the immaturity of a teen and it was obvious that I had not accepted the lessons life tried to teach me in my early years.
I thought that I was able to do what I wanted, and overcome all obstacles, because I was all powerful and knew the right way. The rules did not apply to me. Alanon tools helped me to grow up and accept life on life's terms for which i am grateful.
Good morning all - I too love, love, love your new Avatar Mary! I appreciate your service and the daily, and appreciate ESH from both you and Betty.
I tend to laugh at myself sometimes as when I pause to consider tools, I often ask myself, "What would an adult do in this situation?" I can share that before recovery, I would shout, stomp my feet and have what I would consider the equal to a temper tantrum....I would then lash out at everything and everyone, and often bring up the past, throwing shade, blame and fault all over the place.
What I have learned to do instead is to pause and look at the facts. Then consider my emotions. Lastly determine what is mine and how can I add value instead of be part of the problem. I heavily rely on a power greater than I every waking hour of every waking day as I know that EGO of mine is always present, below the surface, ready to raise up should I not use this program.
I am grateful that this program, through working the steps, gave me a new way of 'seeing life'. I really used to think bad things only happened to me and my life was way worse than others and bla.bla.bla.bla....I was so stuck in projecting the bad and living in the negative. The program brought me to sanity - bad things happen to everyone and we are all doing the best we can with what we have. Some just have more than others, and that's OK - we were made this way.
Happy Tuesday to all - make it the best day possible...
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
