Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

lilms · lilms

Do any of the rest of you experience this??? My other half often uses humour as a weapon. I am finding more and more that something not quite inappropriate but not appropriate either will come out of her mouth. If I mention it I hear "you just don't have a sense of humour" It is starting t...

serendipity · serendipity

i had just read and replyed to diva's post last night and thought i'd go read then sleep. but as i was turning off the tv the host and the guest were discussing the mel gibson thing and the disease. so i sat and watched the segment. the host apparently is a recovering(?) alcholic and spoke from that point of...

bluebjade · bluebjade

Hello, everyone. My AH was off work Fri. thru Mon. Of course it was a four day drunk. He spent half a day with me and the rest with his drinking buddy. It may sound weird, but I was kinda glad he was gone, because I haven't been feeling well. Him and his buddy came in about...

jonibaloni · jonibaloni

"Often anger is a sign of engagement with life. People who are angered are touched deeply by the events of their lives and feel strongly about them. As an emotion, it has limitations and it certainly has very bad press, but my experience with ill people suggests that there is something healthy about it...

sandie123 · sandie123

It's been a tough week! I've done a whole lot of digging and finding things I haven't liked or enjoyed. There have been a lot of memories resurfacing, a lot of feelings, a lot of pain and a lot of awareness’s. I began my week wanting to remove the entire program from my brain, then wanted to get away from me,...

Dolphin123 · Dolphin123

Hi all, I haven't been on much since Saturday. We had a packed day at church on Sunday. Monday I was putting the final touches on a going away party that I had planned for my co-worker, who is also my best friend. She and her family are moving to Michigan. I haven't posted about it because I haven't allo...

Diva · Diva

about some tenets of AlAnon. Most pointedly that we need to remember the "alcohol is speaking." Is it really a teaching of Al Anon that we should dismiss any unkind, deceitful, hateful talk the "disease" talks, blaming it on the "disease", and excusing it for that reason? I don't quite get this prem...

nmike · nmike

Hi Alanoners, I was scheduled to attend a conference in Las Vegas last week. My burdens were heavy so I figured that I needed to do something different to get different results. The Grand Canyon is close to my home (as opposed to most visitors). I took the long way around and went through the Grand Cany...

Dolphin123 · Dolphin123

Hi all, Last night was a weird night. I had asked help from a funding source to help pay for part of the car repair, and that came through. They are going to pay some of it.

I also got news that they thought my car was going to be ready yesterday (Tuesday), but when they test drove it, the tranny...

maire rua · maire rua

How can I stop certain people treating me like a door mat and acting with no consideration. Today I dropped my son off at the airport, had informed people I would be late for work,yet the minute I came in the door, they descended on me with last minute requests. It really irritates me that people can const...

sparkette · sparkette

I tried something different today when I came to the board. Instead of posting first and reading your wonderful shares second… I decided to listen to y’all first and then see how that felt. What occurs to me is that I need to remember that multiple perspectives and encouragement are another way of allo...

Becky1 · Becky1

Sunday morning he had to go to work for a couple of hours. He got home, made us breakfast. I was just doing housework, and mentioned to him I'd like to paint the bedroom. He said really snappy "I don't care WHAT color you paint it" and I asked why he was being so mean, he said, well, he was...

debilyn · debilyn

Lets add sick to that. It hit me today, now i know what is making me not bounce back. I am sick. My tooth has hurt for weeks now. Have no dental insurance as medicare is all. So I have a tooth infection, no wonder I keep having nightmares and waking up feeling crummy.duh. Called around, I am on dis...

hersh · hersh

Hi everyone! Thought I would let you know about some progress I have been making. Yesterday I was angry, so angry. Angry when I left AH in the morning - the last thing I told him was the smell of alcohol made me sick to my stomach and I was beginning to fall out of love with him because of his dr...

mac57 · mac57

Sweet friend in my soul, my teacher, my liaison to myself, thank you for being in my life. I smile as I ponder this “spiritual urgency” as I am reminded that my spirit is not bound by the confines of time. And yet, I thank you for the help I am about to receive, and for which I eagerly await. I am rem...

sdisnie · sdisnie

So i've been doing what i'm supposed to do, let him figure it out on his own, he ran out of money, had no transportation and nowhere to go during day 5 of the binge, so last resort, ended up at the mom and dad's house (alcoholic activity there) Spoke with him yesterday, said he was trying to detox hims...

Cyn · Cyn

Saw my therapist yesterday and asked for assistance in making sure I was asserting myself properly. She said the timing was wrong - but that I am doing the right thing. I told her I didnt want to treat my boyfriend like a child - because he isnt a child. She said "sometimes they are - an...

Jill · Jill

Where does my anger come from? I don’t have a lot of experience with it until recently. I feel like a marionette, completely not in control. I’m a SHREW! Hating it, too. Any ESH is welcome. Tonight was bad!

jres · jres

to detach and yet still cohabitate with an A spouse? When there are very young children involved, they will no doubt be affected negatively right? To me this just seems like enabling, and I am having a very hard time understanding the concept. How can I love th...

MSKM301 · MSKM301

My husband has been using for at least 6yrs that I know of. He goes on binges lasting 4-18 hrs then a few weeks could go by before it happens again. He has gone months, but then the cycle starts again. He is young, but has major medical issues on top of using. I have been a stay at home mom for 5yrs, but have deci...

sandie123 · sandie123

I was talking to a friends last night. We were talking about fear and this led us into anorexia. It sent me into a panic, so I knew there was more than meets the eye on this topic. To start with I dislike food. It always seems like things revolve around food and this gets me so angry. I would be happy not ea...

hersh · hersh

Why does this feel so bad??? Everything was fine lastnight. I went to a face to face meeting, had a good time. I was calm. Then came home and AH was gone, fine. I figured he was out again, I just wanted to sleep. He comes home, buzzed, not really drunk, wants to...

Mike5056 · Mike5056

In our house my partner has cornered this room as her den. Obstensibly it is somewhere she can go to smoke as she is the only smoker in the family. Effectively however she uses it as her bolt hole where none of the family will bother her until she decides to take part in family life. At that point family life...

Cyn · Cyn

I know we are all in our own situation - my situation is one that I am not with an A anymore - but because of my previous relationships with A's I have to relearn correct ways to do things. I asserted myself last night, I feel like I give too much and not get anything in return - which is 100% my own faul...

jeeves · jeeves

Any luck with couples counseling? My A wife has spent time about four of the past 18 months in rehabs and is not working any sort of program at all. The one thing I can get her to do is go to a marriage counselor with me. The counselor is very good and we are learning h...

Cyn · Cyn

I started a post last night about asserting myself and got a phone call from my boyfriend and had to finish it quickly. Needless to say - the conversation ended VERY badly once again. I have to say this first - I am not ignorant to the fact that my boyfriend is going through some stressful sit...

kathy570 · kathy570

Hi there, I am in the process of filing out my ODSP papperwork and one of the problem I am having is depression. I am trying to write the self report and as I am writting about all the thibgs I can't do anymore or how & where my body hurts - I get really upset and can't write it. I already suffer f...

tishrijo · tishrijo

I was on the phone yesterday with my Mom and she made a comment that at first made me angry but then started me to thinking.....I am in the process of separating from my husband....I made the mistake at 17 years old of giving up everything and putting 150% into my marriage and family. I forgot to sav...

jonibaloni · jonibaloni

I have WORTH TODAY... Why?? Not because my house is meticulously clean 24/7.... it's not. Not because I am a subservient wife, running around all day in an A-pattern skirt and apron, pretending to be June Clever..... I don't. Not because my children behave 100% of the time, are perfectly pol...

daisy2 · daisy2

The Cracked Pot A wonderful story... An elderly Chinese woman had two large pots, each hung on the ends of a pole which she carried across her neck. One of the pots had a crack in it while the other pot was perfect and always delivered a full portion of water. At the end of...

omajoy · omajoy

Here it is Saturday morning. I have read all the new posts and responses and tried to glean what I need from them. I have found some relief from the weekend blues that come to our home. Our adult son is a weekend drinker and drinks alone. He always has these great plans on Friday and through the week to do thi...

Cyn · Cyn

So I finally figured out my biggest problem in life - asserting myself and getting the things I need and want and thinking about what is good for ME. A big lightbulb came on today after a fight my boyfriend and I have been having this week. We've been fighting consistently for the last couple of w...

notsonew1111 · notsonew1111

i just wanted to thank everyone for your replies. i already feel better just getting back on this message board with all of you. and you all have wonderful ideas that i will give a try. thank you so much. :)

Rita G · Rita G

This was given to us at the Louisiana State Al-Anon Convention. I'm sure some of you may have seen it before, but is was just so great not to share - Hope it helps you - I made a copy and put it where I could read it everyday to help me keep my focus on recovery. - Rita - Slogans In Action Just...

Reese · Reese

My son is 24 years old and he's an alcoholic. He's been out of the house for over 2 years now and has a roomate. He just ended up in the hospital with Alcohol posioning. When I went to see him, he was in restraints and on a suicide watch. I'm terrified to say the least. I know the drill. I know about enablin...

kerry5 · kerry5

A little girl had been shopping with her Mom in Target. She must have been 6 years old, this beautiful red haired, freckle faced image of innocence It was pouring outside. The kind of rain that gushes over the top of rain gutters, so much in a hurry to hit the earth it has no time to flow down the spout. We all...

Prancer · Prancer

this Loving Detachment that I hear about and how do you do it?

somethingtobemadabout · somethingtobemadabout

Hello - I am new to this board and am happy to have found it. I grew up with an alcoholic father, and thought I was OK with it. However I recently found out the person I thought was the love of my life, is also an alcoholic and suffers from depression. Long story short, I know he loves me - the...

omajoy · omajoy

Is there any way any of you have found to get your loved one into AA? Mine is a tough case, I guess. I have pointblank asked him to please attend meetings just to see if he could find help. He sometimes expresses that he wants to end the weekend drinking, he is sick of the way things are, and he "probably" need...

Dolphin123 · Dolphin123

Hi roomies, Well last night during the meeting my hubby called from Alaska to say that he was at the air port in Dutch Harbor and he would be flying into the airport here at 6:30am. Poor guy the first words out of my mouth were not loving kind words of a woman happy to have her hubby coming home my fir...

GreenGem · GreenGem

Just found you all and wanted to say hi. I have lurked on various al-anon boards over the years. This time I am going to try to stay. I have been married to my A for almost 15 years. He has just recently starting going to AA, and I fully support that. Our children need to see him sober...

sdisnie · sdisnie

Binge drinking is terrible part of alcoholism. Of course any type of alcoholism is bad, but with binge drinking you do get a taste of the real person underneath the disease. The binge drinker i know doesn't drink everyday, doesn't come home after work and drink until they pass out, doesn...

Lunamoth · Lunamoth

I feeling like my life just exploded. This afternoon I got a call from a nurse at a local clinic telling me that my Father was being taken by ambulance to the ER for a Heart Attack. My first reaction was where was my mother -- that was why she was calling. My mother has suffered fo...

debilyn · debilyn

I have myself back ok for the moment. But need to share/vent. A has not called again that I know of. Hearing, "you cannot rationalize insanity." In the Big Book I learned, along with get on program or die, was they also can go insane, no return kind. Anyway first I want to say, I was in the shower, aft...

cd2005 · cd2005

This is my first time on the board. My husband is an alcoholic but refuses to admit it. He hasn't worked in about 3 years because of health problems, some relating to his drinking. Though he won't admit he drinks, he's constantly talking about how he probably won't be around in 3 or 4...

Prancer · Prancer

Hello everyone. I came upon this place last night. Spoke to a few people and went to my first al-anon meeting in my city last night. I even participated briefly in the meeting this morning. There is so much to learn. I understand that he is sick. I have dealt with A's alo my li...

canadianguy · canadianguy

A little "gentle reflection" here.... Hi gang.... does anybody else struggle with that fine line that we often walk on here, between being supportive and loving to each other, vs. trying not to be giving advice, vs. almost 'enabling' each other in our journies of recovery? I try very hard...

whitie · whitie

My family had a reunuion this week in my home town and I was looking forward to spending my first reunion without my A husband since I left him last fall. My sister in law (sober 3 yrs) wanted to comfort me about my seperation as she had been through one several yrs ago before she met my brother. The...

Mobirdie · Mobirdie

If you haven't listened to them yet, do yourself a favor take the time to listen to them. I have listened to the first two and they are great. The second tape helped me put step 4 into perspective.

bluebjade · bluebjade

Hi everyone, My A is in a bad mood today, I could tell when I got out of bed and looked at him. He is off work today and as usual he always has someplace to go, but before he does, he tells me just how bad I am and the children too. How do I not argue with him, when I know what he is saying is not true?&...

krise · krise

I went to a face-to-face alanon meeting Sat. a.m. I haven't been to one in probably over six months, so feeling kinda proud of myself. It was a good meeting and I think I felt comfortable, because of all of the recent posting back and forth to people on here made me realize that these are the s...

Becky1 · Becky1

A friends sent me a little email that I thought might be a fun diversion for those of you who are interested. It was kind of interesting thinking about myself for a change instead of my A! I'll start! Here we go! Have fun with this, and we might learn a little about each other we didn'...

Christy · Christy

((friends))) My husband is in Alaska working for 3 months. He's been gone since the 19th. I really miss him, especially since I got used to having him here everyday for the last few months (recovering after hospital stay). On Aug 12th, he will be 6 mo. sober..wooohooo!!! Anyway, he sent me a...

abbyal · abbyal

H - hungry A- angry L - lonley T - Tired for 20 yrs now I have heard these words and come to understand that any one of these can hinder my reovery , get all four at once and WOW !!!! HEHE had a few of those days in early recovery. Recently at a meeting I found new definitions...

sdisnie · sdisnie

Thanks for the enabling responses, i pretty much have learned all that, but just one more question to clairfy it all, so doing things for them while they are 'using' is enabling, but if they are working on their sobriety, then doing things for them is not enabling, right? And allowing t...

mastiff · mastiff

Hi all, just wanted to write, i dont know, just to write lol. I've been a bit distant with the world lately so I'm trying to break out of that isolation I guess. Anyway, I was thinking about the last part of step 12 "Having had a spiritual awakining, we tried to carry this message to others and...

sdisnie · sdisnie

Thanks for the enabling responses, i pretty much have learned all that, but just one more question to clairfy it all, so doing things for them while they are 'using' is enabling, but if they are working on their sobriety, then doing things for them is not enabling, right? And allowing t...

sdisnie · sdisnie

Okay so a thing i'm confused with on the topic of enabling, here's the scenario: If you live with a binge drinker, out of the blue they go on a binge. You don't, or haven't said "if you do this again, your out of here!" you just don't really say anything, you try to go by the alanon rules and go...

sld488 · sld488

Just got in from work and was so tickled to see the replies to my post I made this morning.

The encourgement is wonderful. Christy, thru your insight and imput I see that If I make a decision that is best for me, it is ultimately best for my son. And leaving would have on...

beachbaby · beachbaby

Hi Everyone, I am having a good day today, looking forward to the weekend, hanging out with some aa and alanon friends. However, for months I have been struggling with the issue of loneliness, more of a lack of intimacy in my life. Not of the sexual nature just arms to hold me, some...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Humour as a weapon (Preview) Do any of the rest of you experience this??? My other half often uses humour as a weapon. I am finding more and more that something not quite inappropriate but not appropriate either will come out of her mouth. If I mention it I hear "you just don't have a sense of humour" It is starting t...	lilms	3	489	Aug 3, 2006 by tea2
	what i learn staying up late (Preview) i had just read and replyed to diva's post last night and thought i'd go read then sleep. but as i was turning off the tv the host and the guest were discussing the mel gibson thing and the disease. so i sat and watched the segment. the host apparently is a recovering(?) alcholic and spoke from that point of...	serendipity	5	583	Aug 3, 2006 by Tiger2006
	Tired of the vicioius circle (Preview) Hello, everyone. My AH was off work Fri. thru Mon. Of course it was a four day drunk. He spent half a day with me and the rest with his drinking buddy. It may sound weird, but I was kinda glad he was gone, because I haven't been feeling well. Him and his buddy came in about...	bluebjade	9	655	Aug 3, 2006 by bluebjade
	"ANGER", Rachel Naomi Remen, M.D. (Preview) "Often anger is a sign of engagement with life. People who are angered are touched deeply by the events of their lives and feel strongly about them. As an emotion, it has limitations and it certainly has very bad press, but my experience with ill people suggests that there is something healthy about it...	jonibaloni	4	1535	Aug 3, 2006 by annmarie
	Thank You for this program!!! (Preview) It's been a tough week! I've done a whole lot of digging and finding things I haven't liked or enjoyed. There have been a lot of memories resurfacing, a lot of feelings, a lot of pain and a lot of awareness’s. I began my week wanting to remove the entire program from my brain, then wanted to get away from me,...	sandie123	3	491	Aug 3, 2006 by ZiggyDoodles
	Feeling Blue (Preview) Hi all, I haven't been on much since Saturday. We had a packed day at church on Sunday. Monday I was putting the final touches on a going away party that I had planned for my co-worker, who is also my best friend. She and her family are moving to Michigan. I haven't posted about it because I haven't allo...	Dolphin123	9	628	Aug 3, 2006 by Idealsummerluv
	It has occurred to me to wonder... (Preview) about some tenets of AlAnon. Most pointedly that we need to remember the "alcohol is speaking." Is it really a teaching of Al Anon that we should dismiss any unkind, deceitful, hateful talk the "disease" talks, blaming it on the "disease", and excusing it for that reason? I don't quite get this prem...	Diva	11	641	Aug 3, 2006 by isabela40
	When in doubt go to the Grand Canyon! (Preview) Hi Alanoners, I was scheduled to attend a conference in Las Vegas last week. My burdens were heavy so I figured that I needed to do something different to get different results. The Grand Canyon is close to my home (as opposed to most visitors). I took the long way around and went through the Grand Cany...	nmike	8	789	Aug 3, 2006 by Idealsummerluv
	Emotional Night (Preview) Hi all, Last night was a weird night. I had asked help from a funding source to help pay for part of the car repair, and that came through. They are going to pay some of it. I also got news that they thought my car was going to be ready yesterday (Tuesday), but when they test drove it, the tranny...	Dolphin123	8	516	Aug 3, 2006 by isabela40
	Doormat situation (Preview) How can I stop certain people treating me like a door mat and acting with no consideration. Today I dropped my son off at the airport, had informed people I would be late for work,yet the minute I came in the door, they descended on me with last minute requests. It really irritates me that people can const...	maire rua	6	487	Aug 3, 2006 by maire rua
	Da Board (Preview) I tried something different today when I came to the board. Instead of posting first and reading your wonderful shares second… I decided to listen to y’all first and then see how that felt. What occurs to me is that I need to remember that multiple perspectives and encouragement are another way of allo...	sparkette	4	447	Aug 3, 2006 by abbyal
	I Hate Weekends (Preview) Sunday morning he had to go to work for a couple of hours. He got home, made us breakfast. I was just doing housework, and mentioned to him I'd like to paint the bedroom. He said really snappy "I don't care WHAT color you paint it" and I asked why he was being so mean, he said, well, he was...	Becky1	7	502	Aug 2, 2006 by maresie2
	should be HALTS (Preview) Lets add sick to that. It hit me today, now i know what is making me not bounce back. I am sick. My tooth has hurt for weeks now. Have no dental insurance as medicare is all. So I have a tooth infection, no wonder I keep having nightmares and waking up feeling crummy.duh. Called around, I am on dis...	debilyn	9	503	Aug 2, 2006 by maresie2
	Anger ceasing.... (Preview) Hi everyone! Thought I would let you know about some progress I have been making. Yesterday I was angry, so angry. Angry when I left AH in the morning - the last thing I told him was the smell of alcohol made me sick to my stomach and I was beginning to fall out of love with him because of his dr...	hersh	4	361	Aug 2, 2006 by Tammy
	a few questions for HP (Preview) Sweet friend in my soul, my teacher, my liaison to myself, thank you for being in my life. I smile as I ponder this “spiritual urgency” as I am reminded that my spirit is not bound by the confines of time. And yet, I thank you for the help I am about to receive, and for which I eagerly await. I am rem...	mac57	5	503	Aug 2, 2006 by Andrea12
	When is it Intervening to save a life vs. intervening and enabling (Preview) So i've been doing what i'm supposed to do, let him figure it out on his own, he ran out of money, had no transportation and nowhere to go during day 5 of the binge, so last resort, ended up at the mom and dad's house (alcoholic activity there) Spoke with him yesterday, said he was trying to detox hims...	sdisnie	9	662	Aug 2, 2006 by evey
	Went to my therapist (Preview) Saw my therapist yesterday and asked for assistance in making sure I was asserting myself properly. She said the timing was wrong - but that I am doing the right thing. I told her I didnt want to treat my boyfriend like a child - because he isnt a child. She said "sometimes they are - an...	Cyn	0	463	Aug 2, 2006 by Cyn
	help with anger (Preview) Where does my anger come from? I don’t have a lot of experience with it until recently. I feel like a marionette, completely not in control. I’m a SHREW! Hating it, too. Any ESH is welcome. Tonight was bad!	Jill	4	466	Aug 2, 2006 by hersh
	how is it possible? (Preview) to detach and yet still cohabitate with an A spouse? When there are very young children involved, they will no doubt be affected negatively right? To me this just seems like enabling, and I am having a very hard time understanding the concept. How can I love th...	jres	2	488	Aug 2, 2006 by nmike
	totally disgusted (Preview) My husband has been using for at least 6yrs that I know of. He goes on binges lasting 4-18 hrs then a few weeks could go by before it happens again. He has gone months, but then the cycle starts again. He is young, but has major medical issues on top of using. I have been a stay at home mom for 5yrs, but have deci...	MSKM301	7	455	Aug 2, 2006 by MSKM301
	Anorexia or Eating Disorder? (Preview) I was talking to a friends last night. We were talking about fear and this led us into anorexia. It sent me into a panic, so I knew there was more than meets the eye on this topic. To start with I dislike food. It always seems like things revolve around food and this gets me so angry. I would be happy not ea...	sandie123	7	786	Aug 1, 2006 by mastiff
	Guilt and ups and downs!! (Preview) Why does this feel so bad??? Everything was fine lastnight. I went to a face to face meeting, had a good time. I was calm. Then came home and AH was gone, fine. I figured he was out again, I just wanted to sleep. He comes home, buzzed, not really drunk, wants to...	hersh	3	551	Aug 1, 2006 by hersh
	Avoiding getting dragged into the morass. (Preview) In our house my partner has cornered this room as her den. Obstensibly it is somewhere she can go to smoke as she is the only smoker in the family. Effectively however she uses it as her bolt hole where none of the family will bother her until she decides to take part in family life. At that point family life...	Mike5056	7	658	Aug 1, 2006 by RichardA
	Asserting myself cont. (Preview) I know we are all in our own situation - my situation is one that I am not with an A anymore - but because of my previous relationships with A's I have to relearn correct ways to do things. I asserted myself last night, I feel like I give too much and not get anything in return - which is 100% my own faul...	Cyn	4	468	Aug 1, 2006 by rtexas
	Please Help. (Preview) Any luck with couples counseling? My A wife has spent time about four of the past 18 months in rehabs and is not working any sort of program at all. The one thing I can get her to do is go to a marriage counselor with me. The counselor is very good and we are learning h...	jeeves	10	619	Aug 1, 2006 by Becky1
	Not giving in (Preview) I started a post last night about asserting myself and got a phone call from my boyfriend and had to finish it quickly. Needless to say - the conversation ended VERY badly once again. I have to say this first - I am not ignorant to the fact that my boyfriend is going through some stressful sit...	Cyn	2	378	Aug 1, 2006 by mandalynn38
	I am so lost and tired of life (Preview) Hi there, I am in the process of filing out my ODSP papperwork and one of the problem I am having is depression. I am trying to write the self report and as I am writting about all the thibgs I can't do anymore or how & where my body hurts - I get really upset and can't write it. I already suffer f...	kathy570	8	655	Aug 1, 2006 by gardengal
	Please share your Experience/Ideas (Preview) I was on the phone yesterday with my Mom and she made a comment that at first made me angry but then started me to thinking.....I am in the process of separating from my husband....I made the mistake at 17 years old of giving up everything and putting 150% into my marriage and family. I forgot to sav...	tishrijo	10	469	Aug 1, 2006 by Tiger2006
	REMINDER for us WOMEN..... (Preview) I have WORTH TODAY... Why?? Not because my house is meticulously clean 24/7.... it's not. Not because I am a subservient wife, running around all day in an A-pattern skirt and apron, pretending to be June Clever..... I don't. Not because my children behave 100% of the time, are perfectly pol...	jonibaloni	6	535	Aug 1, 2006 by isabela40
	a wonderful story (Preview) The Cracked Pot A wonderful story... An elderly Chinese woman had two large pots, each hung on the ends of a pole which she carried across her neck. One of the pots had a crack in it while the other pot was perfect and always delivered a full portion of water. At the end of...	daisy2	5	413	Aug 1, 2006 by daisy2
	Sharing the emotions (Preview) Here it is Saturday morning. I have read all the new posts and responses and tried to glean what I need from them. I have found some relief from the weekend blues that come to our home. Our adult son is a weekend drinker and drinks alone. He always has these great plans on Friday and through the week to do thi...	omajoy	3	532	Aug 1, 2006 by Mike5056
	Asserting yourself (Preview) So I finally figured out my biggest problem in life - asserting myself and getting the things I need and want and thinking about what is good for ME. A big lightbulb came on today after a fight my boyfriend and I have been having this week. We've been fighting consistently for the last couple of w...	Cyn	3	437	Aug 1, 2006 by annmarie
	thank you (Preview) i just wanted to thank everyone for your replies. i already feel better just getting back on this message board with all of you. and you all have wonderful ideas that i will give a try. thank you so much. :)	notsonew1111	1	384	Aug 1, 2006 by Becky1
	Slogans in Action (Preview) This was given to us at the Louisiana State Al-Anon Convention. I'm sure some of you may have seen it before, but is was just so great not to share - Hope it helps you - I made a copy and put it where I could read it everyday to help me keep my focus on recovery. - Rita - Slogans In Action Just...	Rita G	4	631	Aug 1, 2006 by annmarie
	Help with my son (Preview) My son is 24 years old and he's an alcoholic. He's been out of the house for over 2 years now and has a roomate. He just ended up in the hospital with Alcohol posioning. When I went to see him, he was in restraints and on a suicide watch. I'm terrified to say the least. I know the drill. I know about enablin...	Reese	8	634	Aug 1, 2006 by doxie
	Need Washing?? (Preview) A little girl had been shopping with her Mom in Target. She must have been 6 years old, this beautiful red haired, freckle faced image of innocence It was pouring outside. The kind of rain that gushes over the top of rain gutters, so much in a hurry to hit the earth it has no time to flow down the spout. We all...	kerry5	6	456	Jul 31, 2006 by Ria
	What is (Preview) this Loving Detachment that I hear about and how do you do it?	Prancer	2	408	Jul 31, 2006 by debilyn
	Searching for hope (Preview) Hello - I am new to this board and am happy to have found it. I grew up with an alcoholic father, and thought I was OK with it. However I recently found out the person I thought was the love of my life, is also an alcoholic and suffers from depression. Long story short, I know he loves me - the...	somethingtobemadabout	9	578	Jul 31, 2006 by somethingtobemadabout
	getting him into AA (Preview) Is there any way any of you have found to get your loved one into AA? Mine is a tough case, I guess. I have pointblank asked him to please attend meetings just to see if he could find help. He sometimes expresses that he wants to end the weekend drinking, he is sick of the way things are, and he "probably" need...	omajoy	5	563	Jul 31, 2006 by lin0606
	He's Home! (Preview) Hi roomies, Well last night during the meeting my hubby called from Alaska to say that he was at the air port in Dutch Harbor and he would be flying into the airport here at 6:30am. Poor guy the first words out of my mouth were not loving kind words of a woman happy to have her hubby coming home my fir...	Dolphin123	6	457	Jul 31, 2006 by jonibaloni
	I'm new here too (Preview) Just found you all and wanted to say hi. I have lurked on various al-anon boards over the years. This time I am going to try to stay. I have been married to my A for almost 15 years. He has just recently starting going to AA, and I fully support that. Our children need to see him sober...	GreenGem	8	709	Jul 31, 2006 by Becky1
	Binge Drinking (Preview) Binge drinking is terrible part of alcoholism. Of course any type of alcoholism is bad, but with binge drinking you do get a taste of the real person underneath the disease. The binge drinker i know doesn't drink everyday, doesn't come home after work and drink until they pass out, doesn...	sdisnie	11	692	Jul 31, 2006 by rtexas
	Letting Go/Letting God - Prayers please (Preview) I feeling like my life just exploded. This afternoon I got a call from a nurse at a local clinic telling me that my Father was being taken by ambulance to the ER for a Heart Attack. My first reaction was where was my mother -- that was why she was calling. My mother has suffered fo...	Lunamoth	13	563	Jul 31, 2006 by kathy570
	Painful stuff (Preview) I have myself back ok for the moment. But need to share/vent. A has not called again that I know of. Hearing, "you cannot rationalize insanity." In the Big Book I learned, along with get on program or die, was they also can go insane, no return kind. Anyway first I want to say, I was in the shower, aft...	debilyn	10	626	Jul 31, 2006 by TLC2
	New to Board (Preview) This is my first time on the board. My husband is an alcoholic but refuses to admit it. He hasn't worked in about 3 years because of health problems, some relating to his drinking. Though he won't admit he drinks, he's constantly talking about how he probably won't be around in 3 or 4...	cd2005	3	447	Jul 31, 2006 by Ria
	New to the forum (Preview) Hello everyone. I came upon this place last night. Spoke to a few people and went to my first al-anon meeting in my city last night. I even participated briefly in the meeting this morning. There is so much to learn. I understand that he is sick. I have dealt with A's alo my li...	Prancer	7	610	Jul 31, 2006 by Prancer
	What is a "true friend" in recovery? (Preview) A little "gentle reflection" here.... Hi gang.... does anybody else struggle with that fine line that we often walk on here, between being supportive and loving to each other, vs. trying not to be giving advice, vs. almost 'enabling' each other in our journies of recovery? I try very hard...	canadianguy	7	1100	Jul 31, 2006 by Ria
	Alcoholism reared it's ugly head (Preview) My family had a reunuion this week in my home town and I was looking forward to spending my first reunion without my A husband since I left him last fall. My sister in law (sober 3 yrs) wanted to comfort me about my seperation as she had been through one several yrs ago before she met my brother. The...	whitie	4	551	Jul 31, 2006 by Karilynn
	Step tapes (Preview) If you haven't listened to them yet, do yourself a favor take the time to listen to them. I have listened to the first two and they are great. The second tape helped me put step 4 into perspective.	Mobirdie	1	390	Jul 31, 2006 by lin0606
	Dad day already (Preview) Hi everyone, My A is in a bad mood today, I could tell when I got out of bed and looked at him. He is off work today and as usual he always has someplace to go, but before he does, he tells me just how bad I am and the children too. How do I not argue with him, when I know what he is saying is not true?&...	bluebjade	8	582	Jul 31, 2006 by maire rua
	Faith and Hope (Preview) I went to a face-to-face alanon meeting Sat. a.m. I haven't been to one in probably over six months, so feeling kinda proud of myself. It was a good meeting and I think I felt comfortable, because of all of the recent posting back and forth to people on here made me realize that these are the s...	krise	1	471	Jul 30, 2006 by bluebjade
	Getting to Know You (A Fun Diversion) (Preview) A friends sent me a little email that I thought might be a fun diversion for those of you who are interested. It was kind of interesting thinking about myself for a change instead of my A! I'll start! Here we go! Have fun with this, and we might learn a little about each other we didn'...	Becky1	12	987	Jul 30, 2006 by jonibaloni
	Card from A (Preview) ((friends))) My husband is in Alaska working for 3 months. He's been gone since the 19th. I really miss him, especially since I got used to having him here everyday for the last few months (recovering after hospital stay). On Aug 12th, he will be 6 mo. sober..wooohooo!!! Anyway, he sent me a...	Christy	6	634	Jul 30, 2006 by david62
	H A L T a diff perspective (Preview) H - hungry A- angry L - lonley T - Tired for 20 yrs now I have heard these words and come to understand that any one of these can hinder my reovery , get all four at once and WOW !!!! HEHE had a few of those days in early recovery. Recently at a meeting I found new definitions...	abbyal	3	521	Jul 29, 2006 by Christy
	Thanks for the enabling responses-just one more to clarify.... (Preview) Thanks for the enabling responses, i pretty much have learned all that, but just one more question to clairfy it all, so doing things for them while they are 'using' is enabling, but if they are working on their sobriety, then doing things for them is not enabling, right? And allowing t...	sdisnie	2	377	Jul 29, 2006 by serendipity
	Practicing the Principles in all My Affairs... or at least trying too (Preview) Hi all, just wanted to write, i dont know, just to write lol. I've been a bit distant with the world lately so I'm trying to break out of that isolation I guess. Anyway, I was thinking about the last part of step 12 "Having had a spiritual awakining, we tried to carry this message to others and...	mastiff	3	516	Jul 29, 2006 by abbyal
	Thanks for the enabling responses-just one more to clarify.... (Preview) Thanks for the enabling responses, i pretty much have learned all that, but just one more question to clairfy it all, so doing things for them while they are 'using' is enabling, but if they are working on their sobriety, then doing things for them is not enabling, right? And allowing t...	sdisnie	5	506	Jul 29, 2006 by abbyal
	Is this enabling? (Preview) Okay so a thing i'm confused with on the topic of enabling, here's the scenario: If you live with a binge drinker, out of the blue they go on a binge. You don't, or haven't said "if you do this again, your out of here!" you just don't really say anything, you try to go by the alanon rules and go...	sdisnie	5	656	Jul 29, 2006 by RichardA
	Replies to my Cries :w00t: (Preview) Just got in from work and was so tickled to see the replies to my post I made this morning. The encourgement is wonderful. Christy, thru your insight and imput I see that If I make a decision that is best for me, it is ultimately best for my son. And leaving would have on...	sld488	2	529	Jul 29, 2006 by Becky1
	Longing for Intimacy (Preview) Hi Everyone, I am having a good day today, looking forward to the weekend, hanging out with some aa and alanon friends. However, for months I have been struggling with the issue of loneliness, more of a lack of intimacy in my life. Not of the sexual nature just arms to hold me, some...	beachbaby	2	570	Jul 29, 2006 by Becky1
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.