Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

Today has been the worst day! My A came over last weekend and I believe he drank my son's codeine cough syrup and then watered it down. It was the consistency of honey and now it's like water. I am tired of questioning myself. He has every possible story in the book and swears up and down he didn't do it and I s...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

Ok so last night was a miserable night. Today is better. Last night I talked to my neice who is 20 and told her about the cough syrup dilemma. She just kept saying that she couldn't believe that he would steal medicine from a baby. I don't know why I found that amusing. I didn't even care that he took it I...

Phil · Phil

"I loved my husband. I thought I couldn't live without him," said Nancy L. "But I also hated him. I hated that he wasn't the husband or father I knew he could be." At first, Nancy didn't recognize that her husband was drinking heavily and using marijuana and cocaine. However, she realiz...

Juster · Juster

I have been reading all of the postings about how the A's always seem to have an excuse or a reason to drink. Most of them sound fairly absurd - and really are just excuses. My AW has never said why she feels like she has to drink, but I have a suspicion that I might know one of the main reasons. ...

Christy · Christy

I came across this analogy of Letting Go vs. Giving up and thought I'd share. In Thailand, they trap monkeys by tethering a coconut shell to a stake in the ground. They cut a hole in the shell just big enough for a monkey's hand and then put a piece of fruit in the shell. Then they hide and wait. A monkey w...

Lauren ashley · Lauren ashley

Yes,I was in a horrible car accident today at about 605pm.It was the scariest thing that has ever ever happened to me. I literally saw my life flash right before my eyes. Ok I was getting onto the fwy and there was a red light as I got on I saw a puddle of water from a nearby sprinkler I went over the water and...

Barbara · Barbara

Anyone planning on attending either the AlAnon convention in Nashua NH? or the AA w/AlAnon convention in Framingham MA this Nov? Havent heard too much about it. Havent heard about it in my f2f either

Lunamoth · Lunamoth

((((Everyone)))) I survived the camp out ...and so did my program. I sit here and shake my head in unbelief, it was wonderful, insane, joyful, sickening and pleasant -- talk about a rollercoaster. Ah well, I learned a lot and have been wondering what my HP was trying to show me. ...

Andrea12 · Andrea12

Hello Dear Friends, Well it is 3:30 in the morning and I just can't sleep....so much has happened these past few days.....I am finding things out that my husband did to me every day...and it is not a good thing.... To date, I have received 3 letters from magistrates, he stole my check book and so...

debilyn · debilyn

ok where are you two?

Elizabeth M · Elizabeth M

Well my Ah is away for one week and instead of spending his last night home with me he was out till 4 am at our local bar. Up and left without a word. Will have to work hard on my own program not to sit on the pity pot too long. Hard not to feel bad since he had been trying so hard to control his d...

Cilla · Cilla

A while back somebody posted questions that they had learned to ask themself. I found this an excellent source to use during times of confusion. So what is going on with me? I'm trapped between having the need to feel hurt but at the same time know that good can come from this situation. ...

Gailey · Gailey

Absolutely!!! 3 things in the past couple of weeks have been on my mind with regard to taking care of myself. 1) Losing weight I have been trying to decide about a program that I used to do online. It is based on a book called "Potatoes Not Prozac". It is for healing addiction with nutritio...

purplebutterfly · purplebutterfly

I am tired of my A accusing me of lying and haveing an internet affair. saying im doing things i havent dont. Im losing my mind. I deep down wanna leave but am scared and afraid. IM so ashamed of me. I do nothing and im no good. I do all the house chores etc says i give my daughter money when i d...

maresie2 · maresie2

On top of the A who collects chaos by the second, I also have to deal with a dysfunctional workplace. I work in a corporation and they tend to hire college age kids who don't have work experience. They then sort of train them by immersion. I work part time in 2 locations stepping in for the m...

lilms · lilms

Hi all, Have a question. I have never given birth to a child. Have raised one and I know I would go to the ends of the earth for her. I can't imagine how things would be for a child I had carried and birthed. So, here is my question. My A stepdaughter has been in trouble more tha...

laurab · laurab

I'm new. My A is my 29 year old son. Finally after 6 years of my enabling in every way I could, thousands of dollars, police, lawyers, smashed cars and no real consequences, he is up against it alone. I hope it is the bottom, but I'm not certain. His wife is gone. He lost his house. He has no money. He...

rtexas · rtexas

((((Everyone)))) Since our seperation a scant 5 days ago, there has been panic attacks about being alone, threats of suicide, tears and begging to just work out her sobriety together and finally she has already said she is getting to not want to come home and wants the number to our EAP so she can cont...

lmt123 · lmt123

Just wondered, any news about the cookbooks? Maybe I missed it on the board... Thanks, Kathi

marmare · marmare

Okay it was a wonderful interview!!! I WOWED him!!! I have a ride along tomorrow and an interview after that to see if this is what I want to do and if they want me!!!! Hugs Mary -- Edited by marmare at 21:14, 2006-10-25

greta · greta

My daughter was critically injured in a car accident. Her best friend was killed and my daughter and another friend were in bed, wheelchairs, cruthes, surgeries for over 2 1/2 years. Physically my daughter can now walk and is doing ok. Looking back i suspect that she became addic...

ally · ally

Hi Roomies I don't quite know how to start this, so I will just be Ally, and come right out with it. Someone came into the chat room the other night and said "the acoa meeting is just about to start, is anyone comming in. So the chat room was quiet, and I went in. I had been in a few times already before, I list...

Gailey · Gailey

I sent you a private message. you can retrieve that by looking at the top of the index page.

DeAnna · DeAnna

i was dealing pretty good with my hub an A. Was going back to school, figured if he works out his end, we' d have a good life. He increasely drank more each year of 18 years together. 2 kids. 2 dogs. Last 2 weeks I found out he cheated on me. He was so drunk & telling someone on th...

DoN4me · DoN4me

Woke up this morning in a great mood. Went to work I got an email from my A first thing this morning, so I was feeling a little vunerable. Then a little while later I got a call from mom asked me to go to lunch so I said sure that would be fun. My mom and I have a strange re...

sensitive1 · sensitive1

Greetings all! let me tell ya my story. my mother started to drink when I was 14/15 and became a full time drinker when I was 16. Before then she was a warm loving quiet person. But now she is cold and her life is all bout the booze. Well this has hurt me of course and it has allowed me to N...

Gailey · Gailey

Just left work to go to a podiatrist appointment and when I got there I found out the appointment was last Wednesday. She is not even in the office on Tuesday. Luckily, I could reschedule for tomorrow and the receptionist didn't say anything about charging me for a missed appointment. I really nee...

Jennifer · Jennifer

Hello (((everyone))) 3 days without a phone .... doesn't seem like much. Not being able to get to the board and not being able to contact people I needed to made it a long three days. i feed the squirrels corn on the cob, there is a walnut tree in the backyard ... you'd think they have better things to eat t...

Phil · Phil

Adults who grew up with alcoholic parents probably have plenty to be mad about. As children, they were virtually powerless to stop the forms of abuse and neglect they often suffered. They couldn't express their anger or outrage in a healthy manner. Instead, many either acted out their...

Phil · Phil

"If you want to make God laugh, just tell Him your plans." This old Jewish proverb is especially familiar to people in recovery from addiction, but everyone can glean some meaning from these time-tested words. They serve as a gentle reminder that most of what happens in our life and in th...

arty · arty

Just to let everyone of you know that i read all the posts looking for inspiration, and i find it in each and evey reply to every message here. The most valuable time in my day is spent reading here. I learn so much from all your experiences and i am very greatful for the existance of this site. With my wo...

annmarie · annmarie

Hi everyone, Can anyone tell me if there is a workbook I can buy that will help me with the steps? I have to go back to step one, and am having problems with "my life becoming unmanagable". I understand I probably am experience a block called denial, but as far as I can see at the moment, I have pretty muc...

arty · arty

Many months ago I went to a shrink to discuss how to help my A as his general behaviour was extremely destructive back then...even when he wasnt drinking. In my session, the same point kept coming up. should i stay or should i go? Her advice to me was to make up my mind and stick to my decision. So i decid...

Wind · Wind

Hello all, First off I want to thank those of you that were so wonderful to me in the chat room tonight. You have inspired me to go ahead and ask for the help I know I need. Why is it so hard to ask for help sometimes? Anyway, I am from Urbana,Illinois and am looking for a support system. I have a 31 year old dau...

hersh · hersh

(((Hi everyone)))) What happens when you just feel through, but not ready to make the change yet? I have been escaping AH all last week and feeling good, doing my own thing. He still drinks horribly after 3 days of sobriety, usually beginning Monday, then drinks Wed or Thurs unt...

Busbe · Busbe

Reading about TTs stuff gives me permission to let go of a sick A neighbor who blamed us earlier for reporting his barking dog and some dirt pile he had out in front. I didnt get mad at him that day when he came to the house. But then I really got po'd at him and preceded to tell him OFF...Wel...

debilyn · debilyn

I'm sorry, I did not see your post. No I guess I am not ok. But I am sure will be again someday, just not today. Really into the one day at a time. Thank you for asking about me. Means a lot to me. Yes i miss Chief. He was a big part of Eden. Estersue and I took a nap and we cried together today. S...

kismetstrand · kismetstrand

Dear ((((((((((txmom))))))))))) Been thinking of you a whole lot this month. Remembering the shock and grief we all felt hearing of dadrrb's passing.... So glad we could all be here for you during that time. Remembering watching you grow in the program and finding your love for him again, even o...

marmare · marmare

Okay, little prayers and good thoughts, I have an interview at 2pm. Hugs Mary

purplebutterfly · purplebutterfly

Why do I feel so guilty about speaking to my own mom? My A makes me feel this way. I didnt speak to my mom for a few yrs cause of a bunch of issues. My dry does not like my family at all. Blames my mom because of my sickness. My was drunk during caring me. I am at peace with it now. I accept it. I dont feel comfortable...

marmare · marmare

Hi All, My A and I had a wonderful fun time planned Saturday night, we went to see X-Treme fights, which I very much enjoy. Somehow it turned all wrong, I became what I thought was angry and left and went to the car and we went home. I said hurtful things and it has taken me two days to figure ou...

TLC2 · TLC2

My A has gone away for a few days with a couple guys, who I know will be drinking, will I ever stop thinking the worst?? I feel it will truly be a miracle if he comes back sober. While I'm develeping an ulcer..., please pray for us. Love TLC

hudsond · hudsond

It never ceases to amaze me-the level of selfishness an a has. My ah has been crazy off and on about him having to get rid of his stuff to bring in some money so we can pay for a lawyer for this latest bout with the law. I am BROKE!!! I can't get another loan b/c of debt to income ratio--not t...

rtexas · rtexas

((((Everyone)))) In talking with my grouchy old ASober Father this weekend, he told my AW and I some stories I had never heard. I love my Dad, he is a great guy. He quit drinking on his own for 6 months when he was in his early 30's. He was at his brothers house and was offered a beer....

kabbie · kabbie

My husband and I don't always see eye to eye on how to work with our 22 year old alcoholic daughter. (She is 30 plus days sober in a rehab facility, grateful for that!) I lived for 8 years with an A (my daughter's father, go figure) before leaving and marrying my current husband, not an A. I'm further alon...

Becky1 · Becky1

OK, those of you who know me know I am "madly in love" with country music star, Keith Urban. LOL He married Nichole Kidman 4 months ago. He just admitted himself (or she admitted him) to rehab again. He's been thru this before. She had him sign a pre-nup about his drug and alc...

raechill · raechill

i guess i am just feeling condemnee ; i just can't stop stuffing my face and i am always feeling like things will never get better

rtexas · rtexas

(((((Everyone))))) Is it by chance that my work has allowed me to make my recovery almost a full time job for the past 8 months? Is it by chance that when my AW is trying to tell me on the phone that I am being a bad father and husband that I just so happen to be at my grandparents gravesite reading the smal...

Diva · Diva

I have considered the slogan, "Say what you mean, but don't say it mean." Aside from the fact that I have difficulty with the incorrect grammar of that one, I wonder; why can't we say it "mean?" If I were not angry at the time, I would say nothing at all. This slogan encourages us to stifle any anger we may fe...

ollie · ollie

Hi to all, Yes im feeling sad,but not sure how im supposed to be. H and myself been apart(my choice) since may,due to me throwing him out ,since then he has had to live in a salvation army refuge due to having nowhere to go. Over the last month there has been a vast improvement in him ,finding him a goo...

Cilla · Cilla

Hopefully I am finally seeing some success. My 13 year old son has been going through quite a difficult period in his life. He has caused some very dire consequences for himself and yet I am fortunate to have the insight of realizing how this disease does affect the family through it's man...

Rita G · Rita G

Ever hear of a housewarming party without a House - Well that's what I'm doing!!! - I am living the "Fake it til ya make it" in every bit of my life. As some you may know it has been a tough few months for us, with our daughter Ashley, I have had some health problems and having trouble diagnosing th...

Lauren ashley · Lauren ashley

I am so very hurt,irate,and confused. I do not know what I want anymore. I am tired of my life always being so challenging. I cannot form lasting relationships with anyone, not even with alanoners. I am scared I will be let down once again, and I don't think I could bare another let down. I do not even have a...

bev · bev

it has been a while since i posted.but on oct 8 i went on my cruise with my mother in law for 8 days,it was so much fun looking forward to going again..we got home from our cruise on sunday oct 15 during our cruise and our ride back home from miami my mother had talked to my father in law a few times to see how he wa...

annmarie · annmarie

Hi Everyone, I have learned in the past week that I need to try to respond rather than react to myA. I have been confused with detatchment and boundary setting in the last while. I have been unwittingly "reacting" to his behaviour and thought I was, in doing so, making my...

debilyn · debilyn

did something for me!!! My doctor friend invited me to his party with lotsa his friends up in the "city." I asked Raini, my daughter to go with me. It was fancy shmancy. I did not really know this. lol I had to drive to the train station, sit in a train for like almost 3 hours. Ride up was pretty....

debilyn · debilyn

Subject: [Cat-A-List] My horse with wings, has flown away Went to feed and Chief, my appy/paint was down. horrible. send message to my animal groups. this is a sad story. but part of it all. thank you for your loving thoughts. NO question, I could feel it. All of a sudd...

TLC2 · TLC2

Sure would love to hear from you. I know you are going through a really hard time right now. Don't forget that we are here for you, and love you very much! I read your post about Chief, and cried for you. My horse is 18 and I know the day will come sooner than I like to think, I also have a cat who is 14. Picture C...

Jennifer · Jennifer

Just wanted to share a song that touched me ... not quite the impact of hearing it but close. Sorry for the reference to a particular HP, please replace with your preference.

The whole CD this is on sounds like a sound track to my life for the last year, and it's kept me sane for about the same amount...

Tammy · Tammy

Today is a new day and I will thank my HP for that.. I have been struggling with this seperation with days of feeling I can not do this.. My husband is still living in the camper and has been sober 6 weeks with the exception of the one night he drank on the anniversery of his mothers death. I have been real...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Miserable Day! (Preview) Today has been the worst day! My A came over last weekend and I believe he drank my son's codeine cough syrup and then watered it down. It was the consistency of honey and now it's like water. I am tired of questioning myself. He has every possible story in the book and swears up and down he didn't do it and I s...	carolinagirl	5	281	Oct 27, 2006 by hersh
	Perspective (Preview) Ok so last night was a miserable night. Today is better. Last night I talked to my neice who is 20 and told her about the cough syrup dilemma. She just kept saying that she couldn't believe that he would steal medicine from a baby. I don't know why I found that amusing. I didn't even care that he took it I...	carolinagirl	1	233	Oct 27, 2006 by rtexas
	Family members can untangle from a loved one's addiction (Preview) "I loved my husband. I thought I couldn't live without him," said Nancy L. "But I also hated him. I hated that he wasn't the husband or father I knew he could be." At first, Nancy didn't recognize that her husband was drinking heavily and using marijuana and cocaine. However, she realiz...	Phil	1	446	Oct 27, 2006 by JulieLynn
	Maybe Some Do Have a Reason (Preview) I have been reading all of the postings about how the A's always seem to have an excuse or a reason to drink. Most of them sound fairly absurd - and really are just excuses. My AW has never said why she feels like she has to drink, but I have a suspicion that I might know one of the main reasons. ...	Juster	6	475	Oct 27, 2006 by Juster
	Difference of Letting Go vs. Giving up (Preview) I came across this analogy of Letting Go vs. Giving up and thought I'd share. In Thailand, they trap monkeys by tethering a coconut shell to a stake in the ground. They cut a hole in the shell just big enough for a monkey's hand and then put a piece of fruit in the shell. Then they hide and wait. A monkey w...	Christy	2	385	Oct 27, 2006 by greta
	I almost died tonight (Preview) Yes,I was in a horrible car accident today at about 605pm.It was the scariest thing that has ever ever happened to me. I literally saw my life flash right before my eyes. Ok I was getting onto the fwy and there was a red light as I got on I saw a puddle of water from a nearby sprinkler I went over the water and...	Lauren ashley	18	583	Oct 27, 2006 by leo
	Nov AlAnon convention in NH, AA w/AlAnon in MA - anyone going? (Preview) Anyone planning on attending either the AlAnon convention in Nashua NH? or the AA w/AlAnon convention in Framingham MA this Nov? Havent heard too much about it. Havent heard about it in my f2f either	Barbara	2	335	Oct 27, 2006 by Barbara
	Boy Scouting and Booze (Preview) ((((Everyone)))) I survived the camp out ...and so did my program. I sit here and shake my head in unbelief, it was wonderful, insane, joyful, sickening and pleasant -- talk about a rollercoaster. Ah well, I learned a lot and have been wondering what my HP was trying to show me. ...	Lunamoth	8	462	Oct 26, 2006 by isabela40
	Filing Charges against my husband (Preview) Hello Dear Friends, Well it is 3:30 in the morning and I just can't sleep....so much has happened these past few days.....I am finding things out that my husband did to me every day...and it is not a good thing.... To date, I have received 3 letters from magistrates, he stole my check book and so...	Andrea12	14	536	Oct 26, 2006 by peewee
	Isabela??? Or.arty??? (Preview) ok where are you two?	debilyn	2	253	Oct 26, 2006 by isabela40
	farewell party (Preview) Well my Ah is away for one week and instead of spending his last night home with me he was out till 4 am at our local bar. Up and left without a word. Will have to work hard on my own program not to sit on the pity pot too long. Hard not to feel bad since he had been trying so hard to control his d...	Elizabeth M	2	273	Oct 26, 2006 by Christy
	What is going on with me? (Preview) A while back somebody posted questions that they had learned to ask themself. I found this an excellent source to use during times of confusion. So what is going on with me? I'm trapped between having the need to feel hurt but at the same time know that good can come from this situation. ...	Cilla	1	370	Oct 26, 2006 by debilyn
	HP is talking...am I listening? (Preview) Absolutely!!! 3 things in the past couple of weeks have been on my mind with regard to taking care of myself. 1) Losing weight I have been trying to decide about a program that I used to do online. It is based on a book called "Potatoes Not Prozac". It is for healing addiction with nutritio...	Gailey	1	262	Oct 26, 2006 by TLC2
	being accused (Preview) I am tired of my A accusing me of lying and haveing an internet affair. saying im doing things i havent dont. Im losing my mind. I deep down wanna leave but am scared and afraid. IM so ashamed of me. I do nothing and im no good. I do all the house chores etc says i give my daughter money when i d...	purplebutterfly	6	280	Oct 26, 2006 by purplebutterfly
	Boundaries Boundaries Boundaries (Preview) On top of the A who collects chaos by the second, I also have to deal with a dysfunctional workplace. I work in a corporation and they tend to hire college age kids who don't have work experience. They then sort of train them by immersion. I work part time in 2 locations stepping in for the m...	maresie2	3	263	Oct 26, 2006 by TLC2
	What would you do? (Preview) Hi all, Have a question. I have never given birth to a child. Have raised one and I know I would go to the ends of the earth for her. I can't imagine how things would be for a child I had carried and birthed. So, here is my question. My A stepdaughter has been in trouble more tha...	lilms	8	343	Oct 26, 2006 by shelbelly
	I'm so scared. I need courage. (Preview) I'm new. My A is my 29 year old son. Finally after 6 years of my enabling in every way I could, thousands of dollars, police, lawyers, smashed cars and no real consequences, he is up against it alone. I hope it is the bottom, but I'm not certain. His wife is gone. He lost his house. He has no money. He...	laurab	8	580	Oct 26, 2006 by laurab
	Well... probably no better time to work on my 4th (Preview) ((((Everyone)))) Since our seperation a scant 5 days ago, there has been panic attacks about being alone, threats of suicide, tears and begging to just work out her sobriety together and finally she has already said she is getting to not want to come home and wants the number to our EAP so she can cont...	rtexas	7	402	Oct 26, 2006 by Juster
	MIP cookbooks... (Preview) Just wondered, any news about the cookbooks? Maybe I missed it on the board... Thanks, Kathi	lmt123	1	256	Oct 26, 2006 by Maria123
	Interview (Preview) Okay it was a wonderful interview!!! I WOWED him!!! I have a ride along tomorrow and an interview after that to see if this is what I want to do and if they want me!!!! Hugs Mary -- Edited by marmare at 21:14, 2006-10-25	marmare	9	322	Oct 26, 2006 by Karilynn
	I need to share this.. (Preview) My daughter was critically injured in a car accident. Her best friend was killed and my daughter and another friend were in bed, wheelchairs, cruthes, surgeries for over 2 1/2 years. Physically my daughter can now walk and is doing ok. Looking back i suspect that she became addic...	greta	7	458	Oct 26, 2006 by Karilynn
	LIVING A LIE (Preview) Hi Roomies I don't quite know how to start this, so I will just be Ally, and come right out with it. Someone came into the chat room the other night and said "the acoa meeting is just about to start, is anyone comming in. So the chat room was quiet, and I went in. I had been in a few times already before, I list...	ally	10	572	Oct 26, 2006 by ally
	laurab----private message (Preview) I sent you a private message. you can retrieve that by looking at the top of the index page.	Gailey	0	257	Oct 26, 2006 by Gailey
	barely there (Preview) i was dealing pretty good with my hub an A. Was going back to school, figured if he works out his end, we' d have a good life. He increasely drank more each year of 18 years together. 2 kids. 2 dogs. Last 2 weeks I found out he cheated on me. He was so drunk & telling someone on th...	DeAnna	5	283	Oct 26, 2006 by TLC2
	In a funky mood today (Preview) Woke up this morning in a great mood. Went to work I got an email from my A first thing this morning, so I was feeling a little vunerable. Then a little while later I got a call from mom asked me to go to lunch so I said sure that would be fun. My mom and I have a strange re...	DoN4me	5	288	Oct 26, 2006 by DoN4me
	Lack of Trust (Preview) Greetings all! let me tell ya my story. my mother started to drink when I was 14/15 and became a full time drinker when I was 16. Before then she was a warm loving quiet person. But now she is cold and her life is all bout the booze. Well this has hurt me of course and it has allowed me to N...	sensitive1	3	285	Oct 26, 2006 by sensitive1
	My life is unmanageable (Preview) Just left work to go to a podiatrist appointment and when I got there I found out the appointment was last Wednesday. She is not even in the office on Tuesday. Luckily, I could reschedule for tomorrow and the receptionist didn't say anything about charging me for a missed appointment. I really nee...	Gailey	4	447	Oct 26, 2006 by laurab
	I think I accomplished something (Preview) Hello (((everyone))) 3 days without a phone .... doesn't seem like much. Not being able to get to the board and not being able to contact people I needed to made it a long three days. i feed the squirrels corn on the cob, there is a walnut tree in the backyard ... you'd think they have better things to eat t...	Jennifer	2	357	Oct 26, 2006 by TLC2
	Moving from anger to forgiveness is a healing experience (Preview) Adults who grew up with alcoholic parents probably have plenty to be mad about. As children, they were virtually powerless to stop the forms of abuse and neglect they often suffered. They couldn't express their anger or outrage in a healthy manner. Instead, many either acted out their...	Phil	4	989	Oct 26, 2006 by Phil
	Letting go of our need for control frees us (Preview) "If you want to make God laugh, just tell Him your plans." This old Jewish proverb is especially familiar to people in recovery from addiction, but everyone can glean some meaning from these time-tested words. They serve as a gentle reminder that most of what happens in our life and in th...	Phil	2	515	Oct 26, 2006 by Barbara
	You guys are ALL amazing (Preview) Just to let everyone of you know that i read all the posts looking for inspiration, and i find it in each and evey reply to every message here. The most valuable time in my day is spent reading here. I learn so much from all your experiences and i am very greatful for the existance of this site. With my wo...	arty	1	257	Oct 26, 2006 by annmarie
	workbook (Preview) Hi everyone, Can anyone tell me if there is a workbook I can buy that will help me with the steps? I have to go back to step one, and am having problems with "my life becoming unmanagable". I understand I probably am experience a block called denial, but as far as I can see at the moment, I have pretty muc...	annmarie	4	2149	Oct 26, 2006 by annmarie
	Do i stay or do i go? (Preview) Many months ago I went to a shrink to discuss how to help my A as his general behaviour was extremely destructive back then...even when he wasnt drinking. In my session, the same point kept coming up. should i stay or should i go? Her advice to me was to make up my mind and stick to my decision. So i decid...	arty	8	419	Oct 26, 2006 by arty
	Looking for a support system (Preview) Hello all, First off I want to thank those of you that were so wonderful to me in the chat room tonight. You have inspired me to go ahead and ask for the help I know I need. Why is it so hard to ask for help sometimes? Anyway, I am from Urbana,Illinois and am looking for a support system. I have a 31 year old dau...	Wind	2	319	Oct 26, 2006 by Lauren ashley
	When you are drained??? (Preview) (((Hi everyone)))) What happens when you just feel through, but not ready to make the change yet? I have been escaping AH all last week and feeling good, doing my own thing. He still drinks horribly after 3 days of sobriety, usually beginning Monday, then drinks Wed or Thurs unt...	hersh	5	428	Oct 26, 2006 by TLC2
	tts letting go of ppl stuff (Preview) Reading about TTs stuff gives me permission to let go of a sick A neighbor who blamed us earlier for reporting his barking dog and some dirt pile he had out in front. I didnt get mad at him that day when he came to the house. But then I really got po'd at him and preceded to tell him OFF...Wel...	Busbe	2	312	Oct 25, 2006 by twinkie
	hi tlc (Preview) I'm sorry, I did not see your post. No I guess I am not ok. But I am sure will be again someday, just not today. Really into the one day at a time. Thank you for asking about me. Means a lot to me. Yes i miss Chief. He was a big part of Eden. Estersue and I took a nap and we cried together today. S...	debilyn	4	283	Oct 25, 2006 by TLC2
	To Txmom - remembering dadrrb (Preview) Dear ((((((((((txmom))))))))))) Been thinking of you a whole lot this month. Remembering the shock and grief we all felt hearing of dadrrb's passing.... So glad we could all be here for you during that time. Remembering watching you grow in the program and finding your love for him again, even o...	kismetstrand	7	380	Oct 25, 2006 by tea2
	Interview Today (Preview) Okay, little prayers and good thoughts, I have an interview at 2pm. Hugs Mary	marmare	5	268	Oct 25, 2006 by tea2
	guilt and shame (Preview) Why do I feel so guilty about speaking to my own mom? My A makes me feel this way. I didnt speak to my mom for a few yrs cause of a bunch of issues. My dry does not like my family at all. Blames my mom because of my sickness. My was drunk during caring me. I am at peace with it now. I accept it. I dont feel comfortable...	purplebutterfly	3	988	Oct 25, 2006 by twinkie
	A letter to my A (Preview) Hi All, My A and I had a wonderful fun time planned Saturday night, we went to see X-Treme fights, which I very much enjoy. Somehow it turned all wrong, I became what I thought was angry and left and went to the car and we went home. I said hurtful things and it has taken me two days to figure ou...	marmare	4	430	Oct 25, 2006 by Dolphin123
	Always wondering, always worrying.. (Preview) My A has gone away for a few days with a couple guys, who I know will be drinking, will I ever stop thinking the worst?? I feel it will truly be a miracle if he comes back sober. While I'm develeping an ulcer..., please pray for us. Love TLC	TLC2	7	335	Oct 25, 2006 by hersh
	selfishness (Preview) It never ceases to amaze me-the level of selfishness an a has. My ah has been crazy off and on about him having to get rid of his stuff to bring in some money so we can pay for a lawyer for this latest bout with the law. I am BROKE!!! I can't get another loan b/c of debt to income ratio--not t...	hudsond	2	296	Oct 25, 2006 by Tiger2006
	Intencity of Addiction (Preview) ((((Everyone)))) In talking with my grouchy old ASober Father this weekend, he told my AW and I some stories I had never heard. I love my Dad, he is a great guy. He quit drinking on his own for 6 months when he was in his early 30's. He was at his brothers house and was offered a beer....	rtexas	3	392	Oct 25, 2006 by Tiger2006
	Parents United-Power in Numbers (Preview) My husband and I don't always see eye to eye on how to work with our 22 year old alcoholic daughter. (She is 30 plus days sober in a rehab facility, grateful for that!) I lived for 8 years with an A (my daughter's father, go figure) before leaving and marrying my current husband, not an A. I'm further alon...	kabbie	2	365	Oct 25, 2006 by Noni
	My "Favorite Man" Relapses (Preview) OK, those of you who know me know I am "madly in love" with country music star, Keith Urban. LOL He married Nichole Kidman 4 months ago. He just admitted himself (or she admitted him) to rehab again. He's been thru this before. She had him sign a pre-nup about his drug and alc...	Becky1	5	553	Oct 25, 2006 by Rita G
	can we also have addictive behaviors (Preview) i guess i am just feeling condemnee ; i just can't stop stuffing my face and i am always feeling like things will never get better	raechill	4	328	Oct 25, 2006 by hudsond
	Is it by chance... (Preview) (((((Everyone))))) Is it by chance that my work has allowed me to make my recovery almost a full time job for the past 8 months? Is it by chance that when my AW is trying to tell me on the phone that I am being a bad father and husband that I just so happen to be at my grandparents gravesite reading the smal...	rtexas	7	394	Oct 25, 2006 by hersh
	Saying it "mean"... (Preview) I have considered the slogan, "Say what you mean, but don't say it mean." Aside from the fact that I have difficulty with the incorrect grammar of that one, I wonder; why can't we say it "mean?" If I were not angry at the time, I would say nothing at all. This slogan encourages us to stifle any anger we may fe...	Diva	15	1067	Oct 25, 2006 by athena12
	FEELING SAD (Preview) Hi to all, Yes im feeling sad,but not sure how im supposed to be. H and myself been apart(my choice) since may,due to me throwing him out ,since then he has had to live in a salvation army refuge due to having nowhere to go. Over the last month there has been a vast improvement in him ,finding him a goo...	ollie	5	282	Oct 25, 2006 by ollie
	Thumbs Up Day (Preview) Hopefully I am finally seeing some success. My 13 year old son has been going through quite a difficult period in his life. He has caused some very dire consequences for himself and yet I am fortunate to have the insight of realizing how this disease does affect the family through it's man...	Cilla	3	281	Oct 25, 2006 by Karilynn
	Housewarming Party without a House (Preview) Ever hear of a housewarming party without a House - Well that's what I'm doing!!! - I am living the "Fake it til ya make it" in every bit of my life. As some you may know it has been a tough few months for us, with our daughter Ashley, I have had some health problems and having trouble diagnosing th...	Rita G	6	398	Oct 25, 2006 by Karilynn
	I want it to just be over (Preview) I am so very hurt,irate,and confused. I do not know what I want anymore. I am tired of my life always being so challenging. I cannot form lasting relationships with anyone, not even with alanoners. I am scared I will be let down once again, and I don't think I could bare another let down. I do not even have a...	Lauren ashley	11	570	Oct 25, 2006 by Diva
	what a long couple of weeks (Preview) it has been a while since i posted.but on oct 8 i went on my cruise with my mother in law for 8 days,it was so much fun looking forward to going again..we got home from our cruise on sunday oct 15 during our cruise and our ride back home from miami my mother had talked to my father in law a few times to see how he wa...	bev	9	355	Oct 25, 2006 by athena12
	responding instead of reacting (Preview) Hi Everyone, I have learned in the past week that I need to try to respond rather than react to myA. I have been confused with detatchment and boundary setting in the last while. I have been unwittingly "reacting" to his behaviour and thought I was, in doing so, making my...	annmarie	4	440	Oct 25, 2006 by annmarie
	(c: (Preview) did something for me!!! My doctor friend invited me to his party with lotsa his friends up in the "city." I asked Raini, my daughter to go with me. It was fancy shmancy. I did not really know this. lol I had to drive to the train station, sit in a train for like almost 3 hours. Ride up was pretty....	debilyn	10	349	Oct 24, 2006 by Hopefloats
	Lost my Mr. Chieferoni. (Preview) Subject: [Cat-A-List] My horse with wings, has flown away Went to feed and Chief, my appy/paint was down. horrible. send message to my animal groups. this is a sad story. but part of it all. thank you for your loving thoughts. NO question, I could feel it. All of a sudd...	debilyn	15	542	Oct 24, 2006 by Hopefloats
	Debilyn, are you ok? (Preview) Sure would love to hear from you. I know you are going through a really hard time right now. Don't forget that we are here for you, and love you very much! I read your post about Chief, and cried for you. My horse is 18 and I know the day will come sooner than I like to think, I also have a cat who is 14. Picture C...	TLC2	1	285	Oct 24, 2006 by Hopefloats
	Lyrics that touched me (Preview) Just wanted to share a song that touched me ... not quite the impact of hearing it but close. Sorry for the reference to a particular HP, please replace with your preference. The whole CD this is on sounds like a sound track to my life for the last year, and it's kept me sane for about the same amount...	Jennifer	2	314	Oct 24, 2006 by Hopefloats
	I learned something new last night.. (Preview) Today is a new day and I will thank my HP for that.. I have been struggling with this seperation with days of feeling I can not do this.. My husband is still living in the camper and has been sober 6 weeks with the exception of the one night he drank on the anniversery of his mothers death. I have been real...	Tammy	5	374	Oct 24, 2006 by hersh
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