Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Green Eyes · Green Eyes

I have been harboring a great deal of anger these past couple of weeks due to increasing financial challenges that are a big issue with my pending divorce with my AH. I had a session with my therapist this week and asked her if using a "punching bag" or trying kick-boxing were really viable op...

willowtree · willowtree

Hello everyone. I know this is off topic here but I feel confortable coming here and am hoping that someone here has some ES&H for me about adhd. My son is 8 and has been diagnosed with adhd 6 months ago. We decided to not to do medication, but things are getting worse for him at school and at home. Th...

Tigger · Tigger

I feel like I really need support with this. My father in law is in a semi coma after a heart attack left him not breathing for 30 minutes (6 weeks ago). The prognosis is bleak for any kind of recovery to normal brain function. Meanwhile my partner, along with two half brothers and their mother/step mothe...

silent · silent

im now going on a mth of separation from my a/d b/f and for the last 3 days ive had to sit on my hands to keep from picking that phone up and calling him,im feeling soo lonesone,insecurity at its ups,i stay as busy as i can tiill i just drop in the bed at nite,sometime to tired to even put my cpap mask on for my sle...

TryingToChange · TryingToChange

My husband told me the other day he would be coming home at night and not going out drinking anymore--yeah right. I knew better than to believe him, but I'm not sure how to handle the situation now. For a few days he's been doing pretty good and today he was supposed to have a really hectic day at work and I to...

stephaniej · stephaniej

I'm working so hard on this distinction right now. I tend to give my feelings so much...authority in my life. Even more than I give facts. And while I think it is important to know my feelings and understand them, I struggle with just accepting them. I obsess and obsess and obsess. And neither my fe...

xbeckeex · xbeckeex

Hi all, first time here but it's been another of those nights so I thought I'd give this a shot! Am currently trying to help my parents move onward and upward away from their destructive codependent relationship (which I have used many times as an excuse for my own failings). Their divorce has gone thro...

BuzzBuzz · BuzzBuzz

Yesterday my ex or not ex AWsober had a tough day which puts her out of commission even for the basics such as our need to get groceries. She was apologetic (as always, when not a finger is lifted with helping around the house) I was truely fine with it. Then today rolls around and I have been at university...

tired of trying · tired of trying

So my AH is still sober and doing well -starting to breathe a sigh of relif and we get call that AD is intoxicated and we need to take in her 3 month old. Yes, could be a blessing in disguise, but right now she is allowed no contact-baby was not abused or neglected-the charge was endangerment because she was...

dragonflys · dragonflys

So I went and saw a therapist today. She was great, very knowledgable regarding addiction and codependency. Problem is that she is booked straight for the next 3-4 weeks. She did say she will help me find someone if I give her a list of the therapist that take my insurance. After the therapy session...

callmemara · callmemara

Saturday/Saturday night was really bad. I will spare you the details. Sunday morning I just kept thinking "I can't live like this for the rest of my life" I was real numb at first. Then I broke down and started weeping on the front porch and he was still passed out on the living room couch. The...

Pinhook84 · Pinhook84

I've looked through these threads to be sure I'm not duplicating another, so if I am, point me in the right direction. I have several concerns about detox for a loved one with no insurance. First, obviously, is the cost of in-patient detox. He doesn't have insurance, and he may not be able to afford this...

bdl978 · bdl978

Hello. New to the board and I have a question about family planning, control and the addict. a little back story... My wife is an anorexic/bulemic/alcoholic. she began outpatient treatment last July after hitting bottom with a legal incident that also involved our then 18 month old daughter. at the...

Althecat · Althecat

I started dating this great guy a while back, about 6 months I guess. At first he was great; open, thoughtful, physical, affectionate. Slowly his behavior has devolved into something very selfish. Basically with out going into the details, if it suits him he will do it with little or no thought of...

rehprof · rehprof

hi all my job is crazy...I've picked up extra work because I can't pay the bills...and I am working 60 hours a week and can't keep up! My kid has baseball that keeps us out 2-3 nights a week until 9 pm...and I am trying to keep a house, do laundry, yardwork, repairs...and just feeling like I'm never going t...

Bargee · Bargee

So AH is late home from work and for the first time ever I am trying so hard to stick to my goal and NOT ring him to see where he is, or when/if he is coming home. I feel sick to my stomach, angry, nervous, upset, angry etc etc but I am not going to ring him!!!! I know that he is drinking as he is only ever late home fr...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I don't know what to say except I am having a good day here in God's country--that is what we call it here. We are surrounded by moutains & such beautiful scenery. I am sitting her at the computer & can see what I am talking about. How many of you can say that? I am excited about the future. I am gettin...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

I get so frustrated when we fight. I hate silence or feeling like I'm being given the silent treatment and I'm usually the one who starts communicating and trying to make some sort of connection, albeit a surface connection at best. It was a typical fight for us: me getting mad about his passive agres...

tweety23 · tweety23

My BIL is an alcoholic, and severely so, in that he has been living on the streets and lost everything due to alcohol. He was a frightening sort of person while actively drinking and I refused to have him around my child for years we have not seen him. However he has been in some sort of recovery (no AA thoug...

GypsyRose71 · GypsyRose71

Well,I'm back,again, I debated whether to post or not,but decided to. much has changed over the last few years. I decided I had had enough of the disease and wanted out, I walked away from 8.5 years of my life. my A was using again, just about out of control,Extremely sad really bacause I know he's an Int...

sweeetr · sweeetr

I've been doing this five yrs. I'm getting good at detaching and not fighting back. But I had to ask him to leave last wkend it's just too ridiculous and exhausting. My AH has now agreed to quit drinking and go back to counciling to try and learn how to cope with life stresses without alcohol and "wha...

surfgirl123 · surfgirl123

Update from my Tuesday AH off the wagon drama. He and I have been apart until today when we met his therapist. He is despondent, won't eat or drink and quite frankly I've never seen this behavior before. She had him in there alone for almost an hour, then called me in, this was the message: my AH still wan...

pressley27 · pressley27

I am a new comer ! So I dn't know where to begin. I have a fiance who has relapsed twice in three years. We were both single parents, fell in love while combining two households togther. Along the way we had a little boy who is almost four. He had been clean six years (claims anyway) before we meet. I didnt...

kissers · kissers

I'm in love with an alcoholic. I know only God/HP can take away his need for drinking. I really don't believe drinking is the major problem, but it doesn't help. It seems like everytime I tried to get close to him, he would push me away. So, I know not to take it personally but it still hurts. He never tells m...

Bettina · Bettina

Hi everyone! Been gone a long time. Life for me has changed again. Left Los Angeles, now in Riverside caretaking my Mom who has dementia, she is 86. Got rid of mostly everything(feels good) just held on to bare minimum and we got a two bedroom in a very luxurious place. 55 and over. I had been contemplatin...

stephaniej · stephaniej

Had another one of those A-Ha moments yesterday, courtesy of my Al Anon tools. I have been feeling better about myself lately in terms of letting go of a lot of the expectations I have of my AH. I no longer get upset that he does nothing to help around the house, even when I ask. I no longer take it personal...

living for me · living for me

I am currently in a 90 day separation from my husband who is an alcoholic and a marijuana addict. He has "supposedly" been clean for six weeks. He told me me last night that he had a get together to play poker in our garage Saturday evening. He invited three friends. One an alcoholic and two mar...

Tracey C · Tracey C

My Mum yelled at my sister and I before we were to go to lunch today. We're both in our 40's. She lost patience and yelled. My sister hadn't heard her do it for years. I've heard her quite often over the years. She doesn't bother to try to hide it from myself or my children. What a lovely way to start a Mo...

dragonflys · dragonflys

I asked my AH to leave our family home. He has been gone for a few days. I emailed him and told him that I did not want him coming back for a while. I cannot live with him. He doesnt work, and I really dont have the money to support him any longer. I have two kids that I have to take care of. I make just enough...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Yesterday I spent Mother's Day w/ my mom at a Brunch in our town. The thing is I lost my step-mom last October. So, they have these ribbons at the brunch. I noticed that the red ones are for if your mom is still alive & the white ones are for if your mom passed away. I only took the red one. I thought about it...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

Both the managers that interviewed me said they were excited to bring me on board. The first place I applied at and wanted to work. I am feeling so good and on Tuesday I have to go into the city again to look at the apartment, my 3rd attempt since the people were supposed to be out May 1st and now they suppose...

Tigger · Tigger

I'm looking at this step question at the moment and would. welcome practical ways you guys put this into practice: "How can I let go of others' problems instead of trying to solve them?" I know I can start to see that others deserve the right to find their own solutions. I can show others the f...

BuzzBuzz · BuzzBuzz

Hi there. I'm new to Al-Anon. I have gone to 5 F2F meetings in the last 2 weeks. I'm in a very very tough situation and am having trouble seeing the light. My partner has been in AA for 18 months. She told me in February she doesn't want a relationship anymore. This has completely devastated me. I moved to En...

Fina · Fina

Okay, I'm hoping to help with meetings in the Family Teen site here, but the meeting schedule is all over the place. The young woman who is facilitating the meetings, Dani, told me they are on Monday and Friday at 9 pm Eastern. The bulliten board says Tuesdays and I forget, both at 8 pm Eastern. And . . ....

Jozie · Jozie

Ok... So How is it I Can be So Frickin Excited about something and Yet have this Guilt that is Suckin the Life out of me... If this Don't pass by Friday I may just go Bonkers...lol... Last Night, We had a Meeting on "Expectations, & How we Carry Ourselves as Adults, when it comes to Our "Atti...

katfshh · katfshh

Two years ago when he relapsed and reappeared I ran across the USA to save him. It took him another 8 days to go to rehab. I bought him booze the whole time so he could "maintain" until he was ready. In hindsight it was ridiculous. Last year he relapsed and when he wanted help he called me and I ran...

Daisy Girl · Daisy Girl

AH has been gone all weekend. So nice and peaceful. He is on his way home and the anxiety is starting to creep back in. Praying for serenity while repeating, the three C's.

callmemara · callmemara

I guess I really don't have a question behind this post.... We are being dropped by our auto insurance of over 6 years (Geico) because of his driving record. He has had multiple tickets in the past year for speeding, seat belt, traffic signal violates. Suspended license for not taking a drive safely cl...

debhud · debhud

yesterday our extended family celebrated mothers day at my moms. loud fight between AS and bipolar daughter. my mother was yelling at me to "do something about her!" (AS was involved in this conversation) i said to my mother, "i cannot fix her mental illness any more than i can fix...

slogan_jim · slogan_jim

Hi Everyone, My name is Jim. I have been going to Al-Anon for about 2 years now and have noticed a huge difference in my life. I never feel more at peace with myself when I can share at a meeting and not be judged for my past behaviour. One issue has come up with me recently that I would like some sharing on. The...

ladysoblue · ladysoblue

So... here we are at Friday afternoon again - a very typical one where it's mid-afternoon, and I haven't heard anything from the AH. Last night we discussed what his schedule would be like today, but today it's not yet resembling what we had talked about. Gee, surprise surprise. The familiar feeling o...

Fina · Fina

Expectations: From: Courage to Change. One Day at a Time in Al-Anon IIAl-Anon Family Groups Inc. Page 2.Turning to an alcoholic for affection and support can be like going to a hardware store for bread. Perhaps we expect a "good" parent to nurture and support our feelings, or a "lo...

Tracey C · Tracey C

Hi Linda, What you have described is no. 4 of the Laundry list. We either become alcoholics, marry them or both - or find another compulsive personality, such as a workaholic, to fulfill our sick abandonment needs. It goes on to read; If we make a careful survey of those close to us, family and non-fami...

Jerry F · Jerry F

to all the mother here who have ever loved and cared for children whether their own or those of others like myself. I am always grateful beyond words to the women of early Al-Anon who took me into their hearts and care and were patient as I stumbled on flat ground and walk into walls in bright light becau...

Julie3310 · Julie3310

I don't even know where to begin. I come on here constantly getting the best support I can possibly find on here and I attempt to go to meetings even though I work 2 jobs and can never make the timing. But I seek out the truth and I still choose to be stubborn and nieve and indenial. Sometimes I would rather my...

hotrod · hotrod

I will be out of town for a few days and have postied the 1st Tradition to the Step Work Board. A study of these traditions helped me to learn how to work in groups in and outside the rooms. Please join us and share the journey Tradition 1 alanon (Preview/Moderate) 12 TraditionsOne Day at a Time in Al...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

One of the things I'm really focusing on in my recovery is in trying to not take things personally and keeping control of my emotions, but also maintaining my serenity and sanity at the same time. I got the perfect chance today. My AH, son, and I were sitting outside a grocery store waiting to get burge...

pineapple · pineapple

If I'm not mistaken, today is Mother's Day in the U.S. (Mother's Day was on Thursday here in Guatemala.) I know that holidays can sometimes be especially tough for those who love and/or live with A's. But I hope this day is a happy, peaceful one for all of you. (That includes non-mothers ,too.) Best wish...

sookie · sookie

I am a little perplexed today as I suspect my husband has actually chugged down the *children's medicine* in the house--Musinex and children's allergy meds. I know because they were expensive ~$10 each (I have the only income for the household) and I was disappointed that my daughter only took one do...

sweeetr · sweeetr

What an ass!!!!! Feeling sorry for himself and trying to control where I play game instead of on my phone it should be on computer

Fina · Fina

Recovery Meditations ~ Worry ~ One Day at a Time ~ May 12, 2012:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. Recovery MeditationsOne Day at a TimeMay 12, 2012~ WORRY ~:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It's already tomorrow in Austr...

Daisy Girl · Daisy Girl

Hi everyone! New to the boards. I have been around this week reading and soaking it all in, bouncing back and forth between this board and Adult Children board. Working on Step 1. For as long as I can remember I have tried to control. I felt such relief today, talking to myself, "I can't control that...

Wolfie55 · Wolfie55

We are attending the annual MCYPAA in Halifax, Nova Scotia. thats the Maritime Conference of Young People in AA. Al-Anon and Alateen are there in full force. Fortunately its not only for young people but its also for the young at heart. I'll be 56 this month but I still got hats like Bruno and moves like J...

Pushka · Pushka

It's been a much better week this week .. last week really left me feeling like someone had out and out slimed me. The slime if mostly off and I know I didn't start that whole thing. I'm really being challenged to give it all over to HP at this point and boy do I want to hold on to something .. that free falling...

sweeetr · sweeetr

I am not normally good about reading other than magazines and things I must because of work. However, the book The New CoDependecy has really hit home, helping me with my life struggles. My friends and family make comments to me on when you get enough you'll leave. They dont understand,under these ad...

surfgirl123 · surfgirl123

Follow up on seeing my husbands counselor this morning. Wow. Wasn't expecting this. She thinks he is bi-polar and needs to get evaluated and on medication. She says that even with medication bi-polar invidivuals are very difficult to live with, at best, and that they never truly stop cycling it just...

Michelle814 · Michelle814

I have been meditating alot lately. I love it. I start out stressed, but I shut up and listen. I slowly relax, my fingers tingle, my body becomes light as a feather.. and there in my silence, I am healed. I was screaming, yesterday, in my head yesterday, while deep in meditation: "Why does life ha...

Jennifer · Jennifer

I may be hungry and tired often, lonely rarely but I am all three right this moment. Before I go off to eat, phone a friend and get some sleep ... I want to express some gratitude for not being angry. It has been a long time since I could say I am not angry in some way, shape or form. Thanks everybody. Jen

sweeetr · sweeetr

After last night when I didn't handle myself well with detachment and trying to control over when I knew he had been drinking way more than is under control.. I spend the day reading and being on here preparing myself for what might come. I have to say we as a family had a wonderful night. No alcohol invol...

WornOutMrsFixIt · WornOutMrsFixIt

Hi everybody! I have been dealing with a husband who went through an extremely rough detox in mid March and went to an inpatient rehab program for a good part of April. He has been home for about 3 weeks now. I have tried to pop in here enough to read and keep my hopes grounded in reality but not stick around t...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Anger Management anger gratitude (Preview) I have been harboring a great deal of anger these past couple of weeks due to increasing financial challenges that are a big issue with my pending divorce with my AH. I had a session with my therapist this week and asked her if using a "punching bag" or trying kick-boxing were really viable op...	Green Eyes	2	7444	May 18, 2012 by Oksie
	Anyone's child have adhd? (Preview) Hello everyone. I know this is off topic here but I feel confortable coming here and am hoping that someone here has some ES&H for me about adhd. My son is 8 and has been diagnosed with adhd 6 months ago. We decided to not to do medication, but things are getting worse for him at school and at home. Th...	willowtree	9	825	May 18, 2012 by katfshh
	Toxic drama (Preview) I feel like I really need support with this. My father in law is in a semi coma after a heart attack left him not breathing for 30 minutes (6 weeks ago). The prognosis is bleak for any kind of recovery to normal brain function. Meanwhile my partner, along with two half brothers and their mother/step mothe...	Tigger	3	617	May 18, 2012 by orchidlover
	oh my why why me. (Preview) im now going on a mth of separation from my a/d b/f and for the last 3 days ive had to sit on my hands to keep from picking that phone up and calling him,im feeling soo lonesone,insecurity at its ups,i stay as busy as i can tiill i just drop in the bed at nite,sometime to tired to even put my cpap mask on for my sle...	silent	6	584	May 18, 2012 by Ariel
	Not sure how to handle situations like this. (Preview) My husband told me the other day he would be coming home at night and not going out drinking anymore--yeah right. I knew better than to believe him, but I'm not sure how to handle the situation now. For a few days he's been doing pretty good and today he was supposed to have a really hectic day at work and I to...	TryingToChange	11	674	May 18, 2012 by Michelle814
	Facts vs. Feelings (Preview) I'm working so hard on this distinction right now. I tend to give my feelings so much...authority in my life. Even more than I give facts. And while I think it is important to know my feelings and understand them, I struggle with just accepting them. I obsess and obsess and obsess. And neither my fe...	stephaniej	7	1524	May 17, 2012 by hotrod
	Struggling with a new start new home moving (Preview) Hi all, first time here but it's been another of those nights so I thought I'd give this a shot! Am currently trying to help my parents move onward and upward away from their destructive codependent relationship (which I have used many times as an excuse for my own failings). Their divorce has gone thro...	xbeckeex	4	8545	May 17, 2012 by AStrongerMe
	Control/Expression/Communication (Preview) Yesterday my ex or not ex AWsober had a tough day which puts her out of commission even for the basics such as our need to get groceries. She was apologetic (as always, when not a finger is lifted with helping around the house) I was truely fine with it. Then today rolls around and I have been at university...	BuzzBuzz	4	513	May 17, 2012 by pinkchip
	What Now? (Preview) So my AH is still sober and doing well -starting to breathe a sigh of relif and we get call that AD is intoxicated and we need to take in her 3 month old. Yes, could be a blessing in disguise, but right now she is allowed no contact-baby was not abused or neglected-the charge was endangerment because she was...	tired of trying	4	429	May 17, 2012 by tired of trying
	Does this have to get ugly? What are my legal obligations? (Preview) So I went and saw a therapist today. She was great, very knowledgable regarding addiction and codependency. Problem is that she is booked straight for the next 3-4 weeks. She did say she will help me find someone if I give her a list of the therapist that take my insurance. After the therapy session...	dragonflys	7	615	May 17, 2012 by dragonflys
	outpatient rehab (Preview) Saturday/Saturday night was really bad. I will spare you the details. Sunday morning I just kept thinking "I can't live like this for the rest of my life" I was real numb at first. Then I broke down and started weeping on the front porch and he was still passed out on the living room couch. The...	callmemara	10	603	May 17, 2012 by Oksie
	Detox with no insurance detox (Preview) I've looked through these threads to be sure I'm not duplicating another, so if I am, point me in the right direction. I have several concerns about detox for a loved one with no insurance. First, obviously, is the cost of in-patient detox. He doesn't have insurance, and he may not be able to afford this...	Pinhook84	8	7602	May 17, 2012 by callmemara
	Family planing with a newly recovering addict... (Preview) Hello. New to the board and I have a question about family planning, control and the addict. a little back story... My wife is an anorexic/bulemic/alcoholic. she began outpatient treatment last July after hitting bottom with a legal incident that also involved our then 18 month old daughter. at the...	bdl978	15	816	May 16, 2012 by Michelle814
	Dating a recovering alcoholic and sex addict. I have some questions. (Preview) I started dating this great guy a while back, about 6 months I guess. At first he was great; open, thoughtful, physical, affectionate. Slowly his behavior has devolved into something very selfish. Basically with out going into the details, if it suits him he will do it with little or no thought of...	Althecat	10	1205	May 16, 2012 by orchidlover
	Trying to keep swimming (Preview) hi all my job is crazy...I've picked up extra work because I can't pay the bills...and I am working 60 hours a week and can't keep up! My kid has baseball that keeps us out 2-3 nights a week until 9 pm...and I am trying to keep a house, do laundry, yardwork, repairs...and just feeling like I'm never going t...	rehprof	6	547	May 16, 2012 by rehprof
	I will not ring him!!!! (Preview) So AH is late home from work and for the first time ever I am trying so hard to stick to my goal and NOT ring him to see where he is, or when/if he is coming home. I feel sick to my stomach, angry, nervous, upset, angry etc etc but I am not going to ring him!!!! I know that he is drinking as he is only ever late home fr...	Bargee	6	632	May 16, 2012 by Bargee
	holy mackerel! (Preview) I don't know what to say except I am having a good day here in God's country--that is what we call it here. We are surrounded by moutains & such beautiful scenery. I am sitting her at the computer & can see what I am talking about. How many of you can say that? I am excited about the future. I am gettin...	Hoot Nanny	3	466	May 16, 2012 by Jerry F
	Huge fight/now what? (Preview) I get so frustrated when we fight. I hate silence or feeling like I'm being given the silent treatment and I'm usually the one who starts communicating and trying to make some sort of connection, albeit a surface connection at best. It was a typical fight for us: me getting mad about his passive agres...	ilovedogs	9	757	May 16, 2012 by sookie
	Could this be a trigger (dining together) (Preview) My BIL is an alcoholic, and severely so, in that he has been living on the streets and lost everything due to alcohol. He was a frightening sort of person while actively drinking and I refused to have him around my child for years we have not seen him. However he has been in some sort of recovery (no AA thoug...	tweety23	8	667	May 16, 2012 by AStrongerMe
	Hello Again Friends (Preview) Well,I'm back,again, I debated whether to post or not,but decided to. much has changed over the last few years. I decided I had had enough of the disease and wanted out, I walked away from 8.5 years of my life. my A was using again, just about out of control,Extremely sad really bacause I know he's an Int...	GypsyRose71	6	563	May 16, 2012 by Pushka
	So exhausting (Preview) I've been doing this five yrs. I'm getting good at detaching and not fighting back. But I had to ask him to leave last wkend it's just too ridiculous and exhausting. My AH has now agreed to quit drinking and go back to counciling to try and learn how to cope with life stresses without alcohol and "wha...	sweeetr	4	391	May 16, 2012 by sookie
	Update - How do you know when change is real? (Preview) Update from my Tuesday AH off the wagon drama. He and I have been apart until today when we met his therapist. He is despondent, won't eat or drink and quite frankly I've never seen this behavior before. She had him in there alone for almost an hour, then called me in, this was the message: my AH still wan...	surfgirl123	13	648	May 15, 2012 by sookie
	to go or to stay (Preview) I am a new comer ! So I dn't know where to begin. I have a fiance who has relapsed twice in three years. We were both single parents, fell in love while combining two households togther. Along the way we had a little boy who is almost four. He had been clean six years (claims anyway) before we meet. I didnt...	pressley27	5	571	May 15, 2012 by dragonflys
	Need someone's experience or insight (Preview) I'm in love with an alcoholic. I know only God/HP can take away his need for drinking. I really don't believe drinking is the major problem, but it doesn't help. It seems like everytime I tried to get close to him, he would push me away. So, I know not to take it personally but it still hurts. He never tells m...	kissers	11	670	May 15, 2012 by Bettina
	Dementia /Alanon works for that too!! (Preview) Hi everyone! Been gone a long time. Life for me has changed again. Left Los Angeles, now in Riverside caretaking my Mom who has dementia, she is 86. Got rid of mostly everything(feels good) just held on to bare minimum and we got a two bedroom in a very luxurious place. 55 and over. I had been contemplatin...	Bettina	6	3014	May 15, 2012 by Bettina
	Expectations (Preview) Had another one of those A-Ha moments yesterday, courtesy of my Al Anon tools. I have been feeling better about myself lately in terms of letting go of a lot of the expectations I have of my AH. I no longer get upset that he does nothing to help around the house, even when I ask. I no longer take it personal...	stephaniej	8	821	May 15, 2012 by maryjane
	What would you do??? (Preview) I am currently in a 90 day separation from my husband who is an alcoholic and a marijuana addict. He has "supposedly" been clean for six weeks. He told me me last night that he had a get together to play poker in our garage Saturday evening. He invited three friends. One an alcoholic and two mar...	living for me	6	605	May 15, 2012 by dragonflys
	Mothers Day Lunch - vent (Preview) My Mum yelled at my sister and I before we were to go to lunch today. We're both in our 40's. She lost patience and yelled. My sister hadn't heard her do it for years. I've heard her quite often over the years. She doesn't bother to try to hide it from myself or my children. What a lovely way to start a Mo...	Tracey C	7	651	May 15, 2012 by Tracey C
	What are the options?? (Preview) I asked my AH to leave our family home. He has been gone for a few days. I emailed him and told him that I did not want him coming back for a while. I cannot live with him. He doesnt work, and I really dont have the money to support him any longer. I have two kids that I have to take care of. I make just enough...	dragonflys	10	588	May 15, 2012 by Pushka
	Mother's Day (Preview) Yesterday I spent Mother's Day w/ my mom at a Brunch in our town. The thing is I lost my step-mom last October. So, they have these ribbons at the brunch. I noticed that the red ones are for if your mom is still alive & the white ones are for if your mom passed away. I only took the red one. I thought about it...	Hoot Nanny	0	332	May 14, 2012 by Hoot Nanny
	I got the job!!!!!! (Preview) Both the managers that interviewed me said they were excited to bring me on board. The first place I applied at and wanted to work. I am feeling so good and on Tuesday I have to go into the city again to look at the apartment, my 3rd attempt since the people were supposed to be out May 1st and now they suppose...	Breakingfree	19	720	May 15, 2012 by tiredtonite
	Other people's problems (Preview) I'm looking at this step question at the moment and would. welcome practical ways you guys put this into practice: "How can I let go of others' problems instead of trying to solve them?" I know I can start to see that others deserve the right to find their own solutions. I can show others the f...	Tigger	12	629	May 14, 2012 by Tigger
	Having a very bad day (Preview) Hi there. I'm new to Al-Anon. I have gone to 5 F2F meetings in the last 2 weeks. I'm in a very very tough situation and am having trouble seeing the light. My partner has been in AA for 18 months. She told me in February she doesn't want a relationship anymore. This has completely devastated me. I moved to En...	BuzzBuzz	5	749	May 14, 2012 by BuzzBuzz
	Alateen Meetings (Preview) Okay, I'm hoping to help with meetings in the Family Teen site here, but the meeting schedule is all over the place. The young woman who is facilitating the meetings, Dani, told me they are on Monday and Friday at 9 pm Eastern. The bulliten board says Tuesdays and I forget, both at 8 pm Eastern. And . . ....	Fina	0	437	May 14, 2012 by Fina
	Excitement & Guilt.... WHY??? (Preview) Ok... So How is it I Can be So Frickin Excited about something and Yet have this Guilt that is Suckin the Life out of me... If this Don't pass by Friday I may just go Bonkers...lol... Last Night, We had a Meeting on "Expectations, & How we Carry Ourselves as Adults, when it comes to Our "Atti...	Jozie	7	590	May 14, 2012 by Jozie
	I see progress! (Preview) Two years ago when he relapsed and reappeared I ran across the USA to save him. It took him another 8 days to go to rehab. I bought him booze the whole time so he could "maintain" until he was ready. In hindsight it was ridiculous. Last year he relapsed and when he wanted help he called me and I ran...	katfshh	7	593	May 14, 2012 by ladysoblue
	Anxious! (Preview) AH has been gone all weekend. So nice and peaceful. He is on his way home and the anxiety is starting to creep back in. Praying for serenity while repeating, the three C's.	Daisy Girl	3	428	May 14, 2012 by ladysoblue
	When his actions affect me. (Preview) I guess I really don't have a question behind this post.... We are being dropped by our auto insurance of over 6 years (Geico) because of his driving record. He has had multiple tickets in the past year for speeding, seat belt, traffic signal violates. Suspended license for not taking a drive safely cl...	callmemara	8	723	May 14, 2012 by Pushka
	mothers day fight. (Preview) yesterday our extended family celebrated mothers day at my moms. loud fight between AS and bipolar daughter. my mother was yelling at me to "do something about her!" (AS was involved in this conversation) i said to my mother, "i cannot fix her mental illness any more than i can fix...	debhud	1	459	May 14, 2012 by Jerry F
	Need advice on dealing with bitterness. (Preview) Hi Everyone, My name is Jim. I have been going to Al-Anon for about 2 years now and have noticed a huge difference in my life. I never feel more at peace with myself when I can share at a meeting and not be judged for my past behaviour. One issue has come up with me recently that I would like some sharing on. The...	slogan_jim	12	842	May 14, 2012 by likemyheart
	Three cheers for Friday after work...!!! (Preview) So... here we are at Friday afternoon again - a very typical one where it's mid-afternoon, and I haven't heard anything from the AH. Last night we discussed what his schedule would be like today, but today it's not yet resembling what we had talked about. Gee, surprise surprise. The familiar feeling o...	ladysoblue	3	464	May 14, 2012 by Bargee
	5/13 Sunday Evening Meeting 7 pm Eastern on EXPECTATIONS (Preview) Expectations: From: Courage to Change. One Day at a Time in Al-Anon IIAl-Anon Family Groups Inc. Page 2.Turning to an alcoholic for affection and support can be like going to a hardware store for bread. Perhaps we expect a "good" parent to nurture and support our feelings, or a "lo...	Fina	0	375	May 14, 2012 by Fina
	Answering Linda's letter on acoa site on abandonment (Preview) Hi Linda, What you have described is no. 4 of the Laundry list. We either become alcoholics, marry them or both - or find another compulsive personality, such as a workaholic, to fulfill our sick abandonment needs. It goes on to read; If we make a careful survey of those close to us, family and non-fami...	Tracey C	2	490	May 14, 2012 by Oksie
	Happy Mothers Day (Preview) to all the mother here who have ever loved and cared for children whether their own or those of others like myself. I am always grateful beyond words to the women of early Al-Anon who took me into their hearts and care and were patient as I stumbled on flat ground and walk into walls in bright light becau...	Jerry F	3	425	May 14, 2012 by glad lee
	Will the relapses ever end?????? His family involved now! This is too much! (Preview) I don't even know where to begin. I come on here constantly getting the best support I can possibly find on here and I attempt to go to meetings even though I work 2 jobs and can never make the timing. But I seek out the truth and I still choose to be stubborn and nieve and indenial. Sometimes I would rather my...	Julie3310	15	563	May 14, 2012 by Julie3310
	12 Traditions (Preview) I will be out of town for a few days and have postied the 1st Tradition to the Step Work Board. A study of these traditions helped me to learn how to work in groups in and outside the rooms. Please join us and share the journey Tradition 1 alanon (Preview/Moderate) 12 TraditionsOne Day at a Time in Al...	hotrod	1	460	May 14, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Maintaining serenity (Preview) One of the things I'm really focusing on in my recovery is in trying to not take things personally and keeping control of my emotions, but also maintaining my serenity and sanity at the same time. I got the perfect chance today. My AH, son, and I were sitting outside a grocery store waiting to get burge...	ilovedogs	15	816	May 13, 2012 by Mattie
	Happy Mother's Day! (Preview) If I'm not mistaken, today is Mother's Day in the U.S. (Mother's Day was on Thursday here in Guatemala.) I know that holidays can sometimes be especially tough for those who love and/or live with A's. But I hope this day is a happy, peaceful one for all of you. (That includes non-mothers ,too.) Best wish...	pineapple	2	385	May 13, 2012 by Pushka
	AH raiding medicine cabinet now? (Preview) I am a little perplexed today as I suspect my husband has actually chugged down the children's medicine in the house--Musinex and children's allergy meds. I know because they were expensive ~$10 each (I have the only income for the household) and I was disappointed that my daughter only took one do...	sookie	5	509	May 13, 2012 by sookie
	Ugh (Preview) What an ass!!!!! Feeling sorry for himself and trying to control where I play game instead of on my phone it should be on computer	sweeetr	0	347	May 13, 2012 by sweeetr
	WORRY (Preview) *Recovery Meditations ~ Worry ~ One Day at a Time ~ May 12, 2012:~~:. .:~~:. .:~~:. .:~~:. .:~~:. Recovery MeditationsOne Day at a TimeMay 12, 2012~ WORRY ~:~~:. .:~~:. .:~~:. .:~~:. .:~~:. .:~~:. .:~~Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It's already* tomorrow in Austr...	Fina	2	481	May 13, 2012 by Wolfie55
	Newbie, just getting started (Preview) Hi everyone! New to the boards. I have been around this week reading and soaking it all in, bouncing back and forth between this board and Adult Children board. Working on Step 1. For as long as I can remember I have tried to control. I felt such relief today, talking to myself, "I can't control that...	Daisy Girl	3	463	May 13, 2012 by pineapple
	Hats Like Bruno, Moves Like Jagger (Preview) We are attending the annual MCYPAA in Halifax, Nova Scotia. thats the Maritime Conference of Young People in AA. Al-Anon and Alateen are there in full force. Fortunately its not only for young people but its also for the young at heart. I'll be 56 this month but I still got hats like Bruno and moves like J...	Wolfie55	3	353	May 13, 2012 by Wolfie55
	Giving it to HP (Preview) It's been a much better week this week .. last week really left me feeling like someone had out and out slimed me. The slime if mostly off and I know I didn't start that whole thing. I'm really being challenged to give it all over to HP at this point and boy do I want to hold on to something .. that free falling...	Pushka	7	519	May 12, 2012 by Michelle814
	The New Codependency (Preview) I am not normally good about reading other than magazines and things I must because of work. However, the book The New CoDependecy has really hit home, helping me with my life struggles. My friends and family make comments to me on when you get enough you'll leave. They dont understand,under these ad...	sweeetr	9	3755	May 12, 2012 by Michelle814
	Wasn't Expecting What Therapist Said (Preview) Follow up on seeing my husbands counselor this morning. Wow. Wasn't expecting this. She thinks he is bi-polar and needs to get evaluated and on medication. She says that even with medication bi-polar invidivuals are very difficult to live with, at best, and that they never truly stop cycling it just...	surfgirl123	8	761	May 12, 2012 by Fina
	Its Me!!! (Preview) I have been meditating alot lately. I love it. I start out stressed, but I shut up and listen. I slowly relax, my fingers tingle, my body becomes light as a feather.. and there in my silence, I am healed. I was screaming, yesterday, in my head yesterday, while deep in meditation: "Why does life ha...	Michelle814	6	554	May 12, 2012 by Michelle814
	HLT not a misspelling (Preview) I may be hungry and tired often, lonely rarely but I am all three right this moment. Before I go off to eat, phone a friend and get some sleep ... I want to express some gratitude for not being angry. It has been a long time since I could say I am not angry in some way, shape or form. Thanks everybody. Jen	Jennifer	10	639	May 12, 2012 by Fina
	Just when you are prepared (Preview) After last night when I didn't handle myself well with detachment and trying to control over when I knew he had been drinking way more than is under control.. I spend the day reading and being on here preparing myself for what might come. I have to say we as a family had a wonderful night. No alcohol invol...	sweeetr	2	573	May 12, 2012 by Tracey C
	Post Rehab Story (Preview) Hi everybody! I have been dealing with a husband who went through an extremely rough detox in mid March and went to an inpatient rehab program for a good part of April. He has been home for about 3 weeks now. I have tried to pop in here enough to read and keep my hopes grounded in reality but not stick around t...	WornOutMrsFixIt	8	632	May 12, 2012 by WornOutMrsFixIt
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.