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it isn't all about me anymore
(Preview)
I still sometimes think it is all about me but after 27 years in the program, it is getting to be more about YOU! I have been able to get out of my world into helping others more. What a concept? I am so grateful for the years I have been on here. I have shared all kinds of emotions & experiences that I proba...
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Hoot Nanny
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3
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224
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Son update!
(Preview)
It's been of some comfort to know my sister inlaw has allowed him to use her sofa to sleep on this last two weeks, but things have been getting worse she can't afford to keep him for free and had asked him for some board money, he has complained he doesn't get fed well and she treats her cats better, I have sta...
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Katy
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7
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284
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emotional abuse and recovery: HELP!
(Preview)
I need your help or advise. it has now become clear to me that I have been massively emotionally abused. one thing now is to forgive myself for not having removed myself from this situation earlier. But i still think i did best with what i knew at the time. the other thing is to not obsess anymore about the p...
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tortuga
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10
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353
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alchol poisoning risk
(Preview)
How to you deal with an AH who comes in so intoxicated that he starts frying something , passes out and doesn't even hear the fire alarm? Passes out with food in his mouth. Lets the dogs outside and passes out and forgets them in the freesing cold. If I didn't have to work I could stay up, but I do have to work...
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tnmom
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6
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474
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I want to hide; a clue I need a meeting
(Preview)
I am angry tonight and don't want to admit it to anyone, which is why I am admitting it here. It is a clue that I want to hide out. When I want to hide, it is best to get myself to an al anon meeting asap. I am angry at 3 of my 4 adult children...all have addictions to substances. Two owe us money and 1 exposes...
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PP
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3
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252
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This might be it.what now pls respond
(Preview)
Well. The may be the last straw. My ah of 15yrs came home having had a few....early though I was just getting 8yo to bed. It was clear he was agitated and I tried to stay low ....nothing worked. First he went off on ploitics...rage. Then it turned on me...i didnt react right so..."youre s***, and fu....
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Theoceancalls
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22
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606
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Confused
(Preview)
My A is soon to be 53 years old, a smoker and recovered heroin addict from before I knew him. He's been drinking since he was a child (abstinence for years because of a prison stint) and the past three years I just found out he's been smoking crack. I thought he stopped the crack 2 years ago, but he didn't....
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Fool4You
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5
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228
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Am I detached or disgusted?
(Preview)
So lately I found myself really not paying much attention to my AH. I cannot figure out if its my way of detaching or if I just cannot stand him anymore. I really try not to be rude because I don't want to be that way, but sometimes I just cannot help but be disgusted by him.
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imom
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12
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586
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Birth of a Moniker
(Preview)
We were watching Lord of the Rings, Part Two, Extended Version (highly recommended to those who like LOTR) and I saw the scene that birthed my MIP Nickname. Arwen is giving Aragorn this silver jewelry thing, he tries to get her to take it back, not give it, and she tells him it is hers to give, like my heart...
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likemyheart
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7
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248
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Request Made to Visit Him in Rehab
(Preview)
The request has been made by my love (who is in rehab) and the counselor to come for an hour visit in two weeks. HELP!!!! My feelings about this are running amuck. Yes, I want to see him. But I am JUST now starting to get myself pulled somewhat together after the mess I found myself in when he left for rehab....
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newwoman
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6
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236
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Did I think this would ever happen ( No )
(Preview)
Hi EveryoneIn the 3 short months I have been on MIP with all the support and encouragement I have received, I have come a long way. I have learned to detach more and more every day. What I might or might not have done in my past cant be changed, but Im learning to except it, forgive, and move on to have a bet...
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Cathyinaz
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5
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319
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Lessons to be learned
(Preview)
Well, I've been in therapy for almost 3 years now. I know I'm co-dependent and working on that. I'm working on myself and self-esteem as a result of the abuse, chaos and trauma too. I am divorced and have been dating - here and there. So, I finally catch a break and meet a nice guy. I mean nice guy. Par...
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abbyalana
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2
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211
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Heard a good message today and wanted to share
(Preview)
Every moment you spend upset, despaired, anguished, angry or hurt because of the behavior of anyone else in your life, is a moment in which you've given up control of your life.
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Magster
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4
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298
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As time goes on
(Preview)
Just a little note to share. When I first started alanon i was truely going to get my AH "fixed" was pretty sure they would have all the answers to fix him. When I went to my first meeting and was in total shock that they expected me, of all people, to do the same steps my sick AH had to do. I am ve...
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1976love
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2
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243
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My Son
(Preview)
My son has a drug problem. It has been going on for years and last week we had an intervention with him. He did admit he has a problem and he was willing to get help. He is now in a rehab center. I never thought I would have to go through any of this but I am sure we all thought that. I am asking for understand and h...
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Dee3
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4
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248
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Step 8 has been posted to the Step Work Board
(Preview)
IN ALANON WE BELIEVE LIFE IS FOR GROWTH-PHYSICAL, EMOTIONAL AND SPIRITUALSTEP 8 MADE A LIST OF ALL PERSONS WE HAVE HARMED AND BECAME willing to make amends to them allPlease join us and share your eSHhttp://stepwork.activeboard.com/t52406122/step-8-alanon/
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hotrod
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0
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172
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Since becoming single my new love is food.
(Preview)
I am really struggling with my eating right now and am gaining weight. Last time I became single I lost weight and worked out a lot. Now I am in school sitting in class and studying a lot 5 classes right now 2 of which are twice a week, with 2 kids and work on the weekends I have really turned to food. I am not lo...
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Breakingfree
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2
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277
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feeling sick thinking
(Preview)
I'm just not feeling my program tonight. My son who still hasn't moved out of course I still don't have the courage. Had a row with him completely reacted, I'm obviously resentful over what happened at the weekend and let go
Of my anger, I'm still angry, he's out tonight and I feel like not letting him ba...
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el-cee
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1
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273
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Detatchment during abusiveness is hard.
(Preview)
I kicked my A son out of the home over 2 months ago. This past week he calls and says that he "needs money for groceries" and that he needs to see a doctor. I went and picked him up and took him to the ER and paid for his medications when he was released. He was smart mouthed and rude to me several ti...
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sheristeele
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10
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329
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Newly Seeking Peace
(Preview)
It is difficult to write about something that has affected me my entire life yet have never really spoken to anyone about. I started to write this several times, but it keeps spinning out of control. So, I will try one more time to write just enough to get my story across. It will likely be hard to follow. I...
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militantsparrow
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6
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290
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Calling her out
(Preview)
My A is trying to quit drinking. However many times she has tried to fool me and she is clearly drunk or at least buzzed. she repeats herself a lot when is buzzed. Clear give away. Anyway should I not call her out on it ? Should I just keep to myself ? I don't want to accuse her but then again I want to know and her...
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Keaghan
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8
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538
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In the bedroom with the A
(Preview)
I know this topic has probably been started before, but I had a tough time the other night...my AH was drinking and yelling at the kids and on and on, the typical chaos on a worknight (a worknight for me at least), and I wound up putting both children to bed, usually if AH is not picking a fight with me, he hel...
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Minaret
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12
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584
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New here. Married 3 years and just discovered last fall that my husband is an alcoholic.
(Preview)
Hi there. I had known my husband for almost six years. We got married in 2009. I discovered last fall that he had a drinking problem because he got arrested for OWI and he had a blood alcohol level of .352! Of course, I couldn't find him that night and after calling numerous police stations and area hospi...
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LetDownandLost
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3
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290
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Police won't help!
(Preview)
I'm posting this because it's important for all of us as enablers to know! Once you have allowed your A friend or family member establish their "residence" with you, you can NOT force them to leave without officially evicting them. That can be a long drawn out process, it will also require y...
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Mommamimi
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10
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320
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Is it a Choice???
(Preview)
Why am I still having such a hard time realizing that NOTHING I do is going to make a difference? Believe me, I have tried it all - drill seargent, supportive wife, nurse and in the end, separated myself from the situation but still, he tries and fails. Part of me feels so sad for him when I see how insec...
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WornOutMrsFixIt
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12
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497
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Quick question
(Preview)
My AH claims he has been told and has read a lot of research about how a small percentage of people cannot ever be helped by recovery programs ( I.e. rehab and aa). Has anyone come across this research or is this just another one of his lame excuses to avoid recovery?
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imom
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10
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283
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How Can You Still Love an AH, ABF When...
(Preview)
They abuse you physically, and verbally, uses you, doesnt agree with you, hates you, takes advantage of you, manipulates you abuse your children etc. etc.? I am not sure I understand this, are people that instantly forgiving or what is it. I am sincere about this question. Please shed some light on th...
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oldergal
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7
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324
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New here... new to alanon.
(Preview)
I am new to the idea of Al-Anon. My mother has suggested that I go. My partner of the last 4 years is an alcoholic. We have had numerous arguements.. lately things have gotten physical. Today I came home from work and he was stumbling and intoxicated. This just 1 1/2 weeks after he drug me across the h...
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motherof5
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6
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212
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Tough to figure
(Preview)
My wife is an A. She is going to a psycholgist now and I thought she would be getting better. However things have changed. At first she was definitely sober. Maybe the first month. Now although she appears sober, something is clearly up. It's like instead of drinking a ton she now measures and knows just...
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Keaghan
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1
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237
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Ok HP you got the reigns this time
(Preview)
6 years of abuse my kids have endured may be ending with a bang. Unfortunately I have to go through the same scrutiny as well. A therapist for my middle son who lives with his great aunt called CPS. Unfortunately the manner the "data" was presented makes it sound like I knew they were going...
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AStrongerMe
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4
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196
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Email Sent to daughter-22 yrs old-sinking
(Preview)
After hearing my daughter be drunk again this weekend and learning she was fighting with her one last friend whose been there for her since they were in the 1st grade, I decided to send this email to her. I probably shouldn't have as her replies were spewing hatred to me afterward. She threatened to wr...
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Afraidparent
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2
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337
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polluted mind?
(Preview)
I am sorry, my posts are so scared recently. But I just am trying hard to see through this. newest accusations of my ex, 'you have a polluted mind, with all that reading you do, false knowledge, it's not the truth about life...i feel sorry for you, i hope you realize one day, how wrong you are'....this an...
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tortuga
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6
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274
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OT prayer request
(Preview)
This is kinda off-topic but my grandmother is in her last few days on earth and our family could really use prayers and mental support.
She has been ill for years, and stopped knowing us a long time ago but it is still hard, esp. for my mom and uncle. I went through much of the grieving process when she sto...
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Number30
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3
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229
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Stages of Co-Alcoholism
(Preview)
Hi I found this the other night and it was really interesting to see how my behaviour related with the alcoholics. This may interest some of you too: Stage 0: Alcoholic Characteristics: Non-drinker, No alcoholic behaviour or symptoms. Co-Alcoholic Characteristics: No co-al...
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Tracey C
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8
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1917
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When a friendship suddenly changes.
(Preview)
I've been chatting fairly regularly with a friend for quite a while. It was almost a psudo boyfriend/girlfriend kind of relationship, but I haven't been kidding myself that we're truly committed to one another. Just kind of settled him into the close friend category with the understanding that not...
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Aloha
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10
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388
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Awesome news!
(Preview)
I just had to share my good news. My oldest son who graduates this year got accepted at his top pick university. I am so incredibly proud of him. Its nice to get good news. He works so hard and has maintained some awesome grades. I could not be prouder. Ok, enough parental bragging.
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cinders
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10
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241
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Back to square one!!!!
(Preview)
My son, 19, has been behaving himself relatively well lately because I have asked him to leave and get his own place. Well, he has blown that tonight. He has been drinking since friday night and he storms in here drunk with a menacing look on his face. He starts ranting about a fight with someone and hes go...
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el-cee
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12
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490
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Anger setting in.
(Preview)
I have realised that immediately after a crisis, any crisis, I am relieved that all is ok and I am actually quite happy and I can go on as if nothing has happened but then comes the reality and I begin to get angry. I then want to let my anger out by shouting and being dramatic but Im trying hard to work my progr...
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el-cee
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4
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222
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Need to vent
(Preview)
Hi,
Lost it a bit this morning. Was not in a great mood my A is still trying drinks most days, not fall down drunk but under the influence. I'm not mentioning it at all, going to my meetings trying to do the readings but I am fed up. I can't stand it when I see her under the influence with our two beautiful youn...
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littlehob
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7
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215
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How to reply to Alcoholic's email
(Preview)
just feeling frstration, because I have my boundaries & have not spoken to the A since i decided to separate myself from his issues & the blame that he placed on me. now, I just received an email, semi-blaming me, and also crying out admitting he has problems & a disorder. I do not want to r...
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MACTX
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6
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274
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Why do I continue to let this bother me
(Preview)
My husband and I have been having serious problems since he started drinking very heavily in October. He also started an affair with some trashy woman at this time. In October he first told me that he wants a divorce because "we are trapped in a loveless marriage." Throughout November and...
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scaredandconfused
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8
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258
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More positive job news...
(Preview)
When I applied for that totally fantastic job with the county, I gave two former mentors as references, along with the director of the daycare center my son attendes (and where I have been volunteering a lot since I was laid off). The daycare center director called me Friday night to tell me the count...
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stephaniej
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8
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250
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I did it
(Preview)
I signed the papers today and the divorce will be filed tomorrow. I told my AH and also told him that I am requesting he be removed from the house for the emotional safetynof myself and my kids. Of course he said he would need to be forcefully removed and that I was breaking up our family. He said everything...
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imom
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12
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356
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Praying for Serenity
(Preview)
Last night I had a bad night of worry and stress. Tomorrow night, my AH goes to the DUI Hotel for three nights. I'm anxious to see how the weekend helps him with his recovery. Today he has been sober for 37 days, and I am hopeful that he is taking the right steps. In the meantime, as hopeful as I am about al...
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Annie1234
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4
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236
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after a messy break-up...my feelings!
(Preview)
It is now 4 weeks since we had that violent clash. where I seperated myself physically and geographically during the first 2 weeks, I felt a sort of peace and calm, that i haven't felt at all lately in this relationship. I almost felt selfish and guilty, but due to th eviolence of the events, I also felt st...
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tortuga
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5
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285
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Don't know whether to confront the A tonight about drinking
(Preview)
I've been on here before, and as is my way, I tend only to post when in the throes of the disease. My AH who is in recovery, but hasn't been as "in" recovery lately as in the past, is drinking tonight, I think. I came home and he's taking on online class upstairs in the den and when I passed by, it sme...
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Findinghope
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7
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251
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What is the problem
(Preview)
I have been doing very good lately, Now today I get my phone and look at my emails and BOOM...there is one from my son. I go into panic mode. I open it and he is asking me about my new car and why I didn't send him any pics yet....I told him I would. I replied with I forgot and will as soon as I get it washed...l...
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Cathyinaz
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4
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226
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Something to think about....
(Preview)
I read this today and it really made me think. It is not Alanon based.... author is unknown... but I feel that most of us whohave had many trials and tribulations in their life can see that the way we react and make choices, can change the way we are.... Grandmother Says... Carrots, Eggs, or Coffee; &q...
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Sweet Stanley
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10
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318
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Any grandparents out there
(Preview)
I'll try to make this short. Tomorrow is custody court for my beautiful almost 1 year old granddaughter. She was removed from my AD because the babies father reported her to the police for being drunk-it was a good thing because she eventually got into rehab and has made an amazing turn around (long h...
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tired of trying
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4
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400
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alcoholic disease vs. social drinker??... and the thoughts after that!
(Preview)
the reason Im asking this is that i took a time-out in the interaction between myself and my A. i dont say boyfriend anymore, since confusion has mounted up so quickly in the past month, that I didnt really have taken the time to reflect on what was actually going on. I was overwhelmed and scared by the spe...
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tortuga
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4
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269
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I miss my son
(Preview)
I have been working hard on my program but I'm missing my son. He knows not to call me if he's been drinking and if he isn't he is upset I'm guessing. I don't know but I'm sad and a little depressed. I just miss him and I'm hurting inside right now I guess I'm in need of a hug..... -- Edited by Cathyinaz on Th...
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Cathyinaz
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9
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387
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Was thinking about my mom.
(Preview)
I wrote this on the AA board, but I know there are many struggling parents that worry about their adult children on this board and I figured I would share it here too. I don't know what you might gain from this (maybe some hope), but this it just one part of my experience in recovery: For years and year I tho...
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pinkchip
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10
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368
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Just want to say
(Preview)
It's been 3 week since I've seen my son and a couple since I last talked to him. In this time I have been doing good in letting go without the fear and getting better every day. I have finally realized that what I have been doing all this time only made my life worse and didn't help one bit...I HAVE FINALLY C...
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Cathyinaz
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10
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277
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one week on!
(Preview)
So our dear son has a place to stay at my sister inlaws, he has made it into work with a little bit of help from her having to wake him up a few times, she has not been happy with his comings and goings, providing meals for him of which he has not been turning up for, my husband is in constant contact with the pair...
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Katy
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3
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362
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I am such a wimp
(Preview)
My attorney wants me to come in tomorrow to sign the divorce papers so we can finally file. I don't know why I keep having reservations about this. When he is following me around the house calling me a b.... And a coward and crazy I know for sure I need to divorce. Why then do I still have reservations? He has...
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imom
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13
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920
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crazy family PLEASE HELP
(Preview)
Hello, I come from a family of 8 where both of my parents died of alcoholism. I've always accepted this fact and spoke out about alcohol and removed myself from situations when it got crazy. There is a lot of addiction in my family and my siblings wont even talk about the alcoholism of my parents. I'v...
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mattiegee
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5
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345
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Site troubles ?? Still going on ...
(Preview)
I log in and reply to a post, hit submit. Then I am logged out and the post does not appear. Was happening on Friday as well.
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LeenieBeanie
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1
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173
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Newbie...can we talk?
(Preview)
Hi all. I've been wanting to find someone to talk to for weeks now. My man just keeps getting worse and worse. Long story but I'll try to tell the 'nutshell' version: When we got together we both drank...I think at that time I may have even drank more than he did (6 yrs ago). He drank beer and I drank vodk...
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Enabler2013
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9
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297
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sh*t hit the fan - now what?
(Preview)
Last night we hit an all time low around here. My AD got home from work, she got paid yesterday (works a part time job) we have proof that she had stolen some of my husbands SSI check and almost caused our rent check to bounce. We also are sure she recently stole a large amount of his pain medication. We we...
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Mommamimi
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8
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501
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New here...
(Preview)
Hi Everyone I am new here. I live with my boyfriend who is an alcoholic. He is a wonderful person who I love very much. I just don't know how to deal with his drinking and the effects of his drinking...no motivation to get work (he is self-employed) and asking to borrow money from me. I want to help him b...
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Sal77
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3
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176
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