Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

mariposa · mariposa

Hello everyone. I just found this message board a few minutes ago. I signed up for two listserv style groups the other day, but noticed that most of the postings in those are related to meetings and have topics. I don't have the alanon books yet (I ordered them the other day), so I don't re...

jj · jj

This might be long not sure... Went to SIL's house just one of thoes feelings brought her one of our special treat coffee's... Well her hubby (just out of rehab) was on a rampage.... wont get into it... Helpped her just by being there. So any how it was time to get home and get the kiddies to bed a...

babs · babs

I’ve let this disease that belongs to another consume me Accepting impending doom; till I could no longer see I have fed it, fought it, and let it lead I have forgotten who I am, & what it is I need I’ve chosen an endless path with no light I’ve given it my all from day to night I am not winnin...

sanddie · sanddie

It isn't until we realize that we are NEVER alone, despite NOBODY being around that we can truly heal and overcome our circumstances, situations and start a new direction in our life. I remember the days I felt so alone, but now looking back, I realize I wasn't alone, especially because my children w...

wallsal55 · wallsal55

"Do not search for God's(HP's) will. Search for God(HP). Finding God (HP) is all we need to do. --(not sure which minister I scribbled this down from.)* *Neat thought, Find God/HP, the rest will come!

luv123 · luv123

Hi everyone--just some thoughts from the meeting earlier and my week: I have an attitude of gratitude for my hp today. He has been patient with me while I have been in a process of stepping away from Him in a state of doubt and spiritual confusion. Several things happened last week : including dea...

abbyal · abbyal

Hi , I have a friend traveling to Virginia Beach in June , she has committed to voluntering at the World Service Office and is trying to find accomadations close by. If anyone knows of a good bed an breakfast or reasonable hotel in the vacinity it would be greatly appreciated. Thanks Louise&nb...

confusedmom · confusedmom

How do you know when enough is enough? My husband and I are coming up on our 10th anniversary. We have a wonderful 3-year-old son. We have a nice house and new cars. My husband is obsessed with "keeping up" What he doesn't realize is that his drinking is about to shatter all of these "dreams" I d...

lil_feathered_one · lil_feathered_one

Today is a new day. I will not let my feelings get the best of me today. I am feeling better today a little bit. When hubby was late getting home from work last night the knots in my stomach started and those thoughts of "well I know what he will be like when he does get in" started. I must say I was suprised to fi...

lkmason · lkmason

Hi, my husband is an alcoholic and a user. He just finished a 3 week outpatient program last week. He feels like his biggest problem was his cocaine use. He thinks that he has a handle on it, and that a beer every now and then will be okay. He has been saying that if h...

confusedmom · confusedmom

Tonight I came home and dinner was cooking, yard work had been done, there was no drinking . . We had a good night and everyone was able to laugh. The sad part is that these nights are almost as hard as the drinking nights, sometimes. It makes me realize how good we can be and makes me wonder why so ma...

jj · jj

Well all the ultra sound tests came back clear and the cyst that I knew about is not growing but I have "several" small cysts that I was unaware of that have developed in the last 6 months. So it was good news I guess! My body is just having trouble adjusting. So I was glad that I didn't really...

jj · jj

I posted a while ago that my SIL wanted to have a talk to my AH about things that she has noticed in him and that she is concerned about his health. Well she had her talk with him and she thought he really listened to her which sounded good. He may have very well taken her talk to heart but has done...

Jeannie · Jeannie

Well we had another trip to the counselor and scheduled another one for next week. My husband said he has not had a drink since last Thursday when we last went. I do believe him as he looked better than he has and was obviously not drinking tonight. He also said he had been to 2 AA meetings. He did have hi...

Phil · Phil

What is patience? Patience is the ability to: Sit back and wait for an expected outcome without experiencing anxiety, tension, or frustration. Let go of your need for immediate gratification. Display tolerance, compassion, understanding, and acceptance toward those who are sl...

GirlSkates · GirlSkates

I am busy reminding myself that "I am powerless over my husband's alchohol". It's a new mantra...trying to get used to it. He called from the road last night (he travels for work often) and I caught a hint of it in his mood,...and his tone. I know the sound...I suppose we all do. So the...

nycbt · nycbt

I have a problem with my self-esteem. Before Alanon I would have a very hard time dealing with changes. I am trying to do alittle better with that. My husband has gotten his license and is now driving my car which is good, but I have less control over him. I know that is why I get upset when he takes the car....

Phil · Phil

What is insecurity? Insecurity is: Feeling of not being ``good enough'' to meet the challenge of a situation you face in life. Sense of helplessness in the face of problems, conflict, or concerns. Belief that one is inadequate or incompetent to handle life's challenges. Fear of b...

jj · jj

I have all 12 steps posted below, please keep in mind that I found this in naranon but it is the same program, just replacing addict with alcoholic. Addiction is addiction. This has helpped me out with working my program and I hope it helps others here. JJ Step One We admitted we were...

Powerless · Powerless

I am feeling so frustrated and angry today. The therapist came again on Friday and husband claimed to be clean for two weeks. I guess he forgot about the week he smoked last weekend and this week. Today I counted my Klonopin (My doctor gives them to me to sleep) and noticed that four a...

lil_feathered_one · lil_feathered_one

Well I talked to a counsler yesterday and she gave me a number for husband that he could call and make an appointment to be seen and she gave me some good guidence on how to approach him with it. That is what I did today. I couldn't hold my feelings any longer on how his drinking affects me.(although I know I s...

Trish · Trish

I have been in a al anon program for 13 months and I have been helping my a with going to meeting all. Now I think that it is time for me to start working the program for me. In my area there is one meeting a week and I don't feel right in there so that is why I look online for a meeting room. I have been told to work th...

cdb · cdb

Hello friends, I am still out of town helping my parents. I plan to stay with them longer to help them get settled into their cabin too in Canada. We plan to leave to Canada on Thursday. I am not sure if I will have a computer to use there yet or not but will sure come online if I find one to use. This visit has b...

Lanchas · Lanchas

I am working on the 12 steps. I need help with them. Is someone willing to hlep me? Lanchas

angel123 · angel123

Step One: RELAX-> I don't have to be in charge or in control anymore. It's going to be okay. Step Two: RELAX-> I can simply believe that somone stronger than I can restore me to health and wholeness. Step Three: RELAX-> I can easily turn my whole life and well-being over to God, as I understan...

Belongtome · Belongtome

My A has one year sobriety under his belt...and I must say I'm no longer afraid of the physical contact, but it's been a rough year verbally. This past year I opened a retail shop, and that's been my salvation...some time to myself. Since I'm inside all day, yesterday I started going to a tannin...

teddybear · teddybear

Hi, If I am feeling angry, I do not have to take my anger out on others in a destructive way, and I do not have the right. If my usual response is to scream, sulk or to lash out with cruel words, today I can find a new solution of what works for me when I get mad. I can start to see new ways to handle m...

GirlSkates · GirlSkates

hi all - my first post. My first al-anon meeting last night. And I keep thinking, "maybe I am blowing this out of porportion, maybe I am wrong...mabye I really dont need this" I don't think that is the case. I don't know anymore.

jessi · jessi

Hi all, I need your prayers and love like never before. I find myself in a position in which a former crush of mine and a current attraction of mine have decided to hook up. Both have expressed a willingness to not even pursue anything if it means losing my friendship. I feel completely...

Powerless · Powerless

You are wonderfully wonderful. I have felt so welcome and you having a calming effect onme. You all have opened my eyes and helped me to believe that the desire I feel to change is not for nothing. Believe it or not, the slogans are my favorite. Someone told me last night durin...

megan · megan

I left my husband 12 days ago and am living in a local hotel I like not having to deal with my A's drunken behaviour. I like relaxing and not having the high speed interented cut off on a whim I don't miss living in the insanity at all. My husband: scared sober. He wasn't at first, he drank harder....

lil_feathered_one · lil_feathered_one

I keep asking my self that. Husband keeps saying that he wants/ needs help with his drinking, but hasn't took that step to do so. Meanwhile I'm here still dealing with his drinking. My anger is building and my sadness when I look at him I'm finding more difficult to control. I can't help but feel like I nee...

Newbee · Newbee

I was shocked when I told my A sister that I went to Alanon and she was so mad at me! She has admitted to being an A and has gone to 2 AA meetings and was sober for about 2 weeks, but then went back to it and had a bad drunk in front of her kids and friends, etc and is now very upset, ashamed, etc....

Phil · Phil

We often use the expression "good self-esteem, "poor" self-esteem or "no" self-esteem. How does one "esteem" the self and what is the self anyway? Esteem involves loving respect and dignified caring. What of the self? We come into the world with it; it follows us through life like a shadow. If we lose...

nal · nal

Hi, Today I'm feeling a little sad, and I have that familiar knot in my stomach. My dad is my A (alcohol and pills), he has been attending AA daily for about eighteen months and as far as I know has been sober. My mother is a codependent without a program. Last night she was tel...

wallsal55 · wallsal55

"When one door of happiness closes, another one opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us." --Helen Keller

Samena · Samena

Hi everyone, I left my marriage of 10 years to an A last year and I am finding it very difficult to trust another person. I am always questioning their motives and their whereabouts, that it is just driving me insane. So much so, that I am having nightmares of being betrayed again!&n...

AngelBearPoet · AngelBearPoet

I am sorry to say I will not be able to chair the meeting.. The place where I meet for my F2F will be painting the room we meet in.. I am on the paint commity for this.. We will be meeting up there early and painting all morning till the 2pm F2F meeting starts.. Them meeting in another room for that and then pain...

Jeannie · Jeannie

Hi, Phil posted this on the AA board and I found it very interesting. I hope he doesn't mind but I copied it here. THE RELATIONSHIP DUET The Dance of Intimacy By Darlene Lancer, M.A., MFT The relationship duet the dance of intimacy that all couples do. If one partner moves in, the other...

mastiff · mastiff

Hi all, I find myself reciting the closing prayer like I use to say the pledge of allegence when i was a kid in school. It becomes a ritual and I loose the meaning of the words, and just say the words. I have found that a new twist on the same words can help me to bring that meaning back to them and r...

nycbt · nycbt

Hi Everyone I haven't been on this message board in a long time. I have been going to face to face. I have been talking to my new friends from Alanon. I have learn alot of things. My husband has gotten his license and in the begin I was very upset about the change. I have learn to deal with it better. I have be...

richard · richard

…and my God gently laughed. I have not been here for awhile. I have not been here for two reasons or so I thought. Now it seems there is there has been only one. I have been enjoying the heck out of myself by going to a beautiful State park and riding my trail bike eight very hilly miles around the big beautifu...

wallsal55 · wallsal55

Been reading your posts and I want to thank you for sharing. Yes, my spouse is now back in AA, 4 month sobriety, saw him start to teeter, and wondered if he would stop meetings. He did go to an "open" AA dinner last night, and he then went to a meeting last night. Someone in...

teddybear · teddybear

Hi Everyone, I am feeling sad today, because yesterday I spoke to my oldest son, and he started speaking against my younger son. I told him that we don't throw stones, when we live in a glass house. He was talking against my youngest son, telling me that he was drinking yesterday, that...

wallsal55 · wallsal55

" A racehorse has to run, A bird has to fly, An artist has to paint, A teacher has to teach. There is something in you that you have to do. All that is left to do, do it." --(in closing) from Self Matters, by Dr. Phil McGraw ...

debilyn · debilyn

hi, first Phil, we learn best when we really feel the pain. I am not sorry I went over there. I had wanted to all day. It was very ok. I just am very easily hurt, but you know I was given a gift. I found out what kind of person I am. Hp helped me. I did not do any revenge if she would have come out and yelled or tri...

teddybear · teddybear

Hi, I would like to share my experience about how change does become possible when I stay in my own reality, and work on myself. My son has been going from one relationship to another, he had found someone with whom he felt was the right person for him. He felt good about her, since he knew that&...

wille · wille

Hi all, Josh fell out of a tram on his way to a game. Soccer in the UK I believe it is. Now he is TBI (traumatic brain injury) Thank you for your thoughts n dreams n prayers to his life cycle. \/\/ille

gardengal · gardengal

There are many times when I doubt the existance of anything that cares what goes on in this world, let alone in my life. Being agnostic, doubt comes easily to me, belief is difficult. But when I think of how someone guided me to Alanon, when my life was at its darkest, I reflect on times when the words and...

holly123 · holly123

Hi All, Yesterday I got a chance, before my a took off for the day with someone else and got drunk, to talk to him and tell him that I didn't believe he was a bad father but that he needed to realize that we really need him around and not to be drunk and annoying. I got to tel...

kimmie · kimmie

well this morning we (my husband and I) meet my parents at a really nice hotel on the water to have brunch. we have our 2 yr old son with us and i am pregnant with the next. there is bottomless champaign served with brunch and my husband has a couple glasses. i figured we were in th...

debalina36 · debalina36

It has been quite a while since I have posted last and a lot has happened. These past 2 weeks have been the worst. My husbands job had a fire in the area where he worked resulting in a lay off for a few days which turned into a drinking binge for him. I am now working nights until the new guy is trained and that...

debilyn · debilyn

A called me. He had hocked his telecaster. A very expensive antique like guitar. Said if I can't get it, it is gone. Well it is suppose to go to our son, so I took my savings to get MY wedding ring out of hcck, and got it. He was so ashamed, he made me promise not to tell our son what he had done. He was sob...

jkiss03 · jkiss03

I just want to express my sorrow I guess. I am feeling so totally sad,hurt and betrayed. My A asked me tonight to move out. He has told me to leave many times but this time it was different. My daughter, baby son and I are leaving tomorrow. The weird thing is I now have nothing. I mean literly nothing. No job,...

Phil · Phil

Have you ever tried to love someone, but you could feel their emotional walls? You can feel them not letting you in. You can feel the little person trapped inside. Or have you ever felt somebody trying to get to you, but you can feel yourself stopping it? This is how most of us experience relationships. T...

Newbee · Newbee

Just went to my first Al-anon meeting last night. Boy was that hard! I have been reading the posts on this board and am starting to understand how this "self help" stuff could possibly work. But I have a few questions: 1) I have heard about the "detach with love" philosophy, but ob...

lil_feathered_one · lil_feathered_one

Hello all, Had a rough night last night and need to get a few things off my chest. So it begins.... I had to work last night, left kids with hubby. Heck he had told me earlier in the week that it was time that he needed help. Finally I thought I could calm down even if just a little bit. I even asked him if he w...

whatif · whatif

We were supposed to spend the day together. My A and I. I always get such high hopes. This morning we worked in the yard weeding, planting. One small dispute over dumb stuff. Plant placement and where to put weeds. I said I need to take a walk and I just strolled around the house. Came back in a few minutes an...

Jeannie · Jeannie

(((Debilyn))) As always you are so compassionate and wise and I do love and admire you for that. You are so right with me not doing well since the counseling started. I guess I haven't admitted that it is causing me a lot of pain emotionally. I agreed to go to the counseling hoping it might sink in, h...

Lani · Lani

Dear Friends, The book, High Bottom Drunk, speaks for itself: http://www.highbottomdrunk.com Love, Lani Children of Alcoholics http://lanipicard.com/mime.htm

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	New Here (Preview) Hello everyone. I just found this message board a few minutes ago. I signed up for two listserv style groups the other day, but noticed that most of the postings in those are related to meetings and have topics. I don't have the alanon books yet (I ordered them the other day), so I don't re...	mariposa	5	685	May 22, 2005 by mariposa
	VENTING (Preview) This might be long not sure... Went to SIL's house just one of thoes feelings brought her one of our special treat coffee's... Well her hubby (just out of rehab) was on a rampage.... wont get into it... Helpped her just by being there. So any how it was time to get home and get the kiddies to bed a...	jj	2	686	May 22, 2005 by jj
	my path, my choice (Preview) I’ve let this disease that belongs to another consume me Accepting impending doom; till I could no longer see I have fed it, fought it, and let it lead I have forgotten who I am, & what it is I need I’ve chosen an endless path with no light I’ve given it my all from day to night I am not winnin...	babs	8	923	May 22, 2005 by jrtjosey
	NEVER ALONE! (Preview) It isn't until we realize that we are NEVER alone, despite NOBODY being around that we can truly heal and overcome our circumstances, situations and start a new direction in our life. I remember the days I felt so alone, but now looking back, I realize I wasn't alone, especially because my children w...	sanddie	1	647	May 21, 2005 by Shay
	Thought for Today (Preview) "Do not search for God's(HP's) will. Search for God(HP). Finding God (HP) is all we need to do. --(not sure which minister I scribbled this down from.)* *Neat thought, Find God/HP, the rest will come!	wallsal55	0	546	May 21, 2005 by wallsal55
	transcending tuff stuff with HP (Preview) Hi everyone--just some thoughts from the meeting earlier and my week: I have an attitude of gratitude for my hp today. He has been patient with me while I have been in a process of stepping away from Him in a state of doubt and spiritual confusion. Several things happened last week : including dea...	luv123	1	716	May 21, 2005 by cloud
	anyone from Viginia Beach area? (Preview) Hi , I have a friend traveling to Virginia Beach in June , she has committed to voluntering at the World Service Office and is trying to find accomadations close by. If anyone knows of a good bed an breakfast or reasonable hotel in the vacinity it would be greatly appreciated. Thanks Louise&nb...	abbyal	0	642	May 20, 2005 by abbyal
	I don't even know where to start (Preview) How do you know when enough is enough? My husband and I are coming up on our 10th anniversary. We have a wonderful 3-year-old son. We have a nice house and new cars. My husband is obsessed with "keeping up" What he doesn't realize is that his drinking is about to shatter all of these "dreams" I d...	confusedmom	9	972	May 20, 2005 by cloud
	a new day... (Preview) Today is a new day. I will not let my feelings get the best of me today. I am feeling better today a little bit. When hubby was late getting home from work last night the knots in my stomach started and those thoughts of "well I know what he will be like when he does get in" started. I must say I was suprised to fi...	lil_feathered_one	3	811	May 20, 2005 by she123
	New here! (Preview) Hi, my husband is an alcoholic and a user. He just finished a 3 week outpatient program last week. He feels like his biggest problem was his cocaine use. He thinks that he has a handle on it, and that a beer every now and then will be okay. He has been saying that if h...	lkmason	6	969	May 20, 2005 by lkmason
	Tonight was a good night (Preview) Tonight I came home and dinner was cooking, yard work had been done, there was no drinking . . We had a good night and everyone was able to laugh. The sad part is that these nights are almost as hard as the drinking nights, sometimes. It makes me realize how good we can be and makes me wonder why so ma...	confusedmom	6	783	May 20, 2005 by abbyal
	Just got home from DR (Preview) Well all the ultra sound tests came back clear and the cyst that I knew about is not growing but I have "several" small cysts that I was unaware of that have developed in the last 6 months. So it was good news I guess! My body is just having trouble adjusting. So I was glad that I didn't really...	jj	6	747	May 20, 2005 by jj
	Just a share (Preview) I posted a while ago that my SIL wanted to have a talk to my AH about things that she has noticed in him and that she is concerned about his health. Well she had her talk with him and she thought he really listened to her which sounded good. He may have very well taken her talk to heart but has done...	jj	4	851	May 20, 2005 by jj
	For tonight at least I feel happy (Preview) Well we had another trip to the counselor and scheduled another one for next week. My husband said he has not had a drink since last Thursday when we last went. I do believe him as he looked better than he has and was obviously not drinking tonight. He also said he had been to 2 AA meetings. He did have hi...	Jeannie	8	845	May 20, 2005 by TLC2
	Learning Patience (Preview) What is patience? Patience is the ability to: Sit back and wait for an expected outcome without experiencing anxiety, tension, or frustration. Let go of your need for immediate gratification. Display tolerance, compassion, understanding, and acceptance toward those who are sl...	Phil	0	800	May 20, 2005 by Phil
	IF I had the power.... (Preview) I am busy reminding myself that "I am powerless over my husband's alchohol". It's a new mantra...trying to get used to it. He called from the road last night (he travels for work often) and I caught a hint of it in his mood,...and his tone. I know the sound...I suppose we all do. So the...	GirlSkates	2	817	May 20, 2005 by melanieL
	self-esteem (Preview) I have a problem with my self-esteem. Before Alanon I would have a very hard time dealing with changes. I am trying to do alittle better with that. My husband has gotten his license and is now driving my car which is good, but I have less control over him. I know that is why I get upset when he takes the car....	nycbt	3	794	May 20, 2005 by DanaAngel
	Insecurity (Preview) What is insecurity? Insecurity is: Feeling of not being ``good enough'' to meet the challenge of a situation you face in life. Sense of helplessness in the face of problems, conflict, or concerns. Belief that one is inadequate or incompetent to handle life's challenges. Fear of b...	Phil	3	870	May 20, 2005 by lildee
	12 steps explained (Preview) I have all 12 steps posted below, please keep in mind that I found this in naranon but it is the same program, just replacing addict with alcoholic. Addiction is addiction. This has helpped me out with working my program and I hope it helps others here. JJ Step One We admitted we were...	jj	17	3968	May 20, 2005 by Lanchas
	So frustrated (Preview) I am feeling so frustrated and angry today. The therapist came again on Friday and husband claimed to be clean for two weeks. I guess he forgot about the week he smoked last weekend and this week. Today I counted my Klonopin (My doctor gives them to me to sleep) and noticed that four a...	Powerless	7	1004	May 20, 2005 by honeybunnydog
	unsure and scared (Preview) Well I talked to a counsler yesterday and she gave me a number for husband that he could call and make an appointment to be seen and she gave me some good guidence on how to approach him with it. That is what I did today. I couldn't hold my feelings any longer on how his drinking affects me.(although I know I s...	lil_feathered_one	6	1023	May 20, 2005 by Mark S
	online sponsorship (Preview) I have been in a al anon program for 13 months and I have been helping my a with going to meeting all. Now I think that it is time for me to start working the program for me. In my area there is one meeting a week and I don't feel right in there so that is why I look online for a meeting room. I have been told to work th...	Trish	5	833	May 19, 2005 by DanaAngel
	cdb is still out of town :) (Preview) Hello friends, I am still out of town helping my parents. I plan to stay with them longer to help them get settled into their cabin too in Canada. We plan to leave to Canada on Thursday. I am not sure if I will have a computer to use there yet or not but will sure come online if I find one to use. This visit has b...	cdb	6	763	May 19, 2005 by cloud
	Step Help (Preview) I am working on the 12 steps. I need help with them. Is someone willing to hlep me? Lanchas	Lanchas	6	598	May 19, 2005 by Lanchas
	relax (Preview) Step One: RELAX-> I don't have to be in charge or in control anymore. It's going to be okay. Step Two: RELAX-> I can simply believe that somone stronger than I can restore me to health and wholeness. Step Three: RELAX-> I can easily turn my whole life and well-being over to God, as I understan...	angel123	3	794	May 19, 2005 by nycbt
	Sober is rough too (Preview) My A has one year sobriety under his belt...and I must say I'm no longer afraid of the physical contact, but it's been a rough year verbally. This past year I opened a retail shop, and that's been my salvation...some time to myself. Since I'm inside all day, yesterday I started going to a tannin...	Belongtome	9	1252	May 19, 2005 by nycbt
	Reminder for today (Preview) Hi, If I am feeling angry, I do not have to take my anger out on others in a destructive way, and I do not have the right. If my usual response is to scream, sulk or to lash out with cruel words, today I can find a new solution of what works for me when I get mad. I can start to see new ways to handle m...	teddybear	8	664	May 19, 2005 by nycbt
	surely not (Preview) hi all - my first post. My first al-anon meeting last night. And I keep thinking, "maybe I am blowing this out of porportion, maybe I am wrong...mabye I really dont need this" I don't think that is the case. I don't know anymore.	GirlSkates	12	927	May 19, 2005 by Jeannie
	lost and scared (Preview) Hi all, I need your prayers and love like never before. I find myself in a position in which a former crush of mine and a current attraction of mine have decided to hook up. Both have expressed a willingness to not even pursue anything if it means losing my friendship. I feel completely...	jessi	2	536	May 19, 2005 by Jeannie
	I can't believe all of you... (Preview) You are wonderfully wonderful. I have felt so welcome and you having a calming effect onme. You all have opened my eyes and helped me to believe that the desire I feel to change is not for nothing. Believe it or not, the slogans are my favorite. Someone told me last night durin...	Powerless	2	745	May 19, 2005 by nycbt
	Day 12 Just an update. (Preview) I left my husband 12 days ago and am living in a local hotel I like not having to deal with my A's drunken behaviour. I like relaxing and not having the high speed interented cut off on a whim I don't miss living in the insanity at all. My husband: scared sober. He wasn't at first, he drank harder....	megan	7	932	May 19, 2005 by nycbt
	right thing to do? (Preview) I keep asking my self that. Husband keeps saying that he wants/ needs help with his drinking, but hasn't took that step to do so. Meanwhile I'm here still dealing with his drinking. My anger is building and my sadness when I look at him I'm finding more difficult to control. I can't help but feel like I nee...	lil_feathered_one	5	830	May 19, 2005 by jo4
	"A" mad that I went to Alanon (Preview) I was shocked when I told my A sister that I went to Alanon and she was so mad at me! She has admitted to being an A and has gone to 2 AA meetings and was sober for about 2 weeks, but then went back to it and had a bad drunk in front of her kids and friends, etc and is now very upset, ashamed, etc....	Newbee	11	1080	May 18, 2005 by lin0606
	Self Esteem (Preview) We often use the expression "good self-esteem, "poor" self-esteem or "no" self-esteem. How does one "esteem" the self and what is the self anyway? Esteem involves loving respect and dignified caring. What of the self? We come into the world with it; it follows us through life like a shadow. If we lose...	Phil	0	847	May 18, 2005 by Phil
	Stomach Knot (Preview) Hi, Today I'm feeling a little sad, and I have that familiar knot in my stomach. My dad is my A (alcohol and pills), he has been attending AA daily for about eighteen months and as far as I know has been sober. My mother is a codependent without a program. Last night she was tel...	nal	5	1013	May 18, 2005 by Powerless
	Quote for Today (Preview) "When one door of happiness closes, another one opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us." --Helen Keller	wallsal55	1	604	May 18, 2005 by Belongtome
	Trust? (Preview) Hi everyone, I left my marriage of 10 years to an A last year and I am finding it very difficult to trust another person. I am always questioning their motives and their whereabouts, that it is just driving me insane. So much so, that I am having nightmares of being betrayed again!&n...	Samena	2	837	May 18, 2005 by abbyal
	Saturday May 21,2005 (Preview) I am sorry to say I will not be able to chair the meeting.. The place where I meet for my F2F will be painting the room we meet in.. I am on the paint commity for this.. We will be meeting up there early and painting all morning till the 2pm F2F meeting starts.. Them meeting in another room for that and then pain...	AngelBearPoet	0	672	May 18, 2005 by AngelBearPoet
	From AA board- Relationship Dance (Preview) Hi, Phil posted this on the AA board and I found it very interesting. I hope he doesn't mind but I copied it here. THE RELATIONSHIP DUET The Dance of Intimacy By Darlene Lancer, M.A., MFT The relationship duet the dance of intimacy that all couples do. If one partner moves in, the other...	Jeannie	0	928	May 18, 2005 by Jeannie
	Our Closing Prayer (Preview) Hi all, I find myself reciting the closing prayer like I use to say the pledge of allegence when i was a kid in school. It becomes a ritual and I loose the meaning of the words, and just say the words. I have found that a new twist on the same words can help me to bring that meaning back to them and r...	mastiff	2	3930	May 18, 2005 by luv123
	I HAVE COME A LONG WAY (Preview) Hi Everyone I haven't been on this message board in a long time. I have been going to face to face. I have been talking to my new friends from Alanon. I have learn alot of things. My husband has gotten his license and in the begin I was very upset about the change. I have learn to deal with it better. I have be...	nycbt	4	786	May 18, 2005 by megan
	I told God my plans once... (Preview) …and my God gently laughed. I have not been here for awhile. I have not been here for two reasons or so I thought. Now it seems there is there has been only one. I have been enjoying the heck out of myself by going to a beautiful State park and riding my trail bike eight very hilly miles around the big beautifu...	richard	2	844	May 18, 2005 by Diva
	Jeannie.... (Preview) Been reading your posts and I want to thank you for sharing. Yes, my spouse is now back in AA, 4 month sobriety, saw him start to teeter, and wondered if he would stop meetings. He did go to an "open" AA dinner last night, and he then went to a meeting last night. Someone in...	wallsal55	1	621	May 17, 2005 by Jeannie
	It is never easy (Preview) Hi Everyone, I am feeling sad today, because yesterday I spoke to my oldest son, and he started speaking against my younger son. I told him that we don't throw stones, when we live in a glass house. He was talking against my youngest son, telling me that he was drinking yesterday, that...	teddybear	4	789	May 17, 2005 by teddybear
	Quote for Today (Preview) " A racehorse has to run, A bird has to fly, An artist has to paint, A teacher has to teach. There is something in you that you have to do. All that is left to do, do it." --(in closing) from Self Matters, by Dr. Phil McGraw ...	wallsal55	0	600	May 17, 2005 by wallsal55
	Thank you to you gusys and hp (Preview) hi, first Phil, we learn best when we really feel the pain. I am not sorry I went over there. I had wanted to all day. It was very ok. I just am very easily hurt, but you know I was given a gift. I found out what kind of person I am. Hp helped me. I did not do any revenge if she would have come out and yelled or tri...	debilyn	6	749	May 17, 2005 by jj
	With the help of the HP (Preview) Hi, I would like to share my experience about how change does become possible when I stay in my own reality, and work on myself. My son has been going from one relationship to another, he had found someone with whom he felt was the right person for him. He felt good about her, since he knew that&...	teddybear	4	713	May 17, 2005 by teddybear
	Thoughts to Josh (Preview) Hi all, Josh fell out of a tram on his way to a game. Soccer in the UK I believe it is. Now he is TBI (traumatic brain injury) Thank you for your thoughts n dreams n prayers to his life cycle. \/\/ille	wille	13	1358	May 17, 2005 by wille
	I WANT WHAT IS GOOD FOR ME (Preview) There are many times when I doubt the existance of anything that cares what goes on in this world, let alone in my life. Being agnostic, doubt comes easily to me, belief is difficult. But when I think of how someone guided me to Alanon, when my life was at its darkest, I reflect on times when the words and...	gardengal	3	846	May 17, 2005 by Jeannie
	just venting (Preview) Hi All, Yesterday I got a chance, before my a took off for the day with someone else and got drunk, to talk to him and tell him that I didn't believe he was a bad father but that he needed to realize that we really need him around and not to be drunk and annoying. I got to tel...	holly123	5	844	May 17, 2005 by Jeannie
	cant take much more... (Preview) well this morning we (my husband and I) meet my parents at a really nice hotel on the water to have brunch. we have our 2 yr old son with us and i am pregnant with the next. there is bottomless champaign served with brunch and my husband has a couple glasses. i figured we were in th...	kimmie	6	735	May 16, 2005 by Jeannie
	Husband Getting Medical Help (Preview) It has been quite a while since I have posted last and a lot has happened. These past 2 weeks have been the worst. My husbands job had a fire in the area where he worked resulting in a lay off for a few days which turned into a drinking binge for him. I am now working nights until the new guy is trained and that...	debalina36	11	966	May 16, 2005 by tiredtonite
	Is this IT? (Preview) A called me. He had hocked his telecaster. A very expensive antique like guitar. Said if I can't get it, it is gone. Well it is suppose to go to our son, so I took my savings to get MY wedding ring out of hcck, and got it. He was so ashamed, he made me promise not to tell our son what he had done. He was sob...	debilyn	5	861	May 16, 2005 by iona54
	I guess it is over (Preview) I just want to express my sorrow I guess. I am feeling so totally sad,hurt and betrayed. My A asked me tonight to move out. He has told me to leave many times but this time it was different. My daughter, baby son and I are leaving tomorrow. The weird thing is I now have nothing. I mean literly nothing. No job,...	jkiss03	8	936	May 16, 2005 by nmike
	Emotional Walls (Preview) Have you ever tried to love someone, but you could feel their emotional walls? You can feel them not letting you in. You can feel the little person trapped inside. Or have you ever felt somebody trying to get to you, but you can feel yourself stopping it? This is how most of us experience relationships. T...	Phil	5	1362	May 16, 2005 by Samena
	Detachment...How much & how? (Preview) Just went to my first Al-anon meeting last night. Boy was that hard! I have been reading the posts on this board and am starting to understand how this "self help" stuff could possibly work. But I have a few questions: 1) I have heard about the "detach with love" philosophy, but ob...	Newbee	5	934	May 16, 2005 by holly123
	rough night (Preview) Hello all, Had a rough night last night and need to get a few things off my chest. So it begins.... I had to work last night, left kids with hubby. Heck he had told me earlier in the week that it was time that he needed help. Finally I thought I could calm down even if just a little bit. I even asked him if he w...	lil_feathered_one	6	992	May 16, 2005 by Jeannie
	Such Anquish (Preview) We were supposed to spend the day together. My A and I. I always get such high hopes. This morning we worked in the yard weeding, planting. One small dispute over dumb stuff. Plant placement and where to put weeds. I said I need to take a walk and I just strolled around the house. Came back in a few minutes an...	whatif	4	904	May 16, 2005 by holly123
	Debilyn (Preview) (((Debilyn))) As always you are so compassionate and wise and I do love and admire you for that. You are so right with me not doing well since the counseling started. I guess I haven't admitted that it is causing me a lot of pain emotionally. I agreed to go to the counseling hoping it might sink in, h...	Jeannie	4	817	May 16, 2005 by Jeannie
	HIGH BOTTOM DRUNK - the book (Preview) Dear Friends, The book, *High Bottom Drunk, speaks for itself: http://www.highbottomdrunk.com* Love, Lani Children of Alcoholics http://lanipicard.com/mime.htm	Lani	0	679	May 16, 2005 by Lani
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.