The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
A couple who I have worked with for quite a fewwyears are retiring and moving south.
My company is having a retirement party for them June 4. Today the girls at work where talking about it and told me they would love me to come but know I won't go. I asked why and they said unless it is something for the kids or the schools, no one can drag you out.
I thought about it, I go to awards dinners with the kids, and school functions, but I haven't even gone to a Wedding in years. My husband was going to get drunk and I would be miserable so I just sent a gift and declined. He has gone to affairs with his family, but the kids and I do not go. Basically I don't go anywhere with adults.
I think I shocked everyone this afternoon, I told the girl running it I will be there and paid my share. A few of my coworkers where busting chops about me not showing up. One is even kidding that she might start a pool. I didn't realize I had become that unsocial.
I live in sweat clothes and jeans and wear my hair either in a pony tail or with sunglasses on my head as a headband. I don't even have my own makeup anymore. On the rare occasion I wear it I borrow from my daughters.
I am going to buy myself something nice to wear (okay old habits die hard, I need something to wear to graduation and the Senior awards banquet anyway). I am going to treat myself to a hair cut and I am going to go out with my coworkers like a grownup.
While I love every second I spend with my kids, and I don't intend to stop doing things with them. It isn't good for them or me if I am hiding out with them.
Good for you - I know exactly what you mean. Isolation is one of the worst problems those who are married to A's have - whether to avoid being out in public with him drunk, or just because we don't have the energy or "party spirit". Get a facial and a manicure, too, why not?
I am so impressed with your new attitude!! What a wonderful gift that you are giving to yourself and you are changing the things that you can change. I think that you will be an inspiration to your children, when they see that you are taking care of yourself, and having a good time. I think that you are on your way, and good things will be coming your way. Keep up the good work, and have a great time!! I really support you, and I am proud of you!!
Good for you! I am on guard against isolating, and when I let my guard down I find I am slipping into my own hiding world. Have fun at the event. (A good haircut is a treat).
