Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

debilyn · debilyn

Well uno I saw A last Sunday. Said he would call. Did not hold my breath. Was hoping though. Today was his day off so really thought he would call. nope. Honestly? yep yep yep, broke my heart more. is it worse to not have him in my life or more is it better to leave the door open to him just in case,...

shimo · shimo

Hope to see you there tomorrow evening! Everyone is welcome to attend our business meetings whether you have been with us a short time or a long time; your input is valuable to us!

GENERAL BUSINESS GROUP CONSCIENCE MEETING August 3, 2005 - 7:00 PM EST - Al-Anon Chatroom C...

sanddie · sanddie

Anxious soul, God is saying to you today, "Be still, and know that I am God". And there's a reason He's saying it. Your activity, when born out of anxiety, actually prevents Him from showing Himself strong on your behalf. That doesn't mean you're to be passive or lazy; it just means...

sanddie · sanddie

I just wanted to share a daily passage from a book I received from a radio station in my area.... The poorest man in the world is not the one without money, he's the one without a vision for his life. But vision requires focus. When you're spread too thin you become mediocre at everything a...

TLC2 · TLC2

Well friends, It lasted longer than (deep down inside) I thought it would.. Tonight was the second night in a row that I came home (my daughter just had a baby) and he was drunk. I believe he found some vodka last night. Tonight, he had over 10 beer,(according to him) so that means more! Yadda, yadda yad...

dove · dove

When I asked him why he sought the company of other women he told me – after he first tried to blame it on the alcohol – that he wanted the attention. And yet he – allegedly – dropped her without so much as a by-your-leave. So he threw us away for something that he threw away without a backwards glance. &nbs...

david62 · david62

Hello Everyone, I was at a meeting of my home group this past Thursday night that leads me to write this. There was a newbie at this meeting, for whom it was their 3rd meeting. This person had been in a situation the night before with their "A" that had upset them very much. This happ...

cdb · cdb

Hello, For some reason the room is full of spammers! Big time! If any OP happens to read this please come and kick them out. ty cdb

lin0606 · lin0606

The other day I was going to the grocery store, and my 15 year old son said "I'm coming with you, I'm bored". This struck me for several reasons. One, how many 15 year old boys WANT to go shopping with their moms? He really should have gotten a job this summer, if he's THAT bored! The second is more what I wa...

browneyes · browneyes

Hi Kathy I just wanted to tell you how happy I am that you are here. It really helps me to see the other side of addiction and have a lot more compassion, something I was seriously lacking. So I appreciate your contributions to this board. And congratulations on your reco...

kitty · kitty

I was philosophical at first but I guess the reality of my life is setting in. I knew my step dad had a drinking problem but to find out he lacks any of the character traits I value - I mean I knew in business people lie & "lay on the charm, shmooze" -- having no idea that he truly has no honor whatsoe...

jaybird · jaybird

What are you suppose to do when you quit drinking and your husband continues, and now we do not have anything in common...He drinks out in the barn and I go to church. this weekend it started Friday nite with his friends,,,doing drugs and no sleep. I will not go out to the barn because...

marmare · marmare

Hi All, My computer at home is on the fritz, kids went to a site that has loaded the home computer with ad-ware. YUCK.... After my A called Friday, I truly believed that he would come home early and try to make amends. When I didn't hear from him by 11pm I went to bed. I awoke at 3 am an...

DanaAngel · DanaAngel

There was a medical show on last night and one of the patients was a Parkinson's patient. They were going to perform surgery on him to install one of those transmitters in his brain to control the intense shaking. He was young about 47, so a good candidate for the surgery. In my fathe...

Peggy7 · Peggy7

"Self-Blame" Today let's talk about self-blame. Unreasonable expectations and self-blame can really make our lives miserable. For example, how often do you hear yourself say something such as, "I left the car lights on - how could I be so stupid?" Or, "I really put my foot i...

Kim · Kim

the last two days have been horrible. right now I am sitting here after an all out brawl with my A, he was gone all day yesterday (at family's) and all day he kept shutting his phone off in order to "control" me and my feelings. He left at 10 came back at 10 and I foolishly let him torture me instead of li...

LLPluv · LLPluv

I need to hear what boundries others have used or are using. It can help me develop some sort of set of boundries I might want to use. I am not the type of person who sets boundries for my A says its a way of me controling what he can and can not do. But I am ready now to research boundries and select a few I KNO...

cdb · cdb

Thank you so much for you kind words and compliment the other day. :) I guess I was needed where I was and now my path must change. At least you were one that noticed things that others don't. I need to use my energy to take care of me now. I do have a chronic illness and chronic depression and it is time to put th...

ditto · ditto

Well the A has been very emotional. His mood swings are really fierce and driving me crazy. One moment he is loving, the next he is clingy and depressed, the next he is angry and mean. From moment to moment I don't know what to expect. He has told me that he stopped drinking in Ap...

sanddie · sanddie

I read a book the other day by Max Lucado, "It's Not About Me". Perhaps if there comes a day that everyone realizes that our lives are not about us, we can all overcome our emotional bounds to such unhealthy relationships. I know that is what I strive for because there is NO person above God-...

haximon · haximon

[[ room ]] I know my destination...portland, oregon! I cannot thank you enough for being so nice to me during this hard time. Thanks to all who offered to help me through this...it is appreciated more than you know... I am leaving on the 5th and will take every chance to get online...

Lani · Lani

Dear Family, I apologize for the delay in sharing my "one-liner" list. I have a hole in my head. Copy and paste them into a file on your desktop and share them often. They are life-savers when living with a diseased loved one. (interesting how the word "diseased" resembles the word "d...

starlight · starlight

Greetings everyone, I am looking for people interested in joining my fearbuster group. We will meet for 12 weeks via the phone. My fearbuster groups are based on the principles of the book Fearless Living: Live Without Excuses and Love Without Regret by Rhonda Britten. Fearles...

dove · dove

I am at a loss to see how there can be anything substantive between us. He completely bamboozled me for years. I am not ready to put myself in that position again. Maybe I never will be. It wasn’t easy for me to surrender myself to a man, to love. And now – it may be impossible. I may not have enough life le...

hvnly1 · hvnly1

Guess it really ticks some people off to see others doing well. I don't care. I will do what i need to do for me. For that is what Al anon is about. I will seek MY HP. I will submitt to my HP. I know i can't be anyone else's HP. I know that HP will show people what th...

cdb · cdb

Hello everyone, Thanks again for your unconditional support. My daughter stopped by today. She made herself something to eat and enjoyed time with her kitten. I was still feeling quite numb and know that I already said all the things I wanted to say to her this past week. Repeating&nb...

Peggy7 · Peggy7

Our father Who Art In Heaven. Yes? Don't interrupt me. I'm praying. But -- you called ME! Called you? No, I didn't call you. I'm praying. Our Father who art in Heaven. There -- you did it again! Did what? Called ME. You said, "Our Father who art in Heaven" Well, here I am. What's on your mind? But I d...

marmare · marmare

Okay so I started freaking myself out about money, this is the day I write the check for the mortgage, he usually deposits his check around 4:30 or 5, I called the automated line and there was no deposit. The "what if game" started playing in my head.....deep breaths, let go let God....t...

marmare · marmare

When he didn't come home last night, I figured he would call me when he got off work. I called his voice mail and had left him a message to let me know what is going on. I tried to call his phone, he won't answer it. I hate feeling unwanted.....it is lonely and empty.....

mom to 2 · mom to 2

Hi everyone, I will start by saying that I know I need to focus on myself. I'm trying-going to meeting tomorrrow evening. My second. As I write this I am staring at a picture of myself and my husband hugging--we were happy. His drinking was getting progressively worse--he knew and...

kitty · kitty

The A is already self-involved - it (the program) seems pretty straight forward for them. For me, the struggle to keep focus on myself is really difficult, since we disassociate so much from ourselves - always concerned with how, when or why the A is doing. I thnk God for this board, the last 5 d...

Mandi · Mandi

I have not seen my alcoholic ex husband in over two years (except for once in court) and yet I am still terrified of him. My step daughters birthday was today and she now lives in another state with him. I bought her a card and let her little brother sign his name to it. As I signed mine, I...

browneyes · browneyes

I think there is seriously something wrong with me. I am 36 years old and last month I tried to go out with someone who is 23. I met him last summer and again I saw him at the grocery store last month and gave him my phone number.. I didn't know he was that young. But anyway...

LLPluv · LLPluv

I have been married for 14 years to a wonderful man. He has one flaw he has addiction issues. First it was his drinking it moved to smoking pot then occasionally he does a line or two. You could never tell by his behavior hes so good to everyone. He has always provided well for myself and the children. Hes lo...

haximon · haximon

I have just found out I will be evicted from my apartment on the 5th as I have no money left. I will be moving to parts unknown as yet...I'm a free agent. If anyone has connections to get me to a safer start where you are, please post! Thank you [[[ room ]]] haximon

mamasan · mamasan

Wow, Last week my x-A, father to our kids, (and who knows how may more...) suffered a stroke, heart attack and a drug overdose with alcohol adding to that. He was found fully clothed in, a tub full of water, partially submerged, in the rooming house he lives in. Claimi...

Maggie1 · Maggie1

Hi everybody.. I turned 50 this year and my life has taken and interesting turn.. I have set boundries with my family, friends and stepdaughter. My husband is beginning to think I have a problem but I have been in therapy over this. The dr. said I am cleaning house. ...

kitty · kitty

So I was happier today but i didn't want to work & finish my project, I wanted to hang w/ mom. The A is being so irritating, the last few days he is just not leaving my mother alone. I cannot believe he wants to poke her fire ~ just leave her alone! Can't he see she needs space? Doesn't he real...

megan · megan

Hello friends I am going on tour for the next few months. August I will be in Saranac lake NY to visit my sister August I will be in Houston to visit my other sister. September I will be in Canada (1 hour west of Calgary) September – Jackson Hole, WY September – North Carolina 1 hour fr...

ditto · ditto

I don't know why he can't tell the truth about anything. But, he doesn't. And I have stopped believing anything he says. I never know what is fact and what is made up. How does anyone live with that kind of shifting reality? How do you deal with it?

marmare · marmare

First thank you Louise for the wonderful except. I put in on my desk at work and will place it in my daily meditation book!!!!! I feel that I am living with Sybil....My A called me on his way home to tell me was going to stop and play 9 holes of golf. We have pizza on Thursdays, so I asked if I sho...

debilyn · debilyn

Well around here, the Great Pyrenees, Sauveur wakes us all up when the sun comes up. But this morning it was 4:00, still dark. Since I could not go back to sleep, I decided to fix my glasses. The darn arm kept falling off, along with the lens popping out, was a bit of a hassle. It is pretty much a drag to ha...

marmare · marmare

Good Morning... This is the worst it has ever been. I went home last night, my A was bar-b-queing.....he said I looked great in my shorts, kind of hugged me and kissed the top of my head....we ate dinner, I didn't say too much. Still reeling somewhat from the last two weeks. I don't...

cdb · cdb

Hello friends, Josey recently replied to my post asking for prayers for her son way down below or on the next page now. I am not sure why she didn't start a new post since he doesn't sound very well :( I am sure more prayers are needed at this time. Please go and see what she posted. Hopefully she wil...

ditto · ditto

I went to my first face-2-face al-anon meeting today. It only lasted about 1.5 hours and it took all of 15 minutes to arrive home. When I got home there was the A accusing me of ruining our marriage by seeking outside "therapy" and that he should be the one I "turn to" and that he is going to sol...

tullemars · tullemars

Somedays are just great.

I told my A last night I was wrong to question why she did not want to go her meetings. It made me feel great. I know my HP has plans for me and my A. I am back on track in making me happy. Sometimes it is tough realize that maybe your spouse isn't suppose to be...

kitty · kitty

I have a bad feeling today will be a struggle from moment to moment. Detachment will probably be the most difficult thing for me to actualize. For 20 yrs I felt like there was something wrong with me, like I was always letting my parents down. I couldn't really find peace of mind, joy...

cdb · cdb

Is this a bad dream or a nightmare? This must be a nightmare! I can hardly stand this anymore. Not only is my daughter paranoid and drunk right now and was violent again, but there is someone else is in the room with more problems than my daughter? I feel guilty posting. My daughter doesn't have kid...

cdb · cdb

Hello all, jrtjosey called me tonite and asked me to ask you for prayers for one of her twin boys. She is on vacation at her mother's house and her son came down with severe lower quadrant pain, high fever and a high white count. So far they ruled appendicitis out. She has a bed next t...

Cindyb · Cindyb

I have been in the program for quite a while. I have an only child, son, leaving for Iraq in a couple weeks. He's in the Air Force. I am looking for 12 step experience in how your handled it. Help !!! Cindy

Kim · Kim

Hello. this is my first time posting here, and honestly I don't know where to start. I have been married to my A for 3 years and with him for 5. He has been in and out of recovery for the last three (for drugs and alcohol)and I just recently found out that he relapsed and has been smokin...

afglin · afglin

Last night I accidentally stumbled across a little brown bag. (the kind the liquor stores use) I glanced around for the empty bottle and found none so i looked out on t he patio in the gutter and found 3 empty bottles. (there may be more) I was really disappointed. I could not even get to slee...

dove · dove

I got an email from "B" on 7/15/2005. He gave documented proof of a "romantic" liasion between his wife and my husband -- my A. It was incredibly, painfully, infuriatingly difficult to deal with the information in the email. Text messages "A" wrote to her include "Y...

Carol · Carol

I need to vent, talk it out, stop hurting, ect. I told my A that he could not come home as I don't want to live the way I was living and that it was best for me. He was not happy with me to say the least. Remember nothing has changed, except the fact that I am not the same person that kept takin...

tullemars · tullemars

Hello all, I hope all of you are thinking about yourself and not your A. Not like me who still falls in love again and again. I try to keep my emotions at a healthy level but sometimes I start to love too much. Then I get dissapointed. She is in recovery now and I see signs that she might not be makin...

wille · wille

Hi all, Josh's family wants to thank everyone for their dreams / thoughts / to Josh. He is coming right along in his recovery. Josh TBI-s some months back and with everyone's thought, he is coming right around. Thank you again, and my thoughts n prayers n hopes to you as well. Oceans...

marmare · marmare

I use to dread the quiet times, when my A is not being so crazy. I use to wait for the other shoe to drop. What crisis is next? After the drama filled weekend, the hurt, the disapointment, the doubting of the HP plans, I found that last night and today are quiet days. The di...

beachbaby · beachbaby

Hi, I am new to this board but I could use some insight to my reaction. I am currently dating a Recovering A who has been sober for a year, he is very active in AA, working the steps, spending time with his sponsor, etc. Friday he started getting sick throwing up, weak, blury vision-despite bei...

nmike · nmike

Hi all, I appreciate your posts. I learn so much. Well, my husband has been gone for 2 months. At times we can barely be civil on the phone. I can't figure out why he is so angry at me when he's the one that moved out! We are going to see our son in the military this weekend. He will be going overseas i...

Siverhusk · Siverhusk

My A (husband) is starting his first night of outpatient treatment tonight and I would just like to hear some success stories or failure stories. Not sure what to expect from all of this.... He had an assessment today (that I went to with him, he asked me to go) and the lady said he definitel...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Today for reals (Preview) Well uno I saw A last Sunday. Said he would call. Did not hold my breath. Was hoping though. Today was his day off so really thought he would call. nope. Honestly? yep yep yep, broke my heart more. is it worse to not have him in my life or more is it better to leave the door open to him just in case,...	debilyn	4	738	Aug 2, 2005 by Belongtome
	BUS MTG AGENDA - AUGUST 3, 2005 (Preview) Hope to see you there tomorrow evening! Everyone is welcome to attend our business meetings whether you have been with us a short time or a long time; your input is valuable to us! GENERAL BUSINESS GROUP CONSCIENCE MEETING August 3, 2005 - 7:00 PM EST - Al-Anon Chatroom C...	shimo	1	564	Aug 2, 2005 by cabecka
	Be Still, And Know That I Am God (HP) (Preview) Anxious soul, God is saying to you today, "Be still, and know that I am God". And there's a reason He's saying it. Your activity, when born out of anxiety, actually prevents Him from showing Himself strong on your behalf. That doesn't mean you're to be passive or lazy; it just means...	sanddie	4	789	Aug 2, 2005 by cdb
	Stay Focused (Preview) I just wanted to share a daily passage from a book I received from a radio station in my area.... The poorest man in the world is not the one without money, he's the one without a vision for his life. But vision requires focus. When you're spread too thin you become mediocre at everything a...	sanddie	1	677	Aug 2, 2005 by cdb
	Party's over or has it just begun?? (Preview) Well friends, It lasted longer than (deep down inside) I thought it would.. Tonight was the second night in a row that I came home (my daughter just had a baby) and he was drunk. I believe he found some vodka last night. Tonight, he had over 10 beer,(according to him) so that means more! Yadda, yadda yad...	TLC2	5	699	Aug 2, 2005 by cdb
	More Me, Less Rat (Preview) When I asked him why he sought the company of other women he told me – after he first tried to blame it on the alcohol – that he wanted the attention. And yet he – allegedly – dropped her without so much as a by-your-leave. So he threw us away for something that he threw away without a backwards glance. &nbs...	dove	8	727	Aug 1, 2005 by lin0606
	Calls for Help (Preview) Hello Everyone, I was at a meeting of my home group this past Thursday night that leads me to write this. There was a newbie at this meeting, for whom it was their 3rd meeting. This person had been in a situation the night before with their "A" that had upset them very much. This happ...	david62	12	694	Aug 1, 2005 by cdb
	3am central time,,Need OP In room (Preview) Hello, For some reason the room is full of spammers! Big time! If any OP happens to read this please come and kick them out. ty cdb	cdb	8	908	Aug 1, 2005 by tea2
	Feeling welcome (Preview) The other day I was going to the grocery store, and my 15 year old son said "I'm coming with you, I'm bored". This struck me for several reasons. One, how many 15 year old boys WANT to go shopping with their moms? He really should have gotten a job this summer, if he's THAT bored! The second is more what I wa...	lin0606	4	556	Aug 1, 2005 by cdb
	For Kathy570 (Preview) Hi Kathy I just wanted to tell you how happy I am that you are here. It really helps me to see the other side of addiction and have a lot more compassion, something I was seriously lacking. So I appreciate your contributions to this board. And congratulations on your reco...	browneyes	2	488	Aug 1, 2005 by cdb
	raw (Preview) I was philosophical at first but I guess the reality of my life is setting in. I knew my step dad had a drinking problem but to find out he lacks any of the character traits I value - I mean I knew in business people lie & "lay on the charm, shmooze" -- having no idea that he truly has no honor whatsoe...	kitty	4	602	Aug 1, 2005 by cdb
	Husbands Drinking (Preview) What are you suppose to do when you quit drinking and your husband continues, and now we do not have anything in common...He drinks out in the barn and I go to church. this weekend it started Friday nite with his friends,,,doing drugs and no sleep. I will not go out to the barn because...	jaybird	3	590	Aug 1, 2005 by cdb
	Monday Morning (Preview) Hi All, My computer at home is on the fritz, kids went to a site that has loaded the home computer with ad-ware. YUCK.... After my A called Friday, I truly believed that he would come home early and try to make amends. When I didn't hear from him by 11pm I went to bed. I awoke at 3 am an...	marmare	2	505	Aug 1, 2005 by marmare
	Father in law and Parkinson's (Preview) There was a medical show on last night and one of the patients was a Parkinson's patient. They were going to perform surgery on him to install one of those transmitters in his brain to control the intense shaking. He was young about 47, so a good candidate for the surgery. In my fathe...	DanaAngel	2	495	Aug 1, 2005 by cdb
	"Self-Blame" (Preview) "Self-Blame" Today let's talk about self-blame. Unreasonable expectations and self-blame can really make our lives miserable. For example, how often do you hear yourself say something such as, "I left the car lights on - how could I be so stupid?" Or, "I really put my foot i...	Peggy7	2	710	Aug 1, 2005 by cdb
	please help (Preview) the last two days have been horrible. right now I am sitting here after an all out brawl with my A, he was gone all day yesterday (at family's) and all day he kept shutting his phone off in order to "control" me and my feelings. He left at 10 came back at 10 and I foolishly let him torture me instead of li...	Kim	7	707	Aug 1, 2005 by marmare
	What boundries have or are you using at this moment? (Preview) I need to hear what boundries others have used or are using. It can help me develop some sort of set of boundries I might want to use. I am not the type of person who sets boundries for my A says its a way of me controling what he can and can not do. But I am ready now to research boundries and select a few I KNO...	LLPluv	8	887	Aug 1, 2005 by marmare
	Lucy :) (Preview) Thank you so much for you kind words and compliment the other day. :) I guess I was needed where I was and now my path must change. At least you were one that noticed things that others don't. I need to use my energy to take care of me now. I do have a chronic illness and chronic depression and it is time to put th...	cdb	0	486	Aug 1, 2005 by cdb
	Question about not drinking (Preview) Well the A has been very emotional. His mood swings are really fierce and driving me crazy. One moment he is loving, the next he is clingy and depressed, the next he is angry and mean. From moment to moment I don't know what to expect. He has told me that he stopped drinking in Ap...	ditto	6	760	Aug 1, 2005 by debilyn
	It's Not About Me! (Preview) I read a book the other day by Max Lucado, "It's Not About Me". Perhaps if there comes a day that everyone realizes that our lives are not about us, we can all overcome our emotional bounds to such unhealthy relationships. I know that is what I strive for because there is NO person above God-...	sanddie	3	563	Jul 31, 2005 by sanddie
	Portland bound!! (Preview) [[ room ]] I know my destination...portland, oregon! I cannot thank you enough for being so nice to me during this hard time. Thanks to all who offered to help me through this...it is appreciated more than you know... I am leaving on the 5th and will take every chance to get online...	haximon	10	2449	Jul 31, 2005 by afglin
	FAVORITE ONE-LINERS (Preview) Dear Family, I apologize for the delay in sharing my "one-liner" list. I have a hole in my head. Copy and paste them into a file on your desktop and share them often. They are life-savers when living with a diseased loved one. (interesting how the word "diseased" resembles the word "d...	Lani	1	3888	Jul 31, 2005 by afglin
	Fearbuster Group (Preview) Greetings everyone, I am looking for people interested in joining my fearbuster group. We will meet for 12 weeks via the phone. My fearbuster groups are based on the principles of the book Fearless Living: Live Without Excuses and Love Without Regret by Rhonda Britten. Fearles...	starlight	0	455	Jul 31, 2005 by starlight
	I Am Afraid (Preview) I am at a loss to see how there can be anything substantive between us. He completely bamboozled me for years. I am not ready to put myself in that position again. Maybe I never will be. It wasn’t easy for me to surrender myself to a man, to love. And now – it may be impossible. I may not have enough life le...	dove	6	674	Jul 31, 2005 by kathy570
	working my own program (Preview) Guess it really ticks some people off to see others doing well. I don't care. I will do what i need to do for me. For that is what Al anon is about. I will seek MY HP. I will submitt to my HP. I know i can't be anyone else's HP. I know that HP will show people what th...	hvnly1	4	694	Jul 31, 2005 by hvnly1
	Update on daughter (Preview) Hello everyone, Thanks again for your unconditional support. My daughter stopped by today. She made herself something to eat and enjoyed time with her kitten. I was still feeling quite numb and know that I already said all the things I wanted to say to her this past week. Repeating&nb...	cdb	6	688	Jul 31, 2005 by hvnly1
	Lord's Prayer with a Twist! (Preview) Our father Who Art In Heaven. Yes? Don't interrupt me. I'm praying. But -- you called ME! Called you? No, I didn't call you. I'm praying. Our Father who art in Heaven. There -- you did it again! Did what? Called ME. You said, "Our Father who art in Heaven" Well, here I am. What's on your mind? But I d...	Peggy7	2	594	Jul 31, 2005 by kitty
	He called (Preview) Okay so I started freaking myself out about money, this is the day I write the check for the mortgage, he usually deposits his check around 4:30 or 5, I called the automated line and there was no deposit. The "what if game" started playing in my head.....deep breaths, let go let God....t...	marmare	3	549	Jul 31, 2005 by Dolphin123
	I hate this.... (Preview) When he didn't come home last night, I figured he would call me when he got off work. I called his voice mail and had left him a message to let me know what is going on. I tried to call his phone, he won't answer it. I hate feeling unwanted.....it is lonely and empty.....	marmare	5	625	Jul 31, 2005 by Dolphin123
	looking for insight (Preview) Hi everyone, I will start by saying that I know I need to focus on myself. I'm trying-going to meeting tomorrrow evening. My second. As I write this I am staring at a picture of myself and my husband hugging--we were happy. His drinking was getting progressively worse--he knew and...	mom to 2	11	612	Jul 30, 2005 by megan
	straight forward for them (Preview) The A is already self-involved - it (the program) seems pretty straight forward for them. For me, the struggle to keep focus on myself is really difficult, since we disassociate so much from ourselves - always concerned with how, when or why the A is doing. I thnk God for this board, the last 5 d...	kitty	4	566	Jul 30, 2005 by dove
	Why do I give him this power over me?? (Preview) I have not seen my alcoholic ex husband in over two years (except for once in court) and yet I am still terrified of him. My step daughters birthday was today and she now lives in another state with him. I bought her a card and let her little brother sign his name to it. As I signed mine, I...	Mandi	3	666	Jul 30, 2005 by browneyes
	I am so messed up (Preview) I think there is seriously something wrong with me. I am 36 years old and last month I tried to go out with someone who is 23. I met him last summer and again I saw him at the grocery store last month and gave him my phone number.. I didn't know he was that young. But anyway...	browneyes	7	718	Jul 30, 2005 by browneyes
	First time asking for help (Preview) I have been married for 14 years to a wonderful man. He has one flaw he has addiction issues. First it was his drinking it moved to smoking pot then occasionally he does a line or two. You could never tell by his behavior hes so good to everyone. He has always provided well for myself and the children. Hes lo...	LLPluv	25	875	Jul 30, 2005 by lildee
	Homeless on the 5th (Preview) I have just found out I will be evicted from my apartment on the 5th as I have no money left. I will be moving to parts unknown as yet...I'm a free agent. If anyone has connections to get me to a safer start where you are, please post! Thank you [[[ room ]]] haximon	haximon	11	1436	Jul 30, 2005 by lildee
	Lesson Learned? (Preview) Wow, Last week my x-A, father to our kids, (and who knows how may more...) suffered a stroke, heart attack and a drug overdose with alcohol adding to that. He was found fully clothed in, a tub full of water, partially submerged, in the rooming house he lives in. Claimi...	mamasan	3	630	Jul 30, 2005 by mamasan
	I am feeling crazy here. Help! (Preview) Hi everybody.. I turned 50 this year and my life has taken and interesting turn.. I have set boundries with my family, friends and stepdaughter. My husband is beginning to think I have a problem but I have been in therapy over this. The dr. said I am cleaning house. ...	Maggie1	5	693	Jul 29, 2005 by Maggie1
	today's better (Preview) So I was happier today but i didn't want to work & finish my project, I wanted to hang w/ mom. The A is being so irritating, the last few days he is just not leaving my mother alone. I cannot believe he wants to poke her fire ~ just leave her alone! Can't he see she needs space? Doesn't he real...	kitty	1	517	Jul 29, 2005 by dove
	meeting up in the real world (Preview) Hello friends I am going on tour for the next few months. August I will be in Saranac lake NY to visit my sister August I will be in Houston to visit my other sister. September I will be in Canada (1 hour west of Calgary) September – Jackson Hole, WY September – North Carolina 1 hour fr...	megan	9	706	Jul 29, 2005 by megan
	How do you deal with the lies? (Preview) I don't know why he can't tell the truth about anything. But, he doesn't. And I have stopped believing anything he says. I never know what is fact and what is made up. How does anyone live with that kind of shifting reality? How do you deal with it?	ditto	8	697	Jul 29, 2005 by twinmom2
	Life with "Sybil" (Preview) First thank you Louise for the wonderful except. I put in on my desk at work and will place it in my daily meditation book!!!!! I feel that I am living with Sybil....My A called me on his way home to tell me was going to stop and play 9 holes of golf. We have pizza on Thursdays, so I asked if I sho...	marmare	3	1205	Jul 29, 2005 by kitty
	A hot day at Eden for you (Preview) Well around here, the Great Pyrenees, Sauveur wakes us all up when the sun comes up. But this morning it was 4:00, still dark. Since I could not go back to sleep, I decided to fix my glasses. The darn arm kept falling off, along with the lens popping out, was a bit of a hassle. It is pretty much a drag to ha...	debilyn	7	707	Jul 29, 2005 by Belongtome
	This is the worst it has ever been... (Preview) Good Morning... This is the worst it has ever been. I went home last night, my A was bar-b-queing.....he said I looked great in my shorts, kind of hugged me and kissed the top of my head....we ate dinner, I didn't say too much. Still reeling somewhat from the last two weeks. I don't...	marmare	9	958	Jul 29, 2005 by kathy570
	Update on jrtjosey's son (Preview) Hello friends, Josey recently replied to my post asking for prayers for her son way down below or on the next page now. I am not sure why she didn't start a new post since he doesn't sound very well :( I am sure more prayers are needed at this time. Please go and see what she posted. Hopefully she wil...	cdb	3	550	Jul 29, 2005 by kathy570
	Would like to slap him (Preview) I went to my first face-2-face al-anon meeting today. It only lasted about 1.5 hours and it took all of 15 minutes to arrive home. When I got home there was the A accusing me of ruining our marriage by seeking outside "therapy" and that he should be the one I "turn to" and that he is going to sol...	ditto	8	953	Jul 29, 2005 by Belongtome
	Winning Today (Preview) Somedays are just great. I told my A last night I was wrong to question why she did not want to go her meetings. It made me feel great. I know my HP has plans for me and my A. I am back on track in making me happy. Sometimes it is tough realize that maybe your spouse isn't suppose to be...	tullemars	4	662	Jul 29, 2005 by gamayrouge
	grasping to the serenety prayer (Preview) I have a bad feeling today will be a struggle from moment to moment. Detachment will probably be the most difficult thing for me to actualize. For 20 yrs I felt like there was something wrong with me, like I was always letting my parents down. I couldn't really find peace of mind, joy...	kitty	5	962	Jul 28, 2005 by kitty
	Where are YOU HP??? (Preview) Is this a bad dream or a nightmare? This must be a nightmare! I can hardly stand this anymore. Not only is my daughter paranoid and drunk right now and was violent again, but there is someone else is in the room with more problems than my daughter? I feel guilty posting. My daughter doesn't have kid...	cdb	25	1141	Jul 28, 2005 by sanddie
	Prayers for jrtjoseys's son please (Preview) Hello all, jrtjosey called me tonite and asked me to ask you for prayers for one of her twin boys. She is on vacation at her mother's house and her son came down with severe lower quadrant pain, high fever and a high white count. So far they ruled appendicitis out. She has a bed next t...	cdb	4	987	Jul 28, 2005 by jrtjosey
	Son in Iraq (Preview) I have been in the program for quite a while. I have an only child, son, leaving for Iraq in a couple weeks. He's in the Air Force. I am looking for 12 step experience in how your handled it. Help !!! Cindy	Cindyb	6	1188	Jul 28, 2005 by nmike
	relapse (Preview) Hello. this is my first time posting here, and honestly I don't know where to start. I have been married to my A for 3 years and with him for 5. He has been in and out of recovery for the last three (for drugs and alcohol)and I just recently found out that he relapsed and has been smokin...	Kim	6	816	Jul 28, 2005 by Kim
	so disappointed... (Preview) Last night I accidentally stumbled across a little brown bag. (the kind the liquor stores use) I glanced around for the empty bottle and found none so i looked out on t he patio in the gutter and found 3 empty bottles. (there may be more) I was really disappointed. I could not even get to slee...	afglin	13	726	Jul 28, 2005 by mamasan
	Me and the Rat (Preview) I got an email from "B" on 7/15/2005. He gave documented proof of a "romantic" liasion between his wife and my husband -- my A. It was incredibly, painfully, infuriatingly difficult to deal with the information in the email. Text messages "A" wrote to her include "Y...	dove	4	936	Jul 28, 2005 by kathy570
	IT HURTS TO SAY NO (Preview) I need to vent, talk it out, stop hurting, ect. I told my A that he could not come home as I don't want to live the way I was living and that it was best for me. He was not happy with me to say the least. Remember nothing has changed, except the fact that I am not the same person that kept takin...	Carol	6	795	Jul 28, 2005 by jo4
	Detach with love. (Preview) Hello all, I hope all of you are thinking about yourself and not your A. Not like me who still falls in love again and again. I try to keep my emotions at a healthy level but sometimes I start to love too much. Then I get dissapointed. She is in recovery now and I see signs that she might not be makin...	tullemars	6	672	Jul 28, 2005 by cdb
	thank you 4 your thoughts to UK Josh (Preview) Hi all, Josh's family wants to thank everyone for their dreams / thoughts / to Josh. He is coming right along in his recovery. Josh TBI-s some months back and with everyone's thought, he is coming right around. Thank you again, and my thoughts n prayers n hopes to you as well. Oceans...	wille	1	612	Jul 28, 2005 by cdb
	I use to (Preview) I use to dread the quiet times, when my A is not being so crazy. I use to wait for the other shoe to drop. What crisis is next? After the drama filled weekend, the hurt, the disapointment, the doubting of the HP plans, I found that last night and today are quiet days. The di...	marmare	3	594	Jul 28, 2005 by browneyes
	Fear/Paranoia (Preview) Hi, I am new to this board but I could use some insight to my reaction. I am currently dating a Recovering A who has been sober for a year, he is very active in AA, working the steps, spending time with his sponsor, etc. Friday he started getting sick throwing up, weak, blury vision-despite bei...	beachbaby	6	639	Jul 28, 2005 by lin0606
	My Family (Preview) Hi all, I appreciate your posts. I learn so much. Well, my husband has been gone for 2 months. At times we can barely be civil on the phone. I can't figure out why he is so angry at me when he's the one that moved out! We are going to see our son in the military this weekend. He will be going overseas i...	nmike	3	841	Jul 28, 2005 by ditto
	success stories with treamtent centers (Preview) My A (husband) is starting his first night of outpatient treatment tonight and I would just like to hear some success stories or failure stories. Not sure what to expect from all of this.... He had an assessment today (that I went to with him, he asked me to go) and the lady said he definitel...	Siverhusk	5	748	Jul 28, 2005 by afglin
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.