Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

mom to 2 · mom to 2

Hi everyone, I will start by saying that I know I need to focus on myself. I'm trying-going to meeting tomorrrow evening. My second. As I write this I am staring at a picture of myself and my husband hugging--we were happy. His drinking was getting progressively worse--he knew and...

kitty · kitty

The A is already self-involved - it (the program) seems pretty straight forward for them. For me, the struggle to keep focus on myself is really difficult, since we disassociate so much from ourselves - always concerned with how, when or why the A is doing. I thnk God for this board, the last 5 d...

Mandi · Mandi

I have not seen my alcoholic ex husband in over two years (except for once in court) and yet I am still terrified of him. My step daughters birthday was today and she now lives in another state with him. I bought her a card and let her little brother sign his name to it. As I signed mine, I...

browneyes · browneyes

I think there is seriously something wrong with me. I am 36 years old and last month I tried to go out with someone who is 23. I met him last summer and again I saw him at the grocery store last month and gave him my phone number.. I didn't know he was that young. But anyway...

LLPluv · LLPluv

I have been married for 14 years to a wonderful man. He has one flaw he has addiction issues. First it was his drinking it moved to smoking pot then occasionally he does a line or two. You could never tell by his behavior hes so good to everyone. He has always provided well for myself and the children. Hes lo...

haximon · haximon

I have just found out I will be evicted from my apartment on the 5th as I have no money left. I will be moving to parts unknown as yet...I'm a free agent. If anyone has connections to get me to a safer start where you are, please post! Thank you [[[ room ]]] haximon

mamasan · mamasan

Wow, Last week my x-A, father to our kids, (and who knows how may more...) suffered a stroke, heart attack and a drug overdose with alcohol adding to that. He was found fully clothed in, a tub full of water, partially submerged, in the rooming house he lives in. Claimi...

Maggie1 · Maggie1

Hi everybody.. I turned 50 this year and my life has taken and interesting turn.. I have set boundries with my family, friends and stepdaughter. My husband is beginning to think I have a problem but I have been in therapy over this. The dr. said I am cleaning house. ...

kitty · kitty

So I was happier today but i didn't want to work & finish my project, I wanted to hang w/ mom. The A is being so irritating, the last few days he is just not leaving my mother alone. I cannot believe he wants to poke her fire ~ just leave her alone! Can't he see she needs space? Doesn't he real...

megan · megan

Hello friends I am going on tour for the next few months. August I will be in Saranac lake NY to visit my sister August I will be in Houston to visit my other sister. September I will be in Canada (1 hour west of Calgary) September – Jackson Hole, WY September – North Carolina 1 hour fr...

ditto · ditto

I don't know why he can't tell the truth about anything. But, he doesn't. And I have stopped believing anything he says. I never know what is fact and what is made up. How does anyone live with that kind of shifting reality? How do you deal with it?

marmare · marmare

First thank you Louise for the wonderful except. I put in on my desk at work and will place it in my daily meditation book!!!!! I feel that I am living with Sybil....My A called me on his way home to tell me was going to stop and play 9 holes of golf. We have pizza on Thursdays, so I asked if I sho...

debilyn · debilyn

Well around here, the Great Pyrenees, Sauveur wakes us all up when the sun comes up. But this morning it was 4:00, still dark. Since I could not go back to sleep, I decided to fix my glasses. The darn arm kept falling off, along with the lens popping out, was a bit of a hassle. It is pretty much a drag to ha...

marmare · marmare

Good Morning... This is the worst it has ever been. I went home last night, my A was bar-b-queing.....he said I looked great in my shorts, kind of hugged me and kissed the top of my head....we ate dinner, I didn't say too much. Still reeling somewhat from the last two weeks. I don't...

cdb · cdb

Hello friends, Josey recently replied to my post asking for prayers for her son way down below or on the next page now. I am not sure why she didn't start a new post since he doesn't sound very well :( I am sure more prayers are needed at this time. Please go and see what she posted. Hopefully she wil...

ditto · ditto

I went to my first face-2-face al-anon meeting today. It only lasted about 1.5 hours and it took all of 15 minutes to arrive home. When I got home there was the A accusing me of ruining our marriage by seeking outside "therapy" and that he should be the one I "turn to" and that he is going to sol...

tullemars · tullemars

Somedays are just great.

I told my A last night I was wrong to question why she did not want to go her meetings. It made me feel great. I know my HP has plans for me and my A. I am back on track in making me happy. Sometimes it is tough realize that maybe your spouse isn't suppose to be...

kitty · kitty

I have a bad feeling today will be a struggle from moment to moment. Detachment will probably be the most difficult thing for me to actualize. For 20 yrs I felt like there was something wrong with me, like I was always letting my parents down. I couldn't really find peace of mind, joy...

cdb · cdb

Is this a bad dream or a nightmare? This must be a nightmare! I can hardly stand this anymore. Not only is my daughter paranoid and drunk right now and was violent again, but there is someone else is in the room with more problems than my daughter? I feel guilty posting. My daughter doesn't have kid...

cdb · cdb

Hello all, jrtjosey called me tonite and asked me to ask you for prayers for one of her twin boys. She is on vacation at her mother's house and her son came down with severe lower quadrant pain, high fever and a high white count. So far they ruled appendicitis out. She has a bed next t...

Cindyb · Cindyb

I have been in the program for quite a while. I have an only child, son, leaving for Iraq in a couple weeks. He's in the Air Force. I am looking for 12 step experience in how your handled it. Help !!! Cindy

Kim · Kim

Hello. this is my first time posting here, and honestly I don't know where to start. I have been married to my A for 3 years and with him for 5. He has been in and out of recovery for the last three (for drugs and alcohol)and I just recently found out that he relapsed and has been smokin...

afglin · afglin

Last night I accidentally stumbled across a little brown bag. (the kind the liquor stores use) I glanced around for the empty bottle and found none so i looked out on t he patio in the gutter and found 3 empty bottles. (there may be more) I was really disappointed. I could not even get to slee...

dove · dove

I got an email from "B" on 7/15/2005. He gave documented proof of a "romantic" liasion between his wife and my husband -- my A. It was incredibly, painfully, infuriatingly difficult to deal with the information in the email. Text messages "A" wrote to her include "Y...

Carol · Carol

I need to vent, talk it out, stop hurting, ect. I told my A that he could not come home as I don't want to live the way I was living and that it was best for me. He was not happy with me to say the least. Remember nothing has changed, except the fact that I am not the same person that kept takin...

tullemars · tullemars

Hello all, I hope all of you are thinking about yourself and not your A. Not like me who still falls in love again and again. I try to keep my emotions at a healthy level but sometimes I start to love too much. Then I get dissapointed. She is in recovery now and I see signs that she might not be makin...

wille · wille

Hi all, Josh's family wants to thank everyone for their dreams / thoughts / to Josh. He is coming right along in his recovery. Josh TBI-s some months back and with everyone's thought, he is coming right around. Thank you again, and my thoughts n prayers n hopes to you as well. Oceans...

marmare · marmare

I use to dread the quiet times, when my A is not being so crazy. I use to wait for the other shoe to drop. What crisis is next? After the drama filled weekend, the hurt, the disapointment, the doubting of the HP plans, I found that last night and today are quiet days. The di...

beachbaby · beachbaby

Hi, I am new to this board but I could use some insight to my reaction. I am currently dating a Recovering A who has been sober for a year, he is very active in AA, working the steps, spending time with his sponsor, etc. Friday he started getting sick throwing up, weak, blury vision-despite bei...

nmike · nmike

Hi all, I appreciate your posts. I learn so much. Well, my husband has been gone for 2 months. At times we can barely be civil on the phone. I can't figure out why he is so angry at me when he's the one that moved out! We are going to see our son in the military this weekend. He will be going overseas i...

Siverhusk · Siverhusk

My A (husband) is starting his first night of outpatient treatment tonight and I would just like to hear some success stories or failure stories. Not sure what to expect from all of this.... He had an assessment today (that I went to with him, he asked me to go) and the lady said he definitel...

megan · megan

I received on Monday the draft of my pleading. This, in NJ is what a divorce action is called. My brother an expat lawyer says this is from the days of pleading your case before the king. It is strange to see my dirty laundry all fancied up by the lawyer. It is strange to think that I live...

Jeannie · Jeannie

Hi everyone, I hope you are all well. This is something I wanted to share with you all. There is an older lady at work, I always knew she was a pip, always smiling, joking, and makes everyone feel good just being around her. She has an incredible smile and bright red hair. I never knew how old s...

lebe27 · lebe27

My A got out of detox couple of weeks ago now. Has been attending 4 day/week, 4 hour/day group therapy sessions. And he is just miserable. Angry at the world. He is suppose to start individual counselling Aug 15th but don't think he will make it until then. So many issu...

holly123 · holly123

Thanks everyone for your replies to my previous post. Last night I spoke with my a and I'm not sure if he got that I was serious or not but I meant every word I said, of course part of me wanted him to fall on his knees and beg for forgiveness but it didn't matter that he didn't I said what I wanted and went to be...

Siverhusk · Siverhusk

Well I am extremely frustrated right now and it's even harder to deal because I'm at work. My husband was suppose to go at 4:00 today for an alcohol assessment and what does he do?? You got it, get's wasted instead. Got a phone call from my son about an hour ago said that he was extremel...

kitty · kitty

I am grateful reading the posts & responses today, it really helps a lot to share. All of us have experienced similiar things, in one way or another w/ the "A" in our lives. It runs in my family & many of my friends & b/f's have been addicts as well. I'm nearly 40 & I am reali...

kitty · kitty

I am absolutely devastated. My mother & step father have been married 25 years. I thought they had the perfect relationship although he does drink. Last week my mother told me he's been cheating for 20 years. So all of this time when I felt like I wasn't successful eno...

TLC2 · TLC2

I was away and haven't had time to catch up on the shares, but haven't seen your name on the board since the duct tape. Are you ok hon? Guess the duct tape didn't get there on time, huh? I've been praying that he didn't hurt you, we all love you very much!! Please let us know how you made out, k? Love, TLC

Carol · Carol

I am having trouble with myself. I have been divorced from my A for 2 1/2 years now but we have continued to live together on and off for that time. He goes in and out of the program and does well for awhile then WHAM same ole thing. For the past I say 6 months I would say his mood swings have...

holly123 · holly123

I am really confused right now, my a doesn't really help out very much around the house or with the kids, granted they are 9 and 6 but they still need love and attention and I can't always be the one to know their schedules and keep up with them. Anyway thats not the real confusing part, the worst pa...

ditto · ditto

Hi, I was widowed at a very young age 5 years ago and am now recently remarried. I'm not sure if my current husband is abusing alcohol or is alcoholic. Whatever he is doing, it is hurting our marriage. He has "given up" drinking for "me". But he holds that over my head and thre...

TLC2 · TLC2

Thank You HP!!! For being so good to Debilyn!!!! Sorry about the last post, couldn't find you. I don't always get on here as long as I'd like. Now I will go to sleep with a smile on my face thinking of Debilyn and her love, Love TLC

browneyes · browneyes

Hey It's been a couple of days since I've been here. I don't know why but, For the past couple of days I've been really depressed and just have no feeling for my husband. He has been clean for about five days or something and in general he thinks our relationship should be all better now.&n...

gamayrouge · gamayrouge

I am the wife of an A. He has stopped drinking and was going to AA and counseling. Then he stopped making the meetings and now he has stopped counseling. The counselor (according to husband) said he didn't need to come any more. My trouble is that his solution is to not get together with our friends anymor...

melanieL · melanieL

My ex-A said that all my answers lie within the Big Book. I told him it is a different programme. I have read the Big Book several times, do I have to study it ? It really relates to AA's , i know we have the ism's but we are not alcoholics, i sort of felt that our programme was a bit like a reverse of...

kathy570 · kathy570

Mod. July 25 Hello All, I am having such a hard time keeping my mouth shut this week, I like Debilyn's idea of ducktape but notre would hold. My husband has been on a major bender this week as he may lose his job, house, car, etc. He comes home everynight loaded, falling all over the pla...

marmare · marmare

My A finally called at 2pm Saturday afternoon. He started with "I was wrong and I know you do not accept my apology because it is connected to alcohol and drugs, but I am sorry." I listened but didn't say anything, I thought as he talked that a year ago I would either be screaming or crying, bu...

marmare · marmare

Last night was complete disaster.....there for a moment was a glimmer of hope, my A now says that the counseling comment was a lie. He won't go and wants a divorce. He refuses to open "pandoras" box. I must have cried for 2 hours. I am so hurt. He said awful awful things t...

wallsal55 · wallsal55

check out these websties Merry Go Round Denial www.bendfeldt.org/alcholism.htm note spelling. For the progression of the disease of alcoholism do a search at www.altavista.com and type in: Jellinek Chart. Lots of re...

debilyn · debilyn

LOL you guys were so wonderful with your comments!!! I learned from you and I did not feel so alone. Also learned I am not the only one who gets that drive to go look at him. Well I got there in the am one or so. At first neither of us said a word. He said i cut him out of my life. I told him he chose that. ...

wallsal55 · wallsal55

Practicing detachment for three or four weeks helped me at least grasp the concept of detaching. It is helpful to learn about it at Alanon meetings and pick up the pamplet on detachment there, as well as the newcomer packet. For further supplemental reading: ...

bob_ia · bob_ia

Ive chatted with many of you over the past month or so. Thank you for offering this forum and chat to vent feelings and fears and yes joy when it comes. My request today and i will hope if i may would be to request prayers for my friend Lori. Lori is a wondeful person she a joy to be with. Even the hard times...

Kolar123 · Kolar123

Just thought i wold say hi new to this part of the web site been on the chat I am feeling really depressed tonight and just need to vent. Chat room is full so any way. No I do not know why i am depressed just am Bi- Polar I belive is hitting me hard just not doing well with it . Al...

Siverhusk · Siverhusk

How do you deal with having to repeat everything to your A about 10 times?? It just drives me nuts sometimes. I used to just get furious about it and finally say I'm not going to repeat myself anymore but that doesn't do any good. While he's drunk he will ask me the same question over an...

socaltom · socaltom

I just learned last Friday, a day before my 57th birthday, that my 21 year old daughter was an alcoholic and a self-medicating drug user. At first, I thought "well, this'll be the crummiest birthday I ever had in my life." But now I realize my daughter gave me the greatest gift I ever could have -- she came...

wallsal55 · wallsal55

If you live in town or are in town, do not leave your cars unlocked or your windows down! When you come back, there will be zuccinni on your seat!

Belongtome · Belongtome

Happy Monday everyone...it was a heck of a weekend around here. Fri, I had worked from 7:30 am, and got home at 10 pm, after my A had ended his workday at 1:30 pm and played 18 holes of golf. Sat, I was on my way to help him at work, and said I needed to stop for two errands. He said to skip one errand ti...

judy · judy

I have been in al-anon for a while now. Still trying to work the fourth step. My spouse is the adult child of an alcoholic. His drug of choice is pot. Most of the time I can use the program to deal with the highs and lows that come with our relationship. I am finding it almost imposs...

debilyn · debilyn

Someone tape me to my chair!!!! I am doing my best to talk myself out of going to see the A. I have not seen him for many weeks. I don't even know what makes me want to see him. Well yes I do. I am so lonely for him. It is so hard to love someone since you were ' a kid, and share life with him all your life, t...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	looking for insight (Preview) Hi everyone, I will start by saying that I know I need to focus on myself. I'm trying-going to meeting tomorrrow evening. My second. As I write this I am staring at a picture of myself and my husband hugging--we were happy. His drinking was getting progressively worse--he knew and...	mom to 2	11	554	Jul 30, 2005 by megan
	straight forward for them (Preview) The A is already self-involved - it (the program) seems pretty straight forward for them. For me, the struggle to keep focus on myself is really difficult, since we disassociate so much from ourselves - always concerned with how, when or why the A is doing. I thnk God for this board, the last 5 d...	kitty	4	517	Jul 30, 2005 by dove
	Why do I give him this power over me?? (Preview) I have not seen my alcoholic ex husband in over two years (except for once in court) and yet I am still terrified of him. My step daughters birthday was today and she now lives in another state with him. I bought her a card and let her little brother sign his name to it. As I signed mine, I...	Mandi	3	609	Jul 30, 2005 by browneyes
	I am so messed up (Preview) I think there is seriously something wrong with me. I am 36 years old and last month I tried to go out with someone who is 23. I met him last summer and again I saw him at the grocery store last month and gave him my phone number.. I didn't know he was that young. But anyway...	browneyes	7	650	Jul 30, 2005 by browneyes
	First time asking for help (Preview) I have been married for 14 years to a wonderful man. He has one flaw he has addiction issues. First it was his drinking it moved to smoking pot then occasionally he does a line or two. You could never tell by his behavior hes so good to everyone. He has always provided well for myself and the children. Hes lo...	LLPluv	25	799	Jul 30, 2005 by lildee
	Homeless on the 5th (Preview) I have just found out I will be evicted from my apartment on the 5th as I have no money left. I will be moving to parts unknown as yet...I'm a free agent. If anyone has connections to get me to a safer start where you are, please post! Thank you [[[ room ]]] haximon	haximon	11	1321	Jul 30, 2005 by lildee
	Lesson Learned? (Preview) Wow, Last week my x-A, father to our kids, (and who knows how may more...) suffered a stroke, heart attack and a drug overdose with alcohol adding to that. He was found fully clothed in, a tub full of water, partially submerged, in the rooming house he lives in. Claimi...	mamasan	3	537	Jul 30, 2005 by mamasan
	I am feeling crazy here. Help! (Preview) Hi everybody.. I turned 50 this year and my life has taken and interesting turn.. I have set boundries with my family, friends and stepdaughter. My husband is beginning to think I have a problem but I have been in therapy over this. The dr. said I am cleaning house. ...	Maggie1	5	622	Jul 29, 2005 by Maggie1
	today's better (Preview) So I was happier today but i didn't want to work & finish my project, I wanted to hang w/ mom. The A is being so irritating, the last few days he is just not leaving my mother alone. I cannot believe he wants to poke her fire ~ just leave her alone! Can't he see she needs space? Doesn't he real...	kitty	1	469	Jul 29, 2005 by dove
	meeting up in the real world (Preview) Hello friends I am going on tour for the next few months. August I will be in Saranac lake NY to visit my sister August I will be in Houston to visit my other sister. September I will be in Canada (1 hour west of Calgary) September – Jackson Hole, WY September – North Carolina 1 hour fr...	megan	9	655	Jul 29, 2005 by megan
	How do you deal with the lies? (Preview) I don't know why he can't tell the truth about anything. But, he doesn't. And I have stopped believing anything he says. I never know what is fact and what is made up. How does anyone live with that kind of shifting reality? How do you deal with it?	ditto	8	634	Jul 29, 2005 by twinmom2
	Life with "Sybil" (Preview) First thank you Louise for the wonderful except. I put in on my desk at work and will place it in my daily meditation book!!!!! I feel that I am living with Sybil....My A called me on his way home to tell me was going to stop and play 9 holes of golf. We have pizza on Thursdays, so I asked if I sho...	marmare	3	1128	Jul 29, 2005 by kitty
	A hot day at Eden for you (Preview) Well around here, the Great Pyrenees, Sauveur wakes us all up when the sun comes up. But this morning it was 4:00, still dark. Since I could not go back to sleep, I decided to fix my glasses. The darn arm kept falling off, along with the lens popping out, was a bit of a hassle. It is pretty much a drag to ha...	debilyn	7	631	Jul 29, 2005 by Belongtome
	This is the worst it has ever been... (Preview) Good Morning... This is the worst it has ever been. I went home last night, my A was bar-b-queing.....he said I looked great in my shorts, kind of hugged me and kissed the top of my head....we ate dinner, I didn't say too much. Still reeling somewhat from the last two weeks. I don't...	marmare	9	891	Jul 29, 2005 by kathy570
	Update on jrtjosey's son (Preview) Hello friends, Josey recently replied to my post asking for prayers for her son way down below or on the next page now. I am not sure why she didn't start a new post since he doesn't sound very well :( I am sure more prayers are needed at this time. Please go and see what she posted. Hopefully she wil...	cdb	3	508	Jul 29, 2005 by kathy570
	Would like to slap him (Preview) I went to my first face-2-face al-anon meeting today. It only lasted about 1.5 hours and it took all of 15 minutes to arrive home. When I got home there was the A accusing me of ruining our marriage by seeking outside "therapy" and that he should be the one I "turn to" and that he is going to sol...	ditto	8	898	Jul 29, 2005 by Belongtome
	Winning Today (Preview) Somedays are just great. I told my A last night I was wrong to question why she did not want to go her meetings. It made me feel great. I know my HP has plans for me and my A. I am back on track in making me happy. Sometimes it is tough realize that maybe your spouse isn't suppose to be...	tullemars	4	588	Jul 29, 2005 by gamayrouge
	grasping to the serenety prayer (Preview) I have a bad feeling today will be a struggle from moment to moment. Detachment will probably be the most difficult thing for me to actualize. For 20 yrs I felt like there was something wrong with me, like I was always letting my parents down. I couldn't really find peace of mind, joy...	kitty	5	856	Jul 28, 2005 by kitty
	Where are YOU HP??? (Preview) Is this a bad dream or a nightmare? This must be a nightmare! I can hardly stand this anymore. Not only is my daughter paranoid and drunk right now and was violent again, but there is someone else is in the room with more problems than my daughter? I feel guilty posting. My daughter doesn't have kid...	cdb	25	1062	Jul 28, 2005 by sanddie
	Prayers for jrtjoseys's son please (Preview) Hello all, jrtjosey called me tonite and asked me to ask you for prayers for one of her twin boys. She is on vacation at her mother's house and her son came down with severe lower quadrant pain, high fever and a high white count. So far they ruled appendicitis out. She has a bed next t...	cdb	4	933	Jul 28, 2005 by jrtjosey
	Son in Iraq (Preview) I have been in the program for quite a while. I have an only child, son, leaving for Iraq in a couple weeks. He's in the Air Force. I am looking for 12 step experience in how your handled it. Help !!! Cindy	Cindyb	6	1076	Jul 28, 2005 by nmike
	relapse (Preview) Hello. this is my first time posting here, and honestly I don't know where to start. I have been married to my A for 3 years and with him for 5. He has been in and out of recovery for the last three (for drugs and alcohol)and I just recently found out that he relapsed and has been smokin...	Kim	6	712	Jul 28, 2005 by Kim
	so disappointed... (Preview) Last night I accidentally stumbled across a little brown bag. (the kind the liquor stores use) I glanced around for the empty bottle and found none so i looked out on t he patio in the gutter and found 3 empty bottles. (there may be more) I was really disappointed. I could not even get to slee...	afglin	13	652	Jul 28, 2005 by mamasan
	Me and the Rat (Preview) I got an email from "B" on 7/15/2005. He gave documented proof of a "romantic" liasion between his wife and my husband -- my A. It was incredibly, painfully, infuriatingly difficult to deal with the information in the email. Text messages "A" wrote to her include "Y...	dove	4	875	Jul 28, 2005 by kathy570
	IT HURTS TO SAY NO (Preview) I need to vent, talk it out, stop hurting, ect. I told my A that he could not come home as I don't want to live the way I was living and that it was best for me. He was not happy with me to say the least. Remember nothing has changed, except the fact that I am not the same person that kept takin...	Carol	6	686	Jul 28, 2005 by jo4
	Detach with love. (Preview) Hello all, I hope all of you are thinking about yourself and not your A. Not like me who still falls in love again and again. I try to keep my emotions at a healthy level but sometimes I start to love too much. Then I get dissapointed. She is in recovery now and I see signs that she might not be makin...	tullemars	6	591	Jul 28, 2005 by cdb
	thank you 4 your thoughts to UK Josh (Preview) Hi all, Josh's family wants to thank everyone for their dreams / thoughts / to Josh. He is coming right along in his recovery. Josh TBI-s some months back and with everyone's thought, he is coming right around. Thank you again, and my thoughts n prayers n hopes to you as well. Oceans...	wille	1	561	Jul 28, 2005 by cdb
	I use to (Preview) I use to dread the quiet times, when my A is not being so crazy. I use to wait for the other shoe to drop. What crisis is next? After the drama filled weekend, the hurt, the disapointment, the doubting of the HP plans, I found that last night and today are quiet days. The di...	marmare	3	495	Jul 28, 2005 by browneyes
	Fear/Paranoia (Preview) Hi, I am new to this board but I could use some insight to my reaction. I am currently dating a Recovering A who has been sober for a year, he is very active in AA, working the steps, spending time with his sponsor, etc. Friday he started getting sick throwing up, weak, blury vision-despite bei...	beachbaby	6	546	Jul 28, 2005 by lin0606
	My Family (Preview) Hi all, I appreciate your posts. I learn so much. Well, my husband has been gone for 2 months. At times we can barely be civil on the phone. I can't figure out why he is so angry at me when he's the one that moved out! We are going to see our son in the military this weekend. He will be going overseas i...	nmike	3	752	Jul 28, 2005 by ditto
	success stories with treamtent centers (Preview) My A (husband) is starting his first night of outpatient treatment tonight and I would just like to hear some success stories or failure stories. Not sure what to expect from all of this.... He had an assessment today (that I went to with him, he asked me to go) and the lady said he definitel...	Siverhusk	5	671	Jul 28, 2005 by afglin
	Acceptance and my Pleading (Preview) I received on Monday the draft of my pleading. This, in NJ is what a divorce action is called. My brother an expat lawyer says this is from the days of pleading your case before the king. It is strange to see my dirty laundry all fancied up by the lawyer. It is strange to think that I live...	megan	8	928	Jul 28, 2005 by megan
	Wow! What an incredible lady. (Preview) Hi everyone, I hope you are all well. This is something I wanted to share with you all. There is an older lady at work, I always knew she was a pip, always smiling, joking, and makes everyone feel good just being around her. She has an incredible smile and bright red hair. I never knew how old s...	Jeannie	5	594	Jul 28, 2005 by cdb
	A in misery (Preview) My A got out of detox couple of weeks ago now. Has been attending 4 day/week, 4 hour/day group therapy sessions. And he is just miserable. Angry at the world. He is suppose to start individual counselling Aug 15th but don't think he will make it until then. So many issu...	lebe27	9	893	Jul 28, 2005 by cdb
	feeling better today (Preview) Thanks everyone for your replies to my previous post. Last night I spoke with my a and I'm not sure if he got that I was serious or not but I meant every word I said, of course part of me wanted him to fall on his knees and beg for forgiveness but it didn't matter that he didn't I said what I wanted and went to be...	holly123	3	688	Jul 27, 2005 by nmike
	A was "suppose" to do assessment today (Preview) Well I am extremely frustrated right now and it's even harder to deal because I'm at work. My husband was suppose to go at 4:00 today for an alcohol assessment and what does he do?? You got it, get's wasted instead. Got a phone call from my son about an hour ago said that he was extremel...	Siverhusk	5	1337	Jul 27, 2005 by kathy570
	Grateful Today (Preview) I am grateful reading the posts & responses today, it really helps a lot to share. All of us have experienced similiar things, in one way or another w/ the "A" in our lives. It runs in my family & many of my friends & b/f's have been addicts as well. I'm nearly 40 & I am reali...	kitty	3	489	Jul 27, 2005 by kathy570
	Back to the program after 15 years (Preview) I am absolutely devastated. My mother & step father have been married 25 years. I thought they had the perfect relationship although he does drink. Last week my mother told me he's been cheating for 20 years. So all of this time when I felt like I wasn't successful eno...	kitty	4	854	Jul 27, 2005 by toto12
	Debilyn? (Preview) I was away and haven't had time to catch up on the shares, but haven't seen your name on the board since the duct tape. Are you ok hon? Guess the duct tape didn't get there on time, huh? I've been praying that he didn't hurt you, we all love you very much!! Please let us know how you made out, k? Love, TLC	TLC2	3	764	Jul 27, 2005 by Jeannie
	Doing the Same Thing Over and Over (Preview) I am having trouble with myself. I have been divorced from my A for 2 1/2 years now but we have continued to live together on and off for that time. He goes in and out of the program and does well for awhile then WHAM same ole thing. For the past I say 6 months I would say his mood swings have...	Carol	3	883	Jul 27, 2005 by Carol
	I am so confused and frustrated! (Preview) I am really confused right now, my a doesn't really help out very much around the house or with the kids, granted they are 9 and 6 but they still need love and attention and I can't always be the one to know their schedules and keep up with them. Anyway thats not the real confusing part, the worst pa...	holly123	4	793	Jul 26, 2005 by lin0606
	New to this (Preview) Hi, I was widowed at a very young age 5 years ago and am now recently remarried. I'm not sure if my current husband is abusing alcohol or is alcoholic. Whatever he is doing, it is hurting our marriage. He has "given up" drinking for "me". But he holds that over my head and thre...	ditto	5	690	Jul 26, 2005 by ditto
	YAHOOOOOO!!!! (Preview) Thank You HP!!! For being so good to Debilyn!!!! Sorry about the last post, couldn't find you. I don't always get on here as long as I'd like. Now I will go to sleep with a smile on my face thinking of Debilyn and her love, Love TLC	TLC2	0	538	Jul 26, 2005 by TLC2
	Basically fighting for the good life (Preview) Hey It's been a couple of days since I've been here. I don't know why but, For the past couple of days I've been really depressed and just have no feeling for my husband. He has been clean for about five days or something and in general he thinks our relationship should be all better now.&n...	browneyes	2	770	Jul 26, 2005 by lin0606
	discouraged (Preview) I am the wife of an A. He has stopped drinking and was going to AA and counseling. Then he stopped making the meetings and now he has stopped counseling. The counselor (according to husband) said he didn't need to come any more. My trouble is that his solution is to not get together with our friends anymor...	gamayrouge	5	846	Jul 26, 2005 by Christy
	THE BIG BOOK (Preview) My ex-A said that all my answers lie within the Big Book. I told him it is a different programme. I have read the Big Book several times, do I have to study it ? It really relates to AA's , i know we have the ism's but we are not alcoholics, i sort of felt that our programme was a bit like a reverse of...	melanieL	7	2003	Jul 26, 2005 by kathy570
	Ready to Scream!!!!!!!!! HELP (Preview) Mod. July 25 Hello All, I am having such a hard time keeping my mouth shut this week, I like Debilyn's idea of ducktape but notre would hold. My husband has been on a major bender this week as he may lose his job, house, car, etc. He comes home everynight loaded, falling all over the pla...	kathy570	5	617	Jul 26, 2005 by kathy570
	What do you think? (Preview) My A finally called at 2pm Saturday afternoon. He started with "I was wrong and I know you do not accept my apology because it is connected to alcohol and drugs, but I am sorry." I listened but didn't say anything, I thought as he talked that a year ago I would either be screaming or crying, bu...	marmare	6	849	Jul 26, 2005 by kathy570
	Back to Square One (Preview) Last night was complete disaster.....there for a moment was a glimmer of hope, my A now says that the counseling comment was a lie. He won't go and wants a divorce. He refuses to open "pandoras" box. I must have cried for 2 hours. I am so hurt. He said awful awful things t...	marmare	2	771	Jul 26, 2005 by isabela40
	UNDERSTANDING this Disease-sites (Preview) check out these websties Merry Go Round Denial www.bendfeldt.org/alcholism.htm note spelling. For the progression of the disease of alcoholism do a search at www.altavista.com and type in: Jellinek Chart. Lots of re...	wallsal55	1	456	Jul 26, 2005 by kathy570
	update on duct tape night..... (Preview) LOL you guys were so wonderful with your comments!!! I learned from you and I did not feel so alone. Also learned I am not the only one who gets that drive to go look at him. Well I got there in the am one or so. At first neither of us said a word. He said i cut him out of my life. I told him he chose that. ...	debilyn	4	813	Jul 26, 2005 by sg
	Detaching/Detachment (Preview) Practicing detachment for three or four weeks helped me at least grasp the concept of detaching. It is helpful to learn about it at Alanon meetings and pick up the pamplet on detachment there, as well as the newcomer packet. For further supplemental reading: ...	wallsal55	1	518	Jul 26, 2005 by sg
	Just asking for prayers (Preview) Ive chatted with many of you over the past month or so. Thank you for offering this forum and chat to vent feelings and fears and yes joy when it comes. My request today and i will hope if i may would be to request prayers for my friend Lori. Lori is a wondeful person she a joy to be with. Even the hard times...	bob_ia	5	713	Jul 26, 2005 by Mandi
	hello (Preview) Just thought i wold say hi new to this part of the web site been on the chat I am feeling really depressed tonight and just need to vent. Chat room is full so any way. No I do not know why i am depressed just am Bi- Polar I belive is hitting me hard just not doing well with it . Al...	Kolar123	5	668	Jul 25, 2005 by Kolar123
	Repeating, repeating, repeating, repeating (Preview) How do you deal with having to repeat everything to your A about 10 times?? It just drives me nuts sometimes. I used to just get furious about it and finally say I'm not going to repeat myself anymore but that doesn't do any good. While he's drunk he will ask me the same question over an...	Siverhusk	6	1036	Jul 25, 2005 by abbyal
	new & confused (sorry, long) (Preview) I just learned last Friday, a day before my 57th birthday, that my 21 year old daughter was an alcoholic and a self-medicating drug user. At first, I thought "well, this'll be the crummiest birthday I ever had in my life." But now I realize my daughter gave me the greatest gift I ever could have -- she came...	socaltom	5	989	Jul 25, 2005 by socaltom
	Joke for the Day (Preview) If you live in town or are in town, do not leave your cars unlocked or your windows down! When you come back, there will be zuccinni on your seat!	wallsal55	0	434	Jul 25, 2005 by wallsal55
	The end is closer (Preview) Happy Monday everyone...it was a heck of a weekend around here. Fri, I had worked from 7:30 am, and got home at 10 pm, after my A had ended his workday at 1:30 pm and played 18 holes of golf. Sat, I was on my way to help him at work, and said I needed to stop for two errands. He said to skip one errand ti...	Belongtome	5	810	Jul 25, 2005 by debilyn
	keeping the focus on me (Preview) I have been in al-anon for a while now. Still trying to work the fourth step. My spouse is the adult child of an alcoholic. His drug of choice is pot. Most of the time I can use the program to deal with the highs and lows that come with our relationship. I am finding it almost imposs...	judy	5	784	Jul 25, 2005 by judy
	Pass the duct tape please!!! (Preview) Someone tape me to my chair!!!! I am doing my best to talk myself out of going to see the A. I have not seen him for many weeks. I don't even know what makes me want to see him. Well yes I do. I am so lonely for him. It is so hard to love someone since you were ' a kid, and share life with him all your life, t...	debilyn	9	910	Jul 25, 2005 by melanieL
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.