Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

swolves · swolves

    ...

LLPluv · LLPluv

Ok I know I am new to all this. But I am almost so frustrated I feel like my soul will burst open. I have heard on board that if you have expectations of your A it will creat resentments. This is how I see it. I know it will be just a stage I am going through and will make it someday to understand. I fe...

Becka · Becka

I have now been separated from my A for about 5 or 6 weeks. I can actually see the difference in him for he is getting better. But I am not. I still feel stressed when I see him. Or maybe I just still see the hurt he did to me. He is trying to be honest of all the stuff he did (behind my back) but I don’t know if he is te...

dove · dove

Today started out better. "A" talked – actually opened up a little bit --- this morning. As a result, we got on better today. I didn’t feel like he was just lying, denying and withholding. He went to his meeting today and is now in the kitchen cooking dinner. This is the first time in a...

Tammy · Tammy

I attended my first f2f meeting Sunday night. I am new to Al-Anon however, not new to the disease of alcohol. My husband of nearly 19 years is an A and has been most of his life. We married very young and I remember loving him so much. I knew he was broken but i was determined to love him enough to mend...

Heather1 · Heather1

I'm not wasting one more day of my life walking on egg shells and trying to figure out how to be a better wife to my A husband! I filed for divorce last month and he still doesn't get it. He blames me 100%... typical denial and abuse! For 17 years I've watched him drink and drink; verball...

beachbaby · beachbaby

Hi Everyone: First off, I am so grateful I found Al-Anon and this place----I have been coming here daily for about a month, although I dont post much I find strength and learning from others who seem to have been working this program longer than I. I am attending local meetings 2-3 nights a we...

lin0606 · lin0606

In some thread in the last few days, someone said something like "It helps the newbies to see that even the veterans can sometimes slip". I just wanted to say how much I agree with that. One of the best things in this program, for me, is that we are all helping each other. There is no real hierarchy - no all...

mom to 2 · mom to 2

My A--who's been gone for 11 days just showed up yesterday. Begging for mercy--"I don't want to be like this, I hate this, I need help" yadda, yadda. I kept asking him to leave and he started saying it's my house too and stuff like that. During the 11 days I couldn't get him on th...

Tammy · Tammy

4 days ago I left my husband of nearly 19 years. You see, my husband abuses alcohol. This is not a new thing, however it is that I have taken a stand. My husband and I married very young, he was just 18 and I was 19. We had a child within 1 year. Our marriage has not been easy we have had trials all along the wa...

michimoon · michimoon

this is my first day with miracles, and my first time ever to post a message anywhere.. my A is my husband, he is drunk 2 or 3 times a week, he starts drinking and cannot stop till he falls asleep. he will not go to AA he says its a cult. i divorced him in 98 because i was ashamed and embarrassed by him at all my f...

cdb · cdb

Hello friends :) Thanks to some very thoughtful kind compassionate members, I was able to hold myself together in pm-private message tonite. I understand how important it is for some of us to ask for pm when the room is not helpful or picking up on an urgent need. I did let go and let god bu...

LLPluv · LLPluv

I had finally came to my limit last week which I am referring to my Post "First Time asking for Help" This is what has happened since. That night I talked with my kids they agreed that if it took asking their father to leave they would agree with it. He always tells me he will pack the kids up and leave. So...

Sallen · Sallen

Step One We admitted we were powerless I choked on those first words My job was to fix everything That admission was absurd The harder that I struggled The tighter my world got It wasn’t my addiction I had to make you stop My life was utter chaos Of cours...

kitty · kitty

Many of you I was very angry Sunday, as I had to vent in the chat room

After 3 weeks, I have made little progress (I'm trying to focus on me!) but we have seen signs that the A isn't taking his program seriously or to heart. It is sad to realize some ppl really do have to lose everythi...

kerry5 · kerry5

I wrote this share last month. didnt share it. I finished the end of it today. Just my feelings There isnt a second of my life i regret living, Not that i wanted everything that happened in my life to happen. Ive learnt that everything that happens isnt always about you. Everything isnt alway...

cdb · cdb

Hello Dolphin, Gosh! I missed you in chat last night and felt bad I never said hi to you or found out how you were doing. (((((((((Dolphin))))) I had company and the beer drinking husband was yapping away at me :) I couldn't figure out whether to give him eye contact or give the room eye contact.&...

marmare · marmare

Hi All, I feel so tired today, after all the stress of the last two weeks it seems that I just need a nap. LOL Here I am at work thinking I can’t wait to get home and lay down. My A spent some time with his buddy last night, the two of them drinking talking about his buddy’s dad having to be mo...

holly123 · holly123

Hi all, I am kinda in a state of confustion and not sure how to react or not react. I am so glad I have this forum and wish I applied myself more. It is so helpful to be here and yet I don't come very often. Some of it is my busy life and the other is just plain laziness. ...

Belongtome · Belongtome

Yep...I have one, a day's serenity, amidst all the problems and pressure. But, it bothers me that I'm only able to have it when my A is "behaving normally". I must need to work even harder on detachment. Anyone can find a level of serenity at times like these, but when everything goes hay...

cdb · cdb

Hello friends, I had to find a new email site since my other one about ruined my computer this week. I lost all my emails and addresses. If you would like me to have your email address again please email it to me here in the private message email by clicking my cdb name on or pm me in the...

mollyann · mollyann

Hi cdb, I don't know why my messages aren't posting. Here is my email: bluegrey@adelphia.net mollyann -- Edited by mollyann at 09:53, 2005-08-03

heartless39470 · heartless39470

I have always heard that an Alcoholic has to fall on his face to want to make the change.... Does the same go for us. In the past week I have had a lot of life changing things happen in my life. Right now I feel like my world is caving in around me. So I am thinking, is it my time, have I fallen on my face. I need the t...

twinmom2 · twinmom2

I'm sure all of us go through these time with our A when we have just had enough of their bull and get so completly angry at them, the kids, ourselves, and the world. In the last couple of weeks I've noticed that I have some unchecked anger. I find myself really getting bent out of shape over small thi...

cabecka · cabecka

I want to make a post about my appreciation for all the members of MIP- young and old, new and veteran. We are such a cohesive group, we help each other through the toughest of times, and we are there to laugh together when times are good. Each of us has something meaningful to contribute from the day we com...

Powerless · Powerless

I just wanted to check in. It seems that when things are going well, I forget to work on my recovery. Things aren't going well, but at least we are not in a crisis. My husband went to detox last weekend (something he swore he would never do.) I think he did it because he knew in his heart that I...

debilyn · debilyn

Well uno I saw A last Sunday. Said he would call. Did not hold my breath. Was hoping though. Today was his day off so really thought he would call. nope. Honestly? yep yep yep, broke my heart more. is it worse to not have him in my life or more is it better to leave the door open to him just in case,...

shimo · shimo

Hope to see you there tomorrow evening! Everyone is welcome to attend our business meetings whether you have been with us a short time or a long time; your input is valuable to us!

GENERAL BUSINESS GROUP CONSCIENCE MEETING August 3, 2005 - 7:00 PM EST - Al-Anon Chatroom C...

sanddie · sanddie

Anxious soul, God is saying to you today, "Be still, and know that I am God". And there's a reason He's saying it. Your activity, when born out of anxiety, actually prevents Him from showing Himself strong on your behalf. That doesn't mean you're to be passive or lazy; it just means...

sanddie · sanddie

I just wanted to share a daily passage from a book I received from a radio station in my area.... The poorest man in the world is not the one without money, he's the one without a vision for his life. But vision requires focus. When you're spread too thin you become mediocre at everything a...

TLC2 · TLC2

Well friends, It lasted longer than (deep down inside) I thought it would.. Tonight was the second night in a row that I came home (my daughter just had a baby) and he was drunk. I believe he found some vodka last night. Tonight, he had over 10 beer,(according to him) so that means more! Yadda, yadda yad...

dove · dove

When I asked him why he sought the company of other women he told me – after he first tried to blame it on the alcohol – that he wanted the attention. And yet he – allegedly – dropped her without so much as a by-your-leave. So he threw us away for something that he threw away without a backwards glance. &nbs...

david62 · david62

Hello Everyone, I was at a meeting of my home group this past Thursday night that leads me to write this. There was a newbie at this meeting, for whom it was their 3rd meeting. This person had been in a situation the night before with their "A" that had upset them very much. This happ...

cdb · cdb

Hello, For some reason the room is full of spammers! Big time! If any OP happens to read this please come and kick them out. ty cdb

lin0606 · lin0606

The other day I was going to the grocery store, and my 15 year old son said "I'm coming with you, I'm bored". This struck me for several reasons. One, how many 15 year old boys WANT to go shopping with their moms? He really should have gotten a job this summer, if he's THAT bored! The second is more what I wa...

browneyes · browneyes

Hi Kathy I just wanted to tell you how happy I am that you are here. It really helps me to see the other side of addiction and have a lot more compassion, something I was seriously lacking. So I appreciate your contributions to this board. And congratulations on your reco...

kitty · kitty

I was philosophical at first but I guess the reality of my life is setting in. I knew my step dad had a drinking problem but to find out he lacks any of the character traits I value - I mean I knew in business people lie & "lay on the charm, shmooze" -- having no idea that he truly has no honor whatsoe...

jaybird · jaybird

What are you suppose to do when you quit drinking and your husband continues, and now we do not have anything in common...He drinks out in the barn and I go to church. this weekend it started Friday nite with his friends,,,doing drugs and no sleep. I will not go out to the barn because...

marmare · marmare

Hi All, My computer at home is on the fritz, kids went to a site that has loaded the home computer with ad-ware. YUCK.... After my A called Friday, I truly believed that he would come home early and try to make amends. When I didn't hear from him by 11pm I went to bed. I awoke at 3 am an...

DanaAngel · DanaAngel

There was a medical show on last night and one of the patients was a Parkinson's patient. They were going to perform surgery on him to install one of those transmitters in his brain to control the intense shaking. He was young about 47, so a good candidate for the surgery. In my fathe...

Peggy7 · Peggy7

"Self-Blame" Today let's talk about self-blame. Unreasonable expectations and self-blame can really make our lives miserable. For example, how often do you hear yourself say something such as, "I left the car lights on - how could I be so stupid?" Or, "I really put my foot i...

Kim · Kim

the last two days have been horrible. right now I am sitting here after an all out brawl with my A, he was gone all day yesterday (at family's) and all day he kept shutting his phone off in order to "control" me and my feelings. He left at 10 came back at 10 and I foolishly let him torture me instead of li...

LLPluv · LLPluv

I need to hear what boundries others have used or are using. It can help me develop some sort of set of boundries I might want to use. I am not the type of person who sets boundries for my A says its a way of me controling what he can and can not do. But I am ready now to research boundries and select a few I KNO...

cdb · cdb

Thank you so much for you kind words and compliment the other day. :) I guess I was needed where I was and now my path must change. At least you were one that noticed things that others don't. I need to use my energy to take care of me now. I do have a chronic illness and chronic depression and it is time to put th...

ditto · ditto

Well the A has been very emotional. His mood swings are really fierce and driving me crazy. One moment he is loving, the next he is clingy and depressed, the next he is angry and mean. From moment to moment I don't know what to expect. He has told me that he stopped drinking in Ap...

sanddie · sanddie

I read a book the other day by Max Lucado, "It's Not About Me". Perhaps if there comes a day that everyone realizes that our lives are not about us, we can all overcome our emotional bounds to such unhealthy relationships. I know that is what I strive for because there is NO person above God-...

haximon · haximon

[[ room ]] I know my destination...portland, oregon! I cannot thank you enough for being so nice to me during this hard time. Thanks to all who offered to help me through this...it is appreciated more than you know... I am leaving on the 5th and will take every chance to get online...

Lani · Lani

Dear Family, I apologize for the delay in sharing my "one-liner" list. I have a hole in my head. Copy and paste them into a file on your desktop and share them often. They are life-savers when living with a diseased loved one. (interesting how the word "diseased" resembles the word "d...

starlight · starlight

Greetings everyone, I am looking for people interested in joining my fearbuster group. We will meet for 12 weeks via the phone. My fearbuster groups are based on the principles of the book Fearless Living: Live Without Excuses and Love Without Regret by Rhonda Britten. Fearles...

dove · dove

I am at a loss to see how there can be anything substantive between us. He completely bamboozled me for years. I am not ready to put myself in that position again. Maybe I never will be. It wasn’t easy for me to surrender myself to a man, to love. And now – it may be impossible. I may not have enough life le...

hvnly1 · hvnly1

Guess it really ticks some people off to see others doing well. I don't care. I will do what i need to do for me. For that is what Al anon is about. I will seek MY HP. I will submitt to my HP. I know i can't be anyone else's HP. I know that HP will show people what th...

cdb · cdb

Hello everyone, Thanks again for your unconditional support. My daughter stopped by today. She made herself something to eat and enjoyed time with her kitten. I was still feeling quite numb and know that I already said all the things I wanted to say to her this past week. Repeating&nb...

Peggy7 · Peggy7

Our father Who Art In Heaven. Yes? Don't interrupt me. I'm praying. But -- you called ME! Called you? No, I didn't call you. I'm praying. Our Father who art in Heaven. There -- you did it again! Did what? Called ME. You said, "Our Father who art in Heaven" Well, here I am. What's on your mind? But I d...

marmare · marmare

Okay so I started freaking myself out about money, this is the day I write the check for the mortgage, he usually deposits his check around 4:30 or 5, I called the automated line and there was no deposit. The "what if game" started playing in my head.....deep breaths, let go let God....t...

marmare · marmare

When he didn't come home last night, I figured he would call me when he got off work. I called his voice mail and had left him a message to let me know what is going on. I tried to call his phone, he won't answer it. I hate feeling unwanted.....it is lonely and empty.....

mom to 2 · mom to 2

Hi everyone, I will start by saying that I know I need to focus on myself. I'm trying-going to meeting tomorrrow evening. My second. As I write this I am staring at a picture of myself and my husband hugging--we were happy. His drinking was getting progressively worse--he knew and...

kitty · kitty

The A is already self-involved - it (the program) seems pretty straight forward for them. For me, the struggle to keep focus on myself is really difficult, since we disassociate so much from ourselves - always concerned with how, when or why the A is doing. I thnk God for this board, the last 5 d...

Mandi · Mandi

I have not seen my alcoholic ex husband in over two years (except for once in court) and yet I am still terrified of him. My step daughters birthday was today and she now lives in another state with him. I bought her a card and let her little brother sign his name to it. As I signed mine, I...

browneyes · browneyes

I think there is seriously something wrong with me. I am 36 years old and last month I tried to go out with someone who is 23. I met him last summer and again I saw him at the grocery store last month and gave him my phone number.. I didn't know he was that young. But anyway...

LLPluv · LLPluv

I have been married for 14 years to a wonderful man. He has one flaw he has addiction issues. First it was his drinking it moved to smoking pot then occasionally he does a line or two. You could never tell by his behavior hes so good to everyone. He has always provided well for myself and the children. Hes lo...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	this scarf (Preview)     ...	swolves	6	712	Aug 4, 2005 by david62
	Resentments vs Expectations (Preview) Ok I know I am new to all this. But I am almost so frustrated I feel like my soul will burst open. I have heard on board that if you have expectations of your A it will creat resentments. This is how I see it. I know it will be just a stage I am going through and will make it someday to understand. I fe...	LLPluv	11	1746	Aug 4, 2005 by kitty
	Don't know how to ever forgive (Preview) I have now been separated from my A for about 5 or 6 weeks. I can actually see the difference in him for he is getting better. But I am not. I still feel stressed when I see him. Or maybe I just still see the hurt he did to me. He is trying to be honest of all the stuff he did (behind my back) but I don’t know if he is te...	Becka	5	776	Aug 4, 2005 by dove
	The Rat Takes a Baby Step (Preview) Today started out better. "A" talked – actually opened up a little bit --- this morning. As a result, we got on better today. I didn’t feel like he was just lying, denying and withholding. He went to his meeting today and is now in the kitchen cooking dinner. This is the first time in a...	dove	3	643	Aug 4, 2005 by isabela40
	Loving an A is so hard (Preview) I attended my first f2f meeting Sunday night. I am new to Al-Anon however, not new to the disease of alcohol. My husband of nearly 19 years is an A and has been most of his life. We married very young and I remember loving him so much. I knew he was broken but i was determined to love him enough to mend...	Tammy	5	827	Aug 4, 2005 by Carol
	Goodbye To My A Husband! (Preview) I'm not wasting one more day of my life walking on egg shells and trying to figure out how to be a better wife to my A husband! I filed for divorce last month and he still doesn't get it. He blames me 100%... typical denial and abuse! For 17 years I've watched him drink and drink; verball...	Heather1	5	730	Aug 4, 2005 by Carol
	Confused (Preview) Hi Everyone: First off, I am so grateful I found Al-Anon and this place----I have been coming here daily for about a month, although I dont post much I find strength and learning from others who seem to have been working this program longer than I. I am attending local meetings 2-3 nights a we...	beachbaby	7	680	Aug 4, 2005 by beachbaby
	Newbies and Veterans (Preview) In some thread in the last few days, someone said something like "It helps the newbies to see that even the veterans can sometimes slip". I just wanted to say how much I agree with that. One of the best things in this program, for me, is that we are all helping each other. There is no real hierarchy - no all...	lin0606	2	667	Aug 3, 2005 by Guy
	don't know what to do (Preview) My A--who's been gone for 11 days just showed up yesterday. Begging for mercy--"I don't want to be like this, I hate this, I need help" yadda, yadda. I kept asking him to leave and he started saying it's my house too and stuff like that. During the 11 days I couldn't get him on th...	mom to 2	12	919	Aug 3, 2005 by mom to 2
	Confused (Preview) 4 days ago I left my husband of nearly 19 years. You see, my husband abuses alcohol. This is not a new thing, however it is that I have taken a stand. My husband and I married very young, he was just 18 and I was 19. We had a child within 1 year. Our marriage has not been easy we have had trials all along the wa...	Tammy	14	701	Aug 3, 2005 by megan
	Im at the edge (Preview) this is my first day with miracles, and my first time ever to post a message anywhere.. my A is my husband, he is drunk 2 or 3 times a week, he starts drinking and cannot stop till he falls asleep. he will not go to AA he says its a cult. i divorced him in 98 because i was ashamed and embarrassed by him at all my f...	michimoon	8	683	Aug 3, 2005 by Tammy
	My alcoholic and my nerves (Preview) Hello friends :) Thanks to some very thoughtful kind compassionate members, I was able to hold myself together in pm-private message tonite. I understand how important it is for some of us to ask for pm when the room is not helpful or picking up on an urgent need. I did let go and let god bu...	cdb	12	878	Aug 3, 2005 by Tammy
	Is this an Important turning stone? (Preview) I had finally came to my limit last week which I am referring to my Post "First Time asking for Help" This is what has happened since. That night I talked with my kids they agreed that if it took asking their father to leave they would agree with it. He always tells me he will pack the kids up and leave. So...	LLPluv	5	908	Aug 3, 2005 by wallsal55
	May I share a poem I wrote about Step 1 (Preview) Step One We admitted we were powerless I choked on those first words My job was to fix everything That admission was absurd The harder that I struggled The tighter my world got It wasn’t my addiction I had to make you stop My life was utter chaos Of cours...	Sallen	2	772	Aug 3, 2005 by wallsal55
	stuck (Preview) Many of you I was very angry Sunday, as I had to vent in the chat room After 3 weeks, I have made little progress (I'm trying to focus on me!) but we have seen signs that the A isn't taking his program seriously or to heart. It is sad to realize some ppl really do have to lose everythi...	kitty	8	741	Aug 3, 2005 by mamasan
	I wrote this awhile ago (Preview) I wrote this share last month. didnt share it. I finished the end of it today. Just my feelings There isnt a second of my life i regret living, Not that i wanted everything that happened in my life to happen. Ive learnt that everything that happens isnt always about you. Everything isnt alway...	kerry5	3	695	Aug 3, 2005 by Christy
	Dolphin123 :) :) (Preview) Hello Dolphin, Gosh! I missed you in chat last night and felt bad I never said hi to you or found out how you were doing. (((((((((Dolphin))))) I had company and the beer drinking husband was yapping away at me :) I couldn't figure out whether to give him eye contact or give the room eye contact.&...	cdb	1	808	Aug 3, 2005 by Dolphin123
	HMMMM? (Preview) Hi All, I feel so tired today, after all the stress of the last two weeks it seems that I just need a nap. LOL Here I am at work thinking I can’t wait to get home and lay down. My A spent some time with his buddy last night, the two of them drinking talking about his buddy’s dad having to be mo...	marmare	4	691	Aug 3, 2005 by Dolphin123
	not sure where I'm at (Preview) Hi all, I am kinda in a state of confustion and not sure how to react or not react. I am so glad I have this forum and wish I applied myself more. It is so helpful to be here and yet I don't come very often. Some of it is my busy life and the other is just plain laziness. ...	holly123	2	733	Aug 3, 2005 by Belongtome
	A Day's Serenity (Preview) Yep...I have one, a day's serenity, amidst all the problems and pressure. But, it bothers me that I'm only able to have it when my A is "behaving normally". I must need to work even harder on detachment. Anyone can find a level of serenity at times like these, but when everything goes hay...	Belongtome	4	639	Aug 3, 2005 by Belongtome
	New email address for cdb :) (Preview) Hello friends, I had to find a new email site since my other one about ruined my computer this week. I lost all my emails and addresses. If you would like me to have your email address again please email it to me here in the private message email by clicking my cdb name on or pm me in the...	cdb	0	558	Aug 3, 2005 by cdb
	for cdb (Preview) Hi cdb, I don't know why my messages aren't posting. Here is my email: bluegrey@adelphia.net mollyann -- Edited by mollyann at 09:53, 2005-08-03	mollyann	1	590	Aug 3, 2005 by cdb
	Falling on our Face.... (Preview) I have always heard that an Alcoholic has to fall on his face to want to make the change.... Does the same go for us. In the past week I have had a lot of life changing things happen in my life. Right now I feel like my world is caving in around me. So I am thinking, is it my time, have I fallen on my face. I need the t...	heartless39470	5	847	Aug 3, 2005 by whitie
	Unchecked Anger (Preview) I'm sure all of us go through these time with our A when we have just had enough of their bull and get so completly angry at them, the kids, ourselves, and the world. In the last couple of weeks I've noticed that I have some unchecked anger. I find myself really getting bent out of shape over small thi...	twinmom2	5	718	Aug 2, 2005 by Jill
	Group Appreciation (Preview) I want to make a post about my appreciation for all the members of MIP- young and old, new and veteran. We are such a cohesive group, we help each other through the toughest of times, and we are there to laugh together when times are good. Each of us has something meaningful to contribute from the day we com...	cabecka	2	668	Aug 2, 2005 by Christy
	Just checking in (Preview) I just wanted to check in. It seems that when things are going well, I forget to work on my recovery. Things aren't going well, but at least we are not in a crisis. My husband went to detox last weekend (something he swore he would never do.) I think he did it because he knew in his heart that I...	Powerless	1	610	Aug 2, 2005 by marmare
	Today for reals (Preview) Well uno I saw A last Sunday. Said he would call. Did not hold my breath. Was hoping though. Today was his day off so really thought he would call. nope. Honestly? yep yep yep, broke my heart more. is it worse to not have him in my life or more is it better to leave the door open to him just in case,...	debilyn	4	859	Aug 2, 2005 by Belongtome
	BUS MTG AGENDA - AUGUST 3, 2005 (Preview) Hope to see you there tomorrow evening! Everyone is welcome to attend our business meetings whether you have been with us a short time or a long time; your input is valuable to us! GENERAL BUSINESS GROUP CONSCIENCE MEETING August 3, 2005 - 7:00 PM EST - Al-Anon Chatroom C...	shimo	1	672	Aug 2, 2005 by cabecka
	Be Still, And Know That I Am God (HP) (Preview) Anxious soul, God is saying to you today, "Be still, and know that I am God". And there's a reason He's saying it. Your activity, when born out of anxiety, actually prevents Him from showing Himself strong on your behalf. That doesn't mean you're to be passive or lazy; it just means...	sanddie	4	915	Aug 2, 2005 by cdb
	Stay Focused (Preview) I just wanted to share a daily passage from a book I received from a radio station in my area.... The poorest man in the world is not the one without money, he's the one without a vision for his life. But vision requires focus. When you're spread too thin you become mediocre at everything a...	sanddie	1	808	Aug 2, 2005 by cdb
	Party's over or has it just begun?? (Preview) Well friends, It lasted longer than (deep down inside) I thought it would.. Tonight was the second night in a row that I came home (my daughter just had a baby) and he was drunk. I believe he found some vodka last night. Tonight, he had over 10 beer,(according to him) so that means more! Yadda, yadda yad...	TLC2	5	823	Aug 2, 2005 by cdb
	More Me, Less Rat (Preview) When I asked him why he sought the company of other women he told me – after he first tried to blame it on the alcohol – that he wanted the attention. And yet he – allegedly – dropped her without so much as a by-your-leave. So he threw us away for something that he threw away without a backwards glance. &nbs...	dove	8	852	Aug 1, 2005 by lin0606
	Calls for Help (Preview) Hello Everyone, I was at a meeting of my home group this past Thursday night that leads me to write this. There was a newbie at this meeting, for whom it was their 3rd meeting. This person had been in a situation the night before with their "A" that had upset them very much. This happ...	david62	12	828	Aug 1, 2005 by cdb
	3am central time,,Need OP In room (Preview) Hello, For some reason the room is full of spammers! Big time! If any OP happens to read this please come and kick them out. ty cdb	cdb	8	1032	Aug 1, 2005 by tea2
	Feeling welcome (Preview) The other day I was going to the grocery store, and my 15 year old son said "I'm coming with you, I'm bored". This struck me for several reasons. One, how many 15 year old boys WANT to go shopping with their moms? He really should have gotten a job this summer, if he's THAT bored! The second is more what I wa...	lin0606	4	679	Aug 1, 2005 by cdb
	For Kathy570 (Preview) Hi Kathy I just wanted to tell you how happy I am that you are here. It really helps me to see the other side of addiction and have a lot more compassion, something I was seriously lacking. So I appreciate your contributions to this board. And congratulations on your reco...	browneyes	2	602	Aug 1, 2005 by cdb
	raw (Preview) I was philosophical at first but I guess the reality of my life is setting in. I knew my step dad had a drinking problem but to find out he lacks any of the character traits I value - I mean I knew in business people lie & "lay on the charm, shmooze" -- having no idea that he truly has no honor whatsoe...	kitty	4	725	Aug 1, 2005 by cdb
	Husbands Drinking (Preview) What are you suppose to do when you quit drinking and your husband continues, and now we do not have anything in common...He drinks out in the barn and I go to church. this weekend it started Friday nite with his friends,,,doing drugs and no sleep. I will not go out to the barn because...	jaybird	3	707	Aug 1, 2005 by cdb
	Monday Morning (Preview) Hi All, My computer at home is on the fritz, kids went to a site that has loaded the home computer with ad-ware. YUCK.... After my A called Friday, I truly believed that he would come home early and try to make amends. When I didn't hear from him by 11pm I went to bed. I awoke at 3 am an...	marmare	2	621	Aug 1, 2005 by marmare
	Father in law and Parkinson's (Preview) There was a medical show on last night and one of the patients was a Parkinson's patient. They were going to perform surgery on him to install one of those transmitters in his brain to control the intense shaking. He was young about 47, so a good candidate for the surgery. In my fathe...	DanaAngel	2	630	Aug 1, 2005 by cdb
	"Self-Blame" (Preview) "Self-Blame" Today let's talk about self-blame. Unreasonable expectations and self-blame can really make our lives miserable. For example, how often do you hear yourself say something such as, "I left the car lights on - how could I be so stupid?" Or, "I really put my foot i...	Peggy7	2	901	Aug 1, 2005 by cdb
	please help (Preview) the last two days have been horrible. right now I am sitting here after an all out brawl with my A, he was gone all day yesterday (at family's) and all day he kept shutting his phone off in order to "control" me and my feelings. He left at 10 came back at 10 and I foolishly let him torture me instead of li...	Kim	7	822	Aug 1, 2005 by marmare
	What boundries have or are you using at this moment? (Preview) I need to hear what boundries others have used or are using. It can help me develop some sort of set of boundries I might want to use. I am not the type of person who sets boundries for my A says its a way of me controling what he can and can not do. But I am ready now to research boundries and select a few I KNO...	LLPluv	8	999	Aug 1, 2005 by marmare
	Lucy :) (Preview) Thank you so much for you kind words and compliment the other day. :) I guess I was needed where I was and now my path must change. At least you were one that noticed things that others don't. I need to use my energy to take care of me now. I do have a chronic illness and chronic depression and it is time to put th...	cdb	0	596	Aug 1, 2005 by cdb
	Question about not drinking (Preview) Well the A has been very emotional. His mood swings are really fierce and driving me crazy. One moment he is loving, the next he is clingy and depressed, the next he is angry and mean. From moment to moment I don't know what to expect. He has told me that he stopped drinking in Ap...	ditto	6	900	Aug 1, 2005 by debilyn
	It's Not About Me! (Preview) I read a book the other day by Max Lucado, "It's Not About Me". Perhaps if there comes a day that everyone realizes that our lives are not about us, we can all overcome our emotional bounds to such unhealthy relationships. I know that is what I strive for because there is NO person above God-...	sanddie	3	699	Jul 31, 2005 by sanddie
	Portland bound!! (Preview) [[ room ]] I know my destination...portland, oregon! I cannot thank you enough for being so nice to me during this hard time. Thanks to all who offered to help me through this...it is appreciated more than you know... I am leaving on the 5th and will take every chance to get online...	haximon	10	2738	Jul 31, 2005 by afglin
	FAVORITE ONE-LINERS (Preview) Dear Family, I apologize for the delay in sharing my "one-liner" list. I have a hole in my head. Copy and paste them into a file on your desktop and share them often. They are life-savers when living with a diseased loved one. (interesting how the word "diseased" resembles the word "d...	Lani	1	4506	Jul 31, 2005 by afglin
	Fearbuster Group (Preview) Greetings everyone, I am looking for people interested in joining my fearbuster group. We will meet for 12 weeks via the phone. My fearbuster groups are based on the principles of the book Fearless Living: Live Without Excuses and Love Without Regret by Rhonda Britten. Fearles...	starlight	0	588	Jul 31, 2005 by starlight
	I Am Afraid (Preview) I am at a loss to see how there can be anything substantive between us. He completely bamboozled me for years. I am not ready to put myself in that position again. Maybe I never will be. It wasn’t easy for me to surrender myself to a man, to love. And now – it may be impossible. I may not have enough life le...	dove	6	809	Jul 31, 2005 by kathy570
	working my own program (Preview) Guess it really ticks some people off to see others doing well. I don't care. I will do what i need to do for me. For that is what Al anon is about. I will seek MY HP. I will submitt to my HP. I know i can't be anyone else's HP. I know that HP will show people what th...	hvnly1	4	836	Jul 31, 2005 by hvnly1
	Update on daughter (Preview) Hello everyone, Thanks again for your unconditional support. My daughter stopped by today. She made herself something to eat and enjoyed time with her kitten. I was still feeling quite numb and know that I already said all the things I wanted to say to her this past week. Repeating&nb...	cdb	6	827	Jul 31, 2005 by hvnly1
	Lord's Prayer with a Twist! (Preview) Our father Who Art In Heaven. Yes? Don't interrupt me. I'm praying. But -- you called ME! Called you? No, I didn't call you. I'm praying. Our Father who art in Heaven. There -- you did it again! Did what? Called ME. You said, "Our Father who art in Heaven" Well, here I am. What's on your mind? But I d...	Peggy7	2	720	Jul 31, 2005 by kitty
	He called (Preview) Okay so I started freaking myself out about money, this is the day I write the check for the mortgage, he usually deposits his check around 4:30 or 5, I called the automated line and there was no deposit. The "what if game" started playing in my head.....deep breaths, let go let God....t...	marmare	3	687	Jul 31, 2005 by Dolphin123
	I hate this.... (Preview) When he didn't come home last night, I figured he would call me when he got off work. I called his voice mail and had left him a message to let me know what is going on. I tried to call his phone, he won't answer it. I hate feeling unwanted.....it is lonely and empty.....	marmare	5	749	Jul 31, 2005 by Dolphin123
	looking for insight (Preview) Hi everyone, I will start by saying that I know I need to focus on myself. I'm trying-going to meeting tomorrrow evening. My second. As I write this I am staring at a picture of myself and my husband hugging--we were happy. His drinking was getting progressively worse--he knew and...	mom to 2	11	740	Jul 30, 2005 by megan
	straight forward for them (Preview) The A is already self-involved - it (the program) seems pretty straight forward for them. For me, the struggle to keep focus on myself is really difficult, since we disassociate so much from ourselves - always concerned with how, when or why the A is doing. I thnk God for this board, the last 5 d...	kitty	4	688	Jul 30, 2005 by dove
	Why do I give him this power over me?? (Preview) I have not seen my alcoholic ex husband in over two years (except for once in court) and yet I am still terrified of him. My step daughters birthday was today and she now lives in another state with him. I bought her a card and let her little brother sign his name to it. As I signed mine, I...	Mandi	3	791	Jul 30, 2005 by browneyes
	I am so messed up (Preview) I think there is seriously something wrong with me. I am 36 years old and last month I tried to go out with someone who is 23. I met him last summer and again I saw him at the grocery store last month and gave him my phone number.. I didn't know he was that young. But anyway...	browneyes	7	842	Jul 30, 2005 by browneyes
	First time asking for help (Preview) I have been married for 14 years to a wonderful man. He has one flaw he has addiction issues. First it was his drinking it moved to smoking pot then occasionally he does a line or two. You could never tell by his behavior hes so good to everyone. He has always provided well for myself and the children. Hes lo...	LLPluv	25	1006	Jul 30, 2005 by lildee
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.