Today started out better. "A" talked – actually opened up a little bit --- this morning. As a result, we got on better today. I didn’t feel like he was just lying, denying and withholding.

He went to his meeting today and is now in the kitchen cooking dinner. This is the first time in a very long time that I have had even a glimmer of hope for a future for us.

His mom called today. His mom & dad are celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary next week. They are going up to Perthshire, Scotland. I told her she is my inspiration. I also told her that I am not leaving him. She seemed grateful and pleased and a little surprised.

I am just living according to what I have believed and preached for years – “Be Christlike now. Marriage is for better or worse, in sickness and in health.”

I will not roll over for him, though. If he really wants to stay, he has to comply with my demands (yes, demands -- we're way beyond requests at this juncture). So, today he went to get tested for STDs.Baby steps, but every step is important.

I hope I am making the right decision. I know it's a big risk, but I really do want our marriage to work.