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A is not my husband...why is my marriage falling apart?
(Preview)
As you all know my A is my son. He has been living at my house for almost a year. It is a separate apartment attached to our house with its own entrance.
He is never at the house when he is drinking. He has a girlfriend that I guess he stays with most of the time. He loves to be at my house because of the locati...
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Gailey
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10
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430
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coping
(Preview)
How to cope with the heartbreak of the A getting sicker and sicker and slipping away? Thats a question that perplexes me lately.
I see he's looking beaten. He is drained, and almost lifeless at times. He looks like he's getting old, wearing away. I know he's ill with addiction. Also with some physc...
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annmarie
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3
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209
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resentments
(Preview)
hi everyone, i wanted to write about resentments today and share about how we can let them go. why are we holding on to them anyways? resentments get us no where and hurt ourselves more then anyone else. we are all aware of this but yet we still hold on. so what can we do about it? we can practice forgi...
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notsonew1111
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3
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272
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Debilyn says..............
(Preview)
"He has to see and believe drugs take away my home, my ability to work, my friends, my dignity my family etc."
Thanks so much for saying that Debilyn. It really helped me to believe that we are doing the right thing with having my son move out of the house.
As the day goes on I am feeling bett...
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Gailey
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1
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290
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Oh to have a bank account with endless pots of money in it...
(Preview)
This would be lovely. Why is it when one thing goes wrong in A's life it pours bucketts on them. The most frustrating piece is that if your in the firing range because you live with an A its going to affect you and everyone else around. My A has never been a man who could carry a stable job...
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twinmom2
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6
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251
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need help please,losing it
(Preview)
(((((alanon family))))
Well I'm working on my 4th step and so much crap keeps coming up.That's supposed to be a good thing though,I guess.Gotta get it out.I am stuck on something I'm hoping someone here can help me with.
Short history, I've been married since I was 17 (36 years) to my alcoholic hus...
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drucilla06
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10
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529
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Did I do the right thing?
(Preview)
My soon to be ex-husband called her the other night. There is a restraining order and so he is not supposed to (he is a lawyer and knows). I called the police right away. He spent the next night (Wednesday) in jail. What do you think? The background info to this is...
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missingKodiak
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5
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382
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Sydney Grace Update
(Preview)
Baby Sydney Grace (from post Prayers for a Newborn) is still about the same. They are just trying to get her stabalized enough to do surgery on her bowels. Her mom and dad are just trying to cope, but they have a wonderful faith, so I feel they will be OK. They have another little girl w...
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Becky1
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0
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189
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Ever have trouble speaking alanon to someone who doesn't understand alanon?
(Preview)
Hi all,
By speaking alanon I mean using phrases like accepting unacceptable behavior, not giving advice, and not attacking the "A".
At the beginnging of this month my best friend moved out of state with her long term boyfriend. And she and I have talked weekly since then. Well I just got off the pho...
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Dolphin123
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7
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341
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detachment with love or abandonment?
(Preview)
Hi Family,
Anyone who has read my posts and remembers, I have a 36 yr old son diagnosed with bipolar/schizo affective. He stayed here with us for about 6 or 7 months when he gradually got worse ...kept having hallucinations and delusions of plots against him and most of the time his anger was di...
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irish54
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7
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474
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Calling CYN..stranger!
(Preview)
has anyone seen CYN lately????
i e-mailed her ages ago and didnt hear from her since... just a little worried...
just a quick update on me.... i havent spoken to my ex in over 4 weeks... and have no intention of ever speaking to him again.... after his latest stunt of swallowing his concoction of tab...
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Rebecca
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2
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192
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How do you???????????
(Preview)
search out all the posts you have made since you started?
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Gailey
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3
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244
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what a bad day
(Preview)
i can't wait till i write "what a good day". the foreclouser sale on my house is tomarrow so i had moving men come today to get the last few things out. i hadn't been there in months. it was so hard. i cried and felt awful. all the memories, our hopes and dreams and the kids. that was their home. we all loved it s...
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serendipity
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6
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321
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Taking it Back
(Preview)
Hi everyone! It has been a few months since I have been around. I have been going to F2F meetings and haven't had a computer to get online. Now I am back in school and have gotten settled so I might be able to do more posting.
This summer has been quite the exciting thing. The la...
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hudsond
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5
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256
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GRETA Thank you so much!
(Preview)
I just want to thank Greta again for her post about the 'blame game'. I chatted online with my AH again tonight (in Shreveport now and still on his way here) and he threw in the marriage vow thing and talked about how he would never kick me out (I moved out of the house and he left on his own). I got caught in it a...
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carolinagirl
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1
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206
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Update; Family Death
(Preview)
Hi Family,
As many of you now know, two of my aunts were brutally murdered in Fort Myers, Fla. on the 10th of Sept, two weeks ago.
Well, on Saturday, Sept 23rd, the person who murdered them was caught in Topeka, Kanas and is now in jail there. He was identified by finger prints and other forscen...
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John
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13
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431
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update - long
(Preview)
Hi everyone,
I’m back. Did some more research again & WHAT a lesson…..why do I do this to myself? Again & again?
I have no one to blame but myself!
I had a no-where job, no-where life so I decided to put in my notice with my apartment complex. ...
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CAM0914
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3
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269
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Feeling angry alot lately
(Preview)
(((Hello Group)))
I hope all of you had a good weekend. My weekend was nice, I spent some good quality time with my kids and the A. One thing I noticed for me is my anger. I do believe I read somewhere I think it was Codependent No More that once a person begins to heal from Codependenc...
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twinmom2
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10
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367
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angry
(Preview)
This morning I wanted so badly to hit him. The urge was overwhelming. Somehow I managed to stop myself. I tried to focus on rubber and glue, detatchment etc. I couldn't. He has wronged me too much this time.
I am not a violent person in any way...quite the opposite actually. Yet today I felt taken over b...
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annmarie
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10
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240
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Sharing part of my life - A phone call
(Preview)
(This is a share from Sept. 20 I shared with my other group along with an update I did today. Wanted to share with my family here also.)
Was sitting here this morning playing a Hoyle puzzle game on the computer and went and changed the music that you can listen to while playing... well this music made m...
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kismetstrand
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5
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400
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in need of support.
(Preview)
hi. this is my first time posting. i am new to this board, and boards in general. i am 33 years old and have been dating an alcoholic for about a year. i have been to one alanon meeting and found it extremely helpful. i plan on going to more meetings...many more. i k...
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shannon
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8
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423
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The Blame Game
(Preview)
Here is a topic for me. Before alanon, Pushing blame was where it was at. Any conversation with my ex, melted down into blame being discussed. Who's fault was it? It swirled in my head day in day out. If he would just do this...that would be ok. Any blame he would push my way, I wo...
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greta
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6
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367
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This is it....
(Preview)
We can not do this any longer.
So I came here for some words of wisdom. Maybe even just to be able to talk to someone about what my family is going through. It is lonely being the parents of an alcoholic son.
Sorry, I first should introduce myself and give you some backgroun...
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Sammi
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6
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254
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Last night was so hard
(Preview)
Hello All...I not really sure where my thoughts are today...last night was so hard to get through...hubby has been gone a week today..I miss him and want him home...but him being gone was my choice...and now I feel like I HAVE to stick to my guns this time or nothing will ever change. I have set bou...
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acjmom
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5
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370
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i felt so much better last nite
(Preview)
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faith
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3
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1553
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Feeling sad and depressed
(Preview)
I got online and my AH was on there so we chatted for a while and it was very sad and depressing. He is robbing and stealing his way across the country so he can get back here. He keeps talking about how he can't be better unless he is with his family.
I tried to stay positive in our discussion and encourag...
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carolinagirl
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4
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427
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not being provoked
(Preview)
Well as everyone knows the A gets up in the morning pretty early (that is when I am not working I generally work till 6:00 a.m.) but on my days off (which are few and far between) he gets up and immediately slams into a huge fit of provocation. At some point in the past I usually bit the bullet. A...
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maresie2
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5
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268
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I told my story
(Preview)
I normally have my hair done every other Thursday... my little treat for me. This past Wednesday my hair looked awful so I called my hairdresser to see if possibly he could work me in. My HP was at work in this one and he had time to do my hair so I was a happy camper.
When I got home DH told me tha...
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Mobirdie
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8
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344
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Waking up in a new world
(Preview)
Life has been good to me, I have a lot that others don't have, haven't really had to work hard, not hit on, physically that is, and two beautiful boys; so why am I so miserable and lonely. Well maybe it is because my AH has decided after 18 years of sobriety that he can handle drinking just a bit, WRONG! Havin...
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Lakegirl
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6
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501
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update on very bad saturday nite
(Preview)
well AH went to shands hospital in gainsville,he left to go there at 5 this morning.we just got got home.they did alot of ct scans on his face and head,and it came back that he doesnt have a broken jaw at all.the small hospital here where we live was wrong.it is just very badly bruised..and of all things th...
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bev
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5
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394
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GGGRRRRR.....
(Preview)
Good Morning All....Today is day 10 of my A being gone, and even with him being gone he STILL has my household in an uproar, except now its the fact that he gone that is causing trouble,my 16 year old loves my A (as does everybody else) and cant get over the fact that hes gone, now he has made up h...
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acjmom
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6
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259
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In need of ESH - (long)
(Preview)
Dear family,
I am having an issue to deal with that I just don't know how to handle.
My A son and dil will be finalizing a divorce next month. I have come to accept that. My 2 granddaughters, ages 4 and 6 are still asking why daddy is not coming back to live with them. It is heartbreaking! When he firs...
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Gailey
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4
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341
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very bad saturday nite
(Preview)
well to begin with this morning AH wanted to run a few errands,so we left to do what we needed to do.around 2 on our way home he said i want to go to the river and do some fishing and have some beers..i didnt say anything...went home he got his fishing stuff together,ran him to the bait store to get worms and be...
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bev
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6
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272
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Thanks to all
(Preview)
Just reading your encouraging words makes me feel more at ease. I do live in a small town where every one knows everybodys business, it does make it more difficult for a meeting. It has been 17 years since I last went to one, never thought I would have to again. This is wonderful getting to type out my feeel...
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Lakegirl
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1
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293
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Hello
(Preview)
This is my first post here, just saying hello. I get to Al-Anon meetings once a week or so, but it's nice to have something in between that is available just to share, vent, or whatever.
I don't currently live with an active alcoholic, and not sure if I would or could. Been there, done that. It is very d...
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barisax
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4
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237
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aside from life w/your A - is your life challenging?
(Preview)
Im bored at work (library), Im bored at home
I need something to strive for - a goal - something to work towards. Years ago it was weight loss for example.
What are your immediate goals? something you do every day to make yourself happy?
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Barbara
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4
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255
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Reward of a different kind....
(Preview)
My concert was awesome. Both bands totally rocked. Several things occured to me during and after the show. The groups that played were Journey (my fav) and Def Leppard (hubs fav) so it was really apprapo that we went together. I have always loved Journey for their music but...
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AlaMom
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3
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215
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Now THIS is Al-Anon!
(Preview)
Thought I'd share a wonderful email I got from a friend.
>>Two Horses >> >>Just up the road from my home is a field, with two horses in it. From a >>distance, each looks like every other horse. But if you stop your car, or >>are walking by, y...
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irish54
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7
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364
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Please pray for my friend
(Preview)
((((((((Friends))))))))
I received some very bad news this week. My dearest friend from high school is dying of cancer. She has very little hope of winning the battle over cancer, since it has invaded most of her body. We have been friends for over 42 years and to think of not hav...
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Lexie
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9
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300
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Letter to My Alcoholic Husband, Words He'll Never Read
(Preview)
OK, rtexas got me to thinking. I sometimes try to write my AH a note, or letter, and it backfires on me. I have examined my motives, and I just have wanted him to know my true feelings. But, it often angers him. Lately, I have written to him, and torn them up before I give him a chance to re...
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Becky1
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11
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17705
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Get Out the Earplugs
(Preview)
Last night, my AH came home from the neighbor's house, (who is also an A, and his longtime friend since they were teenagers.) He was drunk. Started putting me down, being mean.
I have tendonitis in my thumb, which is very painful, and has developed into "trigger th...
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Becky1
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12
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428
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Progress in me
(Preview)
When I joined this program I was lost and hurt, scared, tired, troubled, full of resentment, anger, unhappiness, doubt.
What this program has done for me is it has showed me the way at a life that I have wanted but was to scared to try to have. Now I know progress is not perfect. I know that I will ha...
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DoN4me
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0
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168
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Still alive
(Preview)
Hi roomies! I am still alive. Still dont have a computer and the one at the library wont let me into the chat room. I just wanted to say HI ! I miss you roomies (((((( erin, sparky, bump, cujo, josey, DE, john,Tea, GG, trina, joni, tt, cedar, kis)))))) and I know there were more. ...
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lulu2
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4
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218
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Serenity
(Preview)
((((((((((((((Family)))))))))))),
Just had to share with you a beautiful day.
Hubby has been scoping out hunting places on state lands because he is disabled and can drive the trooper there. He has been bugging me for the past several weeks to go and look at one with him. I hav...
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Karilynn
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10
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298
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I am a triathlete
(Preview)
What is a triathlete? Someone who competes in a race with 3 events. My events yesterday were a half mile swim, 15 mile bike and 3.1 mile run.
This course of events took me 2 hours and 14 minutes and I successfully finished without walking.
Why do I post this here?
When I found this site I was at the m...
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megan
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17
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290
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Letter to My A-Anon Family Which They Will Hopefully Read
(Preview)
Dearest Al-Anon friends~
I love you all so very much. Although we have never met in person, I often think of each one of you as I go about my day. I work on an assembly line, so I have lots of time to think!
When I first came here, I was hesitant, I had never gotten involved in online chatroom...
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Becky1
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11
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567
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Rewards of doing the right things...
(Preview)
Last week I posted about my feelings of missing a concert due to a death in my recovering A's family. I shared about resentments I had over his past issues vs. my want to attend this show. That night I attended a meeting in which one of the topics was step 6. During this meeting it occur...
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AlaMom
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4
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418
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HUGS - Women's Retreat
(Preview)
I had the wonderful opportunity to attend the HUGS (Hope, Unity, Gratitude, Serenity) Women's Retreat in Spring, TX this past weekend. I also had the pleasure of sharing my story as the Saturday night Al-Anon Speaker. It was such an honor and humbling experience.
I, like many...
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Rita G
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2
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420
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Is it for real?
(Preview)
I have currently found myself attracted to someone who is a recovering A (I have only known him sober). This is new in the fact that I have not been in a relationship with an A for years. However, I grew up surrounded by As.
The connection the two of us share is phenomenal.&nb...
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Newbie
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9
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369
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Al-Anon's Declaration
(Preview)
Let It Begin With Me
When anyone, anywhere, reaches out for help
let the hand of Al-Anon and Alateen
always be there, and - Let It Begin With Me.
JEWEL LYRICS
"Hands"
If I could tell the world just one thing
It would be that we're all OK
And not to worry 'cause worry...
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kismetstrand
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2
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469
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i am looking for a way to cope
(Preview)
Hello to all- I am a 28 yr old woman who has had her life forever changed by alcohol. I know it started in the womb-My mother and father were both alcoholics-My mother 36 when she got pregant with me already had 5 other children whom she had givin up to different people for the disease-my father 40 an...
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faith
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4
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256
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when to take threats seriously...
(Preview)
Hello
Me again. My husband has called me several times this afternoon begging and pleading with me for 1 more chance. I just don't think I can do it.
He's talked to a few people about killing himself. He even left me a fake suicide phone message on Monday morning. He was very drunk and high on cocaine,...
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artygirl
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12
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491
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Prayers for Strength
(Preview)
blue
Hello Friends,
Well it's finally the last straw....I have been trying so hard to bide my time until I am a little more financially able.....all that went out the window today..after being out of work for more than 4 months and me holding us together...he got his fi...
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Andrea12
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14
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574
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why is he so weak?
(Preview)
Why does my guy sabotage our relationship with drugs/alcohol every time things are going so good? it doesn't make sense... he uses it when he needs it the least? I'm so tired of the ups and downs, been hurt and let down more times than I can count, really having a difficult time understandi...
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by a thread
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11
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478
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Now What?
(Preview)
I'm new here, have been to a few f2f meetings. My husband is an A, been with him for 20 years, married for 9 of those years. He was out of control when I met him, still drank, but was better most of the time. In 2000, he went on a bender while on vacation in the Carribean, went to a Dr. down there and was tol...
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Kelly M
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6
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211
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Feeling numb , just saw a fatal car accident & found my last 2 goats dead
(Preview)
We had just gone outside with our little dogs about an hour ago. 10pm, I heard a skid then a thud. I said it sounds like a car accident. Remember now, I live in a rural county. so we have almost complete silence out here. Our dogs started howling. We thought surely someone on the blacktop heard it and will go...
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hmrnrnmm
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7
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617
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just need to vent
(Preview)
hi havent posted in a couple weeks..but this past weekend i went away to disney with my mother in law,daughter and granddaughter{went from sat to tuesday}on friday the day before we went my AH wanted to go out so i took him to the bar{he went to the bar that deals with drugs}well anyways i went to pick him u...
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bev
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6
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379
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Celebrating my growth in Alanon
(Preview)
It has been almost 6 weeks since my A husband and I were talking. We have been here many times and in the past it is around this time I start getting weak. I would be so devastated when my husband and I would argue and he would demand that I leave and tell me he wanted a divorce. He wo...
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JulieLynn
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2
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266
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the money stuff
(Preview)
As some of you know I have been working a pretty low wage job and not really getting that far with my plan b. I have the opportunity tomorrow to go interview for a much better paid job and also another interview on Monday. I am hoping to do like Andrea and others have to land a job despite the odds again...
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maresie2
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4
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235
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I want this to be over...once and for all.
(Preview)
The A I've lived with for 6 years didn't come home last night. It's not the first time and I know it won't be the last. But my kids are 10 and 12 now and they "get it" that he isn't still working at 10 pm. I don't want them to think their successful mom is a sap when it comes to relationships and what she wil...
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kicky
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3
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258
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