The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I took a second job delivering pizzas for Dominos (don't freak out Diva :) so now I am working an insane amount and trying to figure out if I can really balance all this. I worked the last two days on my days off from the regular job which I am at now. I will probably be working nights from 7-9 during the week on a few days and then on fri and sat nights. I have been feeling kind of guilty about getting home right at or after bed time for the kids. Also about having my 13 year old daughter responsible for watching them all night. Why do we always have to have the guilt about everything? I really need the job to get caught up on bills and for christmas but I also want to SEE my children sometimes! I am hoping that once I get into a groove we can get it worked out to be able to have extra money and still have quality time but I must say this is TRICKY! I think I will end up working about 50 hours per week and of course driving 8 to get to and from work and it all seems so overwhelming to be off in a rush to the next place to get that money right. It is strange to be gone from them at night but then I think the time we were together wasn't very "quality" time and maybe now that there's less available it will be.
How do you do that? I mean, you need money so, you go get a job. That is awsome. I have had the same job for 13 years. I love it but I have never earned a living from it. Infact, with gas prices, it costs me more to go to work than I make. It is stupid except that I love it, I'm great at it and without it my kids wouldn't be able to dance (which all 3 love) because there's no way I could afford to pay for their classes. So, here I am starving, buying groceries at the gas station on credit all because going and getting a second job is terrifying. I have a million excuses as to why I really CAN'T get a second job and they are very legitimite. But they don't pay the bills. I am done begging for handouts from my mother so I am broke. Last week I cried with joy because I didn't bounce a check. I was so proud of myself. Kinda sad at 34 but until now I just wrote the checks and begged money to cover them.
Now, what am I lacking that I fear so completly just going and getting a job? Every other job I have had (like 3. 13 years ago) I stunk at. I had a cash drawer when I was the "Hot Dog Princess" never came out right. Always over or under. Don't ask me how. The people who owned the place thought I must be defective. I was a computer page at a library when I ws 16 and that involved helping people make copies for 25 cents. And I was a telemarketer for the opera when I was 17 for 6 months, I made one sale.
If it's not teaching dance I have no confidence that I can do it. But at the same time, I think get over myself, we are starving, I can't pay the bills and I don't qualify for any assistence. Time to be a big girl and take care of these kids I brought into the world.
How do you do it CG?
Oh and about the kids, at the very least they will see that if you need money, you Go WORK FOR IT! I missed that lesson somewhere in the growing up process. Just imagine their story when they grow up "My mom worked 2 jobs to keep us going. I am very close to my sibilings, we learned to take care of each other." What great lessons CG!
I don't know, just seemed like the thing to do LOL. Need $$$? Hmmm get a job. I wanted to wait tables but it's the off season. I like the fact that pizza driving is really flexible for the most part and you usually only work a few hours at night. Waiting tables is a little rougher on the body, longer hours but MUCH better money. I don't know why you think you can't do it? I also sell stuff on ebay too... I guess I'm just good at finding ways to make money. I wish I could find a way to make more in less time LOL :)
well I do have a second job and I am exhausted from it. I am going to try to do debt consolidation and find a way around making the huge credit card payments I make now. I cannot compare having dogs to children but I really can't leave my dogs alone all the time otherwise I am sure something in me would justify being gone night and day. I tired a 2nd job for a while when I was with the A, admittedly I had a much harder phsyical first job then. I could not do it. I manage with the 2nd job right now but I am absolutely exhausted by it.
