Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

kablisnow · kablisnow

Im scared and lonely. In alot of ways I think that my "A" has become my addiction. I would call constantly to make sure he was ok. I saw a post on here where someone said you cant " love it out of them ". Thats exactly what I have tried to do over the years, that and " Yell it out of him...

Independence76 · Independence76

Tonight I'm just really really tired. My A has been "sober" for 60 days but tonight I found a receipt (I was not snooping, it was on the coffee table and I was cleaning) for the day after his 60th day. He's been really nasty to me lately, he's not working, and now this. I saw the receipt and to...

RLC · RLC

To All MIP Members: As some of you might have noticed Jerry F has not posted on MIP in almost a week. I'll be honest I was getting a little concerned. I just received a phone call from him explaining that he had computer problems and it could be another week before the problem can be corrected. He wanted me t...

maresie · maresie

I had to go to the emergency room over the holiday for an infection that just came up out of nowhere. I went alone and I didn't actually find it that stressful. During my relationship with the ex A I had to go to the emergency room twice. Both times he absolutely did not want to go and I delayed going becaus...

Jozie · Jozie

Hello MIP Family :) Sorry been Gone awhile... Wish I could add Some excuse here but there really isn't one, just not on as much I suppose... Change in the weather finally got warm enough for me to move around, but it also left me Wide Open, to resort back to old ways... I Sooo can't wait to get to a FTF This Sun...

AGO · AGO

Are the result of unhealthy situations... Whether they were in our childhood or later in life, I have found if I am behaving in an unhealthy way I need to address that, but I also need to address the situation I am in. As I was going through life many years into my recovery I noticed that around healthy peop...

Aloha · Aloha

I'm realizing more and more that although I may have gotten rid of the proverbial "monkey" on my back in relation to asking for a divorce from my AH, I still get to apply the Al-Anon program in so many aspects of my life. I know when we've gone our separate ways and we're no longer living togethe...

maresie · maresie

I tend to view anything an alcoholic/addict does as a direct affront to me. The ex A's spiral downward was very very hard for me to deal with and still can find me in a froth of resentment, rage and astonishment. i can stay there for a long time and never get back to the business of moving on with my life. F...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

THANKS TO ALL WHO POSTED ABOUT MY BR! THERE IS MORE TO IT THAN I AM SHARING--I HAVE MORE TRUST ISSUES. I GUESS SOME THINGS ARE BETTER LEFT UNSAID! I CAN SEE THAT A LOT OF US SUFFER WHEN WE DON'T NEED TO. I PERSONALLY HAVE SUFFERED PHYSICALLY & MENTALLY FOR SO MANY YEARS THAT THE THOUGHT OF TAKING CARE OF...

aredhead · aredhead

I found out last week that my ah slept with a co-worker. A woman that I had invited into my home. Things have been bad between us for so long, but I never thought this would happen. He kept saying he would stop drinking. I am devastated, but the only shred of hope i had was that he had hit bottom. I was wro...

buick23 · buick23

So 2 days getting along fine. Today he's upset about who knows what and took it out on me. So I left the house for a while. My daugther told me he 'must be on his period'. What a great way to see it I'm not worried about it. He does do strange things when he's mad. Got mad about pizza so he turns the ac all the way do...

kheopsledaron · kheopsledaron

I haven't even looked at a single post here, I don't really know what this site is like. I just hope I can share stuff here that I've never told anyone and that maybe someone will understand. I don't fucken know..... So voila. I'm in my early 30s, I'm an ex opiate addict. I met a younger man who saved me f...

kamel2010 · kamel2010

Hello! I am not sure if this is the right place to post, but I am really concerned about my husband's drinking and need advice. For the last 3 years or so, my husband has become more of a drinker. I am not sure he is an alcoholic yet, (doesn't have the physical need) but he hides drinking from me, drinks more a...

Sangyaa · Sangyaa

Hi, My boyfriend got serious about recovery a few months ago (he has a big heroin problem, along with alcoholism when he isn't using H). He was going to daily meetings, only hanging out with sober people, had a great sponsor, and was on a suboxone maintenance program. He was also on prozac for depressio...

lyndebi · lyndebi

When my AH was wooing me, then we married, all we went thru with his brain surgery, my mothers cancer and death,I would never imagined I would be taking back my other name. I take in the last papers today. June 15, 10, the judge signs them. We were only married a small time, however we loved each other and we...

20sadyrs · 20sadyrs

I'm not even sure I've ever posted here, but have read and lurked off and on for a long time. At least let me say thanks for you guys, and for all the support here! So, here I am, and I feel like I'm reaching the breaking point in my marriage again. I've done a few months of Celebrate Recovery at church and al...

dimples · dimples

Hi guys. I will try to keep this brief and to the point. I do have a tendency to waffle. Last night I finally came to my senses and stopped denying the obvious. My partner has a drink problem and it is affecting my life as much as his. He was supposed to do the grocery shopping yesterday, but spent 5 hours and h...

peacewithin · peacewithin

I just wish I felt the peace within its been a long time with that too. I just have to get some things off my chest on here that has been keeping me up tonight. I feel like I'm weakened by the dreadfull sickness. I been married 32 yrs. That was normal when we meet coz I lived it . We always put our money together t...

Hopeless · Hopeless

Just found out from a trusted mutual friend that my A has been drinking = ( Mind you he brags to me how he hasn't had a drink in 42 days, which in his eyes means, "the program isn't for him, he can do it on his own".... I can't say I'm surprised but it still hurts none the less... This diease rea...

buick23 · buick23

So yesterday we both decided to stop arguing. We agreed we needed to get along if we are going to make this work. It was so easy to stop arguing and have been doing fine so far. We even had some small talk and finally had dinner together again. It feels so good. buick

Karilynn · Karilynn

((((Family))), As I listened to the sad news last night that the top kill method failed to stop the oil leak I couldn't help thinking about our MIP family members who live in that area. There are several that will be directly affected by this disaster, not to mention the ones who have yet to find their w...

Jennifer · Jennifer

Today I bought myself new dishes. Last time I bought new dishes was to give myself a boost of pretty cupboards after one of my xAH's relapses. I know it was an odd thing to do but as we all know, you do what you need to. Anyway today I noticed that as much as I like my dishes every time I use them that nagging lit...

Tracy · Tracy

Hi everyone one, I feel good. been down for couple of days but my slips do not seem to be lasting as long My A is of trying to fight the illness he had a slip 3 of days ago. He was very honest with me his sponsor rang and told me , he had been honest with his sponsor too. When my ABF did ring I told him I needed a bre...

Gailey · Gailey

I find myself not being able to stay in the moment. I keep waiting for things to change before I can be happy. I know that goes against all the teachings of Alanon. I cannot give up the "what ifs". What if he never gets sober? What if he never moves away from me? What if he doesn't pay his child sup...

Tracy · Tracy

Hi Everyone, I have not possed for abit been reading posts though. My ABf went into Aa a year ago. He was sober for 6 months he has been slipping on off for past 6 months always goes back to AA. A month ago had a bad slip for 3 weeks. Lost his best friend stole 15,00 from him. His kids turned their backs and I...

maire rua · maire rua

On friday after trusting my gut 100%, - first time ever I might add, I set off for an event in which I have invested a lot of time. My brother was supposed to come with me, but it all started to unravel last week, when I tried to firm up arrangements. He told me it was a long time off yet and that we would make arra...

barisax · barisax

I try to mostly work on my own honesty, and not obsess over others - i.e., is this person being honest or not. I found that in working with alcoholics, it's not really all that important to try and guess at everything they say and decide if it's true or not. The message is the same, my duty to pass on my expe...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

TO EVERYONE WHO READS THIS: I WANT TO TELL YOU ALL WHAT KIND OF SURGERY I AM HAVING SO IT WON'T LEAD TO MORE SPECULATION! I AM POSSIBLY GOING TO HAVE BREAST REDUCTION SURGERY SOON! IT HAS BEEN VERY HARD TO EXPLAIN THIS TO OTHERS BECAUSE IT IS A VERY DELICATE ISSUE FOR ME! BUT I WILL SOLDIER ON TO THE CONSULTA...

looking_for_peace · looking_for_peace

I am writing this when I am very upset. I just don't know what to do anymore. My AH came to the house tonight furious with me. He had been snooping through my stuff once again and found old journals from years ago. He told me that it was not normal to keep these journals (b/c I had written about how I felt abou...

brandy w · brandy w

I am not sure wherre to begin... Are any of us? I am the adult child of an alcoholic who married an alcoholic. I first noticed a problem with him after we were married a few weeks. I found the first hidden bottle. A really big almost empty one. That started the viscious circle for us. I would get mad he would p...

Cosmos · Cosmos

When I first came in Al-Anon exactly a month ago today I went believing it could help me to fix my relationship with my alcoholic girlfriend in recovery or at least fix her. Already during my first f2f meeting I realized that it was about me. Not us and not her. Ok. So I was under the influence of alcohol a...

cuteamy7 · cuteamy7

I told my A mom a couple of weeks ago that I need some time and she needs to start counceling again before I can talk with her. She's been verbally abusive to me for the past month and a half. She just called me twice today. I didn't answer. The msg she left was a lie about her conversation with my brother-I t...

df0309 · df0309

I have been reading the FAQ section and it says it is for dependents of alocholics. My husband is addicted to narcotics....I need some support b/c I'm driving myself crazy.

katfshh · katfshh

OK, so I was thinking that he was back on track. He was going to go back to work today. He is my fiance, he lives in another state. I have a trip planned and paid for to go there this coming Thursdsay. He sarted drinking last Monday night. (As I posted last week) From Wed on he sounded totally sober, and apolog...

Hopeless · Hopeless

The A has been relentless with me this weekend regarding wanting to borrow the car.. I've stuck to my guns by telling him no but he is not taking to it well, he is constantly calling asking... Now I know with having co dependency issues this is huge step for me but why do I feel so guilty?!?! Shouldn't I...

Not2bforgot10 · Not2bforgot10

I am wondering how many individuals here would consider themselves "dependent?" If you are not dependent now, have you ever been? How do you cope? Alternatively, how did you cope? Did you finally mature? I have a great problem relying on others for my happiness, and I tend to choose part...

Tattyhead · Tattyhead

My AH hasn't eaten any solid food now for over 4 weeks. He looks dreadful - skeletal and and awful grey colour. (Maybe tinged with yellow but that maybe because I'm watching for it). He ought to be hospitalised on a drip but the NHS (we're in UK), I have learnt, just doesn't do alcoholism. It appears to be a...

looking_for_peace · looking_for_peace

A lot happened this afternoon when I met with my AH, but at least we both stayed civil. Anyways...he has left me with a burning question... He said that if I want to save our marriage, loved him and the kids...then I will be willing to attend more Al-Anon meetings. He told me that this is the only way I will l...

buick23 · buick23

So since my last post we still have not had a talk, he's been spending most of his time away or outside. I have not complained about a thing. Last night we were supposed to have dinner together. Needless to say that did not happen. He came in to eat 2 hours after I ate. I hate to eat dinner alone. This morning I...

oldshrink · oldshrink

My adult son (22 years old) entered a 90 day treatment program a little over four months ago, across the country. He chose to go and has so far maintained sobriety. We are supporting him financially although he is sort of looking for a part time job (he has great difficulty following through on any tasks...

Not2bforgot10 · Not2bforgot10

I wanted to write because I am feeling really anxious right now. Tomorrow I am supposed to either take the train or rental car to Vermont (I am in Philly now living with my recent ex POA ("POA" is basically a past/present partner) and her father, paying a minimal amount of rent). I will be stay...

buick23 · buick23

So bf called me a stupid b**** a few days ago and am still hurt. After not talking for 2 days he tells me on a voicemail we need to talk when I get back home. I get home, no talk. I asked about it, he yells at me again. Told him today I mine as well find myself another place to live and he can stay here. Told him I don'...

Katekat · Katekat

I'm not sure where to start really... My Mum died on Monday, she was 64 and an alcoholic, she died of liver failure and I am so confused as I have no idea of how to feel? She has been an alcoholic all of my life I guess although as a kid I didn't notice as much but the problems got worse as I reached my teens, our re...

GailMichelle · GailMichelle

Hello Everyone: I was reading a post tonight started by soxfan. The topic was based on listening to your gut feelings. I followed through with what my gut told me to do today. It was terribly difficult. We're divorcing; I initiated it some time ago (around 3 years back). Since he has difficulty fol...

soxfan · soxfan

My A has been sober this time around for 2 weeks...he has been sober on and off since January. The benders only last a couple of days and then he comes around. Everytime he relapses i kick him out. His most recent relapse was mothers day and again he got the boot. His last use was that day. He wanted to c...

Holly09 · Holly09

I know my A boyfriends behavior is his own and I am supposed to focus on me and mind my own business but I'm having a hard time right now. The sneaking around the house hiding his alcohol and thinking I don't know what is going on (when he carries a bucket from the car to the shed so I can't see what is in it) is r...

cuteamy7 · cuteamy7

Are there any other adult kids of verbally abusive/negative alcoholic mothers out there? I have lots of issues. She is bringing up stuff from 25-30 yrs ago when I was a teen. Fights with her. Anger with my father right before divorce. Saying I shouldn't love him because she doesn't. Saying I hate her...

give me strength · give me strength

I have recently become sober -- 6 weeks--and I would like my husband to attend an Al-Anon meeting. I am not sure how he feels about going alone to a meeting. My father is a recovering alcoholic for 10 years, does that mean I can also attend with my husband? Thanks for your help.

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I am way ready for this feeling to end! I am still struggling but I will still survive! I have been determined to get past the stress & anxiety I have been facing for almost 4 weeks now. For those of you who have been following my posts, it is still just a sleep issue but sometimes more than that! I am anx...

Karilynn · Karilynn

(((((Family)))), Although to many this weekend is the official start of summer, let us remember the true meaning behind Memorial Day. May we pause for a moment to honor those who gave their lives in service to this country so that we are able to enjoy the family picnics, the ballgames and all that life h...

Searching for Peace · Searching for Peace

haven't logged on or posted in a long time, me and my ah have been working on putting our lives back together. things have improved with him and the twins, but the drinking hasn't stopped and some days he drinks more than usual. tonight he got mad because i choose to go watch our son play 7/7 football and...

mclaughlin73 · mclaughlin73

My need to be with someone right now is overwhelming. I feel so alone, and in my warped thinking, I feel I need to be in a relationship, or at the very least, have sex with someone to make myself feel better. Last night I called an old girlfriend, who came by and we had dinner. I knew where my mind was, thank go...

Allee · Allee

My husband has been sober for 24 years. However, due to a recent back injury a few years ago he became addicted to pain medication. Addiction is addiction regardless of the drug. The same ugly cycle started all over again, the lies, the bills not being paid, him not working, the irresponsibility. ...

lyndebi · lyndebi

Essgee sparked something for me. Yesterday I woke up feeling horrible. Very down, depressed, dreams about my dead husband, and mother etc. I physically feel ill. shakey. know I cannot be around people. Had a lovely NOT my disablility symptom happen. My head just cannot soften anything. Why am I even...

seekingserenity · seekingserenity

A little over 5 years ago I fell in love. Come to find out one of "her" favorite words is freedom. I thought that it applied for the step I was taking in my life so I too adopted it as my favorite word. Every time, I said it, typed it, thought about it. I smiled. My heart felt happy cause it reminded...

katfshh · katfshh

I reunited with an old boyfriend in Jan of this year. He was sober for 5 years, then started drinking again. Then this time he was sober for a year. He was going to AA meetings every day. Has a sponser. He told me how bad he needs to stay sober and how much he has been through. And how committed to his sobrie...

zhotdogs99 · zhotdogs99

My A-fiance is so good at telling me what I want to hear, especially when I'm so upset and he can see that I'm thinking about my future and my choices. How did he get to be so good at this? He tells me he loves me more than anything, that he doesn't like who he is, that he knows he needs to stop, that he's so grat...

Mandy123 · Mandy123

Hi all, AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! lol I fell better now. Boy has it been a day and some of it my own making and some I don't know. I have posted before about the ex boyfriend. Was an "A" in recovery and then relapsed in April and that is when things ended for us. Well at the end of A...

White Rabbit · White Rabbit

For anyone that is in al-anon that has either been in AA first or gotten there afterward ... how do you know if your own alcohol consumption is a problem?

mclaughlin73 · mclaughlin73

Friends, I first want to say that I am so grateful for all the responses and welcomes to this website. My hope and steadfastness increased tremendously as I read each reply and message I got. Thank you very much, I can't explain how much I appreciate you all and this website. This awareness is so new to me...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	New to site and my "A" just entered rehab 2 days ago (Preview) Im scared and lonely. In alot of ways I think that my "A" has become my addiction. I would call constantly to make sure he was ok. I saw a post on here where someone said you cant " love it out of them ". Thats exactly what I have tried to do over the years, that and " Yell it out of him...	kablisnow	7	856	Jun 5, 2010 by FreeToBMe
	Really Really tired (Preview) Tonight I'm just really really tired. My A has been "sober" for 60 days but tonight I found a receipt (I was not snooping, it was on the coffee table and I was cleaning) for the day after his 60th day. He's been really nasty to me lately, he's not working, and now this. I saw the receipt and to...	Independence76	8	571	Jun 4, 2010 by Independence76
	News From Jerry F (Preview) To All MIP Members: As some of you might have noticed Jerry F has not posted on MIP in almost a week. I'll be honest I was getting a little concerned. I just received a phone call from him explaining that he had computer problems and it could be another week before the problem can be corrected. He wanted me t...	RLC	18	915	Jun 4, 2010 by Christy
	the need to be right (Preview) I had to go to the emergency room over the holiday for an infection that just came up out of nowhere. I went alone and I didn't actually find it that stressful. During my relationship with the ex A I had to go to the emergency room twice. Both times he absolutely did not want to go and I delayed going becaus...	maresie	11	1012	Jun 4, 2010 by JanieB
	Priorities verses Time verse Ticked (Preview) Hello MIP Family :) Sorry been Gone awhile... Wish I could add Some excuse here but there really isn't one, just not on as much I suppose... Change in the weather finally got warm enough for me to move around, but it also left me Wide Open, to resort back to old ways... I Sooo can't wait to get to a FTF This Sun...	Jozie	2	1029	Jun 4, 2010 by hotrod
	Unhealthy Behaviors (Preview) Are the result of unhealthy situations... Whether they were in our childhood or later in life, I have found if I am behaving in an unhealthy way I need to address that, but I also need to address the situation I am in. As I was going through life many years into my recovery I noticed that around healthy peop...	AGO	4	892	Jun 4, 2010 by JanieB
	Working the program "in all our affairs" (Preview) I'm realizing more and more that although I may have gotten rid of the proverbial "monkey" on my back in relation to asking for a divorce from my AH, I still get to apply the Al-Anon program in so many aspects of my life. I know when we've gone our separate ways and we're no longer living togethe...	Aloha	2	1797	Jun 4, 2010 by JanieB
	hitting bottom. (Preview) I tend to view anything an alcoholic/addict does as a direct affront to me. The ex A's spiral downward was very very hard for me to deal with and still can find me in a froth of resentment, rage and astonishment. i can stay there for a long time and never get back to the business of moving on with my life. F...	maresie	6	1200	Jun 4, 2010 by Ness
	I FEEL BETTER! (Preview) THANKS TO ALL WHO POSTED ABOUT MY BR! THERE IS MORE TO IT THAN I AM SHARING--I HAVE MORE TRUST ISSUES. I GUESS SOME THINGS ARE BETTER LEFT UNSAID! I CAN SEE THAT A LOT OF US SUFFER WHEN WE DON'T NEED TO. I PERSONALLY HAVE SUFFERED PHYSICALLY & MENTALLY FOR SO MANY YEARS THAT THE THOUGHT OF TAKING CARE OF...	Hoot Nanny	1	571	Jun 4, 2010 by Karilynn
	I thought it was hitting bottom (Preview) I found out last week that my ah slept with a co-worker. A woman that I had invited into my home. Things have been bad between us for so long, but I never thought this would happen. He kept saying he would stop drinking. I am devastated, but the only shred of hope i had was that he had hit bottom. I was wro...	aredhead	8	592	Jun 4, 2010 by tlcate
	made it 2 days (Preview) So 2 days getting along fine. Today he's upset about who knows what and took it out on me. So I left the house for a while. My daugther told me he 'must be on his period'. What a great way to see it I'm not worried about it. He does do strange things when he's mad. Got mad about pizza so he turns the ac all the way do...	buick23	5	649	Jun 4, 2010 by pineapple
	Feeling desperate, stupid and hopeless (Preview) I haven't even looked at a single post here, I don't really know what this site is like. I just hope I can share stuff here that I've never told anyone and that maybe someone will understand. I don't fucken know..... So voila. I'm in my early 30s, I'm an ex opiate addict. I met a younger man who saved me f...	kheopsledaron	2	2610	Jun 3, 2010 by hotrod
	New here..need advice (Preview) Hello! I am not sure if this is the right place to post, but I am really concerned about my husband's drinking and need advice. For the last 3 years or so, my husband has become more of a drinker. I am not sure he is an alcoholic yet, (doesn't have the physical need) but he hides drinking from me, drinks more a...	kamel2010	7	808	Jun 3, 2010 by kablisnow
	To confront, or not to confront? (Preview) Hi, My boyfriend got serious about recovery a few months ago (he has a big heroin problem, along with alcoholism when he isn't using H). He was going to daily meetings, only hanging out with sober people, had a great sponsor, and was on a suboxone maintenance program. He was also on prozac for depressio...	Sangyaa	3	850	Jun 3, 2010 by soxfan
	almost final (Preview) When my AH was wooing me, then we married, all we went thru with his brain surgery, my mothers cancer and death,I would never imagined I would be taking back my other name. I take in the last papers today. June 15, 10, the judge signs them. We were only married a small time, however we loved each other and we...	lyndebi	6	654	Jun 3, 2010 by maresie
	Back after a couple years (Preview) I'm not even sure I've ever posted here, but have read and lurked off and on for a long time. At least let me say thanks for you guys, and for all the support here! So, here I am, and I feel like I'm reaching the breaking point in my marriage again. I've done a few months of Celebrate Recovery at church and al...	20sadyrs	5	1048	Jun 3, 2010 by maresie
	Time to wake up and smell the alcohol (Preview) Hi guys. I will try to keep this brief and to the point. I do have a tendency to waffle. Last night I finally came to my senses and stopped denying the obvious. My partner has a drink problem and it is affecting my life as much as his. He was supposed to do the grocery shopping yesterday, but spent 5 hours and h...	dimples	4	520	Jun 3, 2010 by dimples
	Been a loooong time for me comming here (Preview) I just wish I felt the peace within its been a long time with that too. I just have to get some things off my chest on here that has been keeping me up tonight. I feel like I'm weakened by the dreadfull sickness. I been married 32 yrs. That was normal when we meet coz I lived it . We always put our money together t...	peacewithin	3	642	Jun 3, 2010 by maresie
	Blah = ( (Preview) Just found out from a trusted mutual friend that my A has been drinking = ( Mind you he brags to me how he hasn't had a drink in 42 days, which in his eyes means, "the program isn't for him, he can do it on his own".... I can't say I'm surprised but it still hurts none the less... This diease rea...	Hopeless	16	1195	Jun 3, 2010 by tlcate
	getting along again (Preview) So yesterday we both decided to stop arguing. We agreed we needed to get along if we are going to make this work. It was so easy to stop arguing and have been doing fine so far. We even had some small talk and finally had dinner together again. It feels so good. buick	buick23	4	557	Jun 3, 2010 by buick23
	Prayers for our MIP family members in the Gulf (Preview) ((((Family))), As I listened to the sad news last night that the top kill method failed to stop the oil leak I couldn't help thinking about our MIP family members who live in that area. There are several that will be directly affected by this disaster, not to mention the ones who have yet to find their w...	Karilynn	2	612	Jun 3, 2010 by Rita G
	New dishes (Preview) Today I bought myself new dishes. Last time I bought new dishes was to give myself a boost of pretty cupboards after one of my xAH's relapses. I know it was an odd thing to do but as we all know, you do what you need to. Anyway today I noticed that as much as I like my dishes every time I use them that nagging lit...	Jennifer	8	826	Jun 2, 2010 by Jennifer
	must be improving (Preview) Hi everyone one, I feel good. been down for couple of days but my slips do not seem to be lasting as long My A is of trying to fight the illness he had a slip 3 of days ago. He was very honest with me his sponsor rang and told me , he had been honest with his sponsor too. When my ABF did ring I told him I needed a bre...	Tracy	2	461	Jun 2, 2010 by Mandy123
	still living for the future (Preview) I find myself not being able to stay in the moment. I keep waiting for things to change before I can be happy. I know that goes against all the teachings of Alanon. I cannot give up the "what ifs". What if he never gets sober? What if he never moves away from me? What if he doesn't pay his child sup...	Gailey	7	757	Jun 2, 2010 by maresie
	I don't like reality (Preview) Hi Everyone, I have not possed for abit been reading posts though. My ABf went into Aa a year ago. He was sober for 6 months he has been slipping on off for past 6 months always goes back to AA. A month ago had a bad slip for 3 weeks. Lost his best friend stole 15,00 from him. His kids turned their backs and I...	Tracy	5	762	Jun 2, 2010 by maresie
	My A-Family - totally unreliable (Preview) On friday after trusting my gut 100%, - first time ever I might add, I set off for an event in which I have invested a lot of time. My brother was supposed to come with me, but it all started to unravel last week, when I tried to firm up arrangements. He told me it was a long time off yet and that we would make arra...	maire rua	5	762	Jun 2, 2010 by idontknow
	Honesty (Preview) I try to mostly work on my own honesty, and not obsess over others - i.e., is this person being honest or not. I found that in working with alcoholics, it's not really all that important to try and guess at everything they say and decide if it's true or not. The message is the same, my duty to pass on my expe...	barisax	10	1043	Jun 2, 2010 by Rita G
	I MIGHT AS WELL SPIT IT OUT! (Preview) TO EVERYONE WHO READS THIS: I WANT TO TELL YOU ALL WHAT KIND OF SURGERY I AM HAVING SO IT WON'T LEAD TO MORE SPECULATION! I AM POSSIBLY GOING TO HAVE BREAST REDUCTION SURGERY SOON! IT HAS BEEN VERY HARD TO EXPLAIN THIS TO OTHERS BECAUSE IT IS A VERY DELICATE ISSUE FOR ME! BUT I WILL SOLDIER ON TO THE CONSULTA...	Hoot Nanny	11	850	Jun 2, 2010 by buick23
	Please hear me out...(long...also about clonazepam) (Preview) I am writing this when I am very upset. I just don't know what to do anymore. My AH came to the house tonight furious with me. He had been snooping through my stuff once again and found old journals from years ago. He told me that it was not normal to keep these journals (b/c I had written about how I felt abou...	looking_for_peace	5	585	Jun 1, 2010 by Rocky38
	Alone (Preview) I am not sure wherre to begin... Are any of us? I am the adult child of an alcoholic who married an alcoholic. I first noticed a problem with him after we were married a few weeks. I found the first hidden bottle. A really big almost empty one. That started the viscious circle for us. I would get mad he would p...	brandy w	8	833	Jun 1, 2010 by brandy w
	I have been like this for a long time (Preview) When I first came in Al-Anon exactly a month ago today I went believing it could help me to fix my relationship with my alcoholic girlfriend in recovery or at least fix her. Already during my first f2f meeting I realized that it was about me. Not us and not her. Ok. So I was under the influence of alcohol a...	Cosmos	3	1164	Jun 1, 2010 by maresie
	Still Need Time (Preview) I told my A mom a couple of weeks ago that I need some time and she needs to start counceling again before I can talk with her. She's been verbally abusive to me for the past month and a half. She just called me twice today. I didn't answer. The msg she left was a lie about her conversation with my brother-I t...	cuteamy7	5	637	Jun 1, 2010 by cuteamy7
	Is this the place for me? (Preview) I have been reading the FAQ section and it says it is for dependents of alocholics. My husband is addicted to narcotics....I need some support b/c I'm driving myself crazy.	df0309	4	636	Jun 1, 2010 by Karilynn
	Lies, now he is in Jail! ugh (Preview) OK, so I was thinking that he was back on track. He was going to go back to work today. He is my fiance, he lives in another state. I have a trip planned and paid for to go there this coming Thursdsay. He sarted drinking last Monday night. (As I posted last week) From Wed on he sounded totally sober, and apolog...	katfshh	19	1075	May 31, 2010 by Independence76
	Feeling Guilty??? (Preview) The A has been relentless with me this weekend regarding wanting to borrow the car.. I've stuck to my guns by telling him no but he is not taking to it well, he is constantly calling asking... Now I know with having co dependency issues this is huge step for me but why do I feel so guilty?!?! Shouldn't I...	Hopeless	11	985	May 31, 2010 by Independence76
	Codependency Recovery codependence dependence grief maturity emotional sobriety (Preview) I am wondering how many individuals here would consider themselves "dependent?" If you are not dependent now, have you ever been? How do you cope? Alternatively, how did you cope? Did you finally mature? I have a great problem relying on others for my happiness, and I tend to choose part...	Not2bforgot10	5	6659	May 31, 2010 by Bettina
	Just venting (Preview) My AH hasn't eaten any solid food now for over 4 weeks. He looks dreadful - skeletal and and awful grey colour. (Maybe tinged with yellow but that maybe because I'm watching for it). He ought to be hospitalised on a drip but the NHS (we're in UK), I have learnt, just doesn't do alcoholism. It appears to be a...	Tattyhead	7	1113	May 31, 2010 by Ness
	How many meetings are expected? (Preview) A lot happened this afternoon when I met with my AH, but at least we both stayed civil. Anyways...he has left me with a burning question... He said that if I want to save our marriage, loved him and the kids...then I will be willing to attend more Al-Anon meetings. He told me that this is the only way I will l...	looking_for_peace	5	939	May 31, 2010 by Jennifer
	update (Preview) So since my last post we still have not had a talk, he's been spending most of his time away or outside. I have not complained about a thing. Last night we were supposed to have dinner together. Needless to say that did not happen. He came in to eat 2 hours after I ate. I hate to eat dinner alone. This morning I...	buick23	1	497	May 31, 2010 by lyndebi
	Dealing with Adult Son in Recovery (Preview) My adult son (22 years old) entered a 90 day treatment program a little over four months ago, across the country. He chose to go and has so far maintained sobriety. We are supporting him financially although he is sort of looking for a part time job (he has great difficulty following through on any tasks...	oldshrink	2	765	May 31, 2010 by Ness
	How do I learn to love and nurture myself? fear grief change transition dependency self-nurturing (Preview) I wanted to write because I am feeling really anxious right now. Tomorrow I am supposed to either take the train or rental car to Vermont (I am in Philly now living with my recent ex POA ("POA" is basically a past/present partner) and her father, paying a minimal amount of rent). I will be stay...	Not2bforgot10	5	7625	May 30, 2010 by kitty
	venting (Preview) So bf called me a stupid b**** a few days ago and am still hurt. After not talking for 2 days he tells me on a voicemail we need to talk when I get back home. I get home, no talk. I asked about it, he yells at me again. Told him today I mine as well find myself another place to live and he can stay here. Told him I don'...	buick23	3	564	May 30, 2010 by RLC
	New to all of this... (Preview) I'm not sure where to start really... My Mum died on Monday, she was 64 and an alcoholic, she died of liver failure and I am so confused as I have no idea of how to feel? She has been an alcoholic all of my life I guess although as a kid I didn't notice as much but the problems got worse as I reached my teens, our re...	Katekat	10	814	May 30, 2010 by Katekat
	Listening to Thy Gut (Preview) Hello Everyone: I was reading a post tonight started by soxfan. The topic was based on listening to your gut feelings. I followed through with what my gut told me to do today. It was terribly difficult. We're divorcing; I initiated it some time ago (around 3 years back). Since he has difficulty fol...	GailMichelle	4	835	May 30, 2010 by GailMichelle
	Good choice or Bad choice??? (Preview) My A has been sober this time around for 2 weeks...he has been sober on and off since January. The benders only last a couple of days and then he comes around. Everytime he relapses i kick him out. His most recent relapse was mothers day and again he got the boot. His last use was that day. He wanted to c...	soxfan	7	903	May 30, 2010 by soxfan
	just irritated and know better (Preview) I know my A boyfriends behavior is his own and I am supposed to focus on me and mind my own business but I'm having a hard time right now. The sneaking around the house hiding his alcohol and thinking I don't know what is going on (when he carries a bucket from the car to the shed so I can't see what is in it) is r...	Holly09	2	643	May 30, 2010 by Karilynn
	1st Post-Verbal Stress from Mom (Preview) Are there any other adult kids of verbally abusive/negative alcoholic mothers out there? I have lots of issues. She is bringing up stuff from 25-30 yrs ago when I was a teen. Fights with her. Anger with my father right before divorce. Saying I shouldn't love him because she doesn't. Saying I hate her...	cuteamy7	4	858	May 29, 2010 by RLC
	Who can attend Al-Anon meetings? (Preview) I have recently become sober -- 6 weeks--and I would like my husband to attend an Al-Anon meeting. I am not sure how he feels about going alone to a meeting. My father is a recovering alcoholic for 10 years, does that mean I can also attend with my husband? Thanks for your help.	give me strength	2	843	May 29, 2010 by abbyal
	I AM DETERMINED--IT IS GONNA END! (Preview) I am way ready for this feeling to end! I am still struggling but I will still survive! I have been determined to get past the stress & anxiety I have been facing for almost 4 weeks now. For those of you who have been following my posts, it is still just a sleep issue but sometimes more than that! I am anx...	Hoot Nanny	4	814	May 29, 2010 by Jennifer
	Memorial Day (Preview) (((((Family)))), Although to many this weekend is the official start of summer, let us remember the true meaning behind Memorial Day. May we pause for a moment to honor those who gave their lives in service to this country so that we are able to enjoy the family picnics, the ballgames and all that life h...	Karilynn	1	545	May 29, 2010 by RLC
	Here we go again.... (Preview) haven't logged on or posted in a long time, me and my ah have been working on putting our lives back together. things have improved with him and the twins, but the drinking hasn't stopped and some days he drinks more than usual. tonight he got mad because i choose to go watch our son play 7/7 football and...	Searching for Peace	5	791	May 28, 2010 by tlcate
	Ugh, mornings are rough... (Preview) My need to be with someone right now is overwhelming. I feel so alone, and in my warped thinking, I feel I need to be in a relationship, or at the very least, have sex with someone to make myself feel better. Last night I called an old girlfriend, who came by and we had dinner. I knew where my mind was, thank go...	mclaughlin73	7	787	May 28, 2010 by Mandy123
	Second Chance ? (Preview) My husband has been sober for 24 years. However, due to a recent back injury a few years ago he became addicted to pain medication. Addiction is addiction regardless of the drug. The same ugly cycle started all over again, the lies, the bills not being paid, him not working, the irresponsibility. ...	Allee	2	891	May 28, 2010 by Allee
	I am two people (Preview) Essgee sparked something for me. Yesterday I woke up feeling horrible. Very down, depressed, dreams about my dead husband, and mother etc. I physically feel ill. shakey. know I cannot be around people. Had a lovely NOT my disablility symptom happen. My head just cannot soften anything. Why am I even...	lyndebi	12	867	May 28, 2010 by lyndebi
	FREEDOM (Preview) A little over 5 years ago I fell in love. Come to find out one of "her" favorite words is freedom. I thought that it applied for the step I was taking in my life so I too adopted it as my favorite word. Every time, I said it, typed it, thought about it. I smiled. My heart felt happy cause it reminded...	seekingserenity	1	926	May 27, 2010 by Jerry F
	New here, can't stop crying (Preview) I reunited with an old boyfriend in Jan of this year. He was sober for 5 years, then started drinking again. Then this time he was sober for a year. He was going to AA meetings every day. Has a sponser. He told me how bad he needs to stay sober and how much he has been through. And how committed to his sobrie...	katfshh	13	1021	May 27, 2010 by katfshh
	For the first time I stopped hearing my A and instead heard the quacking! (Preview) My A-fiance is so good at telling me what I want to hear, especially when I'm so upset and he can see that I'm thinking about my future and my choices. How did he get to be so good at this? He tells me he loves me more than anything, that he doesn't like who he is, that he knows he needs to stop, that he's so grat...	zhotdogs99	9	890	May 27, 2010 by Aloha
	Manipulations (Preview) Hi all, AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! lol I fell better now. Boy has it been a day and some of it my own making and some I don't know. I have posted before about the ex boyfriend. Was an "A" in recovery and then relapsed in April and that is when things ended for us. Well at the end of A...	Mandy123	7	831	May 27, 2010 by maresie
	Double winners question (Preview) For anyone that is in al-anon that has either been in AA first or gotten there afterward ... how do you know if your own alcohol consumption is a problem?	White Rabbit	8	1604	May 27, 2010 by barisax
	Need wisdom and experience (Preview) Friends, I first want to say that I am so grateful for all the responses and welcomes to this website. My hope and steadfastness increased tremendously as I read each reply and message I got. Thank you very much, I can't explain how much I appreciate you all and this website. This awareness is so new to me...	mclaughlin73	9	869	May 27, 2010 by kitty
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.