Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

White Rabbit · White Rabbit

Sometimes it's still pretty hard for me not to take on other people's moods. I have to really remind myself that just because someone else is grumpy and stressed, I don't need to be grumpy and stressed. I'm still working on this, though - today I had lunch with my husband and started to let his bad mood b...

smartkat · smartkat

(My mother is not computer saavy so I am posting this for her & will give her the results) My SIL got mad at my mother in the parking lot of McDonalds, yelling obsenities. Then when my mother quietly drove away, my SIL got into the car and followed her, bumping her car on purpose when my mother stopped a...

maire rua · maire rua

ex- a is annoying the hell out of me, constantly looking for attention, though it was a handy arrangement for a while, I think my time of putting up with him is done, he is starting to encroach on my boundaries so that is not acceptable. I will deal with it when calm though not while reactive, I find that my s...

scooternooch · scooternooch

Hi everyone. I will make this as short as possible. I have been working w/ my best friend of 32 years in an office setting for the last 2 years. She is the manager, I am the asst manager. it is just the 2 of us most of the time. Our supervisior visits occasionally. My friend has a prescription drug problem. I h...

Hopeless · Hopeless

This is stemming from a previous post of mine... People were trying to explain to me that an A does NOT have choice when it comes down to picking up the bottle... I don't understand this and when it was explained to me I found a lot of contradictions! I see this situation differently I feel they have a...

zhotdogs99 · zhotdogs99

I've been thinking about leaving my A fiance seriously for the last five weeks. I feel as though I've been on this sinking ship with him, and he's stuck underneath something, and I'm getting to the point where I have to decide whether to stay with him and go down, or jump off and swim to safety and sanit...

tlcate · tlcate

I haven't been around much the last 30 days or so and have missed my family here. Had a big business trip, buying my first house, and daughter just graduated. All very good things that have taken a lot of my focus. Just do the next right thing! I have been lurking, a lot from my phone, so you are here with m...

Linda Papin · Linda Papin

Hello John, to all my precious friends Thank you John for your invitation, the timing was very good. I am doing well since I posted the last time. It does not mean that life is perfect of course, it means that my coping skills have become better. I am still working on them and as long as I live, I am learni...

kablisnow · kablisnow

today i started to work towards my recovery. my husband entered rehab 4 days ago and I have really wanted to focus on getting better myself. so far i love the book and i have already learned so much. thnx to everyone who recommended it.

Tracy · Tracy

Hi Everyone, my A had a little slip about a week ago he bought 8 cans of beer and drank one. Spent all night in the flat alone fighting the urge to drink his AA head will no longer let him try and escape through drink. He was honest with me and his sponsor. I told him I needed a break. I had said after the last...

Cosmos · Cosmos

Hi I have been much better since my "crisis again" post I started here a few days ago. I think the reality is catching up with me. Me and my alcoholic ex/girlfriend used to talk on Skype in the past and sometimes chat. Today I opened Skype and looked at some of our old conversations. I was sh...

Sheila46 · Sheila46

I have posted here a couple of times in the past. My A boyfriend is a binge drinker. I travel frequently for work and that is when he tends to drink the majority of the time. The past 6 months I have been dealing with my adult daughter making some bad choices. She has a tendency to get angry and threatens...

Courage · Courage

Opening with the Serenity Prayer AM Mon. - Shimo Tues. - Doxie Wed. - Iona Thurs. - Doxie Fri. - Blendergirl Sat. - Mandy123 Sun. Spiritual - aunitedway PM Mon. - aunitedway Tues. - kerisha Wed. - kerisha Thurs. Step/Trad - courage Fri. - aunitedway Sat. Beginners - courage Sun...

nigel3 · nigel3

**Dear moderators: This thread has been posted with John's permission. If you have any questions, please contact John. Thanks! :)** Hello everyone, and thank you for reading this post. Many thanks also to those of you who have responded with messages of support and/or donated to my cause! My name is...

kerry5 · kerry5

Would appriciate someone chairing Sunday i wont be able to make it Thanks Kerry

Holly09 · Holly09

My a boyfriend and I got into a huge fight that started over my 15yr old son being diagnosed with Oppositional Defiance Disorder and the fact that my boyfriend (not my son's real dad) doesn't believe it exists so I feel he gives me no support that is how are fight started, it ended up with him once again tel...

Karilynn · Karilynn

(((((Family)))), Just wanted to wish you all a HAPPY NATIONAL DONUT DAY! WOOHOO! I did not know this until I decided to treat myself this morning to a cup of coffee & a donut while I ran errands. I walked into the donut Shop and they gave me a free one. I asked them what was the occasion and they said it w...

Cosmos · Cosmos

Hi I have been writing here earlier about my ex-girlfriend who is in recovery and how we have had no contact. Today she phoned me and was absolutely out of it. She had been doing well in most of her life except from with money. I went over to her to help her out with her finances and see where she had gone wron...

Ness · Ness

I heard the news today that my son has been given a deferred sentence. His solicitor and the judge believe he is sick not bad. Alcoholics are so often treated as the lowest of the low and the disease so misunderstood that I was prepared to hear the worst.I wasn''t invited to join the melee which shows me t...

kablisnow · kablisnow

Im scared and lonely. In alot of ways I think that my "A" has become my addiction. I would call constantly to make sure he was ok. I saw a post on here where someone said you cant " love it out of them ". Thats exactly what I have tried to do over the years, that and " Yell it out of him...

Independence76 · Independence76

Tonight I'm just really really tired. My A has been "sober" for 60 days but tonight I found a receipt (I was not snooping, it was on the coffee table and I was cleaning) for the day after his 60th day. He's been really nasty to me lately, he's not working, and now this. I saw the receipt and to...

RLC · RLC

To All MIP Members: As some of you might have noticed Jerry F has not posted on MIP in almost a week. I'll be honest I was getting a little concerned. I just received a phone call from him explaining that he had computer problems and it could be another week before the problem can be corrected. He wanted me t...

maresie · maresie

I had to go to the emergency room over the holiday for an infection that just came up out of nowhere. I went alone and I didn't actually find it that stressful. During my relationship with the ex A I had to go to the emergency room twice. Both times he absolutely did not want to go and I delayed going becaus...

Jozie · Jozie

Hello MIP Family :) Sorry been Gone awhile... Wish I could add Some excuse here but there really isn't one, just not on as much I suppose... Change in the weather finally got warm enough for me to move around, but it also left me Wide Open, to resort back to old ways... I Sooo can't wait to get to a FTF This Sun...

AGO · AGO

Are the result of unhealthy situations... Whether they were in our childhood or later in life, I have found if I am behaving in an unhealthy way I need to address that, but I also need to address the situation I am in. As I was going through life many years into my recovery I noticed that around healthy peop...

Aloha · Aloha

I'm realizing more and more that although I may have gotten rid of the proverbial "monkey" on my back in relation to asking for a divorce from my AH, I still get to apply the Al-Anon program in so many aspects of my life. I know when we've gone our separate ways and we're no longer living togethe...

maresie · maresie

I tend to view anything an alcoholic/addict does as a direct affront to me. The ex A's spiral downward was very very hard for me to deal with and still can find me in a froth of resentment, rage and astonishment. i can stay there for a long time and never get back to the business of moving on with my life. F...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

THANKS TO ALL WHO POSTED ABOUT MY BR! THERE IS MORE TO IT THAN I AM SHARING--I HAVE MORE TRUST ISSUES. I GUESS SOME THINGS ARE BETTER LEFT UNSAID! I CAN SEE THAT A LOT OF US SUFFER WHEN WE DON'T NEED TO. I PERSONALLY HAVE SUFFERED PHYSICALLY & MENTALLY FOR SO MANY YEARS THAT THE THOUGHT OF TAKING CARE OF...

aredhead · aredhead

I found out last week that my ah slept with a co-worker. A woman that I had invited into my home. Things have been bad between us for so long, but I never thought this would happen. He kept saying he would stop drinking. I am devastated, but the only shred of hope i had was that he had hit bottom. I was wro...

buick23 · buick23

So 2 days getting along fine. Today he's upset about who knows what and took it out on me. So I left the house for a while. My daugther told me he 'must be on his period'. What a great way to see it I'm not worried about it. He does do strange things when he's mad. Got mad about pizza so he turns the ac all the way do...

kheopsledaron · kheopsledaron

I haven't even looked at a single post here, I don't really know what this site is like. I just hope I can share stuff here that I've never told anyone and that maybe someone will understand. I don't fucken know..... So voila. I'm in my early 30s, I'm an ex opiate addict. I met a younger man who saved me f...

kamel2010 · kamel2010

Hello! I am not sure if this is the right place to post, but I am really concerned about my husband's drinking and need advice. For the last 3 years or so, my husband has become more of a drinker. I am not sure he is an alcoholic yet, (doesn't have the physical need) but he hides drinking from me, drinks more a...

Sangyaa · Sangyaa

Hi, My boyfriend got serious about recovery a few months ago (he has a big heroin problem, along with alcoholism when he isn't using H). He was going to daily meetings, only hanging out with sober people, had a great sponsor, and was on a suboxone maintenance program. He was also on prozac for depressio...

lyndebi · lyndebi

When my AH was wooing me, then we married, all we went thru with his brain surgery, my mothers cancer and death,I would never imagined I would be taking back my other name. I take in the last papers today. June 15, 10, the judge signs them. We were only married a small time, however we loved each other and we...

20sadyrs · 20sadyrs

I'm not even sure I've ever posted here, but have read and lurked off and on for a long time. At least let me say thanks for you guys, and for all the support here! So, here I am, and I feel like I'm reaching the breaking point in my marriage again. I've done a few months of Celebrate Recovery at church and al...

dimples · dimples

Hi guys. I will try to keep this brief and to the point. I do have a tendency to waffle. Last night I finally came to my senses and stopped denying the obvious. My partner has a drink problem and it is affecting my life as much as his. He was supposed to do the grocery shopping yesterday, but spent 5 hours and h...

peacewithin · peacewithin

I just wish I felt the peace within its been a long time with that too. I just have to get some things off my chest on here that has been keeping me up tonight. I feel like I'm weakened by the dreadfull sickness. I been married 32 yrs. That was normal when we meet coz I lived it . We always put our money together t...

Hopeless · Hopeless

Just found out from a trusted mutual friend that my A has been drinking = ( Mind you he brags to me how he hasn't had a drink in 42 days, which in his eyes means, "the program isn't for him, he can do it on his own".... I can't say I'm surprised but it still hurts none the less... This diease rea...

buick23 · buick23

So yesterday we both decided to stop arguing. We agreed we needed to get along if we are going to make this work. It was so easy to stop arguing and have been doing fine so far. We even had some small talk and finally had dinner together again. It feels so good. buick

Karilynn · Karilynn

((((Family))), As I listened to the sad news last night that the top kill method failed to stop the oil leak I couldn't help thinking about our MIP family members who live in that area. There are several that will be directly affected by this disaster, not to mention the ones who have yet to find their w...

Jennifer · Jennifer

Today I bought myself new dishes. Last time I bought new dishes was to give myself a boost of pretty cupboards after one of my xAH's relapses. I know it was an odd thing to do but as we all know, you do what you need to. Anyway today I noticed that as much as I like my dishes every time I use them that nagging lit...

Tracy · Tracy

Hi everyone one, I feel good. been down for couple of days but my slips do not seem to be lasting as long My A is of trying to fight the illness he had a slip 3 of days ago. He was very honest with me his sponsor rang and told me , he had been honest with his sponsor too. When my ABF did ring I told him I needed a bre...

Gailey · Gailey

I find myself not being able to stay in the moment. I keep waiting for things to change before I can be happy. I know that goes against all the teachings of Alanon. I cannot give up the "what ifs". What if he never gets sober? What if he never moves away from me? What if he doesn't pay his child sup...

Tracy · Tracy

Hi Everyone, I have not possed for abit been reading posts though. My ABf went into Aa a year ago. He was sober for 6 months he has been slipping on off for past 6 months always goes back to AA. A month ago had a bad slip for 3 weeks. Lost his best friend stole 15,00 from him. His kids turned their backs and I...

maire rua · maire rua

On friday after trusting my gut 100%, - first time ever I might add, I set off for an event in which I have invested a lot of time. My brother was supposed to come with me, but it all started to unravel last week, when I tried to firm up arrangements. He told me it was a long time off yet and that we would make arra...

barisax · barisax

I try to mostly work on my own honesty, and not obsess over others - i.e., is this person being honest or not. I found that in working with alcoholics, it's not really all that important to try and guess at everything they say and decide if it's true or not. The message is the same, my duty to pass on my expe...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

TO EVERYONE WHO READS THIS: I WANT TO TELL YOU ALL WHAT KIND OF SURGERY I AM HAVING SO IT WON'T LEAD TO MORE SPECULATION! I AM POSSIBLY GOING TO HAVE BREAST REDUCTION SURGERY SOON! IT HAS BEEN VERY HARD TO EXPLAIN THIS TO OTHERS BECAUSE IT IS A VERY DELICATE ISSUE FOR ME! BUT I WILL SOLDIER ON TO THE CONSULTA...

looking_for_peace · looking_for_peace

I am writing this when I am very upset. I just don't know what to do anymore. My AH came to the house tonight furious with me. He had been snooping through my stuff once again and found old journals from years ago. He told me that it was not normal to keep these journals (b/c I had written about how I felt abou...

brandy w · brandy w

I am not sure wherre to begin... Are any of us? I am the adult child of an alcoholic who married an alcoholic. I first noticed a problem with him after we were married a few weeks. I found the first hidden bottle. A really big almost empty one. That started the viscious circle for us. I would get mad he would p...

Cosmos · Cosmos

When I first came in Al-Anon exactly a month ago today I went believing it could help me to fix my relationship with my alcoholic girlfriend in recovery or at least fix her. Already during my first f2f meeting I realized that it was about me. Not us and not her. Ok. So I was under the influence of alcohol a...

cuteamy7 · cuteamy7

I told my A mom a couple of weeks ago that I need some time and she needs to start counceling again before I can talk with her. She's been verbally abusive to me for the past month and a half. She just called me twice today. I didn't answer. The msg she left was a lie about her conversation with my brother-I t...

df0309 · df0309

I have been reading the FAQ section and it says it is for dependents of alocholics. My husband is addicted to narcotics....I need some support b/c I'm driving myself crazy.

katfshh · katfshh

OK, so I was thinking that he was back on track. He was going to go back to work today. He is my fiance, he lives in another state. I have a trip planned and paid for to go there this coming Thursdsay. He sarted drinking last Monday night. (As I posted last week) From Wed on he sounded totally sober, and apolog...

Hopeless · Hopeless

The A has been relentless with me this weekend regarding wanting to borrow the car.. I've stuck to my guns by telling him no but he is not taking to it well, he is constantly calling asking... Now I know with having co dependency issues this is huge step for me but why do I feel so guilty?!?! Shouldn't I...

Not2bforgot10 · Not2bforgot10

I am wondering how many individuals here would consider themselves "dependent?" If you are not dependent now, have you ever been? How do you cope? Alternatively, how did you cope? Did you finally mature? I have a great problem relying on others for my happiness, and I tend to choose part...

Tattyhead · Tattyhead

My AH hasn't eaten any solid food now for over 4 weeks. He looks dreadful - skeletal and and awful grey colour. (Maybe tinged with yellow but that maybe because I'm watching for it). He ought to be hospitalised on a drip but the NHS (we're in UK), I have learnt, just doesn't do alcoholism. It appears to be a...

looking_for_peace · looking_for_peace

A lot happened this afternoon when I met with my AH, but at least we both stayed civil. Anyways...he has left me with a burning question... He said that if I want to save our marriage, loved him and the kids...then I will be willing to attend more Al-Anon meetings. He told me that this is the only way I will l...

buick23 · buick23

So since my last post we still have not had a talk, he's been spending most of his time away or outside. I have not complained about a thing. Last night we were supposed to have dinner together. Needless to say that did not happen. He came in to eat 2 hours after I ate. I hate to eat dinner alone. This morning I...

oldshrink · oldshrink

My adult son (22 years old) entered a 90 day treatment program a little over four months ago, across the country. He chose to go and has so far maintained sobriety. We are supporting him financially although he is sort of looking for a part time job (he has great difficulty following through on any tasks...

Not2bforgot10 · Not2bforgot10

I wanted to write because I am feeling really anxious right now. Tomorrow I am supposed to either take the train or rental car to Vermont (I am in Philly now living with my recent ex POA ("POA" is basically a past/present partner) and her father, paying a minimal amount of rent). I will be stay...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Takin' on other people's moods (Preview) Sometimes it's still pretty hard for me not to take on other people's moods. I have to really remind myself that just because someone else is grumpy and stressed, I don't need to be grumpy and stressed. I'm still working on this, though - today I had lunch with my husband and started to let his bad mood b...	White Rabbit	2	832	Jun 7, 2010 by hotrod
	When to press charges? charges verbal abuse (Preview) (My mother is not computer saavy so I am posting this for her & will give her the results) My SIL got mad at my mother in the parking lot of McDonalds, yelling obsenities. Then when my mother quietly drove away, my SIL got into the car and followed her, bumping her car on purpose when my mother stopped a...	smartkat	5	3227	Jun 7, 2010 by Jennifer
	sick and tired of ex-a (Preview) ex- a is annoying the hell out of me, constantly looking for attention, though it was a handy arrangement for a while, I think my time of putting up with him is done, he is starting to encroach on my boundaries so that is not acceptable. I will deal with it when calm though not while reactive, I find that my s...	maire rua	2	655	Jun 7, 2010 by maresie
	new here, need advise (Preview) Hi everyone. I will make this as short as possible. I have been working w/ my best friend of 32 years in an office setting for the last 2 years. She is the manager, I am the asst manager. it is just the 2 of us most of the time. Our supervisior visits occasionally. My friend has a prescription drug problem. I h...	scooternooch	6	999	Jun 7, 2010 by c1grace
	The Power Of Choice.. (Preview) This is stemming from a previous post of mine... People were trying to explain to me that an A does NOT have choice when it comes down to picking up the bottle... I don't understand this and when it was explained to me I found a lot of contradictions! I see this situation differently I feel they have a...	Hopeless	9	765	Jun 7, 2010 by Hopeless
	Planning to leave but need help figuring some things out (Preview) I've been thinking about leaving my A fiance seriously for the last five weeks. I feel as though I've been on this sinking ship with him, and he's stuck underneath something, and I'm getting to the point where I have to decide whether to stay with him and go down, or jump off and swim to safety and sanit...	zhotdogs99	6	954	Jun 7, 2010 by DT1221
	Proud Momma (Preview) I haven't been around much the last 30 days or so and have missed my family here. Had a big business trip, buying my first house, and daughter just graduated. All very good things that have taken a lot of my focus. Just do the next right thing! I have been lurking, a lot from my phone, so you are here with m...	tlcate	6	824	Jun 7, 2010 by Sweet Stanley
	I am grateful, more than ever!! (Preview) Hello John, to all my precious friends Thank you John for your invitation, the timing was very good. I am doing well since I posted the last time. It does not mean that life is perfect of course, it means that my coping skills have become better. I am still working on them and as long as I live, I am learni...	Linda Papin	0	450	Jun 7, 2010 by Linda Papin
	Bought the book " getting them sober " today (Preview) today i started to work towards my recovery. my husband entered rehab 4 days ago and I have really wanted to focus on getting better myself. so far i love the book and i have already learned so much. thnx to everyone who recommended it.	kablisnow	3	743	Jun 7, 2010 by afglin
	It's Me (Preview) Hi Everyone, my A had a little slip about a week ago he bought 8 cans of beer and drank one. Spent all night in the flat alone fighting the urge to drink his AA head will no longer let him try and escape through drink. He was honest with me and his sponsor. I told him I needed a break. I had said after the last...	Tracy	2	643	Jun 7, 2010 by afglin
	New evidence from the past (Preview) Hi I have been much better since my "crisis again" post I started here a few days ago. I think the reality is catching up with me. Me and my alcoholic ex/girlfriend used to talk on Skype in the past and sometimes chat. Today I opened Skype and looked at some of our old conversations. I was sh...	Cosmos	6	902	Jun 6, 2010 by sdisnie
	Here we go again..... (Preview) I have posted here a couple of times in the past. My A boyfriend is a binge drinker. I travel frequently for work and that is when he tends to drink the majority of the time. The past 6 months I have been dealing with my adult daughter making some bad choices. She has a tendency to get angry and threatens...	Sheila46	8	916	Jun 6, 2010 by JimmyX
	June Chat Room Business Meeting Agenda (Preview) Opening with the Serenity Prayer AM Mon. - Shimo Tues. - Doxie Wed. - Iona Thurs. - Doxie Fri. - Blendergirl Sat. - Mandy123 Sun. Spiritual - aunitedway PM Mon. - aunitedway Tues. - kerisha Wed. - kerisha Thurs. Step/Trad - courage Fri. - aunitedway Sat. Beginners - courage Sun...	Courage	0	467	Jun 6, 2010 by Courage
	Kindness of stranger update (Preview) Dear moderators: This thread has been posted with John's permission. If you have any questions, please contact John. Thanks! :) Hello everyone, and thank you for reading this post. Many thanks also to those of you who have responded with messages of support and/or donated to my cause! My name is...	nigel3	3	820	Jun 5, 2010 by nigel3
	Need Chair for Sunday &7pm meeting June 6th 2010 (Preview) Would appriciate someone chairing Sunday i wont be able to make it Thanks Kerry	kerry5	0	284	Jun 5, 2010 by kerry5
	what a horrible day today has been (Preview) My a boyfriend and I got into a huge fight that started over my 15yr old son being diagnosed with Oppositional Defiance Disorder and the fact that my boyfriend (not my son's real dad) doesn't believe it exists so I feel he gives me no support that is how are fight started, it ended up with him once again tel...	Holly09	6	778	Jun 5, 2010 by Holly09
	National Donut Day! (Preview) (((((Family)))), Just wanted to wish you all a HAPPY NATIONAL DONUT DAY! WOOHOO! I did not know this until I decided to treat myself this morning to a cup of coffee & a donut while I ran errands. I walked into the donut Shop and they gave me a free one. I asked them what was the occasion and they said it w...	Karilynn	4	605	Jun 5, 2010 by White Rabbit
	Crisis again (Preview) Hi I have been writing here earlier about my ex-girlfriend who is in recovery and how we have had no contact. Today she phoned me and was absolutely out of it. She had been doing well in most of her life except from with money. I went over to her to help her out with her finances and see where she had gone wron...	Cosmos	25	1472	Jun 5, 2010 by Cosmos
	Jail v courage to change (Preview) I heard the news today that my son has been given a deferred sentence. His solicitor and the judge believe he is sick not bad. Alcoholics are so often treated as the lowest of the low and the disease so misunderstood that I was prepared to hear the worst.I wasn''t invited to join the melee which shows me t...	Ness	8	694	Jun 5, 2010 by Karilynn
	New to site and my "A" just entered rehab 2 days ago (Preview) Im scared and lonely. In alot of ways I think that my "A" has become my addiction. I would call constantly to make sure he was ok. I saw a post on here where someone said you cant " love it out of them ". Thats exactly what I have tried to do over the years, that and " Yell it out of him...	kablisnow	7	889	Jun 5, 2010 by FreeToBMe
	Really Really tired (Preview) Tonight I'm just really really tired. My A has been "sober" for 60 days but tonight I found a receipt (I was not snooping, it was on the coffee table and I was cleaning) for the day after his 60th day. He's been really nasty to me lately, he's not working, and now this. I saw the receipt and to...	Independence76	8	608	Jun 4, 2010 by Independence76
	News From Jerry F (Preview) To All MIP Members: As some of you might have noticed Jerry F has not posted on MIP in almost a week. I'll be honest I was getting a little concerned. I just received a phone call from him explaining that he had computer problems and it could be another week before the problem can be corrected. He wanted me t...	RLC	18	958	Jun 4, 2010 by Christy
	the need to be right (Preview) I had to go to the emergency room over the holiday for an infection that just came up out of nowhere. I went alone and I didn't actually find it that stressful. During my relationship with the ex A I had to go to the emergency room twice. Both times he absolutely did not want to go and I delayed going becaus...	maresie	11	1054	Jun 4, 2010 by JanieB
	Priorities verses Time verse Ticked (Preview) Hello MIP Family :) Sorry been Gone awhile... Wish I could add Some excuse here but there really isn't one, just not on as much I suppose... Change in the weather finally got warm enough for me to move around, but it also left me Wide Open, to resort back to old ways... I Sooo can't wait to get to a FTF This Sun...	Jozie	2	1066	Jun 4, 2010 by hotrod
	Unhealthy Behaviors (Preview) Are the result of unhealthy situations... Whether they were in our childhood or later in life, I have found if I am behaving in an unhealthy way I need to address that, but I also need to address the situation I am in. As I was going through life many years into my recovery I noticed that around healthy peop...	AGO	4	934	Jun 4, 2010 by JanieB
	Working the program "in all our affairs" (Preview) I'm realizing more and more that although I may have gotten rid of the proverbial "monkey" on my back in relation to asking for a divorce from my AH, I still get to apply the Al-Anon program in so many aspects of my life. I know when we've gone our separate ways and we're no longer living togethe...	Aloha	2	1854	Jun 4, 2010 by JanieB
	hitting bottom. (Preview) I tend to view anything an alcoholic/addict does as a direct affront to me. The ex A's spiral downward was very very hard for me to deal with and still can find me in a froth of resentment, rage and astonishment. i can stay there for a long time and never get back to the business of moving on with my life. F...	maresie	6	1238	Jun 4, 2010 by Ness
	I FEEL BETTER! (Preview) THANKS TO ALL WHO POSTED ABOUT MY BR! THERE IS MORE TO IT THAN I AM SHARING--I HAVE MORE TRUST ISSUES. I GUESS SOME THINGS ARE BETTER LEFT UNSAID! I CAN SEE THAT A LOT OF US SUFFER WHEN WE DON'T NEED TO. I PERSONALLY HAVE SUFFERED PHYSICALLY & MENTALLY FOR SO MANY YEARS THAT THE THOUGHT OF TAKING CARE OF...	Hoot Nanny	1	610	Jun 4, 2010 by Karilynn
	I thought it was hitting bottom (Preview) I found out last week that my ah slept with a co-worker. A woman that I had invited into my home. Things have been bad between us for so long, but I never thought this would happen. He kept saying he would stop drinking. I am devastated, but the only shred of hope i had was that he had hit bottom. I was wro...	aredhead	8	628	Jun 4, 2010 by tlcate
	made it 2 days (Preview) So 2 days getting along fine. Today he's upset about who knows what and took it out on me. So I left the house for a while. My daugther told me he 'must be on his period'. What a great way to see it I'm not worried about it. He does do strange things when he's mad. Got mad about pizza so he turns the ac all the way do...	buick23	5	686	Jun 4, 2010 by pineapple
	Feeling desperate, stupid and hopeless (Preview) I haven't even looked at a single post here, I don't really know what this site is like. I just hope I can share stuff here that I've never told anyone and that maybe someone will understand. I don't fucken know..... So voila. I'm in my early 30s, I'm an ex opiate addict. I met a younger man who saved me f...	kheopsledaron	2	2796	Jun 3, 2010 by hotrod
	New here..need advice (Preview) Hello! I am not sure if this is the right place to post, but I am really concerned about my husband's drinking and need advice. For the last 3 years or so, my husband has become more of a drinker. I am not sure he is an alcoholic yet, (doesn't have the physical need) but he hides drinking from me, drinks more a...	kamel2010	7	848	Jun 3, 2010 by kablisnow
	To confront, or not to confront? (Preview) Hi, My boyfriend got serious about recovery a few months ago (he has a big heroin problem, along with alcoholism when he isn't using H). He was going to daily meetings, only hanging out with sober people, had a great sponsor, and was on a suboxone maintenance program. He was also on prozac for depressio...	Sangyaa	3	889	Jun 3, 2010 by soxfan
	almost final (Preview) When my AH was wooing me, then we married, all we went thru with his brain surgery, my mothers cancer and death,I would never imagined I would be taking back my other name. I take in the last papers today. June 15, 10, the judge signs them. We were only married a small time, however we loved each other and we...	lyndebi	6	693	Jun 3, 2010 by maresie
	Back after a couple years (Preview) I'm not even sure I've ever posted here, but have read and lurked off and on for a long time. At least let me say thanks for you guys, and for all the support here! So, here I am, and I feel like I'm reaching the breaking point in my marriage again. I've done a few months of Celebrate Recovery at church and al...	20sadyrs	5	1081	Jun 3, 2010 by maresie
	Time to wake up and smell the alcohol (Preview) Hi guys. I will try to keep this brief and to the point. I do have a tendency to waffle. Last night I finally came to my senses and stopped denying the obvious. My partner has a drink problem and it is affecting my life as much as his. He was supposed to do the grocery shopping yesterday, but spent 5 hours and h...	dimples	4	556	Jun 3, 2010 by dimples
	Been a loooong time for me comming here (Preview) I just wish I felt the peace within its been a long time with that too. I just have to get some things off my chest on here that has been keeping me up tonight. I feel like I'm weakened by the dreadfull sickness. I been married 32 yrs. That was normal when we meet coz I lived it . We always put our money together t...	peacewithin	3	683	Jun 3, 2010 by maresie
	Blah = ( (Preview) Just found out from a trusted mutual friend that my A has been drinking = ( Mind you he brags to me how he hasn't had a drink in 42 days, which in his eyes means, "the program isn't for him, he can do it on his own".... I can't say I'm surprised but it still hurts none the less... This diease rea...	Hopeless	16	1235	Jun 3, 2010 by tlcate
	getting along again (Preview) So yesterday we both decided to stop arguing. We agreed we needed to get along if we are going to make this work. It was so easy to stop arguing and have been doing fine so far. We even had some small talk and finally had dinner together again. It feels so good. buick	buick23	4	590	Jun 3, 2010 by buick23
	Prayers for our MIP family members in the Gulf (Preview) ((((Family))), As I listened to the sad news last night that the top kill method failed to stop the oil leak I couldn't help thinking about our MIP family members who live in that area. There are several that will be directly affected by this disaster, not to mention the ones who have yet to find their w...	Karilynn	2	649	Jun 3, 2010 by Rita G
	New dishes (Preview) Today I bought myself new dishes. Last time I bought new dishes was to give myself a boost of pretty cupboards after one of my xAH's relapses. I know it was an odd thing to do but as we all know, you do what you need to. Anyway today I noticed that as much as I like my dishes every time I use them that nagging lit...	Jennifer	8	864	Jun 2, 2010 by Jennifer
	must be improving (Preview) Hi everyone one, I feel good. been down for couple of days but my slips do not seem to be lasting as long My A is of trying to fight the illness he had a slip 3 of days ago. He was very honest with me his sponsor rang and told me , he had been honest with his sponsor too. When my ABF did ring I told him I needed a bre...	Tracy	2	496	Jun 2, 2010 by Mandy123
	still living for the future (Preview) I find myself not being able to stay in the moment. I keep waiting for things to change before I can be happy. I know that goes against all the teachings of Alanon. I cannot give up the "what ifs". What if he never gets sober? What if he never moves away from me? What if he doesn't pay his child sup...	Gailey	7	802	Jun 2, 2010 by maresie
	I don't like reality (Preview) Hi Everyone, I have not possed for abit been reading posts though. My ABf went into Aa a year ago. He was sober for 6 months he has been slipping on off for past 6 months always goes back to AA. A month ago had a bad slip for 3 weeks. Lost his best friend stole 15,00 from him. His kids turned their backs and I...	Tracy	5	802	Jun 2, 2010 by maresie
	My A-Family - totally unreliable (Preview) On friday after trusting my gut 100%, - first time ever I might add, I set off for an event in which I have invested a lot of time. My brother was supposed to come with me, but it all started to unravel last week, when I tried to firm up arrangements. He told me it was a long time off yet and that we would make arra...	maire rua	5	797	Jun 2, 2010 by idontknow
	Honesty (Preview) I try to mostly work on my own honesty, and not obsess over others - i.e., is this person being honest or not. I found that in working with alcoholics, it's not really all that important to try and guess at everything they say and decide if it's true or not. The message is the same, my duty to pass on my expe...	barisax	10	1079	Jun 2, 2010 by Rita G
	I MIGHT AS WELL SPIT IT OUT! (Preview) TO EVERYONE WHO READS THIS: I WANT TO TELL YOU ALL WHAT KIND OF SURGERY I AM HAVING SO IT WON'T LEAD TO MORE SPECULATION! I AM POSSIBLY GOING TO HAVE BREAST REDUCTION SURGERY SOON! IT HAS BEEN VERY HARD TO EXPLAIN THIS TO OTHERS BECAUSE IT IS A VERY DELICATE ISSUE FOR ME! BUT I WILL SOLDIER ON TO THE CONSULTA...	Hoot Nanny	11	887	Jun 2, 2010 by buick23
	Please hear me out...(long...also about clonazepam) (Preview) I am writing this when I am very upset. I just don't know what to do anymore. My AH came to the house tonight furious with me. He had been snooping through my stuff once again and found old journals from years ago. He told me that it was not normal to keep these journals (b/c I had written about how I felt abou...	looking_for_peace	5	620	Jun 1, 2010 by Rocky38
	Alone (Preview) I am not sure wherre to begin... Are any of us? I am the adult child of an alcoholic who married an alcoholic. I first noticed a problem with him after we were married a few weeks. I found the first hidden bottle. A really big almost empty one. That started the viscious circle for us. I would get mad he would p...	brandy w	8	872	Jun 1, 2010 by brandy w
	I have been like this for a long time (Preview) When I first came in Al-Anon exactly a month ago today I went believing it could help me to fix my relationship with my alcoholic girlfriend in recovery or at least fix her. Already during my first f2f meeting I realized that it was about me. Not us and not her. Ok. So I was under the influence of alcohol a...	Cosmos	3	1206	Jun 1, 2010 by maresie
	Still Need Time (Preview) I told my A mom a couple of weeks ago that I need some time and she needs to start counceling again before I can talk with her. She's been verbally abusive to me for the past month and a half. She just called me twice today. I didn't answer. The msg she left was a lie about her conversation with my brother-I t...	cuteamy7	5	678	Jun 1, 2010 by cuteamy7
	Is this the place for me? (Preview) I have been reading the FAQ section and it says it is for dependents of alocholics. My husband is addicted to narcotics....I need some support b/c I'm driving myself crazy.	df0309	4	675	Jun 1, 2010 by Karilynn
	Lies, now he is in Jail! ugh (Preview) OK, so I was thinking that he was back on track. He was going to go back to work today. He is my fiance, he lives in another state. I have a trip planned and paid for to go there this coming Thursdsay. He sarted drinking last Monday night. (As I posted last week) From Wed on he sounded totally sober, and apolog...	katfshh	19	1122	May 31, 2010 by Independence76
	Feeling Guilty??? (Preview) The A has been relentless with me this weekend regarding wanting to borrow the car.. I've stuck to my guns by telling him no but he is not taking to it well, he is constantly calling asking... Now I know with having co dependency issues this is huge step for me but why do I feel so guilty?!?! Shouldn't I...	Hopeless	11	1024	May 31, 2010 by Independence76
	Codependency Recovery codependence dependence grief maturity emotional sobriety (Preview) I am wondering how many individuals here would consider themselves "dependent?" If you are not dependent now, have you ever been? How do you cope? Alternatively, how did you cope? Did you finally mature? I have a great problem relying on others for my happiness, and I tend to choose part...	Not2bforgot10	5	7487	May 31, 2010 by Bettina
	Just venting (Preview) My AH hasn't eaten any solid food now for over 4 weeks. He looks dreadful - skeletal and and awful grey colour. (Maybe tinged with yellow but that maybe because I'm watching for it). He ought to be hospitalised on a drip but the NHS (we're in UK), I have learnt, just doesn't do alcoholism. It appears to be a...	Tattyhead	7	1153	May 31, 2010 by Ness
	How many meetings are expected? (Preview) A lot happened this afternoon when I met with my AH, but at least we both stayed civil. Anyways...he has left me with a burning question... He said that if I want to save our marriage, loved him and the kids...then I will be willing to attend more Al-Anon meetings. He told me that this is the only way I will l...	looking_for_peace	5	979	May 31, 2010 by Jennifer
	update (Preview) So since my last post we still have not had a talk, he's been spending most of his time away or outside. I have not complained about a thing. Last night we were supposed to have dinner together. Needless to say that did not happen. He came in to eat 2 hours after I ate. I hate to eat dinner alone. This morning I...	buick23	1	533	May 31, 2010 by lyndebi
	Dealing with Adult Son in Recovery (Preview) My adult son (22 years old) entered a 90 day treatment program a little over four months ago, across the country. He chose to go and has so far maintained sobriety. We are supporting him financially although he is sort of looking for a part time job (he has great difficulty following through on any tasks...	oldshrink	2	809	May 31, 2010 by Ness
	How do I learn to love and nurture myself? fear grief change transition dependency self-nurturing (Preview) I wanted to write because I am feeling really anxious right now. Tomorrow I am supposed to either take the train or rental car to Vermont (I am in Philly now living with my recent ex POA ("POA" is basically a past/present partner) and her father, paying a minimal amount of rent). I will be stay...	Not2bforgot10	5	8837	May 30, 2010 by kitty
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.