Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

kris10 · kris10

So, I've finally come to the conclusion that in my relationship, the bad out weighs the good...by far.. I guess I've known this for a while but didn't want to really let myself say it... I think a relationship should be equal.. We should be getting back as much as we put in... Well, I am getting back little...

John · John

Hi Everyone, Several members have indicated that they are having a problem entering the chat room, so I thought I would take moment to address the best method of resolving the issue. ******* First, make sure you have the updated version of java software on your computer. It's free, doesn't cost a di...

Xenther · Xenther

I grew up with an alcoholic father. Spent a lot of nights pretending to be asleep but afraid to do so because I wasnt sure what was going to happen next and a lot of days trying to anticipate when things were going to go off the rails. I worshiped my dad when he wasnt drunk and feared and hated him when he was. A...

surfgirl123 · surfgirl123

After another long day at work got home to the emotional roller coast I call my AH. He was 'up' when I got hom, agitated, hyper, I'm pretty sure he had been drinking. Then he swings the other way and starts crying after watching a TV show, it was a comedy, he said it made him sad. He literally cried for an hou...

likemyheart · likemyheart

I love the movie Rainmaker with Burt Lancaster and Katherine Hepburn. I identify with Lizzy - being treated like she was a challenging daughter to marry off because she wasn't conventionally "pretty". Makes me glad to grow up in the era I did, I wasn't just a challenging daughter to marry o...

tired of trying · tired of trying

My AH is still not drinking-have gone through weeks of ups and downs-totally confusing-one day he wants to leave, the marriage is over, then he feels left out, then he wants to move in the garage, then he is trying to do things around the house, still no touching, still sleeping on a cot in the man cave, bu...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

thanks for your comments about the VA incident! I am getting over it as the date is the 9th & it happened on the 5th. I have so much else to obsess about that I can't even mention them all! I see over 100 of you viewed my post--I think that was a RECORD for me! I am STILL & WILL ALWAYS BE a WORK in Progress...

Jackie11 · Jackie11

I have been working to show acceptance. I have stated I accept you just as you are. I don't qualify that with but I don't like your choices. The result the 1/2 gallon whiskey bottle is back on the shelf with the dishes instead of hidden wherever it was. A bottle was purchased on Thursday, said bottle was go...

Michelle814 · Michelle814

I love these boards. I like the constructive criticism and the praise and encouragement I receive. I want to thank the members who read and respond to my rambles. I know that they are not always 100% on track but I am learning and growing one day at a time. Thank you for being patient with me and for liste...

rootzy · rootzy

My sister and brother in law have given us custody of their two children due to ROXY abuse. They indicate they are sober however last few instances they have been lethargic, falling asleep even. Their pupils are extremely dialated. They indicate they are going to NA and are working the program. THey h...

rehprof · rehprof

so..been venting here and getting lots of support...cause honestly, this recent break up has me in a funk..and fighting to find a reason to stay alive...thats how far down I am... I'm trying to be kind to myself and explore the nature of this deep sadness. Here's my conclusion...about the breakup.. F...

Pushka · Pushka

I have to admit I am surprised by how great this visit was, it was a LOT of fun to be out here with my mom. I think I ate my way through much of the city good grief there went another 20lbs! It was worth it!! I miss the food, the culture, the diversity, the sights and the smells. It was so nice not to smell burn...

rosielee · rosielee

just wanted t say...i have been having insomnia for last 6 mnths- and yesterday was a bad day...if i lost my perspective- or my cool....thats why. i forget that i am tired...and end up steaming through the day...and when i have an emotionally bad day....like today i woke up at 3 am this morning and hav...

rara avis · rara avis

Hey everybody, Just and update for anyone who's followed my endless breakup, I don't want to create a mystery since I've been here less often. [ computer implosion plus business ] Long story short the stay away order is in effect and my ex did not show up for the hearing, thank goodness, he went into...

Debilyn · Debilyn

ya know I got more bs from him. I realized he is drunk. Nothing makes sense. Of course I gave it to hp. I feel so relieved, serene. It was like I came in a newbie and you guys reminded me again all the stuff I needed. I mean if he does not pay now, when I go to court he will owe more than double with the fees. It's no...

John · John

Hi Everyone, As many of you know I broke both of my wrist, a hand and an elbow recently and therefore am not able to work my pressure washing and painting business right now, with one arm in a cast and the other in a particle cast. Therefore, I do not have the funds to pay all the expenses related to Miracles...

orchidlover · orchidlover

One really big characteristic of my last relationship with the ex A (I have not had many since then so that is about it!) was that I rushed in. I rushed in without thinking who I was getting involved with. Up into now I have not really taken that much responsibility for my part in it. Of course he snowed me...

jessicat · jessicat

Today is a bad day. I have been at work for three hours and have done nothing but shut my door, cry, scour the internet for help on what to do, cry some more, then cry some more again. I don't know how to get through times like this. I've decided not to make any decisions about my marriage right now. So I know th...

Minaret · Minaret

My active A lies all the time, but his time has always been accountable for and he maintains that he has always been loyal and thinks cheating is one of the worst things someone could do to another in a relationship. He can be a bit jealous, but only when drinking. I've begun to doubt this now. Lately he a be...

Michelle814 · Michelle814

My HP led me on a spiritual journey again last night. I met up with a friend I just made a few months back when I started Al-Anon. We went to a new comer's meeting together but before that we talked for a long while about compassion.. not just for the A in our life but for everyone. Before we went to the new c...

Debilyn · Debilyn

OMGosh how the heck do you do it??? You who live with A's you have to love them a lot. I am not sure I should even be here anymore, but its home! This tenant is an A no question. The insanity of how he thinks is beyond what I remember. He lies, makes no sense. Says one thing, does another, lies some more. Keeps p...

_heather_ · _heather_

So I had a breakthrough with my AH yesterday....we actually communicated. It felt so good to actually be able to talk to him and have a conversation. It was a lot of him venting/sharing his feelings (which he has NEVER done) and me listening. I know that he has a hard time just listening to me when I sha...

_heather_ · _heather_

I found out last night from my dad that my AH was in the hospital. He had been texting my dad because he didn't want to call me and tell me where he was. He had called his mother to bring him to the hospital...and nobody notified me. I am his primary contact...I am his wife regardless of what is going on in ou...

Very Very Tired · Very Very Tired

The last sentence of the 11th Tradition says, "...We need guard with special care the anonymity of all AA members." We read the Traditions at the F2F meeting I attend. I know the Traditions can seem kind of boring and unimportant. But, I can't tell you the number of times one of the Tradition...

Green Eyes · Green Eyes

Thanks so much to those on this board who directed me to the Alanon pamphlet, "A Merry-Go-Round Named Denial." Although there were parts of it that rang so true to me that it was almost too painful to absorb, there was almost a sense of relief to know that others have experienced what our fami...

cinders · cinders

After 8 years of living with my husband's drinking and his constant complaints about how it is too hard to live with me and my 4 children (from previous marriage) I told him to decide, stay and get help, go to counseling and work through this together or go. He chose to go. He moved out on Saturday. Sayi...

Jozie · Jozie

Often Times on this Journey thru life, I find that I Tend to Jump from Step to Step... Not So Much in order but to my choosing... I have a Dear Friend that Told me to Work them anyway I Wanted as long as I eventually got to them all... :) And I have, but this time of Year I tend to CLING too Step Eleven... Sought th...

rehprof · rehprof

So...I have been separated for a year..currently divorcing from AH. been dating a guy exclusively for about 6 months -- and today we decided to date others...mostly because he feels he can't give me what I need in a relationship -- because he has emotional scars from previous relationships. Intelle...

John · John

I place here a link to the AA groups message board, that goes directly to the post of my speaking at the Tri City Conference of AA, on Oct 21st, 2011. If you would like to listen to it, please click the link. I just prefer to not place AA material such as this on the Al-Anon board. If you listen to it, and woul...

atheos · atheos

Had a 1st appointment with a psychologist today. My sponsor's been recommending that for a while. It went OK, and the doctor seemed nice, but I'm really scared he'll think I'm a chronic whiner who's just wasting his time when his other patients have *real* problems... I've decided to stick it out for a...

amills4294 · amills4294

My spouse's car is in the shop - it has been so many times over the past few months. The mechanic he goes to is across town. I've been more then willing to take him to drop his car off and pick him up many times. His car problems are a sore issue. It was another one of his purchases that was made out of impul...

rosielee · rosielee

i was on the receiving end of my mums verbal and physical abuse from an early age- thrugh to my teens and then into my twenties and early thirties. you react to criticism and negativity when you are too yung to know better- and in yur teens you deffinitely do...but somewhere along the lines it dawned on m...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

As you can see by my angry face--I am frustrated by the ignorance & lack of knowledge that some people have about the Alanon program! I went to a VA hospital yesterday & wanted to just leave some literature. A big-wig not so nice lady told me that it was SOLICITATION! They have AA meetings actual...

nyc018 · nyc018

My AH and I are separated, but remain in close contact. Hes in AA and has a sponsor. Hes been sober since his last binge drove him insane (but to 2 week rehab) 3+ months ago. This binge also led to him to losing his job - a very good job that he worked hard to get. He'd only been there 10 months. However, whi...

Michelle814 · Michelle814

I have been praying deeply to God to grant me compassion for all people. I am letting go of the judgements I make and asking God to fill my judgmental attitude with compassion instead. I make progress than I take steps backward. I most judgmental over those who judge haha.. this is the irony. They mak...

stephaniej · stephaniej

I've been struggling with the program so much lately. I think what is challenging me most is having my AH home, after he was working 600 miles away for 7 months. It was so much easier to detach when he was gone... Anyway, I hit my own new low point on Sunday night. Nobody had slept much, because my younge...

rehprof · rehprof

so yah, my bf and I, we broke up -- that hurts ALOT -- tara brach (buddhist teacher) says that is the first arrow...the event that causes us pain what causes us (me) suffering comes from the second arrow --the thoughts that include "I wasn't good enough in bed" or "I wasn't funny enough...

mehere80 · mehere80

For those of you that have read the phamplet "Alcoholism, a merry go round named denial", my husband and I (my A) are in Act III and I've clearly been the role of provoker during our marriage. During Act II a few months ago, I had changed my role. I entered Al-Anon. I made him get his own bank...

amills4294 · amills4294

I am happy I had a good day yesterday. I enjoyed the time with my daughter. I tried to chant the serenity prayer when I felt challenged and it helped. I continued to try to turn things over to my HP. I am challenged by my spouse and his rollercoaster of emotions. I believe it boils down to the fact that he...

Michelle814 · Michelle814

I went to visit my husband in rehab on Saturday and it was amazing!!! Over the past two and a half weeks of him being away I have had, what they refer to as, a spiritual awakening. I have never experienced one before. I now talk to my HP all the time. I yell, I cry, I laugh, I talk and the amazing thing is......

ifa · ifa

The world seems like it's trying to make me feel worthless, but I am still not really convinced. I am 59 but I don't feel old and actually I feel better than I ever did. I have loved the same guy since I was 13, but he is still non-committal. I think after all these years, his eyes should light up when he sees me...

kydee · kydee

Is the chat room still open and are there still online meetings there? I have been trying for several days to get in there no luck any help I'm not to computer smart Thanks.

usedtobeanyer · usedtobeanyer

Wow, had a real eye opener today from my 3 year old son. The last few days have been rough, what with my wife drinking & lying about it again. I'm not doing a very good job of keeping my side of the street clean as this is happening, however, and I find myself just full of rage after my alcoholic continues...

grantmeserenity · grantmeserenity

Ive been active in al-anon for about a year & a half. I also used to post here but just recently got new login info. Anyhow- My A and I have a young child together & have been together for 3 years. Hes been in and out of the program. The last relapse was pretty bad and I simply couldnt handle talking to...

pineapple · pineapple

It's been quite a weekend. I cried for the past three days. Saturday I was exhausted from working, and from the emotional meltdown I've been going through. But I slept well that night, first time in a while. Yesterday I walked the dogs and didn't do any work except what I wanted to do. I putzed in the garde...

Grace7 · Grace7

Hey there. Long story, try to be short. Son is a lifer in military. He was divorced, and rebounded quickly. The new girl was murdered, he was a mess. He deployed, and resorted to a dating service online, Met a couple of girls. One, we liked, a Lot. Still too soon though, needed to heal. Next one h...

John · John

RLC and I had a special relationship that all the miles between us couldn't dampen at all. One day recently he sent me the following PM and I truly think it reflects clearly the kind of man he was. **************November 6th Reply DeleteRLC John, I hope you are doing well.....and taking care of y...

Debilyn · Debilyn

you can just sign in to the AA board to hear it. Its ez. I promise you won't be sorry! I learned so so very much!

lookingup · lookingup

he had been having back problems lower back pain and bleeding alot in his urin went to er they sent him to a urologist and he sent him back to er for more test ,plus he has alot of fluid builup in one of his testicles and a hole in his stomck lineing which r not concerned about right now they ruled out any kidne...

John · John

I once thought my pitiful life had been reduced to waking up, drinking coffee, saying a prayer, going to work, coming home, taking a shower, eating, going to a meeting, coming home, watching some tv, going to bed and .....waking up, drinking coffee, saying a prayer, going to work, coming home, taking...

debbiems · debbiems

Hi- I am new to posting, i do attend meetings although I haven't been faithful about going. Long story short my husband and I have a 22 yr old son who has been in and out of treatment and jail. He got out of his last court ordered treatment Nov 1, 2011 after being there for 6 months prior to going he spent 4 mont...

Michelle814 · Michelle814

"But you should never be embarrassed by your trouble with living. Because it is the ones with the sorest throats, Laura, who have done the most singing." -Bright Eyes I've been through the ringer, man. I can smile and tell you I am so grateful for it. In May I had a miscarriage, then August 30...

Generic Writer · Generic Writer

Someone sent me a message that my "posts are deep, thoughtful," but nobody knows who I am. He also wrote please introduce yourself to us - I think you'll find a lot of friends on here. I never thought of introducing myself... rather letting people know who I am through my writings. This is a m...

atheos · atheos

Met with my sponsor today, to discuss step 3 and prepare for step 4. One of the questions was something along the lines of "Do I trust my higher power to care for me?", and after hearing my answer she said she's not sure I'm ready for the 4th step, that you need to trust a loving, caring higher pow...

pineapple · pineapple

For weeks now I've been making an effort to be positive, to find what small happiness I can, to get out and do things, see people. Somewhere yesterday I lost the will to even make those efforts. I am so tired and sad and alone. This morning I will make myself get dressed and go into town. If I don't go to the ma...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

It is 5am and I layed awake for hours before I got up and had to write a letter to my employer about a mess going on at work. It felt good to get it out and than I thought I would go back to bed, but now the head is on a tangent and now I am obsessing about all that I should be getting done before our trip in 2 days. Man a...

oldergal · oldergal

You have been Mother/Father to this person/s for all their life. Then they're gone. It does leave a hole in one's heart. They say "love them from afar" what exactly does that mean? If you get another chance to start a different relationship with them, what would that look like? It just seems...

Tracey C · Tracey C

Hi, I was wondering if anyoneelse has troubles with their spouse not showering. Needless to say on those nights nothing romantic happens. It's not all the time just now and then. Sometimes I get him out of bed to have one as I don't want him smelling all night long. Is this poking my nose in where it do...

atheos · atheos

First, I just want to say: I have no problem with people in AA coming to Al-Anon if they also have the problem of alcoholism in a friend or family member and are coming to Al-Anon because of that. That is perfectly OK. What I *do* have a problem with is people from local halfway houses who "just want to...

amills4294 · amills4294

With all of the resources I've tapped into in the past year or so (Alanon only past few months) I'm starting to feel more grounded - more aware and am feeling some growth. I know I have a loooong way to go and life will always be a place for growth but maybe it won't always be a struggle. :) I've been turning t...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	When in doubt...type it out??? (Preview) So, I've finally come to the conclusion that in my relationship, the bad out weighs the good...by far.. I guess I've known this for a while but didn't want to really let myself say it... I think a relationship should be equal.. We should be getting back as much as we put in... Well, I am getting back little...	kris10	20	822	Dec 10, 2011 by kris10
	Chatroom Issues... Getting in to it ?? (Preview) Hi Everyone, Several members have indicated that they are having a problem entering the chat room, so I thought I would take moment to address the best method of resolving the issue. ******* First, make sure you have the updated version of java software on your computer. It's free, doesn't cost a di...	John	2	595	Dec 10, 2011 by ladysoblue
	Son of an alcoholic dating a drinker (Preview) I grew up with an alcoholic father. Spent a lot of nights pretending to be asleep but afraid to do so because I wasnt sure what was going to happen next and a lot of days trying to anticipate when things were going to go off the rails. I worshiped my dad when he wasnt drunk and feared and hated him when he was. A...	Xenther	6	639	Dec 10, 2011 by pinkchip
	All I Hear Now is "Blah Blah Blah" (Preview) After another long day at work got home to the emotional roller coast I call my AH. He was 'up' when I got hom, agitated, hyper, I'm pretty sure he had been drinking. Then he swings the other way and starts crying after watching a TV show, it was a comedy, he said it made him sad. He literally cried for an hou...	surfgirl123	11	650	Dec 10, 2011 by Breakingfree
	Self-Esteem (Preview) I love the movie Rainmaker with Burt Lancaster and Katherine Hepburn. I identify with Lizzy - being treated like she was a challenging daughter to marry off because she wasn't conventionally "pretty". Makes me glad to grow up in the era I did, I wasn't just a challenging daughter to marry o...	likemyheart	9	674	Dec 9, 2011 by hotrod
	update (Preview) My AH is still not drinking-have gone through weeks of ups and downs-totally confusing-one day he wants to leave, the marriage is over, then he feels left out, then he wants to move in the garage, then he is trying to do things around the house, still no touching, still sleeping on a cot in the man cave, bu...	tired of trying	1	374	Dec 9, 2011 by hotrod
	thanks for your comments! (Preview) thanks for your comments about the VA incident! I am getting over it as the date is the 9th & it happened on the 5th. I have so much else to obsess about that I can't even mention them all! I see over 100 of you viewed my post--I think that was a RECORD for me! I am STILL & WILL ALWAYS BE a WORK in Progress...	Hoot Nanny	0	339	Dec 9, 2011 by Hoot Nanny
	denial (Preview) I have been working to show acceptance. I have stated I accept you just as you are. I don't qualify that with but I don't like your choices. The result the 1/2 gallon whiskey bottle is back on the shelf with the dishes instead of hidden wherever it was. A bottle was purchased on Thursday, said bottle was go...	Jackie11	12	696	Dec 9, 2011 by tired of trying
	The Grass is Greener on MY Side (Preview) I love these boards. I like the constructive criticism and the praise and encouragement I receive. I want to thank the members who read and respond to my rambles. I know that they are not always 100% on track but I am learning and growing one day at a time. Thank you for being patient with me and for liste...	Michelle814	9	446	Dec 9, 2011 by Michelle814
	Believe bro-in-law using ROXY/BLUE- PLEASE HELP (Preview) My sister and brother in law have given us custody of their two children due to ROXY abuse. They indicate they are sober however last few instances they have been lethargic, falling asleep even. Their pupils are extremely dialated. They indicate they are going to NA and are working the program. THey h...	rootzy	9	477	Dec 9, 2011 by rootzy
	Slogging through depression (Preview) so..been venting here and getting lots of support...cause honestly, this recent break up has me in a funk..and fighting to find a reason to stay alive...thats how far down I am... I'm trying to be kind to myself and explore the nature of this deep sadness. Here's my conclusion...about the breakup.. F...	rehprof	13	658	Dec 9, 2011 by GailMichelle
	Leaving on a jet plane :) (Preview) I have to admit I am surprised by how great this visit was, it was a LOT of fun to be out here with my mom. I think I ate my way through much of the city good grief there went another 20lbs! It was worth it!! I miss the food, the culture, the diversity, the sights and the smells. It was so nice not to smell burn...	Pushka	10	493	Dec 9, 2011 by GailMichelle
	i was dreadfully tired yesterday (Preview) just wanted t say...i have been having insomnia for last 6 mnths- and yesterday was a bad day...if i lost my perspective- or my cool....thats why. i forget that i am tired...and end up steaming through the day...and when i have an emotionally bad day....like today i woke up at 3 am this morning and hav...	rosielee	3	473	Dec 8, 2011 by pineapple
	Update only, no drama [ YAY! ] (Preview) Hey everybody, Just and update for anyone who's followed my endless breakup, I don't want to create a mystery since I've been here less often. [ computer implosion plus business ] Long story short the stay away order is in effect and my ex did not show up for the hearing, thank goodness, he went into...	rara avis	4	439	Dec 8, 2011 by likemyheart
	you guys are so great (Preview) ya know I got more bs from him. I realized he is drunk. Nothing makes sense. Of course I gave it to hp. I feel so relieved, serene. It was like I came in a newbie and you guys reminded me again all the stuff I needed. I mean if he does not pay now, when I go to court he will owe more than double with the fees. It's no...	Debilyn	1	475	Dec 8, 2011 by amills4294
	How you can help this site today... (Preview) Hi Everyone, As many of you know I broke both of my wrist, a hand and an elbow recently and therefore am not able to work my pressure washing and painting business right now, with one arm in a cast and the other in a particle cast. Therefore, I do not have the funds to pay all the expenses related to Miracles...	John	16	2143	Dec 8, 2011 by Sweet Stanley
	Rushing into relationships (Preview) One really big characteristic of my last relationship with the ex A (I have not had many since then so that is about it!) was that I rushed in. I rushed in without thinking who I was getting involved with. Up into now I have not really taken that much responsibility for my part in it. Of course he snowed me...	orchidlover	14	602	Dec 8, 2011 by orchidlover
	How do you get through tough moments/hours/days? (Preview) Today is a bad day. I have been at work for three hours and have done nothing but shut my door, cry, scour the internet for help on what to do, cry some more, then cry some more again. I don't know how to get through times like this. I've decided not to make any decisions about my marriage right now. So I know th...	jessicat	18	719	Dec 8, 2011 by orchidlover
	How would I know if he was cheating? (Preview) My active A lies all the time, but his time has always been accountable for and he maintains that he has always been loyal and thinks cheating is one of the worst things someone could do to another in a relationship. He can be a bit jealous, but only when drinking. I've begun to doubt this now. Lately he a be...	Minaret	8	848	Dec 8, 2011 by orchidlover
	On a Journey with my HP (Preview) My HP led me on a spiritual journey again last night. I met up with a friend I just made a few months back when I started Al-Anon. We went to a new comer's meeting together but before that we talked for a long while about compassion.. not just for the A in our life but for everyone. Before we went to the new c...	Michelle814	5	550	Dec 8, 2011 by Michelle814
	Ok let me tell ya! (Preview) OMGosh how the heck do you do it??? You who live with A's you have to love them a lot. I am not sure I should even be here anymore, but its home! This tenant is an A no question. The insanity of how he thinks is beyond what I remember. He lies, makes no sense. Says one thing, does another, lies some more. Keeps p...	Debilyn	7	571	Dec 8, 2011 by Jozie
	Stuck (Preview) So I had a breakthrough with my AH yesterday....we actually communicated. It felt so good to actually be able to talk to him and have a conversation. It was a lot of him venting/sharing his feelings (which he has NEVER done) and me listening. I know that he has a hard time just listening to me when I sha...	_heather_	7	624	Dec 8, 2011 by Jackie11
	need some serious support (Preview) I found out last night from my dad that my AH was in the hospital. He had been texting my dad because he didn't want to call me and tell me where he was. He had called his mother to bring him to the hospital...and nobody notified me. I am his primary contact...I am his wife regardless of what is going on in ou...	_heather_	10	510	Dec 8, 2011 by tommyecat
	The 11th Tradition + The 12th Step = New Understanding (Preview) The last sentence of the 11th Tradition says, "...We need guard with special care the anonymity of all AA members." We read the Traditions at the F2F meeting I attend. I know the Traditions can seem kind of boring and unimportant. But, I can't tell you the number of times one of the Tradition...	Very Very Tired	6	861	Dec 8, 2011 by tommyecat
	A Merry-Go-Round Named Denial denial choices merry-go-round (Preview) Thanks so much to those on this board who directed me to the Alanon pamphlet, "A Merry-Go-Round Named Denial." Although there were parts of it that rang so true to me that it was almost too painful to absorb, there was almost a sense of relief to know that others have experienced what our fami...	Green Eyes	6	12733	Dec 8, 2011 by tommyecat
	Now what? (Preview) After 8 years of living with my husband's drinking and his constant complaints about how it is too hard to live with me and my 4 children (from previous marriage) I told him to decide, stay and get help, go to counseling and work through this together or go. He chose to go. He moved out on Saturday. Sayi...	cinders	8	506	Dec 7, 2011 by cinders
	My NEED for the 11th Step... (Preview) Often Times on this Journey thru life, I find that I Tend to Jump from Step to Step... Not So Much in order but to my choosing... I have a Dear Friend that Told me to Work them anyway I Wanted as long as I eventually got to them all... :) And I have, but this time of Year I tend to CLING too Step Eleven... Sought th...	Jozie	3	1650	Dec 7, 2011 by Debilyn
	Breaking Up is hard to do (Preview) So...I have been separated for a year..currently divorcing from AH. been dating a guy exclusively for about 6 months -- and today we decided to date others...mostly because he feels he can't give me what I need in a relationship -- because he has emotional scars from previous relationships. Intelle...	rehprof	7	579	Dec 7, 2011 by Rematch--
	AA Speaker Tape - John F. (Tri City Conference 2011) (Preview) I place here a link to the AA groups message board, that goes directly to the post of my speaking at the Tri City Conference of AA, on Oct 21st, 2011. If you would like to listen to it, please click the link. I just prefer to not place AA material such as this on the Al-Anon board. If you listen to it, and woul...	John	11	4757	Dec 7, 2011 by John
	Seeing a therapist (Preview) Had a 1st appointment with a psychologist today. My sponsor's been recommending that for a while. It went OK, and the doctor seemed nice, but I'm really scared he'll think I'm a chronic whiner who's just wasting his time when his other patients have real problems... I've decided to stick it out for a...	atheos	8	500	Dec 7, 2011 by orchidlover
	What am I sooo afraid of? (Preview) My spouse's car is in the shop - it has been so many times over the past few months. The mechanic he goes to is across town. I've been more then willing to take him to drop his car off and pick him up many times. His car problems are a sore issue. It was another one of his purchases that was made out of impul...	amills4294	13	578	Dec 7, 2011 by Lindaoakford
	not having your buttons pushed (Preview) i was on the receiving end of my mums verbal and physical abuse from an early age- thrugh to my teens and then into my twenties and early thirties. you react to criticism and negativity when you are too yung to know better- and in yur teens you deffinitely do...but somewhere along the lines it dawned on m...	rosielee	7	518	Dec 7, 2011 by orchidlover
	WHY DO PEOPLE HAVE TO BE SO IGNORANT; JUST SAYING! (Preview) As you can see by my angry face--I am frustrated by the ignorance & lack of knowledge that some people have about the Alanon program! I went to a VA hospital yesterday & wanted to just leave some literature. A big-wig not so nice lady told me that it was SOLICITATION! They have AA meetings actual...	Hoot Nanny	5	558	Dec 7, 2011 by orchidlover
	Disengaging and Trying Not to Live in Future Wreckage (Preview) My AH and I are separated, but remain in close contact. Hes in AA and has a sponsor. Hes been sober since his last binge drove him insane (but to 2 week rehab) 3+ months ago. This binge also led to him to losing his job - a very good job that he worked hard to get. He'd only been there 10 months. However, whi...	nyc018	6	1207	Dec 7, 2011 by orchidlover
	Step 4 Work ... I Judge the Judgmental (Preview) I have been praying deeply to God to grant me compassion for all people. I am letting go of the judgements I make and asking God to fill my judgmental attitude with compassion instead. I make progress than I take steps backward. I most judgmental over those who judge haha.. this is the irony. They mak...	Michelle814	1	575	Dec 7, 2011 by rosielee
	Hitting my own low point (Preview) I've been struggling with the program so much lately. I think what is challenging me most is having my AH home, after he was working 600 miles away for 7 months. It was so much easier to detach when he was gone... Anyway, I hit my own new low point on Sunday night. Nobody had slept much, because my younge...	stephaniej	10	486	Dec 7, 2011 by stephaniej
	Suffering from the second arrow (Preview) so yah, my bf and I, we broke up -- that hurts ALOT -- tara brach (buddhist teacher) says that is the first arrow...the event that causes us pain what causes us (me) suffering comes from the second arrow --the thoughts that include "I wasn't good enough in bed" or "I wasn't funny enough...	rehprof	16	579	Dec 6, 2011 by Lindaoakford
	Ending a marriage during Act III of the Merry Go Round Named Denial (Preview) For those of you that have read the phamplet "Alcoholism, a merry go round named denial", my husband and I (my A) are in Act III and I've clearly been the role of provoker during our marriage. During Act II a few months ago, I had changed my role. I entered Al-Anon. I made him get his own bank...	mehere80	12	1612	Dec 6, 2011 by wifegoeson
	One good day does not always lead to another :) (Preview) I am happy I had a good day yesterday. I enjoyed the time with my daughter. I tried to chant the serenity prayer when I felt challenged and it helped. I continued to try to turn things over to my HP. I am challenged by my spouse and his rollercoaster of emotions. I believe it boils down to the fact that he...	amills4294	7	619	Dec 6, 2011 by wifegoeson
	Surrounded by Miracles let go and let god live and let live miracles spiritual awakening (Preview) I went to visit my husband in rehab on Saturday and it was amazing!!! Over the past two and a half weeks of him being away I have had, what they refer to as, a spiritual awakening. I have never experienced one before. I now talk to my HP all the time. I yell, I cry, I laugh, I talk and the amazing thing is......	Michelle814	6	2130	Dec 6, 2011 by Breakingfree
	worthless reject (Preview) The world seems like it's trying to make me feel worthless, but I am still not really convinced. I am 59 but I don't feel old and actually I feel better than I ever did. I have loved the same guy since I was 13, but he is still non-committal. I think after all these years, his eyes should light up when he sees me...	ifa	14	693	Dec 6, 2011 by pinkchip
	Chat Room and Meetings (Preview) Is the chat room still open and are there still online meetings there? I have been trying for several days to get in there no luck any help I'm not to computer smart Thanks.	kydee	2	409	Dec 6, 2011 by xeno59
	"You're my best friend, dad..." (Preview) Wow, had a real eye opener today from my 3 year old son. The last few days have been rough, what with my wife drinking & lying about it again. I'm not doing a very good job of keeping my side of the street clean as this is happening, however, and I find myself just full of rage after my alcoholic continues...	usedtobeanyer	14	716	Dec 6, 2011 by Breakingfree
	ESH please! family resentment one day at a time holidays (Preview) Ive been active in al-anon for about a year & a half. I also used to post here but just recently got new login info. Anyhow- My A and I have a young child together & have been together for 3 years. Hes been in and out of the program. The last relapse was pretty bad and I simply couldnt handle talking to...	grantmeserenity	13	11139	Dec 6, 2011 by Breakingfree
	better (Preview) It's been quite a weekend. I cried for the past three days. Saturday I was exhausted from working, and from the emotional meltdown I've been going through. But I slept well that night, first time in a while. Yesterday I walked the dogs and didn't do any work except what I wanted to do. I putzed in the garde...	pineapple	9	446	Dec 6, 2011 by rehprof
	Sons Newest Wife (Preview) Hey there. Long story, try to be short. Son is a lifer in military. He was divorced, and rebounded quickly. The new girl was murdered, he was a mess. He deployed, and resorted to a dating service online, Met a couple of girls. One, we liked, a Lot. Still too soon though, needed to heal. Next one h...	Grace7	1	463	Dec 6, 2011 by Debilyn
	A PM From RLC (Preview) RLC and I had a special relationship that all the miles between us couldn't dampen at all. One day recently he sent me the following PM and I truly think it reflects clearly the kind of man he was. **************November 6th Reply DeleteRLC John, I hope you are doing well.....and taking care of y...	John	10	612	Dec 6, 2011 by Andrea12
	Please listen to John's share, its soooo amazing! (Preview) you can just sign in to the AA board to hear it. Its ez. I promise you won't be sorry! I learned so so very much!	Debilyn	0	363	Dec 5, 2011 by Debilyn
	concerned for my a/d b/f (Preview) he had been having back problems lower back pain and bleeding alot in his urin went to er they sent him to a urologist and he sent him back to er for more test ,plus he has alot of fluid builup in one of his testicles and a hole in his stomck lineing which r not concerned about right now they ruled out any kidne...	lookingup	4	435	Dec 5, 2011 by orchidlover
	This way of life... Boring?? (Preview) I once thought my pitiful life had been reduced to waking up, drinking coffee, saying a prayer, going to work, coming home, taking a shower, eating, going to a meeting, coming home, watching some tv, going to bed and .....waking up, drinking coffee, saying a prayer, going to work, coming home, taking...	John	8	882	Dec 5, 2011 by Michelle814
	New to posting (Preview) Hi- I am new to posting, i do attend meetings although I haven't been faithful about going. Long story short my husband and I have a 22 yr old son who has been in and out of treatment and jail. He got out of his last court ordered treatment Nov 1, 2011 after being there for 6 months prior to going he spent 4 mont...	debbiems	7	653	Dec 5, 2011 by Michelle814
	it is the ones with the sorest throats who have done the most singing (Preview) "But you should never be embarrassed by your trouble with living. Because it is the ones with the sorest throats, Laura, who have done the most singing." -Bright Eyes I've been through the ringer, man. I can smile and tell you I am so grateful for it. In May I had a miscarriage, then August 30...	Michelle814	4	363	Dec 5, 2011 by Michelle814
	Someone suggested that I introduce myself... (Preview) Someone sent me a message that my "posts are deep, thoughtful," but nobody knows who I am. He also wrote please introduce yourself to us - I think you'll find a lot of friends on here. I never thought of introducing myself... rather letting people know who I am through my writings. This is a m...	Generic Writer	11	791	Dec 5, 2011 by Michelle814
	Not ready for step 4 (Preview) Met with my sponsor today, to discuss step 3 and prepare for step 4. One of the questions was something along the lines of "Do I trust my higher power to care for me?", and after hearing my answer she said she's not sure I'm ready for the 4th step, that you need to trust a loving, caring higher pow...	atheos	11	575	Dec 5, 2011 by Michelle814
	encouragement (Preview) For weeks now I've been making an effort to be positive, to find what small happiness I can, to get out and do things, see people. Somewhere yesterday I lost the will to even make those efforts. I am so tired and sad and alone. This morning I will make myself get dressed and go into town. If I don't go to the ma...	pineapple	11	770	Dec 4, 2011 by GailMichelle
	I am obsessing (Preview) It is 5am and I layed awake for hours before I got up and had to write a letter to my employer about a mess going on at work. It felt good to get it out and than I thought I would go back to bed, but now the head is on a tangent and now I am obsessing about all that I should be getting done before our trip in 2 days. Man a...	Breakingfree	9	527	Dec 4, 2011 by orchidlover
	SO, YOUR SON/DAUGHTER HAS LEFT YOUR HOME (Preview) You have been Mother/Father to this person/s for all their life. Then they're gone. It does leave a hole in one's heart. They say "love them from afar" what exactly does that mean? If you get another chance to start a different relationship with them, what would that look like? It just seems...	oldergal	2	518	Dec 4, 2011 by likemyheart
	Hygene (Preview) Hi, I was wondering if anyoneelse has troubles with their spouse not showering. Needless to say on those nights nothing romantic happens. It's not all the time just now and then. Sometimes I get him out of bed to have one as I don't want him smelling all night long. Is this poking my nose in where it do...	Tracey C	7	426	Dec 4, 2011 by tommyecat
	Alcoholics invading our meeting! (Preview) First, I just want to say: I have no problem with people in AA coming to Al-Anon if they also have the problem of alcoholism in a friend or family member and are coming to Al-Anon because of that. That is perfectly OK. What I do have a problem with is people from local halfway houses who "just want to...	atheos	12	736	Dec 4, 2011 by tommyecat
	slowly beginning to work (Preview) With all of the resources I've tapped into in the past year or so (Alanon only past few months) I'm starting to feel more grounded - more aware and am feeling some growth. I know I have a loooong way to go and life will always be a place for growth but maybe it won't always be a struggle. :) I've been turning t...	amills4294	2	465	Dec 4, 2011 by tommyecat
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.