Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

10jq1830 · 10jq1830

Hello, This is my first time here and I need some guidance. My husband is high functioning alcoholic. Our 20 yr old has always been bothered by her dad's drinking but is away at school now. Our 17 yr old who never seemed bothered about it came to me the other night to tell me how much it upsets her and had ev...

amills4294 · amills4294

I'd be interested in hearing others thoughts, experiences, perspectives on personal privacy in a relationship. I have come to learn that not everyone has the same view of this... As I've matured I've come to accept and value the need for personal privacy. I have times I just need to vent. I need to g...

Wolfie55 · Wolfie55

This one is a bit long, but I'm feeling a bit longwinded.When I fell in love with my wife Nancy, I forgot to ask her if she had children. Well, she had told me she was married twice before and I recall her mentioning she had a few sons and a few daughters but I naturally assumed they were all grown up, moved ou...

ttpurtee · ttpurtee

I am going to attend my first al-anon meeting tonight. I am excited and scared all at the same time. I have been extremely depressed lately. I am hoping these meetings will help me out of this depression. I never really wanted to go to al-anon meetings, but I think I need them. This is not something I...

emil · emil

I went to my second therapy session and before I went in I thought "why am I here." After talking for a while I realized I am here- for me. I want to feel stronger for me. I know that I am often intiminated in many relatonships. When any type of conflict occurs I often pretend its not happen...

Ariel · Ariel

No, he didn't call...didn't text. And I honestly don't care. Grateful, actually. I worked from home today while my daughter & son played quietly in their rooms. I'M FREE!!!! My daughter & I had a slumber party last night...we all went toy shopping after work...and there was no negative jerk...

TLD · TLD

Although I am content where I am, staying in one room at my parents is starting to get frusterating. There is no space to think, no room to move and living out of boxes isn't fun. Meanwhile the exAH is living in our house with 3 bedrooms and lots of space. He has still locked me out and I'm only allowed supe...

pinkchip · pinkchip

I don't struggle to not drink so much, but I have gravitated over to Alanon quite a bit for 1 main reason lately. I can't change other people. How much does this suck? I thought a therapist was supposed to be able to do that and help people that way. Intellectually I know even therapist are only vehicles...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Practice, Practice, Practice...I wasn't standing still I was going crazy!! I wasn't doing anything and that was the problem I was just doing crazy or rather letting crazy do me. It happens and finally I got soooo sick and tired of being sick and tired I just went with sloganizing...thinking, feel...

happygolucky · happygolucky

Hi guys and gals. I am new here, and I am seeking some guidance/help with some issues I am having with my SO in her recovery program. Obviously I do not want to air dirty laundry in a public place, so via PM's, and or phone would be best. I believe I have enough reasons to be worried, but would like unbiased co...

Tracy · Tracy

I have lived in a asmall part of Liverpool in Englad all my life. for a couple of years there has been a local alcoholic who is a nuisance but harless who lives on the streets so I thought. local people ive him clothes etc once a tent in the winter. I went to the bus stop before to go to my meeting, I have split...

Ariel · Ariel

My ABF quit drinking for a week and a half, and is still the same, mean person he ever was. He refused to go to AA. I was lifting heavy boxes for goodwill into my car & he walked right past me...twice. Then he huffed & puffed That Id asked for help. He asked me later 'what my problem was' & I calmy t...

daisy31 · daisy31

I have been thinking lately about how before Alanon I had SO many self help books. I was constantly looking for serenity in those books and it left me with only despair and exhaustion. For awhile I was even trying to do affirmations and the law of attraction. If I would say an affirmation then I relly d...

1 day at a time · 1 day at a time

well im finally learning i dont have to try to be perfect.when ive set myself up by trying to be perfect i only set myself up to fail and then feel bad when i can not reach that goal.now i will do the best and can do and that is easy.and if that is not good enough for someone else that is their problem.i will do my...

Wolfie55 · Wolfie55

One of the many gifts I have received in my almost 12 years of sobriety is the work I was allowed to do at a local transition home for recovering alcoholics and addicts. I have no formal background or training in the field of alcoholism unless you count my 30 years field experience. I guess I just have a wa...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

It is getting easier to function these days w/o my dad & step-mom. I still want to pick up the phone & call them. I want to be there where they are sometimes too. I guess God has other plans for me to stick around & maybe touch another life. I often wonder what it would have been like if I could hav...

Green Eyes · Green Eyes

As I've mentioned on this board many times, I left my AH in the spring of last year. We've been married for almost 30 years. I'm so much more at peace living in my simple one bedroom apartment, just two miles from work and walking distance to pretty much everywhere I want or need to go. I can sleep at night. I...

DreamXL · DreamXL

Hey Whackamole............:) whats shakin girl ! Happy Happy Birthday !! Havent seen you for a while, hope your having a great day. May all your dreams come true in Extra Large :) Hope to see you soon........

Oksie · Oksie

Woke up feeling so much better it wasn't funny. Im almost elated. I know I have to bring that down a bit and get more 'centred' Yesterday, after I had a realisation about the triggers and where that awful feeling came from..... I ate. and ate. and ate. well yo uget the picture. Mostly bad food. I gue...

Oksie · Oksie

HI guys It's me Linda. I know I said I wasn't going to post for a while, but I just can't help myself. Today.... I am not in a good place in my own head. I just need to write for a bit cos its hard to form the words in real speak. Today... I woke up hating every cell in my massive body. I did not want to wake up. I do...

LeenieBeanie · LeenieBeanie

I have been going to Al Anon for about 1 year. Long story short : we have a beautiful, sweet alcoholic daughter who has been been in addiction half her life. Drugs at 15, stopped at 20 then picked up a bottle and has not put it down. I dont have to tell you what we have been through - we could have paid cash for an...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Only have a few minutes so here it goes! I am feeling better. I am still growing! I am still changing--I will never be perfect. The only thing constant is change. I hope I am not the same person this time next year. I hope that the truth will set me free. I hope you all will feel a sense of growth in me. I don't fe...

daisy31 · daisy31

Just a few things I am loving about alanon today...... People look happy to see me at the meetings (which is new to me!) :) They like to give hugs and it feels safe to do so. People are authentic and open about their issues People like to get together afterwards just to hang out at a restaurant and everyone i...

Tracey C · Tracey C

I originally posted this on another board. Maybe it may be more appropriate for on here. Hi,I was wondering if you could help me.Are people who go to aa allowed to be sponsors for al-ateen? I have an issue with a male who sponsors our children's al-ateen group. He has made inappropriate comments...

Wolfie55 · Wolfie55

For the benefit of those of you who don't know me very well, I've been coming to MIP on and off since 2005. I'm what is known in program lingo as a double winner, meaning I am in both Al-Anon and AA. I only mention that in case there are newcomers in here who may be confused by my outgoing outspoken and often ou...

Jackie11 · Jackie11

My AH sat next to me on the couch tonight and cried. He cried because he can't stop and doesn't know how and doesn't know what to do. This is not the first time this conversation has been had. Tonight he was asking me to help him find a 3 day detox program because he can't do this on his own and doesn't believe j...

MeTwo2 · MeTwo2

I've been Really looking at my past however many years .. One of Alanon's Promises is that we will learn to perceive Reality .. I survived alcoholism by fantasizing in a denialish sort of way .. copied behaviors by telling myself it wasn't this way or that way .. seeing the cycle and how it passed down to m...

Green Eyes · Green Eyes

http://www.cnn.com/2012/02/22/opinion/brooks-addiction-problem/index.html?hpt=hp_t3

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

I'm still angry about the fallout from my AH's DUI from last Thursday. I can't seem to shake it. I am withholding affection from him, being curt and short with my words, and I am keeping my distance. We've had a few good talks this week and he's doing a great job in taking care of his side of the street rig...

respect · respect

I have two things on my mind today. They are seeming so big right now that I feel like my world is caving in. I tried to remember some slogins to help me relax. I had to think hard to pull a few out but I'm now trying to rememember that this too shall pass..... But in the meantime I need to tell someone what's goi...

Giggly423 · Giggly423

Hey everyone I am new to this message board, but hopefully this is somewhere I can get some advice. I am engaged to be married to an alcoholic. I know whole heartedly that he's an alcoholic, but I'm not sure he's ready to admit it. Right now he is in a detox center withdrawing from alcohol. This is the fir...

CWren · CWren

My AH has been a heavy drinker since we met 12 years ago. I always thought it was because we were young and having fun. We had our first child and I noticed he still drank, a lot. We had another child. He still drank a lot. But he never drank where it interfered with work or where anyone else knew about it...

kickster · kickster

Hi, I'm looking for something I read awhile ago. It spoke about; Sometimes the answer to our Prayers is to "Wait" & that "God is Working on Something" I don't know if it is 1 or 2 readings. I think it's either in: ODAT, COURAGE TO CHANGE or AS WE UNDERSTAND I can't find it anyw...

Hope2000 · Hope2000

This is the 1st time I've acutally reached out and spoke- about the pain, frustration, and fear I've felt for years. My AH and I've been married 13yrs, two beautiful kids but the drinking has been the dark cloud hanging over us. The past year has by far been the best, only because I did quit trying to cont...

Wolfie55 · Wolfie55

I'm in my second marriage. By the time I married my first wife, I'd been in intimate relationships with maybe 6 women. I was married to her for 18 years. I was only unfaithful twice so that makes a total of eight relationships. I was single for 4 years. By the time I met my second wife I had made up for lost tim...

Wolfie55 · Wolfie55

One day a young girl asked her daddy if they could go for a walk in the park like they used to do. Her daddy said, "not now princess I'm very busy." He wasnt really busy, he was drinking. Next day the young girl asked her daddy if they could go to the circus like they used to do. Her daddy said, "...

orchidlover · orchidlover

The ex A was and will be the last relationship where I jump in and then blame him for not being who I needed. My lifelong pattern has been to rush into relationships believing that any relationship I have will be changed by the superhuman force of my love. Granted there are many things in my life I can't cha...

stefani74 · stefani74

So everything's going really great! He's clean and sober for close to 4 months now. He's eating healthy and working out because he started gaining weight after quitting everything. He's excited his blood pressure is down and he just wants to a better, healthier person. Well that used to be my thing...

Very Very Tired · Very Very Tired

Exhausting conversation with AH. I am reminding myself not to fight my HP's plan. Surprise endings: my HP's speciality (thanks Pushka!). Hey, HP, this better be one helluva a happy ending because right now it just sucks. I keep reminding myself there is something greater than myself. There is a big...

ttpurtee · ttpurtee

Well, I have been going to Al-Anon meetings and I have discovered that everything that you are not suppose to do when you are married to an A. I did. I feel bad about that and I have already filed for divorce. However, I don't really want a divorce. I love my husband and married him with forever in mind....

stephaniej · stephaniej

Tonight I noticed that one corner of our apartment smells like beer. Obviously, either my AH or his friend, who had been staying with us, spilled some beer over there. We are moving out of this apartment in a week. Our new place does not have carpetl Oooo, I so wanted to send a text message to my AH. I e...

robind78 · robind78

I have a 26 y.o. daughter who lives with an alcoholic. I suspect she is one also. Her boyfriend just lost his job due to drinking and was ordered to undergo in-patient treatment. He has not done so. I talk to my daughter and we just talk about superficial things. Sometimes I think I don't really know...

Debilyn · Debilyn

Court went fine, ez. Tenant made a fool of himself, when it was over he owed me money and was livid. He argued with the judge, showed he was lying about one thing after another. When my friends asked me,"What made him argue, and how come he cannot see the damage he has done." thank you al anon. &q...

amills4294 · amills4294

About a month or so ago I wrote an email to my brother explaining to him the circumstances that my spouse was moving back home and that I was doing it primarily for our daughter... I guess at the time I felt I had the need to justify my decision and of course Im sure I shed my spouse not in the best of light. My b...

TwistedServant · TwistedServant

Bernie here. Grateful member of Al-Anon for 16 years and recovered alcoholic of 14 years, whichever you prefer. I do a lot of sponsorship. I used to be old school, you know, men sponsor men, women sponsor women, but lately I don't much care what your gender is. If you're willing to do the work, I'm willin...

Michelle814 · Michelle814

I feel proud of myself this morning... and happy... I feel very happy: My husband said goodbye to me this morning and I felt an urge to ask if he was going to his outpatient group, but I did not say a word, because it is none of my business. He ended up saying he was headed there on his own to me.. Then he talked...

surfgirl123 · surfgirl123

Things have been quiet since the last outburst. I have been trying to focus on myself. He has been fairly quiet and agreeable. Then last night, I get home from work, he says he is really tired and going to bed at 6pm (usually a sign he has been drinking), I don't comment on it, tell him to get some rest. Whil...

peacewithin · peacewithin

Thank you all for your Prayers & Support Test came back NO Cancer . But I do have to have surgery to remove a tumor that is non-cancer. So relieved inhale, exhale. Peace & Love DEB

atheos · atheos

The phrase (that I wanted to put in a work email, but didn't) "Never before has a job made me feel so much like jumping off a parking structure" sums up the last month quite nicely. I would NEVER actually do it, but the fact that there was an afternoon where I looked over the rail and thought &quo...

david62 · david62

Hi (((Family))), I got a little deeper bit of understanding this Sunday morning, sitting in a meeting of my "other" program. The priest was sharing about a story of Jesus healing a paralytic person who was carried to Him by his family. Jesus heals the paralytic person then tells him to, s...

Jackie11 · Jackie11

Last night right as I was arriving home from job 2 I received a text from my MIL. She was talking about how she needed to change her views and stop being so judgemental. How she needs to change some things and basically asking that we pray for her. She sends these type texts to me, my AH and my SIL sometimes an...

ttpurtee · ttpurtee

really really enjoyed my f2f alanon meeting last night. I can't even begin to tell you how much I enjoyed it. I would take up the rest of message boards. I felt a lot of peace at the meeting. Unbelieveable!! I felt less crazy! which is always a good thing.

I feel like texting my AH and telling him...

daisy31 · daisy31

So I talked to my sister who I haven't talked to in a few months. I fear she may be developing an alcohol problem just as so many of my other family members have-she recently told my other sister that she is a functioning alcoholic and laughed about it. I have been working on detaching and using the sloga...

Michelle814 · Michelle814

I can humbly accept God's will for me now. I feel it flowing through me now. I can put my hands up and enjoy the roller coaster ride that is life as I know it, which is not much. At my home group last Thursday, a dear friend I have made in the program happened upon a 3x5 index card holding the page for one of the...

Overcome · Overcome

I got into a "discussion" on facebook today with a person who was posting hate posts about Whitney Houston and how we were giving her more attention than she deserved. This person was pointing out how we as a country needed to get our priorites straight and value and recognize our fallen sol...

Skylark · Skylark

I sat here for a long time staring at the smilie box and the empty text box. Here I am, about to write an Al-Anon family group post about someone in my life who is an addict beginning recovery. This is not what I thought I'd be doing on November 17, 2011. I don't know what I figured I would be doing, but you kno...

flopadopilus · flopadopilus

I decided to go watch a movie with my exAH last night. I have't spent much time with him and we both love and miss each other. When I got to his house he was already well into his drinking night and well it went down hill from there. He was trying to make me confess how our marriage ending had very little to do wi...

Beyondsick · Beyondsick

My brother has ruined my life. I could write you a book right now.....I am very angry and depressed right now....mentally, physical and financially. I never know how bad things were until just recently. It's his attitude that's a killer. He does no wrong, he's nasty, and for some reason I think he thin...

Corgi2 · Corgi2

I was just going through some of my older posts on here as I am experiencing some familiar pain. As I read my own words, it brought me back to where I was when I wrote them...it hurts to see where I was and it hurts even more to see how little has changed in the lives of my alcoholics. However, Im proud to say tha...

Lindaoakford · Lindaoakford

and it led straight to this site. Few other things first, a couple of them me, a couple not me. I understand that I can't change the name so I will be deleting this profile and starting a new one. See you all soon in a new name. I don't know how it got to be my real name, I am not good with computers and stuff and I j...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	family group with daughter appropriate? (Preview) Hello, This is my first time here and I need some guidance. My husband is high functioning alcoholic. Our 20 yr old has always been bothered by her dad's drinking but is away at school now. Our 17 yr old who never seemed bothered about it came to me the other night to tell me how much it upsets her and had ev...	10jq1830	5	389	Feb 27, 2012 by Grace7
	Personal Privacy in a relationship - thoughts on boundaries (Preview) I'd be interested in hearing others thoughts, experiences, perspectives on personal privacy in a relationship. I have come to learn that not everyone has the same view of this... As I've matured I've come to accept and value the need for personal privacy. I have times I just need to vent. I need to g...	amills4294	11	654	Feb 27, 2012 by Pushka
	Don't Tell Me, Show Me (Preview) This one is a bit long, but I'm feeling a bit longwinded.When I fell in love with my wife Nancy, I forgot to ask her if she had children. Well, she had told me she was married twice before and I recall her mentioning she had a few sons and a few daughters but I naturally assumed they were all grown up, moved ou...	Wolfie55	8	543	Feb 27, 2012 by peacewithin
	First Al-Anon Meeting (Preview) I am going to attend my first al-anon meeting tonight. I am excited and scared all at the same time. I have been extremely depressed lately. I am hoping these meetings will help me out of this depression. I never really wanted to go to al-anon meetings, but I think I need them. This is not something I...	ttpurtee	11	494	Feb 27, 2012 by whitedove
	emil feeling better and ready for the work (Preview) I went to my second therapy session and before I went in I thought "why am I here." After talking for a while I realized I am here- for me. I want to feel stronger for me. I know that I am often intiminated in many relatonships. When any type of conflict occurs I often pretend its not happen...	emil	4	269	Feb 27, 2012 by hotrod
	He Left, Day 2 (Preview) No, he didn't call...didn't text. And I honestly don't care. Grateful, actually. I worked from home today while my daughter & son played quietly in their rooms. I'M FREE!!!! My daughter & I had a slumber party last night...we all went toy shopping after work...and there was no negative jerk...	Ariel	6	446	Feb 26, 2012 by Jennifer
	Frusterated with the selfishness of alcoholism (Preview) Although I am content where I am, staying in one room at my parents is starting to get frusterating. There is no space to think, no room to move and living out of boxes isn't fun. Meanwhile the exAH is living in our house with 3 bedrooms and lots of space. He has still locked me out and I'm only allowed supe...	TLD	8	1493	Feb 26, 2012 by TLD
	What I still struggle with (Preview) I don't struggle to not drink so much, but I have gravitated over to Alanon quite a bit for 1 main reason lately. I can't change other people. How much does this suck? I thought a therapist was supposed to be able to do that and help people that way. Intellectually I know even therapist are only vehicles...	pinkchip	24	691	Feb 26, 2012 by oldergal
	Sloganizing.... (Preview) Practice, Practice, Practice...I wasn't standing still I was going crazy!! I wasn't doing anything and that was the problem I was just doing crazy or rather letting crazy do me. It happens and finally I got soooo sick and tired of being sick and tired I just went with sloganizing...thinking, feel...	Jerry F	7	588	Feb 26, 2012 by nyc018
	Needing some help/guidance. (Preview) Hi guys and gals. I am new here, and I am seeking some guidance/help with some issues I am having with my SO in her recovery program. Obviously I do not want to air dirty laundry in a public place, so via PM's, and or phone would be best. I believe I have enough reasons to be worried, but would like unbiased co...	happygolucky	5	369	Feb 26, 2012 by Michelle814
	lcoholic at he bus stop (Preview) I have lived in a asmall part of Liverpool in Englad all my life. for a couple of years there has been a local alcoholic who is a nuisance but harless who lives on the streets so I thought. local people ive him clothes etc once a tent in the winter. I went to the bus stop before to go to my meeting, I have split...	Tracy	5	431	Feb 26, 2012 by Pushka
	Well, He Left (Preview) My ABF quit drinking for a week and a half, and is still the same, mean person he ever was. He refused to go to AA. I was lifting heavy boxes for goodwill into my car & he walked right past me...twice. Then he huffed & puffed That Id asked for help. He asked me later 'what my problem was' & I calmy t...	Ariel	10	465	Feb 26, 2012 by Hope4Peace
	relief of control in alanon (Preview) I have been thinking lately about how before Alanon I had SO many self help books. I was constantly looking for serenity in those books and it left me with only despair and exhaustion. For awhile I was even trying to do affirmations and the law of attraction. If I would say an affirmation then I relly d...	daisy31	4	323	Feb 25, 2012 by daisy31
	learning i dont have to be perfect. (Preview) well im finally learning i dont have to try to be perfect.when ive set myself up by trying to be perfect i only set myself up to fail and then feel bad when i can not reach that goal.now i will do the best and can do and that is easy.and if that is not good enough for someone else that is their problem.i will do my...	1 day at a time	4	346	Feb 25, 2012 by daisy31
	Just Friends - An Al-Anon/AA Love Story (Preview) One of the many gifts I have received in my almost 12 years of sobriety is the work I was allowed to do at a local transition home for recovering alcoholics and addicts. I have no formal background or training in the field of alcoholism unless you count my 30 years field experience. I guess I just have a wa...	Wolfie55	7	533	Feb 25, 2012 by Michelle814
	it is getting easier...I guess! (Preview) It is getting easier to function these days w/o my dad & step-mom. I still want to pick up the phone & call them. I want to be there where they are sometimes too. I guess God has other plans for me to stick around & maybe touch another life. I often wonder what it would have been like if I could hav...	Hoot Nanny	3	382	Feb 25, 2012 by Michelle814
	Serenityville vs. Crazytown (Preview) As I've mentioned on this board many times, I left my AH in the spring of last year. We've been married for almost 30 years. I'm so much more at peace living in my simple one bedroom apartment, just two miles from work and walking distance to pretty much everywhere I want or need to go. I can sleep at night. I...	Green Eyes	11	367	Feb 25, 2012 by Michelle814
	Whackamole, Happy Birthday !! (Preview) Hey Whackamole............:) whats shakin girl ! Happy Happy Birthday !! Havent seen you for a while, hope your having a great day. May all your dreams come true in Extra Large :) Hope to see you soon........	DreamXL	2	256	Feb 25, 2012 by All I can be
	In a GOOD place today (Preview) Woke up feeling so much better it wasn't funny. Im almost elated. I know I have to bring that down a bit and get more 'centred' Yesterday, after I had a realisation about the triggers and where that awful feeling came from..... I ate. and ate. and ate. well yo uget the picture. Mostly bad food. I gue...	Oksie	3	231	Feb 25, 2012 by Ariel
	not in a good place today (Preview) HI guys It's me Linda. I know I said I wasn't going to post for a while, but I just can't help myself. Today.... I am not in a good place in my own head. I just need to write for a bit cos its hard to form the words in real speak. Today... I woke up hating every cell in my massive body. I did not want to wake up. I do...	Oksie	18	568	Feb 25, 2012 by Oksie
	Need to hear Experience - Alcoholic daughter wants to move back (Preview) I have been going to Al Anon for about 1 year. Long story short : we have a beautiful, sweet alcoholic daughter who has been been in addiction half her life. Drugs at 15, stopped at 20 then picked up a bottle and has not put it down. I dont have to tell you what we have been through - we could have paid cash for an...	LeenieBeanie	5	873	Feb 24, 2012 by LeenieBeanie
	just a moment to reflect... (Preview) Only have a few minutes so here it goes! I am feeling better. I am still growing! I am still changing--I will never be perfect. The only thing constant is change. I hope I am not the same person this time next year. I hope that the truth will set me free. I hope you all will feel a sense of growth in me. I don't fe...	Hoot Nanny	1	276	Feb 24, 2012 by daisy31
	Just a few random thoughts I have... (Preview) Just a few things I am loving about alanon today...... People look happy to see me at the meetings (which is new to me!) :) They like to give hugs and it feels safe to do so. People are authentic and open about their issues People like to get together afterwards just to hang out at a restaurant and everyone i...	daisy31	5	356	Feb 24, 2012 by danni
	Al-ateen Sponsors (Preview) I originally posted this on another board. Maybe it may be more appropriate for on here. Hi,I was wondering if you could help me.Are people who go to aa allowed to be sponsors for al-ateen? I have an issue with a male who sponsors our children's al-ateen group. He has made inappropriate comments...	Tracey C	4	423	Feb 24, 2012 by Tracey C
	A Cat Story (Preview) For the benefit of those of you who don't know me very well, I've been coming to MIP on and off since 2005. I'm what is known in program lingo as a double winner, meaning I am in both Al-Anon and AA. I only mention that in case there are newcomers in here who may be confused by my outgoing outspoken and often ou...	Wolfie55	9	454	Feb 24, 2012 by Breakingfree
	ESH appreciated for how to handle this? (Preview) My AH sat next to me on the couch tonight and cried. He cried because he can't stop and doesn't know how and doesn't know what to do. This is not the first time this conversation has been had. Tonight he was asking me to help him find a 3 day detox program because he can't do this on his own and doesn't believe j...	Jackie11	13	578	Feb 24, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Just the Effects ... (Preview) I've been Really looking at my past however many years .. One of Alanon's Promises is that we will learn to perceive Reality .. I survived alcoholism by fantasizing in a denialish sort of way .. copied behaviors by telling myself it wasn't this way or that way .. seeing the cycle and how it passed down to m...	MeTwo2	9	469	Feb 24, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Addiction is Not Hopeless addiction AA (Preview) http://www.cnn.com/2012/02/22/opinion/brooks-addiction-problem/index.html?hpt=hp_t3	Green Eyes	4	6269	Feb 24, 2012 by Michelle814
	Releasing my anger (Preview) I'm still angry about the fallout from my AH's DUI from last Thursday. I can't seem to shake it. I am withholding affection from him, being curt and short with my words, and I am keeping my distance. We've had a few good talks this week and he's doing a great job in taking care of his side of the street rig...	ilovedogs	10	772	Feb 24, 2012 by danni
	wreck of a day: when to interfere? (Preview) I have two things on my mind today. They are seeming so big right now that I feel like my world is caving in. I tried to remember some slogins to help me relax. I had to think hard to pull a few out but I'm now trying to rememember that this too shall pass..... But in the meantime I need to tell someone what's goi...	respect	12	668	Feb 24, 2012 by Mattie
	Help: Postponing a Wedding (Preview) Hey everyone I am new to this message board, but hopefully this is somewhere I can get some advice. I am engaged to be married to an alcoholic. I know whole heartedly that he's an alcoholic, but I'm not sure he's ready to admit it. Right now he is in a detox center withdrawing from alcohol. This is the fir...	Giggly423	15	585	Feb 24, 2012 by orchidlover
	High functioning AH ... feel alone. (Preview) My AH has been a heavy drinker since we met 12 years ago. I always thought it was because we were young and having fun. We had our first child and I noticed he still drank, a lot. We had another child. He still drank a lot. But he never drank where it interfered with work or where anyone else knew about it...	CWren	15	598	Feb 23, 2012 by abbyal
	Do you know where to find this? (Preview) Hi, I'm looking for something I read awhile ago. It spoke about; Sometimes the answer to our Prayers is to "Wait" & that "God is Working on Something" I don't know if it is 1 or 2 readings. I think it's either in: ODAT, COURAGE TO CHANGE or AS WE UNDERSTAND I can't find it anyw...	kickster	2	365	Feb 23, 2012 by usedtobeanyer
	Afraid (Preview) This is the 1st time I've acutally reached out and spoke- about the pain, frustration, and fear I've felt for years. My AH and I've been married 13yrs, two beautiful kids but the drinking has been the dark cloud hanging over us. The past year has by far been the best, only because I did quit trying to cont...	Hope2000	7	424	Feb 23, 2012 by Jerry F
	Rock Logic (Preview) I'm in my second marriage. By the time I married my first wife, I'd been in intimate relationships with maybe 6 women. I was married to her for 18 years. I was only unfaithful twice so that makes a total of eight relationships. I was single for 4 years. By the time I met my second wife I had made up for lost tim...	Wolfie55	6	548	Feb 23, 2012 by Green Eyes
	Please Daddy Don't Cry (Preview) One day a young girl asked her daddy if they could go for a walk in the park like they used to do. Her daddy said, "not now princess I'm very busy." He wasnt really busy, he was drinking. Next day the young girl asked her daddy if they could go to the circus like they used to do. Her daddy said, "...	Wolfie55	4	465	Feb 23, 2012 by John
	Look before you leap (Preview) The ex A was and will be the last relationship where I jump in and then blame him for not being who I needed. My lifelong pattern has been to rush into relationships believing that any relationship I have will be changed by the superhuman force of my love. Granted there are many things in my life I can't cha...	orchidlover	6	372	Feb 23, 2012 by hotrod
	He's encouraging me? That's a switch! (Preview) So everything's going really great! He's clean and sober for close to 4 months now. He's eating healthy and working out because he started gaining weight after quitting everything. He's excited his blood pressure is down and he just wants to a better, healthier person. Well that used to be my thing...	stefani74	5	382	Feb 23, 2012 by danni
	Emotionally exhausted (Preview) Exhausting conversation with AH. I am reminding myself not to fight my HP's plan. Surprise endings: my HP's speciality (thanks Pushka!). Hey, HP, this better be one helluva a happy ending because right now it just sucks. I keep reminding myself there is something greater than myself. There is a big...	Very Very Tired	13	744	Feb 22, 2012 by orchidlover
	ESH needed please (Preview) Well, I have been going to Al-Anon meetings and I have discovered that everything that you are not suppose to do when you are married to an A. I did. I feel bad about that and I have already filed for divorce. However, I don't really want a divorce. I love my husband and married him with forever in mind....	ttpurtee	7	420	Feb 22, 2012 by orchidlover
	Took a long, hard look at my motives (Preview) Tonight I noticed that one corner of our apartment smells like beer. Obviously, either my AH or his friend, who had been staying with us, spilled some beer over there. We are moving out of this apartment in a week. Our new place does not have carpetl Oooo, I so wanted to send a text message to my AH. I e...	stephaniej	8	360	Feb 22, 2012 by orchidlover
	What to talk about? (Preview) I have a 26 y.o. daughter who lives with an alcoholic. I suspect she is one also. Her boyfriend just lost his job due to drinking and was ordered to undergo in-patient treatment. He has not done so. I talk to my daughter and we just talk about superficial things. Sometimes I think I don't really know...	robind78	4	588	Feb 22, 2012 by robind78
	the one little Al Anon saying...... (Preview) Court went fine, ez. Tenant made a fool of himself, when it was over he owed me money and was livid. He argued with the judge, showed he was lying about one thing after another. When my friends asked me,"What made him argue, and how come he cannot see the damage he has done." thank you al anon. &q...	Debilyn	6	377	Feb 22, 2012 by kael1539
	The Queen of Mistakes (Preview) About a month or so ago I wrote an email to my brother explaining to him the circumstances that my spouse was moving back home and that I was doing it primarily for our daughter... I guess at the time I felt I had the need to justify my decision and of course Im sure I shed my spouse not in the best of light. My b...	amills4294	10	592	Feb 22, 2012 by amills4294
	On the Subject of Trust (Preview) Bernie here. Grateful member of Al-Anon for 16 years and recovered alcoholic of 14 years, whichever you prefer. I do a lot of sponsorship. I used to be old school, you know, men sponsor men, women sponsor women, but lately I don't much care what your gender is. If you're willing to do the work, I'm willin...	TwistedServant	6	482	Feb 22, 2012 by Wolfie55
	Celebrating Every Day Victories (Preview) I feel proud of myself this morning... and happy... I feel very happy: My husband said goodbye to me this morning and I felt an urge to ask if he was going to his outpatient group, but I did not say a word, because it is none of my business. He ended up saying he was headed there on his own to me.. Then he talked...	Michelle814	6	381	Feb 22, 2012 by Wolfie55
	Locked Cell Phone (Preview) Things have been quiet since the last outburst. I have been trying to focus on myself. He has been fairly quiet and agreeable. Then last night, I get home from work, he says he is really tired and going to bed at 6pm (usually a sign he has been drinking), I don't comment on it, tell him to get some rest. Whil...	surfgirl123	4	416	Feb 22, 2012 by whitedove
	Thanks For Prayers & Support (Preview) Thank you all for your Prayers & Support Test came back NO Cancer . But I do have to have surgery to remove a tumor that is non-cancer. So relieved inhale, exhale. Peace & Love DEB	peacewithin	6	276	Feb 22, 2012 by Breakingfree
	It's all ****ed up... (ESH needed) (Preview) The phrase (that I wanted to put in a work email, but didn't) "Never before has a job made me feel so much like jumping off a parking structure" sums up the last month quite nicely. I would NEVER actually do it, but the fact that there was an afternoon where I looked over the rail and thought &quo...	atheos	7	513	Feb 22, 2012 by orchidlover
	Carrying My Mat (Preview) Hi (((Family))), I got a little deeper bit of understanding this Sunday morning, sitting in a meeting of my "other" program. The priest was sharing about a story of Jesus healing a paralytic person who was carried to Him by his family. Jesus heals the paralytic person then tells him to, s...	david62	8	452	Feb 22, 2012 by orchidlover
	It works if you work it... (Preview) Last night right as I was arriving home from job 2 I received a text from my MIL. She was talking about how she needed to change her views and stop being so judgemental. How she needs to change some things and basically asking that we pray for her. She sends these type texts to me, my AH and my SIL sometimes an...	Jackie11	6	357	Feb 21, 2012 by Pushka
	F2F Alanon meetings (Preview) really really enjoyed my f2f alanon meeting last night. I can't even begin to tell you how much I enjoyed it. I would take up the rest of message boards. I felt a lot of peace at the meeting. Unbelieveable!! I felt less crazy! which is always a good thing. I feel like texting my AH and telling him...	ttpurtee	7	347	Feb 21, 2012 by stefani74
	How to handle family dynamics? (Preview) So I talked to my sister who I haven't talked to in a few months. I fear she may be developing an alcohol problem just as so many of my other family members have-she recently told my other sister that she is a functioning alcoholic and laughed about it. I have been working on detaching and using the sloga...	daisy31	7	436	Feb 21, 2012 by daisy31
	3x5 Roller Coaster Ride (Preview) I can humbly accept God's will for me now. I feel it flowing through me now. I can put my hands up and enjoy the roller coaster ride that is life as I know it, which is not much. At my home group last Thursday, a dear friend I have made in the program happened upon a 3x5 index card holding the page for one of the...	Michelle814	7	640	Feb 21, 2012 by kael1539
	Whitney Houston and understanding addiction as a disease. (Preview) I got into a "discussion" on facebook today with a person who was posting hate posts about Whitney Houston and how we were giving her more attention than she deserved. This person was pointing out how we as a country needed to get our priorites straight and value and recognize our fallen sol...	Overcome	11	874	Feb 21, 2012 by Overcome
	The beloved addict in my life (Preview) I sat here for a long time staring at the smilie box and the empty text box. Here I am, about to write an Al-Anon family group post about someone in my life who is an addict beginning recovery. This is not what I thought I'd be doing on November 17, 2011. I don't know what I figured I would be doing, but you kno...	Skylark	14	660	Feb 21, 2012 by Madm
	Major Slip (Preview) I decided to go watch a movie with my exAH last night. I have't spent much time with him and we both love and miss each other. When I got to his house he was already well into his drinking night and well it went down hill from there. He was trying to make me confess how our marriage ending had very little to do wi...	flopadopilus	14	687	Feb 21, 2012 by flopadopilus
	So depressed (Preview) My brother has ruined my life. I could write you a book right now.....I am very angry and depressed right now....mentally, physical and financially. I never know how bad things were until just recently. It's his attitude that's a killer. He does no wrong, he's nasty, and for some reason I think he thin...	Beyondsick	8	533	Feb 21, 2012 by Wolfie55
	Re-reading posts (Preview) I was just going through some of my older posts on here as I am experiencing some familiar pain. As I read my own words, it brought me back to where I was when I wrote them...it hurts to see where I was and it hurts even more to see how little has changed in the lives of my alcoholics. However, Im proud to say tha...	Corgi2	6	342	Feb 20, 2012 by Breakingfree
	googled my name (Preview) and it led straight to this site. Few other things first, a couple of them me, a couple not me. I understand that I can't change the name so I will be deleting this profile and starting a new one. See you all soon in a new name. I don't know how it got to be my real name, I am not good with computers and stuff and I j...	Lindaoakford	5	495	Feb 20, 2012 by rehprof
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.