Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

xla13ellavita · xla13ellavita

Hi all! I am a newcomer to all of this. I am currently dating for about 2.5 years an addict that is currently in longterm treatment. I have been going to Alanon meetings 4 days a week and they have been helping. I do read the books which are great. But i find myself having bad days, emotional days, etc. Even t...

PosiesandPuppies · PosiesandPuppies

I was looking into some F2F meetings in my area, and one looks promising. It is listed as a "candlelight, participation, handicap-access" meeting. Now I understand the definition of each word, but I was wondering if anyone else has been to a participation meeting. I don't want to go if you are "requi...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Just want to say I have issues problems that all have solutions. God & I together can handle anything as long as I am willing. So I won't complain or share what gets me down. I just want to thank all of you for your support.

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

Asking for a break however not a break up .. this is the first time I have put the brakes on a relationship in this way. It's weird it has nothing to do with how I feel about him .. there is way to much drama going on and he needs to get his stuff straight. I'm coming to a point of I have had enough based upon the f...

Tannersmom · Tannersmom

I so want to sit my AS down and set him straight. Ha ha, setting an addict straight is like jumping from a plane without a shoot, hoping for a gentle landing. I want to say, what have you done in the last 3 years that has been productive? Do you realize how manipulating your AGF is? Do you realize how Manip...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning Everyone- Today's reading is about the sense of safety and security we feel as members of Alanon. Anyone who has lived with or been affected by alcoholism knows that it brings a healthy dose of chaos-- among many other things, the program provides consistency, structure and the expecte...

susieb4547 · susieb4547

My husband is a recovering alcoholic (2 years with a few slip ups). To our friends and family, he is doing great and they are all very proud of him. To me, since I have seen the few times he has gone off the wagon, I resent the appearance he gives to the outside world. He is also quite selfish and does whate...

Curlyblu · Curlyblu

I'm sure it's been talk about before....I'm really missing online meetings. The time threw me for a hoop. For me they are now at 7 am and 7pm....anyone else missing them too?

tiredtonite · tiredtonite

I decided to participate in a two day event to advance my physical, spiritual and emotional wellness. I went out and bought some required things on the last day to register. Even after I bought the stuff, I rationalized that I could use the stuff whether I decided to go or not. How practical of me lol. It w...

Debra55 · Debra55

It is with sadness and a heavy heart I let you all know, John Freifeld, founder of MIP, and my brother passed away on Friday Feb 17th, 2017. RIP John Freifeld. Sorry for the loss of your founder and creator of MIP. Debra G.

Junenine · Junenine

hi, all. my AB has 90+ days sober. and things are better. he's in an OP program plus a vocational rehab program. started therapy and seeing psych. but... he steps out at night, says he's going to the store and i can't help but wonder. things are better. we've been rebuilding. but i don't fully trust him, a...

beeharvs · beeharvs

I don't normally do this, and in fact am not a fan of reaching out online but I figured it is a good place for me to start before I seek out Al-Anon. I have done a ton of research on my own terms about alcoholism and loving an alcoholic and feel as though I am in a whirlwind of emotion at this point. I met my boyfr...

Rickbrins · Rickbrins

Well, I had a great week with my AGF who is fresh out of a 90 day in patient program. She is doing great, wish I could say the same for me. It seemed like at least once a day, I would find myself clinging to feelings and actions that I had when she was in her worst moments in her disease. The good news is that I ca...

makebelieve11 · makebelieve11

Hi everyone - Just to preface, I'm new here, know little about Al-Anon (except what I've read on the web recently), and have never dealt with an A before. My brother-in-law is an alcoholic and has been in and out of rehab for the past few years. He lives 1500 miles away, with a fiancee who is at her wit's en...

jessica1 · jessica1

Hi Everyone! So nice to meet u ;) I am an adult child of an alchoholic mother. I am struggling. I have some sort of mental health condition in which they dont know what it is yet , maybe bipolar. All I know is that I have great trepidation and fear before going to work in the morning. I cry each morning a...

TalieOwl · TalieOwl

What do you do when the alcoholic in your life shows up drunk on your front porch with car keys in hand? He's not allowed in my house because I don't have the space, he scares my animals, and because I don't want to be around him when he's drunk. I've set my boundary, but my boundary does not allow me to let him...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

Today's author describes going to a meeting in a negative mood, evident by noticing the faults in what fellow members said and did. In the spirit of keeping the focus on ourselves, the member looked to change their attitude. To do this, they remembered the purpose of AlAnon: find help, enlightenment...

hotrod · hotrod

The ODA T for March 26 asks the question, why is it so hard to admit that were powerless over alcohol as the first step requires?The reading indicates that many of us argue,the question does it mean powerless over alcohol or over the alcoholic. The reading points out that we should understand tha...

mtk746 · mtk746

How do you set boundaries without it sounding like (or being) an ultimatum? What's the difference?

MissM · MissM

Today's C2c is about defining what is and what is not our responsibility/business. Many of us are very confused about this in the beginning, having grown up or spent years being conditioned to the idea that we are responsible for taking care of every-one else first and ourselves last, if at all. Throu...

YARNCRAZY · YARNCRAZY

BY THE WAY, IM KIND OF HAPPY MOVING IN WITH BOYFRIEND. HE'S A SWEET MAN. GOT AN INTERVIEW TUES FOR A JOB I INTERVIEWED FOR LAST YR. ALSO A COMPANY OUT OF MY AREA WANTED TO INTERVIEW ME....

Husband · Husband

I'd like to find a place where I can talk about my relationship with my wife who is an alcoholic, she's been sober for 3 years. My issue is adult in nature, has to deal with the relationships my wife has made in AA. Have I come to the right place?

_bunny_ · _bunny_

I'm feeling hurt, my heart actually hurts. My co-dependent mother told me she doesn't want to see my 2 young children (ages 7 months and 2 years old) or me anymore because we caused her illness. Huh? Who says that? She has Parkinson's and suffers from the effects of alcoholism. I thought to myself, she'...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading talks about accepting Alcoholism as a disease. The writer had a difficult time seeing it as an illness and felt that if one really wanted to stop drinking then they would/could. A turning point was when a member of Al-Anon compared alcoholism to Alzheimer's disease. We see our lov...

lookingup · lookingup

Today I'm doing my best in showing up, im doing better ,I think, although im mostly reading others shares here instead of shareing myself, im finding it hard either way ,rather it's showing up or shareing. im learning to just show up for events that I want to go to, land share when I feel I need to. im been g...

lookingup · lookingup

Today marks the 4th month of no chaos or Drama in my home or around me , 1st time in my lifetime,it was a part of me ,never served me in anyway ,repeats of crises on going,along with lots of negative feelings ,lots of health problems coming on , i ended up with diverticulitis ,not fun,excrutiating pain of m...

Tannersmom · Tannersmom

This is a time in your life when you must learn to let go: of loved one, of possessions, of control. In order to let go of something that is precious to you, you need to rest in my presence, where you are complete. As you relax more and more, your grasping hand gradually opens up, releasing your prized poss...

tiredtonite · tiredtonite

Shortly after finding Alanon, my alcoholic/addict husband left me. It felt devastating at the time and for a few years in my early recovery. I felt I was a bit like an anomally. So many in my f2f meetings were either still living with active alcoholics, sober ones or had chosen to leave the alcoholic. It...

YARNCRAZY · YARNCRAZY

VERY SCARY FEW DAYS. ER TRIP/STRESS TEST/DOC VISIT. gUESS MY CALM AND SERENITY RAN OUT. DOC SAYS IM VERY STRESSED AND TRYING NEW MEDS. HE SAYS IM SCARED BECAUE IM 60 AND HAVE NO SAFETY NET. IM MOVING IN BOYFRIEND,S HOUSE, HAVE VERY LITTLE MONEY,UNEMPLOYED, OUT OF UNEMPLOYMENT,HAVE A WELFARE FOOD CARD...

starcatcher2 · starcatcher2

Hi.Im back! Ive been gone for awhile trying to re-adjust. Sorry for the lengthy post. Im just looking for some words of encouragement and suggestions. I have read a few post and they really resonated with me. I have been in a relationship with my now exAB for almost two years. Stuck by him continuou...

bchan · bchan

I finally am here and going to meetings because my son, who is a user, has brought me to a place I never thought I would be. I never thought I would be in a position where I am so angry and betrayed that he and I get into a physical altercation. He is a grown man and after that day, I realized I needed help from a gr...

Taraxacum · Taraxacum

The more insanity I recognize around me. The latest episode was my mother. She took care of my son overnight and then drove him to ice cream (yum) and then back towards our house (about an hour away). It was nice, but then I found out from my 5yr old that the car seat wasn't buckled right. They couldn't ge...

Curlyblu · Curlyblu

When you know the person behind the disease, I am finding it is making my choices very difficult. Maybe it is also not allowing me to grow within my program. Knowing I intelligence, the love this person has had for things that were important to them, he respect and gratitude shown for his employer the...

Bettertomorrow · Bettertomorrow

So far, I have been successfully (mostly) detaching; focusing on myself and the children and trying to celebrate the times my AH attends his AA meeting. As he is a non driver, I have given my evenings to ferrying him to and from various meetings. Tonight I just picked him up from his AA meeting and he i...

el-cee · el-cee

It isnt discussed much as an option especially to new people and I understand its because new people are deep in the disease and often haven't got the ration and clarity to make decisions that are right for them based on all the facts or reality. A lot of people get recovery and use the tools to stay with th...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading shares about pain and suffering that results from this disease. For most of us, the disease has contributed to many dashed hopes, broken dreams and considerable pain. While we don't want to dwell on these events, we don't want to turn our back either. It is through the fellowship w...

VickiR · VickiR

Hi everyone, I'm finally posting on this board because I have had a lot of difficulty attending in-person meetings - I'm hoping to have more childcare by the summer but waiting is starting to feel crazy - I have a two year old, and my H is an alcoholic. My mother is a recovered alcoholic and she has been in...

Faith40 · Faith40

I stumbled upon this group a year ago when I was struggling to get to face to face meetings and it's been a blessing. I don't often post, but i regularly read and just hearing 'program speak 'is invaluable . i thought I would officially say hi . Ive had some years of peace due to how severe the drinking of m...

Funkified · Funkified

My husband is in recovery - almost 8 months sober, but his situation was more complex. He was a hardcore binge drinker from age 15 - 24. He quit drinking cold turkey. He decided he'd like to drink again socially after almost 20 years, and started back up December of 2014, and he did great. He never dr...

mamabear2 · mamabear2

Hello my name is Heather and my husband is a newly recovering addict. I am the mama of two small children (hence my incredibly creative username) 2.5 year and 5 month old boys. My husband had a pill addition that he hid very well from me a year and it all came out right after the birth of our youngest son. We h...

Tannersmom · Tannersmom

AS has been working for 2 weeks and 3 days as of today. Living one day at a time. At this point he doesn't have a choice about going to work. He is being dropped off by his dad and picked up by my dad. Just like a little kid going to school. No car, that was totaled last summer. But today is good, he is working and h...

andromeda · andromeda

Has anyone else struggled with this concept? QTIP.....that's one of our Al Anon slogans and the one I struggle with the most! So, yesterday, I finally passed my huge general securities licensing exam. After failing twice, I still hung in there and got an 80% yesterday. I was ecstatic. I was so rea...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

Today's reading considers how living around alcoholism can lead to gradual changes within ourselves, including ignoring or suppressing feelings. We can end up losing our sense of self and drifting somewhere between muted and numb, hoping, waiting, fading... We may more easily recognize where o...

pumkin26 · pumkin26

Yesterday I felt myself wallowing in self-pity and martyrdom. I was in an out of staying present and wallowing. In my truth it was ME that was struggling and although I had certain triggers from my A, it was more me- feeling sorry for myself. I was lucky enough to know a friend at my first F2F meeting and sh...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

God grant me the serenity to except the things I can not change The courage to change the the things I can And the wisdom to know the difference. My son is back in a terrible place. He can't cope with life on Life's terms so he has 3 choices....sobriety, prison or death.

PosiesandPuppies · PosiesandPuppies

Hello All! I am where I thought I would never be again. On the Merry-go-round. Again. Even though I have a lot of venting to do, this post will be some history. Six years ago I found out my H was a meth addict. Fun. The 3 years prior was so hellish, that I was planning on leaving him with my then 10 year-old son....

lookingup · lookingup

I had gotten away from my readings of ctc and odat last several days,gotten myself way off center.im not perfect and won't be in this life I'm striving each day.i get sidetracked with other things like I get caught up with freinds shopping what not. guess I got a one track mind on one thing ,as I'm been bra...

Jubilantgirl · Jubilantgirl

Hello everyone, I'm new to this board and so happy to have found you all. Started practicing the 12 steps again, after about a 10 year hiatus. I thought I could do it all on my own and forgot about the 12 steps. This left me with 10 years of uncovered anger, rage, resentment towards both parents (who are a...

Curlyblu · Curlyblu

Of someone trying to detox? My A is currently been out with a flu. He has medication for it....for some reason I started to wonder if his body was "trying" to detox. Yes I know he can not do it on his own. I'm just wondering because I know how much he normally drinks and hasn't had any in over a week. It has to be...

MissM · MissM

So I'm back with My Him. I expect this information to be met with deathly silence. Also this post is mostly about him. Sorry. My mother came to see me the other day and I told her. She was surprisingly not discouraging. She said, well, he obviously loves you Melissa, but he's uncontrollable. But you love...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning everyone-- Today's reading is about how powerful our attitude is and where it can take us. Many of us gravitate toward the familiar, which depending on our circumstances, may not always be the healthiest for us. Any of us that either grew up in an alcoholic family, married into one, or ha...

El · El

It is 3:15 am. I woke up and immediately started replaying scenes from a family gathering yesterday which made/make me so angry. So, I have been reciting the serenity prayer like a mantra along with steps 1-3. I know I can't carry this into tomorrow, as it will be a new day. AH's siblings were over yest...

Curlyblu · Curlyblu

Frustrating! Living with an active A, is to, say the least, and polietly, frustrating. I try so hard to practice the pause, before I say things I normally would. Even when he is dry, I pause before I respond to something completely stupid he has said. Like last night, we had been having a decent conversa...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

Today's reading focuses on the spiritual nature of our Higher Power (HP). We are encouraged to choose a HP of our own understanding, a god as we are familiar with or simply a program concept. What gives it power as a spiritual concept is our willingness to humbly acknowledge something greater and more...

hotrod · hotrod

The ODA T reading for March 19 speaks about living one day at a time. It points out that Al-Anon is a 24 hour programso that by living in this manner we receive the comfort and assurance that we need in the moment and in the day and do not burden ourselves with the woes of the past or worries of the fut...

Rickbrins · Rickbrins

Today I am cleaning our house and preparing for my loves release from her 90 day program. I have hope and trust in both my HP and hers that she will return home in a much better state than when she left. I want great things for us both, I want that future that looked so bright years ago but seemed impossible on...

Rickbrins · Rickbrins

Ok, so I clearly have had far too much time to myself in that dangerous section of my mind.... I have been very happy, my AGF has been in her 90 day inpatient program and appears to be doing very well, Her release date is tentatively scheduled for Monday (More about that later) and I am thrilled that she...

Isthisreallife · Isthisreallife

This is my first time here. My husband is a high functioning alcoholic. He admits it but won't get help. We've been married almost 7 years and he's been this way for 4 1/2. We have two children and I try my hardest to keep them shielded but they're getting old enough to notice. I'm so fed up I don't know what t...

laketime · laketime

Greetings. Not really sure where to start. Husband of 19 years is an alcoholic. Hides it well, most of our friends don't have a clue....at least I don't think they do. Things have worsened as of late. We have 2 kids. I'm so tired of being "on guard" all the time and getting that sick-in-the-pit-of...

Lyne · Lyne

About two hours ago, I had the most ridiculous , circular, and unproductive discussion with my A. There is no logic, reasoning, understanding, or progress. It's almost as though I am speaking to someone who doesn't know English. The good news is that I stayed calm, didn't fight, didn't walk away,...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Im a newcomer and need some advice.. (Preview) Hi all! I am a newcomer to all of this. I am currently dating for about 2.5 years an addict that is currently in longterm treatment. I have been going to Alanon meetings 4 days a week and they have been helping. I do read the books which are great. But i find myself having bad days, emotional days, etc. Even t...	xla13ellavita	2	483	Mar 29, 2017 by Iamhere
	Can anyone tell me what a "participation" meeting is? (Preview) I was looking into some F2F meetings in my area, and one looks promising. It is listed as a "candlelight, participation, handicap-access" meeting. Now I understand the definition of each word, but I was wondering if anyone else has been to a participation meeting. I don't want to go if you are "requi...	PosiesandPuppies	6	621	Mar 28, 2017 by PosiesandPuppies
	Another day another issue (Preview) Just want to say I have issues problems that all have solutions. God & I together can handle anything as long as I am willing. So I won't complain or share what gets me down. I just want to thank all of you for your support.	Hoot Nanny	3	552	Mar 28, 2017 by hotrod
	Need a little space .. (Preview) Asking for a break however not a break up .. this is the first time I have put the brakes on a relationship in this way. It's weird it has nothing to do with how I feel about him .. there is way to much drama going on and he needs to get his stuff straight. I'm coming to a point of I have had enough based upon the f...	SerenityRUS	21	794	Mar 28, 2017 by andromeda
	Bite my tongue (Preview) I so want to sit my AS down and set him straight. Ha ha, setting an addict straight is like jumping from a plane without a shoot, hoping for a gentle landing. I want to say, what have you done in the last 3 years that has been productive? Do you realize how manipulating your AGF is? Do you realize how Manip...	Tannersmom	3	3838	Mar 28, 2017 by Iamhere
	Hope for Today Mar 28 (Preview) Good morning Everyone- Today's reading is about the sense of safety and security we feel as members of Alanon. Anyone who has lived with or been affected by alcoholism knows that it brings a healthy dose of chaos-- among many other things, the program provides consistency, structure and the expecte...	yanksfan51	3	651	Mar 28, 2017 by Iamhere
	Recovering but selfish (Preview) My husband is a recovering alcoholic (2 years with a few slip ups). To our friends and family, he is doing great and they are all very proud of him. To me, since I have seen the few times he has gone off the wagon, I resent the appearance he gives to the outside world. He is also quite selfish and does whate...	susieb4547	13	757	Mar 28, 2017 by SerenityRUS
	Missing online meetings (Preview) I'm sure it's been talk about before....I'm really missing online meetings. The time threw me for a hoop. For me they are now at 7 am and 7pm....anyone else missing them too?	Curlyblu	3	466	Mar 28, 2017 by Curlyblu
	Living Fully (Preview) I decided to participate in a two day event to advance my physical, spiritual and emotional wellness. I went out and bought some required things on the last day to register. Even after I bought the stuff, I rationalized that I could use the stuff whether I decided to go or not. How practical of me lol. It w...	tiredtonite	4	885	Mar 28, 2017 by el-cee
	RIP John Freifeld (Preview) It is with sadness and a heavy heart I let you all know, John Freifeld, founder of MIP, and my brother passed away on Friday Feb 17th, 2017. RIP John Freifeld. Sorry for the loss of your founder and creator of MIP. Debra G.	Debra55	22	1098	Mar 27, 2017 by Junenine
	better but.... (Preview) hi, all. my AB has 90+ days sober. and things are better. he's in an OP program plus a vocational rehab program. started therapy and seeing psych. but... he steps out at night, says he's going to the store and i can't help but wonder. things are better. we've been rebuilding. but i don't fully trust him, a...	Junenine	11	892	Mar 27, 2017 by Junenine
	I am new to this, thanks for reading! (Preview) I don't normally do this, and in fact am not a fan of reaching out online but I figured it is a good place for me to start before I seek out Al-Anon. I have done a ton of research on my own terms about alcoholism and loving an alcoholic and feel as though I am in a whirlwind of emotion at this point. I met my boyfr...	beeharvs	3	581	Mar 27, 2017 by Junenine
	The Ghost of feelings Past (Preview) Well, I had a great week with my AGF who is fresh out of a 90 day in patient program. She is doing great, wish I could say the same for me. It seemed like at least once a day, I would find myself clinging to feelings and actions that I had when she was in her worst moments in her disease. The good news is that I ca...	Rickbrins	8	677	Mar 27, 2017 by Junenine
	Struggles with A-in-law (Preview) Hi everyone - Just to preface, I'm new here, know little about Al-Anon (except what I've read on the web recently), and have never dealt with an A before. My brother-in-law is an alcoholic and has been in and out of rehab for the past few years. He lives 1500 miles away, with a fiancee who is at her wit's en...	makebelieve11	13	749	Mar 27, 2017 by makebelieve11
	New and struggling (Preview) Hi Everyone! So nice to meet u ;) I am an adult child of an alchoholic mother. I am struggling. I have some sort of mental health condition in which they dont know what it is yet , maybe bipolar. All I know is that I have great trepidation and fear before going to work in the morning. I cry each morning a...	jessica1	3	585	Mar 27, 2017 by tiredtonite
	Advice requested: When he shows up drunk (Preview) What do you do when the alcoholic in your life shows up drunk on your front porch with car keys in hand? He's not allowed in my house because I don't have the space, he scares my animals, and because I don't want to be around him when he's drunk. I've set my boundary, but my boundary does not allow me to let him...	TalieOwl	13	574	Mar 27, 2017 by TalieOwl
	3/27/17 One Day at a Time in AlAnon (Preview) Today's author describes going to a meeting in a negative mood, evident by noticing the faults in what fellow members said and did. In the spirit of keeping the focus on ourselves, the member looked to change their attitude. To do this, they remembered the purpose of AlAnon: find help, enlightenment...	Enigmatic	4	713	Mar 27, 2017 by Iamhere
	ODAT Reading 3-26-2017 (Preview) The ODA T for March 26 asks the question, why is it so hard to admit that were powerless over alcohol as the first step requires?The reading indicates that many of us argue,the question does it mean powerless over alcohol or over the alcoholic. The reading points out that we should understand tha...	hotrod	3	1543	Mar 27, 2017 by Iamhere
	Boundaries (Preview) How do you set boundaries without it sounding like (or being) an ultimatum? What's the difference?	mtk746	12	1300	Mar 27, 2017 by Iamhere
	Courage To Change 25/3 (Preview) Today's C2c is about defining what is and what is not our responsibility/business. Many of us are very confused about this in the beginning, having grown up or spent years being conditioned to the idea that we are responsible for taking care of every-one else first and ourselves last, if at all. Throu...	MissM	5	599	Mar 26, 2017 by hotrod
	GLIMMER OF HOPE (Preview) BY THE WAY, IM KIND OF HAPPY MOVING IN WITH BOYFRIEND. HE'S A SWEET MAN. GOT AN INTERVIEW TUES FOR A JOB I INTERVIEWED FOR LAST YR. ALSO A COMPANY OUT OF MY AREA WANTED TO INTERVIEW ME....	YARNCRAZY	4	547	Mar 25, 2017 by Jerry F
	I'm new, is this a place I can be brutally honest? (Preview) I'd like to find a place where I can talk about my relationship with my wife who is an alcoholic, she's been sober for 3 years. My issue is adult in nature, has to deal with the relationships my wife has made in AA. Have I come to the right place?	Husband	8	637	Mar 25, 2017 by Jerry F
	The family disease of alcoholism (Preview) I'm feeling hurt, my heart actually hurts. My co-dependent mother told me she doesn't want to see my 2 young children (ages 7 months and 2 years old) or me anymore because we caused her illness. Huh? Who says that? She has Parkinson's and suffers from the effects of alcoholism. I thought to myself, she'...	_bunny_	9	1283	Mar 25, 2017 by Iamhere
	Courage to Change (C2C) 3/24/17 (Preview) Today's reading talks about accepting Alcoholism as a disease. The writer had a difficult time seeing it as an illness and felt that if one really wanted to stop drinking then they would/could. A turning point was when a member of Al-Anon compared alcoholism to Alzheimer's disease. We see our lov...	Iamhere	7	615	Mar 25, 2017 by Iamhere
	Showing up (Preview) Today I'm doing my best in showing up, im doing better ,I think, although im mostly reading others shares here instead of shareing myself, im finding it hard either way ,rather it's showing up or shareing. im learning to just show up for events that I want to go to, land share when I feel I need to. im been g...	lookingup	7	2345	Mar 25, 2017 by lookingup
	No more chaos or Drama (Preview) Today marks the 4th month of no chaos or Drama in my home or around me , 1st time in my lifetime,it was a part of me ,never served me in anyway ,repeats of crises on going,along with lots of negative feelings ,lots of health problems coming on , i ended up with diverticulitis ,not fun,excrutiating pain of m...	lookingup	8	1212	Mar 25, 2017 by lookingup
	Let Go (Preview) This is a time in your life when you must learn to let go: of loved one, of possessions, of control. In order to let go of something that is precious to you, you need to rest in my presence, where you are complete. As you relax more and more, your grasping hand gradually opens up, releasing your prized poss...	Tannersmom	4	513	Mar 24, 2017 by Iamhere
	Being Left Happens Too (Preview) Shortly after finding Alanon, my alcoholic/addict husband left me. It felt devastating at the time and for a few years in my early recovery. I felt I was a bit like an anomally. So many in my f2f meetings were either still living with active alcoholics, sober ones or had chosen to leave the alcoholic. It...	tiredtonite	7	484	Mar 24, 2017 by bud
	PANIC/STRESS HEART PAIN (Preview) VERY SCARY FEW DAYS. ER TRIP/STRESS TEST/DOC VISIT. gUESS MY CALM AND SERENITY RAN OUT. DOC SAYS IM VERY STRESSED AND TRYING NEW MEDS. HE SAYS IM SCARED BECAUE IM 60 AND HAVE NO SAFETY NET. IM MOVING IN BOYFRIEND,S HOUSE, HAVE VERY LITTLE MONEY,UNEMPLOYED, OUT OF UNEMPLOYMENT,HAVE A WELFARE FOOD CARD...	YARNCRAZY	10	2155	Mar 24, 2017 by bud
	Not my Monkey, Not my Circus.... Betrayal Emotional Cheating Alcoholic abandonment (Preview) Hi.Im back! Ive been gone for awhile trying to re-adjust. Sorry for the lengthy post. Im just looking for some words of encouragement and suggestions. I have read a few post and they really resonated with me. I have been in a relationship with my now exAB for almost two years. Stuck by him continuou...	starcatcher2	6	7899	Mar 24, 2017 by starcatcher2
	THIS IS NEW TO ME (Preview) I finally am here and going to meetings because my son, who is a user, has brought me to a place I never thought I would be. I never thought I would be in a position where I am so angry and betrayed that he and I get into a physical altercation. He is a grown man and after that day, I realized I needed help from a gr...	bchan	6	2685	Mar 24, 2017 by _bunny_
	The heathier I get . . . (Preview) The more insanity I recognize around me. The latest episode was my mother. She took care of my son overnight and then drove him to ice cream (yum) and then back towards our house (about an hour away). It was nice, but then I found out from my 5yr old that the car seat wasn't buckled right. They couldn't ge...	Taraxacum	11	642	Mar 24, 2017 by Taraxacum
	Typing out loud (Preview) When you know the person behind the disease, I am finding it is making my choices very difficult. Maybe it is also not allowing me to grow within my program. Knowing I intelligence, the love this person has had for things that were important to them, he respect and gratitude shown for his employer the...	Curlyblu	3	431	Mar 23, 2017 by Curlyblu
	Need to vent.... (Preview) So far, I have been successfully (mostly) detaching; focusing on myself and the children and trying to celebrate the times my AH attends his AA meeting. As he is a non driver, I have given my evenings to ferrying him to and from various meetings. Tonight I just picked him up from his AA meeting and he i...	Bettertomorrow	9	618	Mar 23, 2017 by Jerry F
	Leaving is an option! (Preview) It isnt discussed much as an option especially to new people and I understand its because new people are deep in the disease and often haven't got the ration and clarity to make decisions that are right for them based on all the facts or reality. A lot of people get recovery and use the tools to stay with th...	el-cee	7	678	Mar 23, 2017 by Enigmatic
	Courage to Change (C2C) 3/23/17 (Preview) Today's reading shares about pain and suffering that results from this disease. For most of us, the disease has contributed to many dashed hopes, broken dreams and considerable pain. While we don't want to dwell on these events, we don't want to turn our back either. It is through the fellowship w...	Iamhere	5	2908	Mar 23, 2017 by shrnp
	First Post - total newbie (Preview) Hi everyone, I'm finally posting on this board because I have had a lot of difficulty attending in-person meetings - I'm hoping to have more childcare by the summer but waiting is starting to feel crazy - I have a two year old, and my H is an alcoholic. My mother is a recovered alcoholic and she has been in...	VickiR	7	545	Mar 23, 2017 by pumkin26
	Newbie ish .. (Preview) I stumbled upon this group a year ago when I was struggling to get to face to face meetings and it's been a blessing. I don't often post, but i regularly read and just hearing 'program speak 'is invaluable . i thought I would officially say hi . Ive had some years of peace due to how severe the drinking of m...	Faith40	3	402	Mar 23, 2017 by hotrod
	Awkward (Preview) My husband is in recovery - almost 8 months sober, but his situation was more complex. He was a hardcore binge drinker from age 15 - 24. He quit drinking cold turkey. He decided he'd like to drink again socially after almost 20 years, and started back up December of 2014, and he did great. He never dr...	Funkified	8	664	Mar 22, 2017 by Iamhere
	Struggling with knowing if Al-anon is for me (Preview) Hello my name is Heather and my husband is a newly recovering addict. I am the mama of two small children (hence my incredibly creative username) 2.5 year and 5 month old boys. My husband had a pill addition that he hid very well from me a year and it all came out right after the birth of our youngest son. We h...	mamabear2	16	837	Mar 22, 2017 by Funkified
	2 weeks and 3 days (Preview) AS has been working for 2 weeks and 3 days as of today. Living one day at a time. At this point he doesn't have a choice about going to work. He is being dropped off by his dad and picked up by my dad. Just like a little kid going to school. No car, that was totaled last summer. But today is good, he is working and h...	Tannersmom	4	554	Mar 22, 2017 by Cathyinaz
	Being too 'sensitive'/taking things personally (Preview) Has anyone else struggled with this concept? QTIP.....that's one of our Al Anon slogans and the one I struggle with the most! So, yesterday, I finally passed my huge general securities licensing exam. After failing twice, I still hung in there and got an 80% yesterday. I was ecstatic. I was so rea...	andromeda	16	2644	Mar 22, 2017 by likemyheart
	3-22-17 Courage to Change (Preview) Today's reading considers how living around alcoholism can lead to gradual changes within ourselves, including ignoring or suppressing feelings. We can end up losing our sense of self and drifting somewhere between muted and numb, hoping, waiting, fading... We may more easily recognize where o...	Enigmatic	5	598	Mar 22, 2017 by Iamhere
	Being Easy on Me... (Preview) Yesterday I felt myself wallowing in self-pity and martyrdom. I was in an out of staying present and wallowing. In my truth it was ME that was struggling and although I had certain triggers from my A, it was more me- feeling sorry for myself. I was lucky enough to know a friend at my first F2F meeting and sh...	pumkin26	7	630	Mar 22, 2017 by Iamhere
	It has started again (Preview) God grant me the serenity to except the things I can not change The courage to change the the things I can And the wisdom to know the difference. My son is back in a terrible place. He can't cope with life on Life's terms so he has 3 choices....sobriety, prison or death.	Cathyinaz	17	1618	Mar 22, 2017 by Cathyinaz
	Well, I'm Back (Preview) Hello All! I am where I thought I would never be again. On the Merry-go-round. Again. Even though I have a lot of venting to do, this post will be some history. Six years ago I found out my H was a meth addict. Fun. The 3 years prior was so hellish, that I was planning on leaving him with my then 10 year-old son....	PosiesandPuppies	8	642	Mar 21, 2017 by Jerry F
	Daily readings (Preview) I had gotten away from my readings of ctc and odat last several days,gotten myself way off center.im not perfect and won't be in this life I'm striving each day.i get sidetracked with other things like I get caught up with freinds shopping what not. guess I got a one track mind on one thing ,as I'm been bra...	lookingup	3	2585	Mar 21, 2017 by lookingup
	Resentment towards alcoholic parents (Preview) Hello everyone, I'm new to this board and so happy to have found you all. Started practicing the 12 steps again, after about a 10 year hiatus. I thought I could do it all on my own and forgot about the 12 steps. This left me with 10 years of uncovered anger, rage, resentment towards both parents (who are a...	Jubilantgirl	6	986	Mar 21, 2017 by shrnp
	Curious...what the signs/symptoms (Preview) Of someone trying to detox? My A is currently been out with a flu. He has medication for it....for some reason I started to wonder if his body was "trying" to detox. Yes I know he can not do it on his own. I'm just wondering because I know how much he normally drinks and hasn't had any in over a week. It has to be...	Curlyblu	16	3395	Mar 21, 2017 by Curlyblu
	The Goldilocks Zone (Preview) So I'm back with My Him. I expect this information to be met with deathly silence. Also this post is mostly about him. Sorry. My mother came to see me the other day and I told her. She was surprisingly not discouraging. She said, well, he obviously loves you Melissa, but he's uncontrollable. But you love...	MissM	15	747	Mar 21, 2017 by likemyheart
	Hope for Today March 21 (Preview) Good morning everyone-- Today's reading is about how powerful our attitude is and where it can take us. Many of us gravitate toward the familiar, which depending on our circumstances, may not always be the healthiest for us. Any of us that either grew up in an alcoholic family, married into one, or ha...	yanksfan51	5	564	Mar 21, 2017 by Stan1
	Letting go of anger to start a new day (Preview) It is 3:15 am. I woke up and immediately started replaying scenes from a family gathering yesterday which made/make me so angry. So, I have been reciting the serenity prayer like a mantra along with steps 1-3. I know I can't carry this into tomorrow, as it will be a new day. AH's siblings were over yest...	El	8	609	Mar 21, 2017 by sunmustshine
	Needing to vent.....might sound petty....still learning to deal (Preview) Frustrating! Living with an active A, is to, say the least, and polietly, frustrating. I try so hard to practice the pause, before I say things I normally would. Even when he is dry, I pause before I respond to something completely stupid he has said. Like last night, we had been having a decent conversa...	Curlyblu	10	573	Mar 20, 2017 by Curlyblu
	3/20/17 Courage to Change (Preview) Today's reading focuses on the spiritual nature of our Higher Power (HP). We are encouraged to choose a HP of our own understanding, a god as we are familiar with or simply a program concept. What gives it power as a spiritual concept is our willingness to humbly acknowledge something greater and more...	Enigmatic	3	527	Mar 20, 2017 by Iamhere
	ODAT 3-19-2017 (Preview) The ODA T reading for March 19 speaks about living one day at a time. It points out that Al-Anon is a 24 hour programso that by living in this manner we receive the comfort and assurance that we need in the moment and in the day and do not burden ourselves with the woes of the past or worries of the fut...	hotrod	3	695	Mar 20, 2017 by Iamhere
	Today I have hope (Preview) Today I am cleaning our house and preparing for my loves release from her 90 day program. I have hope and trust in both my HP and hers that she will return home in a much better state than when she left. I want great things for us both, I want that future that looked so bright years ago but seemed impossible on...	Rickbrins	5	542	Mar 20, 2017 by Iamhere
	Pink Cloud? (Preview) Ok, so I clearly have had far too much time to myself in that dangerous section of my mind.... I have been very happy, my AGF has been in her 90 day inpatient program and appears to be doing very well, Her release date is tentatively scheduled for Monday (More about that later) and I am thrilled that she...	Rickbrins	8	4734	Mar 20, 2017 by Iamhere
	Enough (Preview) This is my first time here. My husband is a high functioning alcoholic. He admits it but won't get help. We've been married almost 7 years and he's been this way for 4 1/2. We have two children and I try my hardest to keep them shielded but they're getting old enough to notice. I'm so fed up I don't know what t...	Isthisreallife	5	627	Mar 19, 2017 by hotrod
	not really sure where to start (Preview) Greetings. Not really sure where to start. Husband of 19 years is an alcoholic. Hides it well, most of our friends don't have a clue....at least I don't think they do. Things have worsened as of late. We have 2 kids. I'm so tired of being "on guard" all the time and getting that sick-in-the-pit-of...	laketime	8	647	Mar 19, 2017 by Rickbrins
	Talking to an A (Preview) About two hours ago, I had the most ridiculous , circular, and unproductive discussion with my A. There is no logic, reasoning, understanding, or progress. It's almost as though I am speaking to someone who doesn't know English. The good news is that I stayed calm, didn't fight, didn't walk away,...	Lyne	5	586	Mar 19, 2017 by Rickbrins
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.