Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

smileycat · smileycat

I think I am getting this Fourth Step, But want to know why it hurts? I have found another defect of my and it realy hurts. I have come to understand that I do not get told that I am worth it much and can handle not being told. As i know that i am worth it and a lot more. So here is the question why does it hurt to be to...

Becky1 · Becky1

Once I let go and Let God, my life got so much better. As you know, I left my AH of 8 years marriage, 11+ years of relationship. It was the hardest thing I've ever done. I endured mental abuse, some physical abuse, the worst of name calling, threats, family discord between my grown daughter, her husband,...

maresie · maresie

This is not alanon material but I hope it will help someone. I am seeing it as inspiration to celebrate each day. Wage peace with your breath. Breathe in firemen and rubble, breathe out whole buildings and flocks of red wing blackbirds. Breathe in terrorists and breathe out sleeping children and fr...

Rora · Rora

I really hope I can gain some perspective here... As you may know, Ah has been gone from the house 2 wks. We have a 4 yr old son. Ah has been providing before school care to son, but because a recent driving with son incident (official day of our most recent split) Ah, doesn't have any other "visitat...

Codependent · Codependent

Well, the A got arrested AGAIN. This time for driving on revoked. Granted he is on probation. None of this is my business. However, of course relapsing myself, I make it my business to find out from hims mom what is going on. Find out that a friend of his and his ex ex girlfriend are going to pick him up...

Jennifer · Jennifer

Hello everyone, I had to make a decision to tell my AexH that as much as I wanted to stay on friendly terms, allowing him to see Sully and stay in contact with me, it has just not worked out. Last week I had told him the condition the Doc's are believing I have ... it is not a good prognosis in many cases, inclu...

Rora · Rora

I've been separated from my Ah for 2 1/2 weeks. I am sad. I am very very sad. Sometimes I feel liberated about moving forward. Other times I want to run back to the place I was in, no matter how bad it was, just to have that sense of "normalcy" back. Sometimes I think that my relationship with my...

wildthang86 · wildthang86

Let me first start by saying that I am trying to sort out my feelings about a situation that just occured. Input is appreciated for sure!! My AH is really having a hard time, more than usual, matabolising his alcohol. It may be because of all of the meds he is on for his heart and high blood pressure. It does...

notsonew1111 · notsonew1111

so i wrote a post the other day about my relationship with my codependent bf. he is not an alcoholic or addict but is a acoa and definatly codependent. anyways i see alot of my same behaviors in this relationship as i did when i was with my a. should i be treating him in the same manner i would treat an a??? in...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I AM SAD TO SAY THAT MY CAT DIED LAST NIGHT. SHE WAS THE LAST OF OUR INSIDE CATS. SHE WAS MY FAVORITE OF ALL MY CATS. I AM VERY SAD TODAY. SHE STRUGGLED ALL LAST NIGHT BUT COULDN'T MAKE IT. SHE HAD SEIZURES & KEPT FALLING. I WITNESSED ALL OF IT, TOO. BY THE WAY, SHE IS THE CAT THAT I HAD TROUBLE WITH BEFOR...

Becky1 · Becky1

After a minor setback yesterday, when I panicked a wee little tiny bit, I am feeling much better today. For one thing, this sinus infection is getting much better, I went to work today, and no longer feel all weepy and out of sorts. Thanks to everyone for their ESH, it helps more than you can ever know! It i...

Becky1 · Becky1

After enduring years and years of abuse, I have now fallen in love HARD with someone new. He is everything I ever wanted in a man. The only thing is we live 30 miles apart, which isn't that far, but he has responsibilities at his home, as he moved back in with his parents after his divorce a year ago, and they...

christinajeanne · christinajeanne

6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character. To me step 6 means that others cannot change me. Others cannot remove my behaviors and problems. Just like I cannot control others behaviors they cannot control mine. I don't have to do anything. I just want to want to change. I am...

christinajeanne · christinajeanne

I used and sometimes still am a people pleaser. I am trying to fulfill others needs and many times I forget about myself and taking care of me. I give and give until I'm exhausted and then when no one says thanks I get upset. Sometimes I help people trying to help and people still get mad at me. But, that's li...

debilyn · debilyn

Sometimes I really need to get these out as they tear me up! My life is good, roof no longer leaks, got it so the cats are in by invitation only,got to see my son sunday and get hugged! (o: But my night,even though I was in a very soft feather bed,clean sheets and clean dogs and cats....was tormented by night...

notsonew1111 · notsonew1111

just starting this topic to hear how others detach and how they deal with anger or rage. please share

smileycat · smileycat

Hi when you set boundries you set them so you or noone goes to far, I understand this. how do you start to set them and know when others have gone over them? I know i need to set boundries and i know how to set so. I am haveing troble in this areas as my A has some mental problems. this mental problems are givin...

liljeannie · liljeannie

'Twas the night before discharge I sat in my house Counting all the ways he behaved like a louse I open my "toolbox" examining each one then replace them in order to get the task done This will not come as an easy feat I am putting a loved one out on the street I am a woman who thru experience has gro...

Fifi · Fifi

I am shakey and upset. I had re-connected with my ex BF A....lots of "healing" talking/sharing/etc . We hadn't been in touch since he moved out sober a year and a half ago. He is a handyman and after offering many times with me hesitating, I said yes, you can do work on my house. I need it done - I t...

curlee-girl · curlee-girl

I finally get the concept of taking the focus off the A and placing it on myself. For some reason, I always thought of it as the focus being on him during our interactions. Then I realized I have a strong tendency to think about him, almost to the point of obsession. We're separated but I began to realize...

Jennifer · Jennifer

Hello Everyone, I want to share and give thanks for my little miracles this week. I awoke in alot of pain the other day. Bypassing my urge to just let it go I called my doctor and she was oncall with no appointments, was fit in ... full testing and MRI with 15 minutes notice it normally takes weeks ... perha...

slowlearner · slowlearner

I am writing this post because my husband (who is an alcoholic) is also very Catholic. I am also a religious person but not where I feel that I have to go to church every week. I have God in my life everyday in my own way. But anyway my H becomes very upset when I do not choose to go to church and also guilts an...

david62 · david62

Happy Friday ((((Family)))), At my ftf meeting last night the topic was "Taking Care of Ourselves". One of the directions this topic started carrying those sharing was taking care of ourselves by learning to relax. In the 4 and a half years I have been coming to al-anon, I have gone throu...

liljeannie · liljeannie

I dont know where to begin. I spoke with abf's mom earlier today as I still had not heard from him and was beginning to have some uneasy feelings. She told me that he would be coming home on Monday. I was shocked, he has only been in his program for 3 weeks yet it is a 6 week program. I guess his insurance ra...

gknee · gknee

Hi everyone- its been a tough week. It feels that each day brings the inevitability of divorce closer. I want it but I don't. So now I've picked up food again-- my old friend to numb the pain and distract me from all that must be done. I really don't want to do this again. I lost 50 lbs in the past year by taking...

notsonew1111 · notsonew1111

hey all its been a while since i wrote here but i remember at a better time in my life i used to always come here and it helped so much. you all really wernt lying when you said if you stop working the program your misery will be refunded. anyways so thats where im at now. not with an a anymore but with someone ju...

needhelpnow · needhelpnow

MY "FIANCE" THAT I HAVE BEEN WITH FOR 6 YEARS AND ALSO HAVE 2 DAUGHTERS (3 1/2 AND 8 MONTHS) WITH HAS BEEN STRUGGLING WITH A ALCOHOL AND DRUG ADDICTION FOR MOST OF HIS LIFE. I HAVE RECENTLY FOUND OUT THE REALITY OF HIS DRUG ABUSE AND HE KEEPS TELLING ME THAT HE IS GOING TO STOP. I KNOW HE HAS TRIE...

smileycat · smileycat

I have a question on the four step. Question is how do you know that you are doing a moral inventory or just repeating what others have said to you all you live? I am am ACOA, with am A. H.,so i have lived in A all my live and there is time that I do not really know how I feel about things because I have lisen to oth...

LEEA · LEEA

I have come to the realization that this is the best place for me to get honest, and carefully thought out answers to the hard questions. The question I am about to ask isn't about my A, but about my "take charge" attitude. I have always been the family "fixer". They dump their p...

razzberry · razzberry

My son is a recovering addict and alcoholic...age 22. He has been through ip/op treatment, residential treatment, halfway house, meetings after meetings. He shares an apartment with another person who has relapsed and is currently using. Every day with my son is a drama...I really could use so...

Tenderheartsks · Tenderheartsks

The last two weeks I've been more fatigued than usual (I also have chronic fatigue syndrome). I have been sleeping all through the night, but waking up earlier than usual. Last week I got a cold sore, which is always the first indication I've gotten run down. This morning I got up with a very sore throa...

LEEA · LEEA

I have come to the realization that this is the best place for me to get honest, and carefully thought out answers to the hard questions. The question I am about to ask isn't about my A, but about my "take charge" attitude. I have always been the family "fixer". They dump their p...

christinajeanne · christinajeanne

But, I love reading peoples shares. They always give me some insight and something new to ponder. I get to see how to work the steps better and the slogans give me something to think about. I then ponder and use the tools in al-anon. I feel like when I give I always receive something in return. In al-anon an...

ddub · ddub

Step by step, new thoughts take root and somehow, someway, things change slowly with fits and starts..... sort of like magic. I think it's those miracles Jerry keeps reminding us about. Exhausting work but worthy work too. I am now aware of when I get myself spinning in thought and then actions. I h...

Rocky38 · Rocky38

Hi MIP family, I'm home alone this evening and thought I'd come visit the board. I feel like posting, and realize that this is a very strange post for me. Usually I post when I'm in the middle of some crisis. I come seeking help and support, and you all are there for me. THANK YOU. But tonight, I have no crisi...

christinajeanne · christinajeanne

While these past two days I've been dealing with criticism from my aunt and other people who I don't know very well. At first it made me feel bad because I do have low self esteem and I felt the criticism was unnecessary. But the slogan "live and let live" made me realize that my aunt and others...

christinajeanne · christinajeanne

I am not usually the leader in my household. Usually it is my mom who takes care of the bills and so on. But after our financial crisis my mom is still not stepping up and taking responsibility. I am not going to lie it does upset me. But, when she was in control she didn't tell anyone what was going on until w...

hurtnfedup · hurtnfedup

Well, my story is pretty long but to make it a short version here it goes... I met and fell in love with my husband 5 years ago we married soon after. We are in our early 30's and use to go out a lot with friends drinking. I didn't think he had a problem at the time- even though i found out after he had 4 dui's and sp...

Rora · Rora

Today celebrates (yes, celebrates!) the 2 week mark since my Ah moved out. We have a 4 yr old together and so we still have regular contact. As far as where we are going from here,I do not know! What I do know is that I am more at peace. My irregular heart palpatations have significantly reduced. My son...

liljeannie · liljeannie

Hello all, I havent spoken to abf for a couple of days. Not since our last conversation where I came out and directly stated how I felt about the things he was asking of me. I believe I mentioned that he didnt seem too happy. Apparently, I was right on the money. He spoke w/his mom during a conference ca...

kitty · kitty

I haven't been able to get into the chat room. Is there a glitch on the server/site or is it just me?

newanon · newanon

I am so new. Took a day off work so I could go to a face to face group yesterday, but all the groups in a 30 mile radius are either when I am supposed to be at work or too late at night... 7pm, an hour away from my home. So, I turn to the miracle of the internet? My father is a dry A (but wasn't in my life hardly...

Robinks · Robinks

I went to the chatroom yesterday afternoon several times and there was no one there. no one there this morning, what is going on?

binohio · binohio

I have seen (on this board) and heard (at meetings) a lot about loving oneself. SoI guess my question is what does that look like? I grew up in an alcoholic home my first qualifier was my dad. Two days after I graduated from high school I married my second qualifier; I have known him since I was sixteen. We...

ddub · ddub

This really helped me today and wanted to share it with all of you. Hope does not usually come as the just reward for our hard work and struggle. It comes as a gift. The experience of hope is very much like the experience of receiving a surprise gift that is perfectly suited to our needs. A really good gift...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

Well, many of you know the history with my teen daughter and my fears about her exhibiting alcoholic/addict behavior. So she is very in your face and thinks she can say or do whatever she wants with no consequences and I have no way to enforce rules. Last night she got in trouble for shoplifting with he...

Tenderheartsks · Tenderheartsks

I'm down to crunch time in college, only one month left and 3 finals to take, 4 class projects, and an oral exam in medical terminology, plus the daily assignments in all 5 classes. I've had some issues recently with my untreated ACOA dad, and my mom who is still in toxic mode. I've had to keep turning that...

christinajeanne · christinajeanne

I have had a lot of resentment towards my aunt over the years. Mostly because of her verbal and emotional abuses towards me. It also frustrates me because I work for her and she always tells me what I should do work and non work related. But, today I decided to detach from her. I did was she asked me to do work...

christinajeanne · christinajeanne

5. Admitted to God, to ourselves and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs. I have been working step 4 asking myself questions and taking an inventory. It is not always easy to look at ourselves. I'm looking at both the good and not so good qualities about myself. Today I was talking on the...

joyoma · joyoma

I will be having surgery next Wednesday, 11/12/08 to remove the recurring tumor in my leg. Brachytherapy (internal radiation) will be used as part of my treatment. Please remember me and my family, especially my son and grandchild, as I step aside for a week or so to try and defeat this disease. Tak...

smileycat · smileycat

Hi all I am having a bad moment at this time. my A of 21 years thinks that just because he is in recovery that all the problems for the past need to stay in the past. that the reaction of the other poeple in the house has nothing to to with the fact that me live in the family diesae of A. he wants to think that are...

mzkels · mzkels

Hello all I am new to your forum... I figured I needed some help.. but meetings in my area are hours away. I dont know who to talk to - or where to turn. I cant seem to figure out when its safe to trust that my world willnot be upset by my alcholic husband. I am freaked... because I know my anger and need to cont...

weggie · weggie

I physically can't take it anymore. I have been away from this board for awhile, thinking I know all and can handle it. I have realized,,not so much. I have given everything over to my God and I trust him completely. I have come to the end,,,I have found out that my husband is not only an alcholic but a g...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

I'm a newbie here so you'll have to forgive all the questions-lol, but I'm still learning....and probally always will be. My question is this......is there a workbook or a certain book/tool for working the steps??? Want to begin but not quite sure where or how.....any input would be appreciated...

Diva · Diva

This is a phrase I hear time and time again. "His/her drinking is none of my business." Who came up with THAT bright idea? Let's say ABF/GF wrecks your car and injures someone in the process. You better believe this is your business. If you don't believe it, just wait and see who gets sue...

gknee · gknee

Hi MIP family-Its been a long time since I've been on here-- not that life has been a bowl of cherries or anything. Here's the long and short of it. My AH of 18 years is still using (with brief episodes of abstinence) During a summer bingefest he hooked up with someone, caught crabs and shared them with me...

Ash · Ash

Ok so my lack of trust and abundance of fear have gotten me into a position of lockdown - almost making myself physically sick. So it occurred to me that some if not most of the thoughts and beliefs in my mind must be wrong. My husband and I are both Alcoholic - I haven't had a drink in over 7 years. I am extr...

Robinks · Robinks

please send me a private message, I want to stay in touch.

Rocky38 · Rocky38

You may have noticed already, but your missing post is back! Regards, Rocky

Codependent · Codependent

Do I trust my higher power to work it out? Do I trust my Higher Power to take care of my A? Do I trust my Higher Power to protect and not just punish my A? Do I trust my higher power to send me someone to share my life...?

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	understanding (Preview) I think I am getting this Fourth Step, But want to know why it hurts? I have found another defect of my and it realy hurts. I have come to understand that I do not get told that I am worth it much and can handle not being told. As i know that i am worth it and a lot more. So here is the question why does it hurt to be to...	smileycat	4	534	Nov 11, 2008 by christinajeanne
	Blessings Instead of Heartache (Preview) Once I let go and Let God, my life got so much better. As you know, I left my AH of 8 years marriage, 11+ years of relationship. It was the hardest thing I've ever done. I endured mental abuse, some physical abuse, the worst of name calling, threats, family discord between my grown daughter, her husband,...	Becky1	7	623	Nov 11, 2008 by maresie
	poem to celebrate today (Preview) This is not alanon material but I hope it will help someone. I am seeing it as inspiration to celebrate each day. Wage peace with your breath. Breathe in firemen and rubble, breathe out whole buildings and flocks of red wing blackbirds. Breathe in terrorists and breathe out sleeping children and fr...	maresie	4	521	Nov 11, 2008 by Andrea12
	i don't get it..really needing some esh... (Preview) I really hope I can gain some perspective here... As you may know, Ah has been gone from the house 2 wks. We have a 4 yr old son. Ah has been providing before school care to son, but because a recent driving with son incident (official day of our most recent split) Ah, doesn't have any other "visitat...	Rora	4	617	Nov 11, 2008 by maresie
	Jealous Again (Preview) Well, the A got arrested AGAIN. This time for driving on revoked. Granted he is on probation. None of this is my business. However, of course relapsing myself, I make it my business to find out from hims mom what is going on. Find out that a friend of his and his ex ex girlfriend are going to pick him up...	Codependent	4	457	Nov 11, 2008 by Codependent
	Just a share to not let it simmer inside (Preview) Hello everyone, I had to make a decision to tell my AexH that as much as I wanted to stay on friendly terms, allowing him to see Sully and stay in contact with me, it has just not worked out. Last week I had told him the condition the Doc's are believing I have ... it is not a good prognosis in many cases, inclu...	Jennifer	7	561	Nov 11, 2008 by Jennifer
	Just a share... (Preview) I've been separated from my Ah for 2 1/2 weeks. I am sad. I am very very sad. Sometimes I feel liberated about moving forward. Other times I want to run back to the place I was in, no matter how bad it was, just to have that sense of "normalcy" back. Sometimes I think that my relationship with my...	Rora	2	494	Nov 11, 2008 by Becky1
	Just needed to empty my head a little to get some sanity back in... (Preview) Let me first start by saying that I am trying to sort out my feelings about a situation that just occured. Input is appreciated for sure!! My AH is really having a hard time, more than usual, matabolising his alcohol. It may be because of all of the meds he is on for his heart and high blood pressure. It does...	wildthang86	3	561	Nov 11, 2008 by RLC
	my side of the street (Preview) so i wrote a post the other day about my relationship with my codependent bf. he is not an alcoholic or addict but is a acoa and definatly codependent. anyways i see alot of my same behaviors in this relationship as i did when i was with my a. should i be treating him in the same manner i would treat an a??? in...	notsonew1111	2	584	Nov 11, 2008 by canadianguy
	My Spooky CAT died! (Preview) I AM SAD TO SAY THAT MY CAT DIED LAST NIGHT. SHE WAS THE LAST OF OUR INSIDE CATS. SHE WAS MY FAVORITE OF ALL MY CATS. I AM VERY SAD TODAY. SHE STRUGGLED ALL LAST NIGHT BUT COULDN'T MAKE IT. SHE HAD SEIZURES & KEPT FALLING. I WITNESSED ALL OF IT, TOO. BY THE WAY, SHE IS THE CAT THAT I HAD TROUBLE WITH BEFOR...	Hoot Nanny	8	558	Nov 11, 2008 by nmike
	Back on Track (Preview) After a minor setback yesterday, when I panicked a wee little tiny bit, I am feeling much better today. For one thing, this sinus infection is getting much better, I went to work today, and no longer feel all weepy and out of sorts. Thanks to everyone for their ESH, it helps more than you can ever know! It i...	Becky1	1	423	Nov 11, 2008 by LEEA
	Please Don't Let Me Mess This Up (Preview) After enduring years and years of abuse, I have now fallen in love HARD with someone new. He is everything I ever wanted in a man. The only thing is we live 30 miles apart, which isn't that far, but he has responsibilities at his home, as he moved back in with his parents after his divorce a year ago, and they...	Becky1	10	690	Nov 11, 2008 by Becky1
	Step 6 (Preview) 6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character. To me step 6 means that others cannot change me. Others cannot remove my behaviors and problems. Just like I cannot control others behaviors they cannot control mine. I don't have to do anything. I just want to want to change. I am...	christinajeanne	1	1597	Nov 10, 2008 by nmike
	Taking care of myself (Preview) I used and sometimes still am a people pleaser. I am trying to fulfill others needs and many times I forget about myself and taking care of me. I give and give until I'm exhausted and then when no one says thanks I get upset. Sometimes I help people trying to help and people still get mad at me. But, that's li...	christinajeanne	3	537	Nov 10, 2008 by maresie
	nightmares (Preview) Sometimes I really need to get these out as they tear me up! My life is good, roof no longer leaks, got it so the cats are in by invitation only,got to see my son sunday and get hugged! (o: But my night,even though I was in a very soft feather bed,clean sheets and clean dogs and cats....was tormented by night...	debilyn	7	729	Nov 10, 2008 by christinajeanne
	working on detachment and rage (Preview) just starting this topic to hear how others detach and how they deal with anger or rage. please share	notsonew1111	3	679	Nov 10, 2008 by Peggy7
	setrting boundries?? (Preview) Hi when you set boundries you set them so you or noone goes to far, I understand this. how do you start to set them and know when others have gone over them? I know i need to set boundries and i know how to set so. I am haveing troble in this areas as my A has some mental problems. this mental problems are givin...	smileycat	2	512	Nov 10, 2008 by abbyal
	Twas the night before discharge... (Preview) 'Twas the night before discharge I sat in my house Counting all the ways he behaved like a louse I open my "toolbox" examining each one then replace them in order to get the task done This will not come as an easy feat I am putting a loved one out on the street I am a woman who thru experience has gro...	liljeannie	5	780	Nov 10, 2008 by Jerry F
	feeling manipulated and confused (Preview) I am shakey and upset. I had re-connected with my ex BF A....lots of "healing" talking/sharing/etc . We hadn't been in touch since he moved out sober a year and a half ago. He is a handyman and after offering many times with me hesitating, I said yes, you can do work on my house. I need it done - I t...	Fifi	6	750	Nov 10, 2008 by Fifi
	Lightbulb moment -- duh!! (Preview) I finally get the concept of taking the focus off the A and placing it on myself. For some reason, I always thought of it as the focus being on him during our interactions. Then I realized I have a strong tendency to think about him, almost to the point of obsession. We're separated but I began to realize...	curlee-girl	3	600	Nov 9, 2008 by christinajeanne
	This week's miracles (Preview) Hello Everyone, I want to share and give thanks for my little miracles this week. I awoke in alot of pain the other day. Bypassing my urge to just let it go I called my doctor and she was oncall with no appointments, was fit in ... full testing and MRI with 15 minutes notice it normally takes weeks ... perha...	Jennifer	4	549	Nov 9, 2008 by christinajeanne
	Too much religion!!! (Preview) I am writing this post because my husband (who is an alcoholic) is also very Catholic. I am also a religious person but not where I feel that I have to go to church every week. I have God in my life everyday in my own way. But anyway my H becomes very upset when I do not choose to go to church and also guilts an...	slowlearner	5	617	Nov 9, 2008 by abbyal
	Learning to Relax (Preview) Happy Friday ((((Family)))), At my ftf meeting last night the topic was "Taking Care of Ourselves". One of the directions this topic started carrying those sharing was taking care of ourselves by learning to relax. In the 4 and a half years I have been coming to al-anon, I have gone throu...	david62	10	587	Nov 9, 2008 by norwood
	In a panic! (Preview) I dont know where to begin. I spoke with abf's mom earlier today as I still had not heard from him and was beginning to have some uneasy feelings. She told me that he would be coming home on Monday. I was shocked, he has only been in his program for 3 weeks yet it is a 6 week program. I guess his insurance ra...	liljeannie	16	736	Nov 9, 2008 by Christy
	losing it (Preview) Hi everyone- its been a tough week. It feels that each day brings the inevitability of divorce closer. I want it but I don't. So now I've picked up food again-- my old friend to numb the pain and distract me from all that must be done. I really don't want to do this again. I lost 50 lbs in the past year by taking...	gknee	4	628	Nov 9, 2008 by debilyn
	back and dealing with another coda (Preview) hey all its been a while since i wrote here but i remember at a better time in my life i used to always come here and it helped so much. you all really wernt lying when you said if you stop working the program your misery will be refunded. anyways so thats where im at now. not with an a anymore but with someone ju...	notsonew1111	2	393	Nov 9, 2008 by Jean4444
	DOING THE RIGHT THING, OR THE WRONG THING? (Preview) MY "FIANCE" THAT I HAVE BEEN WITH FOR 6 YEARS AND ALSO HAVE 2 DAUGHTERS (3 1/2 AND 8 MONTHS) WITH HAS BEEN STRUGGLING WITH A ALCOHOL AND DRUG ADDICTION FOR MOST OF HIS LIFE. I HAVE RECENTLY FOUND OUT THE REALITY OF HIS DRUG ABUSE AND HE KEEPS TELLING ME THAT HE IS GOING TO STOP. I KNOW HE HAS TRIE...	needhelpnow	5	582	Nov 9, 2008 by LEEA
	Moral Inventory (Preview) I have a question on the four step. Question is how do you know that you are doing a moral inventory or just repeating what others have said to you all you live? I am am ACOA, with am A. H.,so i have lived in A all my live and there is time that I do not really know how I feel about things because I have lisen to oth...	smileycat	9	3227	Nov 9, 2008 by smileycat
	could use some advise.... Am I controlling, or being controlled (Preview) I have come to the realization that this is the best place for me to get honest, and carefully thought out answers to the hard questions. The question I am about to ask isn't about my A, but about my "take charge" attitude. I have always been the family "fixer". They dump their p...	LEEA	2	674	Nov 8, 2008 by Jean4444
	Need a shoulder to cry on, and ear to listen, and heart to care (Preview) My son is a recovering addict and alcoholic...age 22. He has been through ip/op treatment, residential treatment, halfway house, meetings after meetings. He shares an apartment with another person who has relapsed and is currently using. Every day with my son is a drama...I really could use so...	razzberry	4	3648	Nov 8, 2008 by Jerry F
	I hate being physically ill. (Preview) The last two weeks I've been more fatigued than usual (I also have chronic fatigue syndrome). I have been sleeping all through the night, but waking up earlier than usual. Last week I got a cold sore, which is always the first indication I've gotten run down. This morning I got up with a very sore throa...	Tenderheartsks	5	416	Nov 8, 2008 by Diva
	could use some advise.... Am I controlling, or being controlled (Preview) I have come to the realization that this is the best place for me to get honest, and carefully thought out answers to the hard questions. The question I am about to ask isn't about my A, but about my "take charge" attitude. I have always been the family "fixer". They dump their p...	LEEA	5	563	Nov 8, 2008 by Tenderheartsks
	giving and reciving (Preview) But, I love reading peoples shares. They always give me some insight and something new to ponder. I get to see how to work the steps better and the slogans give me something to think about. I then ponder and use the tools in al-anon. I feel like when I give I always receive something in return. In al-anon an...	christinajeanne	2	468	Nov 8, 2008 by Rocky38
	finding a calm place to wait and see what happens (Preview) Step by step, new thoughts take root and somehow, someway, things change slowly with fits and starts..... sort of like magic. I think it's those miracles Jerry keeps reminding us about. Exhausting work but worthy work too. I am now aware of when I get myself spinning in thought and then actions. I h...	ddub	2	497	Nov 8, 2008 by LEEA
	An unusual post - No crises today! (Preview) Hi MIP family, I'm home alone this evening and thought I'd come visit the board. I feel like posting, and realize that this is a very strange post for me. Usually I post when I'm in the middle of some crisis. I come seeking help and support, and you all are there for me. THANK YOU. But tonight, I have no crisi...	Rocky38	2	491	Nov 8, 2008 by Mariner
	Live and let live (Preview) While these past two days I've been dealing with criticism from my aunt and other people who I don't know very well. At first it made me feel bad because I do have low self esteem and I felt the criticism was unnecessary. But the slogan "live and let live" made me realize that my aunt and others...	christinajeanne	2	438	Nov 7, 2008 by christinajeanne
	concept 12 share (Preview) I am not usually the leader in my household. Usually it is my mom who takes care of the bills and so on. But after our financial crisis my mom is still not stepping up and taking responsibility. I am not going to lie it does upset me. But, when she was in control she didn't tell anyone what was going on until w...	christinajeanne	2	513	Nov 7, 2008 by christinajeanne
	Hi everyone, im new and could really use some advice-sorry so long! (Preview) Well, my story is pretty long but to make it a short version here it goes... I met and fell in love with my husband 5 years ago we married soon after. We are in our early 30's and use to go out a lot with friends drinking. I didn't think he had a problem at the time- even though i found out after he had 4 dui's and sp...	hurtnfedup	10	709	Nov 7, 2008 by christinajeanne
	2 weeks today...Ah has been gone (Preview) Today celebrates (yes, celebrates!) the 2 week mark since my Ah moved out. We have a 4 yr old together and so we still have regular contact. As far as where we are going from here,I do not know! What I do know is that I am more at peace. My irregular heart palpatations have significantly reduced. My son...	Rora	8	739	Nov 7, 2008 by Jerry F
	Foolish games (Preview) Hello all, I havent spoken to abf for a couple of days. Not since our last conversation where I came out and directly stated how I felt about the things he was asking of me. I believe I mentioned that he didnt seem too happy. Apparently, I was right on the money. He spoke w/his mom during a conference ca...	liljeannie	6	473	Nov 7, 2008 by maresie
	Chat Room Not Loading (Preview) I haven't been able to get into the chat room. Is there a glitch on the server/site or is it just me?	kitty	3	545	Nov 7, 2008 by kitty
	rage versus detachment AD new (Preview) I am so new. Took a day off work so I could go to a face to face group yesterday, but all the groups in a 30 mile radius are either when I am supposed to be at work or too late at night... 7pm, an hour away from my home. So, I turn to the miracle of the internet? My father is a dry A (but wasn't in my life hardly...	newanon	5	8084	Nov 7, 2008 by kitty
	chatroom (Preview) I went to the chatroom yesterday afternoon several times and there was no one there. no one there this morning, what is going on?	Robinks	5	525	Nov 7, 2008 by kitty
	A question..... (Preview) I have seen (on this board) and heard (at meetings) a lot about loving oneself. SoI guess my question is what does that look like? I grew up in an alcoholic home my first qualifier was my dad. Two days after I graduated from high school I married my second qualifier; I have known him since I was sixteen. We...	binohio	6	709	Nov 7, 2008 by LEEA
	Hope (Preview) This really helped me today and wanted to share it with all of you. Hope does not usually come as the just reward for our hard work and struggle. It comes as a gift. The experience of hope is very much like the experience of receiving a surprise gift that is perfectly suited to our needs. A really good gift...	ddub	3	449	Nov 6, 2008 by nmike
	Teen daughter (Preview) Well, many of you know the history with my teen daughter and my fears about her exhibiting alcoholic/addict behavior. So she is very in your face and thinks she can say or do whatever she wants with no consequences and I have no way to enforce rules. Last night she got in trouble for shoplifting with he...	carolinagirl	8	676	Nov 6, 2008 by Jean4444
	Continuing to act and not react... (Preview) I'm down to crunch time in college, only one month left and 3 finals to take, 4 class projects, and an oral exam in medical terminology, plus the daily assignments in all 5 classes. I've had some issues recently with my untreated ACOA dad, and my mom who is still in toxic mode. I've had to keep turning that...	Tenderheartsks	4	556	Nov 6, 2008 by Jean4444
	Resentments (Preview) I have had a lot of resentment towards my aunt over the years. Mostly because of her verbal and emotional abuses towards me. It also frustrates me because I work for her and she always tells me what I should do work and non work related. But, today I decided to detach from her. I did was she asked me to do work...	christinajeanne	3	559	Nov 6, 2008 by christinajeanne
	step 5 (Preview) 5. Admitted to God, to ourselves and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs. I have been working step 4 asking myself questions and taking an inventory. It is not always easy to look at ourselves. I'm looking at both the good and not so good qualities about myself. Today I was talking on the...	christinajeanne	1	507	Nov 6, 2008 by christinajeanne
	Keep me in your thoughts,please (Preview) I will be having surgery next Wednesday, 11/12/08 to remove the recurring tumor in my leg. Brachytherapy (internal radiation) will be used as part of my treatment. Please remember me and my family, especially my son and grandchild, as I step aside for a week or so to try and defeat this disease. Tak...	joyoma	6	658	Nov 6, 2008 by christinajeanne
	need to vent (Preview) Hi all I am having a bad moment at this time. my A of 21 years thinks that just because he is in recovery that all the problems for the past need to stay in the past. that the reaction of the other poeple in the house has nothing to to with the fact that me live in the family diesae of A. he wants to think that are...	smileycat	7	707	Nov 6, 2008 by smileycat
	help please (Preview) Hello all I am new to your forum... I figured I needed some help.. but meetings in my area are hours away. I dont know who to talk to - or where to turn. I cant seem to figure out when its safe to trust that my world willnot be upset by my alcholic husband. I am freaked... because I know my anger and need to cont...	mzkels	12	748	Nov 6, 2008 by christinajeanne
	When is enough, enough (Preview) I physically can't take it anymore. I have been away from this board for awhile, thinking I know all and can handle it. I have realized,,not so much. I have given everything over to my God and I trust him completely. I have come to the end,,,I have found out that my husband is not only an alcholic but a g...	weggie	8	600	Nov 6, 2008 by maresie
	Question about Steps (Preview) I'm a newbie here so you'll have to forgive all the questions-lol, but I'm still learning....and probally always will be. My question is this......is there a workbook or a certain book/tool for working the steps??? Want to begin but not quite sure where or how.....any input would be appreciated...	shellyj123	4	1096	Nov 6, 2008 by shellyj123
	Not every situation is "none of my business." (Preview) This is a phrase I hear time and time again. "His/her drinking is none of my business." Who came up with THAT bright idea? Let's say ABF/GF wrecks your car and injures someone in the process. You better believe this is your business. If you don't believe it, just wait and see who gets sue...	Diva	15	1632	Nov 6, 2008 by kitty
	detached and detaching (Preview) Hi MIP family-Its been a long time since I've been on here-- not that life has been a bowl of cherries or anything. Here's the long and short of it. My AH of 18 years is still using (with brief episodes of abstinence) During a summer bingefest he hooked up with someone, caught crabs and shared them with me...	gknee	3	559	Nov 6, 2008 by kitty
	Need some clarity... (Preview) Ok so my lack of trust and abundance of fear have gotten me into a position of lockdown - almost making myself physically sick. So it occurred to me that some if not most of the thoughts and beliefs in my mind must be wrong. My husband and I are both Alcoholic - I haven't had a drink in over 7 years. I am extr...	Ash	10	595	Nov 6, 2008 by LEEA
	Mary Poppins (Preview) please send me a private message, I want to stay in touch.	Robinks	0	308	Nov 5, 2008 by Robinks
	BUCKY - your post is back! It's way down the bottom of the page. (Preview) You may have noticed already, but your missing post is back! Regards, Rocky	Rocky38	0	331	Nov 5, 2008 by Rocky38
	Higher Power (Preview) Do I trust my higher power to work it out? Do I trust my Higher Power to take care of my A? Do I trust my Higher Power to protect and not just punish my A? Do I trust my higher power to send me someone to share my life...?	Codependent	5	628	Nov 5, 2008 by carolinagirl
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.