Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Diva · Diva

Thanks for all your responses...believe me I appreciate them. I haven't been around too much lately as you no doubt have gathered. I have been very, very busy locating a lovely home in Florida of which I took ownership on last Tuesday. Sold the condo in Hawai'i as my children wanted me closer to them...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I have been wanting connection to my family all the way up here 900 miles away. It is seeming to happy but maybe be slowly. I can wait longer because it is so worth it! I have been able to talk to my precious step-sister & she is very lonely for her mom. The service went well from what I heard. Wished I coul...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

My brother my dad's only son finally went to see my dad after many long years having nothing really to do w/ him! I am so happy that this has happened. It was time for them to mend fences & maybe create a new bond. It seems so hard for me to see that he couldn't reconcile w/ my Dad until Tues. but at least it h...

Confidence is my illusion · Confidence is my illusion

As I'm writing this, my husband is gathering some belongings to move to our camper at a KOA campground. He got a second DUI a couple of nights ago and I've asked him to leave to work through this on his own. I've thrown everything I had in my aresenal at this problem and nothing has worked. I look like I'm str...

mousie1 · mousie1

I have read a lot about this syndrome and its impact in early recovery. One thing I read said that it can go up to two years, but, many times peaks in three to six months. If a small amount of alcohol is consumed (one or two drinks) does it undo all the healing in the brain and you start over again?

John · John

Hello everyone, We will be having the scheduled group business meeting tonight at 7 PM eastern time. We are asking everyone who considers themselves a member of the group, be it by the message board, or by the chat room meetings to join us for this meeting. 1. On tonight's agenda is a review of Op respo...

Mlkiss75 · Mlkiss75

Ive had it. I do not understand why the liquor store around the corner from my house continues to provide my husband with alcohol on credit! He's not working so he has no money to pay. He's been over three times already today and it's just after 1:00. So on his way back from his last trip over, I turned him ar...

rara avis · rara avis

This is just a needed rant, and I'm afraid not helpful to anyone, unless you need to hear another story to make yourself feel not alone in this craziness! I thank this forum for providing this outlet! On advice I went to a police station to file a report on my ex RA, but was convinced to file an EPO [ emergenc...

Jules1011 · Jules1011

I am very grateful right now that I made the decision to end an unhealthy relationship with my ex, I have a lot of gratitude for this programme, the f2f meetings and the people on this board. Although, I am struggling with guilt right now. My ex has ran up a huge phone bill and the phone is in my name, I found...

glad · glad

Whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is [a]lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, [b]dwell on these things. When I have "negative" run through my brain, just for today, I will q...

Very Very Tired · Very Very Tired

When I am confronted by my AH with his justifications or lies or delusions or whatever you want to call them, I have to go through my mental list of what I know. I know he drinks, even when he says he won't. I know he drinks and hides it. I know there is an ever increasing stash of empty alcohol bottles accumul...

kris10 · kris10

If you have been following my posts the last couple days I'm sure you probably have the same puzzled look on your face that I do right about now...lol The other day he said he wanted to go to an AA meeting but at the time he was high on H... I wanted soooo bad to tell him "don't go when you are high, how rude...

Green Eyes · Green Eyes

This is really kind of amusing in a sad way. My estranged AH and I submitted finally submitted our joint 2010 tax return a couple of months ago. I got a letter in the mail last week that said we would not be getting a penny back due to tax liabilities for 2007. This was news to me, as I was not aware of any previo...

never going back · never going back

Actually, I never left. It's been a little over a year since I posted, but I get on here at least once a week to read other's posts, stalking, I guess you'd call it. But now I'm in a bad place again, and felt the need of support. My AH admitted to himself that he was an alcoholic 3 years ago, after 35 years of dr...

Lindaoakford · Lindaoakford

http://www.houstonadultchildren.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=62&Itemid=71-- Edited by Lindaoakford on Wednesday 2nd of November 2011 11:01:23 PM

micawber · micawber

A very dear friend of mine (and ex-boyfriend) is well into his recovery process--he's been sober for over a year now, mostly thanks to AA. He is dedicated to going to daily meetings, chairs them sometimes, has a sponsor, etc. etc. While our relationship is still close, I know that he has lost touch with...

Mlkiss75 · Mlkiss75

Hola all! Tonight marked yet another step forward in my recovery - came home to my husband somewhat drunk and I just did my thing. I basically disregarded his acting out and went about making dinner and watching tv. He made a huge mess in the kitchen - I did my own dishes and left his for him to deal with. He t...

surfgirl123 · surfgirl123

Wow, was just reminded I can never get too comfortable. Things have been going pretty well lately. Came home tonight and BAM! A few days ago my AH said something I did was 'stupid', I ignored it at the time, but today what he said I was stupid for worked out, I made the mistake of saying "and you said I w...

f2fmember · f2fmember

Does anyone know anything about the concepts. I have the paths to recovery book but really can't get my head round them in any practical way. f2fmember

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I did talk to my dad & it went well. He really wants to see my brother who hasn't been in his life for many years. A lot had to do w/ my step-mom. Now that she is gone, I wonder what will happen w/ their relationship? Just a thought. Kathleen

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I am doing OK. But it has been a long week because the loss of my step-mom. I was trying to write something on-line for her as a memory & couldn't figure out how to do it. It is so painful to be unable to give my dad & family hugs right now. But..I have friends up here who are watching out for me & som...

pinkchip · pinkchip

My cat was all up in my grill this morning. She headbutts me to feed her, pet her...she is so clingy. I told her she needed to go to a CODA meeting. I also told her "I'm going to sleep or not sleep what are you gonna do?" It didn't really work. So much for 12 step principles for cats. (levity-I h...

Lindaoakford · Lindaoakford

I have been here 3 months, on the ACoA board a little longer than that. I have come here every day for 3 months. Several times a day and sometimes it is open all day (at work naughty me). I have read, I have 'listened', I have private messaged. I have been happy, sad, crying and angry and laughing. No ma...

Very Very Tired · Very Very Tired

It's such a new concept for me to reach out to someone to help me think through something. It feels so foreign for me to talk to someone before I react. When I take the extra time to work my program, WOW what a difference. I have a big action that I felt it is time to take. My sponsor didn't tell me what I could...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

I am planning a trip to California to visit my Mother who still lives in the same house that I grew up in. My dad died 9 years ago and her pot head boyfriend has been with her the last 6 years I think. He doesn't work just mooches off her and she doesn't have that great of a job either. With that being said. I inte...

Jackie11 · Jackie11

Linda did a post that got me to thinking. I came to this site on October 11 because I was so frustrated and angry and I had started trying to research alcoholism. I wanted to be told to leave, given the excuses I needed that it was ok. Except instead I found information, and stories, and hope. I probably sta...

orchidlover · orchidlover

Last night when I was walking my dogs I met a man who I know through a friend of his (who is an alcoholic currently in a dreadful way). I got to chat with him and hear about this man's alcoholism, his delirum tremens, seizure and more. I could have a lot of compassion for him and really see and understand th...

thesslea · thesslea

Greetings :) I am new to this forum but feel I need some guidance in my current situation. I have been dating a woman for close to 18 months who has 17 years of sobriety. We recently had a conflict that baffled me and when I was speaking with a close friend of mine and described the situation, she said it soun...

kmclin52 · kmclin52

I have been with my boyfriend for two years and lived with him for one. I didnt know he was an alcoholic until about 8 mo into our relationship. He has recently (about 2 mo ago) started a 12 step recovery program. Things were great between us until he started going to open AA meetings. For example he used to...

pinkchip · pinkchip

My therapist is hardcore alanon. I met with her today and talked about some of the things I'm learning on this board. I was saying how I often felt that some of the folks on here are like trauma victims and in need of validation and to feel empowered. She stated that Alanon would often tell you that you a...

kris10 · kris10

After all the stuff going on yesterday I today realize my little back track the past couple days was ME... I had fell back to trying to control, worrying, blaming, ect, ect.... So, I guess (as I've read in other posts lately) that here is where I take it one day at a time... If there are such a thing as stages...

Pushka · Pushka

I can tell things in my life are shifting in a good way, there are a bunch of gold plated problems (I LOVE that!!) on my plate that I would like to go away .. lol. I feel like I"m healing and moving forward, there is a long ways to go. Good grief .. I'm finding as I shift the more drama is being dropped in m...

mousie1 · mousie1

I am a mother of a 28 year old son newly returned from treatment. He is very sensitive and irritable. He doesn't want to talk about treatment too much. Today I clearly was nervous because it was his first day alone with no family members around. When he didn't answer his phone I got really worried that he...

f2fmember · f2fmember

I'm not sure if this is appropriate lol I am pretty disheartened at the moment and quite down. Normally that would send me into the next meeting or phoning an alanon friend. But what do you do if the source of the problem is that I have been around alanon for a long time and feel completely detached from the...

Michelle814 · Michelle814

I have been really struggling. I have had my own sort of relapse this past week. I have been caught up in things that are not of my concern, worrying about the past, scared of the future. questioning my husband about how his own program has been going.. constantly asking whats going on in his mind.. hor...

Doozy · Doozy

Hi All, I'm still here, though not much has changed since my last posting. Just went another round on the roller coaster with my ex BF. Calling it a roller coaster is kind of ridiculous though because it doesn't even begin to describe what the experience does to my heart. Anyway, we did finally talk on th...

orchidlover · orchidlover

For 4 years I lived around addicts and alcoholics and put a lot of boundaries in place. I would say every day without fail the boundaries were tested on different levels. At some points I dreaded going out the door. Now for 2 weeks I am living in a non A environment. Here is the difference: 1) No fear abou...

NCSUgeology · NCSUgeology

My brother has been getting a lot of resistance from family members that have set boundaries. I started the I dont want to talk to you when youre drunk boundary, and it worked great for me and my sanity. It was bad. Sometimes he couldnt talk. After that boundary was set, he never had a fat tongue when I tal...

jitsuka · jitsuka

The title says it all really. There have been some posts recently about being in a relationship and feeling totally lonely. That's exactly how I feel. I can be intellectually stimulated when I'm at university (I've just started a PhD). I've started going back to Jiu-Jitsu after a 4 year break and I'm a...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

Some of you may remember that my AH went to see his psychiatrist and was warned not to drink while on his antidepressants. As far as I know he hasn't been drinking, at least not in my presence. He may be drinking while traveling for work but I can't prove it nor do I care. Anyway, I was helping him with som...

jmanning · jmanning

I don't know what to think or maybe I am reading too much into it. But I got a letter from my AH today and in his letter he says, "God honey I am so so sorry for my wrong doings and I'm going to get help for my alcoholism. I ask that you also work a program to help us both through my disease, for better or wors...

kris10 · kris10

When they say "If your not sure...don't" does that apply to getting rid of ur A?? Pretty sure today is going to be the day... I can feel it... I feel I know I'm going to regret it also.... I don't know what to do... I got the name calling this morning too which was AWESOME after being up all night to...

kris10 · kris10

730 in the morning and i havent slept all night because my Abf has been banging around all night cleaning ( heroin induced) now i get to try and take care of a sick little one all day... ( my son) god im going to need some help today.........

Grace7 · Grace7

Hi all. I've had a great deal of experience of living with an active A, who has been my ex for quite some time now. In other words, I've not lived with "active" addiction in some time. However, now my grown sons have the addiction or ACOA issues that make it tough for me sometimes. My curren...

lookingup · lookingup

he thought id never come back ,was sooo happy to c me as i was him,we will always love each other,i do know now he wants it as bad as me to work out for us ,he is doing better with his drinking but still drinks um 4 24oz a day instead of a case and a pint of vodka,my freind told me that it could all blow up ,this i know...

Jozie · Jozie

Hello MIP ;0) I know its been a while, but it is def, the time of the change of Seasons for me... Some Good =) Some Not so Much :'( My Son ended his Soccer Outdoor Season, and we are about to begin our Soccer Indoor season, which isn't near the hassle, its only 1 day a week, and tho I signed in as Coach, I have tr...

stephaniej · stephaniej

Throwing myself quite a pity party today (combination of phases 1 and 3 Tom!). I am having such a hard time coping...my mom's terminally ill, I'm living in a new area where I know nobody because I lost my job in my old area...I need support and understanding and compassion so much, but it's nowhere to be f...

Lindaoakford · Lindaoakford

I am going out to a show that I bought ticket for myself and my friend. to see a psychic medium Hubbie doesn't want to come. He came to one before and liked it, but isn't really into it. Now here is the bit.... A month or so ago, I would not have bought the tickets becasue whenever I go out.. I know he will stay h...

orchidlover · orchidlover

For me taking care of myself was really foreign for a long time. I left 7 years of non stop chaos and crises to live by myself. Initially I've been surrounded by roommates who are addicts and alcoholics and some other stuff in there too. Their chaos and out of control life certainly came in to affect me...

Cupcake · Cupcake

Last night I came home from work and my husband was drunk. I ignored it and pretended I didn't notice. He is hiding the fact that he is drinking from me since I've started to go to AlAnon. He's not very good at it. LOL I have called someone from my group, read some literature. It's just kind of a bummer. Liv...

amills4294 · amills4294

God grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change The courage to change the things I can And the Wisdom to know the difference!!!!!!!! I really need this today!!!!!!!!!!!!!

mdkm0726 · mdkm0726

I could not get out to one in my area but was very glad to remember there was one here. I was so disappointed...I needed a meeting desparately. I'm having a problem with the fine line between detachment and honesty. I would like to have heard others speak on this subject. Sometimes I am so busy detac...

amills4294 · amills4294

I know it's important to work the program, and really all I've been doing is reading daily readings and going to a face to face meeting once or maybe twice a week, if I'm lucky. Plus, participating on this board. It's hard to stay focused on it all the time. I hope to reach a point where it doesn't have to...

rara avis · rara avis

I'm sure I'm not the only one here who has had this phenomenon happen. I feel like I have just learned the lesson of detatchment [ well not with love, ] and self care, but not in the alanon way, instead in the wrong way. What I have learned is this: heartbreak can be cured with fear. My ex RA is REALLY acting u...

Very Very Tired · Very Very Tired

In trying to reclaim my life, I have gotten busy and gotten out of the house a lot. I'm involved in some great groups doing both personal and civic things. But, what I haven't done is invite those who don't know me well into my "inner sanctum". Tonight, a few people who don't know I am the wife of...

Very Very Tired · Very Very Tired

I normally don't move alcohol bottles or beer cans. They sit where they sit. Today was an exception. I was getting ready for tomorrow's big Halloween party. I needed counter space in the area where some bottles were. So, I moved the bottles to the basement in an area where I knew AH could easily find them...

Ness · Ness

My heart is sore. Our son passed away on Thursday. He is free of the torment and ravages of the disease..... for that I am grateful.Thirty five years ago today was a day of joyous celebration when I delivered him into this world at 11am, a healthy 7lbs 6 ounces with a mop of blonde hair. He grew to be a gentle...

Something simple · Something simple

New here and would like to hear how others handle keeping boundaries clear. The gist if my background is i come from a narcissistic mother and alcoholic father who quit after having paranoid delusions. My husband of 11 yrs and a decade younger than me lost his alcoholic dad as a child and was raised by a n...

pinkchip · pinkchip

Sometimes it would seem that terms translate well from the big book of AA to alanon and sometimes they don't. Here is one term that definitely applies to big headed egotist alcoholics like me: Self-Will Run Riot: This phrase comes from chapter 5 of the Big Book, 'Selfishness- self-centeredness! Th...

Pushka · Pushka

Holy cow last night was a blast. My AH and I took the kids door to door trick or treating in our town that is not as easy as it sounds. We live in the country and that is not going to happen out here .. lol. For some crazy reason I never thought about driving to another area to go door to door. We've done trick...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Hello all! (Preview) Thanks for all your responses...believe me I appreciate them. I haven't been around too much lately as you no doubt have gathered. I have been very, very busy locating a lovely home in Florida of which I took ownership on last Tuesday. Sold the condo in Hawai'i as my children wanted me closer to them...	Diva	1	332	Nov 7, 2011 by tommyecat
	good things out of sadness (Preview) I have been wanting connection to my family all the way up here 900 miles away. It is seeming to happy but maybe be slowly. I can wait longer because it is so worth it! I have been able to talk to my precious step-sister & she is very lonely for her mom. The service went well from what I heard. Wished I coul...	Hoot Nanny	2	370	Nov 7, 2011 by tommyecat
	update: my brother (Preview) My brother my dad's only son finally went to see my dad after many long years having nothing really to do w/ him! I am so happy that this has happened. It was time for them to mend fences & maybe create a new bond. It seems so hard for me to see that he couldn't reconcile w/ my Dad until Tues. but at least it h...	Hoot Nanny	5	374	Nov 7, 2011 by tommyecat
	Husband received 2nd DUI after 12 years from the first and only 9 months after treatment. (Preview) As I'm writing this, my husband is gathering some belongings to move to our camper at a KOA campground. He got a second DUI a couple of nights ago and I've asked him to leave to work through this on his own. I've thrown everything I had in my aresenal at this problem and nothing has worked. I look like I'm str...	Confidence is my illusion	10	4549	Nov 6, 2011 by Pushka
	post acute withdrawal syndrome (Preview) I have read a lot about this syndrome and its impact in early recovery. One thing I read said that it can go up to two years, but, many times peaks in three to six months. If a small amount of alcohol is consumed (one or two drinks) does it undo all the healing in the brain and you start over again?	mousie1	2	608	Nov 6, 2011 by hotrod
	Group Business Meeting Tonight at 7pm est (Preview) Hello everyone, We will be having the scheduled group business meeting tonight at 7 PM eastern time. We are asking everyone who considers themselves a member of the group, be it by the message board, or by the chat room meetings to join us for this meeting. 1. On tonight's agenda is a review of Op respo...	John	0	697	Nov 6, 2011 by John
	Just went to the liquor store (Preview) Ive had it. I do not understand why the liquor store around the corner from my house continues to provide my husband with alcohol on credit! He's not working so he has no money to pay. He's been over three times already today and it's just after 1:00. So on his way back from his last trip over, I turned him ar...	Mlkiss75	9	757	Nov 5, 2011 by Jerry F
	Stressed out, need to rant [ long, sorry ] (Preview) This is just a needed rant, and I'm afraid not helpful to anyone, unless you need to hear another story to make yourself feel not alone in this craziness! I thank this forum for providing this outlet! On advice I went to a police station to file a report on my ex RA, but was convinced to file an EPO [ emergenc...	rara avis	9	617	Nov 5, 2011 by rosielee
	Feeling guilty with gratitude....confusing yes (Preview) I am very grateful right now that I made the decision to end an unhealthy relationship with my ex, I have a lot of gratitude for this programme, the f2f meetings and the people on this board. Although, I am struggling with guilt right now. My ex has ran up a huge phone bill and the phone is in my name, I found...	Jules1011	7	659	Nov 5, 2011 by Jules1011
	Today will be a good day! (Preview) Whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is [a]lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, [b]dwell on these things. When I have "negative" run through my brain, just for today, I will q...	glad	6	333	Nov 5, 2011 by amills4294
	What I know (Preview) When I am confronted by my AH with his justifications or lies or delusions or whatever you want to call them, I have to go through my mental list of what I know. I know he drinks, even when he says he won't. I know he drinks and hides it. I know there is an ever increasing stash of empty alcohol bottles accumul...	Very Very Tired	8	552	Nov 4, 2011 by never going back
	My A just left for an AA meeting???? (Preview) If you have been following my posts the last couple days I'm sure you probably have the same puzzled look on your face that I do right about now...lol The other day he said he wanted to go to an AA meeting but at the time he was high on H... I wanted soooo bad to tell him "don't go when you are high, how rude...	kris10	13	584	Nov 4, 2011 by never going back
	The IRS Thinks I'm a Victim (Preview) This is really kind of amusing in a sad way. My estranged AH and I submitted finally submitted our joint 2010 tax return a couple of months ago. I got a letter in the mail last week that said we would not be getting a penny back due to tax liabilities for 2007. This was news to me, as I was not aware of any previo...	Green Eyes	6	767	Nov 4, 2011 by Green Eyes
	I'm back..... (Preview) Actually, I never left. It's been a little over a year since I posted, but I get on here at least once a week to read other's posts, stalking, I guess you'd call it. But now I'm in a bad place again, and felt the need of support. My AH admitted to himself that he was an alcoholic 3 years ago, after 35 years of dr...	never going back	9	893	Nov 4, 2011 by HisWife24
	found a website that is great (Preview) http://www.houstonadultchildren.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=62&Itemid=71-- Edited by Lindaoakford on Wednesday 2nd of November 2011 11:01:23 PM	Lindaoakford	5	553	Nov 4, 2011 by Lindaoakford
	How to help a friend? (Preview) A very dear friend of mine (and ex-boyfriend) is well into his recovery process--he's been sober for over a year now, mostly thanks to AA. He is dedicated to going to daily meetings, chairs them sometimes, has a sponsor, etc. etc. While our relationship is still close, I know that he has lost touch with...	micawber	4	393	Nov 4, 2011 by rrib
	Amazing progress (Preview) Hola all! Tonight marked yet another step forward in my recovery - came home to my husband somewhat drunk and I just did my thing. I basically disregarded his acting out and went about making dinner and watching tv. He made a huge mess in the kitchen - I did my own dishes and left his for him to deal with. He t...	Mlkiss75	9	400	Nov 4, 2011 by Mlkiss75
	Never Get Too Comfortable (Preview) Wow, was just reminded I can never get too comfortable. Things have been going pretty well lately. Came home tonight and BAM! A few days ago my AH said something I did was 'stupid', I ignored it at the time, but today what he said I was stupid for worked out, I made the mistake of saying "and you said I w...	surfgirl123	6	791	Nov 4, 2011 by orchidlover
	Concepts (Preview) Does anyone know anything about the concepts. I have the paths to recovery book but really can't get my head round them in any practical way. f2fmember	f2fmember	1	333	Nov 4, 2011 by tommyecat
	one more comment (Preview) I did talk to my dad & it went well. He really wants to see my brother who hasn't been in his life for many years. A lot had to do w/ my step-mom. Now that she is gone, I wonder what will happen w/ their relationship? Just a thought. Kathleen	Hoot Nanny	3	416	Nov 4, 2011 by Pushka
	I am OK--long week & it is only Thurs. (Preview) I am doing OK. But it has been a long week because the loss of my step-mom. I was trying to write something on-line for her as a memory & couldn't figure out how to do it. It is so painful to be unable to give my dad & family hugs right now. But..I have friends up here who are watching out for me & som...	Hoot Nanny	4	423	Nov 4, 2011 by Pushka
	meow. (Preview) My cat was all up in my grill this morning. She headbutts me to feed her, pet her...she is so clingy. I told her she needed to go to a CODA meeting. I also told her "I'm going to sleep or not sleep what are you gonna do?" It didn't really work. So much for 12 step principles for cats. (levity-I h...	pinkchip	11	629	Nov 4, 2011 by Lindaoakford
	3 months (Preview) I have been here 3 months, on the ACoA board a little longer than that. I have come here every day for 3 months. Several times a day and sometimes it is open all day (at work naughty me). I have read, I have 'listened', I have private messaged. I have been happy, sad, crying and angry and laughing. No ma...	Lindaoakford	12	564	Nov 3, 2011 by Lindaoakford
	Singing the praises of sponsors (Preview) It's such a new concept for me to reach out to someone to help me think through something. It feels so foreign for me to talk to someone before I react. When I take the extra time to work my program, WOW what a difference. I have a big action that I felt it is time to take. My sponsor didn't tell me what I could...	Very Very Tired	3	468	Nov 3, 2011 by Breakingfree
	Going to visit my childhood home (Am I ready?) (Preview) I am planning a trip to California to visit my Mother who still lives in the same house that I grew up in. My dad died 9 years ago and her pot head boyfriend has been with her the last 6 years I think. He doesn't work just mooches off her and she doesn't have that great of a job either. With that being said. I inte...	Breakingfree	6	597	Nov 3, 2011 by Doozy
	Reflecting (Preview) Linda did a post that got me to thinking. I came to this site on October 11 because I was so frustrated and angry and I had started trying to research alcoholism. I wanted to be told to leave, given the excuses I needed that it was ok. Except instead I found information, and stories, and hope. I probably sta...	Jackie11	7	608	Nov 3, 2011 by Jerry F
	Detachment (Preview) Last night when I was walking my dogs I met a man who I know through a friend of his (who is an alcoholic currently in a dreadful way). I got to chat with him and hear about this man's alcoholism, his delirum tremens, seizure and more. I could have a lot of compassion for him and really see and understand th...	orchidlover	6	786	Nov 3, 2011 by Jerry F
	Dating someone in recovery dating recovery tips (Preview) Greetings :) I am new to this forum but feel I need some guidance in my current situation. I have been dating a woman for close to 18 months who has 17 years of sobriety. We recently had a conflict that baffled me and when I was speaking with a close friend of mine and described the situation, she said it soun...	thesslea	14	11736	Nov 3, 2011 by thesslea
	Boyfriend in AA (Preview) I have been with my boyfriend for two years and lived with him for one. I didnt know he was an alcoholic until about 8 mo into our relationship. He has recently (about 2 mo ago) started a 12 step recovery program. Things were great between us until he started going to open AA meetings. For example he used to...	kmclin52	11	814	Nov 3, 2011 by Tracy
	Sicker than the Alcoholic? (Preview) My therapist is hardcore alanon. I met with her today and talked about some of the things I'm learning on this board. I was saying how I often felt that some of the folks on here are like trauma victims and in need of validation and to feel empowered. She stated that Alanon would often tell you that you a...	pinkchip	27	3075	Nov 3, 2011 by ythannah
	ahhh HAaaaa!! (Preview) After all the stuff going on yesterday I today realize my little back track the past couple days was ME... I had fell back to trying to control, worrying, blaming, ect, ect.... So, I guess (as I've read in other posts lately) that here is where I take it one day at a time... If there are such a thing as stages...	kris10	3	389	Nov 3, 2011 by kris10
	Hmm .. (Preview) I can tell things in my life are shifting in a good way, there are a bunch of gold plated problems (I LOVE that!!) on my plate that I would like to go away .. lol. I feel like I"m healing and moving forward, there is a long ways to go. Good grief .. I'm finding as I shift the more drama is being dropped in m...	Pushka	6	514	Nov 3, 2011 by Michelle814
	advice for mother of son new to recovery (Preview) I am a mother of a 28 year old son newly returned from treatment. He is very sensitive and irritable. He doesn't want to talk about treatment too much. Today I clearly was nervous because it was his first day alone with no family members around. When he didn't answer his phone I got really worried that he...	mousie1	19	484	Nov 3, 2011 by Pushka
	Too much Alanon? (Preview) I'm not sure if this is appropriate lol I am pretty disheartened at the moment and quite down. Normally that would send me into the next meeting or phoning an alanon friend. But what do you do if the source of the problem is that I have been around alanon for a long time and feel completely detached from the...	f2fmember	8	892	Nov 3, 2011 by f2fmember
	really struggling lost struggling relapse worry fear hopeless (Preview) I have been really struggling. I have had my own sort of relapse this past week. I have been caught up in things that are not of my concern, worrying about the past, scared of the future. questioning my husband about how his own program has been going.. constantly asking whats going on in his mind.. hor...	Michelle814	15	9763	Nov 3, 2011 by Michelle814
	Did good today - reaching out and trusting (Preview) Hi All, I'm still here, though not much has changed since my last posting. Just went another round on the roller coaster with my ex BF. Calling it a roller coaster is kind of ridiculous though because it doesn't even begin to describe what the experience does to my heart. Anyway, we did finally talk on th...	Doozy	6	534	Nov 3, 2011 by Breakingfree
	Living in a non A environment (Preview) For 4 years I lived around addicts and alcoholics and put a lot of boundaries in place. I would say every day without fail the boundaries were tested on different levels. At some points I dreaded going out the door. Now for 2 weeks I am living in a non A environment. Here is the difference: 1) No fear abou...	orchidlover	6	565	Nov 3, 2011 by orchidlover
	AB & Boundaries (Preview) My brother has been getting a lot of resistance from family members that have set boundaries. I started the I dont want to talk to you when youre drunk boundary, and it worked great for me and my sanity. It was bad. Sometimes he couldnt talk. After that boundary was set, he never had a fat tongue when I tal...	NCSUgeology	8	488	Nov 3, 2011 by NCSUgeology
	I feel very lonely and isolated in this relationship. (Preview) The title says it all really. There have been some posts recently about being in a relationship and feeling totally lonely. That's exactly how I feel. I can be intellectually stimulated when I'm at university (I've just started a PhD). I've started going back to Jiu-Jitsu after a 4 year break and I'm a...	jitsuka	7	531	Nov 3, 2011 by tommyecat
	Is he trading one issue for another? (Preview) Some of you may remember that my AH went to see his psychiatrist and was warned not to drink while on his antidepressants. As far as I know he hasn't been drinking, at least not in my presence. He may be drinking while traveling for work but I can't prove it nor do I care. Anyway, I was helping him with som...	ilovedogs	9	646	Nov 3, 2011 by tommyecat
	Don't know what to think (Preview) I don't know what to think or maybe I am reading too much into it. But I got a letter from my AH today and in his letter he says, "God honey I am so so sorry for my wrong doings and I'm going to get help for my alcoholism. I ask that you also work a program to help us both through my disease, for better or wors...	jmanning	14	593	Nov 3, 2011 by tommyecat
	??? (Preview) When they say "If your not sure...don't" does that apply to getting rid of ur A?? Pretty sure today is going to be the day... I can feel it... I feel I know I'm going to regret it also.... I don't know what to do... I got the name calling this morning too which was AWESOME after being up all night to...	kris10	16	608	Nov 3, 2011 by tommyecat
	Up all night (Preview) 730 in the morning and i havent slept all night because my Abf has been banging around all night cleaning ( heroin induced) now i get to try and take care of a sick little one all day... ( my son) god im going to need some help today.........	kris10	5	380	Nov 3, 2011 by tommyecat
	Need Advice (Preview) Hi all. I've had a great deal of experience of living with an active A, who has been my ex for quite some time now. In other words, I've not lived with "active" addiction in some time. However, now my grown sons have the addiction or ACOA issues that make it tough for me sometimes. My curren...	Grace7	14	554	Nov 3, 2011 by Pushka
	back with my ex a (Preview) he thought id never come back ,was sooo happy to c me as i was him,we will always love each other,i do know now he wants it as bad as me to work out for us ,he is doing better with his drinking but still drinks um 4 24oz a day instead of a case and a pint of vodka,my freind told me that it could all blow up ,this i know...	lookingup	6	646	Nov 3, 2011 by pinkchip
	Continued Recovery...Yay... (Preview) Hello MIP ;0) I know its been a while, but it is def, the time of the change of Seasons for me... Some Good =) Some Not so Much :'( My Son ended his Soccer Outdoor Season, and we are about to begin our Soccer Indoor season, which isn't near the hassle, its only 1 day a week, and tho I signed in as Coach, I have tr...	Jozie	7	420	Nov 2, 2011 by hotrod
	Struggling (Preview) Throwing myself quite a pity party today (combination of phases 1 and 3 Tom!). I am having such a hard time coping...my mom's terminally ill, I'm living in a new area where I know nobody because I lost my job in my old area...I need support and understanding and compassion so much, but it's nowhere to be f...	stephaniej	7	644	Nov 2, 2011 by Breakingfree
	Im going out (Preview) I am going out to a show that I bought ticket for myself and my friend. to see a psychic medium Hubbie doesn't want to come. He came to one before and liked it, but isn't really into it. Now here is the bit.... A month or so ago, I would not have bought the tickets becasue whenever I go out.. I know he will stay h...	Lindaoakford	8	384	Nov 2, 2011 by hotrod
	How do you take care of yourself (Preview) For me taking care of myself was really foreign for a long time. I left 7 years of non stop chaos and crises to live by myself. Initially I've been surrounded by roommates who are addicts and alcoholics and some other stuff in there too. Their chaos and out of control life certainly came in to affect me...	orchidlover	9	585	Nov 2, 2011 by orchidlover
	Looking for some good esh! (Preview) Last night I came home from work and my husband was drunk. I ignored it and pretended I didn't notice. He is hiding the fact that he is drinking from me since I've started to go to AlAnon. He's not very good at it. LOL I have called someone from my group, read some literature. It's just kind of a bummer. Liv...	Cupcake	11	637	Nov 2, 2011 by pinkchip
	Serenity (Preview) God grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change The courage to change the things I can And the Wisdom to know the difference!!!!!!!! I really need this today!!!!!!!!!!!!!	amills4294	4	371	Nov 2, 2011 by rrib
	I am Very Disappointed there was no alanon meeting tonight (Preview) I could not get out to one in my area but was very glad to remember there was one here. I was so disappointed...I needed a meeting desparately. I'm having a problem with the fine line between detachment and honesty. I would like to have heard others speak on this subject. Sometimes I am so busy detac...	mdkm0726	7	519	Nov 2, 2011 by abbyal
	sometimes just tired.... (Preview) I know it's important to work the program, and really all I've been doing is reading daily readings and going to a face to face meeting once or maybe twice a week, if I'm lucky. Plus, participating on this board. It's hard to stay focused on it all the time. I hope to reach a point where it doesn't have to...	amills4294	4	443	Nov 1, 2011 by orchidlover
	learned the right lesson the wrong way (Preview) I'm sure I'm not the only one here who has had this phenomenon happen. I feel like I have just learned the lesson of detatchment [ well not with love, ] and self care, but not in the alanon way, instead in the wrong way. What I have learned is this: heartbreak can be cured with fear. My ex RA is REALLY acting u...	rara avis	6	518	Nov 1, 2011 by Lindaoakford
	Breaking out of isolation (Preview) In trying to reclaim my life, I have gotten busy and gotten out of the house a lot. I'm involved in some great groups doing both personal and civic things. But, what I haven't done is invite those who don't know me well into my "inner sanctum". Tonight, a few people who don't know I am the wife of...	Very Very Tired	6	754	Nov 1, 2011 by orchidlover
	Note to self: Never move an alcoholic's bottles (Preview) I normally don't move alcohol bottles or beer cans. They sit where they sit. Today was an exception. I was getting ready for tomorrow's big Halloween party. I needed counter space in the area where some bottles were. So, I moved the bottles to the basement in an area where I knew AH could easily find them...	Very Very Tired	7	3034	Nov 1, 2011 by Lindaoakford
	Dear Friends (Preview) My heart is sore. Our son passed away on Thursday. He is free of the torment and ravages of the disease..... for that I am grateful.Thirty five years ago today was a day of joyous celebration when I delivered him into this world at 11am, a healthy 7lbs 6 ounces with a mop of blonde hair. He grew to be a gentle...	Ness	28	760	Nov 1, 2011 by orchidlover
	How to stick to my word (Preview) New here and would like to hear how others handle keeping boundaries clear. The gist if my background is i come from a narcissistic mother and alcoholic father who quit after having paranoid delusions. My husband of 11 yrs and a decade younger than me lost his alcoholic dad as a child and was raised by a n...	Something simple	4	564	Nov 1, 2011 by orchidlover
	Applying slogans and terms (Preview) Sometimes it would seem that terms translate well from the big book of AA to alanon and sometimes they don't. Here is one term that definitely applies to big headed egotist alcoholics like me: Self-Will Run Riot: This phrase comes from chapter 5 of the Big Book, 'Selfishness- self-centeredness! Th...	pinkchip	14	1121	Nov 1, 2011 by tommyecat
	Control issues .. much? (Preview) Holy cow last night was a blast. My AH and I took the kids door to door trick or treating in our town that is not as easy as it sounds. We live in the country and that is not going to happen out here .. lol. For some crazy reason I never thought about driving to another area to go door to door. We've done trick...	Pushka	3	807	Nov 1, 2011 by never going back
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.