Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

ImMatt · ImMatt

Where do I belong, here in Al-Anon, in AA, or both? I know this is a question that only I can answer, but I really am struggling with it. My father was an alcoholic. He passed away on Christmas day. I know I want Al-Anon just based on this fact alone. It turns out, my wife is an alcoholic. She entered det...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

I have been gone for 3 days at a tennis tourament for my son. I noticed that AH and I communicate much better when we're just apart. So, basically that means a few texts a day and one phone call. It seems to work and we get along. What I have come to realize is that I need a break from him. A break from the i...

ksw1963 · ksw1963

I live in Tennesse and my adult son (24 years old) who is abusing alcohol lives in Florida. I have not seen him in three years; however, I have regularly talked with him on the phone. On the phone he tries to present himself in a good light. I have received word that he is "drinking himself to dea...

Pushka · Pushka

I had a good laugh at the expense of myself today .. I enjoy William Shakespeare quotes and for a while was posting pretty consistently on fb with them. Well hmm .. apparently the whole expectation thing goes back a little further than I realized .. LOL! I can't believe this isn't in one of the daily rea...

Smukke · Smukke

Hi Al-Anon community, I have been going to Al-Anon since two months and I can already notice changes in me and changes in the relationship with my AH. I noticed that many people do not really talk about the roots of their problems, rather about the present and how to think and live in a better way. I cannot...

georgem · georgem

Today has been a whirlwind day for me and my A. It started a while ago when she moved out of the house we shared and moved in to her moms house. When she was drinking her mom was and still is her biggest enabler. Then we moved on to just casual "dating". All of these were her ideas. This whole time it...

Sassy1 · Sassy1

Hello all... I'm really new to Al-Anon so my apologies if I just spew a bunch of word vomit. I started going to meeting last week, when the man I love told me he needed time & space and basically pushed me out of his life. We haven't been together long, but we fell hard & fast. We are both in our 40's an...

sagj · sagj

This is my first experience with Al-Anon. I found that the local group meets on Tuesdays at 8:00. So that is tomorrow. I have been sitting here for 6 hours trying to find some answers. My husband of 9 years recently quit drinking. This was after another violent episode where I had to call the police...

GreenerGrass · GreenerGrass

Hi everyone, I've been checking the board very infrequently as I've had major stuff going on. I think I told u all in feb my AH had a OD on Chrystal meth. Said he'd only done it a few times didn't know it was so powerful, it almost killed him, not gonna do that again.. Bla bla.. Well I went against my better jud...

TryingToChange · TryingToChange

In working on my personal inventory I'm coming to the conclusion I've always been screwed up when it comes to accepting love, compliments or any kind of gift from others. I think I have always believed I don't deserve it, that the only way to be "worth" anything was for me over sacrifice myse...

CDK · CDK

IThanks for your kindness in my original post. I think I am going to try my first meeting this week. I really dont feel well. Every second is a struggle. I read of people feeling relieved and free, and I dont feel that at all. My body is a mess. I dont sleep well. I either cant sleep, or I wake up drenched in sw...

Ruhig · Ruhig

Hi. I am an addict. My fiancée of 3 years is also. We both have been sober for more than 3 years. Last week, I got mad and beat up my fiancée. Why? He's not working his program. Ridiculous, right? I thought so too. I went to an aa meeting and shared this. And a woman told me to hit up an alanon meeting. So I'm tes...

lostinmyworld53 · lostinmyworld53

I'm currently in a long term relationship with a member of the NA program. He relapsed about two months ago and has been using steadily but safely. His weakness is alcohol and due to some recent events, he's started to drink more heavily. He told me that he's tired of it and wants to get clean and go bac...

Rosebud2860 · Rosebud2860

Tonight was my second night at Alanon, and I was already cryiing when I got there and trying very hard to keep my composure. A few people had spoken and all eyes were on me and I went ahead and started to speak. Maybe I spoke too much trying to fill in the blanks. But what I had come for was trying to deal with...

rara avis · rara avis

Hi everybody, I'm curious about your experience with how you felt/what you did after the extreme drama of an A/exA/exRA etc..was put to rest [ hopefully!!! ] My version, I alternate between go-get-um and brain mush, with probably too much self criticism thrown in. fyi right now my dog and I are sa...

drummerchick423 · drummerchick423

For those of you who were married to or dated alcoholics, and are/were single and dating, how do you feel about dating recovering alcoholics? I went out on a date with a guy who seems great. But he's in recovery. That scares the you know what out of me. I liked talking to him, because we could discuss the pr...

Jerry F · Jerry F

I am taking a break from work because if I didn't I'd start to get frustrated and then react with a lack of patience and anger. One of my soldering joints in a bathroom remodel job just won't seal so when I turn on the water....of course...IT LEAKS!!. So time out...get a Diet Pepsi and come to the board t...

Fina · Fina

If prayer is speaking to God, then meditation is listening to God. How do you speak to your Higher Power? How do you listen for and to your Higher Power? Please come and share your own experience, strength and hope on Prayer and Meditation. Please come and support the group and learn from the experie...

Daisy Girl · Daisy Girl

I attended my second F2F meeting today. Yea for baby steps! One of the questions I am still working with is, how do I protect my children from their father? In the past I have spoken up or stepped in when I feel he has crossed a line or I didn't agree with the way he was handling the situation. This approach al...

dragonflys · dragonflys

So I am not sure if I am in some sort of survival mode. I asked my AH to move out, and its been almost 2 weeks. After crazy talk for days, he has finally given up and realized that I am no longer going to fight with him so he has stopped texting. Thank you HP, I thought I was going to loose it there the first few d...

georgem · georgem

Where too start.... I have been in a relationship with my GF for about 4 years and about 18 months ago she joined AA and has grown so much and became a different person. I worry almost once a week about her drinking again. I know that i have no control over that and it had driven me crazy. First it started wit...

Oksie · Oksie

I have been pretty busy with stuff and havent been around much. I have been reading though. I have spent most of my time on the ACA board when i have been here Reading here sometimes gives me a sense of peace. I love the ACA board and i really wish more people would join us to share this peace from the alanon b...

GailMichelle · GailMichelle

Breaking Free mentioned in her post today that she realizes that life will bring daily struggles. This reminded me of how much better I am handling the struggles that are inevitable. (I like to refer to them as challenges; it sounds more feasible to me.) I have taken on a major project in our home. I n...

silent · silent

ive just read a post on this and its another one of my issues today cause ive allowed others to run all over me,wow ,ive never thought about it and that pateince i also thought was part of allowing others to run all over me,ugh.so how is the 2 separate is what im asking today ,lol this is been a part of life all...

seekingserenity · seekingserenity

Have you ever wanted something so bad that you let your mind convince you that God had put before you a path and you just had to trust? Have you ever thought God had sent a person to you who could love you because they saw life through the same lens you did? Have you ever met someone who you thought could help y...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

I have a long story to tell but I'll try to give the short version. I confronted my AH about the gun comments and about him driving on a suspended license. He agreed to live by my rules, which I clarified were actually boundaries but he didn't like it. I told him I'm not trying to control him but I don't tr...

CDK · CDK

Hello. I'm in the thick of it. Just left my alcoholic boyfriend of 4.5 years...well slipped out the back door really. Have sort of hung in there the last three weeks, hoping he'd get the point. Last night I found out, for some strange reason my best friend decided to invite him to be part of an art show. He...

Country Boy · Country Boy

I confronted my wife about her actions which led me to believe she was cheating. She admitted she had no idea who she was calling/texting & people are messing with her when she calls/texts them because they know what state she is in. I could tell she was feeling very guilty & embarrassed. She sa...

silent · silent

yestrday was my birthday so i get an unknown phone call from my ex a/d he tells me happy birthday then i ask him where are you at.he says at his bosses rent house all alone that his mom and him didnt see eye to eye so he walked over to the rental house oh my my heart goes to raceing he asks if i would bring my yorkie...

Jackie11 · Jackie11

I am thankful for positive growth and change. I'm thankful for my wonderful F2F meeting. I realize that it's important to focus on the positive. I am and have hit my head against the same wall over and over again. It comes to the subject of me traveling to see friends. I have local friends, I catch flack fo...

silent · silent

so far so good as ive managed to not try and run him down,but i havent been all that good just lucky me that he didnt answer me as i belive he is out of mins on his cell i texted him and said ..hi...but no answer back good for me,and ive been feeling like a stalker as ive or was checking his f/b page out but i defrei...

KLotus · KLotus

My AH was gone for a week, and returned yesterday evening (he is still staying with his parents). I let his mother take our 2 year old daughter to the airport to pick him up, so that he could have time with her. I have no idea where he has been, and have not asked. All I know is that I felt some relief this wee...

beckylee · beckylee

Hi everyone, i am here hoping to get some wisdom and insight into this disease. I have posted my info on my Bio if anyone is interested. I am recently seperated (His decision) my AH " Doesn't want to be accountable to anyone. " He is living in a small apt a few miles away. He's been inconsistent w...

FORGE AHEAD · FORGE AHEAD

I have been married for 20 years and my husband and I have 4 kids together. For at least the past 8 years, I have been watching my husband drink pretty much every thursday, friday and Saturday night starting at around 5 and ending at 2am. He gets up around 8 or 9am on the weekends and is with our family most...

orchidlover · orchidlover

As someone who was pretty deprived as a child patience isn't something I have much of. I want everything yesterday because I'm always aware that life is scarce and everything can end tomorrow. After a lifetime of being around alcoholics of course that is true because their crises are never ending. ...

Jennifer · Jennifer

We talk a lot about detaching with love but love with detachment is what I experienced today. My exAH moved back to the state a few weeks ago and has helped me with a few things during finals and an acute attack of my disease. It has been nice to have to the help from someone who knows me well enough to not have...

Jerry F · Jerry F

It happens, I've witnessed it before and got to see it again last night. Newcomers outnumbering the oldtimers at the start of the meeting. So we did the meeting on the pamphlet "Understanding Ourselves and Alcoholism". It was a refresher course for me and brought back lots and lots of...

amills4294 · amills4294

My MIL 75th bday is this weekend. My H is throwing a last minute dinner party at an expensive restaurant for 20 people in honor of her and he's asking to invite my parents. We've always gotten together for holidays because of our daughter - both sides came to our house so we didn't have to go to each of thei...

Highlyfavored · Highlyfavored

Hi! I'm sitting here with my mouth open! I called my daughter and told her "I'm not going to be able to help you with school" she said "OK" and hung up, not even a goodbye. I'm ok with this, but a little surprised, I thought I would at least be able to complete a sentence. Gettingit...

liljeannie · liljeannie

Hello yet again, Some of you may remember me, some not. For those of you that do, you may remember my posting about the vicious assault on me by my now former abf of 9yrs, which happened last July. It took until May 17th to go to trial, and on Friday, May 18th a jury of seven found him not guilty. I am totall...

sookie · sookie

This week has put me back on the roller coaster. My separated AH, who was presumably sober for several months began drinking and hiding it, inlcuding going to work drunk and showing up here drunk on a day he watches our 2 girls so I can go to Al-Anon meetings. Once again, my boundaries were pushed to the li...

stephaniej · stephaniej

Last weekend, my daughters stayed with their dad (90% of the time, they are with me on the weekends, but every once in awhile they stay at their dad's for a family function). I have come to dread those weekends, because my AH tends to be much more likely to be emotionally abusive. I am sure that in his min...

Country Boy · Country Boy

My AW comes home tomorrow from a weeks vacation. I have searched my heart, thought it out logically & prayed for clarity on the situation. Everything is pointing to me asking for a divorce. She doesn't know I know about her infidelity. She be home for hours before me so I know she won't be in a conditi...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

For almost 2 weeks I was unable to get on here at home, which was hard this is a big outlet for me. I have slipped a little with my exAH which tells me I am right to move an hour and a half away, including a ferry ride. I am stressed with my big move in the next 2 weeks. I have rented a U-haul for June 5th and am stil...

Overcome · Overcome

I have been reading some posts tonight about some of you setting boundaries and finding your inner strength with your marriages/relationships. I am so glad to see how al-anon works if you work it! I thought maybe I would share some of my expereince strength and hope (e,s,&h) on the board regardin...

AStrongerMe · AStrongerMe

For the first time my RBF and I had some "things" to talk about. And generally I struggle with feedback as my co dependent reaction is a mix of "OMG I'm flawed, it's fatal" which can lead to bad reactions. I did something that was a good boundary. Because I'm learning that there i...

willowtree · willowtree

Has anyone had issues of being in alanon with someone who you just cannot stand being around? There is a lady who has been coming for many years and she seems to have all of the answers and is very judgmental of me when I ask her questions. I feel looked down upon. We only have few little meetings around h...

Highlyfavored · Highlyfavored

I shared on this yersterday, my daughter asked for help in getting into a GED program and she did'nt follow through. Today she called, nothing about yestrrday. I spoke to my sponsor and she asked if I hadn't helped her enough already, gave her a car, she lost it to impound, gave her a place to stay for ov...

LeahC · LeahC

Hello, I have made a few posts on here and am trying to make a habit of opening up what's going on with me so I deal with it in a healthy way and not let it sit and fester in me. I really like this website and the amazing support on here for everyone. I live with my alcoholic boyfriend and my 2 year old daughter. I h...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I am so glad that my mom & I not only survived our trip on Saturday but we also didn't have to go to court yesterday(Monday) except me had to meet w/ the prosecuting attorney because she pleaded guilty to inattentive driving--she was under the influence of hydrocodone. It was a mess but now my mom is b...

Dolly Llama · Dolly Llama

It's been 3 months since I last saw my AH, 2 months since we agreed to file for divorce and had any sort of email exchange about anything except the divorce stuff. I have been doing really well, minding my own business and going after my goals. Lately I've been thinking about my AH. Not in a needy way. I f...

Jerry F · Jerry F

over the process and am powerless over the outcome. Aloha all. Been doing lots of face to face work with my higher power with alot more listening (with an open mind) and memory work on the process. The program is mine to work...that's the process...my responsiblility and choice on how I do it. I com...

Debilyn · Debilyn

I am thinking about me. Not how sad it is he is a miserable mess dying ever so slowly from his disease. How it took everything from me. It's not so much the material stuff, as that is not important to me. I only want/need the basics. Good quality ones. Was thinking how I am struggling so hard financially. Th...

LeahC · LeahC

Hello, Posted a couple times on here, recently was last night. I have something more on my mind now. To those who aren't familiar with me, I live with my alcoholic boyfriend and our 2 year old daughter. His drinking is out of control lately. Drinking every day and then getting in the car to drive which I p...

Dolly Llama · Dolly Llama

This has been on my heart and mind lately and hope it will help someone else. It helped me. When my mind starts spinning with the why's and why not's...I answer myself, "Because he's an alcoholic." Four little words that I struggle to accept or understand at times, but all the truth I need....

AStrongerMe · AStrongerMe

I guess I consider myself lucky, blessed, what have you. I met someone recovering from alcoholism but after I'd gotten pretty far into my own recovery from another bad relationship. Not alcoholic but might as well have been. I'm just no longer willing to lose me. I guess after you lose yourself for...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

I am trying VERY hard to mind my own business, keep my mouth shut, and I am avoiding confrontation with him right now. He seems very depressed after the sentencing last week and I already know he's been shopping for guns online. Not sure why yet, but he's always been the type of guy to say, "The bes...

srtiels · srtiels

OK....the back story, my AH has been a drinker for 50 years, at a rate of 2 liters every 3 days. He drinks from 9-12PM. He says it is pain management for his back. He is 70, and over the last year has lost the muscle tone in his legs and can hardly stand, will not try to walk and stays in bed 24/7. In looking a...

amills4294 · amills4294

In the past several days I've recognized some real changes in myself in how I react to others. They are baby steps but boy does it feel good. My H does things that I don't like - I used to interject myself into those things and situations and get embroiled in them. Thanks to this program I'm finding I do t...

Bargee · Bargee

This is a really long post, so I understand if you don't want to read it. As some of you may know I'm at my wits end with my AH and the way he has been treating me. At the moment I really cannot stand him. So...anyway we wake up this morning and the first thing he wants is sex!! We have hardly even spoken civill...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Where do I belong? (Preview) Where do I belong, here in Al-Anon, in AA, or both? I know this is a question that only I can answer, but I really am struggling with it. My father was an alcoholic. He passed away on Christmas day. I know I want Al-Anon just based on this fact alone. It turns out, my wife is an alcoholic. She entered det...	ImMatt	8	909	May 29, 2012 by Herb5865
	Realized I need a break (Preview) I have been gone for 3 days at a tennis tourament for my son. I noticed that AH and I communicate much better when we're just apart. So, basically that means a few texts a day and one phone call. It seems to work and we get along. What I have come to realize is that I need a break from him. A break from the i...	ilovedogs	4	711	May 29, 2012 by Herb5865
	New here and need advice (Preview) I live in Tennesse and my adult son (24 years old) who is abusing alcohol lives in Florida. I have not seen him in three years; however, I have regularly talked with him on the phone. On the phone he tries to present himself in a good light. I have received word that he is "drinking himself to dea...	ksw1963	2	379	May 29, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Expectations (Preview) I had a good laugh at the expense of myself today .. I enjoy William Shakespeare quotes and for a while was posting pretty consistently on fb with them. Well hmm .. apparently the whole expectation thing goes back a little further than I realized .. LOL! I can't believe this isn't in one of the daily rea...	Pushka	3	378	May 29, 2012 by amills4294
	Anger (Preview) Hi Al-Anon community, I have been going to Al-Anon since two months and I can already notice changes in me and changes in the relationship with my AH. I noticed that many people do not really talk about the roots of their problems, rather about the present and how to think and live in a better way. I cannot...	Smukke	4	514	May 29, 2012 by Pushka
	Decisions (Preview) Today has been a whirlwind day for me and my A. It started a while ago when she moved out of the house we shared and moved in to her moms house. When she was drinking her mom was and still is her biggest enabler. Then we moved on to just casual "dating". All of these were her ideas. This whole time it...	georgem	1	363	May 29, 2012 by Jerry F
	In love with an alcoholic (Preview) Hello all... I'm really new to Al-Anon so my apologies if I just spew a bunch of word vomit. I started going to meeting last week, when the man I love told me he needed time & space and basically pushed me out of his life. We haven't been together long, but we fell hard & fast. We are both in our 40's an...	Sassy1	7	915	May 29, 2012 by Jerry F
	Just found a meeting location (Preview) This is my first experience with Al-Anon. I found that the local group meets on Tuesdays at 8:00. So that is tomorrow. I have been sitting here for 6 hours trying to find some answers. My husband of 9 years recently quit drinking. This was after another violent episode where I had to call the police...	sagj	1	475	May 29, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Hi everyone, heres my update! (Preview) Hi everyone, I've been checking the board very infrequently as I've had major stuff going on. I think I told u all in feb my AH had a OD on Chrystal meth. Said he'd only done it a few times didn't know it was so powerful, it almost killed him, not gonna do that again.. Bla bla.. Well I went against my better jud...	GreenerGrass	5	486	May 29, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Why am I like this? (Preview) In working on my personal inventory I'm coming to the conclusion I've always been screwed up when it comes to accepting love, compliments or any kind of gift from others. I think I have always believed I don't deserve it, that the only way to be "worth" anything was for me over sacrifice myse...	TryingToChange	4	407	May 29, 2012 by maryjane
	Trying so hard... (Preview) IThanks for your kindness in my original post. I think I am going to try my first meeting this week. I really dont feel well. Every second is a struggle. I read of people feeling relieved and free, and I dont feel that at all. My body is a mess. I dont sleep well. I either cant sleep, or I wake up drenched in sw...	CDK	8	535	May 29, 2012 by Pushka
	Question? (Preview) Hi. I am an addict. My fiancée of 3 years is also. We both have been sober for more than 3 years. Last week, I got mad and beat up my fiancée. Why? He's not working his program. Ridiculous, right? I thought so too. I went to an aa meeting and shared this. And a woman told me to hit up an alanon meeting. So I'm tes...	Ruhig	5	429	May 28, 2012 by Ruhig
	About to hit his bottom... relapse alcohol NA bottom (Preview) I'm currently in a long term relationship with a member of the NA program. He relapsed about two months ago and has been using steadily but safely. His weakness is alcohol and due to some recent events, he's started to drink more heavily. He told me that he's tired of it and wants to get clean and go bac...	lostinmyworld53	12	9154	May 28, 2012 by canadianguy
	Bad experience at Alanon tonight (Preview) Tonight was my second night at Alanon, and I was already cryiing when I got there and trying very hard to keep my composure. A few people had spoken and all eyes were on me and I went ahead and started to speak. Maybe I spoke too much trying to fill in the blanks. But what I had come for was trying to deal with...	Rosebud2860	20	4700	May 28, 2012 by Smukke
	Curious about others' experience with post-drama shellshock? (Preview) Hi everybody, I'm curious about your experience with how you felt/what you did after the extreme drama of an A/exA/exRA etc..was put to rest [ hopefully!!! ] My version, I alternate between go-get-um and brain mush, with probably too much self criticism thrown in. fyi right now my dog and I are sa...	rara avis	9	718	May 28, 2012 by rara avis
	dating recovering alcoholics (Preview) For those of you who were married to or dated alcoholics, and are/were single and dating, how do you feel about dating recovering alcoholics? I went out on a date with a guy who seems great. But he's in recovery. That scares the you know what out of me. I liked talking to him, because we could discuss the pr...	drummerchick423	26	11644	May 28, 2012 by lou
	A 12th step...again (Preview) I am taking a break from work because if I didn't I'd start to get frustrated and then react with a lack of patience and anger. One of my soldering joints in a bathroom remodel job just won't seal so when I turn on the water....of course...IT LEAKS!!. So time out...get a Diet Pepsi and come to the board t...	Jerry F	5	361	May 28, 2012 by likemyheart
	SUNDAY, MAY 27, 7 PM MEETING TOPIC: PRAYER AND MEDITATION meeting prayer meditation (Preview) If prayer is speaking to God, then meditation is listening to God. How do you speak to your Higher Power? How do you listen for and to your Higher Power? Please come and share your own experience, strength and hope on Prayer and Meditation. Please come and support the group and learn from the experie...	Fina	0	6892	May 27, 2012 by Fina
	Need ESH with children and AH (Preview) I attended my second F2F meeting today. Yea for baby steps! One of the questions I am still working with is, how do I protect my children from their father? In the past I have spoken up or stepped in when I feel he has crossed a line or I didn't agree with the way he was handling the situation. This approach al...	Daisy Girl	7	542	May 27, 2012 by Fina
	Survival Mode or a Feeling of Freedom? (Preview) So I am not sure if I am in some sort of survival mode. I asked my AH to move out, and its been almost 2 weeks. After crazy talk for days, he has finally given up and realized that I am no longer going to fight with him so he has stopped texting. Thank you HP, I thought I was going to loose it there the first few d...	dragonflys	6	737	May 27, 2012 by FinallyFree
	Newcomer here... (Preview) Where too start.... I have been in a relationship with my GF for about 4 years and about 18 months ago she joined AA and has grown so much and became a different person. I worry almost once a week about her drinking again. I know that i have no control over that and it had driven me crazy. First it started wit...	georgem	5	510	May 27, 2012 by georgem
	Havent been around much (Preview) I have been pretty busy with stuff and havent been around much. I have been reading though. I have spent most of my time on the ACA board when i have been here Reading here sometimes gives me a sense of peace. I love the ACA board and i really wish more people would join us to share this peace from the alanon b...	Oksie	6	528	May 27, 2012 by orchidlover
	The Small Stuff (Preview) Breaking Free mentioned in her post today that she realizes that life will bring daily struggles. This reminded me of how much better I am handling the struggles that are inevitable. (I like to refer to them as challenges; it sounds more feasible to me.) I have taken on a major project in our home. I n...	GailMichelle	1	420	May 27, 2012 by Breakingfree
	allowing others to walk over me (Preview) ive just read a post on this and its another one of my issues today cause ive allowed others to run all over me,wow ,ive never thought about it and that pateince i also thought was part of allowing others to run all over me,ugh.so how is the 2 separate is what im asking today ,lol this is been a part of life all...	silent	7	579	May 27, 2012 by orchidlover
	I should have known better, but? (Preview) Have you ever wanted something so bad that you let your mind convince you that God had put before you a path and you just had to trust? Have you ever thought God had sent a person to you who could love you because they saw life through the same lens you did? Have you ever met someone who you thought could help y...	seekingserenity	8	560	May 26, 2012 by seekingserenity
	Why am I so bent on saving my marriage? (Preview) I have a long story to tell but I'll try to give the short version. I confronted my AH about the gun comments and about him driving on a suspended license. He agreed to live by my rules, which I clarified were actually boundaries but he didn't like it. I told him I'm not trying to control him but I don't tr...	ilovedogs	21	932	May 26, 2012 by Dolly Llama
	HI. I am new. (Preview) Hello. I'm in the thick of it. Just left my alcoholic boyfriend of 4.5 years...well slipped out the back door really. Have sort of hung in there the last three weeks, hoping he'd get the point. Last night I found out, for some strange reason my best friend decided to invite him to be part of an art show. He...	CDK	10	533	May 26, 2012 by CDK
	Some good news some ehhh?!? (Preview) I confronted my wife about her actions which led me to believe she was cheating. She admitted she had no idea who she was calling/texting & people are messing with her when she calls/texts them because they know what state she is in. I could tell she was feeling very guilty & embarrassed. She sa...	Country Boy	4	432	May 26, 2012 by Bettina
	update,update! (Preview) yestrday was my birthday so i get an unknown phone call from my ex a/d he tells me happy birthday then i ask him where are you at.he says at his bosses rent house all alone that his mom and him didnt see eye to eye so he walked over to the rental house oh my my heart goes to raceing he asks if i would bring my yorkie...	silent	8	682	May 26, 2012 by rara avis
	trying to keep my perspective (Preview) I am thankful for positive growth and change. I'm thankful for my wonderful F2F meeting. I realize that it's important to focus on the positive. I am and have hit my head against the same wall over and over again. It comes to the subject of me traveling to see friends. I have local friends, I catch flack fo...	Jackie11	13	628	May 26, 2012 by Jerry F
	another update!!!!! (Preview) so far so good as ive managed to not try and run him down,but i havent been all that good just lucky me that he didnt answer me as i belive he is out of mins on his cell i texted him and said ..hi...but no answer back good for me,and ive been feeling like a stalker as ive or was checking his f/b page out but i defrei...	silent	3	380	May 26, 2012 by Jerry F
	Monday update (Preview) My AH was gone for a week, and returned yesterday evening (he is still staying with his parents). I let his mother take our 2 year old daughter to the airport to pick him up, so that he could have time with her. I have no idea where he has been, and have not asked. All I know is that I felt some relief this wee...	KLotus	4	420	May 26, 2012 by Oksie
	Newbie Dry not sober AH (Preview) Hi everyone, i am here hoping to get some wisdom and insight into this disease. I have posted my info on my Bio if anyone is interested. I am recently seperated (His decision) my AH " Doesn't want to be accountable to anyone. " He is living in a small apt a few miles away. He's been inconsistent w...	beckylee	3	545	May 26, 2012 by Tigger
	do I tell my kids(formally) (Preview) I have been married for 20 years and my husband and I have 4 kids together. For at least the past 8 years, I have been watching my husband drink pretty much every thursday, friday and Saturday night starting at around 5 and ending at 2am. He gets up around 8 or 9am on the weekends and is with our family most...	FORGE AHEAD	11	733	May 26, 2012 by sookie
	Patience (Preview) As someone who was pretty deprived as a child patience isn't something I have much of. I want everything yesterday because I'm always aware that life is scarce and everything can end tomorrow. After a lifetime of being around alcoholics of course that is true because their crises are never ending. ...	orchidlover	4	549	May 26, 2012 by orchidlover
	Love with detachment (Preview) We talk a lot about detaching with love but love with detachment is what I experienced today. My exAH moved back to the state a few weeks ago and has helped me with a few things during finals and an acute attack of my disease. It has been nice to have to the help from someone who knows me well enough to not have...	Jennifer	6	573	May 25, 2012 by AStrongerMe
	Newbie meeting last night... (Preview) It happens, I've witnessed it before and got to see it again last night. Newcomers outnumbering the oldtimers at the start of the meeting. So we did the meeting on the pamphlet "Understanding Ourselves and Alcoholism". It was a refresher course for me and brought back lots and lots of...	Jerry F	4	467	May 25, 2012 by AStrongerMe
	trying not to control the situation :) (Preview) My MIL 75th bday is this weekend. My H is throwing a last minute dinner party at an expensive restaurant for 20 people in honor of her and he's asking to invite my parents. We've always gotten together for holidays because of our daughter - both sides came to our house so we didn't have to go to each of thei...	amills4294	6	539	May 25, 2012 by Inawhirl
	UPDATE! Results of ESH! (Preview) Hi! I'm sitting here with my mouth open! I called my daughter and told her "I'm not going to be able to help you with school" she said "OK" and hung up, not even a goodbye. I'm ok with this, but a little surprised, I thought I would at least be able to complete a sentence. Gettingit...	Highlyfavored	6	454	May 25, 2012 by Jackie11
	speechless (Preview) Hello yet again, Some of you may remember me, some not. For those of you that do, you may remember my posting about the vicious assault on me by my now former abf of 9yrs, which happened last July. It took until May 17th to go to trial, and on Friday, May 18th a jury of seven found him not guilty. I am totall...	liljeannie	6	540	May 24, 2012 by rara avis
	wishy-washy flip-flopping and struggling... (Preview) This week has put me back on the roller coaster. My separated AH, who was presumably sober for several months began drinking and hiding it, inlcuding going to work drunk and showing up here drunk on a day he watches our 2 girls so I can go to Al-Anon meetings. Once again, my boundaries were pushed to the li...	sookie	8	677	May 24, 2012 by orchidlover
	Working my program, finding small successes (Preview) Last weekend, my daughters stayed with their dad (90% of the time, they are with me on the weekends, but every once in awhile they stay at their dad's for a family function). I have come to dread those weekends, because my AH tends to be much more likely to be emotionally abusive. I am sure that in his min...	stephaniej	9	462	May 24, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Anxious about tomorrow (Preview) My AW comes home tomorrow from a weeks vacation. I have searched my heart, thought it out logically & prayed for clarity on the situation. Everything is pointing to me asking for a divorce. She doesn't know I know about her infidelity. She be home for hours before me so I know she won't be in a conditi...	Country Boy	9	640	May 24, 2012 by Breakingfree
	I am back up and running (Preview) For almost 2 weeks I was unable to get on here at home, which was hard this is a big outlet for me. I have slipped a little with my exAH which tells me I am right to move an hour and a half away, including a ferry ride. I am stressed with my big move in the next 2 weeks. I have rented a U-haul for June 5th and am stil...	Breakingfree	2	640	May 24, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Giving yourself time to recover before moving on... (Preview) I have been reading some posts tonight about some of you setting boundaries and finding your inner strength with your marriages/relationships. I am so glad to see how al-anon works if you work it! I thought maybe I would share some of my expereince strength and hope (e,s,&h) on the board regardin...	Overcome	7	488	May 23, 2012 by orchidlover
	I didn't break! (Preview) For the first time my RBF and I had some "things" to talk about. And generally I struggle with feedback as my co dependent reaction is a mix of "OMG I'm flawed, it's fatal" which can lead to bad reactions. I did something that was a good boundary. Because I'm learning that there i...	AStrongerMe	2	454	May 23, 2012 by Breakingfree
	people in the program (Preview) Has anyone had issues of being in alanon with someone who you just cannot stand being around? There is a lady who has been coming for many years and she seems to have all of the answers and is very judgmental of me when I ask her questions. I feel looked down upon. We only have few little meetings around h...	willowtree	8	527	May 23, 2012 by Dolly Llama
	Need ESH re: helping daughter! (Preview) I shared on this yersterday, my daughter asked for help in getting into a GED program and she did'nt follow through. Today she called, nothing about yestrrday. I spoke to my sponsor and she asked if I hadn't helped her enough already, gave her a car, she lost it to impound, gave her a place to stay for ov...	Highlyfavored	5	900	May 23, 2012 by Highlyfavored
	Trust (Preview) Hello, I have made a few posts on here and am trying to make a habit of opening up what's going on with me so I deal with it in a healthy way and not let it sit and fester in me. I really like this website and the amazing support on here for everyone. I live with my alcoholic boyfriend and my 2 year old daughter. I h...	LeahC	7	582	May 23, 2012 by Breakingfree
	my mom & I survived! (Preview) I am so glad that my mom & I not only survived our trip on Saturday but we also didn't have to go to court yesterday(Monday) except me had to meet w/ the prosecuting attorney because she pleaded guilty to inattentive driving--she was under the influence of hydrocodone. It was a mess but now my mom is b...	Hoot Nanny	2	294	May 23, 2012 by Jerry F
	Thoughts of contacting estranged AH (Preview) It's been 3 months since I last saw my AH, 2 months since we agreed to file for divorce and had any sort of email exchange about anything except the divorce stuff. I have been doing really well, minding my own business and going after my goals. Lately I've been thinking about my AH. Not in a needy way. I f...	Dolly Llama	17	718	May 23, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Not powerless (Preview) over the process and am powerless over the outcome. Aloha all. Been doing lots of face to face work with my higher power with alot more listening (with an open mind) and memory work on the process. The program is mine to work...that's the process...my responsiblility and choice on how I do it. I com...	Jerry F	9	721	May 23, 2012 by Breakingfree
	I guess today... (Preview) I am thinking about me. Not how sad it is he is a miserable mess dying ever so slowly from his disease. How it took everything from me. It's not so much the material stuff, as that is not important to me. I only want/need the basics. Good quality ones. Was thinking how I am struggling so hard financially. Th...	Debilyn	11	943	May 23, 2012 by Debilyn
	My daughter (Preview) Hello, Posted a couple times on here, recently was last night. I have something more on my mind now. To those who aren't familiar with me, I live with my alcoholic boyfriend and our 2 year old daughter. His drinking is out of control lately. Drinking every day and then getting in the car to drive which I p...	LeahC	4	651	May 22, 2012 by LeahC
	Why? Because s/he's an alcoholic. (Preview) This has been on my heart and mind lately and hope it will help someone else. It helped me. When my mind starts spinning with the why's and why not's...I answer myself, "Because he's an alcoholic." Four little words that I struggle to accept or understand at times, but all the truth I need....	Dolly Llama	5	477	May 22, 2012 by sookie
	Another Vote for taking care of yourself (Preview) I guess I consider myself lucky, blessed, what have you. I met someone recovering from alcoholism but after I'd gotten pretty far into my own recovery from another bad relationship. Not alcoholic but might as well have been. I'm just no longer willing to lose me. I guess after you lose yourself for...	AStrongerMe	6	554	May 22, 2012 by AStrongerMe
	Off topic: Need to vent about AH (Preview) I am trying VERY hard to mind my own business, keep my mouth shut, and I am avoiding confrontation with him right now. He seems very depressed after the sentencing last week and I already know he's been shopping for guns online. Not sure why yet, but he's always been the type of guy to say, "The bes...	ilovedogs	8	603	May 22, 2012 by Dolly Llama
	Need suggestions (Preview) OK....the back story, my AH has been a drinker for 50 years, at a rate of 2 liters every 3 days. He drinks from 9-12PM. He says it is pain management for his back. He is 70, and over the last year has lost the muscle tone in his legs and can hardly stand, will not try to walk and stays in bed 24/7. In looking a...	srtiels	12	2626	May 22, 2012 by orchidlover
	baby steps and recognizing my part in it all (Preview) In the past several days I've recognized some real changes in myself in how I react to others. They are baby steps but boy does it feel good. My H does things that I don't like - I used to interject myself into those things and situations and get embroiled in them. Thanks to this program I'm finding I do t...	amills4294	3	409	May 22, 2012 by Jackie11
	Feeling really angry (Preview) This is a really long post, so I understand if you don't want to read it. As some of you may know I'm at my wits end with my AH and the way he has been treating me. At the moment I really cannot stand him. So...anyway we wake up this morning and the first thing he wants is sex!! We have hardly even spoken civill...	Bargee	11	799	May 22, 2012 by Pushka
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.