Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Ontario · Ontario

Hi all. I am new here. I have been reading posts for quite some time and they do give me great comfort sometimes. I was with an alcoholic for 25 yrs, married for 16yrs. My father is an alcoholic as well, although I never really realized that until about 10 yrs ago..which I find odd. Good childhood I think j...

Lmtjude · Lmtjude

Never in a million years would I think I would be here. My daughter has a drinking problem and has for a couple years that I know of. Her husband also drank until he had a severe health problem and is not supposed to drink. Daughter had weight loss surgery several years ago and is not supposed to drink at all...

Adi · Adi

I have now been to 2 Alanon meetings, the people there are kind and helpful but when I hear what some have been through I feel guilty. My A has never said a bad word, raised a hand, put lives in danger had a day off work, he is a poor coper and has no self esteem. He has always had issues around being near lots of p...

hdftby100 · hdftby100

Not that I expected her for some reason but the AW couldn't do it. When I had told her that I was uncomfortable with her drinking at all she had told me she would not drink but would not go to this fitness cookout today. I said it was up to her. Guess I should've prepared more for when I came home. She was in...

rellik · rellik

Well tonight was the sixth night in a row my AW has not had a drink. With the exception of being in rehab it is the longest she has been without a drink in five years (since our son was born). I thought i would be happy, but i cant sleep and i dont feel happy. I dont feel excited. I feel more like i did the night bef...

Highlyfavored · Highlyfavored

I'm beyond amazed and hurt, I'm afraid to pray for God's will in this because I thought it was his will for me to help my nephews family out when they were pending homelessness. He was very sick, out on workman's comp. process was very slow, wife unemployed. He also ended up in addition to work injury,...

tiredtonite · tiredtonite

Recently, I was given a special assignment at work with some others in my workplace. The company is about to downsize although they've thought of a more friendly term for it as not to cause unrest within the company. My assignment is to fill in a key group of supervisors as to what fellow employees que...

hotrod · hotrod

HI EVERYONE EACH MIP MESSAGE BOARD HAS AGAIN BEEN ASKED TO WORK THE 12 STEPS ON THE STEP WORK BOARD BEGINNING 10-21 AND EVERY 2 WEEKS GOING FORWARD. THE FOLOWING IS A QUOTE FROM AL ANON 12 AND 12Twelve StepsIN ALANON WE BELIEVE LIFE IS FOR GROWTH-PHYSICAL, EMOTIONAL AND SPIRITUAL. GROWTH BEGAN FOR...

Debilyn · Debilyn

Many of you know how much I depend on this home. My family is all gone, and many of my friends who we could share everything with each other. Please I need as many of you who can, to give me your thoughts. Even pm would be great. I have shared I have a best friend, we have been in close contact for over 10 years no...

rellik · rellik

I don't know how everyone feels about music. But i found a song that really makes me feel good about "let go and let God" it is " the cave" by mumford and sons. When my spirits are down and i feel week, i play this song and i feel better about right now and tomorrow.

AStrongerMe · AStrongerMe

What's that saying, don't pray for patience, or God will test you? I've been working and learning to turn my life over to my HP. Guess he decided levelling things was a better way to start, apparently my foundation is shakey LOL. Ok this is "not" funny news, forgive my air of humor but this is...

Theoceancalls · Theoceancalls

Not that im terribly surprised.he texted at 3 yezterday to say he was at budxies an hourplus from home...would prob have dinner and then "who knows". That was the last I heard from him despite me texting asking that he call our child to say gnight...didnt happen. The excuse is always....my...

denro · denro

My business partner keeps promising me money. He keeps making promises and breaking them. I get attached, uncomfortable and resentful. I know I need to turn it over to the higher power and I am struggling with that. I am looking to see how I can make it more natural to let it go and let my business partner b...

sisdragonfly1957 · sisdragonfly1957

I left My A/BF on Wednesday, Moved in with my daughter, got a job ( A hard job making 55.00 a day cash for 3 days) Tomarrow will be my 2nd Day. My A calls tonight, begging, begging to please come home. Things will be different. On, and On..... He has made promises before, but this time is different, it's like...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I am waiting for the results from all the tests & on Monday I hopefully will know what is going on w/ all the pain in my body. I have been struggling a lot & I just want to know what is wrong, what it is called & what the doctor can do about it--treatment. I will let you all know as soon as I can. It is s...

Desirae · Desirae

Todays meeting is scheduled for 10:00AM Eastern time. I am just wondering if there is a chair today...

CDK · CDK

Just wanted to pop in and say hello. I still read here several times a week, and continue to learn and grow from you all. Thank you all so much. Im doing so much better than I ever thought possible when I first showed up here ay the beginning of the summer. I have decided to continue my 12 step journey in a CoDa...

Umutlu · Umutlu

This is my first time posting. I've never been to a meeting and I've only ever told two people that I think my husband has a drinking problem. I am 48 years old, I've been married for 21 years. I have two teenage children. I live in Europe. I am married to a wonderful man. He is loving, affectionate, support...

hdftby100 · hdftby100

When I was looking at our online banking today comparing it to our checkbook, I noticed that this morning the wife must have gone to the grocery store on the way in to work. Guess what my first thought was...? Yes, I bet she bought some alcohol. Maybe a small breakthrough but here is how my thoughts wen...

Jozie · Jozie

This Seems at times in My Life! I Start the Fun Little Roller Coaster Ride, and then when it gets going in all directions I Find a Safe Place to Land & Get off! I hand My Problems & My Life over to the God of My Understanding... Then... I take it back... I know I'm Human & Not Alone but sometimes It...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

I have been having my struggles as of late and not only with the wise old timers, but with the new comers I am learning so much! I am so glad to listen to their ESH. Where they are at also reminds me of what I have been through and thanks to Al-anon it's a lot easier. I have my handy tool belt with lots of tools a...

hdftby100 · hdftby100

Ok, so the AH got that I did not have a great day. I had told her on the phone (she was addimant and asked) that I was not comfortable with her drinking at all. She said "So now things have changed and you don't want me to drink at all." I replied that the decision was hers to do what she wanted to d...

Jackie11 · Jackie11

Over the past several weeks I can't tell you how many times I have heard about how my AH wants to stop drinking but can't. How he prays everyday that he will stop. I could go into detail about the positive changes and growth. The taking ownership, and great strides made in being less selfish. Except that w...

hdftby100 · hdftby100

Ok, so I went to my first meeting. Not really what I thought. I plan on continuing with Al-Anon to give it a chance as everyone has suggested. I also plan on attending more than one group to see which one "fits" me if that makes sense. I was the only male there and most of the women were older (...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

I am pissed that my boyfriend last night was found to be be sneaky and hiding fb messages between him and the girl we had already had to discuss due to a weird party photo of them previously titled getting leighed with Jen, funny huh, not to this girlfriend, Why would he be needing hugs and hanging on som...

davie · davie

Hi everyone, im new to this but i know full well that alanon and a.a support groups can help with people in desperate times when no one understands and no one knows what it like living with an alcoholic. my situation is that my wife of 11 years has been on and off alcohol for most this time wheras we breakup a...

bryteyes · bryteyes

Im not sure whats right or wrong or how to help.

Cherubhmm · Cherubhmm

I have been living with a functioning alcoholic for nearly a year now. I didn't realise at first that he was an alcoholic. Surprisingly. I've never existed near anyone who drank heavily or frequently. When we first got together it was a case of 8 pints a night, same on a Saturday and Sunday afterno...

stephaniej · stephaniej

Boy, this day got off to a terrible start. Went downstairs this morning to discover a huge puddle of dog pee in the living room, on my son's toybox. Cleaned that up. Then had a fight with my AH, in which he called me a name he has never, ever called me before, and which upset me more than anything else he ha...

hdftby100 · hdftby100

So far this week I have been feeling pretty good about the wife and her alcohol use. It appeared this week she had not had anything to drink. Had a HUGE setback this morning. As she was leaving for work I heard her put something in the trash can outside. I immediately thought "wonder if that is al...

ember127 · ember127

My father has been an alcoholic for my whole life and then some. He was a mean drunk for the most of my childhood and then his anger got better after I became an adult but his drinking didn't. He refuses to get help and tells us all that he drinks and we need to adapt to that. He still gets angry sometimes and no...

Honeybee52000 · Honeybee52000

Hello fellow Recovery friends! I am putting together a basket for an Al-Anon function... the theme: looking for a Loaf of Bread at the Hardware store. The problem: I cannot find the reading in our literature! AGH! We use this phrase all the time in meetings, and I cant find the reading (which I know ex...

EpiBound · EpiBound

Every once in a while I like to find the exact source of things. I first read the phrase "going to the hardware store for a loaf of bread" in early 1993. Since then I often hear it quoted, and a web search for the phrase shows how much of a commonplace it's become. But no one gives exact credit, an...

KateEN · KateEN

Does anyone have recommendations on al-anon literature? I am reading "How al-anon works" and have found it very helpful. I'd love some advice on where to go from here. I'm the child of an alcoholic, so anything geared towards this is especially helpful. Also, how did everyone find their...

Oksie · Oksie

HI all Not sure how many people are here who remember me. I went overseas for a while and didnt' get to computers or MIP. But I am back from my holiday. Things went quite well. My husband and I had a lovely holiday together, with the addict only coming out to visit when we went to Amsterdam (he is a pot addic...

Jozie · Jozie

Sometimes... HP's Greatest Gifts! Are Unanswered Prayers! I tell you I have been Fighting & Biting & Kicking My Way these last Couple Weeks! But I'm Nearin the Finish LIne, and I have to say, I will Feel a Least I Little Relief when it lands! I have been doing my best to stay IN the "Me &...

Highlyfavored · Highlyfavored

For the past year or so my sponsor have been dealing with her own issues, divorce and all the fallout from that, I've felt like the roles are reversed. Anyway, I've been thinking I needed a new sponsor. Yesterday, at a meeting I was impressed by a members comment during the meeting, she attends regula...

chinup · chinup

my a b/f came over just for a few mins to eat a bite or maybe it was more like 30 mins or so,anyway i was ready for him to leave as soon as he got here cause he drags his beer around withhim like its a purse,and i could tell with his personality he had a good buzz going,he still talking like we are married and what o...

tortuga · tortuga

I am currently trying to start, (still ongoing!!) my personal inventory. And I noticed, with the hint of my sponsor, that I wasn't completely 'fearful' yet to do that. I hadn't noticed before. Actually I am full of fear to write down those truths on paper I already know or noticed about myself. My spon...

dragonflys · dragonflys

I am so torn. This weekend was so emotionally confusing and draining. With my soon to be ex (yes, I have made up my mind) being so nasty ans saying such hurtful things, I wonder if I am making a mole hill out of a mountain or the other way around??? He wants to see his daughter this weekend. I want my daught...

TrudyS85 · TrudyS85

As AH and I are currently seperated and I am trying to figure out if I want to stay married to him, I have had to do a lot of soul searching. When I tell him my hesitations (all the years of lying, hiding, verbal abuse, etc.) he keeps coming back at me with "well if you can't forgive me then that's your pr...

Samantha87 · Samantha87

hey all! :) I was referred to join an Alanon group to learn how to cope with the (drug) addiction of my mother. I've been trying to muster up the confidence to walk into a meeting but for some reason I am finding that harder to do than I thought. I don't want to do it alone, I suppose. I thought randomly, maybe...

AStrongerMe · AStrongerMe

I've been in a "mood" for about half a week. I've been irritable, nit-picky and my favorite line "I can't stand to be around myself". Not in a beat myself up way, but I am trying to be more self aware. I haven't been feeling this way in awhile and I have the ability to either figure i...

peacewithin · peacewithin

Searching for myself again. Where have I gone and What happened to all my morals and plans for my life and how do I get that back. I have a sponcer she says to keep going to meetings that is how I will learn to find myself again. I know its part of codependence I lost all that. Only 7 years ago I went to school for...

hdftby100 · hdftby100

So I took some advice from here and went home. When the wife got home, I waited for her to sit down and breathe and I said I would like to talk to her when she got a minute. I told her I loved her very much but I was no longer going to police or monitor her drinking. I simply could not do that any longer. I told...

chinup · chinup

im still haveing issues with saying no to my ab/f,when it comes to him wanting to stay all nite with me when i really dont want him to,saying no to him when he wants sex when ive changed my way of thinking of all of it that his world isnt my world mine has changed alot that i dont want to do nothing thats gonna go...

Pushka · Pushka

We are working step 10 and while I am sifting through step 4 at the moment, step 10 has actually given me a new perspective in growth. I am dealing with some cycles going on at the moment. I know I am growing as situations that would baffle me and leave me spinning are now starting to untangle and I can see c...

slogan_jim · slogan_jim

Hi Everyone, My name is slogan_jim and I am a grateful member of Al-Anon. Tonight, I received a text message from the alcoholic. 'I need help'.....I phoned and he began to cry. Saying he cant do this anymore and he hates the way he is. He asked me to come over as he needed someone to talk to. I said 'OK, but I h...

tortuga · tortuga

This week was full of it... these moments used to make me sad and keep me low for days and days. Now that I decided to take EVERY crisis or challenge as an opportunity to change, or become more aware of things, here I got spoiled this week: I invited my ABF along to an official event I had to go for work. First I...

sisdragonfly1957 · sisdragonfly1957

We live in a small subdivision of about 2000, and it seems as if every is on those roxicodone pills. I hate them , I hate them. Today we had a lady who has no eletricity, has small children, someone gave her the money to pay it and she bought drugs that she shoots in her arms, and she is over here crying to my A ab...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Give God what is right,& not what is left! If God brings you to it--He will bring you through it! You know you have faith by what you do, not what you say! Words to live by, I guess! For whatever it is worth! More quotes to come--I hope you can handle them? Kathleen

Jerry F · Jerry F

(I shared this on the other board and at my morning AA meeting and appreciate any feedback from the entire family) That was the response from my sponsor this morning as I spoke about the 7th stop yesterday by the police which shouldn't have been a stop but was. My sponsor is a native cultural recovering...

hdftby100 · hdftby100

Well the good news is I made it through the weekend! I must admit that it was not without some headaches on my part. Friday night the wife got home from work and opened a bottle of wine. She asked me prior to doing it if it was ok if she had some wine. I was very proud of myself when I simply replied it was up t...

chinup · chinup

its me silent ,i lost my password so i had to get another one,so it came back as chinup instead of silent this time dunno y,ive been reading posts here and thinking to myself why why why do i keep going back into it,even though he is trying so hard to stop his drinking by slowing down ,its never he will never g...

Green Eyes · Green Eyes

My STBXAH's actions this past week have caused me to lose my serenity. I signed over our home of 25 years to him a week ago Friday in order to be released from the mortgage as a part of our divorce settlement and our court settlement with the mortgage company. On Monday, my divorce lawyer informed me that h...

dragonflys · dragonflys

He has continued through the entire weekend. Some of the things he said really hit me to the core. Now I am wondering if the whole, "no phone calls, only text or email" is working for me??? I cant forget what he said, its there in black and white. The phone conversation is fuzzy, I cant re...

Peggy7 · Peggy7

As I pondered with heavy concern my son's upcoming major back surgery (where the Dr.s have to enter him from both the stomach and the back) my son noticed the toll it was taking on me and simply said, "Mom, the big guy in the sky already has it handled, let's not sweat the small stuff." I was once...

denro · denro

Tomorrow, Monday my ex investment investment partner has a financial promise to keep. It's not even a huge amount of money in relation to the whole of our past dealings and what I am owed, however I am really dealing with that he will lie one more time. He has a three to five year history of breaking his wor...

shimo · shimo

I am unable to chair the Monday a.m. meeting. Hoping someone will be able to step up and chair for me. Thanks

rellik · rellik

I finally asked/told her to move out. She has no place to go she told me. She moved into our spare bedroom. I keep loosing and gaining my resolve. I go from crap i dont want her to leave to i gotta do this for me. I get home from work and i can smell her perfume and it kills me. Every essance of her still lingers he...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Not trusting my judgement (Preview) Hi all. I am new here. I have been reading posts for quite some time and they do give me great comfort sometimes. I was with an alcoholic for 25 yrs, married for 16yrs. My father is an alcoholic as well, although I never really realized that until about 10 yrs ago..which I find odd. Good childhood I think j...	Ontario	6	783	Oct 23, 2012 by Jerry F
	Help for my daughter (Preview) Never in a million years would I think I would be here. My daughter has a drinking problem and has for a couple years that I know of. Her husband also drank until he had a severe health problem and is not supposed to drink. Daughter had weight loss surgery several years ago and is not supposed to drink at all...	Lmtjude	4	494	Oct 23, 2012 by Temple
	Help me decide please (Preview) I have now been to 2 Alanon meetings, the people there are kind and helpful but when I hear what some have been through I feel guilty. My A has never said a bad word, raised a hand, put lives in danger had a day off work, he is a poor coper and has no self esteem. He has always had issues around being near lots of p...	Adi	8	602	Oct 23, 2012 by tiredtonite
	She couldn't do it... (Preview) Not that I expected her for some reason but the AW couldn't do it. When I had told her that I was uncomfortable with her drinking at all she had told me she would not drink but would not go to this fitness cookout today. I said it was up to her. Guess I should've prepared more for when I came home. She was in...	hdftby100	3	485	Oct 23, 2012 by tiredtonite
	First hurdle (Preview) Well tonight was the sixth night in a row my AW has not had a drink. With the exception of being in rehab it is the longest she has been without a drink in five years (since our son was born). I thought i would be happy, but i cant sleep and i dont feel happy. I dont feel excited. I feel more like i did the night bef...	rellik	6	501	Oct 22, 2012 by AStrongerMe
	Don't know what God's will is? (Preview) I'm beyond amazed and hurt, I'm afraid to pray for God's will in this because I thought it was his will for me to help my nephews family out when they were pending homelessness. He was very sick, out on workman's comp. process was very slow, wife unemployed. He also ended up in addition to work injury,...	Highlyfavored	9	652	Oct 22, 2012 by Highlyfavored
	practicing these principles (Preview) Recently, I was given a special assignment at work with some others in my workplace. The company is about to downsize although they've thought of a more friendly term for it as not to cause unrest within the company. My assignment is to fill in a key group of supervisors as to what fellow employees que...	tiredtonite	7	656	Oct 22, 2012 by tiredtonite
	STEP WORK BOARD (Preview) HI EVERYONE EACH MIP MESSAGE BOARD HAS AGAIN BEEN ASKED TO WORK THE 12 STEPS ON THE STEP WORK BOARD BEGINNING 10-21 AND EVERY 2 WEEKS GOING FORWARD. THE FOLOWING IS A QUOTE FROM AL ANON 12 AND 12Twelve StepsIN ALANON WE BELIEVE LIFE IS FOR GROWTH-PHYSICAL, EMOTIONAL AND SPIRITUAL. GROWTH BEGAN FOR...	hotrod	2	342	Oct 21, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Confused, and hurting need your help please. (Preview) Many of you know how much I depend on this home. My family is all gone, and many of my friends who we could share everything with each other. Please I need as many of you who can, to give me your thoughts. Even pm would be great. I have shared I have a best friend, we have been in close contact for over 10 years no...	Debilyn	19	854	Oct 22, 2012 by Debilyn
	My song of change (Preview) I don't know how everyone feels about music. But i found a song that really makes me feel good about "let go and let God" it is " the cave" by mumford and sons. When my spirits are down and i feel week, i play this song and i feel better about right now and tomorrow.	rellik	7	437	Oct 21, 2012 by rellik
	Awe HP you have a sense of humor! (Preview) What's that saying, don't pray for patience, or God will test you? I've been working and learning to turn my life over to my HP. Guess he decided levelling things was a better way to start, apparently my foundation is shakey LOL. Ok this is "not" funny news, forgive my air of humor but this is...	AStrongerMe	5	517	Oct 21, 2012 by Wolfie55
	he stayed out all night...again. (Preview) Not that im terribly surprised.he texted at 3 yezterday to say he was at budxies an hourplus from home...would prob have dinner and then "who knows". That was the last I heard from him despite me texting asking that he call our child to say gnight...didnt happen. The excuse is always....my...	Theoceancalls	9	3902	Oct 21, 2012 by pinkchip
	Handling a Broken Promise (Preview) My business partner keeps promising me money. He keeps making promises and breaking them. I get attached, uncomfortable and resentful. I know I need to turn it over to the higher power and I am struggling with that. I am looking to see how I can make it more natural to let it go and let my business partner b...	denro	8	557	Oct 21, 2012 by pinkchip
	Don't know how to handle this??? (Preview) I left My A/BF on Wednesday, Moved in with my daughter, got a job ( A hard job making 55.00 a day cash for 3 days) Tomarrow will be my 2nd Day. My A calls tonight, begging, begging to please come home. Things will be different. On, and On..... He has made promises before, but this time is different, it's like...	sisdragonfly1957	4	699	Oct 21, 2012 by Debilyn
	where do I go from here? (Preview) I am waiting for the results from all the tests & on Monday I hopefully will know what is going on w/ all the pain in my body. I have been struggling a lot & I just want to know what is wrong, what it is called & what the doctor can do about it--treatment. I will let you all know as soon as I can. It is s...	Hoot Nanny	4	531	Oct 21, 2012 by Debilyn
	Is there an Al-anon meeting today? :pc: (Preview) Todays meeting is scheduled for 10:00AM Eastern time. I am just wondering if there is a chair today...	Desirae	0	344	Oct 20, 2012 by Desirae
	Hello! (Preview) Just wanted to pop in and say hello. I still read here several times a week, and continue to learn and grow from you all. Thank you all so much. Im doing so much better than I ever thought possible when I first showed up here ay the beginning of the summer. I have decided to continue my 12 step journey in a CoDa...	CDK	2	398	Oct 20, 2012 by ilovedogs
	New and Confused (Preview) This is my first time posting. I've never been to a meeting and I've only ever told two people that I think my husband has a drinking problem. I am 48 years old, I've been married for 21 years. I have two teenage children. I live in Europe. I am married to a wonderful man. He is loving, affectionate, support...	Umutlu	7	647	Oct 20, 2012 by Theoceancalls
	So, I think my AW went by teh grocery store on the way to work... (Preview) When I was looking at our online banking today comparing it to our checkbook, I noticed that this morning the wife must have gone to the grocery store on the way in to work. Guess what my first thought was...? Yes, I bet she bought some alcohol. Maybe a small breakthrough but here is how my thoughts wen...	hdftby100	7	561	Oct 20, 2012 by Breakingfree
	On-Off... Give away-Take back.... (Preview) This Seems at times in My Life! I Start the Fun Little Roller Coaster Ride, and then when it gets going in all directions I Find a Safe Place to Land & Get off! I hand My Problems & My Life over to the God of My Understanding... Then... I take it back... I know I'm Human & Not Alone but sometimes It...	Jozie	3	521	Oct 20, 2012 by Breakingfree
	I am loving all the new comers (Preview) I have been having my struggles as of late and not only with the wise old timers, but with the new comers I am learning so much! I am so glad to listen to their ESH. Where they are at also reminds me of what I have been through and thanks to Al-anon it's a lot easier. I have my handy tool belt with lots of tools a...	Breakingfree	4	473	Oct 20, 2012 by Debilyn
	Can't sleep. Did some things wrong this evening and some mixed results... (Preview) Ok, so the AH got that I did not have a great day. I had told her on the phone (she was addimant and asked) that I was not comfortable with her drinking at all. She said "So now things have changed and you don't want me to drink at all." I replied that the decision was hers to do what she wanted to d...	hdftby100	6	611	Oct 19, 2012 by orchidlover
	keeping my focus (Preview) Over the past several weeks I can't tell you how many times I have heard about how my AH wants to stop drinking but can't. How he prays everyday that he will stop. I could go into detail about the positive changes and growth. The taking ownership, and great strides made in being less selfish. Except that w...	Jackie11	2	440	Oct 19, 2012 by Jackie11
	Went to my first meeting... (Preview) Ok, so I went to my first meeting. Not really what I thought. I plan on continuing with Al-Anon to give it a chance as everyone has suggested. I also plan on attending more than one group to see which one "fits" me if that makes sense. I was the only male there and most of the women were older (...	hdftby100	13	642	Oct 19, 2012 by Gailey
	Thinking, I am meant to walk alone atleast at this point. (Preview) I am pissed that my boyfriend last night was found to be be sneaky and hiding fb messages between him and the girl we had already had to discuss due to a weird party photo of them previously titled getting leighed with Jen, funny huh, not to this girlfriend, Why would he be needing hugs and hanging on som...	Breakingfree	11	2682	Oct 19, 2012 by Dawn Marie
	alcoholic wife wont let me move on !! (Preview) Hi everyone, im new to this but i know full well that alanon and a.a support groups can help with people in desperate times when no one understands and no one knows what it like living with an alcoholic. my situation is that my wife of 11 years has been on and off alcohol for most this time wheras we breakup a...	davie	12	846	Oct 19, 2012 by davie
	plz help im new. not sure how to write on here. im dealing with a recovery alcoholic who is verbally abusive. (Preview) Im not sure whats right or wrong or how to help.	bryteyes	9	728	Oct 19, 2012 by Jerry F
	Hi and help and advice please (Preview) I have been living with a functioning alcoholic for nearly a year now. I didn't realise at first that he was an alcoholic. Surprisingly. I've never existed near anyone who drank heavily or frequently. When we first got together it was a case of 8 pints a night, same on a Saturday and Sunday afterno...	Cherubhmm	9	675	Oct 19, 2012 by pineapple
	Saving a Rotten, Rotten Day (Preview) Boy, this day got off to a terrible start. Went downstairs this morning to discover a huge puddle of dog pee in the living room, on my son's toybox. Cleaned that up. Then had a fight with my AH, in which he called me a name he has never, ever called me before, and which upset me more than anything else he ha...	stephaniej	6	578	Oct 19, 2012 by pineapple
	Crushed this morning, barely holding it together. (Preview) So far this week I have been feeling pretty good about the wife and her alcohol use. It appeared this week she had not had anything to drink. Had a HUGE setback this morning. As she was leaving for work I heard her put something in the trash can outside. I immediately thought "wonder if that is al...	hdftby100	16	836	Oct 19, 2012 by wp
	NEED ADVICE (Preview) My father has been an alcoholic for my whole life and then some. He was a mean drunk for the most of my childhood and then his anger got better after I became an adult but his drinking didn't. He refuses to get help and tells us all that he drinks and we need to adapt to that. He still gets angry sometimes and no...	ember127	6	811	Oct 18, 2012 by Debilyn
	Loaf of Bread at the Hardware store loaf of bread hardware tools readings literature (Preview) Hello fellow Recovery friends! I am putting together a basket for an Al-Anon function... the theme: looking for a Loaf of Bread at the Hardware store. The problem: I cannot find the reading in our literature! AGH! We use this phrase all the time in meetings, and I cant find the reading (which I know ex...	Honeybee52000	1	7683	Oct 18, 2012 by Honeybee52000
	Hardware Store 100% Whole Wheat hardware store for a loaf of bread Courage to Change (Preview) Every once in a while I like to find the exact source of things. I first read the phrase "going to the hardware store for a loaf of bread" in early 1993. Since then I often hear it quoted, and a web search for the phrase shows how much of a commonplace it's become. But no one gives exact credit, an...	EpiBound	5	3690	Oct 18, 2012 by Honeybee52000
	Still learning.... Literature & Sponsor Sponsor literature (Preview) Does anyone have recommendations on al-anon literature? I am reading "How al-anon works" and have found it very helpful. I'd love some advice on where to go from here. I'm the child of an alcoholic, so anything geared towards this is especially helpful. Also, how did everyone find their...	KateEN	5	6230	Oct 18, 2012 by Honeybee52000
	I'm back (Preview) HI all Not sure how many people are here who remember me. I went overseas for a while and didnt' get to computers or MIP. But I am back from my holiday. Things went quite well. My husband and I had a lovely holiday together, with the addict only coming out to visit when we went to Amsterdam (he is a pot addic...	Oksie	6	529	Oct 18, 2012 by hotrod
	Sometimes... HP's Greatest Gifts! Are Unanswered Prayers! (Preview) Sometimes... HP's Greatest Gifts! Are Unanswered Prayers! I tell you I have been Fighting & Biting & Kicking My Way these last Couple Weeks! But I'm Nearin the Finish LIne, and I have to say, I will Feel a Least I Little Relief when it lands! I have been doing my best to stay IN the "Me &...	Jozie	1	579	Oct 18, 2012 by hotrod
	Getting a new sponsor (Preview) For the past year or so my sponsor have been dealing with her own issues, divorce and all the fallout from that, I've felt like the roles are reversed. Anyway, I've been thinking I needed a new sponsor. Yesterday, at a meeting I was impressed by a members comment during the meeting, she attends regula...	Highlyfavored	3	419	Oct 18, 2012 by hotrod
	i invited my a b/f over to eat (Preview) my a b/f came over just for a few mins to eat a bite or maybe it was more like 30 mins or so,anyway i was ready for him to leave as soon as he got here cause he drags his beer around withhim like its a purse,and i could tell with his personality he had a good buzz going,he still talking like we are married and what o...	chinup	4	791	Oct 17, 2012 by Debilyn
	ESH needed on detachment, and letting go of ones own shortcomings! (Preview) I am currently trying to start, (still ongoing!!) my personal inventory. And I noticed, with the hint of my sponsor, that I wasn't completely 'fearful' yet to do that. I hadn't noticed before. Actually I am full of fear to write down those truths on paper I already know or noticed about myself. My spon...	tortuga	4	695	Oct 17, 2012 by Kismet
	Molehill out of a mountain or mountain out of a molehill??? (Preview) I am so torn. This weekend was so emotionally confusing and draining. With my soon to be ex (yes, I have made up my mind) being so nasty ans saying such hurtful things, I wonder if I am making a mole hill out of a mountain or the other way around??? He wants to see his daughter this weekend. I want my daught...	dragonflys	2	748	Oct 17, 2012 by tiredtonite
	What Forgiveness Doesn't Mean (Preview) As AH and I are currently seperated and I am trying to figure out if I want to stay married to him, I have had to do a lot of soul searching. When I tell him my hesitations (all the years of lying, hiding, verbal abuse, etc.) he keeps coming back at me with "well if you can't forgive me then that's your pr...	TrudyS85	13	2029	Oct 17, 2012 by TrudyS85
	New here & would like some info! :) (Preview) hey all! :) I was referred to join an Alanon group to learn how to cope with the (drug) addiction of my mother. I've been trying to muster up the confidence to walk into a meeting but for some reason I am finding that harder to do than I thought. I don't want to do it alone, I suppose. I thought randomly, maybe...	Samantha87	4	533	Oct 17, 2012 by Jerry F
	Amazing what quiet will do (Preview) I've been in a "mood" for about half a week. I've been irritable, nit-picky and my favorite line "I can't stand to be around myself". Not in a beat myself up way, but I am trying to be more self aware. I haven't been feeling this way in awhile and I have the ability to either figure i...	AStrongerMe	5	483	Oct 17, 2012 by LulaMay
	Searching (Preview) Searching for myself again. Where have I gone and What happened to all my morals and plans for my life and how do I get that back. I have a sponcer she says to keep going to meetings that is how I will learn to find myself again. I know its part of codependence I lost all that. Only 7 years ago I went to school for...	peacewithin	4	531	Oct 17, 2012 by Breakingfree
	A good night (Preview) So I took some advice from here and went home. When the wife got home, I waited for her to sit down and breathe and I said I would like to talk to her when she got a minute. I told her I loved her very much but I was no longer going to police or monitor her drinking. I simply could not do that any longer. I told...	hdftby100	3	397	Oct 17, 2012 by AStrongerMe
	hard to say no (Preview) im still haveing issues with saying no to my ab/f,when it comes to him wanting to stay all nite with me when i really dont want him to,saying no to him when he wants sex when ive changed my way of thinking of all of it that his world isnt my world mine has changed alot that i dont want to do nothing thats gonna go...	chinup	6	596	Oct 16, 2012 by Jerry F
	Nothing changes .. nothing changes .. in gratitude (Preview) We are working step 10 and while I am sifting through step 4 at the moment, step 10 has actually given me a new perspective in growth. I am dealing with some cycles going on at the moment. I know I am growing as situations that would baffle me and leave me spinning are now starting to untangle and I can see c...	Pushka	5	578	Oct 16, 2012 by Jerry F
	The alcoholic had a pity party....times like this I feel alone (Preview) Hi Everyone, My name is slogan_jim and I am a grateful member of Al-Anon. Tonight, I received a text message from the alcoholic. 'I need help'.....I phoned and he began to cry. Saying he cant do this anymore and he hates the way he is. He asked me to come over as he needed someone to talk to. I said 'OK, but I h...	slogan_jim	5	1104	Oct 16, 2012 by slogan_jim
	a week full of opportunities to change... (Preview) This week was full of it... these moments used to make me sad and keep me low for days and days. Now that I decided to take EVERY crisis or challenge as an opportunity to change, or become more aware of things, here I got spoiled this week: I invited my ABF along to an official event I had to go for work. First I...	tortuga	2	515	Oct 16, 2012 by tortuga
	I did it again, I reacted! (Preview) We live in a small subdivision of about 2000, and it seems as if every is on those roxicodone pills. I hate them , I hate them. Today we had a lady who has no eletricity, has small children, someone gave her the money to pay it and she bought drugs that she shoots in her arms, and she is over here crying to my A ab...	sisdragonfly1957	4	642	Oct 16, 2012 by sisdragonfly1957
	hope I don't step on someone's toes, ouch! (Preview) Give God what is right,& not what is left! If God brings you to it--He will bring you through it! You know you have faith by what you do, not what you say! Words to live by, I guess! For whatever it is worth! More quotes to come--I hope you can handle them? Kathleen	Hoot Nanny	2	463	Oct 16, 2012 by Katy
	"Get a different Truck" (Preview) (I shared this on the other board and at my morning AA meeting and appreciate any feedback from the entire family) That was the response from my sponsor this morning as I spoke about the 7th stop yesterday by the police which shouldn't have been a stop but was. My sponsor is a native cultural recovering...	Jerry F	9	1061	Oct 16, 2012 by Jerry F
	Questions my thought process (Preview) Well the good news is I made it through the weekend! I must admit that it was not without some headaches on my part. Friday night the wife got home from work and opened a bottle of wine. She asked me prior to doing it if it was ok if she had some wine. I was very proud of myself when I simply replied it was up t...	hdftby100	7	574	Oct 16, 2012 by pinkchip
	im back (Preview) its me silent ,i lost my password so i had to get another one,so it came back as chinup instead of silent this time dunno y,ive been reading posts here and thinking to myself why why why do i keep going back into it,even though he is trying so hard to stop his drinking by slowing down ,its never he will never g...	chinup	4	426	Oct 16, 2012 by chinup
	Fair is Fair? (Preview) My STBXAH's actions this past week have caused me to lose my serenity. I signed over our home of 25 years to him a week ago Friday in order to be released from the mortgage as a part of our divorce settlement and our court settlement with the mortgage company. On Monday, my divorce lawyer informed me that h...	Green Eyes	8	662	Oct 16, 2012 by stephaniej
	and it continues and continues and continues (Preview) He has continued through the entire weekend. Some of the things he said really hit me to the core. Now I am wondering if the whole, "no phone calls, only text or email" is working for me??? I cant forget what he said, its there in black and white. The phone conversation is fuzzy, I cant re...	dragonflys	7	660	Oct 16, 2012 by stephaniej
	HP is GOOD!! (Preview) As I pondered with heavy concern my son's upcoming major back surgery (where the Dr.s have to enter him from both the stomach and the back) my son noticed the toll it was taking on me and simply said, "Mom, the big guy in the sky already has it handled, let's not sweat the small stuff." I was once...	Peggy7	6	404	Oct 15, 2012 by Hoot Nanny
	Facing a possible let down on Monday (Preview) Tomorrow, Monday my ex investment investment partner has a financial promise to keep. It's not even a huge amount of money in relation to the whole of our past dealings and what I am owed, however I am really dealing with that he will lie one more time. He has a three to five year history of breaking his wor...	denro	9	611	Oct 15, 2012 by AStrongerMe
	MONDAY A.M. AL-ANON MEETING (Preview) I am unable to chair the Monday a.m. meeting. Hoping someone will be able to step up and chair for me. Thanks	shimo	0	281	Oct 15, 2012 by shimo
	told her to move out (Preview) I finally asked/told her to move out. She has no place to go she told me. She moved into our spare bedroom. I keep loosing and gaining my resolve. I go from crap i dont want her to leave to i gotta do this for me. I get home from work and i can smell her perfume and it kills me. Every essance of her still lingers he...	rellik	11	691	Oct 15, 2012 by hdftby100
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.