Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

pinkchip · pinkchip

I've seen posts of people saying they were not prepared to leave abusive, alcoholic or just alcoholic partners. I wanted to add my personal experience without telling folks to ditch their partners. There is a difference between being ready or capable of doing what is necessary or feel you may want t...

lookingup · lookingup

how or what do i do to find my last post??ive lost it and i been flipping through all the pages and nothing,i cant find nothing,need help please if anybody here knows how to tell me how to get to my posts.ty looking up

lookingup · lookingup

here I am back here shoulda and should stay here but I always allow life to get me off track.my a b/f is now renting a room from me we are just friends been working out though he works 7 days a week 12 hour days so that's ok too,he don't drink as much if any I can tell if he has drank anything I set my bounderies wit...

mercedes1959 · mercedes1959

come join us

mm830 · mm830

That's what A said to me Thursday, plus some lather rinse repeat of the usual. I hung up, and haven't made any attempt to contact since. Yesterday I made a decision that this belongs to my HP to sort out now, not me. One thing I am struggling with is his mother invited us to Christmas with them, we have share...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

I'm still going along with plans to find a rental. It's harder than I thought, mainly because of the dog but also because I need to find something that I think will 'fit' us. I'm not looking for anything fancy but just something practical and it's amazing how expensive some rentals are! I'm feeling di...

Jen61 · Jen61

I have started reading about what triggers an A to start drinking again once they have stopped for a period of time. Any insight on this? Thanks, Jenny

texasgal · texasgal

Its been a long time since I've been on this site a lot has happened. My husband has been in full relapse mode for many months. At first it was a lot if lies and disappearances. Then one day he was so drunk he beat me. I stayed after that incident and I was very depressed I only left house to go to work. This past...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

Myself! I now have a break off from school for one whole month and I am going to eat healthy and work out and just enjoy myself and my friends and life. There were not enough people to take a super accelerated class for the January term class I needed to stay in the nursing program next semester. I made peace...

Iwantthingsback · Iwantthingsback

HI all! I have not been on in a few weeks. My home computer is about shot and it is hard at work at times. Things have been going really well and to be honest, I start reading posts and some of the negative or sad posts get me down when I am feeling happy. I still love it here and it still helps me a lot just need a...

Tracy · Tracy

Hi everyone, the topic at our meeting today was serenity. An old timer was sitting next to me as I shared about the first convention I attended Still very busy in my head still very very ill no serenity. I was rushing around and this old timer took hold of my hand and said very calmly, quietly, Tracy you kn...

brendastarr · brendastarr

My boyfriend's single mother was an alcoholic for the first 20 years of his life. She eventually went to AA and became sober for 10 years and for the past couple of years, she has started drinking again. She told him that she started drinking again after my boyfriend in a way vented his frustrations wit...

John · John

Hi Everyone! Our online Al-Anon group holds scheduled meetings every day of the week. 9am Monday - Friday 10am Saturday & Sunday 9pm Monday - Saturday 7pm Sunday. We have three chairperson slots open at this time. We would like to get these filled by currently active Al-Anon members with a mini...

Gaby · Gaby

I have prayed and surrendered to where I can't help my son. I have heard nothing as of right now. I know he knows to call me even collect to tell me that he is ok. I know there are churches or homeless shelters he can go to.. But I have to think of my family I have to take care of especially my 8 year old daughters t...

Melly1248 · Melly1248

Lots is right in my world these past couple of days. I am choosing to believe that because I kept myself calm and quiet (with the exception of whinging on here a bit) and reminded myself that "this too shall pass", my world has righted itself quickly and I have attracted some good karma. So I'l...

slogan_jim · slogan_jim

Hey everyone, My name is slogan_Jim and I am a grateful member of al-anon. My alcoholic father just called and said he wanted to take me out to dinner tonight. In theory that sounds great and should be a good time. He was sober and seems like he's been for a few days (he also called Thursday to say hi and was f...

John · John

I surrendered to the process of recovery and started this amazing journey. Thank you for trudging the road of happy destiny with me. John

Gaby · Gaby

My son has not gone back to the ranch.. Pastor now says he is not allowed back on the ranch. That he has consequences to deal with. He is out in a different state and I feel guilty. I am a mess. Yes I do attend ala-non meetings. I need to find me a new Sponser.. I have a lot of family and friends support.. But this...

HisMrsWright · HisMrsWright

Hi everyone! I have tried to write an update for days and I can't ever find enough time to do much. Working full time with 2 small children and taking are of life by myself has me running ragged! I continue to read and learn all of the information I can about codependency, being a wife of an alcoholic, and...

sadsusie · sadsusie

Okay, So I was expecting to hang out with my husband tonight. He has had a very busy day today. He has been getting a couple of guys to do some work on our house?clean up the yard, fix some things. He also got them to go pick up a piano he bought for me at a thrift store. A super sweet gesture, really nice piano, $...

Rose50 · Rose50

I was surprised to get an email from my son today after weeks of silence. He wrote that he's still living in the rooming house and desperately needs to move out as guys are overdosing on heroin and smoking crack. He says he's looking for work - he will take just about anything at this point. As a last resort...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Hi Everyone: It's been a while since I've posted but have gained so much ESH from reading all of your shares. I am upset tonight and having trouble getting past it. My oldest son (19) lives at home and is going to college locally. Mostly I love this. Tonight he asked to have some friends over. I said y...

neshema2 · neshema2

I wasn't gonna post this, but reconsidered bc some new folks might get a benefit from this bc I want to show just how MUCH this programme has worked for me...AND journalling out my "stuff" helps me move on as well.....I spoke w/my sponsor about this and she was like "OMG, you would in th...

Gaby · Gaby

My son woke up and walked off the ranch this morning.. He maybe out there in the cold.. Hungry .. And looking for his next fix. He is 4 hours away from me.. I can't live like this no more.. I can't save him .. I'm not god.. But I'm scared for him. I'm sick to my stomach and truly trying to realize that I can't help...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Aloha family..."No" is a complete sentence right? This time acting it out is better than verbalizing it because it was my Grand Daughter who I love to pieces who told me or was she asking hmmmm "you have to talk to dad (my eldest son who has relapsed)". Loving her permits me to...

John · John

I have been asked a few times if someone could have a copy of what I said in the meeting last night. I decided I would post it here, share it with everyone, and from here it can be copied by those who want to keep it for later reading. the topics were expectations, letting go of resentments, and acceptance...

Gaby · Gaby

I put in a face to face meeting last night. I clearly understand that I have to take it minute by minute. I clearly understand that I have no control of my son choices. He and I are 4 hours away and I can not rescue him because not only am I killing him but I'm killing me.. I wake up this morning with prayer. I am h...

Gaby · Gaby

Most of you know my situation with my A son.. He is 4 hours away because he said he does not want to live the way he has been living. He asked for the help. I provided it again. Today I get a phone from the recovery ranch and said my son walked off the ranch. This was 4 pm. I about fainted. Mind you he is out in no whe...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

So never the case .. LOL .. . (Any references I make that seem offensive in terms of God or He .. .. this is the God of MY understanding, please feel free to insert the God of YOUR understanding into those statements as a whole I think they are universally true.) First off, big hugs to everyone who is strug...

Tasha · Tasha

One thing that's going on with me is that I'm realizing I'm still just as manipulative as always - I just know how to hide it under recovery slogans - sayings - and ideas. The things that I've 'learned' I'm just now using to still get what I want from people - and try to make them what I want them. What I have...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

Good Morning my MIP family My X moved my son out yesterday and now is preparing for the arrival of him to his home. I asked my X if he needed the blow up bed for him and he said NO.....he will have a real bed in my home! OK I said. I'm relieved my son won't be homeless for Christmas but I'm upset that he will have...

Melly1248 · Melly1248

Tomorrow, daughter has her "end of year" party. I know, she just had a halloween party but the whole concept of "opening up our house" and actually inviting people over is sort of a symbolic step for me; I'm not going to hide in my home in shame and not let anyone in, nor let my daught...

Hope2000 · Hope2000

Trying really hard to keep to my side of the road. Had a good talk with AH Sunday, he told me he understood why I would be upset and he promises again to be more attentive to me, the kids and actively be there with us. He would quit choosing alcohol over us, spending time with friends over us. I reminded him Mo...

Gaby · Gaby

So my son was MIA as most of you knew. Our neighbors found him out of gas in his car on the side of the freeway. Well my intentions was to take the car away which that did happen. My son came home and got his last fixed and asked to head back to recovery. He looked like death.. My husband said and agreed let's do t...

PatrickSean · PatrickSean

This is my first post. I am so heartbroken. I have been dating and living with an alcoholic for the past 2.5 years. I never knew it would be so hard. I was ignorant to what it was like. The lies, the sneaking, the ruined holidays and dates. It was a mess. Lots of mistrust. I have 2 kids from a previous marriage...

ditto · ditto

Hi Everyone, I haven't been here in a very long time. In the past I did have a husband who was an a. I divorced him after 1-1/2 years of marriage as I couldn't handle his addiction and I was much happier alone. He died several years later and as cold as this may sound, I was happy I wasn't there for those fin...

TryingToChange · TryingToChange

It's been a while since I've posted or been to a f2f meeting. My ex A left over a year ago and moved 1400 miles away. He left me with no money, a house in foreclosure, a car that didn't run, bank account overdrawn, three kids at home and I was sick with lupus and on weekly injections of a chemotherapy medicat...

Nellybelly · Nellybelly

HI i am new here. I am having some trouble keeping the focus on myself and hope to get some insight. I work at a job that has a union. Recently i was working with the president of my local. He asked me to do some work with him and I was paid. My problem is that the way he works with me feels very uncomfortabl...

heythere · heythere

We've been dealing with our addict son for more years than I'd like to admit. Finally about 2 years ago we got serious about trying to stop the craziness. His dad and I told him he could no longer live in our home and off he went. Motels, couches, OD's, psych wards, rehab, sober living, then room rentin...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

Hi Everyone Had quite a morning. My son is in the hospital and then will be transferred to I'm guessing a mental facility. He tried to do himself in......because I told my son too many things that hurt him so bad he couldn't take it anymore. The apartment complex found him half inside and outside of...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

I truly feel my confindence sucking out of me and leaving me feeling completely inadequate yet again like when I lived with my A mother or husband and thought there was no better, I deserved no better. I have been on such a high since leaving my exAh 3 years ago and gaining self esteem and feeling worthy l...

brendastarr · brendastarr

My boyfriend's single mother was an alcoholic for the first 20 years of his life. She eventually went to AA and became sober for 10 years and for the past couple of years, she has started drinking again. She told him that she started drinking again after my boyfriend in a way vented his frustrations wit...

Lyne · Lyne

Last night my A was trying to pull a fast one. With roads turning to ice, my A announced she had to go "shopping" to pick up a prescription she doesn't need right now. I recognize this BS to mean she either needs to drink, eat, or gamble, so much so that she is willing to risk her life to take care...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Did I take advantage of him or did he just love me more than I deserved? I mean did my dad in the last stages of his life spend too much time enabling me? I know that he loved me but because of my illness could he have done it differently? I know that now is probably the wrong time to bring this up but I read a post j...

tortuga · tortuga

Do you get this sometimes? this confusion, when you think about the merry-go-round, when the fighting is over, when you stepped out or were forced due to circumstances to walk away? Sometimes I think, wow, how crazy we both were. then I think, how crazy he was for accusing me of things that are not me. T...

el-cee · el-cee

Sometimes I try to connect with my higher power through reading my alanon books or looking at nature and appreciating it and sometimes through the happenings in my day to day life. Recently, I have felt like this forum is my connection too. I always seem to read something I need and I feel like the people...

wifeofalcoholic · wifeofalcoholic

This is a quote that was sent to me. It is so true and such a good reminder to all of us who have been involved with an addict.I'm an addict. And this is what addicts do. You cannot and will not change my behavior. You cannot make me treat you better, let alone with any respect. All I care about, all I think...

texas yankee · texas yankee

I received another one of those "my life is crumbling around me" texts yesterday from my son, a 28-year old "dry drunk" addict - no crystal meth use for almost 8 years now, but he does use alcohol and some grass, and of course he doesn't go to meetings and he doesn't work a program. ...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

I am beside myself and just thought I could pull it off, but it was not going to happen. I need to decide by Friday if I want to try to take this class over accelerated in January or wait and take it slower next semester and give up my seat with my class now. STRESS!!!!

el-cee · el-cee

Sometimes I get angry when I think of the pain and suffering these children of ours cause us, but whats the use of that? They are oblivious, totally ignorant of the horrible feeling in the stomach, sleepless nights, fear and worry. They don't have a clue. They may listen if you try to tell them but they do...

Gaby · Gaby

Our neighbors husband found my son on the side of the freeway in his car out of gas. They called me and that was my opportunity to take the car. And I did just that.. My son would have now been left with nothing other then the streets and some way some how he figured I'll get my last high an do the rehab again. So...

Green Eyes · Green Eyes

I just rediscovered this entry in my journal and wanted to share it with other parents who are hurting right now, like me. It's from the Al-Anon Forum: My dear daughter, You asked me to write a letter stating the impact your addiction to alcohol has had on me. Ive given a great deal of thought to th...

giraffe13 · giraffe13

Im so angry and resentful. The deep seated kind of anger. Does anyone have any suggestions of how to deal with that? It is coming from the fact that my alcoholic boyfriend is playing crazy-making games with me. IE: treating me badly and then when I have boundaries and don't want to spend time with him b...

Carla042 · Carla042

Greetings, I am no stranger to this program though lately I feel I am because I'm not workin it...I have two children active and one that I just allowed to move back with me after being out for almost a year, and boy I'm stuck n the coulda woulda shoulda.He called and said he was living in a van,its cold ,no f...

Melly1248 · Melly1248

Why do I always post in 2's lately? One to vent out what everyone else is doing wrong and then one to talk about me and vent some more...seems like. lol I'm so not on track right now. But I will be again. Saturday was a pretty hard day. It was the day I went with my daughter to buy her Christmas presents. She is g...

oldergal · oldergal

Just a reminder of the meaning of Codependent...it was helpful for me...just wanted to share....og Codependency is defined as a psychological condition or a relationship in which a person is controlled or manipulated by another who is affected with a pathological condition (typically narcissi...

mercedes1959 · mercedes1959

Hi everyone, I have to go to work today. I am going to do my best to attend the Monday morning meeting. For those of you who know me, please send me a PM. I am having some weird stuff going on with my son coming home from college. I really need some support today. Thanks Robinks

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

I opened my C2C this morning to read yesterdays reading but I first opened to August 31st. I think HP wanted me to read it today..... I have often tried to change other people to suit my own desires. I knew what I needed, and if those needs weren't met, the problem was with the other person. I was lookin...

Green Eyes · Green Eyes

So I was just informed by my AD's twin sister, that my AD does not want to accept my invitation to meet with me (and her twin sister) for dinner over the holidays. I guess that I shouldn't be surprised, but it still hurts so much. I still don't know what her issues are with me. If I did, it would be easier for me...

breamanic665 · breamanic665

I spent the weekend with my ABF after not seeing him or hearing from him for a week. He came over with flowers, shoveled out my extensive driveway, took me to dinner, movies, etc. Last night, we went to the market together, and got ingredients to make his fav meal. As I was cooking, he said he was going to ru...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	When are you prepared? (Preview) I've seen posts of people saying they were not prepared to leave abusive, alcoholic or just alcoholic partners. I wanted to add my personal experience without telling folks to ditch their partners. There is a difference between being ready or capable of doing what is necessary or feel you may want t...	pinkchip	31	671	Dec 23, 2013 by ClearTheFog
	Help!!!! (Preview) how or what do i do to find my last post??ive lost it and i been flipping through all the pages and nothing,i cant find nothing,need help please if anybody here knows how to tell me how to get to my posts.ty looking up	lookingup	3	312	Dec 23, 2013 by hotrod
	saddened (Preview) here I am back here shoulda and should stay here but I always allow life to get me off track.my a b/f is now renting a room from me we are just friends been working out though he works 7 days a week 12 hour days so that's ok too,he don't drink as much if any I can tell if he has drank anything I set my bounderies wit...	lookingup	3	411	Dec 23, 2013 by lookingup
	Sunday night meeting topics tonight are boundaries, letting go of martyrdom and taking care of ourselves during the hol (Preview) come join us	mercedes1959	2	246	Dec 23, 2013 by mercedes1959
	I'm Done... (Preview) That's what A said to me Thursday, plus some lather rinse repeat of the usual. I hung up, and haven't made any attempt to contact since. Yesterday I made a decision that this belongs to my HP to sort out now, not me. One thing I am struggling with is his mother invited us to Christmas with them, we have share...	mm830	8	501	Dec 23, 2013 by hotrod
	Scared, trying to make sure I'm in HP's will (Preview) I'm still going along with plans to find a rental. It's harder than I thought, mainly because of the dog but also because I need to find something that I think will 'fit' us. I'm not looking for anything fancy but just something practical and it's amazing how expensive some rentals are! I'm feeling di...	ilovedogs	8	455	Dec 23, 2013 by Breakingfree
	Triggers for the A in our life (Preview) I have started reading about what triggers an A to start drinking again once they have stopped for a period of time. Any insight on this? Thanks, Jenny	Jen61	9	421	Dec 23, 2013 by Breakingfree
	just for today I'm okay (Preview) Its been a long time since I've been on this site a lot has happened. My husband has been in full relapse mode for many months. At first it was a lot if lies and disappearances. Then one day he was so drunk he beat me. I stayed after that incident and I was very depressed I only left house to go to work. This past...	texasgal	9	557	Dec 23, 2013 by Breakingfree
	I found someone I can poor all my love into and actually fix..... (Preview) Myself! I now have a break off from school for one whole month and I am going to eat healthy and work out and just enjoy myself and my friends and life. There were not enough people to take a super accelerated class for the January term class I needed to stay in the nursing program next semester. I made peace...	Breakingfree	11	366	Dec 22, 2013 by Breakingfree
	Been awhile.. hello (Preview) HI all! I have not been on in a few weeks. My home computer is about shot and it is hard at work at times. Things have been going really well and to be honest, I start reading posts and some of the negative or sad posts get me down when I am feeling happy. I still love it here and it still helps me a lot just need a...	Iwantthingsback	7	395	Dec 22, 2013 by Melly1248
	serenity (Preview) Hi everyone, the topic at our meeting today was serenity. An old timer was sitting next to me as I shared about the first convention I attended Still very busy in my head still very very ill no serenity. I was rushing around and this old timer took hold of my hand and said very calmly, quietly, Tracy you kn...	Tracy	4	389	Dec 22, 2013 by Debilyn
	Trying to Help out Boyfriend with Alcoholic Mother (Preview) My boyfriend's single mother was an alcoholic for the first 20 years of his life. She eventually went to AA and became sober for 10 years and for the past couple of years, she has started drinking again. She told him that she started drinking again after my boyfriend in a way vented his frustrations wit...	brendastarr	6	309	Dec 22, 2013 by brendastarr
	MIP Al-Anon Group Meeting Chairpersons and Message Board Monitors Needed. (Preview) Hi Everyone! Our online Al-Anon group holds scheduled meetings every day of the week. 9am Monday - Friday 10am Saturday & Sunday 9pm Monday - Saturday 7pm Sunday. We have three chairperson slots open at this time. We would like to get these filled by currently active Al-Anon members with a mini...	John	1	498	Dec 22, 2013 by DavidG
	I have to fake it till I make it.. (Preview) I have prayed and surrendered to where I can't help my son. I have heard nothing as of right now. I know he knows to call me even collect to tell me that he is ok. I know there are churches or homeless shelters he can go to.. But I have to think of my family I have to take care of especially my 8 year old daughters t...	Gaby	7	550	Dec 21, 2013 by Jerry F
	Counting my blessings!! (Preview) Lots is right in my world these past couple of days. I am choosing to believe that because I kept myself calm and quiet (with the exception of whinging on here a bit) and reminded myself that "this too shall pass", my world has righted itself quickly and I have attracted some good karma. So I'l...	Melly1248	9	630	Dec 21, 2013 by DavidG
	Al-Anon has given me choices. (Preview) Hey everyone, My name is slogan_Jim and I am a grateful member of al-anon. My alcoholic father just called and said he wanted to take me out to dinner tonight. In theory that sounds great and should be a good time. He was sober and seems like he's been for a few days (he also called Thursday to say hi and was f...	slogan_jim	3	301	Dec 21, 2013 by hotrod
	24 years ago today.... (Preview) I surrendered to the process of recovery and started this amazing journey. Thank you for trudging the road of happy destiny with me. John	John	10	484	Dec 21, 2013 by Hoot Nanny
	I have heard nothing and the guilt is in me.. (Preview) My son has not gone back to the ranch.. Pastor now says he is not allowed back on the ranch. That he has consequences to deal with. He is out in a different state and I feel guilty. I am a mess. Yes I do attend ala-non meetings. I need to find me a new Sponser.. I have a lot of family and friends support.. But this...	Gaby	12	519	Dec 21, 2013 by oldergal
	A lengthy update (Preview) Hi everyone! I have tried to write an update for days and I can't ever find enough time to do much. Working full time with 2 small children and taking are of life by myself has me running ragged! I continue to read and learn all of the information I can about codependency, being a wife of an alcoholic, and...	HisMrsWright	6	413	Dec 21, 2013 by slogan_jim
	feeling frustrated and sad (Preview) Okay, So I was expecting to hang out with my husband tonight. He has had a very busy day today. He has been getting a couple of guys to do some work on our house?clean up the yard, fix some things. He also got them to go pick up a piano he bought for me at a thrift store. A super sweet gesture, really nice piano, $...	sadsusie	7	578	Dec 21, 2013 by sadsusie
	Some News (Preview) I was surprised to get an email from my son today after weeks of silence. He wrote that he's still living in the rooming house and desperately needs to move out as guys are overdosing on heroin and smoking crack. He says he's looking for work - he will take just about anything at this point. As a last resort...	Rose50	8	483	Dec 21, 2013 by tiredtonite
	boundaries w son (Preview) Hi Everyone: It's been a while since I've posted but have gained so much ESH from reading all of your shares. I am upset tonight and having trouble getting past it. My oldest son (19) lives at home and is going to college locally. Mostly I love this. Tonight he asked to have some friends over. I said y...	yanksfan51	7	510	Dec 21, 2013 by bud
	Oh my!!! He called about visiting me (Preview) I wasn't gonna post this, but reconsidered bc some new folks might get a benefit from this bc I want to show just how MUCH this programme has worked for me...AND journalling out my "stuff" helps me move on as well.....I spoke w/my sponsor about this and she was like "OMG, you would in th...	neshema2	7	442	Dec 21, 2013 by Raven Juniper
	He is gone again!!! (Preview) My son woke up and walked off the ranch this morning.. He maybe out there in the cold.. Hungry .. And looking for his next fix. He is 4 hours away from me.. I can't live like this no more.. I can't save him .. I'm not god.. But I'm scared for him. I'm sick to my stomach and truly trying to realize that I can't help...	Gaby	15	574	Dec 21, 2013 by Melly1248
	"No" (Preview) Aloha family..."No" is a complete sentence right? This time acting it out is better than verbalizing it because it was my Grand Daughter who I love to pieces who told me or was she asking hmmmm "you have to talk to dad (my eldest son who has relapsed)". Loving her permits me to...	Jerry F	13	895	Dec 21, 2013 by el-cee
	My share on last nights meeting topics (expectations, Letting go of resentment, and acceptance) (Preview) I have been asked a few times if someone could have a copy of what I said in the meeting last night. I decided I would post it here, share it with everyone, and from here it can be copied by those who want to keep it for later reading. the topics were expectations, letting go of resentments, and acceptance...	John	14	617	Dec 20, 2013 by mm830
	Today.. (Preview) I put in a face to face meeting last night. I clearly understand that I have to take it minute by minute. I clearly understand that I have no control of my son choices. He and I are 4 hours away and I can not rescue him because not only am I killing him but I'm killing me.. I wake up this morning with prayer. I am h...	Gaby	5	510	Dec 20, 2013 by Mimi3
	I need some esh..?? (Preview) Most of you know my situation with my A son.. He is 4 hours away because he said he does not want to live the way he has been living. He asked for the help. I provided it again. Today I get a phone from the recovery ranch and said my son walked off the ranch. This was 4 pm. I about fainted. Mind you he is out in no whe...	Gaby	4	355	Dec 20, 2013 by Cathyinaz
	I'd say fast update .. (Preview) So never the case .. LOL .. . (Any references I make that seem offensive in terms of God or He .. .. this is the God of MY understanding, please feel free to insert the God of YOUR understanding into those statements as a whole I think they are universally true.) First off, big hugs to everyone who is strug...	SerenityRUS	5	391	Dec 20, 2013 by SerenityRUS
	What's under the slogans can be the same and feel the same... (Preview) One thing that's going on with me is that I'm realizing I'm still just as manipulative as always - I just know how to hide it under recovery slogans - sayings - and ideas. The things that I've 'learned' I'm just now using to still get what I want from people - and try to make them what I want them. What I have...	Tasha	4	404	Dec 20, 2013 by PP
	I'm feeling relieved but upset (Preview) Good Morning my MIP family My X moved my son out yesterday and now is preparing for the arrival of him to his home. I asked my X if he needed the blow up bed for him and he said NO.....he will have a real bed in my home! OK I said. I'm relieved my son won't be homeless for Christmas but I'm upset that he will have...	Cathyinaz	11	629	Dec 20, 2013 by milkwood
	Don't know if this is good or bad lol. (Preview) Tomorrow, daughter has her "end of year" party. I know, she just had a halloween party but the whole concept of "opening up our house" and actually inviting people over is sort of a symbolic step for me; I'm not going to hide in my home in shame and not let anyone in, nor let my daught...	Melly1248	8	612	Dec 19, 2013 by grateful2be
	Being let down (Preview) Trying really hard to keep to my side of the road. Had a good talk with AH Sunday, he told me he understood why I would be upset and he promises again to be more attentive to me, the kids and actively be there with us. He would quit choosing alcohol over us, spending time with friends over us. I reminded him Mo...	Hope2000	5	559	Dec 19, 2013 by Jen61
	Update on my son... (Preview) So my son was MIA as most of you knew. Our neighbors found him out of gas in his car on the side of the freeway. Well my intentions was to take the car away which that did happen. My son came home and got his last fixed and asked to head back to recovery. He looked like death.. My husband said and agreed let's do t...	Gaby	6	467	Dec 19, 2013 by Debilyn
	She Crushed Me (Preview) This is my first post. I am so heartbroken. I have been dating and living with an alcoholic for the past 2.5 years. I never knew it would be so hard. I was ignorant to what it was like. The lies, the sneaking, the ruined holidays and dates. It was a mess. Lots of mistrust. I have 2 kids from a previous marriage...	PatrickSean	10	522	Dec 19, 2013 by slogan_jim
	Not sure what to do or think (Preview) Hi Everyone, I haven't been here in a very long time. In the past I did have a husband who was an a. I divorced him after 1-1/2 years of marriage as I couldn't handle his addiction and I was much happier alone. He died several years later and as cold as this may sound, I was happy I wasn't there for those fin...	ditto	8	450	Dec 19, 2013 by Jerry F
	Fighting the overwhelming urge to engage in arguments with my ex A husband (Preview) It's been a while since I've posted or been to a f2f meeting. My ex A left over a year ago and moved 1400 miles away. He left me with no money, a house in foreclosure, a car that didn't run, bank account overdrawn, three kids at home and I was sick with lupus and on weekly injections of a chemotherapy medicat...	TryingToChange	5	372	Dec 19, 2013 by TryingToChange
	Not sure how to deal with a co worker (Preview) HI i am new here. I am having some trouble keeping the focus on myself and hope to get some insight. I work at a job that has a union. Recently i was working with the president of my local. He asked me to do some work with him and I was paid. My problem is that the way he works with me feels very uncomfortabl...	Nellybelly	3	432	Dec 19, 2013 by neshema2
	Getting results from my addict son while I work on me…. (Preview) We've been dealing with our addict son for more years than I'd like to admit. Finally about 2 years ago we got serious about trying to stop the craziness. His dad and I told him he could no longer live in our home and off he went. Motels, couches, OD's, psych wards, rehab, sober living, then room rentin...	heythere	5	379	Dec 19, 2013 by Cathyinaz
	I have no guilt no matter what my X says (Preview) Hi Everyone Had quite a morning. My son is in the hospital and then will be transferred to I'm guessing a mental facility. He tried to do himself in......because I told my son too many things that hurt him so bad he couldn't take it anymore. The apartment complex found him half inside and outside of...	Cathyinaz	28	1423	Dec 19, 2013 by pinkchip
	Feeling like a big fake! Need ESH!!! (Preview) I truly feel my confindence sucking out of me and leaving me feeling completely inadequate yet again like when I lived with my A mother or husband and thought there was no better, I deserved no better. I have been on such a high since leaving my exAh 3 years ago and gaining self esteem and feeling worthy l...	Breakingfree	17	619	Dec 19, 2013 by hotrod
	Trying to Help out Boyfriend with Alcoholic Mother (Preview) My boyfriend's single mother was an alcoholic for the first 20 years of his life. She eventually went to AA and became sober for 10 years and for the past couple of years, she has started drinking again. She told him that she started drinking again after my boyfriend in a way vented his frustrations wit...	brendastarr	2	333	Dec 18, 2013 by Debilyn
	coping with lies (Preview) Last night my A was trying to pull a fast one. With roads turning to ice, my A announced she had to go "shopping" to pick up a prescription she doesn't need right now. I recognize this BS to mean she either needs to drink, eat, or gamble, so much so that she is willing to risk her life to take care...	Lyne	2	550	Dec 18, 2013 by Debilyn
	did I take advantage of him? (Preview) Did I take advantage of him or did he just love me more than I deserved? I mean did my dad in the last stages of his life spend too much time enabling me? I know that he loved me but because of my illness could he have done it differently? I know that now is probably the wrong time to bring this up but I read a post j...	Hoot Nanny	3	494	Dec 18, 2013 by Mari1978
	when anger and guilt having a battle... (Preview) Do you get this sometimes? this confusion, when you think about the merry-go-round, when the fighting is over, when you stepped out or were forced due to circumstances to walk away? Sometimes I think, wow, how crazy we both were. then I think, how crazy he was for accusing me of things that are not me. T...	tortuga	6	415	Dec 18, 2013 by Mari1978
	Higher Power speaking here. (Preview) Sometimes I try to connect with my higher power through reading my alanon books or looking at nature and appreciating it and sometimes through the happenings in my day to day life. Recently, I have felt like this forum is my connection too. I always seem to read something I need and I feel like the people...	el-cee	7	300	Dec 18, 2013 by ClearTheFog
	Life Lesson (Preview) This is a quote that was sent to me. It is so true and such a good reminder to all of us who have been involved with an addict.I'm an addict. And this is what addicts do. You cannot and will not change my behavior. You cannot make me treat you better, let alone with any respect. All I care about, all I think...	wifeofalcoholic	5	312	Dec 18, 2013 by SerenityRUS
	Seeking guidance and a sanity check - how to respond, if at all ?? (Preview) I received another one of those "my life is crumbling around me" texts yesterday from my son, a 28-year old "dry drunk" addict - no crystal meth use for almost 8 years now, but he does use alcohol and some grass, and of course he doesn't go to meetings and he doesn't work a program. ...	texas yankee	13	566	Dec 18, 2013 by texas yankee
	Failed my exam this morning (Preview) I am beside myself and just thought I could pull it off, but it was not going to happen. I need to decide by Friday if I want to try to take this class over accelerated in January or wait and take it slower next semester and give up my seat with my class now. STRESS!!!!	Breakingfree	11	501	Dec 18, 2013 by tortuga
	These Kids of ours!! (Preview) Sometimes I get angry when I think of the pain and suffering these children of ours cause us, but whats the use of that? They are oblivious, totally ignorant of the horrible feeling in the stomach, sleepless nights, fear and worry. They don't have a clue. They may listen if you try to tell them but they do...	el-cee	5	326	Dec 17, 2013 by Rose50
	My son was found. (Preview) Our neighbors husband found my son on the side of the freeway in his car out of gas. They called me and that was my opportunity to take the car. And I did just that.. My son would have now been left with nothing other then the streets and some way some how he figured I'll get my last high an do the rehab again. So...	Gaby	10	567	Dec 17, 2013 by Rose50
	A Letter to my AD (Preview) I just rediscovered this entry in my journal and wanted to share it with other parents who are hurting right now, like me. It's from the Al-Anon Forum: My dear daughter, You asked me to write a letter stating the impact your addiction to alcohol has had on me. Ive given a great deal of thought to th...	Green Eyes	5	340	Dec 17, 2013 by Rose50
	resentment, help. crazymaking…. (Preview) Im so angry and resentful. The deep seated kind of anger. Does anyone have any suggestions of how to deal with that? It is coming from the fact that my alcoholic boyfriend is playing crazy-making games with me. IE: treating me badly and then when I have boundaries and don't want to spend time with him b...	giraffe13	10	528	Dec 17, 2013 by PP
	Crawling back.... (Preview) Greetings, I am no stranger to this program though lately I feel I am because I'm not workin it...I have two children active and one that I just allowed to move back with me after being out for almost a year, and boy I'm stuck n the coulda woulda shoulda.He called and said he was living in a van,its cold ,no f...	Carla042	12	466	Dec 17, 2013 by grateful2be
	Random pointless babble. (Preview) Why do I always post in 2's lately? One to vent out what everyone else is doing wrong and then one to talk about me and vent some more...seems like. lol I'm so not on track right now. But I will be again. Saturday was a pretty hard day. It was the day I went with my daughter to buy her Christmas presents. She is g...	Melly1248	19	544	Dec 17, 2013 by grateful2be
	Some of us in Alanon are also Codependent... (Preview) Just a reminder of the meaning of Codependent...it was helpful for me...just wanted to share....og Codependency is defined as a psychological condition or a relationship in which a person is controlled or manipulated by another who is affected with a pathological condition (typically narcissi...	oldergal	5	381	Dec 17, 2013 by neshema2
	Having trouble with my son (Preview) Hi everyone, I have to go to work today. I am going to do my best to attend the Monday morning meeting. For those of you who know me, please send me a PM. I am having some weird stuff going on with my son coming home from college. I really need some support today. Thanks Robinks	mercedes1959	7	404	Dec 17, 2013 by grateful2be
	C2C (Preview) I opened my C2C this morning to read yesterdays reading but I first opened to August 31st. I think HP wanted me to read it today..... I have often tried to change other people to suit my own desires. I knew what I needed, and if those needs weren't met, the problem was with the other person. I was lookin...	Cathyinaz	5	382	Dec 17, 2013 by el-cee
	AD Doesn't Want to Meet with Me Over the Holidays (Preview) So I was just informed by my AD's twin sister, that my AD does not want to accept my invitation to meet with me (and her twin sister) for dinner over the holidays. I guess that I shouldn't be surprised, but it still hurts so much. I still don't know what her issues are with me. If I did, it would be easier for me...	Green Eyes	9	461	Dec 17, 2013 by mercedes1959
	The EGO and being called JUDGEMENTAL - ANY TAKERS? (Preview) I spent the weekend with my ABF after not seeing him or hearing from him for a week. He came over with flowers, shoveled out my extensive driveway, took me to dinner, movies, etc. Last night, we went to the market together, and got ingredients to make his fav meal. As I was cooking, he said he was going to ru...	breamanic665	9	2726	Dec 17, 2013 by abbyal
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.