Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

wifeofalcoholic · wifeofalcoholic

It has been years that I have had an AH. He goes to meetings regularly and still relapses consistently. Just when I think he has sobriety like some of the AA members have had for many years, he is drinking again. I feel our marriage is being undermined steadily. After each bout, I usually feel depres...

Thoughtanya · Thoughtanya

I just typed a long long long email to my husband who drove home drunk again last night... The long email was beautifully written, with love... But it was about what I call boundaries... I sent it to him or I thought idid... Then I looked in my sent mail to re- read it... Not there!!!! Ahhhhh do you think thi...

Mari1978 · Mari1978

I would like to thank all those who have shared experiences on what we can do to be supportive. My 7 year old is ever challenging and her genetics scream her father quite often. After a difficult day and feeling exhausted and a little weak I dialed her bio dads number. I didn't know why I bothered I didn...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

I had a great therapy appointment today and I really needed it and something that he said that really struck me was about anxiety and what part it plays in terms of for me why I had basically what he classified as a mini panic attack recently that really really threw me .. I am really not used to feeling thi...

bluedawn · bluedawn

I am new. I am seeking help. I am not sure I am on even in the right place or how to do this.

el-cee · el-cee

I tried to ask a question about this but it is a closed topic. I dont know anything about copyright or the risks to this site so I think its important to have clarification on it. As far as I know we are ok to post small extracts, not full pages, as long as we state where it came from. Is this correct? Alanon all...

Onlyhope · Onlyhope

Today it's been ten weeks since I've spoken to my daughter and her husband who are my current active A's in my life. I was heartbroken 12 weeks ago when I found out that my daughter had become an active alcoholic along with her husband. We went through years of her in recovery from drugs as a young teenage...

onestep33 · onestep33

Hi all, I've been lurking for awhile since my AH went to rehab after stealing thousands of dollars from his parents because of his addiction to drugs and alcohol. He had a spiritual awakening at rehab and is home now and seems to be doing well. He is attending meetings once or twice a day, working with h...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

So I know I'm not suppose to focus on my stbax .. however .. LOL .. that being said .. this was something else that came up in therapy the other day .. There is some BIG dejvu happening right now .. 2 1/2 years he's back at his mothers for the 3rd time 5th move during this time. So pretty much he's in the exact sa...

abba31 · abba31

I want to try and start taking my 17 year old and going to some meetings...however i have 2 smaller boys that cannot be left at home.

Hot Chicka · Hot Chicka

I was at a family type event yesterday.... AH had originally planned to be there, until he decided that the cure for his hangover was more beer. At the family event, a friend says, "Where is Brad today?" (Not really his name....) The thought that ran through my head was, "He's cur...

Beatrice · Beatrice

" You drown not by falling into a river, but by staying submerged in it." Coehlo

oldergal · oldergal

A New Kind of DoingThursday, May 22, 2014 In the second half of life, we do not have strong and final opinions about everything, every event, or most people, as much as we allow things and people to delight us, sadden us, and truly influence us. We no longer need to change or adjust other people to be happ...

el-cee · el-cee

A member shared tonight on unacceptable behaviour and it got me thinking. When you read the CAL there are a lot of readings on unacceptable behaviour. There are plenty on the A's unacceptable behaviour but there are also many readings on our own unacceptable behaviour. One reading talks about how we...

Beatrice · Beatrice

"Love can consign us to hell or to paradise, but it always takes us somewhere." Coehlo

Slugcat · Slugcat

So I rang and hes mad so i said i dont want to talk to you when you are drunk so later he rings me back and is all emotional and misses me etc but he says "he doesnt want to sound clingy" but hes drunk. and i wanted to scream get lost i dont want to talk you while u are drunk i put up with the conversat...

Newlife girl · Newlife girl

I am so confused. I will try to make this short. my AH is trying to convince me has changed just in the last few months I have moved out. I actually see him doing new things like cleaning up a lot of JUNK surrounding our house. For that, I give him credit. What hurts is the fact that he wouldn't do any cleanup w...

deacon · deacon

and then, almost every time you go away for a few hours, gets into the alcohol, what does that really say about your relationship. I am just so emotionally tired of coming home and finding him trying ever so hard to hide that he has been drinking. I suspect that his age is now really against him and he can't...

SunshineGirl · SunshineGirl

Hello all I am feeling very grateful to my program. One thing I learnt quite some time ago that has helped me enormously is that everything my AH does/says can be treated as an 'invitation' not a given. Meaning I can chose to accept the invitation to his fight, pity party, insanity, buy into lies, etc...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

My AH tried apologizing to me last night. I heard lots of excuses, a bit of blaming (even though he would follow it up with: that's my issue), and a lot of alternate reality talk. What I'm trying to remember is that he made an effort. What bothers me today is that I didn't care. I was more frustrated tha...

1lostmom · 1lostmom

I consider myself a good wife. I work full time, I do all the driving for my daughter to and from daycare, I make dinners when I am home first, and I grocery shop. On the weekends, I do a load or two of laundry so my husband, daughter and I have clean clothes for the week. I do ALL of the dishes in my house. My...

hotrod · hotrod

Learn How The Twelve Steps Work.Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by being active on this board as we go through the 12 Steps of recovery together!http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t57634504/alanon-step-7/

mm830 · mm830

i can't take credit for this one but it's got me thinking quite a bit. In yoga tonight the instructor told us there are two things, the story, and the truth. The story consists of all the dramatic details, i.e. the A drank a whole bottle of vodka then took off in his car and called and verbally attacked me an...

Kerrymom · Kerrymom

Growing up my older sister was always demanding attention, she's adopted and don't know if it's attachment disorder or something in her genes, but everything is always about her, even now when she has 3 wonderful kids, her problems are more important, if I was trying to talk to our mom she would either...

Jill · Jill

You consistently keep this site safe. I appreciate all the time and dedication you have.

Truth · Truth

He is not sick. He is not a victim. He is a twisted individual. I am not crazy. It is not my fault. I have power. He is not healthy. He is not a positive role model. A positive role model does not do what this man does.

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

I kind of had an A-HA moment in terms of realizing that there is a good probability my STBAX will never be close to being the same man I married .. I don't think he was ok then .. however the progressiveness of the disease is unreal. I don't know why this struck me so hard last night. I consider myself fairl...

Gaby · Gaby

I'm a bit sad mad hurt confused!!! My son sent me a message yesterday that they let him go from work on Friday. I was not surprised. This disease or I should say his poor choices will take everything away from him. This message was about noon. Then I get a message in the late PM and he said mom my phones about t...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

Im having the tough time excepting my son and his denials and non-truths. He cant tell me anything without exaggerating it to the max or lying about it. I asked him yesterday if he had talked to his dad and he said no. I know for a fact he did. When I was quite about it, he then said. oh I think I talked to hi...

KennyFenderjazz · KennyFenderjazz

I was waiting for the wife outside her meeting last night. She came up and introduced me to a couple that were at her meeting the first time. The guy was an A, hadn't been to AA for 30 years, hadn't drank in thAT time, but HAD recently relapsed. his wife went to the meeting because it was open, but my wife r...

Frustrated Daughter · Frustrated Daughter

Today casually texting with my mother turned bad when I realized she was in fact drunk at 2 in the afternoon and had started a text rant about members of our extended family. My cousin expressed a couple years ago that my mother thinks she's better than the rest of the family. The thing I don't understand...

Truth · Truth

So at our mediation session my ex-a tried to label me as judge and jury. I never once said the word good or bad, (he did) however I stuck to behaviors. He also told me I was bi-polar. Today I am having a hard time not letting his comments sink in. I know I need rest.

Fifi · Fifi

These days the little things show me how much work I have to do for myself and for healing my disease. Example. It is night time and I go to bed early with a migraine. When sober BF comes to bed, I wake up. I feel upset and "wronged" because "he woke me up". I still have my migraine and I...

Hot Chicka · Hot Chicka

My older son is noticing more and more when AH is drinking. Most of the drinking is done after the kids go to bed, but lately he's been spending more and more weekends drinking all weekend. My son says.... "He acts so weird." "He talks so funny." "He smells so bad."...

Lyne · Lyne

When I came to alanon, I already had a relationship with HP. I'd had a "religious" experience 20+ yrs ago and went from agnostic to believer. So to incorporate HP into my recovery was not a struggle. My A on the other hand told me today that she is looking for her HP. I said "good."...

Newlife girl · Newlife girl

My AH still doesn't have a job. We aren't living together so he thinks I shouldn't be asking him about his plans on getting a job. He finds my questioning offensive. When I express my concern about this subject, he tells me I am selfish. when I get upset i read CAL. I opened up the book "opening our hea...

PP · PP

ssilver · ssilver

Hi. I visit this board often, but only post occasionally. I'm almost 5 months in Alanon, with f2f meetings and a sponsor. I am truly grateful for the support of the program and mostly the beautiful people who help each other. While I've made significant progress, I think, I still grapple daily with my d...

lookingup · lookingup

Is there such thing as internet innocence ?between a married woman and A single man that has a steady g/f that he lives with??or am I just jumping to conclusions and being mean????thats what I'm feeling from all that .and now they both are off the internet and have each other's cell phones but he says the...

Gaby · Gaby

Today I got a message from my son saying : many prayers needed. I responded : I will always have you in prayers and giving you to god is healthy for me as well as yourself. I know my son is going through a lot but I can't do nothing for him that he can not do for himself. I have turned him over to god. I have so much f...

sadsusie · sadsusie

Thank you PP for such a simple yet thought provoking challenge! PP kept asking me if I was still "sad" susie. I didn't think much of it the first few times, but I did today. I can think of a million other things that describe my present journey as well as what I HOPE for my journey to look like. Th...

sadsusie · sadsusie

I have really struggled over the last 10+ years. My AH has been very controlling and demeaning. I had felt worthless, and was subtly encouraged to stay in my "safe" shell of a home, and I had no friends. Really, NO friends. I had lots of acquaintances, but no phone numbers saved to my phone. An...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

I was thinking a lot about this today for some reason at what point did I stop listening to my intuition regarding my stbax. Really any romantic relationship .. I really have picked emotionally unavailable people .. pretty much because I'm emotionally unavailable. I have never had a model of what a...

Newlife girl · Newlife girl

I really needed a new car. I researched a lot about the car I was looking at. I went to 2 dealerships. One that was close to me told me my credit was too bad to get an interest rate lower than 20% and my payment would be $400-500 a month. He told me this without even trying to get me a loan. I received a call from an...

Truth · Truth

My son is visiting with his father today and what we mediated yesterday he is already deciding that he is not following. Today I cannot do anything about it but pray because it is not filed with court yet. I am ready to move on. This man has shown me who he is and I believe him. I am actually thankful for the ex...

Beatrice · Beatrice

"Life is too short, or too long, for me to allow myself the luxury of living it badly." Paulo Coehlo

lookingup · lookingup

My a bf has been talking to a old childhood school friend for mths,everyday sometimes several times a day.and then they started texting and exchanged phone no.and my a bf still wants to say it was all innocent .but he is trying to come off suboxones and he has been ill and can't sleep.im trying to keep my c...

Holly09 · Holly09

I haven't been here in a long time during that time we have had our ups and downs but nothing really serious. My A fiance quit drinking almost 4 years ago doesn't go to meetings but overall does well, except with me. He has depression and has been on meds. for the same amount of time which seem to help some...

astallaslions · astallaslions

We went out for a congratulatory: 'I got into school' dinner, knowing he'd been drinking. I knew the fun night would slowly shift into his usual woe-is-me the world is out to get us, antics, but I was hoping for something that wasn't going to happen. I knew my expectations were unreasonable. I could fee...

NavySealWife · NavySealWife

I'm so angry out of my mind, my husband has been sober for two months. But he seems to think that just because he is sober he can be very irresponsible when it comes to do what is priority in the house like make sure we have money to pay bills, pay for gas, eat etc. So, he begged me to go with him to local casino ne...

Theoceancalls · Theoceancalls

sooooo tonight my ah went to a friend of mines house with me, to hang. he had had a few before we left. which ticked me off, . .those at the gathering all drink , but when im there on my own its just relaxed and laid back.i had a glass of wine. as the night went on, he drank more, talked more and finally i managed t...

sharonnpr · sharonnpr

This is the first time i have ever been on a sight talking about my daughter. She is 23 and i am so scared for her. She has been an addict for what seems like so long now. I feel like i am watching her slowly kill herself. She has seen so many of her friends die from their addictions. I worry everyday that i am goi...

sunshine23 · sunshine23

After reflecting on "we are powerless", I think to some extend, everyone has the misconception that they are in control or can effect a change in someone else. Except that with an A in our lives, the door slammed hard on our face. It is living with an A that causes our control mentality to wors...

lookingup · lookingup

My a bf came and helped me go get a shelf that I bought ,and he brought it to my house and while he was here he ate the spaghetti I made ,and then he jumped up and walked outside in a bold way we had words about this internet woman he had been talking to for 5mths and it got really ugly,then I went to get me 1of my 2mg...

Melly1248 · Melly1248

I received a gift from A the other night. The first, ever. It is a coffee machine that I have been quite vocally wishing for for a long time. I'm awfully fussy about my coffee. So that was a surprise. I decided not to question his motives, and to stop second guessing my own (should I accept it, does that mean...

Debilyn · Debilyn

I am thinking a lot about this as is my son. He has been cheated on so many times, then the last, looked like he found the one, someone he knew a long time, just out of nowhere left. huh? I have been widowed twice. Then had a very very serious long long term friendship that he told me he loved me and wanted more....

lookingup · lookingup

I was at my neighbors house and had left my purse in her house and stepped outside with my neighbor and my purse was left unattended inside neighbors house with her drug addict son who just got out of prison,but I'm not gonna even mention it to my neighbor she is Old and tired.im feeling a bit bad for accusi...

el-cee · el-cee

Im really interested in the steps at the moment and Im quite new to them. I can see my shortcomings clearly these days, thankfully. Im not in denial of my own issues and i am willing to deal with them. I want to work through them in a healthy way. I know il never be perfect, i dont think that would be a good thin...

Lyne · Lyne

Today was hard. My mother is 91 and has dementia. Her live-in friend/part-time caregiver is an active alcohol. We have paid care-givers coming in daily for several hours. The A just can't go with the program. I can't expect him to. I am powerless over his illlness and his behavior. But the care...

lookingup · lookingup

This all seems weird but my a/bf is be haveing like he or she has done nothing wrong,ha.he put all his stuff in the other bedroom and he told me earlier that we was even now,I don't know what he is talking about except that he is trying to mask his guilt ,I can't go any loger with him I'm ready for him to leave bu...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	What do I do with anger? (Preview) It has been years that I have had an AH. He goes to meetings regularly and still relapses consistently. Just when I think he has sobriety like some of the AA members have had for many years, he is drinking again. I feel our marriage is being undermined steadily. After each bout, I usually feel depres...	wifeofalcoholic	8	749	May 24, 2014 by 1lostmom
	Question regarding boundaries (Preview) I just typed a long long long email to my husband who drove home drunk again last night... The long email was beautifully written, with love... But it was about what I call boundaries... I sent it to him or I thought idid... Then I looked in my sent mail to re- read it... Not there!!!! Ahhhhh do you think thi...	Thoughtanya	6	582	May 23, 2014 by Jerry F
	Handy tools (Preview) I would like to thank all those who have shared experiences on what we can do to be supportive. My 7 year old is ever challenging and her genetics scream her father quite often. After a difficult day and feeling exhausted and a little weak I dialed her bio dads number. I didn't know why I bothered I didn...	Mari1978	4	472	May 23, 2014 by Jerry F
	A new way to look at anxiety .. (Preview) I had a great therapy appointment today and I really needed it and something that he said that really struck me was about anxiety and what part it plays in terms of for me why I had basically what he classified as a mini panic attack recently that really really threw me .. I am really not used to feeling thi...	SerenityRUS	7	523	May 23, 2014 by hotrod
	asking for help (Preview) I am new. I am seeking help. I am not sure I am on even in the right place or how to do this.	bluedawn	15	667	May 23, 2014 by Beatrice
	question on copyright material (Preview) I tried to ask a question about this but it is a closed topic. I dont know anything about copyright or the risks to this site so I think its important to have clarification on it. As far as I know we are ok to post small extracts, not full pages, as long as we state where it came from. Is this correct? Alanon all...	el-cee	3	413	May 23, 2014 by grateful2be
	Trying to Not be Sad.... (Preview) Today it's been ten weeks since I've spoken to my daughter and her husband who are my current active A's in my life. I was heartbroken 12 weeks ago when I found out that my daughter had become an active alcoholic along with her husband. We went through years of her in recovery from drugs as a young teenage...	Onlyhope	4	381	May 23, 2014 by Onlyhope
	Trusting again? (Preview) Hi all, I've been lurking for awhile since my AH went to rehab after stealing thousands of dollars from his parents because of his addiction to drugs and alcohol. He had a spiritual awakening at rehab and is home now and seems to be doing well. He is attending meetings once or twice a day, working with h...	onestep33	8	558	May 23, 2014 by Debilyn
	Ok .. Dejvu .. (Preview) So I know I'm not suppose to focus on my stbax .. however .. LOL .. that being said .. this was something else that came up in therapy the other day .. There is some BIG dejvu happening right now .. 2 1/2 years he's back at his mothers for the 3rd time 5th move during this time. So pretty much he's in the exact sa...	SerenityRUS	4	574	May 23, 2014 by SerenityRUS
	can you take children to alanon meetings (Preview) I want to try and start taking my 17 year old and going to some meetings...however i have 2 smaller boys that cannot be left at home.	abba31	6	1178	May 23, 2014 by Debilyn
	"What's your husband up to today?" (Preview) I was at a family type event yesterday.... AH had originally planned to be there, until he decided that the cure for his hangover was more beer. At the family event, a friend says, "Where is Brad today?" (Not really his name....) The thought that ran through my head was, "He's cur...	Hot Chicka	10	524	May 22, 2014 by giraffe13
	helpful thoughts (Preview) " You drown not by falling into a river, but by staying submerged in it." Coehlo	Beatrice	5	364	May 22, 2014 by grateful2be
	Second Half of Life (Preview) A New Kind of DoingThursday, May 22, 2014 In the second half of life, we do not have strong and final opinions about everything, every event, or most people, as much as we allow things and people to delight us, sadden us, and truly influence us. We no longer need to change or adjust other people to be happ...	oldergal	6	452	May 22, 2014 by Breakingfree
	Our own unacceptable behaviour (Preview) A member shared tonight on unacceptable behaviour and it got me thinking. When you read the CAL there are a lot of readings on unacceptable behaviour. There are plenty on the A's unacceptable behaviour but there are also many readings on our own unacceptable behaviour. One reading talks about how we...	el-cee	16	1040	May 22, 2014 by Breakingfree
	thoughts (Preview) "Love can consign us to hell or to paradise, but it always takes us somewhere." Coehlo	Beatrice	1	395	May 22, 2014 by hotrod
	hanging up on drunk people (Preview) So I rang and hes mad so i said i dont want to talk to you when you are drunk so later he rings me back and is all emotional and misses me etc but he says "he doesnt want to sound clingy" but hes drunk. and i wanted to scream get lost i dont want to talk you while u are drunk i put up with the conversat...	Slugcat	9	620	May 22, 2014 by KennyFenderjazz
	Really need feedback from members with ESH. Help! (Preview) I am so confused. I will try to make this short. my AH is trying to convince me has changed just in the last few months I have moved out. I actually see him doing new things like cleaning up a lot of JUNK surrounding our house. For that, I give him credit. What hurts is the fact that he wouldn't do any cleanup w...	Newlife girl	18	647	May 22, 2014 by SunshineGirl
	If someone professes to love you (Preview) and then, almost every time you go away for a few hours, gets into the alcohol, what does that really say about your relationship. I am just so emotionally tired of coming home and finding him trying ever so hard to hide that he has been drinking. I suspect that his age is now really against him and he can't...	deacon	6	907	May 22, 2014 by Beatrice
	Invitations! (Preview) Hello all I am feeling very grateful to my program. One thing I learnt quite some time ago that has helped me enormously is that everything my AH does/says can be treated as an 'invitation' not a given. Meaning I can chose to accept the invitation to his fight, pity party, insanity, buy into lies, etc...	SunshineGirl	10	586	May 22, 2014 by SunshineGirl
	Apologies from the AH (Preview) My AH tried apologizing to me last night. I heard lots of excuses, a bit of blaming (even though he would follow it up with: that's my issue), and a lot of alternate reality talk. What I'm trying to remember is that he made an effort. What bothers me today is that I didn't care. I was more frustrated tha...	ilovedogs	21	623	May 22, 2014 by milkwood
	Resentment (Preview) I consider myself a good wife. I work full time, I do all the driving for my daughter to and from daycare, I make dinners when I am home first, and I grocery shop. On the weekends, I do a load or two of laundry so my husband, daughter and I have clean clothes for the week. I do ALL of the dishes in my house. My...	1lostmom	8	568	May 21, 2014 by Debilyn
	Step 7 (Preview) Learn How The Twelve Steps Work.Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by being active on this board as we go through the 12 Steps of recovery together!http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t57634504/alanon-step-7/	hotrod	2	570	May 21, 2014 by hotrod
	The Story and the Truth (Preview) i can't take credit for this one but it's got me thinking quite a bit. In yoga tonight the instructor told us there are two things, the story, and the truth. The story consists of all the dramatic details, i.e. the A drank a whole bottle of vodka then took off in his car and called and verbally attacked me an...	mm830	10	752	May 21, 2014 by Debilyn
	My problems do matter (Preview) Growing up my older sister was always demanding attention, she's adopted and don't know if it's attachment disorder or something in her genes, but everything is always about her, even now when she has 3 wonderful kids, her problems are more important, if I was trying to talk to our mom she would either...	Kerrymom	11	498	May 21, 2014 by Kerrymom
	Thank you to our moderators (Preview) You consistently keep this site safe. I appreciate all the time and dedication you have.	Jill	6	480	May 21, 2014 by WorkingThroughIt
	He is an abuser (Preview) He is not sick. He is not a victim. He is a twisted individual. I am not crazy. It is not my fault. I have power. He is not healthy. He is not a positive role model. A positive role model does not do what this man does.	Truth	29	668	May 21, 2014 by Jerry F
	The Brain Damage . . (Preview) I kind of had an A-HA moment in terms of realizing that there is a good probability my STBAX will never be close to being the same man I married .. I don't think he was ok then .. however the progressiveness of the disease is unreal. I don't know why this struck me so hard last night. I consider myself fairl...	SerenityRUS	10	672	May 21, 2014 by pinkchip
	Update: ;( (Preview) I'm a bit sad mad hurt confused!!! My son sent me a message yesterday that they let him go from work on Friday. I was not surprised. This disease or I should say his poor choices will take everything away from him. This message was about noon. Then I get a message in the late PM and he said mom my phones about t...	Gaby	8	640	May 21, 2014 by Breakingfree
	Continue to let it go and go with the flow (Preview) Im having the tough time excepting my son and his denials and non-truths. He cant tell me anything without exaggerating it to the max or lying about it. I asked him yesterday if he had talked to his dad and he said no. I know for a fact he did. When I was quite about it, he then said. oh I think I talked to hi...	Cathyinaz	10	510	May 21, 2014 by Breakingfree
	Irritated (Preview) I was waiting for the wife outside her meeting last night. She came up and introduced me to a couple that were at her meeting the first time. The guy was an A, hadn't been to AA for 30 years, hadn't drank in thAT time, but HAD recently relapsed. his wife went to the meeting because it was open, but my wife r...	KennyFenderjazz	15	610	May 21, 2014 by Breakingfree
	My rigid mother Mom Denial Coping Unhealthy (Preview) Today casually texting with my mother turned bad when I realized she was in fact drunk at 2 in the afternoon and had started a text rant about members of our extended family. My cousin expressed a couple years ago that my mother thinks she's better than the rest of the family. The thing I don't understand...	Frustrated Daughter	6	10878	May 21, 2014 by Breakingfree
	Brain is trying to trick me today (Preview) So at our mediation session my ex-a tried to label me as judge and jury. I never once said the word good or bad, (he did) however I stuck to behaviors. He also told me I was bi-polar. Today I am having a hard time not letting his comments sink in. I know I need rest.	Truth	7	503	May 21, 2014 by Breakingfree
	Little thing, big work (Preview) These days the little things show me how much work I have to do for myself and for healing my disease. Example. It is night time and I go to bed early with a migraine. When sober BF comes to bed, I wake up. I feel upset and "wronged" because "he woke me up". I still have my migraine and I...	Fifi	5	354	May 21, 2014 by Fifi
	The kids..... (Preview) My older son is noticing more and more when AH is drinking. Most of the drinking is done after the kids go to bed, but lately he's been spending more and more weekends drinking all weekend. My son says.... "He acts so weird." "He talks so funny." "He smells so bad."...	Hot Chicka	3	462	May 21, 2014 by 1lostmom
	HP (Preview) When I came to alanon, I already had a relationship with HP. I'd had a "religious" experience 20+ yrs ago and went from agnostic to believer. So to incorporate HP into my recovery was not a struggle. My A on the other hand told me today that she is looking for her HP. I said "good."...	Lyne	3	466	May 20, 2014 by KennyFenderjazz
	Apparently I am selfish (Preview) My AH still doesn't have a job. We aren't living together so he thinks I shouldn't be asking him about his plans on getting a job. He finds my questioning offensive. When I express my concern about this subject, he tells me I am selfish. when I get upset i read CAL. I opened up the book "opening our hea...	Newlife girl	6	565	May 20, 2014 by grateful2be
	Yep, you are enough! (Preview)	PP	12	684	May 20, 2014 by pinkchip
	A or B? (Preview) Hi. I visit this board often, but only post occasionally. I'm almost 5 months in Alanon, with f2f meetings and a sponsor. I am truly grateful for the support of the program and mostly the beautiful people who help each other. While I've made significant progress, I think, I still grapple daily with my d...	ssilver	8	650	May 20, 2014 by PP
	How do you deal with the internet? (Preview) Is there such thing as internet innocence ?between a married woman and A single man that has a steady g/f that he lives with??or am I just jumping to conclusions and being mean????thats what I'm feeling from all that .and now they both are off the internet and have each other's cell phones but he says the...	lookingup	8	569	May 19, 2014 by KennyFenderjazz
	Faith Faith Faith (Preview) Today I got a message from my son saying : many prayers needed. I responded : I will always have you in prayers and giving you to god is healthy for me as well as yourself. I know my son is going through a lot but I can't do nothing for him that he can not do for himself. I have turned him over to god. I have so much f...	Gaby	6	442	May 19, 2014 by Pamela1954
	Am I still "sad" susie anymore??? (Preview) Thank you PP for such a simple yet thought provoking challenge! PP kept asking me if I was still "sad" susie. I didn't think much of it the first few times, but I did today. I can think of a million other things that describe my present journey as well as what I HOPE for my journey to look like. Th...	sadsusie	5	368	May 19, 2014 by sadsusie
	My HP is really leading me to be the real me. (Preview) I have really struggled over the last 10+ years. My AH has been very controlling and demeaning. I had felt worthless, and was subtly encouraged to stay in my "safe" shell of a home, and I had no friends. Really, NO friends. I had lots of acquaintances, but no phone numbers saved to my phone. An...	sadsusie	5	450	May 19, 2014 by Lyne
	Red Flags .. (Preview) I was thinking a lot about this today for some reason at what point did I stop listening to my intuition regarding my stbax. Really any romantic relationship .. I really have picked emotionally unavailable people .. pretty much because I'm emotionally unavailable. I have never had a model of what a...	SerenityRUS	8	653	May 19, 2014 by Debilyn
	I bought a new car! Got a great deal...my HP works in mysterious ways! (Preview) I really needed a new car. I researched a lot about the car I was looking at. I went to 2 dealerships. One that was close to me told me my credit was too bad to get an interest rate lower than 20% and my payment would be $400-500 a month. He told me this without even trying to get me a loan. I received a call from an...	Newlife girl	5	347	May 19, 2014 by Debilyn
	Hard Day (Preview) My son is visiting with his father today and what we mediated yesterday he is already deciding that he is not following. Today I cannot do anything about it but pray because it is not filed with court yet. I am ready to move on. This man has shown me who he is and I believe him. I am actually thankful for the ex...	Truth	5	413	May 19, 2014 by Breakingfree
	wisdom (Preview) "Life is too short, or too long, for me to allow myself the luxury of living it badly." Paulo Coehlo	Beatrice	3	378	May 19, 2014 by Breakingfree
	Internet cheating (Preview) My a bf has been talking to a old childhood school friend for mths,everyday sometimes several times a day.and then they started texting and exchanged phone no.and my a bf still wants to say it was all innocent .but he is trying to come off suboxones and he has been ill and can't sleep.im trying to keep my c...	lookingup	11	467	May 19, 2014 by grateful2be
	The behaviors/blaming is still there (Preview) I haven't been here in a long time during that time we have had our ups and downs but nothing really serious. My A fiance quit drinking almost 4 years ago doesn't go to meetings but overall does well, except with me. He has depression and has been on meds. for the same amount of time which seem to help some...	Holly09	7	632	May 19, 2014 by Holly09
	Unrealistic expectations, grim forecast (Preview) We went out for a congratulatory: 'I got into school' dinner, knowing he'd been drinking. I knew the fun night would slowly shift into his usual woe-is-me the world is out to get us, antics, but I was hoping for something that wasn't going to happen. I knew my expectations were unreasonable. I could fee...	astallaslions	6	520	May 18, 2014 by milkwood
	Im so angry! (Preview) I'm so angry out of my mind, my husband has been sober for two months. But he seems to think that just because he is sober he can be very irresponsible when it comes to do what is priority in the house like make sure we have money to pay bills, pay for gas, eat etc. So, he begged me to go with him to local casino ne...	NavySealWife	9	525	May 18, 2014 by Grace7
	conflicting feelings (Preview) sooooo tonight my ah went to a friend of mines house with me, to hang. he had had a few before we left. which ticked me off, . .those at the gathering all drink , but when im there on my own its just relaxed and laid back.i had a glass of wine. as the night went on, he drank more, talked more and finally i managed t...	Theoceancalls	14	564	May 18, 2014 by el-cee
	scared (Preview) This is the first time i have ever been on a sight talking about my daughter. She is 23 and i am so scared for her. She has been an addict for what seems like so long now. I feel like i am watching her slowly kill herself. She has seen so many of her friends die from their addictions. I worry everyday that i am goi...	sharonnpr	3	389	May 18, 2014 by Cathyinaz
	Step 1 (Preview) After reflecting on "we are powerless", I think to some extend, everyone has the misconception that they are in control or can effect a change in someone else. Except that with an A in our lives, the door slammed hard on our face. It is living with an A that causes our control mentality to wors...	sunshine23	9	629	May 18, 2014 by Truth
	I don't know what's going on??? (Preview) My a bf came and helped me go get a shelf that I bought ,and he brought it to my house and while he was here he ate the spaghetti I made ,and then he jumped up and walked outside in a bold way we had words about this internet woman he had been talking to for 5mths and it got really ugly,then I went to get me 1of my 2mg...	lookingup	7	563	May 18, 2014 by Debilyn
	Happy A was here for a day. (Preview) I received a gift from A the other night. The first, ever. It is a coffee machine that I have been quite vocally wishing for for a long time. I'm awfully fussy about my coffee. So that was a surprise. I decided not to question his motives, and to stop second guessing my own (should I accept it, does that mean...	Melly1248	11	790	May 18, 2014 by Debilyn
	A Question....ok what makes ya not answer???? (Preview) I am thinking a lot about this as is my son. He has been cheated on so many times, then the last, looked like he found the one, someone he knew a long time, just out of nowhere left. huh? I have been widowed twice. Then had a very very serious long long term friendship that he told me he loved me and wanted more....	Debilyn	15	1058	May 18, 2014 by WorkingThroughIt
	I found who stole from me (Preview) I was at my neighbors house and had left my purse in her house and stepped outside with my neighbor and my purse was left unattended inside neighbors house with her drug addict son who just got out of prison,but I'm not gonna even mention it to my neighbor she is Old and tired.im feeling a bit bad for accusi...	lookingup	3	402	May 18, 2014 by Debilyn
	the steps and shortcomings (Preview) Im really interested in the steps at the moment and Im quite new to them. I can see my shortcomings clearly these days, thankfully. Im not in denial of my own issues and i am willing to deal with them. I want to work through them in a healthy way. I know il never be perfect, i dont think that would be a good thin...	el-cee	6	488	May 18, 2014 by el-cee
	some days are hard, others, not so much (Preview) Today was hard. My mother is 91 and has dementia. Her live-in friend/part-time caregiver is an active alcohol. We have paid care-givers coming in daily for several hours. The A just can't go with the program. I can't expect him to. I am powerless over his illlness and his behavior. But the care...	Lyne	8	522	May 18, 2014 by grateful2be
	Hey I'm back. (Preview) This all seems weird but my a/bf is be haveing like he or she has done nothing wrong,ha.he put all his stuff in the other bedroom and he told me earlier that we was even now,I don't know what he is talking about except that he is trying to mask his guilt ,I can't go any loger with him I'm ready for him to leave bu...	lookingup	4	341	May 18, 2014 by grateful2be
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.