Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

lookingup · lookingup

I knew better but didn't want to do what I knew was right or better???? Just read a post on here about doing better but they didn't know any better that was what helped them but as for me I do and did know better but still did it anyways cause ing me a lot of pain and greif

Lyne · Lyne

I really do love my meeting on Tuesday nights. I have been going faithfully for a little over a year. At the beginning I didn't really get it, the reading from the notebook, sharing without crosstalk, etc. Now the meeting is like an infusion of hope and caring right into my veins! I shared last night...

cat4554 · cat4554

Here is my story short and to the point. 10 years ago my marriage started to unravel. Were we arguing ? Sure. Were we both to blame ? Yes. 2009 my H was not the man I married, drinking far to much for my comfort level. In 2010 the lying started, saying he was working late when he wasn't. Coming home at 10...

Newlife girl · Newlife girl

I've decided to start reading more. I started reading "The Secret." Has anyone read it? Interesting, but I might have a hard time buying into it all. However, it is like believing in a higher power and trusting him. There are 3 steps. 1. Ask. Ask for what you want from the "universe&quo...

tiredtonite · tiredtonite

Well, I hope this make you laugh too. I had an appointment in the city last week and my bf who is in AA came along. It had been awhile since I'd been in the city and the weather was just perfect for sitting outside in one of those cafes. When we got out of the car i commented on how beautiful it was out. My thou...

Sallygcoe · Sallygcoe

My AS is not in any recovery program. He does not deny that he has problems but neither does he do anything to correct them. He says he is not using but all signs point to the opposite. He is so very angry about everything. He has such abnormal reactions to things that are just really not that important. I am...

Jerry F · Jerry F

after doing what it is you have done. Prayers being answered gratefully. Family I have to upgrade that the consequences of the prayers you were asked for are that the woman who had relapsed, been hospitalized and was living in her car with her son is now back into the program and her meetings. She...

Emmie11 · Emmie11

The checklist below is an excerpt from the conference approved brochure, Alcoholism the Family Disease, available for sale at face to face meetings and online at www.al-anon.alateen.org Non-Conference approved editorial notes, purely from Emmie's personal perspective and e...

Hullibee · Hullibee

He says I'm smothering him. I don't feel like I am. He claims I am following him, texting too much, calling, and constantly watching him. I have been struggling NOT to do these things. I wait all day long and force myself Not to text or call. I know better than to go to bars it's no use. I haven't done th...

Amanda32 · Amanda32

Hi everyone. I'm new here and was hoping for some advice. I've recently had a baby with my best friend who is a recovering alcoholic. He's been sober almost 7 years. When we decided to have the baby he was like a posterboy for recovery - he'd done alot of work on himself and seemed to be in a great place. V...

Jerry F · Jerry F

HP responded. I left the conversation with my sponsee last evening where we were planning "B"; a safe place they could stay overnight in the car and things he might do during the discharge from emergency. The decision was that they would stay in an area that is fairly well known for bein...

lookingup · lookingup

I've picked up some bad habits of his ever since all his foolishness,I'm now back to smoking and I take bc powders everyday both of them are some of his bad addictions are now mine,but I do own them cause he didn't make me do them and he didn't encourage me do do them either he did try to discourage me but I wou...

tiredtonite · tiredtonite

Went to a celebration of someone's first year of sobriety over the weekend. It was the son of a couple in AA. The dad and mom were hosting the party for the son in the family home. We'd been to their house for a holiday party last year. The family has a very beautiful home and as we were getting closer to...

lookingup · lookingup

Me and a friend went walking this early morning gonna start everyday doing this and it actually felt great.funny how strange it feels when you actually start taking care of myself .im hoping this will be a ongoing thing for me.i need it.my bf just acting diff.i dont know what his motives are and I'm onl...

lookingup · lookingup

powerless to overcome my addiction???? Hm why can't I see what my addiction is ?me and my bf are back dping great again so now the past tends to be just a blurr.and how has my life became unmanageable now that he is back my life is manageable????can someone here plz help me with this one I always thought thi...

kidznrs · kidznrs

I believe my partner enables her daughter. I haven't actually seen a lot of the stuff. The daughter parrots things she thinks my partner wants to hear. I went to the zoo, alone, and said how I thought they were building a place where you go to feed the giraffes. The daughter "went" to the z...

deacon · deacon

Supposed to be just a family shower but the whole bridal party showed up. Family knew we would be serving no alcohol but the wedding party did not. Well hey, we had not invited them. There were eight of them and I know they all drink frequently. Wondered how they would accept a dry party. There were scads o...

slowlearner · slowlearner

I had a rough weekend dealing with alcohol abuse and my loved ones. But out of the drama and heartache I learned one thing. That I must focus on me because I am the only one who can pull myself out of this situation. I will keep coming to Alanon and focus time on myself to get better. I realized that I rely...

lookingup · lookingup

I'm up every other morning puckering at 1 am and have to take a strong nerve pill,I'm working step one right now and takeing my time to really understand the meaning of it,I'm relying soo much on this program and 12 steps everyday all most all day long wanting relief from all this pain of liveing with an a,...

Newlife girl · Newlife girl

No offense to the decent men here...but are most men pigs like my STBXAH??? I have mentioned how I found some disturbing things he posted on a disgusting website...well I looked at website again and figured out he has posted many many things under different names. I can tell it's him. Unbelievable. I d...

Theoceancalls · Theoceancalls

welllll one would thoink the heart racing and the dr saying its connected to drinkng 'so slow it down'(dumb statement)woukd maybe be wake up call. . nope. sooo that brings us to last nite. . i went with daughter and friends to drive ins. .figuring hubby would go do his thing. at midnight i get a call as the...

Gaby · Gaby

Yesterday for the first time I went to see my son. He looks real good but don't they always when they have to stay sober. I prayed to not walk in with any anger. I told him I love him and all that has happened good bad and indifferent while he's been out in the streets and in jail!!! He wants to get transitioned...

Rebecca B · Rebecca B

I don't know why I'm staying. I have enough of my own stuff to deal with. I don't want to have to deal or even be around someone else struggling with a disease anymore. I need a little hope I guess.

blessed · blessed

Well, today the AH agreed to most of my financial settlement agreement. I had to give on a few things, and was more than glad to just to get him to agree and I can give to atty to draw up. He works w/ a bunch of attornyes at his job (although they are not civil attys he thinks they can tell him if it is "fair&...

Newlife girl · Newlife girl

So today I felt really lonely. I was reminiscing about things I miss in my marriage. I was down on myself for having 2 failed marriages. I was depressed about an argument I had with my oldest child. I made a mistake, once again, by thinking my husband could fix everything. Why do I continue to look for help...

John · John

Hi Everyone, I hope you are having a good day. On our Meeting/Chat Room Info board we are discussing the issue of registering MIP's Al-Anon portion of this site with AFG World Service Center. A group member, Tigger was nominated and elected to act as the liaison between us and World Service Center to...

Flower49 · Flower49

Hi all! I have really been struggling since Wednesday when my AH called to tell me now he wants to speak to me only once a week and then if there are activities he will invite me or not. I am really trying hard to let it go, let it go, let it go, but I find myself mad, hurt, frustrated, confused, sad......I seri...

sunrise2014 · sunrise2014

My AH was in a very dark place yesterday since I validated out separation, since I've put my foot down. His mother said he cried all night and this morning he cried as he walked out the door for work. He stated he was tired of living (not sure if that was a manipulative tactic) yesterday. Well, got a call...

Sean_82 · Sean_82

Happy Monday to all.. well kind of, trying to stay positive but a tough weekend punctuated by moments of happiness (mainly when out riding and not with the AW) but now feeling drained and down, but will read though the forum and look for inspiration. Sean

SpiderArcana · SpiderArcana

So, this morning I went to say goodbye to my AH when I left for work (he goes in later than I do), and he seemed really confused and out of it. I tried not to, but my brain immediately went on 'Has he been drinking?' alert. Went to work, sent him a text an hour or so later about an appointment with someone to ta...

lookingup · lookingup

It says in our preamble to be able to understand and give them encouragement to the a,my a don't ever get drunk he drinks everyday but just a couple helps his paiin.someone plz help me to understand the .....to be able to understand the a and give them encouragement. Thank you -- Edited by lookingup on Sa...

lookingup · lookingup

Is it true once a cheater always a cheater?should I trust him????this one scares me to death.

slowlearner · slowlearner

I just wanted to say thank you for the wonderful people on this website. I had an awful weekend and just knowing that someone was out there listening and offering encouraement made me feel much better.

Katy · Katy

I am still away from home and feeling so many emotions, I had first communication from my husband after two and half weeks, it actually upset me more speaking with him again, but gradually I have come to terms with that and am accepting it is all a process, I have no goal as yet sept to heal myself from the t...

sunrise2014 · sunrise2014

So, my Addict husband has been out of rehab for a month and a half, but since has decided to stop working on our marriage and wanted to split up (which we have) and has continued a phone relationship with someone who he met at rehab.....which tore me to absolute pieces, since it was happening in my own home...

slowlearner · slowlearner

It was supposed to be a fun family gathering, a meal to get together and catch up on things. It started out fine until everyone drank too much and got into a heated discussion. i usally don't go to social events with my AH but decided to go because my daughter and son-in-law were going to be there. This d...

lookingup · lookingup

I've been wondering also as on another post that I read is why do I stay and the answer came to me in an instant of course my a came back into my life 2and a half yrs ago today I've forgotten what it was like being without him,I'm gotten closer to him these 2and a half yrs is all it takes for me to get closer to them...

kidznrs · kidznrs

I had no intention of saying anything. I've been to a f to f meeting, read the alanon books each day, praying to HP. Today when my partner says, you don't believe her (A stepdaughter), I said no. She's an A. My partner just stopped talking. I said only As buy vodka to clean a couch. This is a dry state an...

deramam · deramam

I was on an online social media page where people were saying that they were going to Al-Anon meetings even though they weren't affected by someone's alcoholism. One specific person said they were going because it helped them with their spouses PTSD. This sounds wrong to me. I don't think anyone not a...

likemyheart · likemyheart

Last night was a special event in our town, music and food. I didnt go, just didnt want to for no reason and beside the point. Why I lead off with it here has to do with the price of the food. $10 for a hamburger plate??? Five bucks for a hotdog, but the music is free. And, you can buy beer, wine, soft drinks, etc...

andromeda · andromeda

I don't know what got into me. I had greeted a woman from the meeting who tends to have a bit of sarcastic humor and can be a bit biting with her comments, and usually I can handle her but I was really put off by it last night. Then, I realized we had a speaker coming in, and I usually love speaker meetings, bu...

Hullibee · Hullibee

Here I sit tonight my AH left at 10:30 to go " get drunk". Our adult son confronted him tonight in front of me. He wanted to know if his Dad is still seeing the other woman. My AH got very angry after this. We went to dinner and he could hardly eat. I tried to talk to him but he keeps saying he doesn't...

watts · watts

So why is it so hard? Everything!! I don't want to find a job here because somewhere in my heart I've not really left even though physically I'm gone. Why hasn't he called me begging me to come back and promising that he'll change? Why am I still waiting? I'm stuck in limbo and don't really want to mov...

el-cee · el-cee

Since I came out of denial and became aware of myself, I have grown to love myself. I am more willing to look after myself in many ways. Some ways must seem ridiculous to healthy people unaffected by alcoholism. Is there a name for these people, muggles or norms or something? I wear nail varnish now, loud...

sunshine23 · sunshine23

I maybe the sick one in this. After years of living in insanity with AH and verbal abuses, I finally moved out. Then came the revelation of him staying at a shady part of town for a night. I am still worried about him and feels that I can forgive all thesewhen he is in recovery. Why would I even think that?? F...

mercedes1959 · mercedes1959

Hi everyone - I had a recent change at work and I have not been taking care of myself, not going to meetings. I had some stressful things happen and boy did I hit bottom again. Well, this time the bottom was not so low. I am able to regroup, went to a meeting last night and chaired a meeting this morning. I have...

Mirandac · Mirandac

my dry ah plans on moving back home on monday. I had told him he could till the financials are all figured out( i plan on moving to an apt in town when i am ready) Then i asked about his girlfriend i thought it was at the wanna be stage still, i guess i was wrong. I said if you live here you are still a married man n...

blessed · blessed

What a week. Some just regular "busy" and unexpected things that had to be dealth with immediately. A few days ago the AH opened up his own bank acct, so the next day I went and took out half of what was left just in case there is nothing else. Of course he was furious. But that didn't come out for a...

Wisdom67 · Wisdom67

I had a good productive week things are still not happing as fast as I want but maybe this is the way it has to be for me . Since I can only handle one thing at a time . It took me to get to my extream lowest to start closing up to isolate to attemp self harm because I though it would be the best thing for all if I was go...

lilsis64 · lilsis64

Hello, I am new to all of this. I am looking for someone to talk to and share my experience with. I have just lost my beloved little sister to alcohol related cirrhosis and it's complications. I have watched her suffer for many years and have felt helpless. I have tried to be there for her and always tried t...

lookingup · lookingup

But I also want to do what's best for me weather my bf is still seeing that woman or not I keep a feeling that he is I maybe wrong but I got some stuff on her that she cheats on her husband so my bf just left and said he was going to a buddy of his I dunno if he is telling the truth ,I'm got dressed put my makeup on and am...

blessed · blessed

I am on my second A marriage, so I have seen my share of "counselors". Unfortunately, nothing really worked because we were both together in the sessions, or we would have individual and joint alternating; and it was always handled as a marriage problem. Obviously, we have a probem in our m...

Newlife girl · Newlife girl

Will try to make this short, i need to go to work. Anyway my AH tells me our daughter keeps telling him she wants us to stay together. Of course a child will say that! she is almost 9 Yrs old...still very young to understand the dynamics of alcoholism. He tells me he wants her to be able to talk about anything...

missmeliss · missmeliss

I haven't driven anywhere yet. Took my car to the mechanic and he said he can look at it tomorrow but most likely will need to get a part; it could be expensive, it could be I have to wait a week for him to get it in, oh well. All that is wrong is the speedo doesn't work but, since the main thing I kept doing wrong i...

lookingup · lookingup

Each and everyday all I can take is baby steps for I'm still in the woods with my a bf,I'm going loafing today visit my friend ,and try try try to keep the focus on me and off him,his life is chaotic ,always something going wrong,as for me and my life I value my serenity and peace of mind,I've got to do this I kn...

Venera · Venera

Hi, does anybody have a good way of dealing with a blaming game? My AH called me a b**** infront of his friend yesterday ( first time ever he called me something bad infront if another person) and it was truly over a very stupid argument. He then set with his friend drinking beer and when I confronted him to...

lookingup · lookingup

Can someone plz give me a list of the slogans for me to memorize?

pinkchip · pinkchip

17 day honeymoon starts today after I get home from work. Will be flying to London tonight. Staying there 2 days, then embarking on a 2 week Baltic Cruise. Ports will include several in Norway, Sweden, Denmark, Estonia, Russia (that stop is making me a little antsy at the moment), and Holland. I wi...

lookingup · lookingup

I'm still sitting here alone not knowing where my a is at he won't answer his ph.half the time lots of excuses,but that's ok cause I still have me and my peace of mind knowing that my hp is watching over me and my roof over head and food and everything g else here all belongs to me that I'm grateful for,and I lo...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

I got hired today and am on such a high from how things just keep improving for me. I am so excited about my life right now. I am reaping the benefits of really listening to my sponsor and following my al-anon program, and yes it was work and hard making the changes, but I am here to say it works when you work it...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	I knew better (Preview) I knew better but didn't want to do what I knew was right or better???? Just read a post on here about doing better but they didn't know any better that was what helped them but as for me I do and did know better but still did it anyways cause ing me a lot of pain and greif	lookingup	5	353	Jul 31, 2014 by KennyFenderjazz
	I love my meeting! (Preview) I really do love my meeting on Tuesday nights. I have been going faithfully for a little over a year. At the beginning I didn't really get it, the reading from the notebook, sharing without crosstalk, etc. Now the meeting is like an infusion of hope and caring right into my veins! I shared last night...	Lyne	1	257	Jul 31, 2014 by hotrod
	When Love is not enough , I could use suggestions / advice ( 1 2 ) (Preview) Here is my story short and to the point. 10 years ago my marriage started to unravel. Were we arguing ? Sure. Were we both to blame ? Yes. 2009 my H was not the man I married, drinking far to much for my comfort level. In 2010 the lying started, saying he was working late when he wasn't. Coming home at 10...	cat4554	41	1202	Jul 31, 2014 by whispers
	The Secret (Preview) I've decided to start reading more. I started reading "The Secret." Has anyone read it? Interesting, but I might have a hard time buying into it all. However, it is like believing in a higher power and trusting him. There are 3 steps. 1. Ask. Ask for what you want from the "universe&quo...	Newlife girl	7	570	Jul 31, 2014 by blessed
	Humor Is Good (Preview) Well, I hope this make you laugh too. I had an appointment in the city last week and my bf who is in AA came along. It had been awhile since I'd been in the city and the weather was just perfect for sitting outside in one of those cafes. When we got out of the car i commented on how beautiful it was out. My thou...	tiredtonite	7	332	Jul 31, 2014 by Jerry F
	the results of their guilt is so hard to deal with (Preview) My AS is not in any recovery program. He does not deny that he has problems but neither does he do anything to correct them. He says he is not using but all signs point to the opposite. He is so very angry about everything. He has such abnormal reactions to things that are just really not that important. I am...	Sallygcoe	2	318	Jul 31, 2014 by Jerry F
	Consequences are what you get (Preview) after doing what it is you have done. Prayers being answered gratefully. Family I have to upgrade that the consequences of the prayers you were asked for are that the woman who had relapsed, been hospitalized and was living in her car with her son is now back into the program and her meetings. She...	Jerry F	4	334	Jul 31, 2014 by el-cee
	Maturity Checklist (Preview) The checklist below is an excerpt from the conference approved brochure, Alcoholism the Family Disease, available for sale at face to face meetings and online at www.al-anon.alateen.org Non-Conference approved editorial notes, purely from Emmie's personal perspective and e...	Emmie11	9	26288	Jul 30, 2014 by SunshineGirl
	Smothering (Preview) He says I'm smothering him. I don't feel like I am. He claims I am following him, texting too much, calling, and constantly watching him. I have been struggling NOT to do these things. I wait all day long and force myself Not to text or call. I know better than to go to bars it's no use. I haven't done th...	Hullibee	15	2731	Jul 30, 2014 by Kelly123
	recovery slipping? (Preview) Hi everyone. I'm new here and was hoping for some advice. I've recently had a baby with my best friend who is a recovering alcoholic. He's been sober almost 7 years. When we decided to have the baby he was like a posterboy for recovery - he'd done alot of work on himself and seemed to be in a great place. V...	Amanda32	13	517	Jul 30, 2014 by Amanda32
	After and During your prayer times.... (Preview) HP responded. I left the conversation with my sponsee last evening where we were planning "B"; a safe place they could stay overnight in the car and things he might do during the discharge from emergency. The decision was that they would stay in an area that is fairly well known for bein...	Jerry F	15	557	Jul 30, 2014 by Tasha
	His bad habits (Preview) I've picked up some bad habits of his ever since all his foolishness,I'm now back to smoking and I take bc powders everyday both of them are some of his bad addictions are now mine,but I do own them cause he didn't make me do them and he didn't encourage me do do them either he did try to discourage me but I wou...	lookingup	6	414	Jul 30, 2014 by KennyFenderjazz
	A Nice Celebration of First Year Sobriety (Preview) Went to a celebration of someone's first year of sobriety over the weekend. It was the son of a couple in AA. The dad and mom were hosting the party for the son in the family home. We'd been to their house for a holiday party last year. The family has a very beautiful home and as we were getting closer to...	tiredtonite	2	450	Jul 30, 2014 by grateful2be
	Taking car of me (Preview) Me and a friend went walking this early morning gonna start everyday doing this and it actually felt great.funny how strange it feels when you actually start taking care of myself .im hoping this will be a ongoing thing for me.i need it.my bf just acting diff.i dont know what his motives are and I'm onl...	lookingup	0	277	Jul 30, 2014 by lookingup
	Step 1 .Admit that I'm powerless my addictions and that my life has become unmanageable. (Preview) powerless to overcome my addiction???? Hm why can't I see what my addiction is ?me and my bf are back dping great again so now the past tends to be just a blurr.and how has my life became unmanageable now that he is back my life is manageable????can someone here plz help me with this one I always thought thi...	lookingup	6	481	Jul 29, 2014 by Mimi3
	Enabling (Preview) I believe my partner enables her daughter. I haven't actually seen a lot of the stuff. The daughter parrots things she thinks my partner wants to hear. I went to the zoo, alone, and said how I thought they were building a place where you go to feed the giraffes. The daughter "went" to the z...	kidznrs	7	512	Jul 29, 2014 by Mattie
	Hosted a 'dry' wedding shower for my nephew (Preview) Supposed to be just a family shower but the whole bridal party showed up. Family knew we would be serving no alcohol but the wedding party did not. Well hey, we had not invited them. There were eight of them and I know they all drink frequently. Wondered how they would accept a dry party. There were scads o...	deacon	2	401	Jul 29, 2014 by Newlife girl
	Lesson I Learned (Preview) I had a rough weekend dealing with alcohol abuse and my loved ones. But out of the drama and heartache I learned one thing. That I must focus on me because I am the only one who can pull myself out of this situation. I will keep coming to Alanon and focus time on myself to get better. I realized that I rely...	slowlearner	5	276	Jul 29, 2014 by grateful2be
	Sick (Preview) I'm up every other morning puckering at 1 am and have to take a strong nerve pill,I'm working step one right now and takeing my time to really understand the meaning of it,I'm relying soo much on this program and 12 steps everyday all most all day long wanting relief from all this pain of liveing with an a,...	lookingup	10	474	Jul 29, 2014 by grateful2be
	Will never trust men again...I am convinced (Preview) No offense to the decent men here...but are most men pigs like my STBXAH??? I have mentioned how I found some disturbing things he posted on a disgusting website...well I looked at website again and figured out he has posted many many things under different names. I can tell it's him. Unbelievable. I d...	Newlife girl	5	510	Jul 29, 2014 by grateful2be
	couple of long updates, sorry for typos. . . (Preview) welllll one would thoink the heart racing and the dr saying its connected to drinkng 'so slow it down'(dumb statement)woukd maybe be wake up call. . nope. sooo that brings us to last nite. . i went with daughter and friends to drive ins. .figuring hubby would go do his thing. at midnight i get a call as the...	Theoceancalls	1	354	Jul 29, 2014 by Jerry F
	Off to a meeting.. (Preview) Yesterday for the first time I went to see my son. He looks real good but don't they always when they have to stay sober. I prayed to not walk in with any anger. I told him I love him and all that has happened good bad and indifferent while he's been out in the streets and in jail!!! He wants to get transitioned...	Gaby	3	276	Jul 29, 2014 by Jerry F
	Why Do I stay? (Preview) I don't know why I'm staying. I have enough of my own stuff to deal with. I don't want to have to deal or even be around someone else struggling with a disease anymore. I need a little hope I guess.	Rebecca B	13	768	Jul 28, 2014 by sunrise2014
	Working slogans (Preview) Well, today the AH agreed to most of my financial settlement agreement. I had to give on a few things, and was more than glad to just to get him to agree and I can give to atty to draw up. He works w/ a bunch of attornyes at his job (although they are not civil attys he thinks they can tell him if it is "fair&...	blessed	7	634	Jul 28, 2014 by grateful2be
	My loneliness worked against me today (Preview) So today I felt really lonely. I was reminiscing about things I miss in my marriage. I was down on myself for having 2 failed marriages. I was depressed about an argument I had with my oldest child. I made a mistake, once again, by thinking my husband could fix everything. Why do I continue to look for help...	Newlife girl	5	562	Jul 28, 2014 by Newlife girl
	Group Conscious Issue - Reminder - Only 6 days away! (closed) (Preview) Hi Everyone, I hope you are having a good day. On our Meeting/Chat Room Info board we are discussing the issue of registering MIP's Al-Anon portion of this site with AFG World Service Center. A group member, Tigger was nominated and elected to act as the liaison between us and World Service Center to...	John	0	272	Jul 28, 2014 by John
	Still Struggling....why can't I just let it go! (Preview) Hi all! I have really been struggling since Wednesday when my AH called to tell me now he wants to speak to me only once a week and then if there are activities he will invite me or not. I am really trying hard to let it go, let it go, let it go, but I find myself mad, hurt, frustrated, confused, sad......I seri...	Flower49	13	584	Jul 28, 2014 by grateful2be
	I'm in panic-mode (Preview) My AH was in a very dark place yesterday since I validated out separation, since I've put my foot down. His mother said he cried all night and this morning he cried as he walked out the door for work. He stated he was tired of living (not sure if that was a manipulative tactic) yesterday. Well, got a call...	sunrise2014	3	403	Jul 28, 2014 by grateful2be
	Monday morning blues (Preview) Happy Monday to all.. well kind of, trying to stay positive but a tough weekend punctuated by moments of happiness (mainly when out riding and not with the AW) but now feeling drained and down, but will read though the forum and look for inspiration. Sean	Sean_82	6	433	Jul 28, 2014 by KennyFenderjazz
	Triggers and reacting (Preview) So, this morning I went to say goodbye to my AH when I left for work (he goes in later than I do), and he seemed really confused and out of it. I tried not to, but my brain immediately went on 'Has he been drinking?' alert. Went to work, sent him a text an hour or so later about an appointment with someone to ta...	SpiderArcana	3	959	Jul 28, 2014 by Newlife girl
	Meaning of encouragement and understanding the a and how do I accomplish this (Preview) It says in our preamble to be able to understand and give them encouragement to the a,my a don't ever get drunk he drinks everyday but just a couple helps his paiin.someone plz help me to understand the .....to be able to understand the a and give them encouragement. Thank you -- Edited by lookingup on Sa...	lookingup	7	663	Jul 28, 2014 by Mattie
	Cheater (Preview) Is it true once a cheater always a cheater?should I trust him????this one scares me to death.	lookingup	16	782	Jul 28, 2014 by grateful2be
	Thank you (Preview) I just wanted to say thank you for the wonderful people on this website. I had an awful weekend and just knowing that someone was out there listening and offering encouraement made me feel much better.	slowlearner	3	290	Jul 28, 2014 by grateful2be
	Katy update! (Preview) I am still away from home and feeling so many emotions, I had first communication from my husband after two and half weeks, it actually upset me more speaking with him again, but gradually I have come to terms with that and am accepting it is all a process, I have no goal as yet sept to heal myself from the t...	Katy	6	593	Jul 28, 2014 by sunrise2014
	My feelings don't make sense (Preview) So, my Addict husband has been out of rehab for a month and a half, but since has decided to stop working on our marriage and wanted to split up (which we have) and has continued a phone relationship with someone who he met at rehab.....which tore me to absolute pieces, since it was happening in my own home...	sunrise2014	9	555	Jul 28, 2014 by PP
	So stressed I slept all day... (Preview) It was supposed to be a fun family gathering, a meal to get together and catch up on things. It started out fine until everyone drank too much and got into a heated discussion. i usally don't go to social events with my AH but decided to go because my daughter and son-in-law were going to be there. This d...	slowlearner	11	533	Jul 28, 2014 by PP
	Understanding it (Preview) I've been wondering also as on another post that I read is why do I stay and the answer came to me in an instant of course my a came back into my life 2and a half yrs ago today I've forgotten what it was like being without him,I'm gotten closer to him these 2and a half yrs is all it takes for me to get closer to them...	lookingup	2	316	Jul 27, 2014 by hotrod
	New use for vodka (Preview) I had no intention of saying anything. I've been to a f to f meeting, read the alanon books each day, praying to HP. Today when my partner says, you don't believe her (A stepdaughter), I said no. She's an A. My partner just stopped talking. I said only As buy vodka to clean a couch. This is a dry state an...	kidznrs	6	527	Jul 27, 2014 by grateful2be
	People not affected by an A (Preview) I was on an online social media page where people were saying that they were going to Al-Anon meetings even though they weren't affected by someone's alcoholism. One specific person said they were going because it helped them with their spouses PTSD. This sounds wrong to me. I don't think anyone not a...	deramam	3	365	Jul 27, 2014 by el-cee
	Sunday Morning Musing (Preview) Last night was a special event in our town, music and food. I didnt go, just didnt want to for no reason and beside the point. Why I lead off with it here has to do with the price of the food. $10 for a hamburger plate??? Five bucks for a hotdog, but the music is free. And, you can buy beer, wine, soft drinks, etc...	likemyheart	1	374	Jul 27, 2014 by grateful2be
	Walked out of a meeting last night (Preview) I don't know what got into me. I had greeted a woman from the meeting who tends to have a bit of sarcastic humor and can be a bit biting with her comments, and usually I can handle her but I was really put off by it last night. Then, I realized we had a speaker coming in, and I usually love speaker meetings, bu...	andromeda	11	665	Jul 27, 2014 by PP
	Lost in alcoholic haze. (Preview) Here I sit tonight my AH left at 10:30 to go " get drunk". Our adult son confronted him tonight in front of me. He wanted to know if his Dad is still seeing the other woman. My AH got very angry after this. We went to dinner and he could hardly eat. I tried to talk to him but he keeps saying he doesn't...	Hullibee	6	639	Jul 27, 2014 by grateful2be
	So many questions..not enough answers! (Preview) So why is it so hard? Everything!! I don't want to find a job here because somewhere in my heart I've not really left even though physically I'm gone. Why hasn't he called me begging me to come back and promising that he'll change? Why am I still waiting? I'm stuck in limbo and don't really want to mov...	watts	3	467	Jul 27, 2014 by grateful2be
	loving myself (Preview) Since I came out of denial and became aware of myself, I have grown to love myself. I am more willing to look after myself in many ways. Some ways must seem ridiculous to healthy people unaffected by alcoholism. Is there a name for these people, muggles or norms or something? I wear nail varnish now, loud...	el-cee	13	616	Jul 27, 2014 by Jerry F
	Why would I want someone like this back? (Preview) I maybe the sick one in this. After years of living in insanity with AH and verbal abuses, I finally moved out. Then came the revelation of him staying at a shady part of town for a night. I am still worried about him and feels that I can forgive all thesewhen he is in recovery. Why would I even think that?? F...	sunshine23	6	566	Jul 26, 2014 by Kelly123
	Every time I stop going to meetings I hit bottom again. This time the bottom was not so low. (Preview) Hi everyone - I had a recent change at work and I have not been taking care of myself, not going to meetings. I had some stressful things happen and boy did I hit bottom again. Well, this time the bottom was not so low. I am able to regroup, went to a meeting last night and chaired a meeting this morning. I have...	mercedes1959	4	347	Jul 26, 2014 by Jerry F
	Ah moving back home (Preview) my dry ah plans on moving back home on monday. I had told him he could till the financials are all figured out( i plan on moving to an apt in town when i am ready) Then i asked about his girlfriend i thought it was at the wanna be stage still, i guess i was wrong. I said if you live here you are still a married man n...	Mirandac	6	479	Jul 26, 2014 by Mirandac
	Today (This Week) (Preview) What a week. Some just regular "busy" and unexpected things that had to be dealth with immediately. A few days ago the AH opened up his own bank acct, so the next day I went and took out half of what was left just in case there is nothing else. Of course he was furious. But that didn't come out for a...	blessed	16	538	Jul 26, 2014 by PP
	Want to help others QTIP gets in the way (Preview) I had a good productive week things are still not happing as fast as I want but maybe this is the way it has to be for me . Since I can only handle one thing at a time . It took me to get to my extream lowest to start closing up to isolate to attemp self harm because I though it would be the best thing for all if I was go...	Wisdom67	4	488	Jul 26, 2014 by PP
	Feeling lost and alone (Preview) Hello, I am new to all of this. I am looking for someone to talk to and share my experience with. I have just lost my beloved little sister to alcohol related cirrhosis and it's complications. I have watched her suffer for many years and have felt helpless. I have tried to be there for her and always tried t...	lilsis64	8	706	Jul 26, 2014 by PAOCT2008
	I want to cry (Preview) But I also want to do what's best for me weather my bf is still seeing that woman or not I keep a feeling that he is I maybe wrong but I got some stuff on her that she cheats on her husband so my bf just left and said he was going to a buddy of his I dunno if he is telling the truth ,I'm got dressed put my makeup on and am...	lookingup	2	327	Jul 26, 2014 by el-cee
	Who's best qualified? (Preview) I am on my second A marriage, so I have seen my share of "counselors". Unfortunately, nothing really worked because we were both together in the sessions, or we would have individual and joint alternating; and it was always handled as a marriage problem. Obviously, we have a probem in our m...	blessed	8	508	Jul 26, 2014 by Newlife girl
	AH keeps asking our child if she wants us to stay together or not (Preview) Will try to make this short, i need to go to work. Anyway my AH tells me our daughter keeps telling him she wants us to stay together. Of course a child will say that! she is almost 9 Yrs old...still very young to understand the dynamics of alcoholism. He tells me he wants her to be able to talk about anything...	Newlife girl	5	494	Jul 26, 2014 by Newlife girl
	Happy. (Preview) I haven't driven anywhere yet. Took my car to the mechanic and he said he can look at it tomorrow but most likely will need to get a part; it could be expensive, it could be I have to wait a week for him to get it in, oh well. All that is wrong is the speedo doesn't work but, since the main thing I kept doing wrong i...	missmeliss	36	654	Jul 26, 2014 by Breakingfree
	Babysteps (Preview) Each and everyday all I can take is baby steps for I'm still in the woods with my a bf,I'm going loafing today visit my friend ,and try try try to keep the focus on me and off him,his life is chaotic ,always something going wrong,as for me and my life I value my serenity and peace of mind,I've got to do this I kn...	lookingup	4	315	Jul 26, 2014 by grateful2be
	AH putting all blame on me (Preview) Hi, does anybody have a good way of dealing with a blaming game? My AH called me a b**** infront of his friend yesterday ( first time ever he called me something bad infront if another person) and it was truly over a very stupid argument. He then set with his friend drinking beer and when I confronted him to...	Venera	21	697	Jul 26, 2014 by hotrod
	Slogans (Preview) Can someone plz give me a list of the slogans for me to memorize?	lookingup	5	573	Jul 26, 2014 by karma13
	Honeymoon (Preview) 17 day honeymoon starts today after I get home from work. Will be flying to London tonight. Staying there 2 days, then embarking on a 2 week Baltic Cruise. Ports will include several in Norway, Sweden, Denmark, Estonia, Russia (that stop is making me a little antsy at the moment), and Holland. I wi...	pinkchip	25	610	Jul 26, 2014 by grateful2be
	Serenity (Preview) I'm still sitting here alone not knowing where my a is at he won't answer his ph.half the time lots of excuses,but that's ok cause I still have me and my peace of mind knowing that my hp is watching over me and my roof over head and food and everything g else here all belongs to me that I'm grateful for,and I lo...	lookingup	3	234	Jul 26, 2014 by Debilyn
	I got the job! Since I found al-anon and worked my program life just keeps getting better!!! (Preview) I got hired today and am on such a high from how things just keep improving for me. I am so excited about my life right now. I am reaping the benefits of really listening to my sponsor and following my al-anon program, and yes it was work and hard making the changes, but I am here to say it works when you work it...	Breakingfree	18	557	Jul 25, 2014 by tiredtonite
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.