Maturity Checklist - Al-Anon Family Group

Emmie11 · Senior Member

Maturity Checklist

Jolert · Veteran Member

Hi Emmie,

Thank you for posting the Maturity Checklist. I look at it quite often, not only as a reminder to myself but also for a checklist of how I should be treated by others too.

Jenny

Flower49 · Senior Member

Emmie11 wrote:
The checklist below is an excerpt from the conference approved brochure, Alcoholism the Family Disease, available for sale at face to face meetings and online at www.al-anon.alateen.org
Non-Conference approved editorial notes, purely from Emmie's personal perspective and experience:
**DANGER: THIS CHECKLIST IS INTENDED AS A PERSONAL INVENTORY, LISTING POSSIBLE SITUATIONS IN WHICH YOU ARE ALREADY MATURE, AND AREAS WHERE YOU MAY DETERMINE YOU COULD USE IMPROVEMENT. IF YOU ARE USING THIS CHECKLIST TO EVALUATE ANYONE ELSE'S MATURITY PLEASE SEE #5 AND "GOLDEN RULE."**
Remember, recovery is a process, not an event... try to think of this list as an opportunity for awareness and personal growth, not a to-do list you are required to accomplish all in one day.

"A Checklist for Evaluating our Maturity
The difficulties of coping with another are much more effectively met when we ourselves reflect attitudes of mature adults.
A mature adult is one who:
1) Does not automatically resent criticism, realizing it may contain a suggestion for self-improvement.
2) Knows self pity is futile and childish-- a way of placing the blame for disappointments on others.
3) Does not readily experience a loss of temper or "fly off the handle" abouut trifles.
4) Keeps calm in emergencies and deals with them in a logical, reasonable fashion.
5) Accepts responsibility without blaming others when things go wrong.
6) Accepts reasonable delays without impatience, realizing that some adjustment for the convenience of others is necessary.
7) Is a good loser, accepting defeat and disappointment without complaint or ill temper.
8) Does not worry unduly about things that can't be changed.
9) Doesn't boast or "show off" when praised or complimented, accepts it with grace, appreciation and without false modesty.
10) Applauds others' achievements with sincere goodwill.
11) Rejoices in the good fortune and success of others, having outgrown petty jealousy and envy.
12) Listens courteously to the opinions of others even when they hold opposing views; does not enter into hostile argument.
13) Doesn't find fault with "every little thing" or criticize people who do things differently.
14) Makes reasonable plans and tries to carry them out in an orderly fashion; does not do things on the spur of the moment without due consideration.
15) Shows spiritual maturity by--
accepting the existence of a Higher Power and recognizing the importance of this power in life.
realizing each person is a part of mankind as a whole and has much to give: that each of us has an obligation to share with others the gifts that have been bestowed upon us.
obeying the spirit of the Golden Rule: "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you." "

milkwood · ~*Service Worker*~

Thank goodness for 'do unto others.' I had that drummed into me as a child and I have learnt to love all that that saying has brought me in life. Thank you for the checklist, it is a good reminder.

el-cee · ~*Service Worker*~

Thanks for bringing this into the now. Ive not seen this, I like it and I can see how much I have matured and where I need to work on it. I have noticed that I need to do my program work to keep hold of maturity, it doesnt seem to be something that once you have it thats it forever. It comes and goes dependant onmy alanon work.x

PP · ~*Service Worker*~

biggrin

Flower49 · Senior Member

I had never seen this either so I shared because it was so powerful to me.

Temple · ~*Service Worker*~

Well, the disclaimer was a buzz-kill, but the list is pretty powerful. I've printed it out. .

My massage therapist was telling me once:

Never accept responsibility.
Always place blame
If all else fails, take it personally.

And I told him that was my creed and I'd like to have it printed on a T-shirt.

I thought he was going to faint--or cry.

Temple

Kelly123 · Veteran Member

Umm I have a lot to work on!!! That was a good share also Temple :)

SunshineGirl · Senior Member

Thank you for posting this, Emmie. I am finding it very helpful.

The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.