Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

ymvv2000 · ymvv2000

A question for the double winners. My husband has been in AA for almost 12 months. I've been in Al-Anon for 10 months. Exactly what does 'constitutionally incapable of being honest with themselves' mean? Does it apply to Al-Anon? I overhead a conversation between my husband and what I took to be a...

hopes314 · hopes314

My sponsor says she can spot an A but I don't think I have the ability to do this unless I see them drinking! It makes me wonder about my doctor, dentist, and lawyer people who I trust their wisdom and advice? Maybe I need to be more discernment.. What wouldI look for? Heck the only time I know for sure is...

ohno · ohno

hello all: i find myself here after 15 years of active alanon. raised my kids. one of them is now alcoholic and acting out. i only know the tip of the iceberg, thankfully. she is raising my teen grandson. i worry for him. the entire family is affected (of course). she has rage and entitlement issues, narc...

grateful2be · grateful2be

Tonight, I went to my grandson's high school holiday concert. I listened to the strings, 3 choirs and then his symphonic band. I watched my 15 year old, sophomore grandson file in with his classmates, sporting the new tie he'd talked his Mom into buying. I saw him find his seat with his baritone be...

aquamom23 · aquamom23

Hate crying. Just hate it. Was told years ago that grief is sometimes mourning for the loss of an ideal. Its really very late here but I can't sleep yet. I'll pay for that tomorrow. All alone in a big city the week before xmas its my babies first Christmas our first with three kids. And were going to be alone...

mjferg · mjferg

I spent the day with my youngest son,we delivered gifts to the nursing home,both of my parents are there.My father was an alcoholic and a very angry man,we have never been close.I sat by my mother's bed and watched her,she has dementia,I always cry when I see her.My father came over to me and hugged me ti...

hotrod · hotrod

http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t59246554/alanon-step-10-12-2014/

ohno · ohno

I posted here five year's ago about my alcoholic daughter. I was able to let go of her and her alcoholism for the most part, but in the meantime, my grandson, now age 21 is in dire straights. We found out he was alcoholic when he was 18, sent him to rehab - since then he has been in an SLE, in jail, "okay&q...

YARNCRAZY · YARNCRAZY

2wks ago,ah went on drinking binge for 4 days. he skipped work and then threw up so much that he had to be hospitalized for dehydration,hbp and vitamin depletion. he really suffered physically with stomach pains,weakness and tremors. again he made that useless promise that it was so bad,he was goin...

joker · joker

I have been with alcoholic for 7 months, he works in camp for 2 weeks at time and home for a week. I have my own apartment with daughter. The past 7 months has been very unstable due to A binge drinkings during the week he is off work. He even drinks in camp, and has gone through numerous jobs. When he is at home...

missmeliss · missmeliss

pinkchip · pinkchip

Recovery really is a balancing act. Once I get something unhealthy out of my life, I have to watch out for new unhealthy behaviors and character defects arising. Okay, so I stopped drinking and ended a really toxic relationship with another A. For a long time I engaged in these self destructive beh...

aquamom23 · aquamom23

Well we woke up late today at 7 am and I was feeling quite nervous. I didn't rush through the morning. Went to court, my file wasn't there. But I discovered something interesting about myself. When it came down to advocating for myself and children an intellectual side came out utterly divorced of fear...

giraffe13 · giraffe13

I'm having some issues with my apartment, which has put me in a hotel b/c it is not safe to sleep there right now. I have stayed in 2 diff. hotels, whatever has been cheapest, and on a friends sofa one night. I am feeling beat by life. And this, is making me miss my Aexbf. Plus it is the holidays, and I am forced...

missmeliss · missmeliss

Daughter's graduation ceremony is tomorrow night. A while ago I promised her the works, a new dress, shoes etc but of course that was no longer possible and I was worried she would feel yukky next to her dressed up friends. But we've been scouring the op-shops, tonight we finally found great shoes, bel...

Truth · Truth

I stayed home from work today. My body is tired and needs sleep. On Monday, I phoned the police. My ex-A must be testing my boundaries and decided he could drop off some stuff at my house. A present for his son that he had the day before at his visit and did not give him. I kind of knew by his inflated ego respon...

mjferg · mjferg

Well I am battling with life again,that's me, ever ready for a crisis,I got very angry and upset about some things and had a panic attack.I saw my therapist today and she asked me if I have ever lived a crisis free life, or feeling like one was just around the corner, and I said I have no idea what that woul...

Luiza · Luiza

My Landlord called me today to give me 6 weeks notice. Apparently he needs to move back in. So this is it. The New Year will be new and fresh indeed. My life is changing so much and so quickly. I guess I have to keep trusting my HP. It is so weird how I am not feeling like I am at home anymore. Being here is gettin...

Newlife girl · Newlife girl

I am admitting I still have magical thinking regarding "fixing" my AH. I am worried about him. I can tell he is sleeping a lot...i know by the way he sounds on the phone. I am STILL thinking I can help him feel better. But I've tried for over 10 years to help him. He has to help himself now. why do I t...

Em D · Em D

Both my A husband and I started recovery about 8 months ago. Things have been so difficult since rehab. I guess I had an expectation that the hardest part was over. Trust has been an issue with me in recovery, and I've tried to be very open minded and honest about it. I know I was told several lies and was dec...

Jerry F · Jerry F

No I didn't know how to do it coming from inside of the disease. I didn't know how and was afraid to try. I was afraid so I didn't learn a lot of normal stuff. I learned how to grieve in the program of the Al-Anon Family Groups as I watched so many others grieve their losses and wonder "why do they do...

grateful2be · grateful2be

I read the obits in my hometown paper. Today, a grade school chum was named together with the day of his death. I thought about the other "boys" in my little grade school who have died before he did. I can remember what a wild and crazy bunch he hung with. I can remember that he could do wild a...

neshema2 · neshema2

I have this friend, hes a lovely young man, diabetic and now hes lost his 2nd leg just below the knee and i have been keeping up w/him....we were good friends when I was in CA...We rode our horses all over the place and would go for ice cream and he , at that long ago time, seemed to be "too attached"...

andromeda · andromeda

So, I realized I must be one of those crazy people who expect other people to reply to me within 24 hours. I know people are busy, I am too. Yet, if I reach out to someone; whether it be family, non program friends, or program friends, I would expect them to at least have the decency to reply. In this world...

Newlife girl · Newlife girl

There's a new book out with this title. It's about a celebrity from the 80's who had an alcoholic mother. It's amazing how much I relate to her story and how I acted in the same ways she did with my AH. I'm almost finished with the book. the codependency is so familiar. I feel like I know her personally becau...

Em D · Em D

I've struggled with the HP portion of the program. So I told myself to look for signs/coincidences. I started really paying attention to what song is on the radio when I leave my meeting and how it relates to what I'm feeling. I listen to the rock station which often is about pain, but its been a fun and int...

Helpangel · Helpangel

I need some advice about after your spouse leaves rehab what do u do? Do I let him move back in? Make him live elsewhere? i know we will need help and he is in the process of setting that all up. After 30 days clean how stable are they? Do I get a roommate to share my house and make him stay out at least a year? Any a...

aquamom23 · aquamom23

OK. I ended up having to engage a lawyer as I drew a dead end everywhere else. I randimly selected one and it was through a call center. I got a call back from a man, explained the situation. He calls me back in an hour the situation is resolved. Without leaving the house. I'm taking this as a very serious exp...

Flower49 · Flower49

My AH dropped by for his morning coffee today and tried to disturb my happiness, joy and peace by announcing that he knew last week that family was invited to attend his group home Christmas function this evening, but he decided I wouldn't want to go. I said nothing, he then went on to explain that he was j...

cloudyskies · cloudyskies

I'm not where I want to be yet, BUT thank God I'm not where I used to be. Just keep working it because it works when you work it.

missmeliss · missmeliss

I've got a yukky cold, which is no surprise as it has been making its way throughout this household. So I woke this morning to find it had really taken hold. Yay! Oh well, lol, whatever. Coughs and sneezes and chills, not the end of the world. Just a temporary irritation. I had 2 phone calls I needed to mak...

hope4ever · hope4ever

There is a lot of drama going on at work and others are trying to pull me into it. They are also talking badly about me to others. It is a triangle apparently. I have 2 people who talk my ear off about the drama and I really need to not get trapped in that. I try and be kind and listen but I end up feeling drained an...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

The kids and I went out tonight after my son's Christmas program and had a blast. I haven't laughed that hard for a long, long time. It was just silliness big time. We watched football on a few big screens ate dinner and did a little yelling at the tv .. it was fun to watch my son get into it all. He misses o...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

I have come such a very long way from where I was when I found al-anon. Next week is finals and while I am close to filing bankruptcy and all that fun stress that comes with it. I am studying for a test this coming Friday, Monday, Wednesday and last exam next Friday! Wow is the stress on and without my al-an...

Green Eyes · Green Eyes

My daughter and son-in-law invited me over to watch football today. She wanted me to know that her twin sister (also my daughter), who is an A, and whom I haven't had contact with in six months, would also be there. She told me not to ask questions of my AD and to just "go with the flow." And so I di...

serenity47 · serenity47

Hi all I read these messages frequently and find great wisdom in a lot of them and I am thankful for that. I am seeking some ESH with the following thoughts I am struggling with. My AD whom has stolen from us, lied repeatedly, made up all kinds of outlandish stories and I believe stole from other peop...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Just have to share the spiritual magic with my MIP family. This morning was the return of a old program celebration which was interrupted by "Nazies" Nazies are book thumpers...black and white only no fluff or it isn't program. This is my other side of my program...I am a double and m...

aquamom23 · aquamom23

OK. Now the police are not adding a provision. In effect this means no contact at all. Yay justice is served all will be well, honour women and children. Except for me in this situation it actually enforces powerlessness. I have managed to save a little bit. I have enrolled in a course which will lead to e...

jillybean1 · jillybean1

Hey gang, I been busy lately but things going pretty well for the RAH and me and the kids. til yesterday................ RAH had to have hernia surgery and of course pain meds because it was a pretty big repair. When he first told me that the doctor was giving him Percocet I was like a bull with a red cape...

mjferg · mjferg

I took a big risk when I decided to end my relationship with my A,I wasn't ready financially but I believed if I had stayed it wouldn't matter anyway,I would be in such bad shape emotionally I don't know if I could have endured much longer.My son came over the other day and offered help with my Christmas...

Holly09 · Holly09

My ABF stopped drinking 4 years ago but his behaviors which have continued to be there seem to be getting much worse mostly with me. For many years before he quit I had boundaries with the way he speaks to me which was usually only when he had been drinking. Now he seems to be speaking to me that way quiet o...

Theoceancalls · Theoceancalls

This has been one of those weeks that just needs to end. It keeps getting worse each day. . The tension in our home is beyond suffocating. We all walk on eggshells trying to avoid upsetting the ah yet hes still upset. Nothing we do or say is "right". Never do we just move on. Little things get thr...

missmeliss · missmeliss

People here often make mention of the fact that when you start to have boundaries and defend them, people push back, and hard. And change tactics... Well I did expect this and I have figured the only way to really grow and continue on a road to serenity is to limit my contact with people that are used to pus...

deacon · deacon

Yesterday my sister asked her alcoholic husband to leave because he is taking rent and grocery money for alcohol. She works, he sits and watches tv all day. He responded that he does not drink any more than any one else. I witnessed him when he went one day without drinking so he could 'fool' the doctor he...

neshema2 · neshema2

I heard a saying.....Don't ever give up on something or someone that you can't go a full day without thinking about. ******************************* I have to FIRST think----is this an unhealthy attachment/obsession on my part or is it really my HP prompting me to pursue for my own good???...the s...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

Wellll .. interesting weekend .. kids found out Saturday after not seeing their dad for 8 weeks I think its been that he's getting married the 2nd weekend of January. Going to be interesting is putting it mildly .. they picked a non visitation weekend first off and the kids haven't met her yet nor did th...

aquamom23 · aquamom23

I opened the door at 1 am to a drunk and having done my inventory was able to say not a word just went back to bed. He wakes up our toddler proceeds to fall asleep with her while he is lying there with no underwear completely wasted. I grab the baby he gets violent threatens our son torments me. Screaming for h...

Newlife girl · Newlife girl

As my AH sits in our home, not paying mortgage since June, I still wonder if he feels lonely. He has been saying passive aggressive things to me that hurt my feelings and then I feel guilty about leaving, and guilty about his dog being sad when we leave the house. He isn't clear about anything...getting a...

Newlife girl · Newlife girl

Since AH hasn't agreed to sell the house, it's too late now to even try...even though he said he would sell it now. The bank needs a lot of information from us if we tried to sell it now. I looked up the impact on credit score for short sale vs foreclosure, and it's about the same. Only difference is you can b...

el-cee · el-cee

Cant live with her own son because it looks like hes an alcoholic? Cant face the full story.x -- Edited by el-cee on Friday 12th of December 2014 09:12:30 PM

likemyheart · likemyheart

This morning while doing dishes, yes I am an AM dish washer, don't know exactly why, don't care exactly why, I just like doing them in the quiet morning. Anyway - I was singing quietly to myself my oldest favorite Christmas song and thinking (yes, thinking comes with singing) about all the great Christ...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

bud · bud

"Well you'll have to wait and we'll discuss this next week!" ""NO." "No I won't wait!!!" Sheesh! There it is- I thought I had a voice!!!! Dear family, he who cares less wins; although this is much more than that. I finally care about me more and it's time to tak...

Jordan · Jordan

This is my first post on here, so forgive me if it's lengthy. I am having issues with my husband and his drinking. Which is weird for me to say because it used to actually be WAY worse. But through years of us talking and trying to work on it, he has gotten a lot better. But when he does drink, he always takes it...

EdwinaGrace · EdwinaGrace

Hello, This is the first time i've been on this forum. My 41 year old son has tried to commit suicide and i don't know what to do. I'm so scared of saying or doing the wrong thing. He's been sober for the last 2 years, but hasn't really changed anything else in his life, he's just stopped drinking, but his beh...

hotrod · hotrod

Holding warm, positive thoughts of you both today Let us know how you are doing. "God Grant me Serenity "

andromeda · andromeda

Since my AH has started doing the bills and inspecting the checking account with a fine tooth comb, he's come down on me hard and on my spending. I tried to point out that he's had access to all the accounts all this time but instead blamed me just because I was in charge. Now, what really ticks me off is th...

Green Eyes · Green Eyes

I feel so blessed tonight. After years of Hell and dysfunction, in both my personal and career life, I feel like I'm finally moving towards where my HP feels I should be. I left my current, and crazy, job today and I start my new job on Monday- and my new boss is awesome (so far!)!!! Very thankful right now...

zebrafish · zebrafish

So now my s/o is having bad stomach pains. We've been going through this with every hypertension med. Each one works for a while, then he gets bad stomach pains, and he has to find something else. It was noticeable enough yesterday morning that the people at court noticed, passed the word around, an...

Cooper · Cooper

I feel as if I have lost my love for my 21 year old son due to his drug an alcohol use, and that surprises me because I have always felt my power to love was greater than most, yet here I am. I try to be the supportive dad but I am at the point where I just don't like him very much. It makes me feel like such a failu...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	'Constitutionally incapable of being honest with themselves'....What does it mean? (Preview) A question for the double winners. My husband has been in AA for almost 12 months. I've been in Al-Anon for 10 months. Exactly what does 'constitutionally incapable of being honest with themselves' mean? Does it apply to Al-Anon? I overhead a conversation between my husband and what I took to be a...	ymvv2000	14	5405	Dec 19, 2014 by Hoot Nanny
	Can you spot an A? (Preview) My sponsor says she can spot an A but I don't think I have the ability to do this unless I see them drinking! It makes me wonder about my doctor, dentist, and lawyer people who I trust their wisdom and advice? Maybe I need to be more discernment.. What wouldI look for? Heck the only time I know for sure is...	hopes314	16	837	Dec 19, 2014 by Luiza
	here we go again . . . introduction . . . (Preview) hello all: i find myself here after 15 years of active alanon. raised my kids. one of them is now alcoholic and acting out. i only know the tip of the iceberg, thankfully. she is raising my teen grandson. i worry for him. the entire family is affected (of course). she has rage and entitlement issues, narc...	ohno	22	1808	Dec 19, 2014 by ohno
	Happiness is being a Nana (Preview) Tonight, I went to my grandson's high school holiday concert. I listened to the strings, 3 choirs and then his symphonic band. I watched my 15 year old, sophomore grandson file in with his classmates, sporting the new tie he'd talked his Mom into buying. I saw him find his seat with his baritone be...	grateful2be	16	641	Dec 19, 2014 by PP
	grief (Preview) Hate crying. Just hate it. Was told years ago that grief is sometimes mourning for the loss of an ideal. Its really very late here but I can't sleep yet. I'll pay for that tomorrow. All alone in a big city the week before xmas its my babies first Christmas our first with three kids. And were going to be alone...	aquamom23	21	694	Dec 19, 2014 by Em D
	amazing day! (Preview) I spent the day with my youngest son,we delivered gifts to the nursing home,both of my parents are there.My father was an alcoholic and a very angry man,we have never been close.I sat by my mother's bed and watched her,she has dementia,I always cry when I see her.My father came over to me and hugged me ti...	mjferg	7	374	Dec 19, 2014 by Em D
	Step 10 Step Board (Preview) http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t59246554/alanon-step-10-12-2014/	hotrod	1	2344	Dec 19, 2014 by grateful2be
	A Little Re-Introduction (Preview) I posted here five year's ago about my alcoholic daughter. I was able to let go of her and her alcoholism for the most part, but in the meantime, my grandson, now age 21 is in dire straights. We found out he was alcoholic when he was 18, sent him to rehab - since then he has been in an SLE, in jail, "okay&q...	ohno	19	480	Dec 19, 2014 by ohno
	AH OUT OF HOSPITAL/HOME FOR HOLIDAYS (Preview) 2wks ago,ah went on drinking binge for 4 days. he skipped work and then threw up so much that he had to be hospitalized for dehydration,hbp and vitamin depletion. he really suffered physically with stomach pains,weakness and tremors. again he made that useless promise that it was so bad,he was goin...	YARNCRAZY	3	482	Dec 18, 2014 by grateful2be
	made changes (Preview) I have been with alcoholic for 7 months, he works in camp for 2 weeks at time and home for a week. I have my own apartment with daughter. The past 7 months has been very unstable due to A binge drinkings during the week he is off work. He even drinks in camp, and has gone through numerous jobs. When he is at home...	joker	5	571	Dec 18, 2014 by aquamom23
	Photo Time!!!! (Preview)	missmeliss	24	792	Dec 18, 2014 by Luiza
	Family of Origin Issues ( 1 2 ) (Preview) Recovery really is a balancing act. Once I get something unhealthy out of my life, I have to watch out for new unhealthy behaviors and character defects arising. Okay, so I stopped drinking and ended a really toxic relationship with another A. For a long time I engaged in these self destructive beh...	pinkchip	58	1876	Dec 18, 2014 by el-cee
	freedom (Preview) Well we woke up late today at 7 am and I was feeling quite nervous. I didn't rush through the morning. Went to court, my file wasn't there. But I discovered something interesting about myself. When it came down to advocating for myself and children an intellectual side came out utterly divorced of fear...	aquamom23	12	544	Dec 18, 2014 by el-cee
	missing the alcoholic (Preview) I'm having some issues with my apartment, which has put me in a hotel b/c it is not safe to sleep there right now. I have stayed in 2 diff. hotels, whatever has been cheapest, and on a friends sofa one night. I am feeling beat by life. And this, is making me miss my Aexbf. Plus it is the holidays, and I am forced...	giraffe13	6	747	Dec 18, 2014 by pinkchip
	Something to smile about (Preview) Daughter's graduation ceremony is tomorrow night. A while ago I promised her the works, a new dress, shoes etc but of course that was no longer possible and I was worried she would feel yukky next to her dressed up friends. But we've been scouring the op-shops, tonight we finally found great shoes, bel...	missmeliss	22	829	Dec 18, 2014 by Luiza
	My body is tired.. (Preview) I stayed home from work today. My body is tired and needs sleep. On Monday, I phoned the police. My ex-A must be testing my boundaries and decided he could drop off some stuff at my house. A present for his son that he had the day before at his visit and did not give him. I kind of knew by his inflated ego respon...	Truth	4	305	Dec 18, 2014 by PP
	maybe surrender? (Preview) Well I am battling with life again,that's me, ever ready for a crisis,I got very angry and upset about some things and had a panic attack.I saw my therapist today and she asked me if I have ever lived a crisis free life, or feeling like one was just around the corner, and I said I have no idea what that woul...	mjferg	3	463	Dec 17, 2014 by grateful2be
	Packing will keep me busy over the holidays. (Preview) My Landlord called me today to give me 6 weeks notice. Apparently he needs to move back in. So this is it. The New Year will be new and fresh indeed. My life is changing so much and so quickly. I guess I have to keep trusting my HP. It is so weird how I am not feeling like I am at home anymore. Being here is gettin...	Luiza	19	618	Dec 17, 2014 by grateful2be
	My magical thinking=anxiety (Preview) I am admitting I still have magical thinking regarding "fixing" my AH. I am worried about him. I can tell he is sleeping a lot...i know by the way he sounds on the phone. I am STILL thinking I can help him feel better. But I've tried for over 10 years to help him. He has to help himself now. why do I t...	Newlife girl	20	857	Dec 17, 2014 by grateful2be
	Trust shattered (Preview) Both my A husband and I started recovery about 8 months ago. Things have been so difficult since rehab. I guess I had an expectation that the hardest part was over. Trust has been an issue with me in recovery, and I've tried to be very open minded and honest about it. I know I was told several lies and was dec...	Em D	21	739	Dec 17, 2014 by Em D
	Grieving alcohol not mentioned. (Preview) No I didn't know how to do it coming from inside of the disease. I didn't know how and was afraid to try. I was afraid so I didn't learn a lot of normal stuff. I learned how to grieve in the program of the Al-Anon Family Groups as I watched so many others grieve their losses and wonder "why do they do...	Jerry F	3	453	Dec 16, 2014 by hotrod
	Who knew? (Preview) I read the obits in my hometown paper. Today, a grade school chum was named together with the day of his death. I thought about the other "boys" in my little grade school who have died before he did. I can remember what a wild and crazy bunch he hung with. I can remember that he could do wild a...	grateful2be	14	604	Dec 16, 2014 by neshema2
	got hit w/a bomshell, still SMH!!!! (Preview) I have this friend, hes a lovely young man, diabetic and now hes lost his 2nd leg just below the knee and i have been keeping up w/him....we were good friends when I was in CA...We rode our horses all over the place and would go for ice cream and he , at that long ago time, seemed to be "too attached"...	neshema2	17	734	Dec 16, 2014 by neshema2
	Open conversation about expectations in friendships (Preview) So, I realized I must be one of those crazy people who expect other people to reply to me within 24 hours. I know people are busy, I am too. Yet, if I reach out to someone; whether it be family, non program friends, or program friends, I would expect them to at least have the decency to reply. In this world...	andromeda	16	601	Dec 16, 2014 by Newlife girl
	There Was A Little Girl (Preview) There's a new book out with this title. It's about a celebrity from the 80's who had an alcoholic mother. It's amazing how much I relate to her story and how I acted in the same ways she did with my AH. I'm almost finished with the book. the codependency is so familiar. I feel like I know her personally becau...	Newlife girl	1	267	Dec 16, 2014 by Debilyn
	A Little Game I Play (Preview) I've struggled with the HP portion of the program. So I told myself to look for signs/coincidences. I started really paying attention to what song is on the radio when I leave my meeting and how it relates to what I'm feeling. I listen to the rock station which often is about pain, but its been a fun and int...	Em D	1	471	Dec 16, 2014 by PP
	After rehab.. Then what?? (Preview) I need some advice about after your spouse leaves rehab what do u do? Do I let him move back in? Make him live elsewhere? i know we will need help and he is in the process of setting that all up. After 30 days clean how stable are they? Do I get a roommate to share my house and make him stay out at least a year? Any a...	Helpangel	6	1021	Dec 16, 2014 by Em D
	feeling relieved (Preview) OK. I ended up having to engage a lawyer as I drew a dead end everywhere else. I randimly selected one and it was through a call center. I got a call back from a man, explained the situation. He calls me back in an hour the situation is resolved. Without leaving the house. I'm taking this as a very serious exp...	aquamom23	16	512	Dec 16, 2014 by grateful2be
	Christmas Party....deceit and manipulation (Preview) My AH dropped by for his morning coffee today and tried to disturb my happiness, joy and peace by announcing that he knew last week that family was invited to attend his group home Christmas function this evening, but he decided I wouldn't want to go. I said nothing, he then went on to explain that he was j...	Flower49	20	835	Dec 15, 2014 by giraffe13
	Ok... (Preview) I'm not where I want to be yet, BUT thank God I'm not where I used to be. Just keep working it because it works when you work it.	cloudyskies	6	466	Dec 15, 2014 by hotrod
	Gotta laugh. (Preview) I've got a yukky cold, which is no surprise as it has been making its way throughout this household. So I woke this morning to find it had really taken hold. Yay! Oh well, lol, whatever. Coughs and sneezes and chills, not the end of the world. Just a temporary irritation. I had 2 phone calls I needed to mak...	missmeliss	6	433	Dec 15, 2014 by bud
	Work drama? How to handle it? (Preview) There is a lot of drama going on at work and others are trying to pull me into it. They are also talking badly about me to others. It is a triangle apparently. I have 2 people who talk my ear off about the drama and I really need to not get trapped in that. I try and be kind and listen but I end up feeling drained an...	hope4ever	9	615	Dec 15, 2014 by bud
	Fun night :) (Preview) The kids and I went out tonight after my son's Christmas program and had a blast. I haven't laughed that hard for a long, long time. It was just silliness big time. We watched football on a few big screens ate dinner and did a little yelling at the tv .. it was fun to watch my son get into it all. He misses o...	SerenityRUS	6	807	Dec 15, 2014 by Luiza
	Overwhelmed~ Thank God for Al-anon! (Preview) I have come such a very long way from where I was when I found al-anon. Next week is finals and while I am close to filing bankruptcy and all that fun stress that comes with it. I am studying for a test this coming Friday, Monday, Wednesday and last exam next Friday! Wow is the stress on and without my al-an...	Breakingfree	12	883	Dec 15, 2014 by Newlife girl
	Hung out with my AD- it's been six months (Preview) My daughter and son-in-law invited me over to watch football today. She wanted me to know that her twin sister (also my daughter), who is an A, and whom I haven't had contact with in six months, would also be there. She told me not to ask questions of my AD and to just "go with the flow." And so I di...	Green Eyes	6	630	Dec 15, 2014 by el-cee
	Detachment or Avoidance (Preview) Hi all I read these messages frequently and find great wisdom in a lot of them and I am thankful for that. I am seeking some ESH with the following thoughts I am struggling with. My AD whom has stolen from us, lied repeatedly, made up all kinds of outlandish stories and I believe stole from other peop...	serenity47	15	976	Dec 15, 2014 by el-cee
	No Doubt...not ever. (Preview) Just have to share the spiritual magic with my MIP family. This morning was the return of a old program celebration which was interrupted by "Nazies" Nazies are book thumpers...black and white only no fluff or it isn't program. This is my other side of my program...I am a double and m...	Jerry F	9	826	Dec 15, 2014 by Jill
	feeling strung out. (Preview) OK. Now the police are not adding a provision. In effect this means no contact at all. Yay justice is served all will be well, honour women and children. Except for me in this situation it actually enforces powerlessness. I have managed to save a little bit. I have enrolled in a course which will lead to e...	aquamom23	10	668	Dec 14, 2014 by Jerry F
	was this a bad plan? (Preview) Hey gang, I been busy lately but things going pretty well for the RAH and me and the kids. til yesterday................ RAH had to have hernia surgery and of course pain meds because it was a pretty big repair. When he first told me that the doctor was giving him Percocet I was like a bull with a red cape...	jillybean1	7	669	Dec 14, 2014 by grateful2be
	God finds a way (Preview) I took a big risk when I decided to end my relationship with my A,I wasn't ready financially but I believed if I had stayed it wouldn't matter anyway,I would be in such bad shape emotionally I don't know if I could have endured much longer.My son came over the other day and offered help with my Christmas...	mjferg	10	615	Dec 14, 2014 by glad
	When the alcohol is gone but the behaviors are still there (Preview) My ABF stopped drinking 4 years ago but his behaviors which have continued to be there seem to be getting much worse mostly with me. For many years before he quit I had boundaries with the way he speaks to me which was usually only when he had been drinking. Now he seems to be speaking to me that way quiet o...	Holly09	8	677	Dec 14, 2014 by Jerry F
	bad marriage, alcoholic marriage or all of the above (Preview) This has been one of those weeks that just needs to end. It keeps getting worse each day. . The tension in our home is beyond suffocating. We all walk on eggshells trying to avoid upsetting the ah yet hes still upset. Nothing we do or say is "right". Never do we just move on. Little things get thr...	Theoceancalls	3	504	Dec 14, 2014 by grateful2be
	maybe I won without meaning to. Should I feel guilty? (Preview) People here often make mention of the fact that when you start to have boundaries and defend them, people push back, and hard. And change tactics... Well I did expect this and I have figured the only way to really grow and continue on a road to serenity is to limit my contact with people that are used to pus...	missmeliss	17	882	Dec 14, 2014 by hotrod
	I think I must be a misfit in this world (Preview) Yesterday my sister asked her alcoholic husband to leave because he is taking rent and grocery money for alcohol. She works, he sits and watches tv all day. He responded that he does not drink any more than any one else. I witnessed him when he went one day without drinking so he could 'fool' the doctor he...	deacon	11	832	Dec 14, 2014 by Newlife girl
	STOP and THINK (Preview) I heard a saying.....Don't ever give up on something or someone that you can't go a full day without thinking about. ******************************* I have to FIRST think----is this an unhealthy attachment/obsession on my part or is it really my HP prompting me to pursue for my own good???...the s...	neshema2	2	369	Dec 14, 2014 by el-cee
	Big News .. LOL! (Preview) Wellll .. interesting weekend .. kids found out Saturday after not seeing their dad for 8 weeks I think its been that he's getting married the 2nd weekend of January. Going to be interesting is putting it mildly .. they picked a non visitation weekend first off and the kids haven't met her yet nor did th...	SerenityRUS	22	1025	Dec 14, 2014 by SerenityRUS
	waiting for the police. this is how women get killed. (Preview) I opened the door at 1 am to a drunk and having done my inventory was able to say not a word just went back to bed. He wakes up our toddler proceeds to fall asleep with her while he is lying there with no underwear completely wasted. I grab the baby he gets violent threatens our son torments me. Screaming for h...	aquamom23	23	689	Dec 14, 2014 by Jerry F
	I care too much (Preview) As my AH sits in our home, not paying mortgage since June, I still wonder if he feels lonely. He has been saying passive aggressive things to me that hurt my feelings and then I feel guilty about leaving, and guilty about his dog being sad when we leave the house. He isn't clear about anything...getting a...	Newlife girl	8	798	Dec 13, 2014 by Newlife girl
	Foreclosure is coming...an update (Preview) Since AH hasn't agreed to sell the house, it's too late now to even try...even though he said he would sell it now. The bank needs a lot of information from us if we tried to sell it now. I looked up the impact on credit score for short sale vs foreclosure, and it's about the same. Only difference is you can b...	Newlife girl	15	692	Dec 13, 2014 by Newlife girl
	what kind of mother... (Preview) Cant live with her own son because it looks like hes an alcoholic? Cant face the full story.x -- Edited by el-cee on Friday 12th of December 2014 09:12:30 PM	el-cee	24	862	Dec 13, 2014 by Debilyn
	Christmas Music (Preview) This morning while doing dishes, yes I am an AM dish washer, don't know exactly why, don't care exactly why, I just like doing them in the quiet morning. Anyway - I was singing quietly to myself my oldest favorite Christmas song and thinking (yes, thinking comes with singing) about all the great Christ...	likemyheart	10	901	Dec 13, 2014 by Breakingfree
	Keep looking at the trees (Preview)	Cathyinaz	10	832	Dec 13, 2014 by Breakingfree
	NO I won't wait! (Preview) "Well you'll have to wait and we'll discuss this next week!" ""NO." "No I won't wait!!!" Sheesh! There it is- I thought I had a voice!!!! Dear family, he who cares less wins; although this is much more than that. I finally care about me more and it's time to tak...	bud	20	693	Dec 13, 2014 by grateful2be
	Is it my problem or his? (Preview) This is my first post on here, so forgive me if it's lengthy. I am having issues with my husband and his drinking. Which is weird for me to say because it used to actually be WAY worse. But through years of us talking and trying to work on it, he has gotten a lot better. But when he does drink, he always takes it...	Jordan	6	679	Dec 13, 2014 by SerenityRUS
	My son has tried to commit suicide. (Preview) Hello, This is the first time i've been on this forum. My 41 year old son has tried to commit suicide and i don't know what to do. I'm so scared of saying or doing the wrong thing. He's been sober for the last 2 years, but hasn't really changed anything else in his life, he's just stopped drinking, but his beh...	EdwinaGrace	8	877	Dec 13, 2014 by EdwinaGrace
	Aquamom and LC (Preview) Holding warm, positive thoughts of you both today Let us know how you are doing. "God Grant me Serenity "	hotrod	6	430	Dec 13, 2014 by aquamom23
	Financial bind (Preview) Since my AH has started doing the bills and inspecting the checking account with a fine tooth comb, he's come down on me hard and on my spending. I tried to point out that he's had access to all the accounts all this time but instead blamed me just because I was in charge. Now, what really ticks me off is th...	andromeda	10	663	Dec 13, 2014 by andromeda
	My New Job Starts on Monday! (Preview) I feel so blessed tonight. After years of Hell and dysfunction, in both my personal and career life, I feel like I'm finally moving towards where my HP feels I should be. I left my current, and crazy, job today and I start my new job on Monday- and my new boss is awesome (so far!)!!! Very thankful right now...	Green Eyes	6	499	Dec 12, 2014 by hotrod
	What about therapy for depression? (Preview) So now my s/o is having bad stomach pains. We've been going through this with every hypertension med. Each one works for a while, then he gets bad stomach pains, and he has to find something else. It was noticeable enough yesterday morning that the people at court noticed, passed the word around, an...	zebrafish	14	820	Dec 12, 2014 by Jerry F
	Falling out of love with an addict (Preview) I feel as if I have lost my love for my 21 year old son due to his drug an alcohol use, and that surprises me because I have always felt my power to love was greater than most, yet here I am. I try to be the supportive dad but I am at the point where I just don't like him very much. It makes me feel like such a failu...	Cooper	15	858	Dec 12, 2014 by neshema2
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.