Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

ohno · ohno

Emotional detachment . . . when you love an alcoholic and it is not in a voluntary relationship, but is family - in other words you can't divorce them or break up with them and "get rid of them," it can be difficult to detach emotionally when you are aware of anything negative occurring in thei...

joker · joker

I am so angry at myself for going to see the Alcoholic. I told him in text message I had enough and I really believed I was done. He kept calling me and I gave in and went and seen him and spend 2 nights with him. I heard all the I am going to change, I am going to get help, all lies, lies. After being on a binge for 4 d...

Newlife girl · Newlife girl

Hello everyone! My trip with my girls went pretty well. My oldest daughter and I got into an argument....but we were ok the next day. We have some issues to work on. Anyhow, while we were gone, I know my AH started drinking again and was in bed the whole time. You may wonder how I know...I just know. I know h...

Athena1976 · Athena1976

I have been with my fiance for nearly twelve years now. He had always been a heavy drinker but I noticed his drinking really spiraled out of control about 7 years ago after his DUI. About two or three years later his mom was diagnosed with terminal cancer and shortly after began my fiance's first bout wit...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Here I sit wondering...What is gonna be like when my mom returns from the state hospital later today? I am hoping for a nice greeting & maybe even a hug. I haven't seen her since August & she is returning back to CA tomorrow. I just really want her to be happy. I really do. I even will sacrifice some...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

Thank God for this program I am seriously amazing myself with what I am capable of. I just finished the LPN (licensed practical nurse) portion of my (ADN) registered nursing degree today. I have exactly one year left to go and am so happy with how things are working out right now. I can't believe I have be...

1stLoveLastLove · 1stLoveLastLove

In July 2014 my fiancée died as a result of his alcoholism. He was hospitalized for exactly 2 months. He was in liver failure. Steve & I had been high school sweethearts. We dated for 8 yrs, through college. I was the first girl he ever loved. I was the first girl he ever made love to. We grew apar...

aquamom23 · aquamom23

My husband has said he wants to they inpatient rehab. He thinks he is too weak to do aa again as a free person. Is this a new trick? His reason he says is our family. Particularly daddies girl, who truly is very attached to both of us and her family in general. I'm too raw to know how to respond to this. Though...

robinfl · robinfl

I'm codependent. I've been to several meetings and listen to several podcast and reading the literature. I'm understanding the importance of one day at a time. I know I will never change him. I'm taking advice to not make any decisions now and just work on me but I believe we will be splitting up afte...

el-cee · el-cee

Its a new thing to me, looking after myself properly. When i pay attention and do it right its more than just the basics. Good personal hygiene, eating well, avoiding foods that are bad for me, exercising. Its the little things that tell me im working it or not. Like doing my hair and make up everyday reg...

Truth · Truth

I got an e-mail from the ex-A today. I am hurting him and our son .... Blah, blah, blah .....I read it and thought for the first time ... This is so not my issue. It is not my job to smooth this over "for my son". My job is to get some rest and be the best version of myself I can be. I use to feel crazy...

son74 · son74

Hello Everyone, I am very happy to have found this forum; I am living with an alcoholic spouse and it's finally beginning to take a toll on me. I am mentally exhausted, and of course physically as well. It's been a battle, and I've been doing research into how to really help; however, I know that I sometim...

Holly111 · Holly111

Hi everyone and thanks for access to a group I feel I will learn alot from. I am a 40yo single woman feeling anxious about going home for Christmas to my alcoholic father. He explodes with rage about small things and is verbally abusive to my Mum intermittently whenever I visit them together or they visi...

Helpangel · Helpangel

Hi all and happy holiday. My AH gets out of rehab the 27th of this month. I am doing a lot if soul searching and to be honest I am not sure how to deal with our families while my ah and I try and figure out how and if we stay together. What I didn't realize is how our parents are so against us getting back together....

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

So while I was studying my heart out for that last final and freaking out about my boyfriends ex-wife stopping by with their 11 year old, my exAH started texting kind of late when we were headed to bed. My girls are headed up by him tomorrow for Christmas, the 3 of us all are now all on break from school, I hop...

Debilyn · Debilyn

sucker sign was on. creator put me in their path. people had twins with serious health problems.....sooooo here are da boys. Leonard and Reegan Nothing makes me feel better than doing a rescue, that and being kissed...... -- Edited by Debilyn on Saturday 20th of December 2014 05:35:12 PM

Inundated · Inundated

I'm not sure, as I sit here, what exactly I am hoping to gain by typing this out. I don't know that anyone can advise me on an effective solution or soothe me with words of wisdom. My earliest memories as a child are of my father or about my father and his being drunk, violent, out of control, or all of the abov...

Lucers73 · Lucers73

not sure how this works, so I'm trying

My friend told me about you as I'm struggling at the moment. I have ME & pretty much housebound so unable to go to meetings. My husband is an alcoholic but is still in denial. Currently he drinks 3 bottles of wine & a bottle of vodka a night, tho tells me he st...

missmeliss · missmeliss

It was time to take daughter to her dads yesterday, and once again I arranged with A to come and drive with me as I thought (erroneously) that I was not ready to do the big drive by myself and needed help. No, I didn't particularly want to see him if that's how it sounds, I just still feel very fearful of dri...

sookie · sookie

Well, yesterday we signed a settlement agreement and I will be able to file divorce papers later this week (uncontested divorce--I did ALL the paperwork myself). I am feeling so many mixed emotions--it is not easy to describe. The hardest part of this has been feeling the AH's anger towards me. I fee...

MaxGleam · MaxGleam

I'm busy and can't really go out to meetings, but I feel like having community support will help me get through the holidays. The holidays are always hard. I feel so helpless and was hoping that by reaching out here, I might be able to convert these feelings into something else or at least shift my perspe...

joker · joker

I have read what has been shared on my last topic and it makes so much sense. I have been doing the 4th step al-anon inventory and this morning I wrote 17 pages in my journal. I see my pattern of being with alcoholic men and what its doing to me. I am the one that falls apart and needs help, yet the Alcoholic jus...

Sapphronia · Sapphronia

Hi I am Marva. I am new to the board and have a passing familiarity with Alanon. I've referred many to it. I live in a rural area with no meetings and I need help. I am involved with a man who is sober 30+ years with no program and no peaceful sobriety. He might as well still be drunk the way I react to him. I reall...

grateful2be · grateful2be

Dorothy Day has been quoted as saying she believed that beauty will save us. I don't know if that is true or not. I do know that today I went to a Christmas tea with women in my aqua yoga class and other women who are in a morning water exercise class with the yoga and exercise instructor. The table was lad...

NEP · NEP

I would just like to introduce myself. My name is Nick, I am 27 years old. I am the son of a functioning alchoholic, and the mother of my children is an alchoholic as well. I have just recently found out about Al-Anon, and I plan on attending my first meeting tomorrow night. I think this can really be a usefu...

grateful2be · grateful2be

Is anybody else noticing two white boxes at the top of this screen advertising ways to manage our advertising and forums for our website? Irritating.

ohno · ohno

I went to see my spiritual counselor yesterday and she told me to think of myself as a Monk, at the moment - basically to take care of myself and do my inner work. I really like this image and it is already helping me. I have been "praying without ceasing" when worry shows up and when I wake up in th...

el-cee · el-cee

Im a grateful member of alanon, real life and virtual. I joined this family, here on line 2 years ago this week. Ive learned a lot, feel like ive made friends, probably annoyed some folks sometimes but hey thats none of my business thankfully. Lol. Feel like ive grown. Im almost 3 yrs old, im growing up fa...

John · John

Hi Everyone, While I am sure I could go into a rant about a few things going on in my life, I have to refrain simply because I set the stage for much of it to unfold. Surrender and Acceptance has been my strong hold this past few months. Okay, The good stuff first. I finally quite smoking!! No patches, e-...

Newlife girl · Newlife girl

Today is not going well emotionally for me. I am asking for online hugs. I find myself mourning the end of my first marriage. when my first husband left me for another woman, I surely thought I would die. Along came AH to the rescue 7 months later! Obviously, I was on the rebound and this marriage didn't wo...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

I have my last final tomorrow so I am staying at his house, because he is 45 minutes closer to school and his house is quiet. I do it about once a month and it's usually peaceful and nice. Tonight his ex-wife that has wanted to meet me the last 9 months did a drop in with their 11 year old and it was awkward and le...

ohno · ohno

Just wondering about your experiences with your HP helping you. What specifically has your HP done for you? I believe in God, angels, saints, guides, you-name-it . . . and I feel I have been healed of some traumas, comforted in bad times, etc., but when I pray for my grandson and when he prays for himself...

ymvv2000 · ymvv2000

A question for the double winners. My husband has been in AA for almost 12 months. I've been in Al-Anon for 10 months. Exactly what does 'constitutionally incapable of being honest with themselves' mean? Does it apply to Al-Anon? I overhead a conversation between my husband and what I took to be a...

hopes314 · hopes314

My sponsor says she can spot an A but I don't think I have the ability to do this unless I see them drinking! It makes me wonder about my doctor, dentist, and lawyer people who I trust their wisdom and advice? Maybe I need to be more discernment.. What wouldI look for? Heck the only time I know for sure is...

ohno · ohno

hello all: i find myself here after 15 years of active alanon. raised my kids. one of them is now alcoholic and acting out. i only know the tip of the iceberg, thankfully. she is raising my teen grandson. i worry for him. the entire family is affected (of course). she has rage and entitlement issues, narc...

grateful2be · grateful2be

Tonight, I went to my grandson's high school holiday concert. I listened to the strings, 3 choirs and then his symphonic band. I watched my 15 year old, sophomore grandson file in with his classmates, sporting the new tie he'd talked his Mom into buying. I saw him find his seat with his baritone be...

aquamom23 · aquamom23

Hate crying. Just hate it. Was told years ago that grief is sometimes mourning for the loss of an ideal. Its really very late here but I can't sleep yet. I'll pay for that tomorrow. All alone in a big city the week before xmas its my babies first Christmas our first with three kids. And were going to be alone...

mjferg · mjferg

I spent the day with my youngest son,we delivered gifts to the nursing home,both of my parents are there.My father was an alcoholic and a very angry man,we have never been close.I sat by my mother's bed and watched her,she has dementia,I always cry when I see her.My father came over to me and hugged me ti...

hotrod · hotrod

http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t59246554/alanon-step-10-12-2014/

ohno · ohno

I posted here five year's ago about my alcoholic daughter. I was able to let go of her and her alcoholism for the most part, but in the meantime, my grandson, now age 21 is in dire straights. We found out he was alcoholic when he was 18, sent him to rehab - since then he has been in an SLE, in jail, "okay&q...

YARNCRAZY · YARNCRAZY

2wks ago,ah went on drinking binge for 4 days. he skipped work and then threw up so much that he had to be hospitalized for dehydration,hbp and vitamin depletion. he really suffered physically with stomach pains,weakness and tremors. again he made that useless promise that it was so bad,he was goin...

joker · joker

I have been with alcoholic for 7 months, he works in camp for 2 weeks at time and home for a week. I have my own apartment with daughter. The past 7 months has been very unstable due to A binge drinkings during the week he is off work. He even drinks in camp, and has gone through numerous jobs. When he is at home...

missmeliss · missmeliss

pinkchip · pinkchip

Recovery really is a balancing act. Once I get something unhealthy out of my life, I have to watch out for new unhealthy behaviors and character defects arising. Okay, so I stopped drinking and ended a really toxic relationship with another A. For a long time I engaged in these self destructive beh...

aquamom23 · aquamom23

Well we woke up late today at 7 am and I was feeling quite nervous. I didn't rush through the morning. Went to court, my file wasn't there. But I discovered something interesting about myself. When it came down to advocating for myself and children an intellectual side came out utterly divorced of fear...

giraffe13 · giraffe13

I'm having some issues with my apartment, which has put me in a hotel b/c it is not safe to sleep there right now. I have stayed in 2 diff. hotels, whatever has been cheapest, and on a friends sofa one night. I am feeling beat by life. And this, is making me miss my Aexbf. Plus it is the holidays, and I am forced...

missmeliss · missmeliss

Daughter's graduation ceremony is tomorrow night. A while ago I promised her the works, a new dress, shoes etc but of course that was no longer possible and I was worried she would feel yukky next to her dressed up friends. But we've been scouring the op-shops, tonight we finally found great shoes, bel...

Truth · Truth

I stayed home from work today. My body is tired and needs sleep. On Monday, I phoned the police. My ex-A must be testing my boundaries and decided he could drop off some stuff at my house. A present for his son that he had the day before at his visit and did not give him. I kind of knew by his inflated ego respon...

mjferg · mjferg

Well I am battling with life again,that's me, ever ready for a crisis,I got very angry and upset about some things and had a panic attack.I saw my therapist today and she asked me if I have ever lived a crisis free life, or feeling like one was just around the corner, and I said I have no idea what that woul...

Luiza · Luiza

My Landlord called me today to give me 6 weeks notice. Apparently he needs to move back in. So this is it. The New Year will be new and fresh indeed. My life is changing so much and so quickly. I guess I have to keep trusting my HP. It is so weird how I am not feeling like I am at home anymore. Being here is gettin...

Newlife girl · Newlife girl

I am admitting I still have magical thinking regarding "fixing" my AH. I am worried about him. I can tell he is sleeping a lot...i know by the way he sounds on the phone. I am STILL thinking I can help him feel better. But I've tried for over 10 years to help him. He has to help himself now. why do I t...

Em D · Em D

Both my A husband and I started recovery about 8 months ago. Things have been so difficult since rehab. I guess I had an expectation that the hardest part was over. Trust has been an issue with me in recovery, and I've tried to be very open minded and honest about it. I know I was told several lies and was dec...

Jerry F · Jerry F

No I didn't know how to do it coming from inside of the disease. I didn't know how and was afraid to try. I was afraid so I didn't learn a lot of normal stuff. I learned how to grieve in the program of the Al-Anon Family Groups as I watched so many others grieve their losses and wonder "why do they do...

grateful2be · grateful2be

I read the obits in my hometown paper. Today, a grade school chum was named together with the day of his death. I thought about the other "boys" in my little grade school who have died before he did. I can remember what a wild and crazy bunch he hung with. I can remember that he could do wild a...

neshema2 · neshema2

I have this friend, hes a lovely young man, diabetic and now hes lost his 2nd leg just below the knee and i have been keeping up w/him....we were good friends when I was in CA...We rode our horses all over the place and would go for ice cream and he , at that long ago time, seemed to be "too attached"...

andromeda · andromeda

So, I realized I must be one of those crazy people who expect other people to reply to me within 24 hours. I know people are busy, I am too. Yet, if I reach out to someone; whether it be family, non program friends, or program friends, I would expect them to at least have the decency to reply. In this world...

Newlife girl · Newlife girl

There's a new book out with this title. It's about a celebrity from the 80's who had an alcoholic mother. It's amazing how much I relate to her story and how I acted in the same ways she did with my AH. I'm almost finished with the book. the codependency is so familiar. I feel like I know her personally becau...

Em D · Em D

I've struggled with the HP portion of the program. So I told myself to look for signs/coincidences. I started really paying attention to what song is on the radio when I leave my meeting and how it relates to what I'm feeling. I listen to the rock station which often is about pain, but its been a fun and int...

Helpangel · Helpangel

I need some advice about after your spouse leaves rehab what do u do? Do I let him move back in? Make him live elsewhere? i know we will need help and he is in the process of setting that all up. After 30 days clean how stable are they? Do I get a roommate to share my house and make him stay out at least a year? Any a...

aquamom23 · aquamom23

OK. I ended up having to engage a lawyer as I drew a dead end everywhere else. I randimly selected one and it was through a call center. I got a call back from a man, explained the situation. He calls me back in an hour the situation is resolved. Without leaving the house. I'm taking this as a very serious exp...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Detaching AND Letting Go of Emotional Reactions (Preview) Emotional detachment . . . when you love an alcoholic and it is not in a voluntary relationship, but is family - in other words you can't divorce them or break up with them and "get rid of them," it can be difficult to detach emotionally when you are aware of anything negative occurring in thei...	ohno	23	634	Dec 23, 2014 by el-cee
	mad at self for checking (Preview) I am so angry at myself for going to see the Alcoholic. I told him in text message I had enough and I really believed I was done. He kept calling me and I gave in and went and seen him and spend 2 nights with him. I heard all the I am going to change, I am going to get help, all lies, lies. After being on a binge for 4 d...	joker	3	390	Dec 23, 2014 by Jerry F
	My trip (Preview) Hello everyone! My trip with my girls went pretty well. My oldest daughter and I got into an argument....but we were ok the next day. We have some issues to work on. Anyhow, while we were gone, I know my AH started drinking again and was in bed the whole time. You may wonder how I know...I just know. I know h...	Newlife girl	13	439	Dec 23, 2014 by Jerry F
	So Where Do I Go From Here? (Preview) I have been with my fiance for nearly twelve years now. He had always been a heavy drinker but I noticed his drinking really spiraled out of control about 7 years ago after his DUI. About two or three years later his mom was diagnosed with terminal cancer and shortly after began my fiance's first bout wit...	Athena1976	9	492	Dec 22, 2014 by Athena1976
	an early Christmas experience... (Preview) Here I sit wondering...What is gonna be like when my mom returns from the state hospital later today? I am hoping for a nice greeting & maybe even a hug. I haven't seen her since August & she is returning back to CA tomorrow. I just really want her to be happy. I really do. I even will sacrifice some...	Hoot Nanny	4	411	Dec 22, 2014 by el-cee
	Guess who passed all her finals this week! Yeah me! (Preview) Thank God for this program I am seriously amazing myself with what I am capable of. I just finished the LPN (licensed practical nurse) portion of my (ADN) registered nursing degree today. I have exactly one year left to go and am so happy with how things are working out right now. I can't believe I have be...	Breakingfree	17	570	Dec 22, 2014 by Jackie11
	Lost fiancée to alcohol, can't cope (Preview) In July 2014 my fiancée died as a result of his alcoholism. He was hospitalized for exactly 2 months. He was in liver failure. Steve & I had been high school sweethearts. We dated for 8 yrs, through college. I was the first girl he ever loved. I was the first girl he ever made love to. We grew apar...	1stLoveLastLove	4	481	Dec 22, 2014 by milkwood
	is this a new trick? (Preview) My husband has said he wants to they inpatient rehab. He thinks he is too weak to do aa again as a free person. Is this a new trick? His reason he says is our family. Particularly daddies girl, who truly is very attached to both of us and her family in general. I'm too raw to know how to respond to this. Though...	aquamom23	11	517	Dec 22, 2014 by tiredtonite
	New to Al-Anon (Preview) I'm codependent. I've been to several meetings and listen to several podcast and reading the literature. I'm understanding the importance of one day at a time. I know I will never change him. I'm taking advice to not make any decisions now and just work on me but I believe we will be splitting up afte...	robinfl	3	384	Dec 22, 2014 by neshema2
	looking after yourself (Preview) Its a new thing to me, looking after myself properly. When i pay attention and do it right its more than just the basics. Good personal hygiene, eating well, avoiding foods that are bad for me, exercising. Its the little things that tell me im working it or not. Like doing my hair and make up everyday reg...	el-cee	12	497	Dec 21, 2014 by PP
	Turning him over.... (Preview) I got an e-mail from the ex-A today. I am hurting him and our son .... Blah, blah, blah .....I read it and thought for the first time ... This is so not my issue. It is not my job to smooth this over "for my son". My job is to get some rest and be the best version of myself I can be. I use to feel crazy...	Truth	10	561	Dec 21, 2014 by Jerry F
	New Here, and Need a Bit of Help (Preview) Hello Everyone, I am very happy to have found this forum; I am living with an alcoholic spouse and it's finally beginning to take a toll on me. I am mentally exhausted, and of course physically as well. It's been a battle, and I've been doing research into how to really help; however, I know that I sometim...	son74	5	519	Dec 21, 2014 by Lucers73
	New member not sure about Christmas with Alcoholic Father new member christmas alcoholic father (Preview) Hi everyone and thanks for access to a group I feel I will learn alot from. I am a 40yo single woman feeling anxious about going home for Christmas to my alcoholic father. He explodes with rage about small things and is verbally abusive to my Mum intermittently whenever I visit them together or they visi...	Holly111	2	4928	Dec 21, 2014 by hotrod
	Advice on family (Preview) Hi all and happy holiday. My AH gets out of rehab the 27th of this month. I am doing a lot if soul searching and to be honest I am not sure how to deal with our families while my ah and I try and figure out how and if we stay together. What I didn't realize is how our parents are so against us getting back together....	Helpangel	3	313	Dec 21, 2014 by Breakingfree
	Thursday night drunk texts from the exAH and..... (Preview) So while I was studying my heart out for that last final and freaking out about my boyfriends ex-wife stopping by with their 11 year old, my exAH started texting kind of late when we were headed to bed. My girls are headed up by him tomorrow for Christmas, the 3 of us all are now all on break from school, I hop...	Breakingfree	7	579	Dec 21, 2014 by Debilyn
	da boys (Preview) sucker sign was on. creator put me in their path. people had twins with serious health problems.....sooooo here are da boys. Leonard and Reegan Nothing makes me feel better than doing a rescue, that and being kissed...... -- Edited by Debilyn on Saturday 20th of December 2014 05:35:12 PM	Debilyn	11	584	Dec 21, 2014 by grateful2be
	I am an adult child of an alcoholic father father dad drunk alcoholic threat violent abuse gun DUI overwhelmed pity party memories (Preview) I'm not sure, as I sit here, what exactly I am hoping to gain by typing this out. I don't know that anyone can advise me on an effective solution or soothe me with words of wisdom. My earliest memories as a child are of my father or about my father and his being drunk, violent, out of control, or all of the abov...	Inundated	25	9069	Dec 21, 2014 by FriendOfBillysWife
	Hi 😊. I'm new & housebound (separated) wife of man in denial (Preview) not sure how this works, so I'm trying My friend told me about you as I'm struggling at the moment. I have ME & pretty much housebound so unable to go to meetings. My husband is an alcoholic but is still in denial. Currently he drinks 3 bottles of wine & a bottle of vodka a night, tho tells me he st...	Lucers73	20	783	Dec 21, 2014 by YARNCRAZY
	Good news at last! (Preview) It was time to take daughter to her dads yesterday, and once again I arranged with A to come and drive with me as I thought (erroneously) that I was not ready to do the big drive by myself and needed help. No, I didn't particularly want to see him if that's how it sounds, I just still feel very fearful of dri...	missmeliss	5	505	Dec 21, 2014 by hotrod
	The divorce... (Preview) Well, yesterday we signed a settlement agreement and I will be able to file divorce papers later this week (uncontested divorce--I did ALL the paperwork myself). I am feeling so many mixed emotions--it is not easy to describe. The hardest part of this has been feeling the AH's anger towards me. I fee...	sookie	15	791	Dec 21, 2014 by pinkchip
	New to Alanon... (Preview) I'm busy and can't really go out to meetings, but I feel like having community support will help me get through the holidays. The holidays are always hard. I feel so helpless and was hoping that by reaching out here, I might be able to convert these feelings into something else or at least shift my perspe...	MaxGleam	4	435	Dec 21, 2014 by Jerry F
	still angry and moving forward (Preview) I have read what has been shared on my last topic and it makes so much sense. I have been doing the 4th step al-anon inventory and this morning I wrote 17 pages in my journal. I see my pattern of being with alcoholic men and what its doing to me. I am the one that falls apart and needs help, yet the Alcoholic jus...	joker	5	589	Dec 20, 2014 by neshema2
	New to Board and Alanon (Preview) Hi I am Marva. I am new to the board and have a passing familiarity with Alanon. I've referred many to it. I live in a rural area with no meetings and I need help. I am involved with a man who is sober 30+ years with no program and no peaceful sobriety. He might as well still be drunk the way I react to him. I reall...	Sapphronia	4	386	Dec 20, 2014 by grateful2be
	On the subject of beauty (Preview) Dorothy Day has been quoted as saying she believed that beauty will save us. I don't know if that is true or not. I do know that today I went to a Christmas tea with women in my aqua yoga class and other women who are in a morning water exercise class with the yoga and exercise instructor. The table was lad...	grateful2be	23	897	Dec 20, 2014 by Debb
	New guy here... (Preview) I would just like to introduce myself. My name is Nick, I am 27 years old. I am the son of a functioning alchoholic, and the mother of my children is an alchoholic as well. I have just recently found out about Al-Anon, and I plan on attending my first meeting tomorrow night. I think this can really be a usefu...	NEP	20	871	Dec 20, 2014 by Breakingfree
	Technical question (Preview) Is anybody else noticing two white boxes at the top of this screen advertising ways to manage our advertising and forums for our website? Irritating.	grateful2be	20	514	Dec 20, 2014 by grateful2be
	I'm a Monk . . . (Preview) I went to see my spiritual counselor yesterday and she told me to think of myself as a Monk, at the moment - basically to take care of myself and do my inner work. I really like this image and it is already helping me. I have been "praying without ceasing" when worry shows up and when I wake up in th...	ohno	6	590	Dec 20, 2014 by grateful2be
	gratitude (Preview) Im a grateful member of alanon, real life and virtual. I joined this family, here on line 2 years ago this week. Ive learned a lot, feel like ive made friends, probably annoyed some folks sometimes but hey thats none of my business thankfully. Lol. Feel like ive grown. Im almost 3 yrs old, im growing up fa...	el-cee	17	581	Dec 20, 2014 by Debb
	I'm amazed, little changes make big differences! (Preview) Hi Everyone, While I am sure I could go into a rant about a few things going on in my life, I have to refrain simply because I set the stage for much of it to unfold. Surrender and Acceptance has been my strong hold this past few months. Okay, The good stuff first. I finally quite smoking!! No patches, e-...	John	11	512	Dec 20, 2014 by milkwood
	Unresolved grief (Preview) Today is not going well emotionally for me. I am asking for online hugs. I find myself mourning the end of my first marriage. when my first husband left me for another woman, I surely thought I would die. Along came AH to the rescue 7 months later! Obviously, I was on the rebound and this marriage didn't wo...	Newlife girl	16	669	Dec 20, 2014 by kismetstrand
	My boyfriends ex-wife finally got her way! (Preview) I have my last final tomorrow so I am staying at his house, because he is 45 minutes closer to school and his house is quiet. I do it about once a month and it's usually peaceful and nice. Tonight his ex-wife that has wanted to meet me the last 9 months did a drop in with their 11 year old and it was awkward and le...	Breakingfree	16	695	Dec 19, 2014 by grateful2be
	What Do You Feel Your Higher Power Has Done For You? (Preview) Just wondering about your experiences with your HP helping you. What specifically has your HP done for you? I believe in God, angels, saints, guides, you-name-it . . . and I feel I have been healed of some traumas, comforted in bad times, etc., but when I pray for my grandson and when he prays for himself...	ohno	22	562	Dec 19, 2014 by cloudyskies
	'Constitutionally incapable of being honest with themselves'....What does it mean? (Preview) A question for the double winners. My husband has been in AA for almost 12 months. I've been in Al-Anon for 10 months. Exactly what does 'constitutionally incapable of being honest with themselves' mean? Does it apply to Al-Anon? I overhead a conversation between my husband and what I took to be a...	ymvv2000	14	5025	Dec 19, 2014 by Hoot Nanny
	Can you spot an A? (Preview) My sponsor says she can spot an A but I don't think I have the ability to do this unless I see them drinking! It makes me wonder about my doctor, dentist, and lawyer people who I trust their wisdom and advice? Maybe I need to be more discernment.. What wouldI look for? Heck the only time I know for sure is...	hopes314	16	795	Dec 19, 2014 by Luiza
	here we go again . . . introduction . . . (Preview) hello all: i find myself here after 15 years of active alanon. raised my kids. one of them is now alcoholic and acting out. i only know the tip of the iceberg, thankfully. she is raising my teen grandson. i worry for him. the entire family is affected (of course). she has rage and entitlement issues, narc...	ohno	22	1748	Dec 19, 2014 by ohno
	Happiness is being a Nana (Preview) Tonight, I went to my grandson's high school holiday concert. I listened to the strings, 3 choirs and then his symphonic band. I watched my 15 year old, sophomore grandson file in with his classmates, sporting the new tie he'd talked his Mom into buying. I saw him find his seat with his baritone be...	grateful2be	16	607	Dec 19, 2014 by PP
	grief (Preview) Hate crying. Just hate it. Was told years ago that grief is sometimes mourning for the loss of an ideal. Its really very late here but I can't sleep yet. I'll pay for that tomorrow. All alone in a big city the week before xmas its my babies first Christmas our first with three kids. And were going to be alone...	aquamom23	21	656	Dec 19, 2014 by Em D
	amazing day! (Preview) I spent the day with my youngest son,we delivered gifts to the nursing home,both of my parents are there.My father was an alcoholic and a very angry man,we have never been close.I sat by my mother's bed and watched her,she has dementia,I always cry when I see her.My father came over to me and hugged me ti...	mjferg	7	331	Dec 19, 2014 by Em D
	Step 10 Step Board (Preview) http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t59246554/alanon-step-10-12-2014/	hotrod	1	2211	Dec 19, 2014 by grateful2be
	A Little Re-Introduction (Preview) I posted here five year's ago about my alcoholic daughter. I was able to let go of her and her alcoholism for the most part, but in the meantime, my grandson, now age 21 is in dire straights. We found out he was alcoholic when he was 18, sent him to rehab - since then he has been in an SLE, in jail, "okay&q...	ohno	19	449	Dec 19, 2014 by ohno
	AH OUT OF HOSPITAL/HOME FOR HOLIDAYS (Preview) 2wks ago,ah went on drinking binge for 4 days. he skipped work and then threw up so much that he had to be hospitalized for dehydration,hbp and vitamin depletion. he really suffered physically with stomach pains,weakness and tremors. again he made that useless promise that it was so bad,he was goin...	YARNCRAZY	3	449	Dec 18, 2014 by grateful2be
	made changes (Preview) I have been with alcoholic for 7 months, he works in camp for 2 weeks at time and home for a week. I have my own apartment with daughter. The past 7 months has been very unstable due to A binge drinkings during the week he is off work. He even drinks in camp, and has gone through numerous jobs. When he is at home...	joker	5	534	Dec 18, 2014 by aquamom23
	Photo Time!!!! (Preview)	missmeliss	24	758	Dec 18, 2014 by Luiza
	Family of Origin Issues ( 1 2 ) (Preview) Recovery really is a balancing act. Once I get something unhealthy out of my life, I have to watch out for new unhealthy behaviors and character defects arising. Okay, so I stopped drinking and ended a really toxic relationship with another A. For a long time I engaged in these self destructive beh...	pinkchip	58	1772	Dec 18, 2014 by el-cee
	freedom (Preview) Well we woke up late today at 7 am and I was feeling quite nervous. I didn't rush through the morning. Went to court, my file wasn't there. But I discovered something interesting about myself. When it came down to advocating for myself and children an intellectual side came out utterly divorced of fear...	aquamom23	12	508	Dec 18, 2014 by el-cee
	missing the alcoholic (Preview) I'm having some issues with my apartment, which has put me in a hotel b/c it is not safe to sleep there right now. I have stayed in 2 diff. hotels, whatever has been cheapest, and on a friends sofa one night. I am feeling beat by life. And this, is making me miss my Aexbf. Plus it is the holidays, and I am forced...	giraffe13	6	702	Dec 18, 2014 by pinkchip
	Something to smile about (Preview) Daughter's graduation ceremony is tomorrow night. A while ago I promised her the works, a new dress, shoes etc but of course that was no longer possible and I was worried she would feel yukky next to her dressed up friends. But we've been scouring the op-shops, tonight we finally found great shoes, bel...	missmeliss	22	792	Dec 18, 2014 by Luiza
	My body is tired.. (Preview) I stayed home from work today. My body is tired and needs sleep. On Monday, I phoned the police. My ex-A must be testing my boundaries and decided he could drop off some stuff at my house. A present for his son that he had the day before at his visit and did not give him. I kind of knew by his inflated ego respon...	Truth	4	270	Dec 18, 2014 by PP
	maybe surrender? (Preview) Well I am battling with life again,that's me, ever ready for a crisis,I got very angry and upset about some things and had a panic attack.I saw my therapist today and she asked me if I have ever lived a crisis free life, or feeling like one was just around the corner, and I said I have no idea what that woul...	mjferg	3	429	Dec 17, 2014 by grateful2be
	Packing will keep me busy over the holidays. (Preview) My Landlord called me today to give me 6 weeks notice. Apparently he needs to move back in. So this is it. The New Year will be new and fresh indeed. My life is changing so much and so quickly. I guess I have to keep trusting my HP. It is so weird how I am not feeling like I am at home anymore. Being here is gettin...	Luiza	19	578	Dec 17, 2014 by grateful2be
	My magical thinking=anxiety (Preview) I am admitting I still have magical thinking regarding "fixing" my AH. I am worried about him. I can tell he is sleeping a lot...i know by the way he sounds on the phone. I am STILL thinking I can help him feel better. But I've tried for over 10 years to help him. He has to help himself now. why do I t...	Newlife girl	20	819	Dec 17, 2014 by grateful2be
	Trust shattered (Preview) Both my A husband and I started recovery about 8 months ago. Things have been so difficult since rehab. I guess I had an expectation that the hardest part was over. Trust has been an issue with me in recovery, and I've tried to be very open minded and honest about it. I know I was told several lies and was dec...	Em D	21	699	Dec 17, 2014 by Em D
	Grieving alcohol not mentioned. (Preview) No I didn't know how to do it coming from inside of the disease. I didn't know how and was afraid to try. I was afraid so I didn't learn a lot of normal stuff. I learned how to grieve in the program of the Al-Anon Family Groups as I watched so many others grieve their losses and wonder "why do they do...	Jerry F	3	417	Dec 16, 2014 by hotrod
	Who knew? (Preview) I read the obits in my hometown paper. Today, a grade school chum was named together with the day of his death. I thought about the other "boys" in my little grade school who have died before he did. I can remember what a wild and crazy bunch he hung with. I can remember that he could do wild a...	grateful2be	14	560	Dec 16, 2014 by neshema2
	got hit w/a bomshell, still SMH!!!! (Preview) I have this friend, hes a lovely young man, diabetic and now hes lost his 2nd leg just below the knee and i have been keeping up w/him....we were good friends when I was in CA...We rode our horses all over the place and would go for ice cream and he , at that long ago time, seemed to be "too attached"...	neshema2	17	696	Dec 16, 2014 by neshema2
	Open conversation about expectations in friendships (Preview) So, I realized I must be one of those crazy people who expect other people to reply to me within 24 hours. I know people are busy, I am too. Yet, if I reach out to someone; whether it be family, non program friends, or program friends, I would expect them to at least have the decency to reply. In this world...	andromeda	16	558	Dec 16, 2014 by Newlife girl
	There Was A Little Girl (Preview) There's a new book out with this title. It's about a celebrity from the 80's who had an alcoholic mother. It's amazing how much I relate to her story and how I acted in the same ways she did with my AH. I'm almost finished with the book. the codependency is so familiar. I feel like I know her personally becau...	Newlife girl	1	231	Dec 16, 2014 by Debilyn
	A Little Game I Play (Preview) I've struggled with the HP portion of the program. So I told myself to look for signs/coincidences. I started really paying attention to what song is on the radio when I leave my meeting and how it relates to what I'm feeling. I listen to the rock station which often is about pain, but its been a fun and int...	Em D	1	430	Dec 16, 2014 by PP
	After rehab.. Then what?? (Preview) I need some advice about after your spouse leaves rehab what do u do? Do I let him move back in? Make him live elsewhere? i know we will need help and he is in the process of setting that all up. After 30 days clean how stable are they? Do I get a roommate to share my house and make him stay out at least a year? Any a...	Helpangel	6	981	Dec 16, 2014 by Em D
	feeling relieved (Preview) OK. I ended up having to engage a lawyer as I drew a dead end everywhere else. I randimly selected one and it was through a call center. I got a call back from a man, explained the situation. He calls me back in an hour the situation is resolved. Without leaving the house. I'm taking this as a very serious exp...	aquamom23	16	474	Dec 16, 2014 by grateful2be
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.