Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

mugwump · mugwump

Hello, completely new here, so please tell me if this is in the wrong place! Long story short(ish)... A year ago, we realised that my Mother-in-Law was drinking. At the time we didn't know how much of a problem it was, until around Easter time, when we realised it was pretty bad, including being drunk at...

lgnutah · lgnutah

It is so hard to live with someone struggling with both mental illness and addiction. Does anyone have words of advice or encouragement for me? Our adult A son has been diagnosed as bi-polar. When he was in his junior year of college he was arrested for a drug charge and went through a court mandated pro...

missmeliss · missmeliss

I've been staying at a friend's house for a few days so I can attend some business in this area. It's no big deal, this male friend (and his fiance sometimes) have stayed at my house for the same reasons plenty of times in the past and this is the first ever time I have ever returned the favor. The two of them a...

Kerrymom · Kerrymom

I've been waiting for the "right" time to separate from my AH - when I had saved more money, after a binge so he'd understand or I was justified, etc but there isn't going to be a right time. He just keeps on doing what he does and when drunk breaks things which costs hundreds to replace (his glas...

lizzieo35 · lizzieo35

I hate Christmas and resent all those people who r posting on fb about their wonderful day with wonderful family!!!! In all fairness yesterday wasn't too bad he didn't drink but only because he had to work last night!!! Today, boxing day, what a different story!!!! I hate him for getting drunk causing...

Dreamer83 · Dreamer83

Oh dear... I don't even know where to start. The past year and a half of my life as been a nightmare that I can't wake up from. My husband has always been a drinker. This I was aware of. In his past life, he also did drugs and got himself straightened out, joined the military and has been very successful. He h...

LicoriceTwist · LicoriceTwist

I cannot find the email acct with my info on it from my posting. ACOA here - been tough night and day. Estranged from kids following divorce - Living with elderly dementia parent and elderly parent. The qualifier started getting sober in may 14 but does not really grasp the program as dementia and al...

mjferg · mjferg

I have decided to go to college and as I have been filling out forms and financial applications I noticed a lot of difficulty with concentrating and just focusing on the task at hand.My poor little brain is all over the place.I am wondering how I will do with studying.I am wondering if living in the chaos...

bud · bud

Thank you so much, dear family, for hanging in there with me. I spent Christmas eve sponge bathing and singing to my Mom as her fever started climbing to 103. I think my Dad felt better that I was there and would see me in the morning too. Finally, finally, my Mom's temperature returned to normal. Ear...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

And God has a party .. LOL .. seriously it must be comedy central up there! Merry Christmas as well Happy Holiday's. I have been very very busy .. so what else is new. It's all good and I feel ok. Last night I had some moments and I think it's just going to take a little bit of time and consistency. I am loo...

Mlkiss75 · Mlkiss75

I married my ex husband in June 2010. By September, he was drinking and drugging (vodka and cocaine) every day, not working, destroying all of our possessions and scaring the poop out of me. He agreed to go to rehab. He stayed for 17 days. He was sober for 57 days. I felt amazing to have my husband bac...

Cooper · Cooper

My side of the family celebrated Christmas on Christmas eve....a small gathering in which every single person there has struggled with or is still struggling with addictions. Every person there knows what my 21 year old son has been going thru the last two years, he is firmly in the grasp of drug and...

grateful2be · grateful2be

I spent Christmas Eve with my daughter, grandson and their little dog, Marley. Food, games, a ride to look at Christmas lights, ornament making and a few gifts opened. No booze. No drunks. No drama. Just normal family relations. This morning, the family is still sleeping as my daughter's resp...

PP · PP

I need to do something tomorrow that will be very very hard, yet I must. My mom promised us that she would not let my father drive anymore, due to the dementia. He drove to my brothers today and was planning on driving them home. I yelled at my mom that he could not drive; she insisted he was alright to driv...

texas yankee · texas yankee

I've been going to a lot of different FTF Al Anon meetings lately - I was laid off about two years shy of when I had planned to retire, and having had the extra time to attend the additional meetings has helped me to make significant progress in my program - maybe things were getting a bit stale for me with my...

Holly09 · Holly09

I want to wish all of the people here a Very Merry Christmas! I know for many it will be a struggle and I even struggled a little today to have the spirit I used to have I did my best and my children are happy and that's what matters most. Peace to all. Holly

missmeliss · missmeliss

Well I can't say it has been a fun Christmas, but, on the bright side, it's almost over...lol. It is 7 minutes to midnight. Housemate lady decided not to do Christmas with her family this year (similar issues) so she stayed here and was angry all day. That's nothing to do with me but, she had said she was go...

neshema2 · neshema2

For a few years now I've been looking on facebook for my TWO childhood sweethearts...Yea, I was the femme fatale who rode the big red horse who ran like the wind and was as wild as I was.....next to "Big Red" I loved those boys......I was 12 and they were the same age when we all started together...

Jen61 · Jen61

I work a part time job. When got home last night I could tell something was up. I did not say anything to him, because really what is the point. I found Vodka today and I was not even looking for it. I felt sick to my stomach. I know we have all felt this and even after all of these years it is still there. ...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

Merry Christmas Everyone..... I made enough for 12 people but it's the only way for leftovers LOL

PP · PP

My 85 year old mom has some challenges with blood clotting. Tonight, before we ate our Christmas Eve dinner, our son's dog was cleaning up a scrap on the floor, my mom went to pick it up and he bit her arm. He is a gentle dog, so this surprised us. My mom bled in 4 places for some time. I applied pressure an...

el-cee · el-cee

So, ive got the whole family and partners coming tomorrow. Both son, with problem and daughter without problem, want to bring alcohol. I said i would think about it. They are both bringing there partners and part of me wants to play at being normal,people unaffected people and we can all sit with a glas...

glad · glad

Merry Christmas to all! I feel so blessed. Yesterday Christmas Eve the new man in my life and I finished up some last minute shopping together, ran around with my daughter and son in law and 3.5 year old Grandson while Grandson went to sit on Santa's lap and saw some Christmas sites where we took happy...

mjferg · mjferg

Well yesterday I was feeling pretty down.It is Christmas eve, and I took my daughter to work, I started feeling that scary lonely feeling creeping on me and I decided to go into the kitchen and see if I could find something to cook a nice Christmas eve dinner.After scouring the pantry and freezer I hav...

missmeliss · missmeliss

Ah Christmas morning. Here is my Christmas Breakfast. It had better get me through the rest of the day because that's all the cooking I am doing! Yesterday I told mother I wouldn't be coming and she said, she can't have daughter overnight as she is leaving to go away early in the morning. I said no problem...

Ashley C · Ashley C

Hi everyone. I'm a new member of Al-Anon and so grateful that I found the program! Today I found out that my boyfriend of 2 years, an untreated Alcoholic has been cheating on me. According to him it was only twice and both times he was completely wasted, but it was the same person both times so clearly h...

cloudyskies · cloudyskies

Sometimes I see alcoholism as a physical being, someone or something that I can confront. I imagine this disease as a dark twisted being that is the personification of pain and agony. While having this imagine in my mind, I wrote a letter to this disease. In my letter I poured out all of my feelings for...

el-cee · el-cee

I have been affected by alcoholism and the symptoms that grew within me stopped me living life. Life was drudgery, drama,chaos and waiting for the next round. My teen years, my twenties and most of my thirties, gone now and I lived those years in darkness. Now I have a taste of life since becoming a membe...

Mirandac · Mirandac

My sponsor is more into tough love than gentle caring love which is what i feel i need at this time. In the process of grieving and mourning my marriage many truths come out to face and process. i need to make decisions that are best for me. i have surrounded myself with supportive caring friends. i am not...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

Hi Everyone I just wrote on Mel's post about Christmas Day and I thought what is that all about. I could do something for myself. SO I'm going to the store tonight after work and buy all the fixin's to make Christmas Dinner. I'm going to cook my heart out and enjoy the best meal I can put together. Foo...

WorkingThroughIt · WorkingThroughIt

Picked up a copy of the Alanon pamphlet called "Boundaries". the 2nd bullet says: - Not to allow ourselves to be used it abuses by others in the interest of another's recovery. What does this mean to you? When I was in AA I was used badly by my sponsor. We are now both in Alanon. A few weeks ago I...

Debilyn · Debilyn

Well if A was still A, the disease did not kill the one I knew. Things would be different. I realized I cannot take on one single thing more. The dogs won't work. they are too set and bonded to their people. One is escaping, the other is whining and sad. so the people are going to find a dog friendly home, and j...

PJJ108 · PJJ108

My family has scattered after our qualifier died 3 years ago. When our father died, the four of us came together to grieve for two weeks. Now sisters are isolated and one sister, refuses to speak to me or my siblings. As the oldest sister, with sister 8 and 10 years younger I find it challenging today to...

neshema2 · neshema2

hey gang... on vaca till the 2nd of Jan. Friday i got off work and I am thinking "ok, self, we are ON OUR OWN for 13 or so days what R we gonna do???? Saturday was the 1/2 Goodwill "bonanza" sale and i had a ball...books, REAL leather dress coats/jackets for like $8 just awesome goodies....

missmeliss · missmeliss

For the past few years, our Christmas routine has been, daughter is with her father in the days leading up to Christmas. She stays with him Christmas eve and spends Christmas morning with him and then she is delivered to my grandmother's house at lunch-time where I am waiting. We have lunch then journe...

grateful2be · grateful2be

I don't know about you, but I get tired of listening to health experts, behavior experts, drug companies and the like as they broadcast through the media and at private parties the way each of us can improve ourselves. Of course, there are always ads for gyms, exercise equipment, fat burners, rehabs...

Hailey44 · Hailey44

I have been married for 25 years to a man who is everything I could ask for in a partner...except when he has been drinking. I have not learned to walk away or set boundaries - if I walk away during a drunken "rant" he follows me through the house yelling at me, if I leave the house I have nowhere t...

CelinaR · CelinaR

My AH has been in recovery since April. He was in a 4 week program and has lived in a faith-based sober house since then. After all that we went through leading to our separation and him going into treatment, it was doubtful that we would get back together. I certainly didn't have much hope. My parent...

bud · bud

When the disease is fed an audience, it will want more. On some days reality and sanity don't play well together. Yesterday was like that for me. I visited my parents in the nursing home. I was approached by my Mom's nurse who said that my sister spent several hours with the nursing home clergy sobbin...

ohno · ohno

i am really p.o.'d that i have to deal with this b.s. at this point in my life. i can understand why i have an alcoholic daughter . . . i see the karma . . . with my grandson, it didn't matter that i had sent his mom to alateen and had stepped in to help raise him. every single thing i did for him was to assist him and...

mjferg · mjferg

I have tried to be joyful,I used to adore Christmas,this year is so different.I ended my relationship so a lot of things are new.I always cooked and baked cookies.I used to have a special party for my grandchildren with special gifts and handmade items,treat bags,luscious foods.This year the money...

milkwood · milkwood

I made a comment to AH while we were having tea in bed this morning. I said 'I think that our tenant is probably not going to renew their lease in March.' (We have a flat that we rent out). AH said 'I'm not going to worry about it,' and then proceeded to talk about it in his monopolising voice. It was not a co...

drywit44 · drywit44

Thanks for everyone's help in advance. The short question is what does forgiveness look like in a healthy relationship as opposed to a dysfunctional one? I'm a civilian married to a wonderful woman with 29 years with Al-Anon. I come from a deeply religious background (raised Evangelical, now Epi...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Hello MIP family: I have been here reading and learning but not posting much. There's something happening with me and I want to get it out there with you who will understand. As many of you know, I left a long marriage about a year and a half ago. A few months before my decision to leave, I asked a good fri...

ohno · ohno

Emotional detachment . . . when you love an alcoholic and it is not in a voluntary relationship, but is family - in other words you can't divorce them or break up with them and "get rid of them," it can be difficult to detach emotionally when you are aware of anything negative occurring in thei...

joker · joker

I am so angry at myself for going to see the Alcoholic. I told him in text message I had enough and I really believed I was done. He kept calling me and I gave in and went and seen him and spend 2 nights with him. I heard all the I am going to change, I am going to get help, all lies, lies. After being on a binge for 4 d...

Newlife girl · Newlife girl

Hello everyone! My trip with my girls went pretty well. My oldest daughter and I got into an argument....but we were ok the next day. We have some issues to work on. Anyhow, while we were gone, I know my AH started drinking again and was in bed the whole time. You may wonder how I know...I just know. I know h...

Athena1976 · Athena1976

I have been with my fiance for nearly twelve years now. He had always been a heavy drinker but I noticed his drinking really spiraled out of control about 7 years ago after his DUI. About two or three years later his mom was diagnosed with terminal cancer and shortly after began my fiance's first bout wit...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Here I sit wondering...What is gonna be like when my mom returns from the state hospital later today? I am hoping for a nice greeting & maybe even a hug. I haven't seen her since August & she is returning back to CA tomorrow. I just really want her to be happy. I really do. I even will sacrifice some...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

Thank God for this program I am seriously amazing myself with what I am capable of. I just finished the LPN (licensed practical nurse) portion of my (ADN) registered nursing degree today. I have exactly one year left to go and am so happy with how things are working out right now. I can't believe I have be...

1stLoveLastLove · 1stLoveLastLove

In July 2014 my fiancée died as a result of his alcoholism. He was hospitalized for exactly 2 months. He was in liver failure. Steve & I had been high school sweethearts. We dated for 8 yrs, through college. I was the first girl he ever loved. I was the first girl he ever made love to. We grew apar...

aquamom23 · aquamom23

My husband has said he wants to they inpatient rehab. He thinks he is too weak to do aa again as a free person. Is this a new trick? His reason he says is our family. Particularly daddies girl, who truly is very attached to both of us and her family in general. I'm too raw to know how to respond to this. Though...

robinfl · robinfl

I'm codependent. I've been to several meetings and listen to several podcast and reading the literature. I'm understanding the importance of one day at a time. I know I will never change him. I'm taking advice to not make any decisions now and just work on me but I believe we will be splitting up afte...

el-cee · el-cee

Its a new thing to me, looking after myself properly. When i pay attention and do it right its more than just the basics. Good personal hygiene, eating well, avoiding foods that are bad for me, exercising. Its the little things that tell me im working it or not. Like doing my hair and make up everyday reg...

Truth · Truth

I got an e-mail from the ex-A today. I am hurting him and our son .... Blah, blah, blah .....I read it and thought for the first time ... This is so not my issue. It is not my job to smooth this over "for my son". My job is to get some rest and be the best version of myself I can be. I use to feel crazy...

son74 · son74

Hello Everyone, I am very happy to have found this forum; I am living with an alcoholic spouse and it's finally beginning to take a toll on me. I am mentally exhausted, and of course physically as well. It's been a battle, and I've been doing research into how to really help; however, I know that I sometim...

Holly111 · Holly111

Hi everyone and thanks for access to a group I feel I will learn alot from. I am a 40yo single woman feeling anxious about going home for Christmas to my alcoholic father. He explodes with rage about small things and is verbally abusive to my Mum intermittently whenever I visit them together or they visi...

Helpangel · Helpangel

Hi all and happy holiday. My AH gets out of rehab the 27th of this month. I am doing a lot if soul searching and to be honest I am not sure how to deal with our families while my ah and I try and figure out how and if we stay together. What I didn't realize is how our parents are so against us getting back together....

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

So while I was studying my heart out for that last final and freaking out about my boyfriends ex-wife stopping by with their 11 year old, my exAH started texting kind of late when we were headed to bed. My girls are headed up by him tomorrow for Christmas, the 3 of us all are now all on break from school, I hop...

Debilyn · Debilyn

sucker sign was on. creator put me in their path. people had twins with serious health problems.....sooooo here are da boys. Leonard and Reegan Nothing makes me feel better than doing a rescue, that and being kissed...... -- Edited by Debilyn on Saturday 20th of December 2014 05:35:12 PM

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Newbie needs help!! (Preview) Hello, completely new here, so please tell me if this is in the wrong place! Long story short(ish)... A year ago, we realised that my Mother-in-Law was drinking. At the time we didn't know how much of a problem it was, until around Easter time, when we realised it was pretty bad, including being drunk at...	mugwump	6	395	Dec 27, 2014 by hotrod
	Anyone living with A who also has mental illness? (Preview) It is so hard to live with someone struggling with both mental illness and addiction. Does anyone have words of advice or encouragement for me? Our adult A son has been diagnosed as bi-polar. When he was in his junior year of college he was arrested for a drug charge and went through a court mandated pro...	lgnutah	4	818	Dec 27, 2014 by grateful2be
	Because I'm a woman? (Preview) I've been staying at a friend's house for a few days so I can attend some business in this area. It's no big deal, this male friend (and his fiance sometimes) have stayed at my house for the same reasons plenty of times in the past and this is the first ever time I have ever returned the favor. The two of them a...	missmeliss	23	868	Dec 27, 2014 by missmeliss
	The right time (Preview) I've been waiting for the "right" time to separate from my AH - when I had saved more money, after a binge so he'd understand or I was justified, etc but there isn't going to be a right time. He just keeps on doing what he does and when drunk breaks things which costs hundreds to replace (his glas...	Kerrymom	4	688	Dec 27, 2014 by grateful2be
	i hate christmas!!!!! (Preview) I hate Christmas and resent all those people who r posting on fb about their wonderful day with wonderful family!!!! In all fairness yesterday wasn't too bad he didn't drink but only because he had to work last night!!! Today, boxing day, what a different story!!!! I hate him for getting drunk causing...	lizzieo35	17	786	Dec 27, 2014 by Kerrymom
	How do I let go? (Preview) Oh dear... I don't even know where to start. The past year and a half of my life as been a nightmare that I can't wake up from. My husband has always been a drinker. This I was aware of. In his past life, he also did drugs and got himself straightened out, joined the military and has been very successful. He h...	Dreamer83	10	817	Dec 26, 2014 by Newlife girl
	Hello again (Preview) I cannot find the email acct with my info on it from my posting. ACOA here - been tough night and day. Estranged from kids following divorce - Living with elderly dementia parent and elderly parent. The qualifier started getting sober in may 14 but does not really grasp the program as dementia and al...	LicoriceTwist	10	562	Dec 26, 2014 by LicoriceTwist
	My brain is bouncy (Preview) I have decided to go to college and as I have been filling out forms and financial applications I noticed a lot of difficulty with concentrating and just focusing on the task at hand.My poor little brain is all over the place.I am wondering how I will do with studying.I am wondering if living in the chaos...	mjferg	2	383	Dec 26, 2014 by mjferg
	Angry with myself (Preview) Thank you so much, dear family, for hanging in there with me. I spent Christmas eve sponge bathing and singing to my Mom as her fever started climbing to 103. I think my Dad felt better that I was there and would see me in the morning too. Finally, finally, my Mom's temperature returned to normal. Ear...	bud	8	509	Dec 26, 2014 by bud
	I make plans .. (Preview) And God has a party .. LOL .. seriously it must be comedy central up there! Merry Christmas as well Happy Holiday's. I have been very very busy .. so what else is new. It's all good and I feel ok. Last night I had some moments and I think it's just going to take a little bit of time and consistency. I am loo...	SerenityRUS	4	579	Dec 26, 2014 by Jackie11
	I can't believe this is happening again! (Preview) I married my ex husband in June 2010. By September, he was drinking and drugging (vodka and cocaine) every day, not working, destroying all of our possessions and scaring the poop out of me. He agreed to go to rehab. He stayed for 17 days. He was sober for 57 days. I felt amazing to have my husband bac...	Mlkiss75	18	1167	Dec 26, 2014 by Sweet Stanley
	I just need to scream...... (Preview) My side of the family celebrated Christmas on Christmas eve....a small gathering in which every single person there has struggled with or is still struggling with addictions. Every person there knows what my 21 year old son has been going thru the last two years, he is firmly in the grasp of drug and...	Cooper	14	740	Dec 26, 2014 by neshema2
	Merry Christmas! (Preview) I spent Christmas Eve with my daughter, grandson and their little dog, Marley. Food, games, a ride to look at Christmas lights, ornament making and a few gifts opened. No booze. No drunks. No drama. Just normal family relations. This morning, the family is still sleeping as my daughter's resp...	grateful2be	38	737	Dec 26, 2014 by grateful2be
	Tomorrow will be tough (Preview) I need to do something tomorrow that will be very very hard, yet I must. My mom promised us that she would not let my father drive anymore, due to the dementia. He drove to my brothers today and was planning on driving them home. I yelled at my mom that he could not drive; she insisted he was alright to driv...	PP	4	567	Dec 26, 2014 by milkwood
	The perspective from the other room . . . (Preview) I've been going to a lot of different FTF Al Anon meetings lately - I was laid off about two years shy of when I had planned to retire, and having had the extra time to attend the additional meetings has helped me to make significant progress in my program - maybe things were getting a bit stale for me with my...	texas yankee	2	537	Dec 26, 2014 by Jerry F
	Merry Christmas (Preview) I want to wish all of the people here a Very Merry Christmas! I know for many it will be a struggle and I even struggled a little today to have the spirit I used to have I did my best and my children are happy and that's what matters most. Peace to all. Holly	Holly09	3	372	Dec 26, 2014 by Jerry F
	Soap. (Preview) Well I can't say it has been a fun Christmas, but, on the bright side, it's almost over...lol. It is 7 minutes to midnight. Housemate lady decided not to do Christmas with her family this year (similar issues) so she stayed here and was angry all day. That's nothing to do with me but, she had said she was go...	missmeliss	11	517	Dec 25, 2014 by missmeliss
	and heaven doesn't have facebook (Preview) For a few years now I've been looking on facebook for my TWO childhood sweethearts...Yea, I was the femme fatale who rode the big red horse who ran like the wind and was as wild as I was.....next to "Big Red" I loved those boys......I was 12 and they were the same age when we all started together...	neshema2	7	792	Dec 25, 2014 by grateful2be
	Merry Christmas and Vodka (Preview) I work a part time job. When got home last night I could tell something was up. I did not say anything to him, because really what is the point. I found Vodka today and I was not even looking for it. I felt sick to my stomach. I know we have all felt this and even after all of these years it is still there. ...	Jen61	3	469	Dec 25, 2014 by PP
	Dinner (((( Melly )))) (Preview) Merry Christmas Everyone..... I made enough for 12 people but it's the only way for leftovers LOL	Cathyinaz	4	365	Dec 25, 2014 by missmeliss
	A sad night for me (Preview) My 85 year old mom has some challenges with blood clotting. Tonight, before we ate our Christmas Eve dinner, our son's dog was cleaning up a scrap on the floor, my mom went to pick it up and he bit her arm. He is a gentle dog, so this surprised us. My mom bled in 4 places for some time. I applied pressure an...	PP	26	552	Dec 25, 2014 by Debilyn
	to allow drink or not allow drink (Preview) So, ive got the whole family and partners coming tomorrow. Both son, with problem and daughter without problem, want to bring alcohol. I said i would think about it. They are both bringing there partners and part of me wants to play at being normal,people unaffected people and we can all sit with a glas...	el-cee	13	788	Dec 25, 2014 by lgnutah
	My Christmas wish for you is Peace and Joy! (Preview) Merry Christmas to all! I feel so blessed. Yesterday Christmas Eve the new man in my life and I finished up some last minute shopping together, ran around with my daughter and son in law and 3.5 year old Grandson while Grandson went to sit on Santa's lap and saw some Christmas sites where we took happy...	glad	3	585	Dec 25, 2014 by PP
	5 loaves and 2 fish (Preview) Well yesterday I was feeling pretty down.It is Christmas eve, and I took my daughter to work, I started feeling that scary lonely feeling creeping on me and I decided to go into the kitchen and see if I could find something to cook a nice Christmas eve dinner.After scouring the pantry and freezer I hav...	mjferg	10	636	Dec 25, 2014 by bud
	Ho ho ho (Preview) Ah Christmas morning. Here is my Christmas Breakfast. It had better get me through the rest of the day because that's all the cooking I am doing! Yesterday I told mother I wouldn't be coming and she said, she can't have daughter overnight as she is leaving to go away early in the morning. I said no problem...	missmeliss	7	583	Dec 25, 2014 by el-cee
	How to handle cheating (Preview) Hi everyone. I'm a new member of Al-Anon and so grateful that I found the program! Today I found out that my boyfriend of 2 years, an untreated Alcoholic has been cheating on me. According to him it was only twice and both times he was completely wasted, but it was the same person both times so clearly h...	Ashley C	11	1416	Dec 25, 2014 by Jerry F
	Therapy for dealing with alcoholism (Preview) Sometimes I see alcoholism as a physical being, someone or something that I can confront. I imagine this disease as a dark twisted being that is the personification of pain and agony. While having this imagine in my mind, I wrote a letter to this disease. In my letter I poured out all of my feelings for...	cloudyskies	5	603	Dec 25, 2014 by neshema2
	Living life (Preview) I have been affected by alcoholism and the symptoms that grew within me stopped me living life. Life was drudgery, drama,chaos and waiting for the next round. My teen years, my twenties and most of my thirties, gone now and I lived those years in darkness. Now I have a taste of life since becoming a membe...	el-cee	8	511	Dec 25, 2014 by bud
	Sponsor Tough vs gentle love (Preview) My sponsor is more into tough love than gentle caring love which is what i feel i need at this time. In the process of grieving and mourning my marriage many truths come out to face and process. i need to make decisions that are best for me. i have surrounded myself with supportive caring friends. i am not...	Mirandac	25	1059	Dec 24, 2014 by Mirandac
	Christmas (Preview) Hi Everyone I just wrote on Mel's post about Christmas Day and I thought what is that all about. I could do something for myself. SO I'm going to the store tonight after work and buy all the fixin's to make Christmas Dinner. I'm going to cook my heart out and enjoy the best meal I can put together. Foo...	Cathyinaz	11	989	Dec 24, 2014 by grateful2be
	The Pamphlet "Boundaries" (Preview) Picked up a copy of the Alanon pamphlet called "Boundaries". the 2nd bullet says: - Not to allow ourselves to be used it abuses by others in the interest of another's recovery. What does this mean to you? When I was in AA I was used badly by my sponsor. We are now both in Alanon. A few weeks ago I...	WorkingThroughIt	4	559	Dec 24, 2014 by WorkingThroughIt
	The disease keeps taking (Preview) Well if A was still A, the disease did not kill the one I knew. Things would be different. I realized I cannot take on one single thing more. The dogs won't work. they are too set and bonded to their people. One is escaping, the other is whining and sad. so the people are going to find a dog friendly home, and j...	Debilyn	16	643	Dec 24, 2014 by grateful2be
	Feeling feelings of loneliness, grief on Christmas Eve Christmas Eve Feeling feelings (Preview) My family has scattered after our qualifier died 3 years ago. When our father died, the four of us came together to grieve for two weeks. Now sisters are isolated and one sister, refuses to speak to me or my siblings. As the oldest sister, with sister 8 and 10 years younger I find it challenging today to...	PJJ108	3	940	Dec 24, 2014 by grateful2be
	oh!! Just some stuff I noticed (Preview) hey gang... on vaca till the 2nd of Jan. Friday i got off work and I am thinking "ok, self, we are ON OUR OWN for 13 or so days what R we gonna do???? Saturday was the 1/2 Goodwill "bonanza" sale and i had a ball...books, REAL leather dress coats/jackets for like $8 just awesome goodies....	neshema2	8	661	Dec 24, 2014 by neshema2
	Christmas Lunch in the Peanut Gallery. (Preview) For the past few years, our Christmas routine has been, daughter is with her father in the days leading up to Christmas. She stays with him Christmas eve and spends Christmas morning with him and then she is delivered to my grandmother's house at lunch-time where I am waiting. We have lunch then journe...	missmeliss	21	624	Dec 24, 2014 by missmeliss
	On the subject of minding others' business, shoulding, musts, etc (Preview) I don't know about you, but I get tired of listening to health experts, behavior experts, drug companies and the like as they broadcast through the media and at private parties the way each of us can improve ourselves. Of course, there are always ads for gyms, exercise equipment, fat burners, rehabs...	grateful2be	8	588	Dec 24, 2014 by grateful2be
	25 years married to the worst/best man I know (Preview) I have been married for 25 years to a man who is everything I could ask for in a partner...except when he has been drinking. I have not learned to walk away or set boundaries - if I walk away during a drunken "rant" he follows me through the house yelling at me, if I leave the house I have nowhere t...	Hailey44	7	695	Dec 24, 2014 by yanksfan51
	Wanting Concerned Family Members to Come With Me in Recovery (Preview) My AH has been in recovery since April. He was in a 4 week program and has lived in a faith-based sober house since then. After all that we went through leading to our separation and him going into treatment, it was doubtful that we would get back together. I certainly didn't have much hope. My parent...	CelinaR	5	583	Dec 24, 2014 by el-cee
	If you give the disease an audience family of origin coping anger abuse (Preview) When the disease is fed an audience, it will want more. On some days reality and sanity don't play well together. Yesterday was like that for me. I visited my parents in the nursing home. I was approached by my Mom's nurse who said that my sister spent several hours with the nursing home clergy sobbin...	bud	13	11018	Dec 23, 2014 by bud
	Sick of This - Over It - How Do You ACCEPT That This Horrible Thing Has Happened? Resentment! (Preview) i am really p.o.'d that i have to deal with this b.s. at this point in my life. i can understand why i have an alcoholic daughter . . . i see the karma . . . with my grandson, it didn't matter that i had sent his mom to alateen and had stepped in to help raise him. every single thing i did for him was to assist him and...	ohno	32	1099	Dec 23, 2014 by neshema2
	blue christmas (Preview) I have tried to be joyful,I used to adore Christmas,this year is so different.I ended my relationship so a lot of things are new.I always cooked and baked cookies.I used to have a special party for my grandchildren with special gifts and handmade items,treat bags,luscious foods.This year the money...	mjferg	4	553	Dec 23, 2014 by stillhangingon
	I'm not proud of this... (Preview) I made a comment to AH while we were having tea in bed this morning. I said 'I think that our tenant is probably not going to renew their lease in March.' (We have a flat that we rent out). AH said 'I'm not going to worry about it,' and then proceeded to talk about it in his monopolising voice. It was not a co...	milkwood	12	629	Dec 23, 2014 by bud
	Forgiveness in Theory and Practice forgiveness (Preview) Thanks for everyone's help in advance. The short question is what does forgiveness look like in a healthy relationship as opposed to a dysfunctional one? I'm a civilian married to a wonderful woman with 29 years with Al-Anon. I come from a deeply religious background (raised Evangelical, now Epi...	drywit44	7	10537	Dec 23, 2014 by KennyFenderjazz
	need to share (Preview) Hello MIP family: I have been here reading and learning but not posting much. There's something happening with me and I want to get it out there with you who will understand. As many of you know, I left a long marriage about a year and a half ago. A few months before my decision to leave, I asked a good fri...	yanksfan51	21	719	Dec 23, 2014 by yanksfan51
	Detaching AND Letting Go of Emotional Reactions (Preview) Emotional detachment . . . when you love an alcoholic and it is not in a voluntary relationship, but is family - in other words you can't divorce them or break up with them and "get rid of them," it can be difficult to detach emotionally when you are aware of anything negative occurring in thei...	ohno	23	748	Dec 23, 2014 by el-cee
	mad at self for checking (Preview) I am so angry at myself for going to see the Alcoholic. I told him in text message I had enough and I really believed I was done. He kept calling me and I gave in and went and seen him and spend 2 nights with him. I heard all the I am going to change, I am going to get help, all lies, lies. After being on a binge for 4 d...	joker	3	500	Dec 23, 2014 by Jerry F
	My trip (Preview) Hello everyone! My trip with my girls went pretty well. My oldest daughter and I got into an argument....but we were ok the next day. We have some issues to work on. Anyhow, while we were gone, I know my AH started drinking again and was in bed the whole time. You may wonder how I know...I just know. I know h...	Newlife girl	13	557	Dec 23, 2014 by Jerry F
	So Where Do I Go From Here? (Preview) I have been with my fiance for nearly twelve years now. He had always been a heavy drinker but I noticed his drinking really spiraled out of control about 7 years ago after his DUI. About two or three years later his mom was diagnosed with terminal cancer and shortly after began my fiance's first bout wit...	Athena1976	9	621	Dec 22, 2014 by Athena1976
	an early Christmas experience... (Preview) Here I sit wondering...What is gonna be like when my mom returns from the state hospital later today? I am hoping for a nice greeting & maybe even a hug. I haven't seen her since August & she is returning back to CA tomorrow. I just really want her to be happy. I really do. I even will sacrifice some...	Hoot Nanny	4	519	Dec 22, 2014 by el-cee
	Guess who passed all her finals this week! Yeah me! (Preview) Thank God for this program I am seriously amazing myself with what I am capable of. I just finished the LPN (licensed practical nurse) portion of my (ADN) registered nursing degree today. I have exactly one year left to go and am so happy with how things are working out right now. I can't believe I have be...	Breakingfree	17	679	Dec 22, 2014 by Jackie11
	Lost fiancée to alcohol, can't cope (Preview) In July 2014 my fiancée died as a result of his alcoholism. He was hospitalized for exactly 2 months. He was in liver failure. Steve & I had been high school sweethearts. We dated for 8 yrs, through college. I was the first girl he ever loved. I was the first girl he ever made love to. We grew apar...	1stLoveLastLove	4	622	Dec 22, 2014 by milkwood
	is this a new trick? (Preview) My husband has said he wants to they inpatient rehab. He thinks he is too weak to do aa again as a free person. Is this a new trick? His reason he says is our family. Particularly daddies girl, who truly is very attached to both of us and her family in general. I'm too raw to know how to respond to this. Though...	aquamom23	11	630	Dec 22, 2014 by tiredtonite
	New to Al-Anon (Preview) I'm codependent. I've been to several meetings and listen to several podcast and reading the literature. I'm understanding the importance of one day at a time. I know I will never change him. I'm taking advice to not make any decisions now and just work on me but I believe we will be splitting up afte...	robinfl	3	498	Dec 22, 2014 by neshema2
	looking after yourself (Preview) Its a new thing to me, looking after myself properly. When i pay attention and do it right its more than just the basics. Good personal hygiene, eating well, avoiding foods that are bad for me, exercising. Its the little things that tell me im working it or not. Like doing my hair and make up everyday reg...	el-cee	12	602	Dec 21, 2014 by PP
	Turning him over.... (Preview) I got an e-mail from the ex-A today. I am hurting him and our son .... Blah, blah, blah .....I read it and thought for the first time ... This is so not my issue. It is not my job to smooth this over "for my son". My job is to get some rest and be the best version of myself I can be. I use to feel crazy...	Truth	10	679	Dec 21, 2014 by Jerry F
	New Here, and Need a Bit of Help (Preview) Hello Everyone, I am very happy to have found this forum; I am living with an alcoholic spouse and it's finally beginning to take a toll on me. I am mentally exhausted, and of course physically as well. It's been a battle, and I've been doing research into how to really help; however, I know that I sometim...	son74	5	631	Dec 21, 2014 by Lucers73
	New member not sure about Christmas with Alcoholic Father new member christmas alcoholic father (Preview) Hi everyone and thanks for access to a group I feel I will learn alot from. I am a 40yo single woman feeling anxious about going home for Christmas to my alcoholic father. He explodes with rage about small things and is verbally abusive to my Mum intermittently whenever I visit them together or they visi...	Holly111	2	6645	Dec 21, 2014 by hotrod
	Advice on family (Preview) Hi all and happy holiday. My AH gets out of rehab the 27th of this month. I am doing a lot if soul searching and to be honest I am not sure how to deal with our families while my ah and I try and figure out how and if we stay together. What I didn't realize is how our parents are so against us getting back together....	Helpangel	3	433	Dec 21, 2014 by Breakingfree
	Thursday night drunk texts from the exAH and..... (Preview) So while I was studying my heart out for that last final and freaking out about my boyfriends ex-wife stopping by with their 11 year old, my exAH started texting kind of late when we were headed to bed. My girls are headed up by him tomorrow for Christmas, the 3 of us all are now all on break from school, I hop...	Breakingfree	7	695	Dec 21, 2014 by Debilyn
	da boys (Preview) sucker sign was on. creator put me in their path. people had twins with serious health problems.....sooooo here are da boys. Leonard and Reegan Nothing makes me feel better than doing a rescue, that and being kissed...... -- Edited by Debilyn on Saturday 20th of December 2014 05:35:12 PM	Debilyn	11	721	Dec 21, 2014 by grateful2be
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.