Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Morning MIP- This reading is about how our sense of responsibility can become inflated to the point that we are resentful for all that we do (even if we are the ones insisting on doing everything!). I mentioned in an earlier post that my first experience with this feeling was as a child--I am the younge...

ladybugnessa · ladybugnessa

We had our first gaming convention this weekend. At a hotel, with a bar. Standard practice in the past was to bring his own scotch and get beer at the bar. He had not had any cravings till Friday night. Hubby had a craving for a drink after a stressful board game. I WAS not there. He does not have a s...

missmeliss · missmeliss

All has been right with my world today. I woke late (daughter is away this weekend). Did 2 assignments over coffee and then a bit of housework and then I remembered my self-care commitment so I got into the bath (believe it or not, I have been in this house for 6 weeks now yet this was STILL my FIRST BATH IN 5 Y...

Alma Daigle · Alma Daigle

There are only three people I have told about my husband's problem. I can barely admit it to myself most days. We"ll have a good stretch of time and I think, well maybe the worst is over, and then something happens and I feel upset again. Last night we were home watching TV and his eyes got red and I fel...

Flower49 · Flower49

Hi everyone, it's been sometime since I have been to the boards and I can definitely tell I have been missing you all! My Dad passed away last weekend and his funeral was Wednesday March 11, ironically that was his bday, so he got his wish that we had a party for him. I delivered his eulogy and was pleasantl...

el-cee · el-cee

Does being married or living with another person mean we have the right to insist they change, get sober, behave in a certain way? what if the mistake was ours in the first place? I mean we meet a person, build up our idea of who that person is, build our own expectations around how that person will behave,...

gar1967 · gar1967

I had trouble registering, so I decided to try again and repost my message. Thank you to all who responded to earlier message.I am new to this site and i have no idea where to start. I find it hard to open up to strangers about my toxic family issues. I just don't know where to begin.I too read the "Laun...

Chelseacat44 · Chelseacat44

Hey I'm kinda new here but I'm Chelsea and I'm 16. I don't get along with my mom at all now and moved in with my dad two years ago because of her extreme drinking problem. she has been drinking since before she had me but has gradually got worse, to the point where me and dad never tell her if I have a parents eve...

mjferg · mjferg

I realize my landlady has all the abusive characteristics of my ex,I am starting the process to have justice served.After class today I am making some phone calls.I have local numbers I am going to call to complain and see if I have a civil case for trespassing.I know it will be stressful and I am going to...

MarieMcD · MarieMcD

My husband just got out of the hospital 3 days ago for alcohol withdrawals. He was withdrawing from alcohol because he goes through detox at home. He was experiencing DTs for the first time in his life. It was scary and I almost had to commit him to psychiatric help. Anyway, we've been doing well for 3 day...

lockecole · lockecole

Hello, I'm not sure of where else to turn at this point. My brother-in-law's wife has been dealing with severe alcoholism for many years now. Things became quite bad almost five years ago. She suffered from withdrawal and was in a medically induced coma for almost a month and nearly died. Since then s...

hotrod · hotrod

I loved today's reading in the ODAT It points out that attending Al-Anon meetings is extremely important to growth in Al-Anon. It suggests that when we first begin attending meetings, we find a safe place to share and it feels good to do so. After a while, it is important to note that complaining abo...

missmeliss · missmeliss

My mother drove here yesterday...in my new car!! It's so much newer and shinier than I imagined, it has barely been used by the previous owner. I was almost in a bit of shock when I first laid eyes on it, I've never owned anything new and nice before really. Haha, yes, me who doesn't want or value posession...

mjferg · mjferg

Some of you know I have been having problems with my landlady,basically she is a slumlord and doesn't fix anything.She intimidates people with her anger and threatens you with eviction.The people who live here are afraid of her and they just keep quiet to have peace.I stood up to her about some things...

el-cee · el-cee

Its mothers day here and its a good time to reflect on what it means to be a mother and to have a mother in our lives. My own mother has been dead for over 10 years now and im a different person to the person she knew. I imagine our relationship would be a good one, i have accepted my mother and her flaws and the gi...

MarieMcD · MarieMcD

I love my husband with all my heart. When he is sober, he is the most loving, kind, sweet, compassionate person. We have been together for 4 years, and I knew he was an alcoholic after about the first 6 months. We lived together for the first few years prior to marriage, and it's rough to have the "par...

hotrod · hotrod

The ODA T reading for today is extremely powerful. It points out that many of us have lost our faith and belief in prayer, and that sometimes we reach a point where we cry out in anguish, begging an unknown power to relieve us of our burden. The reading goes on to explain that we are imprisoned by our own...

gabigail · gabigail

I don't know a lot about how alcohol affects the health of the addict. I have been dealing with for a couple of months much more than my spouse's addiction. Lately, she hasn't been eating (at least not in front of me) and I know in spite of being sick (throwing up constantly, diarrhea, stomach cramps,...

Skorpi · Skorpi

So, I have been struggling with the line between enabling and controlling lately. A while back, someone asked me to think about the line between compassion and enabling, and I have been thinking on that ever since. On the surface, things sounds really clear. Not enabling is not condoning behavior,...

ladybugnessa · ladybugnessa

I came to Al-anon to figure out how to deal with my AH. Like all of us. I fought it. the first time I went to one meeting and I hated it that was a couple of years ago. Life might have been different if I had done it right then and stuck around and shopped for meetings... but I didn't. I went I listened an...

paango · paango

I am a newbie, and have been lurking in the background. Reading your posts throughout the day gets me by when I'm working and can't get to a meeting. I had a difficult time talking to him when I visited him in rehab. He didn't want to talk about the program or his progress - just that he was busy and he had to...

Theoceancalls · Theoceancalls

well, i hve posted thoughts on this topic before but find i need to revisit it again , bc although im getting off the roller coaster from last week there are always more rides to come. . this week its sex. something i dont talk about well and according to my ah, im lousy at and completly uninterested in. (ok...

hotrod · hotrod

Today's reading in the C2C talks about Step 7 and focuses on the word HUMBLE. It reminds us that many times we view this word as a negative, tearful, embarrassing experience but that being humble can actually be accomplished with humor and joy. It builds on the reading this week that spoke about...

lgnutah · lgnutah

I know AlAnon is for people whose lives are affected by Alcoholism...but I think this means the Alcoholic is still alive. What organization (online or other) is there for those whose relative succumbed to the disease? Grief support groups generally seem to be geared toward a different kind of death...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Spent yesterday afternoon partly in the ER. I've been having head aches for just over 3 months. Yesterday was severe and the VA wasn't open just the Hospital ER. They did the needles and tests and then CRT or what ever. My headaches yesterday were off the scale and I couldn't wait for the VA on the 1...

hotrod · hotrod

http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t59808974/tradition-4-alanon/

Jazzie18 · Jazzie18

My husband finally admitted that he is an alcholic. This was a big step for him but it was a long time coming. Over this past weekend he drank so much vodka that he was out of control. I took the kids and left and then he admitted it to me that night. He surprised me yesterday and went to an AA meeting where h...

Irish7 · Irish7

I was listening to a speaker on a tape AA or Al Anon-- I cannot recall which) who said that every time she has trouble accepting something it is because she is longing for a choice that isn't available. This really resonated with me!

Jazzie18 · Jazzie18

I was so excited when he went to his second meeting last night. Not too excited when he came home asking to have a beer. I told him I didn't think it was a good idea and he went ahead and had a beer with dinner. It was so hard for me to not be super pissed at him. I told him that I was really proud of him for going...

Cooper · Cooper

I won't rehash all the issues I have had with my son the last few years but his drinking and drug use is well known in our family and his moms family yet people still want to feed the animal. I just saw a FaceBook posting from my daughter, she and my son were at their moms house for a dinner. In the picture...

hotrod · hotrod

The Courage to Change reading for today presents the idea of detachment in a very simple format. It states that Detachment with love simply means that I stop depending on what others do, say or feel to determine my own well-being, or make my decisions.When faced with others destructive attitudes an...

Mirandac · Mirandac

i have been feeling pushed and i do not like the feeling. I have a tendency to push back. My ah is pushing my buttons for pre settlement money, selling the house immediately and he wants to move on. Ah is unwilling to split assets or pay spousal support. We have a high monthly mtg and payments. They are...

hotrod · hotrod

The reading in the C2C today is very applicable. It talks about MMOB and uses humor to address this difficult defect that I had so much trouble shedding.The reading suggests that laughter and humor are extremely important in facing ourselves and the mistakes we make because it makes frailties...

Skorpi · Skorpi

Hi everyone, Well, my day got more difficult, and I am having trouble processing. Again. I was at work, called my wife on my way to my second job. She was out walking our new-to-us dog. (She has been with us about 5 days now, came to us instead of being destroyed, and is the most mild-mannered, sweet dog y...

el-cee · el-cee

The little alanon pamphlet called detachment has been very important to me. It was one of the first things i read and one of the first things that gave me that moment of wow, this is it, this is what i need to do. At first, it went against every idea i was brought up to believe. The influences in my life, my mot...

Truth · Truth

Okay so I really did not expect anything different so I am not hurt or upset. I am wondering what is a healthy way to respond when you have discovered someone has mislead you by leaving out important information that would have changed your decision.

Bloodshotbetty · Bloodshotbetty

As I have mentioned before,my AH drove drunk and flipped our car with us in it. Since then, many members of my family have not wanted contact with him. Which I understand. I have a niece and nephew who are the light of my world. My sister told me she doesn't want my AH around the kids. I have regular sle...

Irish7 · Irish7

I've been going to f2f al anon meetings for 3 months and am working the program very intently. I've also been listening to speaker tapes daily, and it get so much from them. I attend an open AA meeting each week, which helps me develop compassion that I lacked here at home with AH and alcoholic stepson (I t...

mersi · mersi

Hallo I would like to ask you, other adult children of alcoholics how do u feel and how is your life like???do u also feel often sad and depressed?like u dont know where u going in life and what u want and who u really are?my life is full of ups and downs and i have mood swings and terrible feelings of isolatio...

mercedes1959 · mercedes1959

I have been finding that I am back to that bad habit of concentrating on others way too much. I have decided to go back to two hobbies I used to have. I am going to gardening programs, want to someday get my master gardener designation, I have been to two programs, a fruit tree sale and have two programs to go...

WorkingThroughIt · WorkingThroughIt

I've heard in meetings lately "My thinking can kill me." Please share what that means to you, and what you do about it. Thank you.

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good Morning MIP: The focus of today's reading is the slogan "Live And Let Live". The writer admits not being completely comfortable with the phrase, until an Alanon speaker compared it to working his own plot of land (his 'emotional acre') and not trying to tend other people's. This me...

Skorpi · Skorpi

Hi Everyone, It has been close to a month since my wife wrecked her car, and I feel like my journey with Alanon has been extremely positive and productive so far. I have been working on detachment, and letting my wife make her own decisions and be responsible for those decisions. While I make my own dec...

likemyheart · likemyheart

And I didn't have to do anything to make it so - Its early March and our temp was in the mid-sixties; I spent a lot of time yesterday and today trimming that in my yard that needed trimming and then, this morning found me burning burning burning it to my heart's content. Nearing the end of the pyromaniac hou...

hotrod · hotrod

The ODA T reading for today is really powerful and thought provoking. It speaks about one of the symptoms of living with the disease of alcoholism.--- which is an attack of anger. It defines this attack as an "uncontrollable impulse to judge and condemn someone". In this explosion. I am re...

sweeetr · sweeetr

I always come back for guidance. My life has been going well last few months. Unbeleivably well actually. My ex AH has been tying his life up with legal probs, rehabs and jail for breaking probation requirements with more DWI's. BTW ... the abilility to buy out (have disposed) DWI's in Tx is unnerving!...

Smiley99 · Smiley99

Yesterday, my husband brought hard liquor in to our home, which is something I have told him many times is unacceptable to me. He tends to become verbally abusive after consuming hard liquor and it is very upsetting even though I try to detatch. It happens every time he touches the stuff. Anyway, he...

Debb · Debb

I had an epiphany and wanted to share, because when you have suffered for a long period of time and have emerged a better person, the need to share becomes very important and the part of the last step in the Al-Anon protocol. I am not a very verbose person so you may find this short and sweet, but very to the...

Beatrice · Beatrice

I'm doing good. Sorry I have been remiss . I've been attending school to get my certification to be an Alcohol and Drug counselor. That's where I have been. Loving it... We are all counselor's here on this board with much experience and knowledge. Hope this finds you all doing well and living it every da...

lgnutah · lgnutah

I know I am not supposed to be trying to fix my Alcoholic, nor do I think I am in any way responsible for my A's choices. But if I feel annoyed at their repetitious blaming, negativity, and bad decisions.....does that mean I have not let go? Does anyone ever get to the point where the A' blaming, negati...

MeTwo2 · MeTwo2

just came from a meeting and was listening to the opening read: changed attitudes can aid recovery .. I began to think about power .. there's never been a time in my life when I was powerless . either I had the power to crush me or effect another in a negative way or the balance was that once I got in recovery,...

Jme · Jme

My husband has 18 months sobriety and for the first time in an 8 year struggle is active in AA, has a sponsor, is working the steps and is make amends. This has been the best 18 months of our marriage and I am finally starting to trust him again and he has repaired so much damage done over the years. For the l...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

I had a lovely conversation last night with a lovely man and I actually think I was being hit on .. lol. Seriously speaking not something I'm usually aware of if and when it does happen. At least he's not married .. lol . well I haven't gotten that full story yet. I know he's in transition. The statemen...

LinSC · LinSC

I just want to say there are some good people on this board, people who are trying there best to recover in Al-Anon. And being careful not to hurt others in the process, people who think first before reacting to keep the peace. Gentle lovers as Jerry might agree. All in all making the earth where ever you a...

hotrod · hotrod

Daylight savings time, went into effect last night here in New York City. It is difficult to get used to, but I love the increased daylight in the mornings and evening. The C2 C reading for today is a great reminder of an important reason for attending meetings or even coming here to MIP. to post or s...

mjferg · mjferg

I received some bad news,I will be losing half of my income soon!I don't know how I am going to make it.I am going to have to move and I don't know if I am emotionally ready for the stress.I am really worried about keeping up with school during the process of moving.I am so tired it seems like I constantly str...

Truth · Truth

Today I have to surrender and let go ... It kind of sucks when your HP teaches you things and then you can see what is going on and want to force the lesson on others. All in due time or maybe never, my part is just to say no.

missmeliss · missmeliss

When last I posted here, A had been staying over and making himself indispensable. I mean he was, for a couple of weeks, really, really nice. Nicer and more helpful to me than he has been. quite literally, EVER. And I was thinking well, hey, maybe? Of course it deteriorated, he started trying to enforce...

a4l · a4l

well I'm back and hopefully still welcome. I was aqua mom: I took a break for reasons all my own. I return to think on making amends. Many thoughts. My f2f group is a true balm, yet I found a connection here via writing and reading that I really connect with. And I miss everyone, Hotrod,my hero, Jerry,who s...

el-cee · el-cee

Todays reading is about beauty and how living with alcoholism can mean we have a negative self defeating attitude and dont see the beauty in ourselves. It talks about how changing our negative attitude into a positive makes us more beautiful human beings. Living with love and gratitude brings out ou...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	HFT Mar 17 (Preview) Morning MIP- This reading is about how our sense of responsibility can become inflated to the point that we are resentful for all that we do (even if we are the ones insisting on doing everything!). I mentioned in an earlier post that my first experience with this feeling was as a child--I am the younge...	yanksfan51	1	376	Mar 17, 2015 by hotrod
	Firsts for him, first for me (Preview) We had our first gaming convention this weekend. At a hotel, with a bar. Standard practice in the past was to bring his own scotch and get beer at the bar. He had not had any cravings till Friday night. Hubby had a craving for a drink after a stressful board game. I WAS not there. He does not have a s...	ladybugnessa	9	581	Mar 17, 2015 by ladybugnessa
	One of those days that just works. (Preview) All has been right with my world today. I woke late (daughter is away this weekend). Did 2 assignments over coffee and then a bit of housework and then I remembered my self-care commitment so I got into the bath (believe it or not, I have been in this house for 6 weeks now yet this was STILL my FIRST BATH IN 5 Y...	missmeliss	9	657	Mar 16, 2015 by a4l
	Still in denial (Preview) There are only three people I have told about my husband's problem. I can barely admit it to myself most days. We"ll have a good stretch of time and I think, well maybe the worst is over, and then something happens and I feel upset again. Last night we were home watching TV and his eyes got red and I fel...	Alma Daigle	5	470	Mar 16, 2015 by Fairlee
	Dad passed (Preview) Hi everyone, it's been sometime since I have been to the boards and I can definitely tell I have been missing you all! My Dad passed away last weekend and his funeral was Wednesday March 11, ironically that was his bday, so he got his wish that we had a party for him. I delivered his eulogy and was pleasantl...	Flower49	12	499	Mar 16, 2015 by Fairlee
	do we have the right to insist or expect sobriety? (Preview) Does being married or living with another person mean we have the right to insist they change, get sober, behave in a certain way? what if the mistake was ours in the first place? I mean we meet a person, build up our idea of who that person is, build our own expectations around how that person will behave,...	el-cee	23	833	Mar 16, 2015 by a4l
	Hello - Repost (Preview) I had trouble registering, so I decided to try again and repost my message. Thank you to all who responded to earlier message.I am new to this site and i have no idea where to start. I find it hard to open up to strangers about my toxic family issues. I just don't know where to begin.I too read the "Laun...	gar1967	7	439	Mar 16, 2015 by Mirandac
	Extremely alcoholic mum alcoholism alcohol alcoholic parent mom (Preview) Hey I'm kinda new here but I'm Chelsea and I'm 16. I don't get along with my mom at all now and moved in with my dad two years ago because of her extreme drinking problem. she has been drinking since before she had me but has gradually got worse, to the point where me and dad never tell her if I have a parents eve...	Chelseacat44	7	8232	Mar 16, 2015 by Chelseacat44
	asking for prayers and encouragement!!! (Preview) I realize my landlady has all the abusive characteristics of my ex,I am starting the process to have justice served.After class today I am making some phone calls.I have local numbers I am going to call to complain and see if I have a civil case for trespassing.I know it will be stressful and I am going to...	mjferg	5	358	Mar 16, 2015 by el-cee
	SO OVERWHELMED (Preview) My husband just got out of the hospital 3 days ago for alcohol withdrawals. He was withdrawing from alcohol because he goes through detox at home. He was experiencing DTs for the first time in his life. It was scary and I almost had to commit him to psychiatric help. Anyway, we've been doing well for 3 day...	MarieMcD	5	537	Mar 15, 2015 by Lyne
	Alcoholic Wife of Brother-in-law affecting Children alcoholic mother suicide suicidal runaway (Preview) Hello, I'm not sure of where else to turn at this point. My brother-in-law's wife has been dealing with severe alcoholism for many years now. Things became quite bad almost five years ago. She suffered from withdrawal and was in a medically induced coma for almost a month and nearly died. Since then s...	lockecole	6	3449	Mar 15, 2015 by Chelseacat44
	ODAT 3-15 (Preview) I loved today's reading in the ODAT It points out that attending Al-Anon meetings is extremely important to growth in Al-Anon. It suggests that when we first begin attending meetings, we find a safe place to share and it feels good to do so. After a while, it is important to note that complaining abo...	hotrod	2	388	Mar 15, 2015 by hotrod
	Lots and lots of gratitudes. (Preview) My mother drove here yesterday...in my new car!! It's so much newer and shinier than I imagined, it has barely been used by the previous owner. I was almost in a bit of shock when I first laid eyes on it, I've never owned anything new and nice before really. Haha, yes, me who doesn't want or value posession...	missmeliss	6	649	Mar 15, 2015 by pinkchip
	too much stress! (Preview) Some of you know I have been having problems with my landlady,basically she is a slumlord and doesn't fix anything.She intimidates people with her anger and threatens you with eviction.The people who live here are afraid of her and they just keep quiet to have peace.I stood up to her about some things...	mjferg	15	592	Mar 15, 2015 by Skorpi
	happy mothers day uk (Preview) Its mothers day here and its a good time to reflect on what it means to be a mother and to have a mother in our lives. My own mother has been dead for over 10 years now and im a different person to the person she knew. I imagine our relationship would be a good one, i have accepted my mother and her flaws and the gi...	el-cee	2	426	Mar 15, 2015 by hotrod
	Wants Baby But Has Alcoholic Hubby (Preview) I love my husband with all my heart. When he is sober, he is the most loving, kind, sweet, compassionate person. We have been together for 4 years, and I knew he was an alcoholic after about the first 6 months. We lived together for the first few years prior to marriage, and it's rough to have the "par...	MarieMcD	14	711	Mar 15, 2015 by Kerrymom
	ODAT 3-14 (Preview) The ODA T reading for today is extremely powerful. It points out that many of us have lost our faith and belief in prayer, and that sometimes we reach a point where we cry out in anguish, begging an unknown power to relieve us of our burden. The reading goes on to explain that we are imprisoned by our own...	hotrod	7	484	Mar 14, 2015 by hotrod
	Concern about alcoholic's health (Preview) I don't know a lot about how alcohol affects the health of the addict. I have been dealing with for a couple of months much more than my spouse's addiction. Lately, she hasn't been eating (at least not in front of me) and I know in spite of being sick (throwing up constantly, diarrhea, stomach cramps,...	gabigail	7	737	Mar 14, 2015 by YARNCRAZY
	Enabling vs. Controlling (Preview) So, I have been struggling with the line between enabling and controlling lately. A while back, someone asked me to think about the line between compassion and enabling, and I have been thinking on that ever since. On the surface, things sounds really clear. Not enabling is not condoning behavior,...	Skorpi	5	664	Mar 14, 2015 by LedfootJenny
	Thank all of you! (Preview) I came to Al-anon to figure out how to deal with my AH. Like all of us. I fought it. the first time I went to one meeting and I hated it that was a couple of years ago. Life might have been different if I had done it right then and stuck around and shopped for meetings... but I didn't. I went I listened an...	ladybugnessa	5	640	Mar 14, 2015 by el-cee
	ABF coming out of rehab (Preview) I am a newbie, and have been lurking in the background. Reading your posts throughout the day gets me by when I'm working and can't get to a meeting. I had a difficult time talking to him when I visited him in rehab. He didn't want to talk about the program or his progress - just that he was busy and he had to...	paango	7	715	Mar 14, 2015 by el-cee
	Sex/intimacy and the alc marriage (Preview) well, i hve posted thoughts on this topic before but find i need to revisit it again , bc although im getting off the roller coaster from last week there are always more rides to come. . this week its sex. something i dont talk about well and according to my ah, im lousy at and completly uninterested in. (ok...	Theoceancalls	20	1227	Mar 14, 2015 by Mirandac
	C2C 3-13 (Preview) Today's reading in the C2C talks about Step 7 and focuses on the word HUMBLE. It reminds us that many times we view this word as a negative, tearful, embarrassing experience but that being humble can actually be accomplished with humor and joy. It builds on the reading this week that spoke about...	hotrod	3	415	Mar 13, 2015 by Skorpi
	Where can a person go for help when their loved one's Alcoholism/drug addiction results in lethal overdose? (Preview) I know AlAnon is for people whose lives are affected by Alcoholism...but I think this means the Alcoholic is still alive. What organization (online or other) is there for those whose relative succumbed to the disease? Grief support groups generally seem to be geared toward a different kind of death...	lgnutah	7	774	Mar 13, 2015 by lgnutah
	heads up (Preview) Spent yesterday afternoon partly in the ER. I've been having head aches for just over 3 months. Yesterday was severe and the VA wasn't open just the Hospital ER. They did the needles and tests and then CRT or what ever. My headaches yesterday were off the scale and I couldn't wait for the VA on the 1...	Jerry F	39	890	Mar 13, 2015 by Jerry F
	Tradition 4 posted (Preview) http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t59808974/tradition-4-alanon/	hotrod	0	717	Mar 13, 2015 by hotrod
	Can my husband get clean without going to rehab (Preview) My husband finally admitted that he is an alcholic. This was a big step for him but it was a long time coming. Over this past weekend he drank so much vodka that he was out of control. I took the kids and left and then he admitted it to me that night. He surprised me yesterday and went to an AA meeting where h...	Jazzie18	10	713	Mar 13, 2015 by Cooper
	A definition of acceptance (Preview) I was listening to a speaker on a tape AA or Al Anon-- I cannot recall which) who said that every time she has trouble accepting something it is because she is longing for a choice that isn't available. This really resonated with me!	Irish7	7	3474	Mar 12, 2015 by andromeda
	Husband went to his second AA meeting (Preview) I was so excited when he went to his second meeting last night. Not too excited when he came home asking to have a beer. I told him I didn't think it was a good idea and he went ahead and had a beer with dinner. It was so hard for me to not be super pissed at him. I told him that I was really proud of him for going...	Jazzie18	7	560	Mar 12, 2015 by Mattie
	Things that make you sigh... (Preview) I won't rehash all the issues I have had with my son the last few years but his drinking and drug use is well known in our family and his moms family yet people still want to feed the animal. I just saw a FaceBook posting from my daughter, she and my son were at their moms house for a dinner. In the picture...	Cooper	6	690	Mar 12, 2015 by Cooper
	C2C 3-12 (Preview) The Courage to Change reading for today presents the idea of detachment in a very simple format. It states that Detachment with love simply means that I stop depending on what others do, say or feel to determine my own well-being, or make my decisions.When faced with others destructive attitudes an...	hotrod	3	454	Mar 12, 2015 by Jerry F
	Feeling Pushed (Preview) i have been feeling pushed and i do not like the feeling. I have a tendency to push back. My ah is pushing my buttons for pre settlement money, selling the house immediately and he wants to move on. Ah is unwilling to split assets or pay spousal support. We have a high monthly mtg and payments. They are...	Mirandac	11	622	Mar 11, 2015 by Mirandac
	C2C 3 11 (Preview) The reading in the C2C today is very applicable. It talks about MMOB and uses humor to address this difficult defect that I had so much trouble shedding.The reading suggests that laughter and humor are extremely important in facing ourselves and the mistakes we make because it makes frailties...	hotrod	4	455	Mar 11, 2015 by hotrod
	Boundaries and a line in the sand? (Preview) Hi everyone, Well, my day got more difficult, and I am having trouble processing. Again. I was at work, called my wife on my way to my second job. She was out walking our new-to-us dog. (She has been with us about 5 days now, came to us instead of being destroyed, and is the most mild-mannered, sweet dog y...	Skorpi	20	873	Mar 11, 2015 by Mattie
	the myths about detaching (Preview) The little alanon pamphlet called detachment has been very important to me. It was one of the first things i read and one of the first things that gave me that moment of wow, this is it, this is what i need to do. At first, it went against every idea i was brought up to believe. The influences in my life, my mot...	el-cee	6	877	Mar 11, 2015 by DavidG
	Dealing with someone misleading you... (Preview) Okay so I really did not expect anything different so I am not hurt or upset. I am wondering what is a healthy way to respond when you have discovered someone has mislead you by leaving out important information that would have changed your decision.	Truth	14	878	Mar 10, 2015 by Truth
	Feeling sad about reaction from sister. (Preview) As I have mentioned before,my AH drove drunk and flipped our car with us in it. Since then, many members of my family have not wanted contact with him. Which I understand. I have a niece and nephew who are the light of my world. My sister told me she doesn't want my AH around the kids. I have regular sle...	Bloodshotbetty	15	826	Mar 10, 2015 by tiredtonite
	Is loss of interest typical as you work the al anon program? (Preview) I've been going to f2f al anon meetings for 3 months and am working the program very intently. I've also been listening to speaker tapes daily, and it get so much from them. I attend an open AA meeting each week, which helps me develop compassion that I lacked here at home with AH and alcoholic stepson (I t...	Irish7	12	665	Mar 10, 2015 by Fairlee
	AC O A (Preview) Hallo I would like to ask you, other adult children of alcoholics how do u feel and how is your life like???do u also feel often sad and depressed?like u dont know where u going in life and what u want and who u really are?my life is full of ups and downs and i have mood swings and terrible feelings of isolatio...	mersi	6	754	Mar 10, 2015 by LedfootJenny
	This is what I did for me today. (Preview) I have been finding that I am back to that bad habit of concentrating on others way too much. I have decided to go back to two hobbies I used to have. I am going to gardening programs, want to someday get my master gardener designation, I have been to two programs, a fruit tree sale and have two programs to go...	mercedes1959	19	662	Mar 10, 2015 by mercedes1959
	Our Thinking (Preview) I've heard in meetings lately "My thinking can kill me." Please share what that means to you, and what you do about it. Thank you.	WorkingThroughIt	8	573	Mar 10, 2015 by WorkingThroughIt
	Hope For Today Mar 10 (Preview) Good Morning MIP: The focus of today's reading is the slogan "Live And Let Live". The writer admits not being completely comfortable with the phrase, until an Alanon speaker compared it to working his own plot of land (his 'emotional acre') and not trying to tend other people's. This me...	yanksfan51	2	584	Mar 10, 2015 by hotrod
	Trying to stay off the roller-coaster (Preview) Hi Everyone, It has been close to a month since my wife wrecked her car, and I feel like my journey with Alanon has been extremely positive and productive so far. I have been working on detachment, and letting my wife make her own decisions and be responsible for those decisions. While I make my own dec...	Skorpi	4	1375	Mar 9, 2015 by Skorpi
	Today was a beautiful day (Preview) And I didn't have to do anything to make it so - Its early March and our temp was in the mid-sixties; I spent a lot of time yesterday and today trimming that in my yard that needed trimming and then, this morning found me burning burning burning it to my heart's content. Nearing the end of the pyromaniac hou...	likemyheart	4	620	Mar 9, 2015 by Breakingfree
	3-9 ODAT (Preview) The ODA T reading for today is really powerful and thought provoking. It speaks about one of the symptoms of living with the disease of alcoholism.--- which is an attack of anger. It defines this attack as an "uncontrollable impulse to judge and condemn someone". In this explosion. I am re...	hotrod	3	538	Mar 9, 2015 by Debb
	nightmares and fear upon my exAH being released from jail in next couple days #fearful #reopened old wounds (Preview) I always come back for guidance. My life has been going well last few months. Unbeleivably well actually. My ex AH has been tying his life up with legal probs, rehabs and jail for breaking probation requirements with more DWI's. BTW ... the abilility to buy out (have disposed) DWI's in Tx is unnerving!...	sweeetr	19	940	Mar 9, 2015 by sweeetr
	Am I setting boundaries or being controlling? (Preview) Yesterday, my husband brought hard liquor in to our home, which is something I have told him many times is unacceptable to me. He tends to become verbally abusive after consuming hard liquor and it is very upsetting even though I try to detatch. It happens every time he touches the stuff. Anyway, he...	Smiley99	6	513	Mar 9, 2015 by Jerry F
	Sharing My Epiphany (Preview) I had an epiphany and wanted to share, because when you have suffered for a long period of time and have emerged a better person, the need to share becomes very important and the part of the last step in the Al-Anon protocol. I am not a very verbose person so you may find this short and sweet, but very to the...	Debb	7	589	Mar 9, 2015 by Debb
	Hi All!! (Preview) I'm doing good. Sorry I have been remiss . I've been attending school to get my certification to be an Alcohol and Drug counselor. That's where I have been. Loving it... We are all counselor's here on this board with much experience and knowledge. Hope this finds you all doing well and living it every da...	Beatrice	5	544	Mar 9, 2015 by Beatrice
	Is feeling fed up with an Alcoholic's behavior a sign of progress or my inability to "let go"? (Preview) I know I am not supposed to be trying to fix my Alcoholic, nor do I think I am in any way responsible for my A's choices. But if I feel annoyed at their repetitious blaming, negativity, and bad decisions.....does that mean I have not let go? Does anyone ever get to the point where the A' blaming, negati...	lgnutah	12	703	Mar 9, 2015 by SunshineGirl
	changed attitudes .. power & Power .. just sharing & reflecting with coffee . (Preview) just came from a meeting and was listening to the opening read: changed attitudes can aid recovery .. I began to think about power .. there's never been a time in my life when I was powerless . either I had the power to crush me or effect another in a negative way or the balance was that once I got in recovery,...	MeTwo2	3	653	Mar 8, 2015 by hotrod
	18 months sober- now drinking O'douls (Preview) My husband has 18 months sobriety and for the first time in an 8 year struggle is active in AA, has a sponsor, is working the steps and is make amends. This has been the best 18 months of our marriage and I am finally starting to trust him again and he has repaired so much damage done over the years. For the l...	Jme	22	14053	Mar 8, 2015 by Mattie
	Calculated loss (Preview) I had a lovely conversation last night with a lovely man and I actually think I was being hit on .. lol. Seriously speaking not something I'm usually aware of if and when it does happen. At least he's not married .. lol . well I haven't gotten that full story yet. I know he's in transition. The statemen...	SerenityRUS	23	738	Mar 8, 2015 by SerenityRUS
	Great People (Preview) I just want to say there are some good people on this board, people who are trying there best to recover in Al-Anon. And being careful not to hurt others in the process, people who think first before reacting to keep the peace. Gentle lovers as Jerry might agree. All in all making the earth where ever you a...	LinSC	10	520	Mar 8, 2015 by el-cee
	C2C and ODAT 3- 8 (Preview) Daylight savings time, went into effect last night here in New York City. It is difficult to get used to, but I love the increased daylight in the mornings and evening. The C2 C reading for today is a great reminder of an important reason for attending meetings or even coming here to MIP. to post or s...	hotrod	1	265	Mar 8, 2015 by KennyFenderjazz
	uphill battle (Preview) I received some bad news,I will be losing half of my income soon!I don't know how I am going to make it.I am going to have to move and I don't know if I am emotionally ready for the stress.I am really worried about keeping up with school during the process of moving.I am so tired it seems like I constantly str...	mjferg	4	415	Mar 8, 2015 by mjferg
	Surrender (Preview) Today I have to surrender and let go ... It kind of sucks when your HP teaches you things and then you can see what is going on and want to force the lesson on others. All in due time or maybe never, my part is just to say no.	Truth	5	558	Mar 7, 2015 by Debb
	Talk about wow! (Preview) When last I posted here, A had been staying over and making himself indispensable. I mean he was, for a couple of weeks, really, really nice. Nicer and more helpful to me than he has been. quite literally, EVER. And I was thinking well, hey, maybe? Of course it deteriorated, he started trying to enforce...	missmeliss	19	880	Mar 7, 2015 by Debb
	time to think (Preview) well I'm back and hopefully still welcome. I was aqua mom: I took a break for reasons all my own. I return to think on making amends. Many thoughts. My f2f group is a true balm, yet I found a connection here via writing and reading that I really connect with. And I miss everyone, Hotrod,my hero, Jerry,who s...	a4l	8	521	Mar 7, 2015 by Debb
	c2c 7th march-beauty (Preview) Todays reading is about beauty and how living with alcoholism can mean we have a negative self defeating attitude and dont see the beauty in ourselves. It talks about how changing our negative attitude into a positive makes us more beautiful human beings. Living with love and gratitude brings out ou...	el-cee	4	376	Mar 7, 2015 by Debb
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.