Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

hotrod · hotrod

C2C reading for today speaks about the Al-Anon fourth step, bookL":Blueprint for Progress."and explained the chapter which is entitled self-worth. The meditation points out that we have probably always measured our self-worth and value by our accomplishment or what others have t...

Skorpi · Skorpi

Hi All, I think that I have been making progress with detaching, with not engaging, with not arguing, and with setting boundaries. I remember some people said that my wife would probably react negatively to this at first, and I sure am seeing that now. I think, for the last few weeks, that I was just se...

el-cee · el-cee

Here in the uk there are a few different news channels, there is one that is pretty dire, like a tabloid newspaper, sensationalist and dramatic, another presents itself as serious and balanced but it skirts the issues, ignores or only just touches on the important stuff. Then there is channel 4, its l...

Mirandac · Mirandac

I am getting close to a settlement and divorce. Ah is finally getting ready to deal. He would not before hoping he could squeeze me. I am a lot stronger now and standing my ground. I was the wild card He was hoping to take advantage Of And push around. I have a good Divorce lawyer. I am still being lenient bu...

WorkingThroughIt · WorkingThroughIt

I was born like all of you in a pure, natural state, borned perfectly as God wanted me to be out of His vision for me and His love for me. I was also born into an emotionally dishonest and dysfunctional family and society. Although I cannot remember it, probably by the time I was 4, I had learned what to do in o...

4myboys · 4myboys

Today is a not so good day. I keep replaying the last few conversations me and my ah had. It's driving me insane. What if I made a mistake leaving? What if he really was trying to make things work? What if I'm wrong? Everyday I have a storm of emotions racing through me. But mostly regret. Just 3 weeks ago he d...

marska57 · marska57

I am familiar with the Al-Anon and AA principles as I have gone through this with my ex-husband-- but I need advice on how to introduce my youngest daughter (25- who I will call EM) and my (current) husband (DH) to these principles to help them cope with JM. When I was actively involved with Al-Anon I wen...

Mike B · Mike B

Good morning, New to Alanon, but not MIP. Well, the struggles of my teens(2) drug use has worn me down. I removed my daughter from my house on 1/1/2015. My sons(16) use progressed to a daily basis. The symptoms are all there: lying, isolating, anger and his world getting smaller. He can't wait for me t...

Skorpi · Skorpi

Under the topic of graduation: My committee members, time, date, and location are set, and after spending an hour with a writing tutor, I now have great (or at least better) chapter titles! Yay!

pinkchip · pinkchip

Sometimes it actually helps me to view myself as the star of my own reality show. It may sound conceited but it helps in some ways if I think: 1. This is my show so I better make it interesting. 2. Each day is a new episode and the plot can change and get better each week. 3. I'm the star and producer so I can...

Skorpi · Skorpi

Well, Monday. I remind myself first what I said about the reading this morning. I cannot expect perfection from myself, and steps in the right direction are successes. I also cannot expect perfection from my wife, and steps in the right direction, like not drinking over the weekend, are also success...

YARNCRAZY · YARNCRAZY

AH CAME HOME FROM REHAB LAST NIGHT. OUR INSURANCE WOULDNT ALLOW MORE THAN 30 DAYS AND WE CANT AFFORD A FANCY PRIVATE REHAB. I FEEL KINDA STRANGE WHICH MY SPONSER SAID I WOULD. TRYING TO USE THE SKILLS/TOOLS I LEARN AT ALANON. I FEEL KINDA NUMB ABOUT HIM..MAYBE I JUST NEED SOME TIME TO SEE THAT HE IS DOING HI...

Helpangel · Helpangel

Good morning everyone. I just need to rant my ah has been sober about 100 days. Up until 2 weeks ago I has set to leave him. I went crying to our therapist and mad as heck and told her that is it. He was grumpy and mean everyday and I just couldn't take it anymore. Amazingly she met with him the next day and he cha...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

Things have been so crazy busy lately, some in a good way some in a not so good way. My life feels a little like a I Love Lucy Reboot 2015 probably PG13/R version. Seriously if this hadn't happened to me I wouldn't believe it. A couple weekends ago I left my house without children in it for once and headed...

texann1 · texann1

you can't hold someone down without staying down with them.

Luiza · Luiza

So after 6 months separation and after all he put me through, exAH sends me a txt last night saying: "I miss you" Well he didn't miss me during my pregnancy when I was lonely and down all the time, worrying myself sick about our future and finances whilst he was either drinking at the pub or slee...

4myboys · 4myboys

I recently made the choice of ending my relationship with my husband of 18 years. He is an alcoholic. I feel like I have failed and given up on him. I couldn't take the drinking anymore. After all these years of everything we lost and abuse,lying,binges and worst of all constantly putting our kids in dan...

John · John

John · John

create a world of gratitude...

Skorpi · Skorpi

And today, while I was considering how my wife seems to have this desperate need to be in communication with me at all points of the day the brilliance of modern technology appeared to me. Usually, I have a chat window open with her to tell her important things like: I got to the office safe. I will be away...

missmeliss · missmeliss

Since I received my new car, A has been sending me a lot of messages, which I have been ignoring. They all basically say "I want to get a job but I can't work without a car. it sucks sucks SUCKS, life is so unfair". Now he hasn't applied for a job since he quit his old one almost a year ago....after u...

missmeliss · missmeliss

I've been busy this week, busier than I have been for years. Happy busy, I like what I am doing, my routine, and the home I relax in at night. But I have noticed that with a new busy lifestyle, and being away from my child, pets, home and comfort zone during the day, quite a few "pre-alanon" habit...

LedfootJenny · LedfootJenny

Hi everyone! I'm back into my program after an absence and relapse. My current job and health make it really challenging to get to meetings with any predictability. I understand their importance and power and continue to try to find a way to make that happen. But what I'm wondering is - in the meanti...

hotrod · hotrod

Courage to Change reading for a few days ago speaks about how our progress in Al-Anon often appears slow. It points out that if we expect all our our negative attitudes to be removed instantly,we have unrealistic expectations..The reading goes on to point out that the best way to measure our progress...

Gailsy · Gailsy

Lately I have been feeling a lot of resentments with people in my life. Those feelings are putting me in a bad place. I have been trying very hard to turn them over to God. This morning I was able to pray for the people that are the source of my resentments. I realize that they are untreated alanon people. I p...

ladybugnessa · ladybugnessa

the man actually apologized to me for losing his temper. Yay!

drywit44 · drywit44

Someone told me, I think that it was on this board but I can't be sure, that because of my wife's being a long-timer in Al an, that I am eligible, even though my family lacks any addict or abuser. I've had my own therapy for 100 years so am skeptical of my need or potential benefit from going a 12 step route. ...

pamala · pamala

I am rather new to all of this, so I was wondering if someone can explain the term "dry drunk" to me. I am hoping my 26 year old daughter stops drinking and gets her life on track, but will it just be her not drinking but still having the same issues with her? What will she have to lie about if she'...

hotrod · hotrod

The Courage to Change today speaks about progress not perfection. It reinforces the idea that Al-Anon works slowly and surely as we use the tools each day one day at a time. The reading points out that many times we have unhealthy attitudes as to how quickly we should grow and change, and become disappo...

Truth · Truth

I woke up this morning ... Read a bit sat in silence and realized I am happy where I am. I am single, a mom, love my son and my job

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

This is bold & proud! I am so grateful for everyone in my life who have been w/ me through the ups & downs. I hope that in the future there will be more ups than downs just so I can help another struggling Al anon member or anyone who has difficulties that can't deal w/them on their own. I am a prime exa...

hotrod · hotrod

Happy St. Patrick's Day to all

serenity47 · serenity47

I feel like I have I made some progress in the last few months regarding my 19 year old AD. I am practicing self care again (used to be really good at this prior to addictions entering my life). I have been reading a lot of the literature, trying to use the slogans that I find helpful and practicing detach...

CoopsMom · CoopsMom

I decided that this week I would take some steps to detach when AH calls me during the day to rant and rave about anything and everything. The way I have handled it in the past was to try to counsel him, try to help him strategize ways to deal with problems, or issues at work, I would try whatever I could to tr...

ladybugnessa · ladybugnessa

I have never called anyone from my f2f meetings. I have missed the one meeting I started at (where the woman I plan to ask to be one of my sponsors is at) for tw0 weeks due to being sick etc. I want to go tomorrow night but I will not have my car. My AH does not like the AA meeting that is held at the same tim...

LedfootJenny · LedfootJenny

Hi MIP! My AH's dad ( who is an active long time drinker) has been married for 30 years to a woman who is physically abusive. Friday night she pummeled him pretty good - apparently because he was drinking. His head is swollen and it looks like she was especially brutal. So clearly - these are two sick p...

ladybugnessa · ladybugnessa

I want to share how much peace the title of this post brings me now. every time my Idiot AH says something that I know is wrong (today it was that ZICAM makes my very bad cold worse) I say "thanks honey You may be right let me think about it" and I go on my way. all the while I'm thinking about...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Morning MIP- This reading is about how our sense of responsibility can become inflated to the point that we are resentful for all that we do (even if we are the ones insisting on doing everything!). I mentioned in an earlier post that my first experience with this feeling was as a child--I am the younge...

ladybugnessa · ladybugnessa

We had our first gaming convention this weekend. At a hotel, with a bar. Standard practice in the past was to bring his own scotch and get beer at the bar. He had not had any cravings till Friday night. Hubby had a craving for a drink after a stressful board game. I WAS not there. He does not have a s...

missmeliss · missmeliss

All has been right with my world today. I woke late (daughter is away this weekend). Did 2 assignments over coffee and then a bit of housework and then I remembered my self-care commitment so I got into the bath (believe it or not, I have been in this house for 6 weeks now yet this was STILL my FIRST BATH IN 5 Y...

Alma Daigle · Alma Daigle

There are only three people I have told about my husband's problem. I can barely admit it to myself most days. We"ll have a good stretch of time and I think, well maybe the worst is over, and then something happens and I feel upset again. Last night we were home watching TV and his eyes got red and I fel...

Flower49 · Flower49

Hi everyone, it's been sometime since I have been to the boards and I can definitely tell I have been missing you all! My Dad passed away last weekend and his funeral was Wednesday March 11, ironically that was his bday, so he got his wish that we had a party for him. I delivered his eulogy and was pleasantl...

el-cee · el-cee

Does being married or living with another person mean we have the right to insist they change, get sober, behave in a certain way? what if the mistake was ours in the first place? I mean we meet a person, build up our idea of who that person is, build our own expectations around how that person will behave,...

gar1967 · gar1967

I had trouble registering, so I decided to try again and repost my message. Thank you to all who responded to earlier message.I am new to this site and i have no idea where to start. I find it hard to open up to strangers about my toxic family issues. I just don't know where to begin.I too read the "Laun...

Chelseacat44 · Chelseacat44

Hey I'm kinda new here but I'm Chelsea and I'm 16. I don't get along with my mom at all now and moved in with my dad two years ago because of her extreme drinking problem. she has been drinking since before she had me but has gradually got worse, to the point where me and dad never tell her if I have a parents eve...

mjferg · mjferg

I realize my landlady has all the abusive characteristics of my ex,I am starting the process to have justice served.After class today I am making some phone calls.I have local numbers I am going to call to complain and see if I have a civil case for trespassing.I know it will be stressful and I am going to...

MarieMcD · MarieMcD

My husband just got out of the hospital 3 days ago for alcohol withdrawals. He was withdrawing from alcohol because he goes through detox at home. He was experiencing DTs for the first time in his life. It was scary and I almost had to commit him to psychiatric help. Anyway, we've been doing well for 3 day...

lockecole · lockecole

Hello, I'm not sure of where else to turn at this point. My brother-in-law's wife has been dealing with severe alcoholism for many years now. Things became quite bad almost five years ago. She suffered from withdrawal and was in a medically induced coma for almost a month and nearly died. Since then s...

hotrod · hotrod

I loved today's reading in the ODAT It points out that attending Al-Anon meetings is extremely important to growth in Al-Anon. It suggests that when we first begin attending meetings, we find a safe place to share and it feels good to do so. After a while, it is important to note that complaining abo...

missmeliss · missmeliss

My mother drove here yesterday...in my new car!! It's so much newer and shinier than I imagined, it has barely been used by the previous owner. I was almost in a bit of shock when I first laid eyes on it, I've never owned anything new and nice before really. Haha, yes, me who doesn't want or value posession...

mjferg · mjferg

Some of you know I have been having problems with my landlady,basically she is a slumlord and doesn't fix anything.She intimidates people with her anger and threatens you with eviction.The people who live here are afraid of her and they just keep quiet to have peace.I stood up to her about some things...

el-cee · el-cee

Its mothers day here and its a good time to reflect on what it means to be a mother and to have a mother in our lives. My own mother has been dead for over 10 years now and im a different person to the person she knew. I imagine our relationship would be a good one, i have accepted my mother and her flaws and the gi...

MarieMcD · MarieMcD

I love my husband with all my heart. When he is sober, he is the most loving, kind, sweet, compassionate person. We have been together for 4 years, and I knew he was an alcoholic after about the first 6 months. We lived together for the first few years prior to marriage, and it's rough to have the "par...

hotrod · hotrod

The ODA T reading for today is extremely powerful. It points out that many of us have lost our faith and belief in prayer, and that sometimes we reach a point where we cry out in anguish, begging an unknown power to relieve us of our burden. The reading goes on to explain that we are imprisoned by our own...

gabigail · gabigail

I don't know a lot about how alcohol affects the health of the addict. I have been dealing with for a couple of months much more than my spouse's addiction. Lately, she hasn't been eating (at least not in front of me) and I know in spite of being sick (throwing up constantly, diarrhea, stomach cramps,...

Skorpi · Skorpi

So, I have been struggling with the line between enabling and controlling lately. A while back, someone asked me to think about the line between compassion and enabling, and I have been thinking on that ever since. On the surface, things sounds really clear. Not enabling is not condoning behavior,...

ladybugnessa · ladybugnessa

I came to Al-anon to figure out how to deal with my AH. Like all of us. I fought it. the first time I went to one meeting and I hated it that was a couple of years ago. Life might have been different if I had done it right then and stuck around and shopped for meetings... but I didn't. I went I listened an...

paango · paango

I am a newbie, and have been lurking in the background. Reading your posts throughout the day gets me by when I'm working and can't get to a meeting. I had a difficult time talking to him when I visited him in rehab. He didn't want to talk about the program or his progress - just that he was busy and he had to...

Theoceancalls · Theoceancalls

well, i hve posted thoughts on this topic before but find i need to revisit it again , bc although im getting off the roller coaster from last week there are always more rides to come. . this week its sex. something i dont talk about well and according to my ah, im lousy at and completly uninterested in. (ok...

hotrod · hotrod

Today's reading in the C2C talks about Step 7 and focuses on the word HUMBLE. It reminds us that many times we view this word as a negative, tearful, embarrassing experience but that being humble can actually be accomplished with humor and joy. It builds on the reading this week that spoke about...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	C2C 3-20 (Preview) C2C reading for today speaks about the Al-Anon fourth step, bookL":Blueprint for Progress."and explained the chapter which is entitled self-worth. The meditation points out that we have probably always measured our self-worth and value by our accomplishment or what others have t...	hotrod	2	510	Mar 20, 2015 by hotrod
	Getting worse before it gets better? (Preview) Hi All, I think that I have been making progress with detaching, with not engaging, with not arguing, and with setting boundaries. I remember some people said that my wife would probably react negatively to this at first, and I sure am seeing that now. I think, for the last few weeks, that I was just se...	Skorpi	4	632	Mar 20, 2015 by Skorpi
	two tone world (Preview) Here in the uk there are a few different news channels, there is one that is pretty dire, like a tabloid newspaper, sensationalist and dramatic, another presents itself as serious and balanced but it skirts the issues, ignores or only just touches on the important stuff. Then there is channel 4, its l...	el-cee	1	378	Mar 20, 2015 by hotrod
	Getting close (Preview) I am getting close to a settlement and divorce. Ah is finally getting ready to deal. He would not before hoping he could squeeze me. I am a lot stronger now and standing my ground. I was the wild card He was hoping to take advantage Of And push around. I have a good Divorce lawyer. I am still being lenient bu...	Mirandac	8	640	Mar 20, 2015 by el-cee
	What is the "problem", really? (Preview) I was born like all of you in a pure, natural state, borned perfectly as God wanted me to be out of His vision for me and His love for me. I was also born into an emotionally dishonest and dysfunctional family and society. Although I cannot remember it, probably by the time I was 4, I had learned what to do in o...	WorkingThroughIt	4	569	Mar 20, 2015 by WorkingThroughIt
	what if? (Preview) Today is a not so good day. I keep replaying the last few conversations me and my ah had. It's driving me insane. What if I made a mistake leaving? What if he really was trying to make things work? What if I'm wrong? Everyday I have a storm of emotions racing through me. But mostly regret. Just 3 weeks ago he d...	4myboys	7	569	Mar 20, 2015 by Mattie
	My 30 yr old daughter JM is an alcoholic (Preview) I am familiar with the Al-Anon and AA principles as I have gone through this with my ex-husband-- but I need advice on how to introduce my youngest daughter (25- who I will call EM) and my (current) husband (DH) to these principles to help them cope with JM. When I was actively involved with Al-Anon I wen...	marska57	4	541	Mar 20, 2015 by WorkingThroughIt
	Teens (Preview) Good morning, New to Alanon, but not MIP. Well, the struggles of my teens(2) drug use has worn me down. I removed my daughter from my house on 1/1/2015. My sons(16) use progressed to a daily basis. The symptoms are all there: lying, isolating, anger and his world getting smaller. He can't wait for me t...	Mike B	6	822	Mar 20, 2015 by Irish7
	Success for the Day! (Preview) Under the topic of graduation: My committee members, time, date, and location are set, and after spending an hour with a writing tutor, I now have great (or at least better) chapter titles! Yay!	Skorpi	3	475	Mar 20, 2015 by ladybugnessa
	The me show (Preview) Sometimes it actually helps me to view myself as the star of my own reality show. It may sound conceited but it helps in some ways if I think: 1. This is my show so I better make it interesting. 2. Each day is a new episode and the plot can change and get better each week. 3. I'm the star and producer so I can...	pinkchip	13	700	Mar 19, 2015 by Fairlee
	THAT second shoe was unexpected... (Preview) Well, Monday. I remind myself first what I said about the reading this morning. I cannot expect perfection from myself, and steps in the right direction are successes. I also cannot expect perfection from my wife, and steps in the right direction, like not drinking over the weekend, are also success...	Skorpi	16	939	Mar 19, 2015 by Mirandac
	AH CAME HOME FROM REHAB (Preview) AH CAME HOME FROM REHAB LAST NIGHT. OUR INSURANCE WOULDNT ALLOW MORE THAN 30 DAYS AND WE CANT AFFORD A FANCY PRIVATE REHAB. I FEEL KINDA STRANGE WHICH MY SPONSER SAID I WOULD. TRYING TO USE THE SKILLS/TOOLS I LEARN AT ALANON. I FEEL KINDA NUMB ABOUT HIM..MAYBE I JUST NEED SOME TIME TO SEE THAT HE IS DOING HI...	YARNCRAZY	5	795	Mar 19, 2015 by Skorpi
	Dry drunk (Preview) Good morning everyone. I just need to rant my ah has been sober about 100 days. Up until 2 weeks ago I has set to leave him. I went crying to our therapist and mad as heck and told her that is it. He was grumpy and mean everyday and I just couldn't take it anymore. Amazingly she met with him the next day and he cha...	Helpangel	5	628	Mar 19, 2015 by hotrod
	What do I mean by having a life :) (Preview) Things have been so crazy busy lately, some in a good way some in a not so good way. My life feels a little like a I Love Lucy Reboot 2015 probably PG13/R version. Seriously if this hadn't happened to me I wouldn't believe it. A couple weekends ago I left my house without children in it for once and headed...	SerenityRUS	3	736	Mar 19, 2015 by Skorpi
	forgiveness (Preview) you can't hold someone down without staying down with them.	texann1	8	976	Mar 19, 2015 by hotrod
	I miss you…. (Preview) So after 6 months separation and after all he put me through, exAH sends me a txt last night saying: "I miss you" Well he didn't miss me during my pregnancy when I was lonely and down all the time, worrying myself sick about our future and finances whilst he was either drinking at the pub or slee...	Luiza	7	686	Mar 18, 2015 by pinkchip
	Lost (Preview) I recently made the choice of ending my relationship with my husband of 18 years. He is an alcoholic. I feel like I have failed and given up on him. I couldn't take the drinking anymore. After all these years of everything we lost and abuse,lying,binges and worst of all constantly putting our kids in dan...	4myboys	12	817	Mar 18, 2015 by Jaclyn
	News Flash!! (Preview)	John	2	526	Mar 18, 2015 by el-cee
	Combine all the goodies in your life... (Preview) create a world of gratitude...	John	1	455	Mar 18, 2015 by hotrod
	Newsflash to Myself (Preview) And today, while I was considering how my wife seems to have this desperate need to be in communication with me at all points of the day the brilliance of modern technology appeared to me. Usually, I have a chat window open with her to tell her important things like: I got to the office safe. I will be away...	Skorpi	3	513	Mar 18, 2015 by ladybugnessa
	Thanks for the reminder, A!! (Preview) Since I received my new car, A has been sending me a lot of messages, which I have been ignoring. They all basically say "I want to get a job but I can't work without a car. it sucks sucks SUCKS, life is so unfair". Now he hasn't applied for a job since he quit his old one almost a year ago....after u...	missmeliss	7	673	Mar 18, 2015 by hotrod
	Living in fear. (Preview) I've been busy this week, busier than I have been for years. Happy busy, I like what I am doing, my routine, and the home I relax in at night. But I have noticed that with a new busy lifestyle, and being away from my child, pets, home and comfort zone during the day, quite a few "pre-alanon" habit...	missmeliss	13	720	Mar 18, 2015 by Skorpi
	Can a seasoned member speak to sponsorship please? (Preview) Hi everyone! I'm back into my program after an absence and relapse. My current job and health make it really challenging to get to meetings with any predictability. I understand their importance and power and continue to try to find a way to make that happen. But what I'm wondering is - in the meanti...	LedfootJenny	12	970	Mar 18, 2015 by LedfootJenny
	C2C thoughts for today (Preview) Courage to Change reading for a few days ago speaks about how our progress in Al-Anon often appears slow. It points out that if we expect all our our negative attitudes to be removed instantly,we have unrealistic expectations..The reading goes on to point out that the best way to measure our progress...	hotrod	2	691	Mar 18, 2015 by hotrod
	wallowing in resentments (Preview) Lately I have been feeling a lot of resentments with people in my life. Those feelings are putting me in a bad place. I have been trying very hard to turn them over to God. This morning I was able to pray for the people that are the source of my resentments. I realize that they are untreated alanon people. I p...	Gailsy	6	588	Mar 18, 2015 by lablover13
	It's WORKING (Preview) the man actually apologized to me for losing his temper. Yay!	ladybugnessa	4	522	Mar 18, 2015 by hotrod
	eligibilty for Al-Anon (Preview) Someone told me, I think that it was on this board but I can't be sure, that because of my wife's being a long-timer in Al an, that I am eligible, even though my family lacks any addict or abuser. I've had my own therapy for 100 years so am skeptical of my need or potential benefit from going a 12 step route. ...	drywit44	5	793	Mar 18, 2015 by 1911A1
	Dry Drunk ?? (Preview) I am rather new to all of this, so I was wondering if someone can explain the term "dry drunk" to me. I am hoping my 26 year old daughter stops drinking and gets her life on track, but will it just be her not drinking but still having the same issues with her? What will she have to lie about if she'...	pamala	9	3618	Mar 17, 2015 by Helpangel
	C2C 3-16 (Preview) The Courage to Change today speaks about progress not perfection. It reinforces the idea that Al-Anon works slowly and surely as we use the tools each day one day at a time. The reading points out that many times we have unhealthy attitudes as to how quickly we should grow and change, and become disappo...	hotrod	6	608	Mar 17, 2015 by Debb
	Happy where I am at .... (Preview) I woke up this morning ... Read a bit sat in silence and realized I am happy where I am. I am single, a mom, love my son and my job	Truth	3	453	Mar 17, 2015 by hotrod
	I just gotta do this... (Preview) This is bold & proud! I am so grateful for everyone in my life who have been w/ me through the ups & downs. I hope that in the future there will be more ups than downs just so I can help another struggling Al anon member or anyone who has difficulties that can't deal w/them on their own. I am a prime exa...	Hoot Nanny	1	464	Mar 17, 2015 by hotrod
	Holiday (Preview) Happy St. Patrick's Day to all	hotrod	1	354	Mar 17, 2015 by Debb
	Questioning my motives (Preview) I feel like I have I made some progress in the last few months regarding my 19 year old AD. I am practicing self care again (used to be really good at this prior to addictions entering my life). I have been reading a lot of the literature, trying to use the slogans that I find helpful and practicing detach...	serenity47	12	1054	Mar 17, 2015 by akk
	It's the little things... (Preview) I decided that this week I would take some steps to detach when AH calls me during the day to rant and rave about anything and everything. The way I have handled it in the past was to try to counsel him, try to help him strategize ways to deal with problems, or issues at work, I would try whatever I could to tr...	CoopsMom	3	537	Mar 17, 2015 by Skorpi
	I want to go to a Meeting tomorrow night but won't have a ride (Preview) I have never called anyone from my f2f meetings. I have missed the one meeting I started at (where the woman I plan to ask to be one of my sponsors is at) for tw0 weeks due to being sick etc. I want to go tomorrow night but I will not have my car. My AH does not like the AA meeting that is held at the same tim...	ladybugnessa	8	747	Mar 17, 2015 by ladybugnessa
	Where to draw the line when someone is being injured? (Preview) Hi MIP! My AH's dad ( who is an active long time drinker) has been married for 30 years to a woman who is physically abusive. Friday night she pummeled him pretty good - apparently because he was drinking. His head is swollen and it looks like she was especially brutal. So clearly - these are two sick p...	LedfootJenny	10	677	Mar 17, 2015 by LedfootJenny
	"thanks for your input honey I will think about it" (Preview) I want to share how much peace the title of this post brings me now. every time my Idiot AH says something that I know is wrong (today it was that ZICAM makes my very bad cold worse) I say "thanks honey You may be right let me think about it" and I go on my way. all the while I'm thinking about...	ladybugnessa	10	726	Mar 17, 2015 by Gailsy
	HFT Mar 17 (Preview) Morning MIP- This reading is about how our sense of responsibility can become inflated to the point that we are resentful for all that we do (even if we are the ones insisting on doing everything!). I mentioned in an earlier post that my first experience with this feeling was as a child--I am the younge...	yanksfan51	1	474	Mar 17, 2015 by hotrod
	Firsts for him, first for me (Preview) We had our first gaming convention this weekend. At a hotel, with a bar. Standard practice in the past was to bring his own scotch and get beer at the bar. He had not had any cravings till Friday night. Hubby had a craving for a drink after a stressful board game. I WAS not there. He does not have a s...	ladybugnessa	9	681	Mar 17, 2015 by ladybugnessa
	One of those days that just works. (Preview) All has been right with my world today. I woke late (daughter is away this weekend). Did 2 assignments over coffee and then a bit of housework and then I remembered my self-care commitment so I got into the bath (believe it or not, I have been in this house for 6 weeks now yet this was STILL my FIRST BATH IN 5 Y...	missmeliss	9	794	Mar 16, 2015 by a4l
	Still in denial (Preview) There are only three people I have told about my husband's problem. I can barely admit it to myself most days. We"ll have a good stretch of time and I think, well maybe the worst is over, and then something happens and I feel upset again. Last night we were home watching TV and his eyes got red and I fel...	Alma Daigle	5	577	Mar 16, 2015 by Fairlee
	Dad passed (Preview) Hi everyone, it's been sometime since I have been to the boards and I can definitely tell I have been missing you all! My Dad passed away last weekend and his funeral was Wednesday March 11, ironically that was his bday, so he got his wish that we had a party for him. I delivered his eulogy and was pleasantl...	Flower49	12	601	Mar 16, 2015 by Fairlee
	do we have the right to insist or expect sobriety? (Preview) Does being married or living with another person mean we have the right to insist they change, get sober, behave in a certain way? what if the mistake was ours in the first place? I mean we meet a person, build up our idea of who that person is, build our own expectations around how that person will behave,...	el-cee	23	929	Mar 16, 2015 by a4l
	Hello - Repost (Preview) I had trouble registering, so I decided to try again and repost my message. Thank you to all who responded to earlier message.I am new to this site and i have no idea where to start. I find it hard to open up to strangers about my toxic family issues. I just don't know where to begin.I too read the "Laun...	gar1967	7	543	Mar 16, 2015 by Mirandac
	Extremely alcoholic mum alcoholism alcohol alcoholic parent mom (Preview) Hey I'm kinda new here but I'm Chelsea and I'm 16. I don't get along with my mom at all now and moved in with my dad two years ago because of her extreme drinking problem. she has been drinking since before she had me but has gradually got worse, to the point where me and dad never tell her if I have a parents eve...	Chelseacat44	7	9655	Mar 16, 2015 by Chelseacat44
	asking for prayers and encouragement!!! (Preview) I realize my landlady has all the abusive characteristics of my ex,I am starting the process to have justice served.After class today I am making some phone calls.I have local numbers I am going to call to complain and see if I have a civil case for trespassing.I know it will be stressful and I am going to...	mjferg	5	458	Mar 16, 2015 by el-cee
	SO OVERWHELMED (Preview) My husband just got out of the hospital 3 days ago for alcohol withdrawals. He was withdrawing from alcohol because he goes through detox at home. He was experiencing DTs for the first time in his life. It was scary and I almost had to commit him to psychiatric help. Anyway, we've been doing well for 3 day...	MarieMcD	5	632	Mar 15, 2015 by Lyne
	Alcoholic Wife of Brother-in-law affecting Children alcoholic mother suicide suicidal runaway (Preview) Hello, I'm not sure of where else to turn at this point. My brother-in-law's wife has been dealing with severe alcoholism for many years now. Things became quite bad almost five years ago. She suffered from withdrawal and was in a medically induced coma for almost a month and nearly died. Since then s...	lockecole	6	3907	Mar 15, 2015 by Chelseacat44
	ODAT 3-15 (Preview) I loved today's reading in the ODAT It points out that attending Al-Anon meetings is extremely important to growth in Al-Anon. It suggests that when we first begin attending meetings, we find a safe place to share and it feels good to do so. After a while, it is important to note that complaining abo...	hotrod	2	490	Mar 15, 2015 by hotrod
	Lots and lots of gratitudes. (Preview) My mother drove here yesterday...in my new car!! It's so much newer and shinier than I imagined, it has barely been used by the previous owner. I was almost in a bit of shock when I first laid eyes on it, I've never owned anything new and nice before really. Haha, yes, me who doesn't want or value posession...	missmeliss	6	746	Mar 15, 2015 by pinkchip
	too much stress! (Preview) Some of you know I have been having problems with my landlady,basically she is a slumlord and doesn't fix anything.She intimidates people with her anger and threatens you with eviction.The people who live here are afraid of her and they just keep quiet to have peace.I stood up to her about some things...	mjferg	15	688	Mar 15, 2015 by Skorpi
	happy mothers day uk (Preview) Its mothers day here and its a good time to reflect on what it means to be a mother and to have a mother in our lives. My own mother has been dead for over 10 years now and im a different person to the person she knew. I imagine our relationship would be a good one, i have accepted my mother and her flaws and the gi...	el-cee	2	518	Mar 15, 2015 by hotrod
	Wants Baby But Has Alcoholic Hubby (Preview) I love my husband with all my heart. When he is sober, he is the most loving, kind, sweet, compassionate person. We have been together for 4 years, and I knew he was an alcoholic after about the first 6 months. We lived together for the first few years prior to marriage, and it's rough to have the "par...	MarieMcD	14	805	Mar 15, 2015 by Kerrymom
	ODAT 3-14 (Preview) The ODA T reading for today is extremely powerful. It points out that many of us have lost our faith and belief in prayer, and that sometimes we reach a point where we cry out in anguish, begging an unknown power to relieve us of our burden. The reading goes on to explain that we are imprisoned by our own...	hotrod	7	583	Mar 14, 2015 by hotrod
	Concern about alcoholic's health (Preview) I don't know a lot about how alcohol affects the health of the addict. I have been dealing with for a couple of months much more than my spouse's addiction. Lately, she hasn't been eating (at least not in front of me) and I know in spite of being sick (throwing up constantly, diarrhea, stomach cramps,...	gabigail	7	840	Mar 14, 2015 by YARNCRAZY
	Enabling vs. Controlling (Preview) So, I have been struggling with the line between enabling and controlling lately. A while back, someone asked me to think about the line between compassion and enabling, and I have been thinking on that ever since. On the surface, things sounds really clear. Not enabling is not condoning behavior,...	Skorpi	5	788	Mar 14, 2015 by LedfootJenny
	Thank all of you! (Preview) I came to Al-anon to figure out how to deal with my AH. Like all of us. I fought it. the first time I went to one meeting and I hated it that was a couple of years ago. Life might have been different if I had done it right then and stuck around and shopped for meetings... but I didn't. I went I listened an...	ladybugnessa	5	731	Mar 14, 2015 by el-cee
	ABF coming out of rehab (Preview) I am a newbie, and have been lurking in the background. Reading your posts throughout the day gets me by when I'm working and can't get to a meeting. I had a difficult time talking to him when I visited him in rehab. He didn't want to talk about the program or his progress - just that he was busy and he had to...	paango	7	815	Mar 14, 2015 by el-cee
	Sex/intimacy and the alc marriage (Preview) well, i hve posted thoughts on this topic before but find i need to revisit it again , bc although im getting off the roller coaster from last week there are always more rides to come. . this week its sex. something i dont talk about well and according to my ah, im lousy at and completly uninterested in. (ok...	Theoceancalls	20	1324	Mar 14, 2015 by Mirandac
	C2C 3-13 (Preview) Today's reading in the C2C talks about Step 7 and focuses on the word HUMBLE. It reminds us that many times we view this word as a negative, tearful, embarrassing experience but that being humble can actually be accomplished with humor and joy. It builds on the reading this week that spoke about...	hotrod	3	520	Mar 13, 2015 by Skorpi
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.