The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Hey I'm kinda new here but I'm Chelsea and I'm 16. I don't get along with my mom at all now and moved in with my dad two years ago because of her extreme drinking problem. she has been drinking since before she had me but has gradually got worse, to the point where me and dad never tell her if I have a parents evening at school etc even if it's in the daytime, as we can't trust her not to be drunk. She has a new bf now who also likes to drink, but abuses her and has put her into hospital a few times, but she won't leave him and has chosen him over me as he feeds her drinking habits. By the time I was 9 years old my mum was dragging me into pubs after school, and I would have to do my best to drag her home after 12 o'clock, as she would refuse to leave before closing time. This is when her and dad split up, for that reason. Dad was going to take me to live with him to be away from the alcohol but she said she would kill herself if I left, but promised to stop drinking if I stayed. I had already walked in on her attempting suicide when I was about 7 years old. obviously, she didn't keep her promise, and I was stuck with her until I was 14, when I made the decision to finally move in with dad. Things have been good here but moms drinking has got worse again and she has really changed. She blames me and dad for the lack of a relationship she has with me but I really don't like the woman she is now. I miss having a mom but she isn't my mom. I can't stand the woman. It wounds selfish but trust me drink is all she cares about, she has no time for anything else. it's really hard as my GCSEs are in two months and even though she is still alive, I have lost my mom. Thanks for taking the time for reading this x
Have you tried alateen. It is a great support group
For people your age. Getting the support and breaking
The isolation caused by the disease is so important.
It sounds like you were your mothers care giver now
Its your turn to take care of you. Hopefully you will
Embrace alateen, alcoholism is trully a family disease.
Welcome Chelsea I am so sorry to read of your difficult experiences. I agree, alateen would be very helpful for you. You are not alone and connecting with other teens who are living with the same issues will enable you to develop constructive tools to live by and a group to practice using them with.
You are not alone and there is hope for your life
Hi Chelsea...well done for reaching out. Its very hard having an alcoholic parent, you are not alone. Do concentrate on your exams, as best you can. Mum and all her stuff will still be there afterwards. Love is such a huge concept to interpret, yet each and every human being will come to learn it over the course of an entire lifetime. I say this to you as I read your words about being put second to the boyfriend. I do so remember that very feeling Chelsea, only you already have developed an insight into how its your mums need to drink that puts him in her picture. I'm so very sorry that you are going through this, and I am so pleased you are still doing your schooling. Alcoholism is a confusing mess for all involved. Alateen could be a good source of support around these things for you. It is my great wish that you go forth in your life strongly even though I am a stranger, as I was once a 16 year old girl too. The one thing we dont get more of is time,love, so surround yourself with good people who can support you making healthy choices for yourself. Lots of good wishes your way Chelsea. Edna.
Aloha and welcome to the board and I hope you make MIP a normal part of your day. Come in listen and earn and share your Experience with us and what is going on with other members. You mum is suffering from a mind and mood altering disease which has affected the entire family You can only take care that part which has toughed your life and you won't be able to fix her or your dad...just you. If Alateen is not available for you getting to face to face Al-Anon meetings will help a lot toward understanding this mind and mood altering disease which will travel our entire life with us. I encourage you to attend Al-Alanon, get the literature, find sponsorship and work the steps which help us to fix ourselves and more. You've found a seat here at MIP keep coming back....(((((hugs)))))
Hi Chelsea and welcome. hugs to you this is so hard for you... I'm glad you have dad to help. I too think you should try to find an al-ateen meeting to go to.
and keep posting here.
__________________
-- ladybug
We come to love not by finding a perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly.
You have your whole life in front of you. Love yourself
Enough And get all the support you can muster with the help of
Fellow teenagers dealing with the same issues. Alateen.
I wish i had done that when i was your age. It would have
Saved me so much un needed misery. Low self esteem and
Self worth as a young person.
The damage that can be done to your inner self is immense
And life long in future relationships. You sound like a very
Strong girl. Seek recovery and learn self love, self care and
Self acceptance with your HP lovingly holding your hand.
It is a life long journey to emotional and spiritual health.
I still struggle with the effects of my childhood. I think
Most of us that grew up with alcoholism or dysfunction
Will attest to that.
