Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

The beginning of love is to let those we love be perfectly themselves and not to twist them to fit our own image. ~ Thomas MertonTodays reading addresses the tendency to try to change other people. The author admitted they regularly attempted this to ensure they got what they wanted out of a relationsh...

pinksurvivor · pinksurvivor

So I finally stood up for myself and actually called the police this time. Why is it that I am blamed for everything wrong in his life? He was an alcoholic before I met him and he's still an alcoholic now. The alcoholic in question has a huge support group of enablers-his boss, his sister, his co-workers,...

YARNCRAZY · YARNCRAZY

Im so grateful to be out of the insanity, the whirling dervish that was my life 8 mths ago. XAH has of course relapsed after his 4-5 mth stay in rehab and now down the slippery slope to death by bottle of vodka[ many bottles of vodka] Me, Im unemployed still, money running low but Im happier then Ive been ev...

alanonfan · alanonfan

I've spend the best part of the day on step 4 and it's emotionally exhausting and will take me months but I'm loving it and it's making me think very carefully about my behaviour. They should teach this in school :)

CH_Husband_Dad · CH_Husband_Dad

I went to my first meeting yesterday. I will go back but I'm just not sure. One issue is that my hearing is not good enough and I missed so much. When you don't know what's going on to begin with that makes it difficult. I didn't research it before I went. I was kind of hoping for a two way conversation typ...

laxplayer24 · laxplayer24

I have tried meetings in the past and heard how you have to not let his drinking affect you......live your own life etc. How is that possible?? If you are married or live together then you can't just live your own life. Bills need to be paid. I am married to a binge drinker alcoholic. He can stay drunk f...

Desperateinnyc · Desperateinnyc

I wrote a lot, always did. In some ways it helps me get rid of some stuff, leave it on the page so to speak, and I also like to go back to it, after some time and see how I've grown..I wrote this tonight, just because I was angry, and I wanted to get it out and pit somewhere..it felt good. No id never show my BF, or h...

alanonfan · alanonfan

Hello fellow alanoners. I've been hanging out here and going to meetings for quite some time and suddenly I've seen the light. I woke up this morning to a barrage of abuse from my A who was using words like 'scumbag' 'utter b***d' 'piece of filth' and of course turning everything around to blame me. I hav...

shimo · shimo

Al-Anon meeting in the chat room begins in approximately 20 minutes. Come on in and join us!

likemyheart · likemyheart

Reading Serenity's recent post about what she doesn't miss - I can echo that sentiment, I do NOT miss the craziness of being part of an alcohol-fueled relationship. But it gets me thinkin, something I'm accused of over-doing (but brain doesn't have an off switch right Serenity?); anyway, thinking a...

Calm Lady · Calm Lady

So had a nice day, been working and loving my program. Pleasant light hearted banter between AH and myself. We were cleaning the kitchen together. I jokingly pointed out the ring of crumbs on the floor when AH stands to have his midnight feast each night. In an instant, he turned nasty. This is what I do...

Rebrose8 · Rebrose8

HI there I'm new and need help I have been with my boyfriend for a year now and when I meet him I thought he was the greats guy and still is when he don't drink. Latter I found out he has a past with DUIs and has a record. I looked past the cuse we all have a past. I fell in love with him and still im. The thing is that w...

Doyouseeme · Doyouseeme

My husband is a crack addict. He has hurt me physically and emotionally. He is mean anne has no control over hours anger. Married for 4 hellush years I feel under stupid. My mom and dad where drug/alcohol addicts. Help

Searchingforpeace · Searchingforpeace

Hi, I just found this board today. After reading a few of the posts, I think this is where I need to be. I have two qualifiers, my father (who doesn't drink much anymore, but still retains the personality) & my husband (a binge drinker). I can't control anything anymore, and I need to learn how to set b...

missmeliss · missmeliss

Today's c2c talks about guilt and shame, and the tendency we have to relive all of our poor behaviours over and over and allow them to weigh us down. In step 8, when we list persons we have harmed and become willing to make amends, these terrible burdens can become more managable and the thought of settin...

Samantha4073 · Samantha4073

Hello everyone. I am new here and this is my first time reaching out. My husband is an alcoholic-a very high functioning one. His family and coworkers would never in a million years guess he has a problem. My family loves him and thinks he is the 'nicest guy' as well. He has maybe one friend and he doe...

tiredtonite · tiredtonite

This is definitely one of my character defects. For me, putting things off is usually tied into some sort of fear - fear of financial insecurity, fear of change, failure, embarrassment etc. These things can be subtle at times because I don't live with a lot of drama and chaos anymore. Inaction doesn't...

Dlove · Dlove

I haven't been on here in a long time. My AH went from bad to worse, hit rock bottom and got sober. Yay! Right? He hasn't gone to any AA meetings or counseling but has been going to church with me twice a week. We have been very happy. It's like I got my best friend back! When he hit rock bottom he opened up about...

Desperateinnyc · Desperateinnyc

I realize this has probably been addressed here before. And that the response is that it's different for everyone. But I am struggling to know, when do I give up, when do I say, that's it, good luck, but I'm out, and when do I say no, I'm not going to leave, because everything about u that I hate is because yo...

seahorselady · seahorselady

I have stopped all enabling with my AS couple weeks ago knowing that he, as far as I know, is still without means, brings me to tears. I have to keep my head in recovery every day to remind myself why I'm doing this. The last couple of conversations via messenger we've had have been frank ones. He admitted...

Wilady8 · Wilady8

When I first meet, my now fiancé, I had little knowledge or understanding of alcoholism. I was oblivious to the fact that my father suffered from alcoholism and drug addicted which lead to his recent death. Since it is a huge part of his life/my life I started reading researching about it. I have been to...

Crau · Crau

Sometimes life likes to remind you to stay alert and be on the lookout for icebergs/roadblocks/wrecking balls/etc. I missed my weekly meeting tonight for a fantasy football draft--it's my favorite time of year so definitely made it a priority today. That being said, a meeting a would have been ni...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning Everyone- Today's reading is about taking the time to cherish those small moments of our lives that mean so much. The program and my faith in my Hp help me to stop and soak in the wonder of a sunrise or sunset. When I hear my kids laughing together, or have just had a connection in conversation...

Hopeful2112 · Hopeful2112

Hi folks, I've been missing meetings, isolating and feeling generally pretty rubbish, basically running off my own self will and blocking my HP from every aspect of my life. Finally reconnected with my sponsor and attended a meeting..... The meeting I thought was crap, but my HP always tries... I l...

pinkchip · pinkchip

It dawned on me a few years into recovery that I had no internal voice that looked after me, rooted for me, said nice things to me, validated me, assured me, and cheered me on. I had no inner cheerleader. Rather, I had inner voices telling me I was weak, couldn't make it on my own, didn't deserve good things...

Theotis5555 · Theotis5555

Will set a little context. My ex-wife has been active on and off for the past 11 years. Long story short. Two kids, age 14. She's had three major relapses/events. Episode one (Kids age 4): A few bottles of wine, pills, razor and bathtub. Kids find her. Hospital. Three day hold. ---a whole lot of...

deacon · deacon

We were at a social gathering yesterday. Some people we know well, others are acquaintances and neighbours. Two women beside me started talking about another woman 'throwing her daughter out of the house' and how unfeeling she was. And went on to say that they would never do such a thing to their child...

Charlotte22 · Charlotte22

hi Everyone! I recently started back in al anon (after going for 10 years from 30-40 years old) and in my town there is cross talk and gossip so I prefer PHONE MEETINGS that I just discovered. I am recently separated but having a VERy tough time as my parents are elderly and I also have a 13 year old to rais...

Wendy8 · Wendy8

Please help me figure out what is best to do. My 24 year old AS lives with us. He is drinking more and more. I cry all the time go to alanon but feel so sad. My husband his father is done. We have tried everything to help him but it's not worked so far. Setting boundaries is scarey for me. I want someone to tell me...

oceanpine · oceanpine

Hello all- I haven't posted in a long while, but I read and learn every day. I'm feeling really sad today. And also, confused. I'm getting more and more confused about enabling. I moved out over a year ago, when I couldn't stand my AH's secret drinking, lying about it, and the ensuing verbal abuse. I'...

e_i_m · e_i_m

One of the things I often do is isolate myself and then complain and feel sorry for myself that no one loves me (which to me equals pays attention to me). As I am going through this process, I realize more every day how much I have made attention from others my source of validation and my definition of love....

Momforever · Momforever

Hello! I awoke this morning exhausted and wanting to hear from someone who is or has gone through my situation. My adult son has severe alcoholic induced liver cirrhosis, non-viral hepatitis, and Ascites. He has been in the hospital more than not since March 2016. He is 39, divorced, unable to work,...

oceanpine · oceanpine

My separated AH and I are having an in-depth counseling weekend in 3 weeks. In the meantime, our counselor has asked us to avoid processing, until she gets there. My AH is very impulsive, and tries to process the past, present and future every time we are on the phone together. It's exhausting, and Wic...

madowl86 · madowl86

Since my last post here I feel like I, myself, have gotten worse. As of June, I had moved out and set boundaries that my ABF would not be around me drinking, come to my house drunk or drinking, etc. But after finding out that he was drinking behind my back, he wanted to show me that he could handle drinking...

jocelgp · jocelgp

Hi everyone! I hope you all had a good day and will have a good day :) So it's been a week or so that my AH was true to his word that he'll no longer drink after the bad accident. But I am sensing the desire when he mentioned yesterday after going to church that he saw some beer bottles near the convent and co...

Calm Lady · Calm Lady

Hope everyone is jamming a good Sunday. I was just laughing. I caught myself plotting and planning a most complicated plan or more accurately, a manipulation! An issue that was none of my business. Luckily I realised. Laughed. Stopped myself before any damage done. Having nice cup of tea instead and...

Jerry F · Jerry F

My wife is now in the air...returning home from her home in Central Valley CA. I admire her courage, determination and commitment in our life. I asked Akua; my Higher Power for it's attention to her safe flight which I am assured Akua will do and still I hold my breath a bit as she covers the 2600 miles...

baht114 · baht114

Not sure what I'm looking for. Help, advice, suggestions, or anything at this point. My husband has been sober now for about 6 months. He was addicted to opiates and I never had a clue! About two weeks before he finally admitted to me that he was addicted to drugs the sh*t hit the fan. No Money, pawned ever...

lgnutah · lgnutah

I wonder sometimes does alcohol just make the brain not process information, like the pathway to rationality is diverted or something? Yesterday there was an engagement party for my son and his fiance (given by the bride to be's family, so our two families and the wedding party could meet). My 36 AD w...

hotrod · hotrod

The Courage to Change reading for August 28 speaks about sponsorship, in Al-Anon and how important it is to our recovery. By having a sponsor we find someone that we can trust and who will be there for us when we reach out. When we first ask someone to be our sponsor, it is a difficult procedure...

e_i_m · e_i_m

I was first in al-anon about eight years ago for probably two years. I found tremendous serenity and made important changes in my life. When I first came into the rooms I heard about (and read about) how important it was to find a sponsor. I asked three women at three different meetings who all seemed to h...

jitsuka · jitsuka

I've been laid up in bed basically all day, this morning when I woke up I was getting worrying dizzy spells - like a swimming sensation. I've no idea what it was, bit of a headache too. I've felt exhausted, tired, really wiped out, no appetite either. Just been drinking water. Got up around 7pm to make s...

Mcat54 · Mcat54

Money is a big issue for me. I'm blessed to have a good job and have no concerns for my financial well-being. However, as I consider leaving my A, I know the division of property and assets will be a factor. We've been married six years, and we kept our money separate. I've saved a lot in company 401k, and in...

Cornwell13 · Cornwell13

Hello, I have have been dating my boyfriend for around 6 m koonths. I knew from the beginning he is an alcoholic and that he had been sober for just under a year. He recently had a relapse and told his family and I he could reel it back in with just going to meetings. It didn't work and he asked me to take him to...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for August 27 speaks about our expectations upon entering our first Al-Anon meeting .. The reading suggests that most of us thought that we would be given tools to stop the alcoholic from drinking and were disappointed .Instead,It was suggested that we were powerless over alc...

joker · joker

I have been in deep thought about my relationship with the abf. We have a house together and I went and got an apartment, as a plan B. I still have not moved any of my belongings into the apartment from the house. What am I waiting for? He has now been sober for 10 plus days and says this time, he is really done w...

laxplayer24 · laxplayer24

How do I change my username? My AH might recognize mine if he sees this site (if I don't close the browser).

Lovejailed · Lovejailed

So I posted here last summer. I also sat in on chat room sessions. This website opened me up to realizing what i was going to have to do to start keeping my sanity. It has helped. I went to a face to face and got to hear how people focused and remembered themselves. Boundaries are not something that was shown...

DanielleB · DanielleB

Hi, I am new. I have not started attending meetings yet but have found one in my town that I want to try. I just want to introduce myself. Long story short, I was married to a guy named Alan in 1999. He had a history of alcoholism and went through periods of severe drinking when we were married. He sober...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

"We can pave the way for calm, reasonable communication only if we first find healthy outlets for our own negative feelings." ~ The Dilemma of the Alcoholic MarriageTodays reading features an AlAnon member reflecting on the unpleasant change anger brought upon their character. The author had mad...

seahorselady · seahorselady

Hi all, quick question. i have been talking to my AS lately. I have been trying to work my program and not enable, mother or manage. I am seeing my patterns in the way I interact with him and i am becoming more thoughtful before doing or saying something that may be old behavior. So after my conversation wi...

jocelgp · jocelgp

When I came to Al-anon my morning prayers has included the Serenity Prayer, The Surrender Prayer and Just for Today. I like the Just for Today because of its similarity to the Decalogue of Pope John XXIII. This morning I was struck by this part: Just for today, I will adjust myself to what is, and not tr...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading talks about looking back and reproaching ourselves for not knowing what we did not know. As I type that, I remember wondering and now - I see how silly it seems to me to be in 'black and white'. How of course could we know what is not revealed to us? We see when looking back that this diseas...

Doingmybest · Doingmybest

I have never asked for prayers for myself (that I can recall), but today I am asking all who will to please pray for me. I, myself, can only ask "Thy Will Be Done" because I don't believe in praying for myself in such a situation. It feels selfish to me. Today is my birthday (late 40's) and I meet with my new (f...

Bee22 · Bee22

I am new to Al Anon and I am new to this forum. The A in my life is my adult sister (who I live with). She is not sober but she is trying (I am thankful for this). When she drinks, she becomes very emotional and very angry/irate specifically towards me. I know that it is the disease talking and my mother (who als...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

The other day I heard from my attorney and we are another step closer to having things pushed through court. The last court appearance hopefully ever .. however .. LOL .. time will tell. I'm waiting for things to seriously blow up on my X in regards to money with the wife. You know it doesn't matter and...

shejon · shejon

my addict husband of 26 years just got a job and he thinks that I am not happy for him, I am happy for us both because he hasn't had a stable job in 5 Years. He just recently got out of a mental health facility because he was so depressed that he wanted to kill himself because he says that not having a job makes h...

Coloradogold · Coloradogold

New to the page. I am married to a recovered acholic that is at it again. Just done with it all.

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading in Courage to Change compares our emotional awareness and growth in recovery to a music student learning how to play the piano. When first starting, the student learns just a few keys, playable with one hand. Similar, in early recovery, we begin to feel our feelings and as we grow in...

joker · joker

I am so grateful today. The ABF remains sober and its almost 2 weeks. He may have hit his bottom. I had left while he was in full fledged active drinking and just let him be. He was a complete mess after 5 days of heavy, heavy drinking. We took the empty's back for refund and there was 460 empty's. That was in a...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	C2C 8/31 Trying to Change Others (Preview) The beginning of love is to let those we love be perfectly themselves and not to twist them to fit our own image. ~ Thomas MertonTodays reading addresses the tendency to try to change other people. The author admitted they regularly attempted this to ensure they got what they wanted out of a relationsh...	Enigmatic	5	565	Aug 31, 2016 by Enigmatic
	Blame-why does every alcoholic blame all their misfortunes on someone else? His friends are threatening me (Preview) So I finally stood up for myself and actually called the police this time. Why is it that I am blamed for everything wrong in his life? He was an alcoholic before I met him and he's still an alcoholic now. The alcoholic in question has a huge support group of enablers-his boss, his sister, his co-workers,...	pinksurvivor	1	432	Aug 31, 2016 by hotrod
	Grateful (Preview) Im so grateful to be out of the insanity, the whirling dervish that was my life 8 mths ago. XAH has of course relapsed after his 4-5 mth stay in rehab and now down the slippery slope to death by bottle of vodka[ many bottles of vodka] Me, Im unemployed still, money running low but Im happier then Ive been ev...	YARNCRAZY	4	402	Aug 31, 2016 by hotrod
	Step 4 (Preview) I've spend the best part of the day on step 4 and it's emotionally exhausting and will take me months but I'm loving it and it's making me think very carefully about my behaviour. They should teach this in school :)	alanonfan	2	329	Aug 31, 2016 by hotrod
	Went to first meeting yesterday. Not sure. (Preview) I went to my first meeting yesterday. I will go back but I'm just not sure. One issue is that my hearing is not good enough and I missed so much. When you don't know what's going on to begin with that makes it difficult. I didn't research it before I went. I was kind of hoping for a two way conversation typ...	CH_Husband_Dad	4	434	Aug 31, 2016 by Iamhere
	living with a binge drinker (Preview) I have tried meetings in the past and heard how you have to not let his drinking affect you......live your own life etc. How is that possible?? If you are married or live together then you can't just live your own life. Bills need to be paid. I am married to a binge drinker alcoholic. He can stay drunk f...	laxplayer24	13	2373	Aug 31, 2016 by geems
	Writing is so cathartic for me..pls read when you have time (Preview) I wrote a lot, always did. In some ways it helps me get rid of some stuff, leave it on the page so to speak, and I also like to go back to it, after some time and see how I've grown..I wrote this tonight, just because I was angry, and I wanted to get it out and pit somewhere..it felt good. No id never show my BF, or h...	Desperateinnyc	8	477	Aug 31, 2016 by savingmyself
	Some verbal abuse has done me a great favour. (Preview) Hello fellow alanoners. I've been hanging out here and going to meetings for quite some time and suddenly I've seen the light. I woke up this morning to a barrage of abuse from my A who was using words like 'scumbag' 'utter b***d' 'piece of filth' and of course turning everything around to blame me. I hav...	alanonfan	18	658	Aug 31, 2016 by Iamhere
	AL-ANON MEETING 9:00 A.M. EST - WEDNESDAY (Preview) Al-Anon meeting in the chat room begins in approximately 20 minutes. Come on in and join us!	shimo	1	287	Aug 31, 2016 by hotrod
	Other Ism's (Preview) Reading Serenity's recent post about what she doesn't miss - I can echo that sentiment, I do NOT miss the craziness of being part of an alcohol-fueled relationship. But it gets me thinkin, something I'm accused of over-doing (but brain doesn't have an off switch right Serenity?); anyway, thinking a...	likemyheart	4	730	Aug 31, 2016 by hotrod
	Arghhhhhh (Preview) So had a nice day, been working and loving my program. Pleasant light hearted banter between AH and myself. We were cleaning the kitchen together. I jokingly pointed out the ring of crumbs on the floor when AH stands to have his midnight feast each night. In an instant, he turned nasty. This is what I do...	Calm Lady	12	469	Aug 31, 2016 by Calm Lady
	Can you be with someone that alcoholic and you still drink socially. Advice please. (Preview) HI there I'm new and need help I have been with my boyfriend for a year now and when I meet him I thought he was the greats guy and still is when he don't drink. Latter I found out he has a past with DUIs and has a record. I looked past the cuse we all have a past. I fell in love with him and still im. The thing is that w...	Rebrose8	6	512	Aug 31, 2016 by el-cee
	Divorce? (Preview) My husband is a crack addict. He has hurt me physically and emotionally. He is mean anne has no control over hours anger. Married for 4 hellush years I feel under stupid. My mom and dad where drug/alcohol addicts. Help	Doyouseeme	7	559	Aug 31, 2016 by milkwood
	New here (Preview) Hi, I just found this board today. After reading a few of the posts, I think this is where I need to be. I have two qualifiers, my father (who doesn't drink much anymore, but still retains the personality) & my husband (a binge drinker). I can't control anything anymore, and I need to learn how to set b...	Searchingforpeace	6	433	Aug 30, 2016 by Searchingforpeace
	Courage to Change 29/8 (Preview) Today's c2c talks about guilt and shame, and the tendency we have to relive all of our poor behaviours over and over and allow them to weigh us down. In step 8, when we list persons we have harmed and become willing to make amends, these terrible burdens can become more managable and the thought of settin...	missmeliss	3	582	Aug 30, 2016 by LedfootJenny
	Newbie venting (Preview) Hello everyone. I am new here and this is my first time reaching out. My husband is an alcoholic-a very high functioning one. His family and coworkers would never in a million years guess he has a problem. My family loves him and thinks he is the 'nicest guy' as well. He has maybe one friend and he doe...	Samantha4073	11	606	Aug 30, 2016 by Maresie
	Working on Decision Making (Preview) This is definitely one of my character defects. For me, putting things off is usually tied into some sort of fear - fear of financial insecurity, fear of change, failure, embarrassment etc. These things can be subtle at times because I don't live with a lot of drama and chaos anymore. Inaction doesn't...	tiredtonite	5	638	Aug 30, 2016 by LedfootJenny
	Trying to forgive (Preview) I haven't been on here in a long time. My AH went from bad to worse, hit rock bottom and got sober. Yay! Right? He hasn't gone to any AA meetings or counseling but has been going to church with me twice a week. We have been very happy. It's like I got my best friend back! When he hit rock bottom he opened up about...	Dlove	12	756	Aug 30, 2016 by Crau
	How do I know when it's time to leave? (Preview) I realize this has probably been addressed here before. And that the response is that it's different for everyone. But I am struggling to know, when do I give up, when do I say, that's it, good luck, but I'm out, and when do I say no, I'm not going to leave, because everything about u that I hate is because yo...	Desperateinnyc	16	686	Aug 30, 2016 by Crau
	My consequences (Preview) I have stopped all enabling with my AS couple weeks ago knowing that he, as far as I know, is still without means, brings me to tears. I have to keep my head in recovery every day to remind myself why I'm doing this. The last couple of conversations via messenger we've had have been frank ones. He admitted...	seahorselady	6	429	Aug 30, 2016 by seahorselady
	Engaged to a 10 year sober alcoholic (Preview) When I first meet, my now fiancé, I had little knowledge or understanding of alcoholism. I was oblivious to the fact that my father suffered from alcoholism and drug addicted which lead to his recent death. Since it is a huge part of his life/my life I started reading researching about it. I have been to...	Wilady8	3	455	Aug 30, 2016 by Mattie
	Just when you think it's easy sailing.... (Preview) Sometimes life likes to remind you to stay alert and be on the lookout for icebergs/roadblocks/wrecking balls/etc. I missed my weekly meeting tonight for a fantasy football draft--it's my favorite time of year so definitely made it a priority today. That being said, a meeting a would have been ni...	Crau	4	457	Aug 30, 2016 by Jazzie18
	Hope for Today August 30 (Preview) Good morning Everyone- Today's reading is about taking the time to cherish those small moments of our lives that mean so much. The program and my faith in my Hp help me to stop and soak in the wonder of a sunrise or sunset. When I hear my kids laughing together, or have just had a connection in conversation...	yanksfan51	7	440	Aug 30, 2016 by serenity47
	Prayer (Preview) Hi folks, I've been missing meetings, isolating and feeling generally pretty rubbish, basically running off my own self will and blocking my HP from every aspect of my life. Finally reconnected with my sponsor and attended a meeting..... The meeting I thought was crap, but my HP always tries... I l...	Hopeful2112	4	554	Aug 30, 2016 by helldell
	Inner cheerleader (Preview) It dawned on me a few years into recovery that I had no internal voice that looked after me, rooted for me, said nice things to me, validated me, assured me, and cheered me on. I had no inner cheerleader. Rather, I had inner voices telling me I was weak, couldn't make it on my own, didn't deserve good things...	pinkchip	26	725	Aug 30, 2016 by milkwood
	When and how to reunite the kids (Preview) Will set a little context. My ex-wife has been active on and off for the past 11 years. Long story short. Two kids, age 14. She's had three major relapses/events. Episode one (Kids age 4): A few bottles of wine, pills, razor and bathtub. Kids find her. Hospital. Three day hold. ---a whole lot of...	Theotis5555	6	613	Aug 30, 2016 by Jerry F
	Courage and understanding (Preview) We were at a social gathering yesterday. Some people we know well, others are acquaintances and neighbours. Two women beside me started talking about another woman 'throwing her daughter out of the house' and how unfeeling she was. And went on to say that they would never do such a thing to their child...	deacon	6	554	Aug 29, 2016 by pinkchip
	Feeling like "hole in the doughnut" and need to connect! (Preview) hi Everyone! I recently started back in al anon (after going for 10 years from 30-40 years old) and in my town there is cross talk and gossip so I prefer PHONE MEETINGS that I just discovered. I am recently separated but having a VERy tough time as my parents are elderly and I also have a 13 year old to rais...	Charlotte22	4	599	Aug 29, 2016 by hotrod
	Help (Preview) Please help me figure out what is best to do. My 24 year old AS lives with us. He is drinking more and more. I cry all the time go to alanon but feel so sad. My husband his father is done. We have tried everything to help him but it's not worked so far. Setting boundaries is scarey for me. I want someone to tell me...	Wendy8	7	500	Aug 29, 2016 by el-cee
	Enabling (Preview) Hello all- I haven't posted in a long while, but I read and learn every day. I'm feeling really sad today. And also, confused. I'm getting more and more confused about enabling. I moved out over a year ago, when I couldn't stand my AH's secret drinking, lying about it, and the ensuing verbal abuse. I'...	oceanpine	8	737	Aug 29, 2016 by el-cee
	Reaching out (Preview) One of the things I often do is isolate myself and then complain and feel sorry for myself that no one loves me (which to me equals pays attention to me). As I am going through this process, I realize more every day how much I have made attention from others my source of validation and my definition of love....	e_i_m	5	547	Aug 29, 2016 by el-cee
	Hello! Newbie here having trouble reading posts and replies on Ascites (Preview) Hello! I awoke this morning exhausted and wanting to hear from someone who is or has gone through my situation. My adult son has severe alcoholic induced liver cirrhosis, non-viral hepatitis, and Ascites. He has been in the hospital more than not since March 2016. He is 39, divorced, unable to work,...	Momforever	8	560	Aug 28, 2016 by unbroken13
	I want to avoid lying (Preview) My separated AH and I are having an in-depth counseling weekend in 3 weeks. In the meantime, our counselor has asked us to avoid processing, until she gets there. My AH is very impulsive, and tries to process the past, present and future every time we are on the phone together. It's exhausting, and Wic...	oceanpine	5	474	Aug 28, 2016 by Iamhere
	Accepting the alcoholic's drinking (Preview) Since my last post here I feel like I, myself, have gotten worse. As of June, I had moved out and set boundaries that my ABF would not be around me drinking, come to my house drunk or drinking, etc. But after finding out that he was drinking behind my back, he wanted to show me that he could handle drinking...	madowl86	12	821	Aug 28, 2016 by hotrod
	dealing with eggshells and grouchy mornings (Preview) Hi everyone! I hope you all had a good day and will have a good day :) So it's been a week or so that my AH was true to his word that he'll no longer drink after the bad accident. But I am sensing the desire when he mentioned yesterday after going to church that he saw some beer bottles near the convent and co...	jocelgp	5	516	Aug 28, 2016 by likemyheart
	Caught myself (Preview) Hope everyone is jamming a good Sunday. I was just laughing. I caught myself plotting and planning a most complicated plan or more accurately, a manipulation! An issue that was none of my business. Luckily I realised. Laughed. Stopped myself before any damage done. Having nice cup of tea instead and...	Calm Lady	3	397	Aug 28, 2016 by Calm Lady
	wifelessness (Preview) My wife is now in the air...returning home from her home in Central Valley CA. I admire her courage, determination and commitment in our life. I asked Akua; my Higher Power for it's attention to her safe flight which I am assured Akua will do and still I hold my breath a bit as she covers the 2600 miles...	Jerry F	10	589	Aug 28, 2016 by SerenityRUS
	I'm new to this.. #new #help #advice (Preview) Not sure what I'm looking for. Help, advice, suggestions, or anything at this point. My husband has been sober now for about 6 months. He was addicted to opiates and I never had a clue! About two weeks before he finally admitted to me that he was addicted to drugs the sh*t hit the fan. No Money, pawned ever...	baht114	3	412	Aug 28, 2016 by Iamhere
	Alcoholism=altered brain function? (Preview) I wonder sometimes does alcohol just make the brain not process information, like the pathway to rationality is diverted or something? Yesterday there was an engagement party for my son and his fiance (given by the bride to be's family, so our two families and the wedding party could meet). My 36 AD w...	lgnutah	1	1974	Aug 28, 2016 by SerenityRUS
	C2C reading 8-28-2016 (Preview) The Courage to Change reading for August 28 speaks about sponsorship, in Al-Anon and how important it is to our recovery. By having a sponsor we find someone that we can trust and who will be there for us when we reach out. When we first ask someone to be our sponsor, it is a difficult procedure...	hotrod	1	357	Aug 28, 2016 by Iamhere
	Finding a sponsor (Preview) I was first in al-anon about eight years ago for probably two years. I found tremendous serenity and made important changes in my life. When I first came into the rooms I heard about (and read about) how important it was to find a sponsor. I asked three women at three different meetings who all seemed to h...	e_i_m	7	1201	Aug 28, 2016 by Calm Lady
	Selfish A's (Preview) I've been laid up in bed basically all day, this morning when I woke up I was getting worrying dizzy spells - like a swimming sensation. I've no idea what it was, bit of a headache too. I've felt exhausted, tired, really wiped out, no appetite either. Just been drinking water. Got up around 7pm to make s...	jitsuka	11	803	Aug 28, 2016 by jitsuka
	Financial perspective needed (Preview) Money is a big issue for me. I'm blessed to have a good job and have no concerns for my financial well-being. However, as I consider leaving my A, I know the division of property and assets will be a factor. We've been married six years, and we kept our money separate. I've saved a lot in company 401k, and in...	Mcat54	3	456	Aug 27, 2016 by Jerry F
	Newbie and need advice! (Preview) Hello, I have have been dating my boyfriend for around 6 m koonths. I knew from the beginning he is an alcoholic and that he had been sober for just under a year. He recently had a relapse and told his family and I he could reel it back in with just going to meetings. It didn't work and he asked me to take him to...	Cornwell13	2	322	Aug 27, 2016 by Iamhere
	C2C August 27-2016 (Preview) The C2C reading for August 27 speaks about our expectations upon entering our first Al-Anon meeting .. The reading suggests that most of us thought that we would be given tools to stop the alcoholic from drinking and were disappointed .Instead,It was suggested that we were powerless over alc...	hotrod	1	397	Aug 27, 2016 by Iamhere
	what is wrong with me and why can I not leave the abf (Preview) I have been in deep thought about my relationship with the abf. We have a house together and I went and got an apartment, as a plan B. I still have not moved any of my belongings into the apartment from the house. What am I waiting for? He has now been sober for 10 plus days and says this time, he is really done w...	joker	17	657	Aug 27, 2016 by CyndiODAT
	technical question (Preview) How do I change my username? My AH might recognize mine if he sees this site (if I don't close the browser).	laxplayer24	4	318	Aug 27, 2016 by hotrod
	The sad slow awakening to walking away. (Preview) So I posted here last summer. I also sat in on chat room sessions. This website opened me up to realizing what i was going to have to do to start keeping my sanity. It has helped. I went to a face to face and got to hear how people focused and remembered themselves. Boundaries are not something that was shown...	Lovejailed	2	518	Aug 26, 2016 by Iamhere
	introduction (Preview) Hi, I am new. I have not started attending meetings yet but have found one in my town that I want to try. I just want to introduce myself. Long story short, I was married to a guy named Alan in 1999. He had a history of alcoholism and went through periods of severe drinking when we were married. He sober...	DanielleB	4	534	Aug 26, 2016 by Iamhere
	C2C 8/24 Anger - Let it Begin With Me (Preview) "We can pave the way for calm, reasonable communication only if we first find healthy outlets for our own negative feelings." ~ The Dilemma of the Alcoholic MarriageTodays reading features an AlAnon member reflecting on the unpleasant change anger brought upon their character. The author had mad...	Enigmatic	6	1035	Aug 26, 2016 by KennyFenderjazz
	a quick question (Preview) Hi all, quick question. i have been talking to my AS lately. I have been trying to work my program and not enable, mother or manage. I am seeing my patterns in the way I interact with him and i am becoming more thoughtful before doing or saying something that may be old behavior. So after my conversation wi...	seahorselady	8	455	Aug 26, 2016 by seahorselady
	Another JUST FOR TODAY (Preview) When I came to Al-anon my morning prayers has included the Serenity Prayer, The Surrender Prayer and Just for Today. I like the Just for Today because of its similarity to the Decalogue of Pope John XXIII. This morning I was struck by this part: Just for today, I will adjust myself to what is, and not tr...	jocelgp	5	452	Aug 26, 2016 by Iamhere
	Courage to Change (C2C) 8/26/16 (Preview) Today's reading talks about looking back and reproaching ourselves for not knowing what we did not know. As I type that, I remember wondering and now - I see how silly it seems to me to be in 'black and white'. How of course could we know what is not revealed to us? We see when looking back that this diseas...	Iamhere	1	400	Aug 26, 2016 by hotrod
	Asking for prayers from those who pray (Preview) I have never asked for prayers for myself (that I can recall), but today I am asking all who will to please pray for me. I, myself, can only ask "Thy Will Be Done" because I don't believe in praying for myself in such a situation. It feels selfish to me. Today is my birthday (late 40's) and I meet with my new (f...	Doingmybest	13	588	Aug 25, 2016 by tiredtonite
	Taking the verbal abuse personally (Preview) I am new to Al Anon and I am new to this forum. The A in my life is my adult sister (who I live with). She is not sober but she is trying (I am thankful for this). When she drinks, she becomes very emotional and very angry/irate specifically towards me. I know that it is the disease talking and my mother (who als...	Bee22	3	529	Aug 25, 2016 by Iamhere
	Another step closer to being done .. (Preview) The other day I heard from my attorney and we are another step closer to having things pushed through court. The last court appearance hopefully ever .. however .. LOL .. time will tell. I'm waiting for things to seriously blow up on my X in regards to money with the wife. You know it doesn't matter and...	SerenityRUS	5	538	Aug 25, 2016 by Iamhere
	feeling frustrated (Preview) my addict husband of 26 years just got a job and he thinks that I am not happy for him, I am happy for us both because he hasn't had a stable job in 5 Years. He just recently got out of a mental health facility because he was so depressed that he wanted to kill himself because he says that not having a job makes h...	shejon	6	573	Aug 25, 2016 by Iamhere
	How do I handle it all?? (Preview) New to the page. I am married to a recovered acholic that is at it again. Just done with it all.	Coloradogold	4	538	Aug 25, 2016 by Iamhere
	Courage to Change (C2C) 8/25/16 (Preview) Today's reading in Courage to Change compares our emotional awareness and growth in recovery to a music student learning how to play the piano. When first starting, the student learns just a few keys, playable with one hand. Similar, in early recovery, we begin to feel our feelings and as we grow in...	Iamhere	4	480	Aug 25, 2016 by YARNCRAZY
	progress (Preview) I am so grateful today. The ABF remains sober and its almost 2 weeks. He may have hit his bottom. I had left while he was in full fledged active drinking and just let him be. He was a complete mess after 5 days of heavy, heavy drinking. We took the empty's back for refund and there was 460 empty's. That was in a...	joker	4	385	Aug 25, 2016 by Iamhere
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.