Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

CyndiODAT · CyndiODAT

Hi everyone, My best friend of 31 years is an alcoholic. She and I have 'broken' up a few times over the years. The last time we didn't speak for close to two years. In the past three years, I've watched the dysfunction in her family unfold at a rapid rate. Not only are they big partiers, but they had un...

geems · geems

Morning (((Kids)))! The list of what we learn is exciting. Take the first thing they tell us we'll learn. "Not to suffer because of the actions or reactions of other people." The way to learn that will require my participation in and commitment to the program. It's my job to do the learning. My particul...

Crau · Crau

I attended a concert last night for a band that is a favorite of my ex. It would be classified as great drinking music and many of the concert we did just that. There was a man at the concert with us whom we all watched and laughed at as he drunkenly danced with the staff that came to clean up the beer that spill...

blindsided · blindsided

Today is my AH's and my 18th wedding anniversary. He has been drinking all weekend and I have been crying all weekend. I am so lonely. I have been trying to decide if I should stay or leave for a few months. I change my mind every day. I don't know how much longer I can take this behavior. I go to f2f meet...

missmeliss · missmeliss

Today's c2c speaks of the 7th step, where we humbly ask our HP to remove our shortcomings. It suggests that we may see our feelings as shortcomings (anger, fear, guilt etc) and hope that they will be removed; of course this won't happen. What can happen is that our denial of our feelings and our determin...

madowl86 · madowl86

Hi all, My ABF also dabbles in prescription pills, but he rarely admits it to me. He says he will occasionally "pop a perk" but that it's not an all the time thing. Recently this summer I have noticed it has become more frequent. I have either found pills themselves, bottles, or messages. Just today...

jojo8466 · jojo8466

I read a quote or a saying today that said "AA promises sobriety to the alcoholic - Al-Anon promises serenity to the person that loves the alcoholic". I LOVE THAT SAYING. It makes me feel like there is hope for me to have a peaceful and stable life again. And the ex ABF can have his sobriety - good for him...

tired of it · tired of it

As I read posts and live my crappy life, I have to ask "why are we doing this?" Why do we put up with the BS day in and day out??? My binge AH just continues to lie and lie more. Says he is going to quit but just keeps going. Can't get up for work in the morning or has to take a break in the middle of the day. We ow...

Groo · Groo

My AH is so soaked in alcohol, I doubt we will ever see the real him again. He has PSTD (not military related), anxiety, delusions, paranoia, and of course does all manner of stupid things while drunk. Last week he sent a barrage of crazy/delusional and abusive drunken text messages to everyone that...

pinkchip · pinkchip

A few months ago my ex-A friended me on Facebook. I have kept loosely in touch with him. Mostly hearing about his drama with new drunk/druggie boyfriends and I would roll my eyes and congratulate myself for moving on. So...this time, I see on facebook he is "moving back to DC his old stomping grounds to p...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for September 4 addresses the important slogan :"let go and let God and focus on yourself" The reading points out that when we do so,we discover an increasing calmness in our mind. and many times we become uncomfortable because we know how to live in crisis but it often takes a adj...

el-cee · el-cee

Im a grateful member of alanon and i am not... Putting up with unacceptable behaviour for long anymore Blind to what is going on in my life anymore Hateful and bitter anymore Above or below anyone anymore Walking with my head down wracked with shame and embarrassment anymore Unforgiving and narrow mi...

Taraxacum · Taraxacum

I'm realizing a woman who I started to become friends with may be very dramatic and creating chaos in her own life. I noticed a feeling in myself when we talk sometimes; I'm really trying to do or say what I think she wants me to do or say or what I think will keep her happy with me. It is an old and unhealthy pat...

OptimisticPi · OptimisticPi

You guys. I completely detached with love from my ex. I got a dog. I got two great job opportunities. I'm getting in shape again. I was getting some distance... And then I relapsed. I actually went to a party, and now I just see the whole alcoholic and co-dependent relationships. A FA ended up talking to m...

jojo8466 · jojo8466

So I was informed by my ABF today by text that "he needs to stay away for awhile from texting me and calling me on the phone and he's really sorry" - whatever - this is what happens every time after he detoxes and starts talking to his sponsor and going to meetings. He convinces himself (or someone convinc...

Tossed Salad · Tossed Salad

Hi all. I haven't been around this board in a while but have regularly been attending meetings. Life has been manageable and I have been trying to enjoy the summer with my two boys (12 & 9). Unfortunately the progression of my ex's active addiction is starting to weigh heavily on me. To summari...

El · El

Sorry. There are NO perks to alcoholism and its effects on everyone around it. However, I have been able to find a little humor today and that's better than how I used to react. As we all know, every day is a new adventure with our A's. With my AH, it is a different mood most days. He can be quiet and just ca...

hotrod · hotrod

C2C reading for September 3 speaks about our fantasies and dreams prior to entering Al-Anon. The reading points out that many would often project and state some day I'll do this project or someday I'll call my friend or someday I'll be happy and take that trip. We put off our happiness and are wil...

MarciaP · MarciaP

I just received this workbook and I love it and can not wait to get started. Should I wait until I have a sponsor to start this? There are 4 people in my group that might be potential sponsors for me but I am still having trouble with courage to ask. Thanks!

jojo8466 · jojo8466

This whole detaching with love thing would be a lot easier if we didn't live in the electronic age of cell phones, emails, texts, face times, facebook etc.......it's hard to stick to your boundaries when the person constantly on your mind is just a push of a button away from contact -

easterjane · easterjane

Hi everyone. This is my first time on the forums. I have been attending al anon for the past few months and it has helped me immensely. My husband had been in recovery for 7 months, 3 of these in intense residential rehab, he is now living in supported accommodation and attends aftercare with the same pro...

Charlotte22 · Charlotte22

I am going to need to go to TONS of meetings to handle what is going on in my life. I am very ashamed to share this but my ex husband was arrested for some "billing" issue in 2010. we both thought it was a mistake and the government will not let go of it! They will NOT settle and we have a 13 year old son. My hus...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Yesterday in our F2F meeting, we were talking about Acceptance. As a double-winner, I have the pleasure of tons of literature from both sides of the table. This popped into my head and I promised to bring it back to the group next week. I've modified it just a bit to remove one line for As - it's conside...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading is about Step 1 - "We admitted we are powerless over alcohol and our lives have become unmanageable." The writer suggests that one word describes this step for them - that word is Grief. They had a friend who rapidly progressed through the disease from reasonable health and apparen...

jojo8466 · jojo8466

I don't understand why somedays I feel so strong and other days so week - I've done really well not contacting him for a couple of days and then last night and this morning I sent texts and called him. UGH. I just make myself a nervous wreck and sick by trying to contact him and then anxious on whether he wi...

A new member at my home group · e_i_m

I was at my home group meeting tonight -- great meeting, as it always is. I feel very comfortable there, and I have been wanting to make friends with people from al-anon outside of the meetings, but it has never happened. I've called a couple of people and they never called me back, and I've hung around ho...

abc3613 · abc3613

Hello. This is my first post to this board so please bear with me if I make a mistake or ramble too much. I have been married to my alcoholic husband for 14 years and a total together of 18 years. We have 3 boys ages 13,9, and 3. His drinking progressively became out of control over the last 3 years, coming to a...

Mcat54 · Mcat54

My AH suggested inviting my mom for dinner Saturday and offered to call. We spent morning and early afternoon apart. He texts me that my mom accepted. Great. I get home, and we talk about dinner with mom. He has red wine stains on his mouth. Off balance. I say I'm going to have a nap. He says he will nap wi...

jojo8466 · jojo8466

So I'm at work today and I get a text from my ABF stating that "ok I'm doing it again...going into detox...please don't text or call me...they will have my phone....I'll text and call when I can....I'm so very sorry I'm doing this again." - to which I replied "that's OK babe...just get well". Thanks to fi...

Lori62 · Lori62

Hello, This is so painfully hard to see what happened in the last week. My son, was charged w/ a DUI and it's been a nightmare. He's really a great son who made a bad choice. he wasn't driving, but the engine was on. He fell asleep, he had plucked over on a side street to eat and fell asleep, that's when the...

jojo8466 · jojo8466

Just curious - how long does it take for the alcohol and effects from it to leave an alcoholics brain and their true personality is finally revealed? I read two years somewhere but don't know if that's true.

joker · joker

I am not sure what has happened but the alcoholic bf remains sober-2 weeks since his last bender and went back to work. He has money too and has not run to the liquor store. Its a blessing for today! The home is so much saner now and calmer. How long will this last, I am not certain. But for today, its calm. For...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading discusses the Second Tradition and how each group through the group conscience can modify, evolve and change to benefit those in search of support because of Alcoholism. The writer suggests their home group meetings had became stale, and membership was primarily status quo with...

Bri23 · Bri23

Hello all, I've never been on here before, or even posted on a forum before. I am basically willing to try anything at this point though. I am in a newer relationship with someone who has completed the 12 step program and was sober for a couple years. He started drinking again though (a while before we sta...

Fedora · Fedora

I have a general question about forgiving people. I saw that there was another thread related to this topic but I didn't want to hijack that person's thread as my question is kind of general. I've heard it often said that "forgiving is not forgetting", and that forgiving involves letting go of hurts/...

hotrod · hotrod

.http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t62596671/alanon-step-1-sept-1-2016/

e_i_m · e_i_m

I'm coming to the realization that I have smothered my authentic self and don't know myself all that well, and now I want the real me to come blooming out. I am feeling very energized and excited about really knowing myself and starting to express my likes and dislikes, my preferences, and what I care ab...

lookingup · lookingup

This is a tough one for me bounderies,setting them and how to verblly say them with consequences to follow?? My story today is after all my drama and chaos of getting my qualifiers out of my home last night night my ex addict boyfriend kept texting my ph,im very much over him though he stole my billfold an...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

The beginning of love is to let those we love be perfectly themselves and not to twist them to fit our own image. ~ Thomas MertonTodays reading addresses the tendency to try to change other people. The author admitted they regularly attempted this to ensure they got what they wanted out of a relationsh...

pinksurvivor · pinksurvivor

So I finally stood up for myself and actually called the police this time. Why is it that I am blamed for everything wrong in his life? He was an alcoholic before I met him and he's still an alcoholic now. The alcoholic in question has a huge support group of enablers-his boss, his sister, his co-workers,...

YARNCRAZY · YARNCRAZY

Im so grateful to be out of the insanity, the whirling dervish that was my life 8 mths ago. XAH has of course relapsed after his 4-5 mth stay in rehab and now down the slippery slope to death by bottle of vodka[ many bottles of vodka] Me, Im unemployed still, money running low but Im happier then Ive been ev...

alanonfan · alanonfan

I've spend the best part of the day on step 4 and it's emotionally exhausting and will take me months but I'm loving it and it's making me think very carefully about my behaviour. They should teach this in school :)

CH_Husband_Dad · CH_Husband_Dad

I went to my first meeting yesterday. I will go back but I'm just not sure. One issue is that my hearing is not good enough and I missed so much. When you don't know what's going on to begin with that makes it difficult. I didn't research it before I went. I was kind of hoping for a two way conversation typ...

laxplayer24 · laxplayer24

I have tried meetings in the past and heard how you have to not let his drinking affect you......live your own life etc. How is that possible?? If you are married or live together then you can't just live your own life. Bills need to be paid. I am married to a binge drinker alcoholic. He can stay drunk f...

Desperateinnyc · Desperateinnyc

I wrote a lot, always did. In some ways it helps me get rid of some stuff, leave it on the page so to speak, and I also like to go back to it, after some time and see how I've grown..I wrote this tonight, just because I was angry, and I wanted to get it out and pit somewhere..it felt good. No id never show my BF, or h...

alanonfan · alanonfan

Hello fellow alanoners. I've been hanging out here and going to meetings for quite some time and suddenly I've seen the light. I woke up this morning to a barrage of abuse from my A who was using words like 'scumbag' 'utter b***d' 'piece of filth' and of course turning everything around to blame me. I hav...

shimo · shimo

Al-Anon meeting in the chat room begins in approximately 20 minutes. Come on in and join us!

likemyheart · likemyheart

Reading Serenity's recent post about what she doesn't miss - I can echo that sentiment, I do NOT miss the craziness of being part of an alcohol-fueled relationship. But it gets me thinkin, something I'm accused of over-doing (but brain doesn't have an off switch right Serenity?); anyway, thinking a...

Calm Lady · Calm Lady

So had a nice day, been working and loving my program. Pleasant light hearted banter between AH and myself. We were cleaning the kitchen together. I jokingly pointed out the ring of crumbs on the floor when AH stands to have his midnight feast each night. In an instant, he turned nasty. This is what I do...

Rebrose8 · Rebrose8

HI there I'm new and need help I have been with my boyfriend for a year now and when I meet him I thought he was the greats guy and still is when he don't drink. Latter I found out he has a past with DUIs and has a record. I looked past the cuse we all have a past. I fell in love with him and still im. The thing is that w...

Doyouseeme · Doyouseeme

My husband is a crack addict. He has hurt me physically and emotionally. He is mean anne has no control over hours anger. Married for 4 hellush years I feel under stupid. My mom and dad where drug/alcohol addicts. Help

Searchingforpeace · Searchingforpeace

Hi, I just found this board today. After reading a few of the posts, I think this is where I need to be. I have two qualifiers, my father (who doesn't drink much anymore, but still retains the personality) & my husband (a binge drinker). I can't control anything anymore, and I need to learn how to set b...

missmeliss · missmeliss

Today's c2c talks about guilt and shame, and the tendency we have to relive all of our poor behaviours over and over and allow them to weigh us down. In step 8, when we list persons we have harmed and become willing to make amends, these terrible burdens can become more managable and the thought of settin...

Samantha4073 · Samantha4073

Hello everyone. I am new here and this is my first time reaching out. My husband is an alcoholic-a very high functioning one. His family and coworkers would never in a million years guess he has a problem. My family loves him and thinks he is the 'nicest guy' as well. He has maybe one friend and he doe...

tiredtonite · tiredtonite

This is definitely one of my character defects. For me, putting things off is usually tied into some sort of fear - fear of financial insecurity, fear of change, failure, embarrassment etc. These things can be subtle at times because I don't live with a lot of drama and chaos anymore. Inaction doesn't...

Dlove · Dlove

I haven't been on here in a long time. My AH went from bad to worse, hit rock bottom and got sober. Yay! Right? He hasn't gone to any AA meetings or counseling but has been going to church with me twice a week. We have been very happy. It's like I got my best friend back! When he hit rock bottom he opened up about...

Desperateinnyc · Desperateinnyc

I realize this has probably been addressed here before. And that the response is that it's different for everyone. But I am struggling to know, when do I give up, when do I say, that's it, good luck, but I'm out, and when do I say no, I'm not going to leave, because everything about u that I hate is because yo...

seahorselady · seahorselady

I have stopped all enabling with my AS couple weeks ago knowing that he, as far as I know, is still without means, brings me to tears. I have to keep my head in recovery every day to remind myself why I'm doing this. The last couple of conversations via messenger we've had have been frank ones. He admitted...

Wilady8 · Wilady8

When I first meet, my now fiancé, I had little knowledge or understanding of alcoholism. I was oblivious to the fact that my father suffered from alcoholism and drug addicted which lead to his recent death. Since it is a huge part of his life/my life I started reading researching about it. I have been to...

Crau · Crau

Sometimes life likes to remind you to stay alert and be on the lookout for icebergs/roadblocks/wrecking balls/etc. I missed my weekly meeting tonight for a fantasy football draft--it's my favorite time of year so definitely made it a priority today. That being said, a meeting a would have been ni...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	"Best Friend" (Preview) Hi everyone, My best friend of 31 years is an alcoholic. She and I have 'broken' up a few times over the years. The last time we didn't speak for close to two years. In the past three years, I've watched the dysfunction in her family unfold at a rapid rate. Not only are they big partiers, but they had un...	CyndiODAT	3	862	Sep 5, 2016 by hotrod
	In Al-Anon We Learn (Preview) Morning (((Kids)))! The list of what we learn is exciting. Take the first thing they tell us we'll learn. "Not to suffer because of the actions or reactions of other people." The way to learn that will require my participation in and commitment to the program. It's my job to do the learning. My particul...	geems	7	615	Sep 5, 2016 by Iamhere
	A different lens (Preview) I attended a concert last night for a band that is a favorite of my ex. It would be classified as great drinking music and many of the concert we did just that. There was a man at the concert with us whom we all watched and laughed at as he drunkenly danced with the staff that came to clean up the beer that spill...	Crau	1	450	Sep 5, 2016 by Iamhere
	Happy Anniversary! (Preview) Today is my AH's and my 18th wedding anniversary. He has been drinking all weekend and I have been crying all weekend. I am so lonely. I have been trying to decide if I should stay or leave for a few months. I change my mind every day. I don't know how much longer I can take this behavior. I go to f2f meet...	blindsided	4	504	Sep 5, 2016 by Iamhere
	Courage to Change 5/9 (Preview) Today's c2c speaks of the 7th step, where we humbly ask our HP to remove our shortcomings. It suggests that we may see our feelings as shortcomings (anger, fear, guilt etc) and hope that they will be removed; of course this won't happen. What can happen is that our denial of our feelings and our determin...	missmeliss	3	561	Sep 5, 2016 by hotrod
	ABF abusing pills (Preview) Hi all, My ABF also dabbles in prescription pills, but he rarely admits it to me. He says he will occasionally "pop a perk" but that it's not an all the time thing. Recently this summer I have noticed it has become more frequent. I have either found pills themselves, bottles, or messages. Just today...	madowl86	6	591	Sep 5, 2016 by pinkchip
	Quote / Saying... (Preview) I read a quote or a saying today that said "AA promises sobriety to the alcoholic - Al-Anon promises serenity to the person that loves the alcoholic". I LOVE THAT SAYING. It makes me feel like there is hope for me to have a peaceful and stable life again. And the ex ABF can have his sobriety - good for him...	jojo8466	1	454	Sep 4, 2016 by hotrod
	why are we doing this (Preview) As I read posts and live my crappy life, I have to ask "why are we doing this?" Why do we put up with the BS day in and day out??? My binge AH just continues to lie and lie more. Says he is going to quit but just keeps going. Can't get up for work in the morning or has to take a break in the middle of the day. We ow...	tired of it	20	770	Sep 4, 2016 by jojo8466
	Just Venting... (Preview) My AH is so soaked in alcohol, I doubt we will ever see the real him again. He has PSTD (not military related), anxiety, delusions, paranoia, and of course does all manner of stupid things while drunk. Last week he sent a barrage of crazy/delusional and abusive drunken text messages to everyone that...	Groo	13	625	Sep 4, 2016 by tired of it
	Clarity 8 years later (Preview) A few months ago my ex-A friended me on Facebook. I have kept loosely in touch with him. Mostly hearing about his drama with new drunk/druggie boyfriends and I would roll my eyes and congratulate myself for moving on. So...this time, I see on facebook he is "moving back to DC his old stomping grounds to p...	pinkchip	7	608	Sep 4, 2016 by andromeda
	Courage to Change Reading 9-4-2016 (Preview) The C2C reading for September 4 addresses the important slogan :"let go and let God and focus on yourself" The reading points out that when we do so,we discover an increasing calmness in our mind. and many times we become uncomfortable because we know how to live in crisis but it often takes a adj...	hotrod	5	786	Sep 4, 2016 by maryjane
	What im not.... (Preview) Im a grateful member of alanon and i am not... Putting up with unacceptable behaviour for long anymore Blind to what is going on in my life anymore Hateful and bitter anymore Above or below anyone anymore Walking with my head down wracked with shame and embarrassment anymore Unforgiving and narrow mi...	el-cee	4	524	Sep 4, 2016 by Calm Lady
	Advice please - healthy boundaries with dramatic friend (Preview) I'm realizing a woman who I started to become friends with may be very dramatic and creating chaos in her own life. I noticed a feeling in myself when we talk sometimes; I'm really trying to do or say what I think she wants me to do or say or what I think will keep her happy with me. It is an old and unhealthy pat...	Taraxacum	4	581	Sep 4, 2016 by Calm Lady
	I was doing so well... (Preview) You guys. I completely detached with love from my ex. I got a dog. I got two great job opportunities. I'm getting in shape again. I was getting some distance... And then I relapsed. I actually went to a party, and now I just see the whole alcoholic and co-dependent relationships. A FA ended up talking to m...	OptimisticPi	6	624	Sep 3, 2016 by Jerry F
	And here we go again... (Preview) So I was informed by my ABF today by text that "he needs to stay away for awhile from texting me and calling me on the phone and he's really sorry" - whatever - this is what happens every time after he detoxes and starts talking to his sponsor and going to meetings. He convinces himself (or someone convinc...	jojo8466	5	548	Sep 3, 2016 by Crau
	Need some ESH... (Preview) Hi all. I haven't been around this board in a while but have regularly been attending meetings. Life has been manageable and I have been trying to enjoy the summer with my two boys (12 & 9). Unfortunately the progression of my ex's active addiction is starting to weigh heavily on me. To summari...	Tossed Salad	10	741	Sep 3, 2016 by Tossed Salad
	There might be a perk or two (Preview) Sorry. There are NO perks to alcoholism and its effects on everyone around it. However, I have been able to find a little humor today and that's better than how I used to react. As we all know, every day is a new adventure with our A's. With my AH, it is a different mood most days. He can be quiet and just ca...	El	5	745	Sep 3, 2016 by Calm Lady
	Courge to Change Reading 9-3-2016 (Preview) C2C reading for September 3 speaks about our fantasies and dreams prior to entering Al-Anon. The reading points out that many would often project and state some day I'll do this project or someday I'll call my friend or someday I'll be happy and take that trip. We put off our happiness and are wil...	hotrod	3	504	Sep 3, 2016 by Jill
	Reaching For Personal Freedom (Preview) I just received this workbook and I love it and can not wait to get started. Should I wait until I have a sponsor to start this? There are 4 people in my group that might be potential sponsors for me but I am still having trouble with courage to ask. Thanks!	MarciaP	1	2095	Sep 3, 2016 by Iamhere
	Cell phones, emails, texts, ugh (Preview) This whole detaching with love thing would be a lot easier if we didn't live in the electronic age of cell phones, emails, texts, face times, facebook etc.......it's hard to stick to your boundaries when the person constantly on your mind is just a push of a button away from contact -	jojo8466	14	737	Sep 3, 2016 by jojo8466
	Is it wrong for my husband to discuss his recovery with me? (Preview) Hi everyone. This is my first time on the forums. I have been attending al anon for the past few months and it has helped me immensely. My husband had been in recovery for 7 months, 3 of these in intense residential rehab, he is now living in supported accommodation and attends aftercare with the same pro...	easterjane	6	593	Sep 3, 2016 by Taraxacum
	Obsession about Husbands Legal issues (Preview) I am going to need to go to TONS of meetings to handle what is going on in my life. I am very ashamed to share this but my ex husband was arrested for some "billing" issue in 2010. we both thought it was a mistake and the government will not let go of it! They will NOT settle and we have a 13 year old son. My hus...	Charlotte22	4	525	Sep 2, 2016 by pinkchip
	Acceptance - P 449 (modified from Big Book) (Preview) Yesterday in our F2F meeting, we were talking about Acceptance. As a double-winner, I have the pleasure of tons of literature from both sides of the table. This popped into my head and I promised to bring it back to the group next week. I've modified it just a bit to remove one line for As - it's conside...	Iamhere	14	5785	Sep 2, 2016 by Iamhere
	Courage to Change (C2C) 9/2/16 (Preview) Today's reading is about Step 1 - "We admitted we are powerless over alcohol and our lives have become unmanageable." The writer suggests that one word describes this step for them - that word is Grief. They had a friend who rapidly progressed through the disease from reasonable health and apparen...	Iamhere	5	556	Sep 2, 2016 by Iamhere
	Walking away is not easy..... (Preview) I don't understand why somedays I feel so strong and other days so week - I've done really well not contacting him for a couple of days and then last night and this morning I sent texts and called him. UGH. I just make myself a nervous wreck and sick by trying to contact him and then anxious on whether he wi...	jojo8466	15	728	Sep 2, 2016 by alanonfan
	A new member at my home group (Preview) I was at my home group meeting tonight -- great meeting, as it always is. I feel very comfortable there, and I have been wanting to make friends with people from al-anon outside of the meetings, but it has never happened. I've called a couple of people and they never called me back, and I've hung around ho...	e_i_m	5	631	Sep 2, 2016 by tired of it
	Confused and need feedback please (Preview) Hello. This is my first post to this board so please bear with me if I make a mistake or ramble too much. I have been married to my alcoholic husband for 14 years and a total together of 18 years. We have 3 boys ages 13,9, and 3. His drinking progressively became out of control over the last 3 years, coming to a...	abc3613	11	891	Sep 2, 2016 by Jerry F
	Twilight zone (Preview) My AH suggested inviting my mom for dinner Saturday and offered to call. We spent morning and early afternoon apart. He texts me that my mom accepted. Great. I get home, and we talk about dinner with mom. He has red wine stains on his mouth. Off balance. I say I'm going to have a nap. He says he will nap wi...	Mcat54	10	880	Sep 2, 2016 by Iamhere
	Detoxing....AGAIN (Preview) So I'm at work today and I get a text from my ABF stating that "ok I'm doing it again...going into detox...please don't text or call me...they will have my phone....I'll text and call when I can....I'm so very sorry I'm doing this again." - to which I replied "that's OK babe...just get well". Thanks to fi...	jojo8466	5	919	Sep 2, 2016 by Iamhere
	Son charged w/ DUI (Preview) Hello, This is so painfully hard to see what happened in the last week. My son, was charged w/ a DUI and it's been a nightmare. He's really a great son who made a bad choice. he wasn't driving, but the engine was on. He fell asleep, he had plucked over on a side street to eat and fell asleep, that's when the...	Lori62	6	741	Sep 2, 2016 by el-cee
	Recovery question about alcoholism... (Preview) Just curious - how long does it take for the alcohol and effects from it to leave an alcoholics brain and their true personality is finally revealed? I read two years somewhere but don't know if that's true.	jojo8466	6	646	Sep 1, 2016 by Helpangel
	Grateful today (Preview) I am not sure what has happened but the alcoholic bf remains sober-2 weeks since his last bender and went back to work. He has money too and has not run to the liquor store. Its a blessing for today! The home is so much saner now and calmer. How long will this last, I am not certain. But for today, its calm. For...	joker	4	533	Sep 1, 2016 by andromeda
	Courage to Change (C2C) 9/1/16 (Preview) Today's reading discusses the Second Tradition and how each group through the group conscience can modify, evolve and change to benefit those in search of support because of Alcoholism. The writer suggests their home group meetings had became stale, and membership was primarily status quo with...	Iamhere	3	582	Sep 1, 2016 by Iamhere
	Feeling low... (Preview) Hello all, I've never been on here before, or even posted on a forum before. I am basically willing to try anything at this point though. I am in a newer relationship with someone who has completed the 12 step program and was sober for a couple years. He started drinking again though (a while before we sta...	Bri23	13	746	Sep 1, 2016 by maryjane
	question about forgiving (Preview) I have a general question about forgiving people. I saw that there was another thread related to this topic but I didn't want to hijack that person's thread as my question is kind of general. I've heard it often said that "forgiving is not forgetting", and that forgiving involves letting go of hurts/...	Fedora	21	741	Sep 1, 2016 by Iamhere
	Step One posted to the Step Board (Preview) .http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t62596671/alanon-step-1-sept-1-2016/	hotrod	1	499	Sep 1, 2016 by Iamhere
	Getting to know myself (Preview) I'm coming to the realization that I have smothered my authentic self and don't know myself all that well, and now I want the real me to come blooming out. I am feeling very energized and excited about really knowing myself and starting to express my likes and dislikes, my preferences, and what I care ab...	e_i_m	4	590	Sep 1, 2016 by milkwood
	Setting boundaries !!! (Preview) This is a tough one for me bounderies,setting them and how to verblly say them with consequences to follow?? My story today is after all my drama and chaos of getting my qualifiers out of my home last night night my ex addict boyfriend kept texting my ph,im very much over him though he stole my billfold an...	lookingup	7	670	Aug 31, 2016 by lookingup
	C2C 8/31 Trying to Change Others (Preview) The beginning of love is to let those we love be perfectly themselves and not to twist them to fit our own image. ~ Thomas MertonTodays reading addresses the tendency to try to change other people. The author admitted they regularly attempted this to ensure they got what they wanted out of a relationsh...	Enigmatic	5	706	Aug 31, 2016 by Enigmatic
	Blame-why does every alcoholic blame all their misfortunes on someone else? His friends are threatening me (Preview) So I finally stood up for myself and actually called the police this time. Why is it that I am blamed for everything wrong in his life? He was an alcoholic before I met him and he's still an alcoholic now. The alcoholic in question has a huge support group of enablers-his boss, his sister, his co-workers,...	pinksurvivor	1	585	Aug 31, 2016 by hotrod
	Grateful (Preview) Im so grateful to be out of the insanity, the whirling dervish that was my life 8 mths ago. XAH has of course relapsed after his 4-5 mth stay in rehab and now down the slippery slope to death by bottle of vodka[ many bottles of vodka] Me, Im unemployed still, money running low but Im happier then Ive been ev...	YARNCRAZY	4	543	Aug 31, 2016 by hotrod
	Step 4 (Preview) I've spend the best part of the day on step 4 and it's emotionally exhausting and will take me months but I'm loving it and it's making me think very carefully about my behaviour. They should teach this in school :)	alanonfan	2	478	Aug 31, 2016 by hotrod
	Went to first meeting yesterday. Not sure. (Preview) I went to my first meeting yesterday. I will go back but I'm just not sure. One issue is that my hearing is not good enough and I missed so much. When you don't know what's going on to begin with that makes it difficult. I didn't research it before I went. I was kind of hoping for a two way conversation typ...	CH_Husband_Dad	4	575	Aug 31, 2016 by Iamhere
	living with a binge drinker (Preview) I have tried meetings in the past and heard how you have to not let his drinking affect you......live your own life etc. How is that possible?? If you are married or live together then you can't just live your own life. Bills need to be paid. I am married to a binge drinker alcoholic. He can stay drunk f...	laxplayer24	13	2800	Aug 31, 2016 by geems
	Writing is so cathartic for me..pls read when you have time (Preview) I wrote a lot, always did. In some ways it helps me get rid of some stuff, leave it on the page so to speak, and I also like to go back to it, after some time and see how I've grown..I wrote this tonight, just because I was angry, and I wanted to get it out and pit somewhere..it felt good. No id never show my BF, or h...	Desperateinnyc	8	615	Aug 31, 2016 by savingmyself
	Some verbal abuse has done me a great favour. (Preview) Hello fellow alanoners. I've been hanging out here and going to meetings for quite some time and suddenly I've seen the light. I woke up this morning to a barrage of abuse from my A who was using words like 'scumbag' 'utter b***d' 'piece of filth' and of course turning everything around to blame me. I hav...	alanonfan	18	789	Aug 31, 2016 by Iamhere
	AL-ANON MEETING 9:00 A.M. EST - WEDNESDAY (Preview) Al-Anon meeting in the chat room begins in approximately 20 minutes. Come on in and join us!	shimo	1	423	Aug 31, 2016 by hotrod
	Other Ism's (Preview) Reading Serenity's recent post about what she doesn't miss - I can echo that sentiment, I do NOT miss the craziness of being part of an alcohol-fueled relationship. But it gets me thinkin, something I'm accused of over-doing (but brain doesn't have an off switch right Serenity?); anyway, thinking a...	likemyheart	4	884	Aug 31, 2016 by hotrod
	Arghhhhhh (Preview) So had a nice day, been working and loving my program. Pleasant light hearted banter between AH and myself. We were cleaning the kitchen together. I jokingly pointed out the ring of crumbs on the floor when AH stands to have his midnight feast each night. In an instant, he turned nasty. This is what I do...	Calm Lady	12	632	Aug 31, 2016 by Calm Lady
	Can you be with someone that alcoholic and you still drink socially. Advice please. (Preview) HI there I'm new and need help I have been with my boyfriend for a year now and when I meet him I thought he was the greats guy and still is when he don't drink. Latter I found out he has a past with DUIs and has a record. I looked past the cuse we all have a past. I fell in love with him and still im. The thing is that w...	Rebrose8	6	670	Aug 31, 2016 by el-cee
	Divorce? (Preview) My husband is a crack addict. He has hurt me physically and emotionally. He is mean anne has no control over hours anger. Married for 4 hellush years I feel under stupid. My mom and dad where drug/alcohol addicts. Help	Doyouseeme	7	706	Aug 31, 2016 by milkwood
	New here (Preview) Hi, I just found this board today. After reading a few of the posts, I think this is where I need to be. I have two qualifiers, my father (who doesn't drink much anymore, but still retains the personality) & my husband (a binge drinker). I can't control anything anymore, and I need to learn how to set b...	Searchingforpeace	6	574	Aug 30, 2016 by Searchingforpeace
	Courage to Change 29/8 (Preview) Today's c2c talks about guilt and shame, and the tendency we have to relive all of our poor behaviours over and over and allow them to weigh us down. In step 8, when we list persons we have harmed and become willing to make amends, these terrible burdens can become more managable and the thought of settin...	missmeliss	3	962	Aug 30, 2016 by LedfootJenny
	Newbie venting (Preview) Hello everyone. I am new here and this is my first time reaching out. My husband is an alcoholic-a very high functioning one. His family and coworkers would never in a million years guess he has a problem. My family loves him and thinks he is the 'nicest guy' as well. He has maybe one friend and he doe...	Samantha4073	11	752	Aug 30, 2016 by Maresie
	Working on Decision Making (Preview) This is definitely one of my character defects. For me, putting things off is usually tied into some sort of fear - fear of financial insecurity, fear of change, failure, embarrassment etc. These things can be subtle at times because I don't live with a lot of drama and chaos anymore. Inaction doesn't...	tiredtonite	5	824	Aug 30, 2016 by LedfootJenny
	Trying to forgive (Preview) I haven't been on here in a long time. My AH went from bad to worse, hit rock bottom and got sober. Yay! Right? He hasn't gone to any AA meetings or counseling but has been going to church with me twice a week. We have been very happy. It's like I got my best friend back! When he hit rock bottom he opened up about...	Dlove	12	884	Aug 30, 2016 by Crau
	How do I know when it's time to leave? (Preview) I realize this has probably been addressed here before. And that the response is that it's different for everyone. But I am struggling to know, when do I give up, when do I say, that's it, good luck, but I'm out, and when do I say no, I'm not going to leave, because everything about u that I hate is because yo...	Desperateinnyc	16	837	Aug 30, 2016 by Crau
	My consequences (Preview) I have stopped all enabling with my AS couple weeks ago knowing that he, as far as I know, is still without means, brings me to tears. I have to keep my head in recovery every day to remind myself why I'm doing this. The last couple of conversations via messenger we've had have been frank ones. He admitted...	seahorselady	6	584	Aug 30, 2016 by seahorselady
	Engaged to a 10 year sober alcoholic (Preview) When I first meet, my now fiancé, I had little knowledge or understanding of alcoholism. I was oblivious to the fact that my father suffered from alcoholism and drug addicted which lead to his recent death. Since it is a huge part of his life/my life I started reading researching about it. I have been to...	Wilady8	3	592	Aug 30, 2016 by Mattie
	Just when you think it's easy sailing.... (Preview) Sometimes life likes to remind you to stay alert and be on the lookout for icebergs/roadblocks/wrecking balls/etc. I missed my weekly meeting tonight for a fantasy football draft--it's my favorite time of year so definitely made it a priority today. That being said, a meeting a would have been ni...	Crau	4	599	Aug 30, 2016 by Jazzie18
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.