The material presented
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information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Ive been feeling very angry lately and building skyscraper-style resentments.Its making me feel horrible and fatigued to the point where Im wondering how Im going to make it to the end of the week.
Ive been beating myself up asking how can I forgive when the insanity (my A's and mine) is escalating, and, what is my part?Im struggling despite that I have found forgiveness in the past.I know I need to do something to move off of this path and onto a safer, more productive road. I understand that I will not feel this suffering if I can sucessfully detach.
Today, I read:
Feelings are like plants; dont water them and they wither away to dust.
This is new perspective for me in the sense that forgiveness is something that lives on my side of the street.Going with this thought, the less energy and attention I give to the offenses, the more quickly my opportunity to detach. (Not so easy to break well-practiced patterns of dwelling, worrying, and obsessing... I keep turning them over and over to my HP).
Id be interested in your thoughts. Thanks for listening.
IIt sounds like you are headed in the right direction. I used to obsessed and delete go of things 100 times a day now just a couple times does it usually. Its about progress not perfection. Keep trusting your HP can handle things. Sending you love and support!
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Sending you love and support on your journey always! BreakingFree
Al-Anon/Alateen Family Group Headquarters, Inc. 800-344-2666
" Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional."
"Serenity is when your body and mind are in the same place."
Your share reminded me of something my sponsor says every now and then. It's humorous, but it's so true most of the time. "I find most of my problems die of neglect."
Maybe you don't need to run yourself through the gauntlet trying to force forgiveness when you're not ready for it. It sounds like focusing on your current inability to forgive at the moment is only bringing you unnecessary stress. I know I've been through that. First I'm all mad at that one person, and then I get ticked off at myself for not being "better" or "more kind" - like I'm supposed to be this super being that brushes off every slight with no effort at all. I hold myself to ridiculously high standards at times.
I had to take baby steps sometimes with some things. I may not be capable of forgiving someone, for example. However, I can, perhaps, try to treat that person with less hostility and more respect. For some relationships, this can be pretty dang gradual!
Forgiveness is a big mouthful - I know it is for me, at least. Really can depend on how identified I am with the pain that brought about the resentment.
Go easy on yourself. Remember - one day at a time.
Aloha Bud...Loved the post...it brings back memories; some of which were lessons that forgiveness and detachment are two different practices. I can forgive and not detach and I can detach and not forgive. Forgiveness for me is the opposite of resentment...I cannot work both of those together cause forgiveness will trump resentments every time YAY!! Detachment is the opposite of control and manipulation and maybe a couple of other things and means I take the velcro off so that things I am powerless over don't cling to me. Of course you can work both at the same time and find greater sanity. "Feelings are inward reactions to outside events" ...given to me by my AA counselor when I finally convinced him I had no idea what they were and was mixing up being angry or rageful for "feeling like sh-t". Thank God for smarter people who are willing to help me. In support (((((hugs)))))
This is a lot about being a work in progress for me... something I am always going to be on this journey of recovery. I don't have to work recovery perfectly just continue to be perfectly human and continue to ask my higher power to lead me and trust I'll continue to be taken care of. I look first for acceptance of myself and others on my side of the street just as we are today, ask daily for my hp's guidance through my day and decision making. When I lose sight of my relationship with my hp and give power to others actions and thought of me, when I forget to love myself unconditionally as my hp does, well... there goes my serenity. When working the 8th step we're told to put ourselves at the top of the list for forgiveness. There have been times in my life when that has had to be a daily ritual. Other people will always disappoint us. Alcoholism given the chance, will be a punishing enemy. It's all smoke and mirrors (((bud))). You know that. You know you can just keep doing the footwork on your side of the street as you always have. Trust. Good to see you again, been thinking of you and hoping you're doing well. Keep coming back. T
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Surround yourself with people and elements that support your destiny, not just your history.
