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monster in wife returns
(Preview)
Hi all.....
this is my first post on this forum. i have been mistakenly, but acceptingly posting on the aa forum and being a newbie, didn't know about all the various sub forums connected to alcohol problems. so, here's mine if someone wants to listen.
i had this same pr...
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gudheartedguy
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6
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566
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Starting a pre-cancerous skin treatment
(Preview)
Hi all,
My dermatologist said that I have pre-cancerous cells on my face. She has prescribed a 3-4 week long treatment that will turn my face red, itch, bleed, be painful, and scab over. I will look pretty ugly. I will share this with my students so I won't shock them but also to let them know that...
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nmike
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2
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284
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Back from my sister's funeral
(Preview)
Quote | ReplyBack from my sister's funeral
Hello everyone! I'm back from the UK where I went to be with all the family gathered for my sister's funeral. It was an amazing week--I saw more family together than I've seen in several years. Lots of laughter and reminiscences as well as...
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seachange
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6
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360
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death of an A
(Preview)
Hello all:
I just wanted to share a story of an experience I had this past week that shook me to the core. I work for an agency that houses persons who suffer from either mental illness or chemical abuse or both. I deal with over 96 households who are suffering in some capacity.&n...
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Kim
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6
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447
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Our dilemma....
(Preview)
We gave our 19 year old son until Wednesday this past week to find a place to live. I had packed up all of his things last weekend. He has been uable to follow our house rules, which are that he remain clean and sober,stay in recovery and home by curfew, unless prior arrangements have b...
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mel123
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8
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350
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forgiveness
(Preview)
Aside from learning to apply self-love, as a sick ACOA & codie which took me over 37 yrs to be ready & willing to understand & apply to me, truly everything happens in God’s time & there are no coincidences.
I have found nothing in this Program of spirituality has been more p...
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kitty
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2
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292
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With family like this who needs enemies??
(Preview)
As I mentally planned to leave my A husband in Oct. I didn't talk about it with anyone but two very trusted friends and Ala-non friends. I told family when the time came very close for me to make my move. My siblings were all behind me and helped me move. On the other hand my cousin who lives on the east co...
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whitie
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7
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370
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Am I too Anal?
(Preview)
Hi,
My husband and I had a talk tonight and as usual he threw all blame to me.
He is back at his Mothers. I have tried being compassionate, I have tried to giv ehim leeway and be understanding. I have tried to not get angry when he is always over doing things at her house. I understand that she needs the he...
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Jeannie
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12
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542
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I miss what I thought I had
(Preview)
I am missing my mother very much but I cannot force her to want to share herself with me or know me. She raised me single handedly & was my best friend for many years, as long as I did as she wanted. I have worked hard to break this co-die relationship w/ her since Spetmember.
After her ye...
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kitty
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3
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347
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What do you think? NEED HELP!
(Preview)
I guess I am not really sure where to start out. I just need some advice. I am 24 years old and have a 6 month old daughter. My daughters father and I have been together for 3 years on and off because of his drinking. His drinking has gotten better from drinking every night now down to usually 2 nights a week.
...
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roxannejharris
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9
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372
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dyfs update - THANK YOU ALL !
(Preview)
Well, yesterday my A went out w/ my 15yo to look for a new dog. As a sidebar, we already have two, money is tight, they aren't licensed they don't always get heartworm meds, etc. Makes no sense to add another one. This gave me a chance to tell my 9yo that someone was coming to the house an...
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bobump
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11
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565
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update for today
(Preview)
Well today was interesting. Friday, my son told the his school counselor that he was afraid of his mom. That triggered her to call dyfs to let them know. I met w/ her and my son. I don't think he is afraid of physical harm but only anger, but then again he came home to see that my A had brok...
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bobump
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7
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428
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I can't deal with his blaming me
(Preview)
I got a "Delivery Confirmation" letter in the mail today to my oldest son (15) Inside was a letter to him and the other letter was to my other 3 kids. He basically wrote in both of them how sorry he was for what he's done, but he has a terrible disease which makes him do bad things and that it's no...
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sdisnie
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8
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522
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Brother being released from Bridgewater prison this Tues
(Preview)
not sure what the outcome will be. He'll be brought to the courthouse on Mon night - he's already asked my mother to release him on bail. He's suppose to appear in front of the judge Tues morn. From there he'll either be let go (back to my mother's house), sent to a hospital for rehab/psychiatric care or se...
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Barbara
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2
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319
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My "A" is coming home from jail next week
(Preview)
Hello everyone,
I have been pretty busy lately in another group, one for prison moms thru Yahoo. Next week my son, my A, is coming home to me. He has been gone a yr now. Actually for the last three yrs he has been in jail more than out. The times he has been home have been p...
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mamasan
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4
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372
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registered nick/mirc troubles
(Preview)
Hello all, I am having issues with my mirc -lol it’s not agreeing w/ me… My registered nick won’t stick, however other nicks do when I need to re-connect. I was wondering if the cause is my version of mirc is 5.81 ??? I was told there is a newer one that many are using (6.16). Also wondering if because...
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tea2
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0
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251
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affirmations
(Preview)
The Affirmations:
As I Change My Mind, I Change My Life
All things work together for good for me today.
I am supremely happy right here, right now, within my self, right where I am today.
I am a happy, healthy, wholesome, beautiful, positive, prosperous person.
&nbs...
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iona54
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3
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391
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Hubby is home...
(Preview)
Just thought I'd bring everyone up to date.
Hubby came home yesterday afternoon and so far so good. He is still very weak and on about a gazillion meds. No kidding!! I went and picked up 14 prscriptions last night and another today. We had to go get a couple of those week long pill boxes to keep them all st...
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Christy
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11
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386
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how do you handle your own biyearly drinking once your realize your spouse is an Alcoholic?
(Preview)
do you feel like a hypocrit? Granted we can control our drinking, alot less frequent, doesnt interfere with life, etc. But do you find yourself not being able to enjoy an alcoholic drink once you realize your spouse is an alcoholic?
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Barbara
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11
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594
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Confused and Hurting
(Preview)
My A husband of 5 years left Monday night screaming at me. Sent an email that he wants a divorce. Have not heard from him since. I am unable to go to work, and am stressed about my job being there when I get back. Hub was court ordered into counseling which ins. will not pay for, and he can't afford the house pm...
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Becky1
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7
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387
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Little hints of cut downs last night
(Preview)
My alcoholic husband was actually doing okay for a couple of weeks. He was drinking, but he was not drunk or rude to me. Of course I could see the small changes last night and the cycle starting all over again. He must have been sitting in a bar for awhile yesterday while I was working. He's still laid off an...
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Lindy
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5
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450
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feeling crappy can be GOOD!!!!
(Preview)
Hope for Today - February 22
I found a carrot and two lumps of coal on my sidewalk and wondered what they were doing there. I thought it odd. Suddenly remembering that a snowman once stood on that place, I chuckled at my own suspicious thoughts. Even so, I had an eerie feeling of something st...
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rosie light shines
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6
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257
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new, is this the place for me? Please read.
(Preview)
Hi everyone. I am just wondering if this is the right place for me. I will try to be brief. I am not with an alcoholic or addict, but with a mentally ill/personality disordered person, who used to use cocaine and alcohol but has not in many years. I am codependent and grew up with an abusive alcoholi...
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codependentme
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12
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433
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prayer update
(Preview)
Just wanted to thank everyone for their prayers and to let you know that there is definitely a higher power. My friend is still with us for the time being and now has her husband by her side in the city. I spoke to him today and told him how much is wife loved him and that I knew he loved her just as...
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leo
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7
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332
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Surrender
(Preview)
All I can do, is focus on me, control me & change me. Sad for this to be so difficult & guilt laden for us but it still takes me some work & hard focus some days, to just allow myself to consider my wants, needs & desires. It gets easier with practise, just like forgiveness.
...
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kitty
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4
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414
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good news and a lesson from HP
(Preview)
Hello all:
Yesterday my A had an appoinment with the gastoenterologist to get the results of his Hep C blood work. While he was in treatment he was given an antibody test that came back positive. Upon the confirmatory it was found to be NEGATIVE. Whic hwas great news. He wi...
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Kim
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1
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312
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Prison
(Preview)
Someone in chat the other day said that they knew of a good group for Moms/families of prisoners.
Does anyone remember who that was, or does anyone have any websites or groups they could recommend?
Today is proving to be challenging.
Thanks,
Doxie
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doxie
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4
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438
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Welcome newcomers
(Preview)
I just wanted to say it is so nice to see so many new names here on the board and in chat. If you have questions here or there personal or technical don't be afraid to ask ask. You can ask them privately by clicking on any of our names and you will have the option to speak one on one. once aga...
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jrtjosey
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0
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243
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hard to get into that morning routine when A husband is laying in bed hungover
(Preview)
Ok I really dont mind my son being home for school vacation. Dont need to get out the door 2.5hrs earlier than I leave for work to get him to the bus. However when I come downstairs and A husband is hungover in bed (we sleep separately) it really grinds on me! He calls in sick alot on Fridays. I cant get in ther...
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Barbara
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6
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528
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what would you do?
(Preview)
A couple of days ago I posted about my A relapsing. We have 2 small children (1&3) and I know one time for sure he came with beer after picking our son up from preschool. Two of the bottles were empty but he swore he poured them out on the way home because he felt bad for even buying it...
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marcie301
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6
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432
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chat room prayer
(Preview)
I heard that those in chat at somepoint yesterday said a group prayer for me and my family.
All I can say is I heard about this while the caseworker was still at my house and couldn't even think about it anymore because I didn't want to be crying as soon as I talked to the caseworker.
Thank you all so much...
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bobump
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4
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2114
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Busy week
(Preview)
My house is finally finished. The landscapers finished today and the painters finished yesterday. My cabinets have been installed, the front door and interior doors have been replaced. I am too exhausted to enjoy it. My mother-in-law has kep the baby for two weeks while...
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Powerless
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4
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277
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Not sure what to do - Advice?
(Preview)
The weekend is coming up, which means I will be going to my boyfriends'. He had recently quit drinking at the insistance of his father, whom he lives with. His father goes away sometimes on weekends and I stay at my bf's. Now that his father is away, I know he will want to get a bottle of...
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paintthinnr
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9
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409
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Nervous Breakdown - Self Care
(Preview)
This past week things have been coming to a head here. I discovered the 17 year old stepdaughter is smoking and had a bottle of vodka (big size) hidden in her drawer - her 21 year old sister has been buying the cigarettes for her, my 23 year old son bought one pack for her. The 17 year old is visi...
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kismetstrand
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13
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696
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I guess I just need some opinions.....
(Preview)
Last April my husband let me in on his secret problem with oxycontin and cocaine abuse. I knew something was up since so much money was missing. Although I didn't notice the symptoms of abuse since he always uses while drinking. I always thought he was drunk. Well it has been...
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starangel
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8
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593
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The Year of Me
(Preview)
I've known my a for 7 years. Right before the New Year, I told him all the time I've known you, the focus has been on you. It's going to be 7 years of the Year of Jill starting Jan 20056. He agreed (easy cuz nothing changes if...).
Nearly the end of February, and it hit me, the focus is still on him. I have rece...
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Jill
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6
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367
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I took the risk
(Preview)
Well, after a 6 month separation, and a lot of soul searching and taking care of me I decided to take the risk and see how it goes, and told hubby on Friday that he could come home.
As soon as I said it I thought oh god what have I set myself up for - I can see changes in him and as far as I am aware he has only had 1 sl...
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Picowitch
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7
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353
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is this weird?
(Preview)
today is a bad day for me. no reason in paticular, but i just am worrying about my dad.
i love him sooooo much!! i know that he loves me, too. but his drinking hurts me so much that i have detached myself from him. i refuse to support him and hold his hand while his life goes to sh*t.
i wish i could jus...
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flintfeet
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3
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405
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found book I was reading
(Preview)
Well I got a couple of the Getting Them Sober books--the first and fourth ones. I have been reading on them for the past few days. I ordered them a couple of weeks ago. Anyway--after a few more yucky days, he has decided again that he is through with the drugs--the last time "was enoug...
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hudsond
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3
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401
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Suddenly Life is again a seed
(Preview)
Suddenly Life is again a seed
I am slipping further and further away from you
For I do not know what else to do
I am always feeling persistently blue
Surrounded by darkness yearning for the light
There is a tunnel ahead
It calls my name
It is time for me to go
It is not you to blame
...
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Lauren ashley
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4
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348
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Jesus Take the Wheel
(Preview)
This is a song by Carrie Underwood, and the lyrics fit so well what we alanon members need to do.....so here it is..I've been thinking about this song lately due to my current situation..I am powerless....
She was driving last Friday on her way to Cincinnati
On a snow white Christmas Eve
Going ho...
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Becky1
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5
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416
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suicide worries and AA
(Preview)
My sister in law advised me that my brother has threatened suicide three times this month, including today. She is scared and wants me to talk to him. I spoke with him regarding her concern. He told me that she violated confidentiality and that I should not worry. He told me t...
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figaro
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8
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600
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prayers please
(Preview)
Hi everyone,
My very good friend is at the moment going through the final stages of her life as it is on this earth with cancer. She is in a lot of pain and now 1300kms away in the city away from family and friends. This lady lives with her husband (a drinker) who is not able to be by her side bec...
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leo
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7
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544
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Slogans?
(Preview)
I have heard much talk about slogans, but where do you find them/learn them? Anyone have any favorites?
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paintthinnr
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4
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398
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addicted to my A?
(Preview)
Well I noticed the funniest thing.
When he calls me or texts me, I feel like a kind of justification and like I am really 'doing' something here for myself.
When he doesn't I feel lonely and like 'what's the point?'
Why the heck does what I am doing here in my own house have to hinge upon what he...
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sweetums
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3
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373
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Detaching and Getting a Life
(Preview)
My husband is a recovering addict/alcoholic. He also struggles with chronic pain, and sometimes overuses his pain meds (in my opinion.) I try to "detach" from his slogged demeanor on those occassions, but it really bothers me to see him that way. It reminds me of when I was young and my dad was drunk. I f...
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terascot
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5
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409
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Dolphin123
(Preview)
Has anybody heard from Dolphin?
Hugs Mary
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marmare
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0
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270
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Alcoholism, a merry-go-round named denial...
(Preview)
This is a pamphalet handed to me today at my first f2f meeting ever. I nearly burst into tears as I read this booklet written 4 years after I was born about what is happening in my life today.
To all of you who kept saying get ye to a meeting.... THANK YOU!
It was a steps meeting, but all I cou...
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rtexas
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3
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2824
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A small setback..
(Preview)
A was "supposed" to come home today...
I just called him and asked what time I should pick him up. He said Dr. wants him one more day. BP is back up and ammonia level in blood is rising again. Poor guy.
The good thing is I can meet with my Sponsor, I always do on Thursdays and was not able to last week.
...
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Christy
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10
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406
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Maybe he's full of S___!
(Preview)
Well, since what he said yesterday (what I wrote in my last post), I haven't heard from him again regarding it. But he did call my friend today and to her he sounded a bit annoyed. He wanted to know what I wanted to do, and she said that I didn't know, I was very confused. Then he said I was...
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sdisnie
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5
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313
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Now the hard part begins.
(Preview)
I have been reading and benefitting from everyone's post's since I found this site a few weeks ago but this is the first time I've posted.
I attended f2f meetings a few years ago as I have several A's in my life. The one I have the biggest frustration with is my husband. He has been doing AA a...
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marcie301
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4
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335
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clean up my HEAD---clean up my SPACE
(Preview)
Clearing Your Space For Change In life,
we tend to have an easier time acquiring possessions than we do getting rid of them. Just as we harbor emotional baggage that is difficult to let go of, our lives can tend to be filled with material objects that we may feel compelled to hold on to. Most...
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rosie light shines
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2
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251
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prayers pls, I must be making progress,
(Preview)
I must be making some progress. Cause I'm going to ask something that I normally would not reach out for.
Tomorrow around 5pm eastern is the scheduled visit for dyfs (child services).
If I could impose on anyone that would feel inclined to pray that I am doing god's work, that how I'm h...
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bobump
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9
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379
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Resentment & Retaliation
(Preview)
(((((Roomies)))))),
I could really use some ES&H on this issue. I find that I really struggle both with resentments and the desire to retaliate if I feel injured by someone close to me. If I feel hurt, I tend to want to hurt back. The retaliations are "minor"--silent treatment, sulking, retrea...
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BlueCloud
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7
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428
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What CAN I control???
(Preview)
So I"m not allowed to control my alcoholics. I'm not allowed to control the people around me. I can control my feelings and my actions.
So I want to redecorate my house. However I live with 2 roommates. And for the alst 6 months I've been putting things off in order to make them happy. In the meantime we h...
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Emafer
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5
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330
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Detaching
(Preview)
Well I have spent the last two days in bed a lot because my house is freezing. The A has not arranged with the landlord the heating stuff he was supposed to. I really went all out before Christmas to get the landlord to agree to a new heater. The A is supposed to provide him a few simple measurements ca...
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maresie
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2
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282
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The bridge
(Preview)
Here is an interesting recovery parable
I heard a story about a woman walking across a high bridge, on her journey. She saw someone coming to her but could not make anything out or who it was. As this person got closer she saw that he had something tied around his waist but again could not make out what...
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megan
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6
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341
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Heroes
(Preview)
amazingly, an Ozzy song....
Been around this world so many times
If you could only see my mind
I watch my secret heaven turn to hell
Faith alone has guided me
The ghost of my own destiny
I haven’t even got a soul to sell
All the thing I put me through
I wouldn’t wish my hell on you
Yo...
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sweetums
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1
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331
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They told him my decision
(Preview)
Another sleepless night,doing the usual round of "what if's?" and brought myself up short by telling myself that I can spend days or weeks or months analysing where it's all gone wrong.....but the end result is I am where I am....I KNOW how I got here and no amount of "wishing things could have gone diff...
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chris52
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9
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553
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March 25 - Courage to Change
(Preview)
someone at last nights F2F read this page -
I came to AlAnon confused about what was and was not my responsibility. Today after lots of Step work, I believe I am responsible for the following: to be loyal to my values, to please myself first, to keep an open mind, to detach with love, to rid myself of ange...
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Barbara
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1
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2616
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