Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

afmom03 · afmom03

Hi my firends!! Oh boy! This one is really going to get some people fired up! <LOL> That didn't sound good...but it's the best way I could think to write it right now. My A' fell asleep AGAIN last night with a cigarette in bed!! I have been on the couch since Thanksgiving. Well...my A's got a f...

hudsond · hudsond

I have been feeling very "off kilter" lately! Depressed, but not sure why!! There are so many things in my life that haven't gone as I thought they would--life never does, does it?? Things right now are pretty good, but I seem to be having a hard time with that!!! My AH has been sobe...

alora_red · alora_red

I have yet to make it to a f2f meeting. I was hoping to go to one this morning but I have other obligations I can't get out of, so I will have to wait until next week. I have been reading alot of the posts here on the board, and I have to admit I find some the alanon suggestions difficult.....such as detaching...

barisax · barisax

I thought I'd make this a separate post... I alluded to playing many positions with regard to alcoholism. It's time I qualify myself a bit here. Alcoholics in my life: 1. Father (deceased) 2. Uncle (sober) 3. Mother in law (deceased) 4. Sister in law (status unknown) 5. Another sister in law (on disabi...

afmom03 · afmom03

Well...good-early morning friends!!! It is after 2am, I'm on the computer instead of sleeping and I'm suppose to wake at 5am. Not so this morning. I have to type very quietly because my A' is in the bedroom awake, and I'm just down the hall from him in our computer room. I am going to do something later thi...

sisdragonfly1957 · sisdragonfly1957

I have decided to quit my part time job. I work as a bartender two nights a week. Use to work there full time for about five years. Been back about a year now. But I hate it. Have learned so much about ism that it turns my stomach to look at these people in the bar. Same ole people, same ole problems, same ole dru...

debilyn · debilyn

I don't use the word "should." To me it is trying to control someone, which never works. If I want to say something, I might say, "I would invite you to maybe try..." My experience is.... Have you tried...... I respect you Carol, however I feel MIP has taught me more about alanon that anything el...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

My A called today after a week of no communication so I told him the house was closing today. He wanted to know if he could come stay for a couple of days for his son's birthday. I said I didn't want him staying. In reality I don't want him to come at all. I really would prefer not to...

HadEnuff · HadEnuff

This is a huge issue for me and I'm wondering how others deal with it. I've told him many times that I'm not interested in sex when he's drinking and so therefore, it's not a common occurance, because the only time he seems to really want it is during his drinking hours. He totally doesn't ge...

JillyJo · JillyJo

I'm married to an A for many years and he is now sober for about 9 years. I went to Al Anon meetings for years before he sobered up and continue to go now and then but not as much as I used to. Although he has been sober for many years, he basically acts out the same way he did before he sobere...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

I have been thinking, I believe that what I have thought to be love is actually obsession. Now that my obsession is away from me and on the streets I feel a little sorry for him but..... Now I think how can I "LOVE" him and yet not feel so bad that he's in this position? I am starting to wonder n...

twinkie · twinkie

I have been thinking very rigidly lately - black and white - stay or go? I'm learning and trying to figure out what my needs are and what is acceptable behavior (boundaries) and be true to myself. I've been reading alot of co-dependency - I fit every category - I am in Al...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

Every time I talk to him I feel angry and mean. Why do I feel like just saying what he doesn't want to hear is being mean? I said a lot of things that are true, that are hurtful that i know he doesn't want to hear. It doesn't make me feel better to say them, it makes me feel bad but he is delusi...

maresie2 · maresie2

I am pretty focused on the beginning of the year right now because as you all know I am not much looking forward to Christmas. I am also trying to start each day over with a new determination and new actions. Today I have another interview. I will have three interviews thi...

Diva · Diva

Every day someone says, "We don't give advice here." Hmmmm... what about the AlAnon approved advice. Every day someone says, 1. Find an f2f meeting. 2. Take care of you. 3. Let him/her hit bottom. 4. Do not enable him/her. If this isn't advice, I don't know what is. Call it by some othe...

ernie · ernie

I am wondering if there is anyone on here that has had to deal with thier A finding soberity thru AA and who had an affair with another AAer?. I am struggling so much with the conflict between what working a 12 step program means (ie letting him work his program and have secrets) vs recovering and tr...

jaja · jaja

I've

nmike · nmike

Why do they call to tell you that they are going golfing in Las Vegas with the boys? Why don't they introduce you to the boys? Are they embarassed or don't they want the boys to know that they are married? Why do they call and tell you that they are going to an annual event with a friend but this is an event that...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

I have really been thinking hard lately about why it is that I keep picking A's and I have noticed a few things. Generally A's are intelligent, which is a draw for me. Also there is that edge of danger and excitement. They are fun in the beginning and usually great in bed. They are good at giving the appeara...

maresie2 · maresie2

Well I have 19 days to Christmas and I am feeling the familiar dread. For 6 plus years now I've let the A dominate Christmas. We once, (in the days I had money) went to a beautiful resort town (paid for by me of course) and he had to high tail it back to get loaded. Admittedly at that time I wa...

Jennifer · Jennifer

Good Morning ((Everyone)) It's a sad morning for me and my family. A few weeks ago my brother told me I was going to be an aunt, both him and his girlfriend were so excited. Not to mention the rest of us in the family, after health issues with my Dad and stepDad, and the chaos of my experiences trying to sep...

Andrea12 · Andrea12

Hello ((((((((Friends))))))))))), Life has brought me much pain and many pleasures...these things I am grateful for...however, hub is trying to find some sympathy and compassion....the truth of the matter is I have nothing left to give him...... Me and the kids have suffered so very muc...

drucilla06 · drucilla06

Hi (((((alanon friends))))) How many times have I heard in an open AA meeting those words from the promises....we will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it....something like that,I may not have it exactly. I understand why an A may want to shut the door on their past.The trail of devas...

Rita G · Rita G

Everybody sing - It's Brick . . . House!! (you know you can sing it - you are probably doing a few little dance moves in your chair at your computer - not to mention that song will be in your head the rest of the day!!

) Ok - Well it's not really a "brick" house, it's a double wide man...

acjmom · acjmom

Well, I went to my first f2f last night, and am thinking I dont want to go back...I went there thinking I would find..I dont know what...something...but alls I found was a bunch of bitter old birds hell bent on bashing their A's...ALL A's as a matter of fact... I wanted to scream "I KNOW what kind of...

BnA2006 · BnA2006

I'd love to read anything pertaining to my situation, and how I may better cope. What books do any of you recommend, what was one of your favorites,etc... Thank you for any suggestions. *Bna

TXSusan · TXSusan

After 3 years in AlAnon, you'd think by now the amazement would wear off of how meetings seem to be "just what I need to hear", and now after spending the morning on the message board, "just what I needed to read." My AH crossed what I thought was the final line last week. In an alcoholic rag...

BnA2006 · BnA2006

I do not in anyway mean to ask that with any sarcasm!!! I just wanted to say that first:) I've only just recently discovered this wonderful board, so naturally I don't know everyone's story. As far as I can see though, I've read none that have happy endings with their A. Please please feel free to c...

albertarose · albertarose

I am having difficulties with my distorted thinking. It's getting in the way and I find myself consumed with negative thoughts about my Sober "A". I want it to stop but I don't know how to stop it. When I feel this mood coming on I read my litature, talk to an alanon member, my counselor. I meditate, say my s...

bear · bear

I'm new to this board but have spent the whole day and night reading everything that I can possibly find on the subject of a being a partner of a AH. I'm going to my first al-anon meeting on thursday night as I realise that enough is enough and I really must get support for myself before I end up having a bre...

omajoy · omajoy

My husband said to me today: IS there ever a day when he (our son) doesn't have some trauma or drama going on?.....my response was, of course, NO. He leans toward chaos in his life; whether the situation is trivial or huge, all the same. It tires us out so much. I have been thinking the last hour or so...

Diva · Diva

I do not fit that mold, and so it causes me to wonder why the vast majority of people here take life's little bumps to the extreme. Each of us has a BIG bump to deal with, but that should not close our eyes to the fact that we should choose our battles carefully, and think of the consequences before we jump hea...

Christy · Christy

OK, so we didn't quite skirt the storm unscathed. Son got in an accident this afternoon. He's fine but his little red car isn't, but it's drivable, just pretty caved in..lol. It's still pretty treacherous out there. Let's see, in one week..son chopped finger with axe, worst ice storm in 30 yrs. son w...

purplebutterfly · purplebutterfly

My A makes me feel guilty so much. Guilts me into not calling my own mom cause mom hurt me growing up. the harrassess me after i call. liike saying i said things i shouldnt have. which isnt true then turns around and checks to see when i called hher on the phone bill that i pay. . Im tired o...

ally · ally

((((((((((((((ROOMIES))))))))))))) I recently suffered a bout of depression, I was off my work for nine weeks. I was given anti-depressants from my doctor. I took them for a few weeks. But I deceided, the last time I had them I was on them for three years. So, I could fight back without them. I grad...

mama_nz · mama_nz

Last night I watched a documentary about the Heavy Metal Band Metallica - it documented the band trying to stay together and put out a new album while their frontman went into rehab for alcohol and 'other unamed' addictions, mainly alcohol. I was actually really touched seeing the transforma...

chris52 · chris52

Seriously..............I wonder about this????? Why is it I have changed my mobile(cell)phone number..............changed my email address..............got a house phone showing caller ID( Usefull,except where caller ID is withheld,or is international call)........why Is it that when...

kerry5 · kerry5

Agenda for Wednesday December 6th 2006 Group Business Meeting at 7pm est New comers MEeting update Schedule New Business Time change Sunday Meeting For group Business meeting New Mirc Chair/ Op Friendly Step Tradition Meeting Rotation Disucussion of New chairpersons to b...

Andrea12 · Andrea12

Hello ((((((((((friends))))))))), Just sitting here thinking about things, and wondering how hard can an Addict hit his Bottom.....hub really took a turn for the worse....he stole his dads credit cards and went on a 3 day binge.....now he is homeless....no vehicle....no money....no resou...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

I was at my f2f last night and at the closing we all hold hands and do the lords prayer so the math guy who has been tutoring me is on my right. about 1/4 thru the prayer he is stroking the inide of my palm and I FREAK OUT!! Internally of course. He is old enough to be my father and it felt to me...

Andrea12 · Andrea12

Hello Friends, I have come much farther in my recovery than I even imagined.....I had a huge reality check yesterday....and I took the right path for me.... Well hub hit and he hit hard.....thought he could walk right back in this house because he had no where else to go....he was strung out, n...

Messy · Messy

Hey There - Well it seems that my 'A' has made his choice... alcohol... he has not been home for 3 days. Though, I must admit it has been a lot quieter in the house these days. Though it still hurts... I am trying to only deal with my side of the street and continue to live my life as nothing is w...

gardengal · gardengal

It is the time of year, where most people are under stress and obligation to get things done before the holidays, but toss your emotions while dealing with active alcoholism, and all of it can become totally overwhelming for us. Each of us who come to this site have been devastaed by someone else...

kissers · kissers

Sometimes I hear this and I feel very angry. My father was a violent alcoholic. He had a very sadistic side to him. He would think it was funny when he would grab my legs and hold me under water then let me come up gasping and crying. What was my part in this? Not a damn thing. He was cruel and still is. I know he i...

Gailey · Gailey

I have posted before about my younger son (age 30) having a drinking problem. I don't want to label him as an A but I would say it is a problem. He is one that will drink on a Friday night and want to continue on when he wakes up on Saturday. By Sunday and probably thru at least Tuesday he feels like crap and...

Summer · Summer

My mother has been an alcholic... forever.. yet it only started 3 years ago when she began again now she is so far down she will clean up for 2 weeks.. then binge... drinking 20 in a night.. passing out.. but not until she become so mean... last night when i was out there she threatened to kill hers...

marty · marty

Hi all i am a alcoholic i been sober almost 17 years on 26 of this month i am riding a women to AA meeting,and i feel all she want is thing i dont know how to stop riding her how do you do it when you dont want to hurt there feeling,well i hope some one here has a ideal how to do this and i got two weeks here...

Tammy · Tammy

I havent posted in awhile I have been reading a lot of posts but for some reason haven't posted. Now, I really need some guidance, support and just to write down my thoughts... I kicked my husband out in September. He was drinking a lot and going out until all hours of the night with his buddies. I...

hersh · hersh

(((My friends))) I had an AHA moment that made me feel better today, and wanted to share with you all. My AH has been sober for a little over 30 days now, and it is better. He is feeling better, going to meetings, and really trying. It is hard to get my hopes up, but I am being wary.&nbs...

Maria123 · Maria123

These are just my feelings and "feelings aren't facts" My Alanon Alter Ego is talking to Maria But I guess today is the day that I feel like I'm in "it" alone. What is it? Well do you ever feel like it's always you making the phone calls to say hello? Do you ever feel like it's only you who remembers s...

laurab · laurab

My A son in Florida keeps calling, crying and begging me to front a ticket home for him. I have stood firm and said when I sell his car, which is advertised, I will get him a ticket, not before. He cries and says i have picked the wrong time to take a stand. He makes me angry, sad, hopeless, una...

rtexas · rtexas

Dear Rita, I am just mortified that it has taken over a year to get your home back together. Are they coming this week to get it going? You are such a good Mom and an inspiration here. My hope is they come through so you can enjoy your Christmas holidays in your new home. My prayers a...

rtexas · rtexas

((((Everyone)))) Hope everyone is doing well. I haven't been able to post much. This is a very busy time of year for me at work so I have been replying a little when I have a chance and reading when I get a spare moment. I seem to be in kind of an emotional "never-never land". Its a pl...

kiwigrl · kiwigrl

I read a few topics on the message board before I decided to join. I went to my first Ala-non metting 2 nights ago. I have reached my bottom, for a year now I have been frustrated by the actions of my alcaholic but now I am ashamed of my own actions. I found myself sinking to his level and playing his games. I do...

jaja · jaja

.....seems like it sometimes. On the one hand, I was relieved when I first began to learn about alcoholism and it's effect on everyone involved. I was forever saying "Okay, I see now!" "Ah Ha! That explains it!" and stuff along those lines. Burdens were lifted. Then I go back into a slump like tod...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

Every weekend my husband would be a DRAG, he wouldn't want to get up when I wanted him to, he wouldn't want to go do anything with the family he was ALWAYS "resting". He was grumpy and mean and nasty to everyone on his time off and I was always resentful that he wouldn't get up and be part of the family....

acjmom · acjmom

Hello All, I havent posted in awhile, but still read on here alot... it still helps to know there are others here living the same kind of life and wishing it was better. LOL Well, hubby is gone again...like thats a big surprise, but what does s...

acjmom · acjmom

Hello All, I have been doing alot of reading on here and alot of thinking and am wondering if an A can just not see what they are giving up..or do they just really not care?Time and time again on here I read that alls a non A wants is for their A to love them as much as they love thei...

Karilynn · Karilynn

((((((((John)))))), Has there been a decision made about sending the holidays cards to the recovery house yet? Or is that part of the next business meeting this month! I'm still game for sending them out if anyone else is. Fingers crossed we'll be able to do it again, it was such fun! Ga...

chris52 · chris52

Hello again (((((((((((((((((wonderful people)))))))))))))))) Am so sorry it's been so long since I last posted. No puter and lousy internet access means I still get to read some posts but not a lot of time left to respond(Connection is very slow) even less to actually post. I did try a few times and t...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Now If I Only Live To Tell About It!! (Preview) Hi my firends!! Oh boy! This one is really going to get some people fired up! <LOL> That didn't sound good...but it's the best way I could think to write it right now. My A' fell asleep AGAIN last night with a cigarette in bed!! I have been on the couch since Thanksgiving. Well...my A's got a f...	afmom03	5	319	Dec 8, 2006 by megan
	Confused about where I am supposed to be--long (Preview) I have been feeling very "off kilter" lately! Depressed, but not sure why!! There are so many things in my life that haven't gone as I thought they would--life never does, does it?? Things right now are pretty good, but I seem to be having a hard time with that!!! My AH has been sobe...	hudsond	7	433	Dec 8, 2006 by Andrea12
	Need to ask some questions... (Preview) I have yet to make it to a f2f meeting. I was hoping to go to one this morning but I have other obligations I can't get out of, so I will have to wait until next week. I have been reading alot of the posts here on the board, and I have to admit I find some the alanon suggestions difficult.....such as detaching...	alora_red	8	527	Dec 8, 2006 by maresie2
	Surrounded! (Preview) I thought I'd make this a separate post... I alluded to playing many positions with regard to alcoholism. It's time I qualify myself a bit here. Alcoholics in my life: 1. Father (deceased) 2. Uncle (sober) 3. Mother in law (deceased) 4. Sister in law (status unknown) 5. Another sister in law (on disabi...	barisax	2	278	Dec 8, 2006 by just me
	To ALL Who've Read my Posts..... (Preview) Well...good-early morning friends!!! It is after 2am, I'm on the computer instead of sleeping and I'm suppose to wake at 5am. Not so this morning. I have to type very quietly because my A' is in the bedroom awake, and I'm just down the hall from him in our computer room. I am going to do something later thi...	afmom03	5	332	Dec 8, 2006 by Rita G
	Quitting my Job!! (Preview) I have decided to quit my part time job. I work as a bartender two nights a week. Use to work there full time for about five years. Been back about a year now. But I hate it. Have learned so much about ism that it turns my stomach to look at these people in the bar. Same ole people, same ole problems, same ole dru...	sisdragonfly1957	1	279	Dec 8, 2006 by maresie2
	serenity and advice (Preview) I don't use the word "should." To me it is trying to control someone, which never works. If I want to say something, I might say, "I would invite you to maybe try..." My experience is.... Have you tried...... I respect you Carol, however I feel MIP has taught me more about alanon that anything el...	debilyn	4	440	Dec 8, 2006 by debilyn
	Would like some ideas on this! (Preview) My A called today after a week of no communication so I told him the house was closing today. He wanted to know if he could come stay for a couple of days for his son's birthday. I said I didn't want him staying. In reality I don't want him to come at all. I really would prefer not to...	carolinagirl	5	400	Dec 7, 2006 by mama_nz
	What about Sex in Detaching? (Preview) This is a huge issue for me and I'm wondering how others deal with it. I've told him many times that I'm not interested in sex when he's drinking and so therefore, it's not a common occurance, because the only time he seems to really want it is during his drinking hours. He totally doesn't ge...	HadEnuff	18	1256	Dec 7, 2006 by abbyal
	alcoholism and personality types (Preview) I'm married to an A for many years and he is now sober for about 9 years. I went to Al Anon meetings for years before he sobered up and continue to go now and then but not as much as I used to. Although he has been sober for many years, he basically acts out the same way he did before he sobere...	JillyJo	15	5208	Dec 7, 2006 by snoopy
	Can someone please explain the difference between love and obsession? (Preview) I have been thinking, I believe that what I have thought to be love is actually obsession. Now that my obsession is away from me and on the streets I feel a little sorry for him but..... Now I think how can I "LOVE" him and yet not feel so bad that he's in this position? I am starting to wonder n...	carolinagirl	10	475	Dec 7, 2006 by twinkie
	Trying to make a healthy decision (Preview) I have been thinking very rigidly lately - black and white - stay or go? I'm learning and trying to figure out what my needs are and what is acceptable behavior (boundaries) and be true to myself. I've been reading alot of co-dependency - I fit every category - I am in Al...	twinkie	4	253	Dec 7, 2006 by hudsond
	He called again (Preview) Every time I talk to him I feel angry and mean. Why do I feel like just saying what he doesn't want to hear is being mean? I said a lot of things that are true, that are hurtful that i know he doesn't want to hear. It doesn't make me feel better to say them, it makes me feel bad but he is delusi...	carolinagirl	4	373	Dec 7, 2006 by twinkie
	Starting Over (Preview) I am pretty focused on the beginning of the year right now because as you all know I am not much looking forward to Christmas. I am also trying to start each day over with a new determination and new actions. Today I have another interview. I will have three interviews thi...	maresie2	2	259	Dec 7, 2006 by Karilynn
	AlAnon approved advice. (Preview) Every day someone says, "We don't give advice here." Hmmmm... what about the AlAnon approved advice. Every day someone says, 1. Find an f2f meeting. 2. Take care of you. 3. Let him/her hit bottom. 4. Do not enable him/her. If this isn't advice, I don't know what is. Call it by some othe...	Diva	14	838	Dec 7, 2006 by Diva
	an affair while in recovery (Preview) I am wondering if there is anyone on here that has had to deal with thier A finding soberity thru AA and who had an affair with another AAer?. I am struggling so much with the conflict between what working a 12 step program means (ie letting him work his program and have secrets) vs recovering and tr...	ernie	7	642	Dec 7, 2006 by maresie2
	dry drunks and what to do.. (Preview) I've	jaja	7	558	Dec 7, 2006 by snoopy
	Why do they call? (Preview) Why do they call to tell you that they are going golfing in Las Vegas with the boys? Why don't they introduce you to the boys? Are they embarassed or don't they want the boys to know that they are married? Why do they call and tell you that they are going to an annual event with a friend but this is an event that...	nmike	1	317	Dec 7, 2006 by debilyn
	Starting to figure out how I keep getting A's (Preview) I have really been thinking hard lately about why it is that I keep picking A's and I have noticed a few things. Generally A's are intelligent, which is a draw for me. Also there is that edge of danger and excitement. They are fun in the beginning and usually great in bed. They are good at giving the appeara...	carolinagirl	17	447	Dec 6, 2006 by barisax
	Having a happy Christmas no matter what (Preview) Well I have 19 days to Christmas and I am feeling the familiar dread. For 6 plus years now I've let the A dominate Christmas. We once, (in the days I had money) went to a beautiful resort town (paid for by me of course) and he had to high tail it back to get loaded. Admittedly at that time I wa...	maresie2	5	390	Dec 6, 2006 by BlueCloud
	A sad day ... ESH please (Preview) Good Morning ((Everyone)) It's a sad morning for me and my family. A few weeks ago my brother told me I was going to be an aunt, both him and his girlfriend were so excited. Not to mention the rest of us in the family, after health issues with my Dad and stepDad, and the chaos of my experiences trying to sep...	Jennifer	13	579	Dec 6, 2006 by Diva
	Being in Control (Preview) Hello ((((((((Friends))))))))))), Life has brought me much pain and many pleasures...these things I am grateful for...however, hub is trying to find some sympathy and compassion....the truth of the matter is I have nothing left to give him...... Me and the kids have suffered so very muc...	Andrea12	7	391	Dec 6, 2006 by hersh
	dealing with the past,,or shutting the door on it... (Preview) Hi (((((alanon friends))))) How many times have I heard in an open AA meeting those words from the promises....we will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it....something like that,I may not have it exactly. I understand why an A may want to shut the door on their past.The trail of devas...	drucilla06	4	420	Dec 6, 2006 by hersh
	It's Brick . . . House . . . (Preview) Everybody sing - It's Brick . . . House!! (you know you can sing it - you are probably doing a few little dance moves in your chair at your computer - not to mention that song will be in your head the rest of the day!! ) Ok - Well it's not really a "brick" house, it's a double wide man...	Rita G	9	442	Dec 6, 2006 by greta
	f2f (Preview) Well, I went to my first f2f last night, and am thinking I dont want to go back...I went there thinking I would find..I dont know what...something...but alls I found was a bunch of bitter old birds hell bent on bashing their A's...ALL A's as a matter of fact... I wanted to scream "I KNOW what kind of...	acjmom	2	374	Dec 6, 2006 by rtexas
	What are some of your favorite books on recovery? (Preview) I'd love to read anything pertaining to my situation, and how I may better cope. What books do any of you recommend, what was one of your favorites,etc... Thank you for any suggestions. *Bna	BnA2006	7	412	Dec 6, 2006 by BnA2006
	Wavering on Leaving (Preview) After 3 years in AlAnon, you'd think by now the amazement would wear off of how meetings seem to be "just what I need to hear", and now after spending the morning on the message board, "just what I needed to read." My AH crossed what I thought was the final line last week. In an alcoholic rag...	TXSusan	6	380	Dec 6, 2006 by hudsond
	Is there anyone here with a happy ending? (Preview) I do not in anyway mean to ask that with any sarcasm!!! I just wanted to say that first:) I've only just recently discovered this wonderful board, so naturally I don't know everyone's story. As far as I can see though, I've read none that have happy endings with their A. Please please feel free to c...	BnA2006	19	616	Dec 6, 2006 by autumn
	HOw to Stop (Preview) I am having difficulties with my distorted thinking. It's getting in the way and I find myself consumed with negative thoughts about my Sober "A". I want it to stop but I don't know how to stop it. When I feel this mood coming on I read my litature, talk to an alanon member, my counselor. I meditate, say my s...	albertarose	7	449	Dec 6, 2006 by Rita G
	How did I get here? (Preview) I'm new to this board but have spent the whole day and night reading everything that I can possibly find on the subject of a being a partner of a AH. I'm going to my first al-anon meeting on thursday night as I realise that enough is enough and I really must get support for myself before I end up having a bre...	bear	12	484	Dec 6, 2006 by lovette
	the chaotic brain (Preview) My husband said to me today: IS there ever a day when he (our son) doesn't have some trauma or drama going on?.....my response was, of course, NO. He leans toward chaos in his life; whether the situation is trivial or huge, all the same. It tires us out so much. I have been thinking the last hour or so...	omajoy	1	237	Dec 6, 2006 by Rita G
	I find a common thread here on MIP. (Preview) I do not fit that mold, and so it causes me to wonder why the vast majority of people here take life's little bumps to the extreme. Each of us has a BIG bump to deal with, but that should not close our eyes to the fact that we should choose our battles carefully, and think of the consequences before we jump hea...	Diva	8	361	Dec 6, 2006 by Diva
	It's all good :) (Preview) OK, so we didn't quite skirt the storm unscathed. Son got in an accident this afternoon. He's fine but his little red car isn't, but it's drivable, just pretty caved in..lol. It's still pretty treacherous out there. Let's see, in one week..son chopped finger with axe, worst ice storm in 30 yrs. son w...	Christy	12	546	Dec 6, 2006 by Karilynn
	tired of feeling guilt / approval seeking (Preview) My A makes me feel guilty so much. Guilts me into not calling my own mom cause mom hurt me growing up. the harrassess me after i call. liike saying i said things i shouldnt have. which isnt true then turns around and checks to see when i called hher on the phone bill that i pay. . Im tired o...	purplebutterfly	1	248	Dec 6, 2006 by peewee
	ITS ALRIGHT TO ASK FOR HELP (Preview) ((((((((((((((ROOMIES))))))))))))) I recently suffered a bout of depression, I was off my work for nine weeks. I was given anti-depressants from my doctor. I took them for a few weeks. But I deceided, the last time I had them I was on them for three years. So, I could fight back without them. I grad...	ally	2	412	Dec 5, 2006 by peewee
	Seeing things from their point of view (Preview) Last night I watched a documentary about the Heavy Metal Band Metallica - it documented the band trying to stay together and put out a new album while their frontman went into rehab for alcohol and 'other unamed' addictions, mainly alcohol. I was actually really touched seeing the transforma...	mama_nz	0	290	Dec 5, 2006 by mama_nz
	Do"A's" have extra sensory perception????? (Preview) Seriously..............I wonder about this????? Why is it I have changed my mobile(cell)phone number..............changed my email address..............got a house phone showing caller ID( Usefull,except where caller ID is withheld,or is international call)........why Is it that when...	chris52	6	400	Dec 5, 2006 by mama_nz
	Business Meeting Wedsnesday Debember 6th Agenda (Preview) Agenda for Wednesday December 6th 2006 Group Business Meeting at 7pm est New comers MEeting update Schedule New Business Time change Sunday Meeting For group Business meeting New Mirc Chair/ Op Friendly Step Tradition Meeting Rotation Disucussion of New chairpersons to b...	kerry5	0	248	Dec 5, 2006 by kerry5
	How Hard can an Addict Hit???? (Preview) Hello ((((((((((friends))))))))), Just sitting here thinking about things, and wondering how hard can an Addict hit his Bottom.....hub really took a turn for the worse....he stole his dads credit cards and went on a 3 day binge.....now he is homeless....no vehicle....no money....no resou...	Andrea12	20	644	Dec 5, 2006 by Mobirdie
	A strange thing happened at the Alanon meeting.... (Preview) I was at my f2f last night and at the closing we all hold hands and do the lords prayer so the math guy who has been tutoring me is on my right. about 1/4 thru the prayer he is stroking the inide of my palm and I FREAK OUT!! Internally of course. He is old enough to be my father and it felt to me...	carolinagirl	6	357	Dec 5, 2006 by Kethry
	HUGE FOR ME (Preview) Hello Friends, I have come much farther in my recovery than I even imagined.....I had a huge reality check yesterday....and I took the right path for me.... Well hub hit and he hit hard.....thought he could walk right back in this house because he had no where else to go....he was strung out, n...	Andrea12	15	508	Dec 5, 2006 by carolinagirl
	Advice, please.... (Preview) Hey There - Well it seems that my 'A' has made his choice... alcohol... he has not been home for 3 days. Though, I must admit it has been a lot quieter in the house these days. Though it still hurts... I am trying to only deal with my side of the street and continue to live my life as nothing is w...	Messy	8	523	Dec 5, 2006 by carolinagirl
	Time of year to truly embrace "Step One" (Preview) It is the time of year, where most people are under stress and obligation to get things done before the holidays, but toss your emotions while dealing with active alcoholism, and all of it can become totally overwhelming for us. Each of us who come to this site have been devastaed by someone else...	gardengal	2	389	Dec 5, 2006 by Tiger2006
	What is my part in it? (Preview) Sometimes I hear this and I feel very angry. My father was a violent alcoholic. He had a very sadistic side to him. He would think it was funny when he would grab my legs and hold me under water then let me come up gasping and crying. What was my part in this? Not a damn thing. He was cruel and still is. I know he i...	kissers	12	469	Dec 5, 2006 by HereIam
	A little ahead of the game this time. (Preview) I have posted before about my younger son (age 30) having a drinking problem. I don't want to label him as an A but I would say it is a problem. He is one that will drink on a Friday night and want to continue on when he wakes up on Saturday. By Sunday and probably thru at least Tuesday he feels like crap and...	Gailey	1	373	Dec 5, 2006 by Rita G
	Love in pain (Preview) My mother has been an alcholic... forever.. yet it only started 3 years ago when she began again now she is so far down she will clean up for 2 weeks.. then binge... drinking 20 in a night.. passing out.. but not until she become so mean... last night when i was out there she threatened to kill hers...	Summer	4	313	Dec 5, 2006 by Rita G
	how can i (Preview) Hi all i am a alcoholic i been sober almost 17 years on 26 of this month i am riding a women to AA meeting,and i feel all she want is thing i dont know how to stop riding her how do you do it when you dont want to hurt there feeling,well i hope some one here has a ideal how to do this and i got two weeks here...	marty	2	325	Dec 5, 2006 by Lunamoth
	I need HELP, please !! (Preview) I havent posted in awhile I have been reading a lot of posts but for some reason haven't posted. Now, I really need some guidance, support and just to write down my thoughts... I kicked my husband out in September. He was drinking a lot and going out until all hours of the night with his buddies. I...	Tammy	8	423	Dec 4, 2006 by whitie
	They are lost...!!! (Preview) (((My friends))) I had an AHA moment that made me feel better today, and wanted to share with you all. My AH has been sober for a little over 30 days now, and it is better. He is feeling better, going to meetings, and really trying. It is hard to get my hopes up, but I am being wary.&nbs...	hersh	9	468	Dec 4, 2006 by lin0606
	do you ever feel you are in "it" alone? (Preview) These are just my feelings and "feelings aren't facts" My Alanon Alter Ego is talking to Maria But I guess today is the day that I feel like I'm in "it" alone. What is it? Well do you ever feel like it's always you making the phone calls to say hello? Do you ever feel like it's only you who remembers s...	Maria123	14	4358	Dec 4, 2006 by lmt123
	1200 miles apart doesn't help one bit (Preview) My A son in Florida keeps calling, crying and begging me to front a ticket home for him. I have stood firm and said when I sell his car, which is advertised, I will get him a ticket, not before. He cries and says i have picked the wrong time to take a stand. He makes me angry, sad, hopeless, una...	laurab	6	396	Dec 4, 2006 by Christy
	Rita.... Did you get a great big package delivered today? (Preview) Dear Rita, I am just mortified that it has taken over a year to get your home back together. Are they coming this week to get it going? You are such a good Mom and an inspiration here. My hope is they come through so you can enjoy your Christmas holidays in your new home. My prayers a...	rtexas	1	261	Dec 4, 2006 by Rita G
	Bittersweet weekend... (Preview) ((((Everyone)))) Hope everyone is doing well. I haven't been able to post much. This is a very busy time of year for me at work so I have been replying a little when I have a chance and reading when I get a spare moment. I seem to be in kind of an emotional "never-never land". Its a pl...	rtexas	3	255	Dec 4, 2006 by Rita G
	New to the Forum (Preview) I read a few topics on the message board before I decided to join. I went to my first Ala-non metting 2 nights ago. I have reached my bottom, for a year now I have been frustrated by the actions of my alcaholic but now I am ashamed of my own actions. I found myself sinking to his level and playing his games. I do...	kiwigrl	12	645	Dec 4, 2006 by kiwi sweetie
	ignorance is bliss... (Preview) .....seems like it sometimes. On the one hand, I was relieved when I first began to learn about alcoholism and it's effect on everyone involved. I was forever saying "Okay, I see now!" "Ah Ha! That explains it!" and stuff along those lines. Burdens were lifted. Then I go back into a slump like tod...	jaja	4	336	Dec 4, 2006 by jaja
	I always thought it was me! (Preview) Every weekend my husband would be a DRAG, he wouldn't want to get up when I wanted him to, he wouldn't want to go do anything with the family he was ALWAYS "resting". He was grumpy and mean and nasty to everyone on his time off and I was always resentful that he wouldn't get up and be part of the family....	carolinagirl	1	336	Dec 4, 2006 by rtexas
	Am I crazy or what? (Preview) Hello All, I havent posted in awhile, but still read on here alot... it still helps to know there are others here living the same kind of life and wishing it was better. LOL Well, hubby is gone again...like thats a big surprise, but what does s...	acjmom	2	309	Dec 4, 2006 by Maria123
	Just wondering (Preview) Hello All, I have been doing alot of reading on here and alot of thinking and am wondering if an A can just not see what they are giving up..or do they just really not care?Time and time again on here I read that alls a non A wants is for their A to love them as much as they love thei...	acjmom	2	269	Dec 4, 2006 by ShelBell
	Holidays Cards for MIP family (Preview) ((((((((John)))))), Has there been a decision made about sending the holidays cards to the recovery house yet? Or is that part of the next business meeting this month! I'm still game for sending them out if anyone else is. Fingers crossed we'll be able to do it again, it was such fun! Ga...	Karilynn	4	318	Dec 4, 2006 by carolinagirl
	Struggling with the guilt (Preview) Hello again (((((((((((((((((wonderful people)))))))))))))))) Am so sorry it's been so long since I last posted. No puter and lousy internet access means I still get to read some posts but not a lot of time left to respond(Connection is very slow) even less to actually post. I did try a few times and t...	chris52	7	397	Dec 4, 2006 by Karilynn
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.